Victus per Reproba Monumentum
by firefly5151
Summary: Severitus challenge response! A package is sent to Severus 16 years after Lily's death. Its contents reveal he & Harry have been living a lie. Will they both come to accept the truth & one another? Set after OOTP. Not HBP compliant. No horcruxes. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Victus per Reproba Monumentum** by Firefly5151

**Disclaimer:** No characters were harmed in the making of this story and they were returned to their rightful owner, J.K.R., after I borrowed them for a little fun.

**Summary:** The last sixteen years of Severus' life have been a lie. After the truth is revealed, will he accept it? And what does it have to do with sixteen year-old Harry Potter? Response to a Severitus challenge. Better late than never, right:)

**A/N:** This is my first Harry Potter fic...please be gentle. LOL. I'm trying to stay in character as much as I can. But if I don't, I hope it's not too bad. I've also updated the story through Ch 10 since first posting...I've removed all Latin chapter titles.

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**Chapter 1**

Remus Lupin watched as sixteen year-old Harry Potter emerged from the side of number 4 Privet Drive, dragging an overloaded trash can in each hand. He was limping as he walked sluggishly down the driveway, and was coughing quite a bit. His head was down with his shoulders hunched over. He was a lot thinner than he was two months prior. His clothes, though normally big, hung on him limply. His jeans, at one time blue, were almost a light brown, caked with dirt, and had many tears and holes in them. His grey shirt looked as bad as his jeans. Harry himself looked extremely dirty too, like he hadn't had a shower in days. It was distressing and a bit of a shock for Remus to see Harry's appearance.

When Harry placed the cans at the curb and lifted his head before turning around to walk back to the house, Remus could see the emptiness in his green eyes and the depressed expression on his face. He also noticed something else. There was something a little different about Harry's face, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Hey freak!"

Harry turned around at the sound and saw his cousin Dudley strolling up the sidewalk, coming home from beating up the neighborhood kids. He knew what would be coming when Dudley got close to him. Normally he wouldn't have just stood there, but now he didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. What was the point?

As Dudley walked up the driveway, he paused and punched Harry in the stomach twice. "That's for not giving me my piece of cake fast enough after lunch today, you freak." Then he continued on up into the house.

The force of the punches, combined with his weakened state from being sick the past week, caused Harry to crumple to the ground. As he tried to catch his breath, a shadow loomed over him. It had to be Dudley. The two punches were not his normal 'punishment' from him. "I knew you weren't done having a go at me. I'm surprised it took you this long to come back," he said panting.

Harry yelped and squeezed his eyes closed as two firm hands gripped his bruised arms and pulled him up to a standing position. Noticing he wasn't being beaten up, he opened his eyes and looked into the concerned eyes of Remus. "Professor!" He coughed a few times with his arms wrapped around his stomach.

"Harry, are you okay?" He didn't know why he even asked. Clearly the boy was not okay, and that wasn't because he was just punched in the stomach.

"I'm fine," he wheezed with his head down, not being able to look at his ex-professor in the eye. _If I look at him in the eyes, he'll know the truth._ "Just having a problem catching my breath, that's all."

Remus looked at his best friend's son with sadness. "Harry, I know you are not fine. You're anything _but _fine." He watched as Harry finally lifted his head and met his eyes. "Can you get away for a while?" He pointed his head toward the house. "Without being missed?"

"Yeah. There's a playground down the street."

They walked to the playground in silence. When they arrived, Remus led them over to an empty bench under the shade of a giant oak tree. Harry sat down facing the playground…away from Remus. When Remus placed his hand on Harry's arm to make him face him, Harry gave out a small cry of pain.

Without a question, Remus immediately pulled up the sleeve of Harry's shirt. There were bruises and a few cuts all over his arm. He checked the other arm and found the same. "Harry, what happened? Why are there bruises and cuts all over your arms?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders as he looked at Remus. "Doesn't matter," he muttered.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter? It does matter." Remus was a little outraged that someone could do this to this boy.

"No it doesn't. This is nor—." Harry stopped himself before the truth came out. He didn't want anybody to know the truth, that it was normal. He looked down to the ground and watched as an ant made its way toward a piece of food next to his shoe. He then sneezed and started coughing uncontrollably. When the coughing stopped, he looked up at Remus' concerned face. "It's just a cold."

Remus nodded. "Harry, I really need to know what's going on. Why are you dressed like this and look like this?"

Harry shrugged again.

"You aren't handling Sirius' death well are you?"

At Sirius' name, Harry took in a deep breath and turned away from Remus. He didn't want to talk about Sirius. He thought he'd finally gotten over his death.

Taking that as a sign, Remus continued. "Now I know you aren't."

Knowing he wasn't going to get out of this conversation, Harry placed his elbows on his knees, coughed and covered his face with his hands. He sat there for about a minute then turned to Remus. "Fine, like you care anyway," he challenged.

"Harry." Remus' tone conveyed his dismay that Harry believed he didn't care.

_If Remus really cared anything about me, he would have stopped by sooner than this. _"No! I'm dressed like this and look like this because it's one of my many punishments. I'm not getting my outside chores done fast enough. My relatives, if you want to call them that, won't let me take a shower or wear clean clothes until I finish all the gardening and other chores I've been assigned to do outside. What you saw on my arms is what happened when I tried to clean myself up a few days ago. I've been wearing this stuff for four days. Normally I could get it done in a day, but now…"

"Now you just don't feel like doing anything right?" Remus asked, knowing exactly how Harry felt.

"Yeah. I don't even try to stop Dudley from beating me up every day either." He felt ashamed for confessing this to his ex-professor so he stood up and walked over to one of the swings nearby.

Remus sat on the bench and watched Harry walk away. He sighed. _I wish Harry knew that he doesn't need to go through this alone._ He let Harry be by himself for a few minutes then joined him on the next swing. "Harry, I promise I won't talk about Sirius anymore." At Harry's glance he added, "For now. But we will need to talk." He started swinging a little on the swing, with his feet still on the ground, before he spoke again. "I noticed you didn't ask why I was here."

"It was on my mind. Why _are_ you here?" He looked over at Remus.

A smile spread across Remus' face. "Professor Dumbledore asked me to come back to Hogwarts to teach Defense this year."

Harry stopped swinging immediately and turned to Remus. "That's great professor." He smiled a genuine smile for the first time that summer.

"I also have news concerning you. I've gotten Professor Dumbledore's permission to come get you. I don't want you to stay here the rest of the summer…though that only is three more days."

"You mean I can leave? Today?"

"Yes." Remus was glad for Harry's mood change. "I'm sorry I couldn't get you earlier, but—"

"I don't care if the rest of the summer is two minutes. Where will I be staying until I go back to Hogwarts?"

"We'll talk about that later." Remus got off the swing and grabbed Harry's hands to help him up. "Now why don't you go to the Dursley's and tell them you're leaving for school early, but need to take a shower first."

"Erm…where should I meet you with my trunk? I don't think it'd be a good idea for you to come to the house."

"I've got something to do so how about here in an hour and a half? Oh and Harry, we will be having that talk about Sirius tonight."

"Okay." Harry's mood changed immediately.

The two left the playground and parted. Remus went straight to Dumbledore to tell him about Harry while Harry broke the news to his relatives, packed, and took a shower.

Almost an hour and a half later, Harry was dragging his trunk back to the park. He was happy that he'd be leaving the Dursley's but was really dreading the talk he was to have with Remus about Sirius. He thought that over the last few months he'd gotten over the grief he felt for Sirius. But the sadness over the loss of his godfather came back the minute Remus mentioned Sirius' name earlier that day. It had been the first time anyone talked about him since he left Hogwarts for the summer holiday. As Harry entered the park, he saw Remus by the bench they were sitting at earlier, and it increased his sadness so much that it felt like it was only days after Sirius' death.

"Hi Harry," Remus greeted, as Harry came up to the bench.

"How are we getting there professor?" Harry asked abruptly as he came to a stop in front of Remus.

Remus reached into his pocket and pulled out a purple headband. "Portkey." As Harry reached out and took hold of the headband, Remus realized that he probably should have prepared Harry for where they were headed…especially after their talk earlier in the day. Plus, Harry seemed depressed again. But it was too late now. The Portkey would activate any second. "Ready Harry?" Remus questioned.

Before Harry could answer, he felt the familiar tug at his navel. In a matter of seconds, he was banging into Remus and his trunk as they sped forward through a swirl of colors. No sooner did it start, did it stop. With Harry's weakened state, upon his feet slamming into the ground, his knees buckled and he immediately fell to the ground.

Slowly getting to his feet, Harry looked around. He was standing in the middle of a small grassy square. Beyond the square was a row of tall, grimy, dilapidated houses. Dragging his trunk, he followed Remus up to the houses. In a daze, he watched a battered black door with a twisted serpent door knocker appear between the two houses in front of him.

With a few concerned glances at Harry, Remus guided him up the stone steps and into Number Twelve Grimmauld Place.


	2. Chapter 2

Before you get to the story, I have to make one minor comment. I'm hoping no one really knows Latin. When I translated my story title from English to Latin, I got my current title. But when I translated it back, it meant nothing like it was supposed to. :) Oh well. Hopefully it won't bother anyone.

Oh and thanks for all the reviews. Glad you're enjoying it.

On to the story.

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****Chapter 2**

After Remus guided Harry into the house, he closed the door behind them and walked in front of Harry, placing his hands on his shoulders. "I've got to attend an Order meeting, but we'll talk later. Why don't you go up and rest until I come get you." At Harry's silence and almost non-existent nod; he was still in his depressed state, he gave the boy a sympathetic look. He then headed downstairs to the kitchen to join the meeting.

Standing in the entrance hall Harry slowly looked up to the ceiling and spotted a serpent chandelier. _Please let me not be where I think I am_ he thought desperately. He then looked around and saw the peeling wallpaper, the dirty threadbare carpet, the troll's leg umbrella stand and the velvet curtained portrait. Recognition finally sinking in, his breath caught in his throat and he began shaking. It was at that moment when he knew he wasn't over Sirius' death. "NO!"

As fast as he could, he turned around and ran to the front door to get out. It was locked. He tried opening the door two more times, each as unsuccessful as the first, then started banging on it. "No! Not here."

Severus Snape appeared at the bottom of the stairway at the far end of the entrance hall a few seconds later. He was on his way down from the drawing room to join the meeting in the kitchen. Hearing the commotion coming from the front door, he stopped to see what was going on.

Harry was still banging on the door but with less strength, now defeated. "No. Anyplace but here." This was the last place he ever wanted to be. It was too close to Sirius' death for him to be in this place. He never wanted to be in this house again. "I'd rather spend the rest of my life with Snape than be in this house," he said, between shaky breathes. "Please, anywhere but here." Harry started to cough uncontrollably and sway a little on his feet, as he continued banging on the door. He felt like he was going to faint.

Wanting to make the racket go away and wondering if he heard the boy right, Severus stalked over to Harry, gripped his arm, and forcefully turned him around from the door. He gave Harry an odd look then immediately plastered his face with his usual scowl. "Mr. Potter, what is your problem?" He sneered at the boy, seeming to enjoy seeing him is such distress.

Harry shrugged out of Snape's grip and slumped down onto his trunk, staring at the floor. He was still shaking. "No!" He seemed to not hear his professor's question.

Severus crossed his arms over his chest, his patience rapidly diminishing. "Potter, answer me. I know you feel that being the famous Harry Potter entitles you to not do anything you don't want to, but you _will_ answer me." His threatening tone was coming through loud and clear.

Harry looked up at the Potions Master, finally getting out of the shocked state he was in. "Professor, please." His voice was beginning to shake. "Please take me back to the Dursley's. Take me anywhere. I can't stay in this house." He tried to get up and go back to the door, but Snape gripped his arm again, preventing him from moving.

"You are wasting my time Potter," he said bitterly, his face mere inches from Harry's. "I have to get to the Order meeting. Get upstairs right now! After the meeting is over, you can tell your sad story to someone who cares." He let go of Harry's arm with a jerk and walked down to the kitchen.

Harry stood there rubbing the arm Snape had in his grip. Getting even more upset after hearing his icy comments, he watched as Snape left the entrance hall. He took a few deep, calming breaths, and forced himself to take his trunk up to the room he shared with Ron last year. _It won't be that bad. I can handle being in the bedroom again._

As Harry made his way up the stairs to the second floor, he did his best to just look at the steps he was climbing and not of the walls and the mounted house-elf heads. The less he saw, the less he was reminded of where he actually was.

His determination to go the bedroom was lessening as he walked along the creaky second floor. By the time he got to the room, he was regretting his decision entirely and just stood there staring at the closed door. He knew the bedroom in front of him would bring back too many memories from the time he was there last year…when Sirius was alive. _I know I can do this. It's only until the Order meeting is over and I can convince Professor Lupin to take me back to the Dursley's. _He took a shaky breath, opened the door, and walked into the bedroom.

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Sorry this chapter is so short. It was really the only logical place to stop. As always, please review!

A/N: I'm hoping to have maybe one more chapter posted before the end of the year. After that, I'm not sure when the next chapter will be posted. I write my stories kind of funny. I have an outline I'm following, but am writing up scenes all other the place. I can't seem to write a story in order. And if I do, I always go back and do a lot of re-writing on the previous chapters. I want to make sure I'm at least 2 or 3 chapters ahead of what I'm posting, that way there will be less chance of me changing my story. Hope you all can have patience with me. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far!!

I realize that in my summary I mentioned this is a response to a Severitus challenge. So far I haven't really met any of the requirements, but I do promise I will. I just have to set things up first. If you're patient with me, I promise you will be rewarded. :)

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**Chapter 3**

Upon entering the bedroom, Harry's eyes were immediately drawn to his bed. The twin bed was freshly made with a midnight blue down comforter and two lighter blue fluffy pillows placed on top; all drastically contrasting with the drab and dreary colors of the walls and floor. _Guess that's what Professor Lupin had to take care of this afternoon_ he thought. Even though it was the last place he wanted to be, Harry decided he could stay in the bedroom until he could talk with Remus when the meeting was over. He hauled his trunk to the front of the wardrobe between the two beds and sat down on his bed. As he sat there, he realized how tired he was and that he didn't feel particularly well. Reluctantly, he lay down on the bed and was asleep almost immediately.

Waking up over an hour later because he was cold, Harry decided to get under the sheet and comforter that he was lying on top of. Lying under the heavy comforter fifteen minutes later, he still couldn't get any warmer. He sat up and looked over to the bed Ron occupied the year before to see if there was a blanket on it that he could take. All he saw was an old lumpy mattress.

Shivering, he slowly bent down to his trunk and got out his wand. He hoped to conjure a blanket from a nearby room. "Accio blanket." Nothing appeared. Figuring there wasn't one nearby; he tried the next thing he could think of. He pulled out a piece of parchment from his trunk and tried to transfigure it into a blanket. All he got was a maroon 4"x4" piece of fluffy cloth with gold blankets for its pattern. He tried the transfiguration two more times with the same results. He was really starting to get upset.

He sat down on his bed almost in tears. _First I get the 'loving' treatment from my relatives, then I had to be reminded of Sirius's death by staying in this house, and now because of my stupid cold, I can't even get myself an extra blanket to keep me warm. _He stared down at the floor, arms resting on his thighs with his hands clasped, as tried to calm down. He was not going to cry over something as stupid as a blanket. As he took in a few deep breathes, he started coughing; deep harsh coughs that made his chest ache. The coughing then started to make his head hurt. As he sat there, he began to realize how bad his cold was making him feel.

Not wanting to bother anyone over something as trivial as a blanket and a potion that could help him feel better, but seeing no choice in the matter, Harry decided to go downstairs and ask someone for help. He got up and slowly walked to the door. Upon realizing how weak and achy he was, he relied heavily on the staircase railing to hold him up on the way down the stairs to the kitchen. He just hoped that the meeting was over and that Remus or Mrs. Weasley was still there. As he neared the bottom of the stairs, he let out a relieved sigh as he saw the kitchen door open and heard voices.

The trek down the three floors to the kitchen had tired Harry out and he began to feel dizzy and weak. When he reached the doorway to the kitchen, he walked just inside it and leaned heavily against the wall as he looked around the room. Remus, Mrs. Wealsey, and Dumbledore were standing at the far side of the long kitchen table in a heated discussion. "Professor Lupin," Harry croaked; his throat sore and scratchy. Not getting a response, he tried again a little louder. Remus still didn't acknowledge Harry. He tried to get Mrs. Weasley and Dumbledore's attention but they didn't acknowledge him either.

He was cold and hurt so much, and he couldn't get anyone's attention. Feeling worse by the second, Harry slowly slid down the wall to the floor and just sat there with his arms crossed over his knees, forehead resting on his arms, shivering. He closed his eyes, hoping that would help with the pain.

Severus walked into the kitchen a minute later. "Professor Dumbledore, I—" he stopped talking when he spotted Harry sitting on the floor just inside the doorway. He looked at the three arguing at the table and back down to Harry. "Mr. Potter, what are you doing in here?" he questioned in his usual cold manner. "I guess you can't get it through that thick head of yours that you are not permitted down here when there is an Order meeting in session."

Harry wanted to spit out an angry reply, but he just couldn't. He couldn't think about anything except the pounding in his head and how much it hurt to breathe.

Severus was waiting for one of Harry's usual remarks and was a bit surprised to not get one. "Potter, look at me when I speak to you," he commanded.

Harry wanted to look up at his professor, he really did, but his head hurt too much. He took a breath to speak, but instead began another painful coughing fit.

Severus again looked from the three arguing at the table down to Harry. None of them seemed to notice Harry. As much as he didn't want to help, Severus knew he couldn't ignore the need of one of his students, even if that student was Harry. _Why do I always end up having to help the stupid brat? And why haven't the others noticed his state?_ He kneeled down in front of his most hated student. Looking at Harry, he got the same odd feeling he did when he first saw the boy standing at the front door earlier that evening. Noticing he was slightly pale and trembling, Severus placed the back of his hand on Harry's forehead. _Guess I can't make any rude comments to Remus this time. Seems he was right in thinking Potter might be in need of healing potions._

"Potter, go up to your room." He removed his hand from Harry's forehead and stood back up. "I'll bring you some healing potions in a few minutes." He quickly strode from the kitchen to the drawing room where he had placed the potions earlier that evening.

A few minutes later, Severus entered Harry's room on the second floor only to find it empty. _That boy never listens. Now I have to go play 'hide and seek'. I've got better things to do with my time. _He placed an open-topped box and a blanket on the bed and stormed down to the kitchen.

As much as Harry wanted to go back to his warm comfortable bed after Snape left, he didn't have the strength to get up off the cold stone kitchen floor, or to move for that matter. Instead he just sat there resting his head on his arms, waiting for his lightheadedness to pass. But then he remembered that Snape told him he'd bring some potions to his room. Not wanting to be on the receiving end of Snape's wrath, Harry slowly tried to stand up and head upstairs.

He got as far as getting up and standing almost in the doorway to leave when Severus swept into the kitchen. "Potter, why aren't you upstairs like I told you?" he questioned coldly.

He looked up at Severus. "Sorry Professor." Harry coughed a few times and continued his voice now hoarse. "I was waiting until I didn't feel so lightheaded." He began to head upstairs, but right as he passed Severus a wave of dizziness came over him.

Severus watched as Harry started to sway and reached out to steady him. In the few seconds afterward, with his hands still on the boy's shoulders, the odd feeling he had earlier returned. Contact with Harry made it feel even stronger than before. With a furrowed brow, Severus cocked his head and looked at Harry intently. He saw something vaguely familiar. Something he had seen on himself when looking in a mirror at Harry's age. As Harry began to raise his head to look at him, Severus put on a neutral face.

"Thank you," said Harry, slightly embarrassed, a few seconds after he felt hands on his shoulders holding him steady.

"Can you make it on your own Potter?" Severus questioned, his tone losing some of its normal bitterness.

Harry's face started turning a light shade of red. _Great. Now he thinks I'm incompetent. That greasy git. I'll make sure I can get upstairs by myself…even if I have to crawl all the way up. _"Yes. I can make it."

Severus let go of Harry's shoulders and watched as he began the trek upstairs. When he noticed Harry start to sway again while in the middle of the staircase, he quickly rushed to his side. "I knew you were an incompe—" He stopped his harsh comment as he felt the boy lean against his side, instead of the wall, for support. He put his arm around Harry to steady him, though he was a little confused as to why. _What is going on with me? Why do I care what happens to the boy right now?_ "Come on Potter, let's get you to bed." He helped Harry up the stairs and into the bedroom.

Even though Harry couldn't stand his potions teacher, he leaned heavily on Snape as they slowly climbed the stairs. As much as he wanted to climb the stairs and get to his room by himself, he knew he wouldn't have been able to. He was grateful for the assistance, though slightly embarrassed. _I sure hope Snape doesn't use this to taunt me while at Hogwarts this year._

Severus removed himself from Harry as they entered the bedroom. He went to the bed, grabbed the box of potions and blanket and placed them on the other bed. "Get in to bed," he commanded as Harry just stood in the doorway not moving.

Harry looked at his professor in confusion. Bright green eyes met the glare of narrowed cold black eyes as he tried to understand why the man was being decent to him. Knowing he'd never understand, he nodded, walked to the bed, removed his shoes and sat down.

Seeing that Harry was obeying him, Severus went to the box of potions and pulled out two vials. "Here Potter," he said, handing one of them to Harry.

Harry took the vial from Severus' outstretched hand and looked at the thick sapphire blue liquid with a grimace.

Seeing the look on Harry's face, Severus anticipated the next words that would more than likely come out of the boy's mouth. "It's for your cough, Potter. It will help clear the infection in your lungs. It also has a sleeping draught mixed with it."

Harry looked down into the vial again before placing it to his lips and swallowing the liquid within. Luckily, the potion didn't taste as bad as he expected. As he handed the vial back to his professor, another one was being handed to him. He looked into this vial and recognized the potion immediately. It was a fever reducing potion. He gladly swallowed this potion and handed the vial back.

Severus took this vial and walked back to the box on the empty bed. He set the two vials inside and pulled out a goblet. "You have one more potion to take Potter. Then you will get some rest."

Harry took the goblet that was handed to him and looked inside. He recognized this one too. "Pepper-Up? Do I really need this Professor?" The thought of having to take this potion and to have his teacher see the side-effect was humiliating.

"Yes."

"But Professor, I don't—."

"Potter," Severus warned. _This boy has to argue over everything doesn't he?_

"Fine." He swallowed the potion and thrust the goblet back at Severus. "Goodbye, sir," he huffed. He then lay down on his bed, and turned away from Severus.

Severus put the empty goblet back in the box and picked up the blanket. _Why do I care so much about this insolent boy right now? I shouldn't even bother._ He turned around and walked back to Harry's bed.

Harry had been staring at the wall, listening intently for the sound of the bedroom door closing. Instead of hearing the door squeak on its hinges, he felt the sheet and comforter on his bed being pulled out from under him and placed on top of him. He then felt another blanket being laid over him.

After Severus covered the boy with the blankets, he walked back to the empty bed, picked up the box and went to leave, closing the door behind him.

With the warmth of the blankets and the effects of the sleeping draught he had taken a minute ago, Harry's eyes began to feel heavy. However, he still heard the squeak of the bedroom door beginning to close, signaling Snape was leaving the room. Before it closed completely, he whispered, "Thank you Professor Snape."

Severus was actually surprised for the thanks, but didn't acknowledge the boy until he was in the hall with the door closed. "You're welcome, Mr. Potter."

Having already spent more time in the house than he originally intended, Severus rushed downstairs to the drawing room to gather his things. He met Remus, who was heading upstairs, halfway down.

"Severus, what were you doing upstairs?" Remus questioned, thinking that the man left headquarters at least a half hour before. "The meeting was over half an hour ago."

"What do you think Lupin?" he said irritated. "You did ask me to bring some potions for Mr. Potter, did you not?"

"Well, yes. But you said you would just leave them for me before you left."

"Things changed," he offered, not wanting to go into details.

Remus looked at Severus for an explanation. "What things?"

Severus glared at the man, ignoring his question. "Mr. Potter should be asleep until late tomorrow afternoon." Not wanting to answer any more questions the werewolf might have, he continued, "Now if you don't mind, I'm late for an appointment." He turned away from Remus and swept down the staircase, gathered his things from the drawing room, and left the house.

Remus was left standing in the middle of the staircase. He was in complete shock that Severus had been the one to give Harry the potions. He recalled only hours before how the same man repeatedly said he was too busy to make the potions for Harry, and how in the end he agreed only to get Remus to leave him alone.

Chuckling to himself, Remus continued up the staircase. _That man will never cease to amaze me. _He approached the second floor and started down the hallway. He cautiously walked to Harry's room; doing his best to make sure the floor didn't creak beneath his feet and wake Harry up.

After carefully opening the bedroom door and seeing that Harry was indeed asleep, Remus decided to call it a night and went to the room he had claimed as his own for the next few days.

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Please review...I live on reviews. Make my Christmas happy, and review. :) :) Actually, reviewing is the only way I really know that people are reading and are interested in what I'm writing. It lets me know if it's worth continuing on or if there are any problems with the story.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you all so much for the reviews. They sure made my Christmas. And, as a thank you, here's another chapter. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 4**

Harry woke up the next evening, lying on his back, staring up at the bedroom's yellowed ceiling. At first he didn't remember where he was, but after a quick glance around the room, it all came suddenly back; Remus and the Portkey, being in Sirius' house, and the most unexpected, Professor Snape helping him upstairs and giving him healing potions.

Feeling a little warm with all the covers over him, he sat up and stared at the top blanket, lost in thought. _I still can't believe Snape was the one who did this for me. _He pushed the blanket off him and sat against the headboard. As he sat there, he realized he felt a lot better than he had the night before, but he still felt sick. Knowing that Professor Lupin wouldn't have left him alone in the house, he decided that he would go in search of him and ask to be taken back to the Dursley's. But first, he thought he'd feel a little better after taking a shower. The Dursley's had only allowed him to take a three minute shower yesterday afternoon.

Upon entering the second floor bathroom, Harry gave a small smile. Remus had set out towels and washcloths for him. Turning on the water and making sure it was nice and hot, he then took a twenty minute shower. After dressing in some clean clothes, he took his towel and wiped at the fogged up mirror. After brushing his hair, he looked at himself in the mirror. His face looked a little different; it was more sallow than it was prior. Shrugging this off to his illness, he left the bathroom and went in search of Remus.

Hearing rattling coming from the kitchen, Harry walked down the stone steps and into the kitchen. Remus was bent down, head in one of the lower cabinets, moving pots around.

"Hi Professor Lupin." Still feeling somewhat tired, Harry sat down at the kitchen table near Remus.

Remus removed his head from the cabinet and stood up, giving his back a crack. "Harry." With concern, he took a long hard look at the boy sitting at the table. That was when he was finally able to tell what was different about his face; what he had noticed at Privet Drive the day before. His face seemed a little longer and paler. But he figured the paleness could be due to his illness. "How are you feeling today?"

"I'm still a little tired, but I feel better." He gave a yawn.

"Glad to hear it. You look a little better." He took a cup out of the upper cupboard over the sink, poured Harry a cup of tea from the kettle on the stove, and set it down in front of the boy. He turned back around and got his dinner that had been reheating, out of the oven. "Harry, would you like something to eat? Molly made some stew last night. There is plenty left."

"Sure Professor." Harry slid his chair back to get up and help.

At the sound of wood scraping stone, Remus turned to the table. "Stay put Harry. I'll get it for you."

"Thank you." Harry slid the chair back towards the table and watched Remus get their dinner.

Remus smiled at the boy and pulled out another bowl. He scooped some stew into both bowls and brought them to the table. He placed one in front of Harry and with his in his hand, sat down next to him.

Remus took a few spoonfuls of stew then placed the spoon inside the bowl, turning to Harry. He chuckled at first, and then a sad look came over his face. Harry's face was a foot above his bowl of stew, the rising steam fogging up his glasses. He was shoveling the stew in his mouth, like he hadn't eaten in days, which Remus guessed might have been true, knowing how the Dursley's treated him in the past. He steeled himself, knowing Harry was going through a lot right now, and didn't need to get him any more upset. He cleared his throat. "I hope you didn't have any problems with Professor Snape last night, Harry."

Harry swallowed and put down his spoon, looking into his bowl. "Erm…no." He looked up at Remus. "No problems really, but...," he stammered, not knowing how to continue, and stirred his stew absentmindedly.

Remus saw the uncertainty in the boy's face. "What happened?"

"Well, erm…why did Professor Snape have potions to give me, sir? How did he know I needed them?"

Remus took a spoonful of stew then put his spoon back down. He crossed his arms and leaned on the table. "After I visited you yesterday afternoon, I knew you were in need of some potions. I went to Professor Snape and asked him to make some and to bring them when he came to the meeting last night. I wanted to make sure that if you needed them while we were here, I'd have them to give you."

Harry nodded in understanding.

"Last night when I went to check on you after the Order meeting was over, I met Severus coming down the stairs. In a round about way, he mentioned that something happened and that he had to give you a dose of the potions. Do you mind me asking what happened? Severus wouldn't say."

"Nothing really." Harry took a sip of his tea and continued. "Snape just found me on the floor here in the kitchen after your meeting."

"What?" Remus looked at Harry with an extremely concerned look. "What were you doing on the kitchen floor Harry?"

Harry broke eye contact with Remus and looked at the table top. _I really don't want to tell him what happened. It's too embarrassing._

"Harry?"

Harry looked up and met Remus' eyes. "I got lightheaded and I didn't have the strength to go up to my room, so I sat on the floor."

"What were you doing in the kitchen with an Order meeting in progress?" his tone becoming stern.

"I know I'm not supposed to be in the kitchen during the meetings," Harry shouted. He was getting angry. _How come everyone thinks I don't know that I shouldn't be in the kitchen when there's an Order meeting in progress?_ "The meeting was over Professor." He got up from the table and brought his bowl to the kitchen sink. He didn't want to go back to the table. He was getting too angry to talk to Professor Lupin.

Remus observed Harry's change in attitude. "I'm sorry Harry. I didn't mean to assume."

Harry began to lose some of his anger but didn't want to face Remus just yet. "I came down to the kitchen to find you and ask for a blanket and something to make me feel a little better."

"I never saw you come in."

"You were too busy arguing with the Headmaster and Mrs. Weasley. I tried to get the attention of all of you, but no one noticed." He turned around and faced Remus. "That's when Professor Snape found me. He helped me up the stairs to my room, gave me the potions, and gave me another blanket."

"That doesn't sound like Professor Snape at all. I wonder what came over him." Remus watched the emotions Harry was feeling flash across his face.

_So I really _am_ not worth much to have any one care about me or help me. _Harry was a little hurt by Remus' comment, and wasn't sure why it mattered, considering he really couldn't stand the potions master. Not wanting to think about it or anything that happened last night, he decided to head back up to his room, instead of asking to be taken back to the Dursley's. He was too tired to have an argument with Remus, which he knew would happen if he stayed downstairs. "I'm going up to my room. Thanks for dinner, Professor." Without waiting for a response, Harry went up to his room.

Remus watched Harry leave and sighed, not knowing what changed the boy's attitude and knowing Harry wouldn't talk about it. He finished his dinner in silence, then went to the drawing room.

An hour later, Severus arrived at Grimmauld Place and headed straight up to the drawing room to pick up his vials from Harry's potions. He walked in the room and found Remus sitting in the dark green arm chair reading. Not saying a word to the man, Severus walked to the writing desk and picked up the cardboard box. Looking at the contents, he discovered Harry hadn't been given the other dose of potions like he instructed Remus the day before.

Severus dropped the box back down on the desk causing the vials inside to rattle, and whirled around to face Remus. "You really do find it hard to following instructions don't you?" he hissed.

Remus looked up from his book and watched as Severus' face contorted with fury and, if possible, concern. "The one dose I gave Mr. Potter yesterday was only half of what he needed. The potions will not heal Potter properly if he was not given the other dose as I instructed. You made me waste my time and work on those potions for nothing," he spat. Irritated, Severus walked to the doorway. "I'll be back early tomorrow to pick up my vials. Be sure they're empty and clean." He swept out of the room and a few seconds later Remus heard the front door slam closed.

Confused at Severus' reaction to finding the potions still there, Remus picked up the cardboard box from the writing desk and headed upstairs to the second floor. Upon reaching the bedroom, he knocked twice on the closed wooden door. Not hearing anything, he tried again. "Harry, can I come in?"

"Yeah," Harry responded quietly from inside the bedroom.

Remus opened the door and stood in the doorway. Harry was sitting on his bed with his broom polishing kit spread out on the floor and his broom lying on his lap. "Professor Snape came by a little while ago. I have your final dose of potions. But before I give them to you, we need to talk."

"Ok." _I guess there's no getting out of it now. Maybe I can still convince Professor Lupin to take me back to the Dursley's tonight._ Harry laid his broom against the wardrobe and put his rag and polish down on the floor with the other polishing items.

Remus walked over and sat down next to Harry on the bed, putting the box beside him. He looked over at Harry, deciding best how to begin. He knew Harry was emotionally unstable and didn't want to make matters worse.

"Harry, I know you don't want to be in this house. I don't blame you. Neither do I," he admitted.

"Really?" Harry asked a little surprised.

"Yes. Harry, I know you'd rather be anywhere but here, and according to Severus, said you'd rather…" Remus broke off, laughing slightly. He continued with a smile. "He said you'd rather live with him than be here."

"He heard that?"

"Yes."

They both made eye contact and busted up laughing. After a few seconds, Remus became a little more serious. He looked at Harry, making sure he had the boy's attention. "Before our meeting, Severus told me everything that happened yesterday afternoon after I left you in the entrance hall."

The smile disappeared from Harry's face and he looked down at his lap and started playing with a thread on the blanket.

"I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable in this house Harry, but you will have to stay here until I take you to Kings Cross in two more days."

"But Professor…"

"Believe me, if there were other options, I would take them. I know you could go back to the Dursley's, but I will not let you go back there."

Harry sighed in defeat. Now knowing he was stuck in the horrible house.

"One of the reasons is because of Sirius."

At his godfather's name, Harry took a deep breath and pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his knees.

Remus watched Harry pull in on himself and gave him a sad look. "Being at the Dursley's hasn't helped you with Sirius' death. Harry, I know that the state I found you in yesterday afternoon was partially because of his death."

"I thought I was doing fine, better than I had been." He lifted his head and met Remus' concerned eyes. "Then when you stopped by and mentioned him, it felt like that day at the Ministry all over again."

Remus could see the sorrow in Harry's eyes. "I'm sorry Harry," his voice soft. "If you ever need or want to talk, please come to me. Even at Hogwarts. You may not think so, but it does help a great deal to talk about it."

"Thanks Professor. I'll remember that." He shifted his gaze from Remus to his knees.

"Good." He patted Harry's arm. "Now why don't you take the last dose of your potions." He watched Harry nod then grabbed the box next to him and gave him the final dose of potions.

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As always, please review. I live on reviews. :)

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	5. Chapter 5

First off, I want to thank you all for the reviews. I'm so glad everyone likes this story. :) I had planned on updating sooner than this, but this next part of my story just doesn't want to be written. It's still actually not all coming together. I had wanted to post one huge chapter, but since I'm still working on it and have no idea when it would get finished, I figured I'll at least post part of what was complete. Not sure if it's an abrupt ending, but this was the most logical place to stop. I'm not all that happy with this chapter, but I hope it's okay.

On to the story!

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**Chapter 5**

The sound of something heavy being pulled across the creaky second floor woke Harry up late the next morning. Clad in pajamas, with his hair tousled and sticking up all over, he walked to the bedroom door half asleep and opened it. Remus was passing by lugging an exceptionally large trunk behind him. "Professor, what are you doing?" He then noticed Remus was wearing his cloak, looking like he was getting ready to leave the house. "It's not time to go to Hogwarts yet is it?" he asked groggily, not knowing what day it actually was.

Remus stopped and faced Harry, who was in the middle of a yawn. "I'm sorry I woke you up Harry. I was trying to be as quiet as I could. I would have waited to bring my trunk down until you were already up, but I'm afraid I have to leave right now."

"Leave?!" All thoughts of going back to sleep were gone from Harry's mind. He was now wide awake. "Where are we going?" Not even waiting for a response, Harry turned around and started grabbing his clothes that were scattered all over the floor and stuffed them into his overflowing trunk. He wanted to get out of the house as fast as possible, and it didn't matter where they were going.

Remus saw how happy Harry was at the thought of leaving and was regretting what he had to say next to the boy. He hated getting Harry' hopes up; that he'd be able to leave the house. "Harry, I'm sorry, but just _I'm_ leaving. You have to stay here for the next two days."

Harry stopped packing, and with a ball of socks in his hand, stood up abruptly and turned toward the door. "Why?" he questioned gloomily, wanting to know how come he was going to be stuck in the horrid house, while his professor got to leave.

After seeing the crestfallen look on Harry's face, Remus dropped his trunk with a thud, walked in the bedroom and sat tiredly on the empty bed in the room. He gave a sad laugh. "In all my excitement of finding out I'm teaching at Hogwarts again, and going to get you from the Dursley's, I honestly forgot that tonight is the full moon."

"What does that…" Harry began, still standing in the middle of the dreary room.

"I need to return to Hogwarts for my transfiguration. With the safety measures taken on my quarters, it's the safest place for me."

"But," Harry began, before being cut off by Remus.

"I will not put you in danger by staying here, Harry."

With a slight feeling of abandonment, Harry sank down on his bed. Staring at the floor, he contemplated how he could convince Remus to take him with. He met Remus' studying gaze a few seconds later. "I could come with you, Professor. It's only two days until term starts." Seeing Remus start to shake his head, he continued, almost pleading. "I promise I'll stay in Gryffindor tower unless a professor comes to get me. I'll even take my meals in the common room."

"I'm sorry Harry, but that's out of the question." He watched Harry's face fall. "Unfortunately, students are not allowed at Hogwarts until term starts."

Harry looked down at his hands and saw he was still holding the ball of socks. With more force than necessary, he threw the socks to the floor, missing his trunk by a few feet. Feeling upset and hurt, he looked up at Remus. "Why then did you even bother coming to get me from the Dursley's if you had to leave? I would have rather spent my last few days there doing chores and being locked in my room, than being able to wander this house alone. How could you forget…"

Remus interrupted. "I was just so excited, that it slipped my mind. I can't begin to tell you how much I was looking forward to spending these three days with you, and only you. With no one to bother us and you not having to worry about homework." He stopped his explanation and looked at Harry intently, trying to gauge what he was really feeling about the situation. Harry had the look of a boy whose dog had just died, which in a way was partially the truth. Remus would have laughed, had the situation been extremely different.

"Harry, I don't want to take the place of Sirius, but…," he trailed off, with a sad look on his face. "There are many things I wanted to talk to you about. For starters, I wanted us to get to know each other better, and for you to learn more about your parents as well. Sirius had told me how much you want to know about them."

Harry brightened up at the thought of being able to learn more about his parents and especially having someone who was almost like a relative to talk to who also wanted to talk to him. He was a little surprised that that thought made him happier than he had been in months. He knew it was sad that something others considered trivial could be that important to him, but he recognized that it was because of how he had to live the past 16 years. The only time he could talk to anyone was while at Hogwarts. And even while there, he didn't feel comfortable enough with his friends to confide in them about certain things. This was something that deep down he desperately wanted for the longest time. He wanted an _adult_ to talk to.

"Professor, we can still talk at Hogwarts can't we? I mean…it won't be like it would be here, but maybe we can set aside a few hours a week to meet and just talk?" When Remus looked at Harry, he continued. "I would really like that." He gave Remus a smile.

"So would I." Remus smiled back then slowly stood up. "I'm sorry, but I really do have to leave now Harry. I'm not too sure if I'll be in any shape to attend the welcoming feast this year. If it were up to Poppy, I wouldn't be able to attend the first week of lessons, let alone the welcoming feast," he said through a laugh. "So if you don't see me at the staff table, stop by my office as soon as you can."

"I'll do that Professor." Harry stood up and followed Remus into the hallway, leaning against the wall. "If I haven't told you already sir, thank you so much for all you've done for me these past few days. I know you didn't have to do any of it."

Remus turned around when he reached his trunk and faced Harry. "You're welcome Harry, but I know I didn't do as much as I should have. I know I wasn't there for you like I should have been." He looked down to his trunk trying to collect his thoughts, and continued in a pained and whispered voice. "It's partially…being in this house…with Sirius…I'm…" he stammered, unable to voice his thoughts. He looked at Harry dejectedly. "I'm so sorry. I _will_ find a way to make it up to you."

Harry looked at Remus knowing exactly what he was trying to get across. "That's alright Professor, I know what you mean." Harry thought back to the way he behaved since arriving at the house two days ago, and wasn't proud of it. "I haven't been myself either." He gave the tired looking man in front of him a small smile.

"I'm ashamed to say it Harry, but if it wasn't for Professor Snape, you wouldn't be doing as well as you are." Remus shuddered at the memory of that visit. "He actually had to remind me to give you your potions." He walked to the hallway, grabbed his trunk and began hauling it towards the stairs, then stopped abruptly and turned around. "Speaking of Snape, I almost forgot Harry. Professor Snape will be staying here for the remaining two days. I tried to get Dumbledore to let you stay with the Weasley's or have them come here, but he wouldn't agree to that. He said until school starts, you'd be safer in this house with Severus."

"No," Harry groaned throwing his head back and covering his face with his hands._ I was only joking when I said I'd rather live with Snape than be in this house. Now I have to have both?_

Remus laughed at Harry's reaction. "Unfortunately, as much as I detest the man myself, I'm afraid I have to agree with the Headmaster on this." Harry dropped his hands to his sides and looked at Remus in disbelief. "Harry, I know you two dislike each other, but it _is_ in your best interest. Believe me when I say he's as thrilled with this as you are."

"That, I can believe," he replied, knowing how much the potions master loathed him. "Luckily this house is big enough where I doubt I'll run in to him. But just to be on the safe side, I think I'll spend a majority of my time in my room."

"Good thinking," Remus said amused. "I wish you good luck Harry. I know you'll be fine with Severus." He looked at Harry one last time and noticed the dark circles under his eyes, his pale complexion, and that he was leaning heavily on the wall in the hallway. "And I hope you get better soon. Take care of yourself. And if you begin to feel worse, please let Severus know."

"That was one thing I was looking forward to," he said sarcastically. "I doubt it'll come to that, but I will, just for you." He gave Remus a teasing smile.

"I'm serious Harry. I don't want you having a relapse and coming to Hogwarts in worse shape than I'll be in."

"I know, I'm only joking." He became serious. "You take care of yourself too, Professor. See you soon."

"Goodbye Harry."

Harry watched Remus pull his wand out from inside his cloak and levitate his trunk, following it down the stairs. He laughed as he walked back into his room, wondering why Remus didn't just levitate his trunk down from his room in the first place. Sitting on his bed, Harry figured there was no point in going back to bed, even though he was still extremely tired. He didn't think he could get back to sleep even if he wanted to. And the thought of lying on the bed just staring at the yellowed ceiling didn't appeal to him either.

Deciding to get dressed instead, he crouched down in front of his trunk trying to find some clean clothes to wear. Throwing a muddy shoe aside, he realized that Lupin never told him when Snape would be arriving. He quickly got up and dashed down to the drawing room. Reaching the landing for the first floor, he called out to Remus. "Professor, you forgot to tell me when Snape would be coming." He entered the room and found it empty. Looking at the floor just in front of the fireplace, he spotted some floo powder glittering in the sunlight. Remus had left already. _Now I'll never know how much time I have to myself before that hooked nosed git gets here. Better enjoy it while I can._

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As always, let me know what you think. I love reviews. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

Wow. I've finally finished this chapter. This was actually supposed to be chapters 5 and 6 put together. But this part just would not write itself. It didn't turn out as well as I hoped, but I am satisfied with it. Hope it's not too bad.

Thanks for all the reviews. It means a lot to get them...even it is just a "good job" or "can't wait for the next chapter." :)

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**Chapter 6**

Later that afternoon after finishing a lunch of the last of the stew from the night before, Harry found himself wandering around the house he hated so much, looking for something to do. As he wandered, he found out that Snape had yet to show up. He ended up in the dining room on the ground floor and was a bit surprised to see it had changed since the last time he had been in it.

The room was made into a library. One wall of the large room held floor to ceiling bookshelves, stacked with books. The dining room table and chairs, which stayed in the room, were placed a few feet in front of the bookshelves. Across the room, on the right side of the fireplace, were two deep green armchairs with a table between them. The left side had a large, extremely comfortable, coffee-colored couch. It was situated so the back was to the bookshelves on the other side of the room and was facing the two chairs and fireplace.

Harry walked in and went over to the bookshelves. Running a finger along the books on one of the middle shelves, he glanced at the titles, not really paying attention to what he was seeing. His thoughts were miles away.

He couldn't believe that he'd only been alone in the house for about eight hours and was already bored out of his mind. When he had been locked in his room at the Dursley's he dreamed of the day he would have free reign of a house and do whatever he pleased. Now that he was in that situation, he couldn't stand it. He was slowly beginning to realize how Sirius must have felt last year, being stuck alone in this house. He had to have been miserable. Harry himself felt miserable, and alone, and it hadn't even been a day yet. But he did know that part of his misery was because of whose house he was stuck in.

Needing to keep his mind off Sirius, Harry dragged himself back up to his room. Just as he opened the door, two owls started pecking on the window. He let them in and removed the parchment they were carrying. As soon as their load was removed, the owls hooted their thanks and flew out the window. Harry then spent the next hour sitting on his bed responding to the letters he received; one from Hermione and Ron, who were both at the Burrow and were wondering how it was at Grimmauld Place, and the other from Hagrid, just saying hi.

* * *

Severus had met with Headmaster Dumbledore earlier that morning and learned he'd be a resident of Order headquarters for the next two days to keep an eye on Harry. In other words, he'd be babysitting the insufferable boy. He tried his best to get out of it, but Dumbledore wouldn't hear of it. He couldn't believe Dumbledore insisted he be the one to watch over Potter. The old man knew how much he loathed the boy.

Having taken his time packing, wanting to enjoy his last few hours without the presence of The-Boy-Who-Lived, he finally floo'd to Grimmauld Place mid-afternoon. He stepped out of the fireplace in the drawing room, infuriated. With a huff, he dropped some food off in the kitchen and brought his belongings into the empty bedroom on the first floor. After getting as settled as he wanted, which consisted off removing his cloak and leaving his clothes in his trunk by the foot of the bed, Severus went down to the library with a few journals and a book to read. He knew he'd more than likely be safe from bumping in to Harry there. The boy wouldn't step foot into a library.

* * *

Harry, finding absolutely nothing to keep himself occupied for the rest of the day and tiring of his room, ventured down to the library carrying his book bag. He decided to finish his homework and, if needed, re-write or expand on some of the essays he already completed. He walked into the room and was about to go over to the table when he spotted Severus sitting in one of the arm chairs by the fireplace, reading.

Coming to an abrupt stop, Harry's shoes squeaked loudly on the wood floor and his book bag slid from his shoulder down to his hand so it was almost grazing the floor. He stared at the potions master, wondering when the man arrived. He didn't recall hearing any noises that would have signaled someone else was in the house. He was really hoping he wouldn't see Snape at all until he got to Hogwarts.

At the sound of the squeak, Severus lifted his head from the journal he was reading and glanced at the entrance with a scowl. "Potter." As much as he didn't want a conversation with Harry, Severus was warned by Remus, just before he left Hogwarts that morning, that he still wasn't feeling well. "Did you need something?" he question bitterly, hoping the answer would be no.

Harry put his book bag back on his shoulder. "No, sir. Erm…I didn't know you were here yet. I just came down here to work on my homework. But I can do it in my room. Sorry for the distraction, I didn't mean to disturb you." Not wanting to be in the same room with the man, he turned to head back up to his room.

Even though the last thing Severus wanted was to be in the company of the teen, he knew Harry had more right to be in the room than he did. It was his godfather's house after all. "Potter, as much as I detest being in the same room as you, I do not want to try and read your scribble on an essay you wrote using the carpeted floor as a desk."

Harry stood in the doorway with his thumb hooked around the strap of his bag on his shoulder, contemplating what to do. _Snape just said, in a round about way, I could be in the same room with him? _The thought of being in the same room as Snape made his stomach twist in knots, but he knew he'd have an easier time with his homework if he could spread it out on the huge table. Looking at his professor's cold black eyes one last time, without a word he walked to the table at the other side of the room and took a seat facing the book shelves. He opened his book bag, took out his parchment, books, quills and ink, spreading them along the large table, and began his homework.

With a furrowed brow, Severus watched Harry walk to the table, surprised that he listened to him. He really thought Harry would behave like he normally did and venture off to his room just to spite him. Confused as to the boy's behavior, he quickly averted his eyes to the potions journal in his hands and decided that after he was done with the article he was reading, he would go to another room to finish his journal in peace.

Two hours and forty-five minutes later, Severus was still in the arm chair, reading a new potions book he picked up earlier that day, having finished reading the journal. It wasn't until he heard coughing coming from the other side of the room that he remembered Harry was in the room with him. He looked over and saw that Harry was bent over the table with one hand marking a place in a book and the other writing swiftly on a piece of parchment.

Even though Harry was lost in his homework and wasn't causing any trouble, the mere presence of the boy in the same room as him was enough to irritate Severus. He grabbed his book and journals and decided to head to the kitchen for dinner and then up to his room for the rest of the night.

By the time Harry finished the essay he was working on, it was dark outside. Putting his school supplies back in his book bag, he turned around and saw that he was alone in the room. He couldn't remember when Snape had left the room. Feeling a little hungry, we went down to the kitchen for a sandwich and brought it back up to his room to eat. After eating he decided to spend the rest of the night in his room.

* * *

Before dawn the next morning, Severus found himself wide awake. This was almost entirely due to his current residence in the house of Black, in the company of Harry. While having a quick breakfast down in the kitchen, thankfully alone, he decided to use his sleeplessness to his advantage and get a head start on the potions he needed to make before the start of term the next day. An added bonus to spending the day making potions would be he more than likely would not see Potter at all. With that thought he proceeded swiftly to the fireplace in the drawing room. Grabbing a handful of floo powder from the pot on the mantel, he threw it into the fireplace. When he saw the green flames, he stepped inside and stated, "Hogwarts, Professor Snape's quarters."

Within seconds he was standing just outside the fireplace in his personal quarters at Hogwarts, dusting the ash off his clothes. Wanting to enjoy his time without Harry, he slowly gathered the various items he would need for the potions. Even going slow, it only took him twenty minutes to gather everything on the table in his study. Not wanting to go back to Grimmauld Place immediately, he took a seat in one of his arm chairs and started leafing through a few journals he left on the table.

* * *

Harry awoke early-morning from a painful coughing fit. _Thought I was over this stupid cold,_ he thought after the coughing subsided_. It better not get worse though. The thought of having to go to that greasy haired git makes my skin crawl. _Rubbing a hand over his face, he remembered it would be the last day in this house and the last day with Snape. Excited at those thoughts, he took a shower and went down to the kitchen to get something to eat. He wasn't all that hungry, but knew he'd better eat something.

Very hesitantly he stepped into the cold, stone kitchen. If Snape was in the room, he didn't want his presence known and he'd go back to his room and wait until later to eat. But looking around, he saw the room empty. Letting out a deep breath, he walked fully into the room and made his breakfast. After eating and cleaning up after himself, he didn't want any reason for Snape to get irate, he figured he'd go back to the library and read through some of his books. He didn't want to get a head start on the year's lessons, but he really had no other means to keep occupied. And he desperately needed a way to forget where he was temporarily living.

Bringing a few books in his book bag down to the library, he decided against the table and instead opted for the couch to read. Reaching blindly into his bag after sitting down, the first book he pulled out was _Advanced Potion-Making_ by Libatius Borage. He was tempted to put it back in his bag, but he didn't. Instead, he stretched out across the couch with his head on a pillow, and began reading. He actually was finding some things interesting and wanted to remember them. He reached into his bag and pulled out a notebook and quill to take notes.

* * *

Severus had finished thumbing through the final journal and decided he'd better get back to Grimmauld Place. With Harry's talent for trouble, who knew what the boy would get into in such a short amount of time. As he placed his supplies in the two cauldrons and a bag, he glanced at the clock on the desk and was surprised that it had actually been hours since he arrived. To tell the truth, he hadn't planned on staying away as long as he had. He just hoped no one had gone looking for him at Order headquarters while he had been away. Pulling out his wand, he shrank the caldrons and bag and placed them in his pocket. He then stepped into the fireplace and floo'd back to Grimmauld Place.

Knowing the best location to brew his potions, he went straight to the library. He would have rather set up his lab in the room he was occupying so he wouldn't have any distractions, but there was not a table large enough to brew properly. Upon reaching the library, he was pleased to see that it was unoccupied. He figured Potter was either in his room or wandering about the house. He hoped that if the boy happened to come into the library and see him, he would decide to go somewhere else. Wanting to make sure he was busy for the majority of the day, Severus decided to brew his potions one at a time. He emptied one of the cauldrons on the table, set up everything for the first potion, and began to brew.

While waiting until he could add the last ingredient to the bubbling potion, which was in about twenty minutes, Severus decided to sit on the couch to relax. He grabbed his notebook with the list of potions he was to make and walked over to the couch. As he came around from the back, he saw that the couch was already occupied.

Harry was stretched out on the couch, lying on his back, asleep. The potions textbook he was reading earlier was open and tented over his chest. His notebook and quill lay on the floor where they fell out of his hand while it was hanging off the couch. "You always have to ruin my day don't you Potter?" he said, as he glared at the boy, even though he knew the boy could neither hear nor see him at the moment.

Needing to stay in the room to keep an eye on the potion, he settled into the arm chair across from the couch and flipped open the notebook to decide which potion to brew next. Seeing the next to the last potion on his list took over 4 hours from start to finish, he decided to work on that one next.

Hearing labored breathing coming from the couch, Severus looked over to Harry. It sounded like whatever the boy had caught, still wasn't gone from his lungs. And as he looked at the boy's pale and sweaty face, he could tell that his fever had probably come back as well. He wasn't going to admit that he was concerned, but he did know that the potions he had been given days before should have almost cured him. He was a bit puzzled as to why Harry was still having problems breathing.

As he sat there staring at the boy, he decided he wasn't going to do anything unless Potter asked, and he knew that would never happen. But as he saw Harry start to shiver, something made him get up and walk over to the couch. He removed the book from Harry's chest, tucking it under his arm and gently placed the blanket that had been on the back of the couch over Harry. He picked up the boy's notebook and quill from the floor, and shaking his head, went back to the chair as he removed the textbook from under his arm.

He sat down in the chair and placed the quill on the table. He was about to do the same with the notebook but wanted to see what Harry had been writing. Looking at the writing, he wasn't sure if he was reading it correctly. Harry was taking notes on potion making and techniques; potions that he hadn't even learned yet. Severus then looked at the textbook in his hand and was surprised to see that it was the book assigned to his sixth years. In shock that Harry was doing unassigned reading, especially potions, and had been taking notes, he glanced back at the boy asleep on the couch. That boy was confusing him, and that confusion was annoying him to no end.

Bored with just sitting in the chair with nothing to do but stare at the potion brewing across the room, Severus got up and went to the bookshelves. He had no intention of reading anything that the mutt Black had in the house, but wanted to see what kind of rubbish he left for Potter to read. After glancing at two shelves, he was surprised to see that the library's collection was pretty good. He could tell that some of the Order had stocked the shelves and recognized a few titles he knew Dumbledore was always recommending. Seeing a defense book that sounded interesting, Severus reluctantly removed it from its spot on the shelf and brought it back to the chair to read.

A chapter into the book, a puff of purple mist filled the air above the library table. Then the entire library smelled of lavender. Knowing he could add the last ingredient to the potion, Severus put down the book and finished up on the potion. After carefully bottling it, he began setting out the ingredients for the next, and longest to complete, potion.

Feeling hungry, and although knowing it was safe to leave the potion brewing without supervision, Severus dared not to do so with Harry in the room. Even in his sleep, Severus thought the boy could cause trouble. So instead he chose to go down to the kitchen to make some lunch and bring it back up to the library to eat, before starting on the potion.

As he looked around the kitchen and saw what little food there was, he was glad he had decided to bring some with him. He pulled out the makings for a sandwich and made two, then piled his plate with crisps. Picking up his plate, a cup, and a bottle of pumpkin juice, he brought everything back to the library and set it down on the table between the two arm chairs. He sat down and ate one of the sandwiches and some crisps before beginning on the second potion.

Slicing up the mandrake root and dumping it into the cauldron, he waited for the liquid inside to turn a shiny silver with light blue swirls, signaling all the potion had to do was simmer for the next three and a half hours. Once satisfied with its coloring, Severus walked back to the chair and continued reading the defense book.

Harry started to stir on the couch a half hour later. He opened his eyes and rubbed at them, trying to wake up. He couldn't believe he fell asleep. Again. That's all he seemed to be doing these past few days. He then looked down for his book and notebook and saw they were gone and then noticed he was covered with a blanket. Confused, he sat up and spotted Snape in the chair, absorbed in a book. He then saw his stuff sitting on the chair next to Snape. _Did Snape cover me with a blanket again?_ He shook his head at that thought and looked around the room, trying to figure out why the potions master was in the same room as him. He then saw the two cauldrons on the table behind him and realized Snape wouldn't go far if he was brewing potions.

Deciding to finish reading the chapter in the potions textbook he was in the middle of later, he reached in his bag for another book. As he sat back against the couch, he started coughing, deep coughs that made his lungs hurt.

At the sound, Severus looked over to Harry. He somehow seemed to be worse than the night he arrived. "Potter?" he questioned, his voice cold but a bit more worried than he liked.

"I'm…fine," he wheezed, then continued coughing, barely getting a breath in.

Severus remembered what he told himself earlier, but still found himself going to his room and coming back with the familiar open-topped box. He sat down on the couch next to Harry and tried to hand him a vial containing the sapphire blue potion.

"I'm fine," Harry said between harsh coughs and pushed the vial back at Severus.

"I know you were told to come to me when you began to feel worse, Potter," he spat, wishing he didn't have to bring that up.

"I don't feel worse," Harry protested, glaring at the man. "I don't need it professor." He continued coughing but was now doubled over in pain, with his head almost on his knees.

Severus shook a lock of dark lank hair from his face. "Potter, you will take this potion willingly or I will force it down your throat." He held out the vial again.

Severus' threatening tone made Harry flinch and he looked over at his professor to see his cold black eyes showing a hint worry and, if he was seeing right, fear. He reluctantly went to grab the vial from Snape's hand but the coughing overtook him and he brought his hand back to his chest.

Severus didn't like the sound of the cough at all. He was actually surprised that Harry wasn't coughing up blood. He hoped that the potion would calm the coughing down quickly. He didn't know what he would do if it got worse. Whatever Harry had, it was taking a strong liking to his lungs. He was beginning to feel a little nervous at the thought that whatever Potter had, was very serious and he probably wouldn't be able to help him.

The coughing subsided enough for Harry to take the vial from Severus' outstretched hand. As he reached for it, he thought he saw Severus' hand trembling, but decided it was eyes playing tricks on him. He quickly downed the thick liquid and handed the empty vial back to Severus without a word.

As the coughing slowly stopped, Severus watched as Harry slowly leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes. "You will let me know if the tightness in your lungs does not improve in half an hour, Potter." Harry looked at Severus and nodded his understanding.

Satisfied, Severus removed himself from the couch and went back to the chair he was occupying earlier, depositing the box on the table. Harry slowly started to stand up from the couch. Severus saw this out of the corner of his eye. "Where do you think you're going Potter? You need to stay put for the next half hour."

"I just want to go down to the kitchen and get something to eat. I'm a little hungry."

Severus sighed and scowled at the boy. He definitely didn't want to play maid to him. Remembering the second sandwich he made himself but hadn't eaten yet, and knowing he wasn't going to now due to the nauseated feeling in his stomach caused by Harry, he got up and grabbed the plate. "I've lost my appetite," he muttered, more to himself, as he handed it to the boy. "I suppose you want something to drink as well?"

"Erm….yes, sir," he mumbled, unsure if he should have said yes. "But I could go get…"

"Silence." He looked at the boy exasperated. "What did I just say Potter? You are not to move from this couch for the next half hour."

"I'm not a baby," Harry whispered under his breath as Severus walked away. "I think I know how to take care of myself."

Severus heard Harry's comments, but decided to ignore him. The brat was already giving him a headache and didn't want to make it worse by talking to him anymore than needed. Instead he filled his unused glass with pumpkin juice and handed it to Harry.

After being able to only finish half the sandwich, Harry placed the plate and glass on the floor and wrapped the blanket tightly around himself. He was shivering again. Knowing that he more than likely had a fever, he was debating whether or not to let Severus know. _If I let him know, he'll get angry. If I don't let him know and he finds out I didn't tell him, he'll get angry. I'm screwed no matter what. _He decided that he'd rather feel better and have Snape angry at him.

Harry glanced over at Severus. When he saw the man turn a page in the book, he decided to interrupt."Professor, do you happen to have anything for a fever? I think mine came back."

Clearly annoyed, and his facing showing his displeasure, Severus picked up his wand from the table next to him and pointed it at Harry.

Harry saw the look on Snape's face and became frightened, his face growing extremely pale, not knowing the intent of the potion master's drawn wand. "Forget about it sir," he said quickly. "I'm sorry I disturbed you."

"Potter, though there are times when I wish to see you suffer, and I will not deny that, this is not the case right now." Severus flicked his wand, and a few seconds later, the boy's temperature appeared in red glowing numbers at the tip.

Harry stared at Snape in shock, with his mouth hanging slightly open.

Severus reached into the box he had placed on the table and handed the fever reducing potion to Harry, which he gladly swallowed. Replacing the vial in the box, he noticed that was the last of the potion for Harry's cough and he would need to take more over the next few days. "Since you feel the need to deplete my stores of ingredients, Potter, it only seems logical for you to assist me in making the potion for your cough. You will more than likely need to continue taking it for a few days."

Harry thought this request extremely odd, and sat there staring at the potions master, who was again absorbed in his book. "But sir, I'm no good at potions, as you well know."

Severus put down his book and looked at Harry with a sneer. "I am well aware of your potion abilities. Or should I say lack of," he said icily.

Though he had just told the man the same thing, Harry still glared at Severus. He really didn't want his potion making skills to be reaffirmed. He tried the next thing he could think of to get out of making the potion. "You'll only lose more of your ingredients if I help, professor."

"You have no choice in the matter, Potter. Since my ingredients are going to be used for you, you are required to help." He looked back down at his book, but before reading, spoke one more time. "We shall wait until your half hour is up before beginning the potion. Until then, stay put and be quiet."

Harry groaned, still glaring at Severus, then turned his attention to his book bag. He picked up another book within and started reading.

At the half hour mark, Severus got up and went to the large table to check on his brewing potion and to make sure he had all the ingredients needed for Harry's potion. Seeing he had everything, he closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, preparing for the next hour he'd be in close quarters with Harry. Opening his eyes, he saw Harry wasn't at the table. But he should have expected that. He then turned toward to the couch. "Potter, do you still not know how to tell time?"

Harry was engrossed in the text he was reading, he wasn't aware of the time. At the sound of Severus' silky cold voice, Harry quickly put the book down and hopped off the couch. "Sorry sir. I got caught up in my reading."

Severus just looked at the boy as he made his way to the table, unwilling to believe he was interested in reading textbooks. When Harry stopped in front of the table, Severus took a calculating look at him. "Before we begin Potter, I need to be sure you won't pass out and waste even more of my ingredients."

_Guess that's Snape's way of asking me how I feel._ "I'm fine professor. The potion worked."

Severus gave a slight, almost non-existent, nod and turned toward the empty cauldron. "Begin by filling up the potion with the water over there. Then when you're done, grate the ginger root and finely chop the eucalyptus leaves."

"Okay." Harry then got to work immediately.

Severus watched Harry dump the bowl of water into the cauldron and then begin grating the ginger. "Use the smaller side of the grater, Potter. The ginger root shavings need to be extremely small." After seeing Harry nod, he went over to the cauldron, lit the fire underneath, and began adding ingredients.

Forty-five minutes later, with the potion almost complete, Severus and Harry were surprised at how easy it was to work with each other. Severus had made only a few insulting comments to Harry, and Harry, surprisingly, barely made any mistakes with the potion.

Harry finished the counter-clock-wise stirring of the potion and looked to Severus. "What is the next step professor?"

Severus placed a half dozen empty vials on the table and turned to Harry. "That is all Potter. I can handle the rest. You can go back to whatever it was you really wanted to be doing."

"Thank you sir." Harry turned around and headed for his book bag, intent on grabbing all his school supplies and getting out of the room as fast as he could. As he sat on the couch to put his books back in the bag, he realized that he didn't really want to leave. Even if the professor was busy, and he couldn't stand the man, he was still in the same room as Harry. At that moment, he really didn't want to go up to his room and be all alone. Instead, he found himself sitting back on the couch reading the book he had been reading before making the potion.

Severus finished adding the final ingredient to the potion and waited the five minutes before it could be bottled. After bottling the potion, he filled the cardboard box with the vials and went to place it on the table by the arm chairs. As he rounded the couch, he was surprised to see that Harry was still in the room, lying on the couch reading a textbook. Severus scowled at the boy and went back to check on the other potion he was in the middle of making, before taking a seat at the table and reading more of the defense book.

Hours later, after the potion was complete and bottled, Severus decided to head down to the kitchen to make himself some dinner. He'd then go back to the library and make the remaining potions. Upon walking into the kitchen, his eyes were drawn to the table where he saw a pot of soup and some bread and butter set out on the table. Hearing water running from the sink, he turned to the left and saw Harry at the sink, washing out a bowl and cup.

After drying and putting away the bowl and cup, Harry turned around to go back to his room and hoped to not run in to Snape. But he spotted the man in the doorway. "Professor." He nodded to the kitchen table. "I know you probably won't touch it, but I only know how to make a pot of soup not just a bowl. I left everything out in case you wanted some. I'll put it all away in an hour." Without waiting for a response, Harry slid past Severus and ran up to his room.

Severus walked into the kitchen and stared at the doorway after Harry. Knitting his brow, he turned back to the table. Surprised that Harry would do such a thing, he took the empty bowl on the table and ladled some of the soup into it, determining whether or not he wanted to risk his life by eating food the boy made. Buttering a piece of bread, he sat down and began to eat. Amazed that the soup was actually quite good, he continued eating while contemplating what came over Harry. Deciding to give that up after a few minutes, he finished eating while scanning the day's Daily Prophet he left on the table earlier that morning. After eating, he placed the leftovers in the refrigerator and cleaned his bowl. He then proceeded back to the library to complete the final potions.

Finishing his potions late that night, Severus cleaned up, and packed everything away, leaving the items on the table instead of bringing them to his room. He then went to bed, wanting to leave the house tomorrow morning as soon as he could.

Just like the morning before, Severus was up before dawn. He quickly took a shower and got dressed. Grabbing his trunk, he went to the drawing room to gather his caldrons, potions and other items. He shrunk them all and stuck them in his pocket. Before stepping over to the fireplace, he quickly wrote a note on a piece of parchment Harry had left in the room. With a spell, he made the note go to Harry's room and land beside his glasses on the night table. He then stepped into the fireplace and floo'd to Hogwarts, grateful to be out of that blasted house and Harry's company.

Bright sunlight filtered through the bedroom window streaming on Harry's head, waking him up. Squinting his eyes, he slowly got up and put on his glasses. Smiling that he'd be leaving the horrid house and going home to Hogwarts today, he went to stand up. He then spotted a note on the bedside table. Recalling that it hadn't been there last night, he picked it up and unfolded it.

_Potter,_

_The potion you assisted with yesterday is in the cardboard box in the library. Take one vial every day until the tightness in your lungs disappears, or the potion is gone. Mr. Weasley will be here at 10am to take you to Kings Cross Station, so be ready. Make sure you have packed everything, though with your incompetence you will more than likely leave something behind. _

_SS_

Harry glared the letter and ripped it up, throwing the pieces in the trash bin near the wardrobe. He then took a shower and got dressed. Glancing at the clock in his room, he saw he only had a half hour until Mr. Weasley would be arriving. He spent that half hour going through all the rooms in the house making sure he had all his belonging packed and ready. At five minutes to ten, he brought everything down to the library. As he made his way down the stairs, he ran into Mr. Weasley.

"Hi Harry. Ready to go?" the red-haired man questioned.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley. I'm all set."

"Great, let's go."

Harry began lugging his trunk as he followed Mr. Weasley down the stairs toward the front door.

"Let me take that for you Harry." Mr. Weasley took hold of Harry's trunk and dragged it out of the house into the waiting car outside, with Harry following behind. He saw Harry look inside the car for other occupants. "The rest of the family is on their way to the station already. There wouldn't have been enough room in this car for all of us. Plus, since I'm new at driving this muggle contraption, I didn't want to have a lot of noisy people with me."

Harry nodded and got in the car.

"Ready Harry?"

Harry took one last look at the house as it slowly disappeared from the row of dilapidated houses. "Yeah," he said thickly.

Mr. Weasley gave a sympathetic glance at Harry and started the car, driving them both to Kings Cross Station.

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Hope you're all enjoying the story and aren't too bored. LOL Please hit the little review button. :)


	7. Chapter 7

This chapter has been revised since I first posted it last night. One reviewer pointed out a huge mistake in my continuity and I've just fixed it.

I'm sorry it's taken a while to update this story. I was caught up in reading fanfiction instead of writing it. :) Anyway...here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 7**

Mr. Weasley followed Harry onto Platform 9 ¾. Although Harry truly liked Mr. Weasley, he really wanted to be out of the man's company. When two little kids and their mother walked between them, Harry took the opportunity and got lost in the crowd.

Watching the families all around him saying goodbye to each other as he sluggishly walked along the platform, Harry couldn't help but think that's what he desperately wanted; a family to say goodbye to at the start the school year. He had a little taste of it the prior year when against everyone's wishes Sirius, in his animagus form, went to see him off. He knew Sirius in human form wouldn't have been able to say goodbye at Kings Cross, but he still could have had a goodbye with someone that actually cared about him. But now he'd never have that. He sometimes wished he never met Sirius or found out that he was his godfather. All his hopes for a family were destroyed in the blink of an eye.

He shook his head sadly and took a deep breath, trying to rid the depressing thoughts from his mind. He knew it wouldn't do any good to dwell on things he'd never have. With one last longing look at the families down on the platform, he climbed the steps and boarded the Hogwarts Express.

Harry passed many open compartments that were crammed with kids, all discussing loudly what they did over the summer. He didn't really want to discuss anything that happened to him over the summer, mostly because whenever he thought of the summer, he thought of Sirius, and he was trying to forget the pain. He also still felt out of sorts from the past few days at Grimmauld Place and wasn't feeling completely well yet. He definitely didn't want to discuss any of it with anyone right now. The only thing he _did_ want was his friends.

Harry continued down the cars in search of Ron and Hermione. Walking by one of the open compartments, a hand flew out and grabbed his arm. Before he knew what was happening, he was being pulled inside the compartment.

"Hey Harry," said the voice who belonged to the person who grabbed him. "How was your summer? Do anything fun? How'd you do on your OWLs?" After getting his bearings, he looked up and saw his classmate, Seamus. Not wanting to have a conversation or to stay with the group of fifth and sixth years, Harry gave a vague answer. "My summer was like normal. Sorry, but I promised to find Ron and Hermione when I got on board." He turned back to the compartment door to leave. "See you at the feast." He then rushed out of the compartment and continued down the train.

Moving on down towards the end of the train, he found the compartments were slowly becoming emptier. He hadn't found Ron or Hermione but figured they hadn't gotten on board yet. So instead he searched for an empty compartment, finding one in the last car of the train.

Sighing, he stowed his book bag on the overhead shelf, closed the compartment door, and sat down next to the window. Just after sitting down, the train gave a jerk then started on its way to Hogwarts. He put his head in his hand and stared out the window watching the scenery go by; his thoughts mostly on what a horrible summer he had. He also couldn't wait until he could talk to Remus. He hadn't realized how much he missed the man's company and warm smiling face.

Lost in his thoughts, Harry jumped when the compartment door opened a while later. Tearing his eyes off the passing scenery, he turned towards the door, getting his breathing under control.

"Hi Harry," came the voice of Hermione. She noticed his wide eyes and fast breathing. "I'm sorry I scared you." She sat down across from Harry and looked to Ron, who was trailing in after her. "With all the noise _he _was making," she nodded to Ron, "I'm surprised you didn't hear us coming. You could probably have heard him from Hogwarts."

Ron's face turned a light shade of pink as he sat down next to Hermione. "It's not my fault that Malfoy and his goons tried to trip me as I passed." He gave a smile to Hermione and looked at Harry. "Hullo Harry."

"Hi guys." Harry looked at his two best friends and noticed they didn't have their bags or anything else with them. "Erm…do you two already have a compartment for us? I didn't see you two when I got on board."

Hermione and Ron looked at each other, confused. "Harry," Hermione began, "Ron and I are Prefects, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Harry said, disappointed then shrugged. He'd forgotten that. "Sorry I forgot. Guess I'll see you two at the feast then," he said rather shortly. Not waiting for a reply, he returned his gaze to the window.

Ron and Hermione sat there just staring at their friend. Without Harry having to say it, they both knew that he wanted them there with him the entire ride. Unfortunately that wasn't possible this year.

Hermione stood up. "I really wish we could stay here longer Harry," she said quietly. "But we're late as it is. We were supposed to go to the Prefects car first thing, but we wanted to see you first." She waited for a response, but never got one. "Goodbye Harry. See you at the feast." She then turned and headed out of the car.

Ron followed behind her. "Bye mate. See you in a few hours." He then stepped out of the compartment and closed the door behind him.

After hearing the door close, Harry glanced to see if they indeed left him. Seeing the empty compartment, he gave a sad sigh and returned to staring out the window. He always looked forward to his trip to Hogwarts and spending the hours just having fun and talking. He knew he wouldn't do a lot of talking or having as much fun as he used to on this trip, but he still wanted to be around his friends. He was tired of being alone. It just made him think more about the past few months.

A while later he started coughing. He rolled his eyes once he stopped. He was sick of being sick. Not wanting to wait to see if it got worse, he opened his bag and took a vial of the potion he and Professor Snape had made the day before. About ten minutes later, he began to feel drowsy. _A possible side affect of the potion? Or perhaps Snape had put in a light sleeping draught? _Either way, he was too tired to contemplate the reason. He slowly lay down on the bench and within a few minutes, was asleep.

Harry stirred from his sleep a little over an hour later. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted with two blurry figures on the other side of the compartment. Hoping they were Ron and Hermione, he quickly sat up, rubbed his eyes, and then went in search of his glasses that had fallen off while he slept. Putting his glasses on, he saw the blurry figures slowly coming into focus were unfortunately Ginny and Neville. The two were lost in a game of wizard chess and hadn't noticed Harry stirring. "How long have you two been in here?" he asked them, breaking the silence.

Ginny gave a squeak of surprise at the sudden sound. "Hi Harry. We haven't been here long. Maybe about twenty minutes or so." She watched Harry raise his hand to his mouth to cover a yawn. "I hope we didn't wake you. We tried to be quiet."

"Don't worry about it Ginny. You two didn't wake me."

"Good." Ginny looked down to the chess board. "We haven't gotten anywhere with this game Harry. How about the three of us play exploding snap?"

Harry looked to Neville and then back to Ginny. "You two don't mind quitting your game?" He watched as Ginny and Neville looked at each other then shook there heads in the negative. "Brilliant. Let's play." He'd do anything to keep his mind off of summer.

The three spent the remaining trip playing exploding snap and wizard chess. Before they knew it, they had arrived and were boarding the carriages to Hogwarts. Harry had searched for Ron and Hermione, but couldn't find them, so he ended up in a carriage with Ginny, Neville, Luna, and a second year no one knew.

As Harry entered the Great Hall, he gave a huge smile, glad to be back to where he considered home. He took at seat at the Gryffindor table and was joined a few minutes later by Ron and Hermione. The three were getting ready to talk when the first years walked in and the sorting began.

After the sorting was complete, Harry looked up to the staff table in search of Remus. He didn't see him, but spotted an empty seat next to Professor Snape. He was a bit disappointed to not see him up there, but fully understood. He just hoped that dinner would be over soon so he could go visit Remus. He was way too eager to see the DADA professor.

Before dinner was served, Professor Dumbledore got up and announced that Remus Lupin would be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher again this year. Once all the clapping and cheering ended, Hermione, Ron and Harry started talking about their OWLs and what classes they were taking this year. Dinner was served a few minutes later and they stopped most of their conversation to eat.

Hermione took a sip of pumpkin juice, set her cup down, and looked to Harry. "Harry, a few of us were talking over the summer and we'd like to continue with…" she paused, looked around the table, and continued softer, "…we'd like to continue with the DA. If what happened at the Ministry is any indication of what we'll be up against, we definitely would like to continue."

Harry paled at the mention of what happened at the Ministry. He knew Hermione wasn't speaking about what happened to Sirius in particular, but that was all he could think about. He got angry with Hermione for bringing it up, for bringing all the memories of his godfather to the front of his mind. A painful lump formed in his throat and he began to feel a prickling behind his eyes. His need to go find Remus increased drastically, and he was shocked by it.

He looked up at the staff table one last time to make sure the man wasn't there. After seeing his seat still empty, his eyes locked with the cold black eyes of Professor Snape. Everything he was feeling increased tenfold while staring at the Potions Master. He felt that man was part of the reason Sirius was dead.

Needing to get out of the Great Hall immediately, Harry got up from the table and with a quick word to Ron and Hermione telling them he'd see them in the common room later, left to go see Professor Lupin. Harry ran up to the second floor and arrived at Lupin's office.

He knocked on the door to Remus' office and tried to push back his emotions. A few seconds later, the door was being opened by Remus. "Oh, hi Harry. I wasn't expect—" He stopped talking as he took in Harry's erratic breathing and pale complexion. He also noticed that the boy looked like he was on the verge of crying, something that totally shocked the man. Harry didn't even look like that after Sirius fell through the veil. "Harry, are you alright?"

Harry tried to control his breathing. "I'm fine professor," he lied between ragged breaths. "I just ran up here from the Great Hall."

Remus could tell Harry was upset about something and wasn't fine, but didn't want to push it. "Why don't you come in and let's go to my study and get comfortable." Harry nodded his consent then followed Remus through his office and into the study in his private quarters. "Take a seat on the couch while I light a fire in the fire place."

Harry sank down on one side of the plush dark blue couch as Remus lit the fire. He put his elbows on his knees and pressed his hands over his eyes, trying to stop from crying. He hadn't cried over Sirius yet and he wasn't about to start now.

After lighting the fire, Remus stood up and took in the sight of Harry, sitting on the couch. He gave a sad sigh while walking over to the couch and sat down a little bit away from Harry. "Harry," he said quietly. "What happened?" Remus wasn't expecting an answer, but decided to ask anyway. After all, the boy did seek him out instead of finishing dinner.

After a few seconds, Harry was satisfied that he had his emotions under control. He removed his hands from his face and clasped his hands together, elbows still on his knees. He felt his professors gaze on him but kept his eyes focused on his hands in front of him. "Sorry professor. I just got angry and upse—," he stopped abruptly. He had been trying to deny that feeling and didn't want Remus to know how he really felt. "I just had to get out of there. Everyone was talking like nothing happened at all while at the Ministry and didn't even take in to account what I might be feeling. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, but it would have been nice if they considered how I would be affected about what they were saying." He took a frustrated breath, having a difficult time trying to vocalize what he was feeling. "That's not coming out right. I mean…"

"Harry don't worry, I know what you are trying to say. Believe me. I can't speak for your friends Harry, but I know that it's hard for others to realize that even the most minor of things could bring upsetting memories. Just know they wouldn't intentionally hurt you." Harry finally looked to Remus and seeing the heartbreaking and miserable expression on Harry's face, he gave the boy a sad smile.

Harry returned the smile. "Thanks Professor." His eyes then wandered over his professor. He took in the man's tired appearance and fresh cuts on his face. After really seeing Remus, he thought it might be better to come back in a few days when Remus had time to recover from his transformation even though he really wanted to talk to him. He didn't realize how much just this little talk, if you could call it that, helped him so far. "I should go," Harry stated, and then got up quickly.

"No Harry," Remus stated, surprised at the quick change in Harry's attitude. "You don't need to go. You can stay as long as you like."

"I'd love to stay and talk all night, but I know you must be exhausted. I'm sorry I disturbed you tonight. I just needed..."

"Harry, stop apologizing," Remus interrupted, then stood up also. "I asked you to come tonight, remember? I've been looking forward to your visit since I left you."

"I know." He gave Remus a smile. "I just want you to feel one hundred percent better, or as close to it as you can be tomorrow for class. I can't wait to see what we'll be learning."

Remus laughed. "Fine. But you must promise you'll be back soon so we can talk."

"You don't have to ask me twice." Harry turned and started heading towards Remus' office and the door out to the corridor, with Remus following behind. He reached the door and turned around. "Goodnight Professor."

Remus opened the door for Harry and held it open. "Goodnight Harry." Harry smiled one more time at Remus and left for the Gryffindor tower. Remus stood at the door watching Harry's retreating form. He was glad to see that Harry's mood improved with just the short visit. After Harry disappeared from sight, Remus closed the door and went back to his personal quarters.

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Please let me know what you think. And thanks for all the reviews on my previous chapters. I try to respond to all of them, but please forgive me if I don't. :)


	8. Chpater 8

I want to apologize for the delay in getting this next chapter up. I'm currently in the process of purchasing a condo, getting ready for the move, and trying to figure out what I need to do to the new place before I move in. So unfortunately my thoughts haven't been on Harry Potter. O. I know, there's something wrong with that. LOL

I'm sorry this is a short chapter, but I wanted to post something for you all. I knew that if I didn't post this now, it might be another month or so before I was able to update. I couldn't let you wait that long. At least I had most of this already written up. :)

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**Chapter 8**

September and October were pretty much uneventful for Harry. His cough ended about three days into the new term, much to his satisfaction. He also found that his friendship with Hermione and Ron was changing. Not only were their Prefect duties taking up a lot of their time, he noticed that when he was around them, they were mostly too caught up in each other. Because of this, Harry spent more time with Neville and Ginny.

It was near the end of September when Ginny brought up the slight change in Harry's appearance. He noticed some small changes, like his hair color and the shape of his face, but didn't think it was that noticeable. In the back of his mind, he was wondering what was causing the changes. He hoped it wasn't yet another consequence from his link with Voldemort.

Harry also met with Remus more often and learned quite a bit about his parents. In his talk tonight, before heading to the Halloween Feast, he let things slip about his life with the Dursley's. He hadn't planned on discussing any of it, but Remus had a way of making him talk. Luckily Remus didn't ask a lot of questions, and he was in a pleasant mood for the celebration in a few hours.

Seated, unfortunately, next to Remus at the staff table, Severus looked around the Great Hall. The floating jack-o-lanterns, bobbing slowly above the house tables, were still giving off an orange-yellow glow while bats continued flitting around the room. He noticed the students at the tables enjoying the Halloween Feast had dwindled down quite a bit. Looking up and down the table he was sitting at, he found there were more than enough teachers to watch over the students left in the room. Wanting some time for himself, he quickly slipped out the side door of the Great Hall and went down to his private quarters in the dungeons.

Giving a long sigh as he closed and charmed his door locked, he walked to the dining area to prepare his nightly cup of tea. Walking past his desk in his living room, he spotted a small brown-paper wrapped box. He didn't recall seeing it before the Feast, but continued to make his tea anyway. Carrying the cup of tea, he went back to his desk and set the cup down. He picked up the box. Written in a handwriting he recognized from many years ago, was his name.

He quickly placed the box on the desk, and beginning to feel a bit shaky, sat down. He looked at his name written on the box again and stared at it in confusion for a few minutes. He couldn't understand why he'd be receiving a package from this person. Slowly he tore off the paper and opened the cardboard box. After removing some packing material, he pulled out a thick envelope. Under the envelope and cradled in more packing material, was a small, red, heart-shaped glass bottle with a gold stopper sealing the contents. He placed the envelope on the desk, picked up the bottle and brought it up close to his face, trying to discern what it held inside. Not being able to tell, he carefully placed it back in the box, and turned his attention to the envelope.

He flicked the hair out of his eyes, nervously picked up the envelope and flipped it over so he was looking at the back of it. With a shaky hand he slipped a finger under the flap and unsealed the envelope. He pulled out the four pieces of parchment inside and unfolded them. He then began to read the letter written by someone he never thought he'd hear from ever again.

_My Dearest Severus,_

_I don't even know where to begin. But I'm going to assume that if you're reading this, Harry is alive and James and I have died. I just wish everything you sacrificed for Harry and I wasn't for nothing._

_I know you haven't any idea what I am writing about so please let me explain. The red heart-shaped bottle that was included with this letter contains some of your memories. Your _real_ memories. When you're done reading this letter, _please_ remove the altered memories and replace them with your real memories. You'll understand a little later, I promise._

_After we graduated from Hogwarts, I decided to spend time with you, even though I was seeing James. Over the months, we grew closer than we ever were while at Hogwarts, when we had to hide our friendship. I soon stopped seeing James because I was falling in love with you. I knew you were a Death Eater, but I couldn't tell my heart to stop loving you. _

_You proposed to me in September 1979, and we decided to get married in late March 1980. In November of 1979, we were both surprised and delighted to find out that I was pregnant with our first child. I can still see the smile on your face and hear the joy in your voice when two seconds after you found out we were to have a son, you shouted that his name was to be Harry._

_In early March 1980, just a few weeks before we were to be married, you had overhead the Prophecy. After telling the Prophecy to the Dark Lord and finding out that he figured the child to be Harry, you came to me hysterical. You said that because you were a Death Eater we couldn't get married; that the Dark Lord could get to Harry easier if it was known that he was a Death Eater's son._

_After discussing all our options, you had made a decision all on your own. Knowing that James and I at one point loved each other, you met with both of us. You pleaded with the two of us to get married and for James to raise Harry and love him like his own son, even though it was killing you to give up your family. I didn't agree with you then, and I still don't. But you didn't want to put all of us in terrible danger. You wanted to keep me and Harry safe._

_The next day you begged me to alter your memory of the time we were together after Hogwarts up until that day. You said that you couldn't live with the pain of giving up Harry and myself and didn't want to go on living knowing the love you felt for us. A tiny bit of you also felt this would be a good way to hide any information from the Dark Lord since you were still working on mastering Occlumency. _

_I'm sorry, my love, but this is where I couldn't comply fully with your wishes. Before I finished the memory altering spell on you, and without you knowing, I made a copy of your real memories and placed them in the heart-shaped bottle. I didn't want you or Harry to go through life not knowing the truth. I knew that if James and I didn't make it out of this war alive, that I would want Harry to live with his father, his _real_ father; the one who _truly _loved him. James loved him yes, but not like you did for the few months before he was born, before your memory was altered. I wanted Harry to know the truth of how much you sacrificed for him._

_After I altered your memory and before Harry was born, I cast a charm on him to make him look like James and myself. The length of the charm I chose was sixteen years. When Harry turns sixteen, the charm will slowly fade and his true appearance will begin to show. As much as I wanted Harry and you, Severus, to know the truth, I wanted to make sure that Harry would be old enough to understand it. That is the reason you're receiving this letter now, and not years earlier. I could have cast the charm to last all of Harry's life, but I just couldn't. I'm sorry I wasn't able to follow your wishes to have you forget for the rest of your life._

_Knowing that you might not acknowledge the truth, with the altered memories you were given, and because Harry would need to know the truth after he turned sixteen, I wrote similar letters as yours for Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Professor Dumbledore. If Remus wasn't alive to receive the letter, one would be sent to Sirius, and so on. And in the event you were not alive when Harry turned sixteen, the same would apply only they would be receiving the letter, along with the bottle of your memories._

_Severus, I know you're finding this hard to believe, but it is true. The memories in the bottle, _your _memories, prove it. I'm begging you, please talk to our son. Let him know the truth, and the real you. Not the you that came about because of your altered memories. Please let Harry know he still has a loving father. And please change your altered memories with the real ones; for you and for Harry. Just seeing your memories won't be good enough. They'll only be like snapshots. You need to replace your memories. When you replace them, your feelings and emotions will return as well._

_I never stopped loving you Severus, even after James and I were married. You don't know how hard it was for me to look at our Harry and not think of you. He may have looked like James, but I could always see you in him. Please take care of our son, Severus._

_Love Always,_

_Lily_

Severus put down the letter, quickly got up from the desk, and started pacing his living room, black robes billowing every time he pivoted around. At the far end of the room, he slowly turned around while in thought, then stalked back to the desk and looked at the letter, a scowl forming on his pale face. There was no way in hell Dumbledore's arrogant 'golden boy' was his son.

"Who would _dare_ play this type of trick on me," he snarled to the empty room. "This is pure rubbish." He picked up the glass bottle and narrowing his eyes, stared at the contents to see what was really in the bottle. He shook it and watched the contents slosh inside. "Probably just sugar water." He put the bottle back in the box and threw the letter in on top.

He quickly grabbed the box to dispose of it. He walked in front of the fireplace and was ready to throw the entire box in to the roaring fire. He had the box just inches from the flames when he suddenly stopped. His breathing came faster as he stared at the box. Something deep inside was telling him that it wasn't a joke. He gave an angry huff, turned around from the fireplace and hid the box in the far corner of the room; the darkest space he could find. He couldn't get rid of it, but he didn't want to see it either.

After removing the box from his sight, Severus grabbed his now cold tea and went to the dining area. He threw the tea in the sink, rinsed the cup out and decided to fill it instead with fire whiskey. After reading that letter he definitely needed a stronger drink than tea. With his drink in hand, he took a seat by the fireplace. He tried to clear his mind of the letter in between sips. The farther along in his drink he went, the less he thought about the box and its contents; though it never completely vanished from his thoughts.

Hours and almost three-quarters of a bottle of fire whiskey later, Severus couldn't stand it. He slammed the cup on the table next to his chair and stalked over to the box. He crouched down and looked at it a few seconds before picking it up. He walked back over to the chair and set the box on the table.

Reaching in the box, he took the letter out and read over it again, twice. "This has to be that werewolf's doing," Severus spat. "Potter is not and will never be my son. I don't care what this letter says, I don't want to…" Severus stopped his rambling as he fixed his eyes on Lily's signature. He stared at 'Lily' like it was the only thing keeping him alive. Like it was the only way he was to get oxygen to breathe. He then realized there was no way this letter could have been written by anyone but Lily. She had a certain way she wrote her name whenever she wrote to him. No one knew of it as far as he knew. And he doubted anyone could imitate it if they did. But he needed to be sure.

Severus pulled out his wand from his robes. He pointed it at the letter. "Ostendo sum scriptor." A blue mist floated out the tip of his wand and formed the words Lily Potter. He let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and just stared at the letter.

Lily did indeed write the letter in his hand. No one knew the charms that he and Lily used on all their correspondence. After receiving a fake note early on while at Hogwarts, Lily found a charm they would each use on any letters they wrote and received. This charm, along with a certain incantation, would reveal the true scribe of any written document. It had come in handy on more than one occasion in the past. He never thought he'd have to use it ever again.

Severus sunk down in the chair while still holding the letter. He couldn't take his eyes off Lily's name. With his free hand, he grabbed his cup from the table and took a drink. While holding the cup with his arm resting on the chair's arm rest, the most horrible thought he ever had slammed to the forefront of his mind. The cup dropped from his hand and smashed into pieces on the stone floor. "Potter is my son."

Not wanting to believe it, but needing to see it for himself, he set the letter down on the table and picked up the heart-shaped bottle. He ignored the broken cup and puddle of fire whiskey on the floor next to him and quickly walked to his pensive in the other room. He removed the gold stopper and poured the contents into the pensive.

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Remember, I live on reviews. Please let me know what you think. :)


	9. Chapter 9

I haven't abandoned you!! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update this. To make a long story short...I purchased a condo and escrow took almost 2 months instead of 1, I could have lost said condo 3 times during escrow, and I was almost homeless because of escrow. Too much stress to think about anything else. But, now I've moved in to my new place and am now back to writing. Yea!!

I had a part of this next chapter already written out months ago, but I think the time between chapters may have affected my writing. Hopefully it's still up to par with what I've written in the past.

Anyways, now that I'm done rambling, here's the next chapter...

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**Chapter 9**

Severus' face was less than a quarter inch away from his pensive when he stood upright abruptly, his black eyes never leaving the swirling silvery-white contents inside the pensive. He couldn't believe he was foolish enough to almost expose himself to an unknown substance. Sure, the letter was written by Lily, but who was to say she wasn't coerced into writing what she did. And how was he to know that the substance inside the bottle was really his memories. It could have been anything.

He took his wand out of his cloak and with a flick, put the memories back into the bottle. He'd analyze them in the morning. He was currently too tired, too wound up, and, with a look at the smashed glass and almost empty bottle of fire whiskey, definitely too drunk to think clearly. Severus placed the heart-shaped bottle back in the box and placed the letter on top. He then put the box back in the dark corner of the room and retired to bed.

The next morning came too quickly and Severus awoke with a pounding headache. Glancing at the clock on the opposite wall of his bed, he realized he had overslept. He quickly got dressed and headed to the Great Hall for breakfast. Walking through his study on the way out of his quarters, he spotted the pieces of broken glass still lying in a puddle on the floor next to the chair. He vaguely remembered what happened the night before, but in his befuddled mind, thought it was more than likely just an alcohol related dream.

While muttering under his breath about Dumbledore and his stupid requirement for staff to attend all meals, Severus stalked up to the Great Hall. He arrived at the staff table just as breakfast was being served. He barely had a chance to sit down and pour himself a cup of much needed coffee when he felt a presence behind him. He set his cup on the table and turned around, eyes meeting those of the headmaster. "Headmaster," he said in a forced polite voice. The headmaster wanting to talk to him this early in the day was never good.

"Severus, my boy, would you mind meeting in my chambers this afternoon at 3 pm?" Dumbledore paused for a moment and his eyes drifted off of Severus. "I have an important matter to discuss with you."

Severus followed the old man's gaze to the Gryffindor table and his eyes landed on Potter. He rolled his eyes and groaned inwardly. Of course everything had to do with Potter. When did it not?

At the sight of Harry laughing and eating with his friends, Severus started to feel nauseous; his thoughts going back to last night; his nightmare? He therefore turned his attention back to Dumbledore. "I will be there," he ground out. "If you'll excuse me Headmaster, I just remembered I have a few things to finish up before classes this morning." Without waiting for a response, Severus grabbed his cup of coffee and stood up.

"Of course. Have a good day, Severus." With a smile and twinkling blue eyes, Dumbledore went back to his seat.

Severus, of course, didn't have anything to finish up before classes started. It was the thought that, once again, Potter was causing him more aggravation that made him leave the Great Hall and return to his quarters with coffee in hand.

As he walked through his study and stopped at his desk, his eyes narrowed and fell to the box in the dark corner, they then drifted to the quarter-full bottle of fire whiskey, the smashed glass on the floor, and the now dried sticky puddle of fire whiskey. He ran a hand over his face and closed his eyes briefly. It was then that he came to the realization that last night was not some alcohol induced nightmare. It was real!

Still standing by the desk, he finished the last of the coffee and roughly set the cup down for one of the house-elves to take away. He removed his wand from his cloak and cleaned up the mess from last night. He couldn't believe that Potter still had the ability to cause devastation even when he wasn't in a room.

Once the study was clean, he took a seat in one of the chairs by the fireplace. Glancing around, Severus thought he hid the box well enough last night. However his eyes came to rest on it seconds later. He let out a deep breath and shook his head. Seeing the box, he decided he didn't want to think about the letter or memories and especially what they meant. He wanted to forget they even existed. After all, he couldn't stand Harry and Harry couldn't stand him. Why would he even think he could be the brat's father? He was in no way related to the boy. If he was the only one to know the truth, then he was fine. He would definitely never be the one to let the truth out.

Severus quickly retrieved the box and stashed it in one of the lower shelves in the closet he used to store his rare potion ingredients.

Glad to be rid of that burden, he glanced at the clock on his desk. Seeing his first class started in five minutes, he grabbed a stack of papers from one of the piles sitting on the desk chair and stalked out of his quarters to his classroom.

Running a little late for his second class because of a last minute trip to the loo, Harry quickly walked in to the Potions classroom. Before taking his seat next to Ron, he looked up to the front to see where Snape was. He didn't have to look far, since the moment he raised his eyes he met the steely cold glare of the Potions Master standing no more than two feet in front of him.

"I see you finally decided to grace us with your presence Potter," Severus spat. "If you're through interrupting class, I suggest you quickly take your seat."

Angry at Severus, Harry walked over to his seat and threw himself into his chair, pulling out his parchment and book with as much noise as he could muster. He was late by only two minutes for god sake.

With one last glare at Harry, Severus whirled around, with robes billowing, and headed to the front of the class. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," he threw an irritated glance at Harry, "I expect you all to be able to brew the potion that you read about as homework last night. I've placed the ingredients on the board, and you can use your textbook…."

Harry leaned over to Ron and spoke in a hushed voice as Severus continued speaking to the class. "The slimy bat thinks we were going to be reading on Halloween night? He's mental."

Ron had just begun nodding his head when a shadow loomed over their heads. They both froze immediately, knowing exactly who it was. "25 points from Gryffindor. Potter, you have detention. Stay put after class." Harry looked up to see Severus' angry sneer.

When Severus left their table and continued up to the front of the room a few seconds later, Harry and Ron let out a breath. "He really is a git isn't he?" Ron asked Harry with a sympathetic look on his face.

Harry just looked at Ron and gave a slight shake of the head. He didn't want to risk getting any more detentions with Snape, especially since he still had about 45 more minutes left in class.

Since the class was almost over and everyone should have been close to completing their potion, Severus decided to walk around the tables to see the results. After giving Draco 10 points for his potion having a near correct consistency, he finally made his way to Harry and Ron's table and peered inside Harry's cauldron. "A waste of ingredients," he said icily. How anyone can be so incompetent is beyond me. The base was a first-year potion and in a sense, a first year should have been able to brew this potion." He bent down so he was face to face with Harry, his dark lank hair hanging down the sides of his face. "You should give up while you're ahead Potter," he hissed, then stood back up.

Angry at the Potion Master's comments, but biting both lips to keep from responding with a nasty retort, Harry took a look at his potion. It was mint green, just a little lighter in color than the potion should have been, but was the right consistency. He was fairly certain he was close to the right color though. He glanced over to Hermione's potion and saw hers was just a shade darker, and he knew hers to be correct.

"Zero points for your potion Potter." Before Harry could protest, Severus pulled out his wand. "Evanesco."

Harry looked inside his now empty cauldron and glanced up at Severus, ready to make a remark. Severus looked satisfied but ready to explode should Harry give him the chance. He looked back down and rolled his eyes, hoping the man didn't see.

"Class dismissed," said Severus a few seconds later, wanting to be rid of the 6th years. "Place your potion samples on the back desk on your way out."

Ron and Harry put their stuff in their book bags and walked over to Hermione so the three of them could go to their next class together. Once Hermione was ready, the trio made their way to the door.

Severus' cold voice wafted through the classroom just as they stepped over the threshold. "Potter, where do you think you're going? Did I not tell you to stay after class?"

Harry huffed and said goodbye to Ron and Hermione. He turned around and faced Severus. "Sorry sir. I forgot."

Severus narrowed his eyes at Harry.

Without trying to hide it this time, Harry rolled his eyes at Severus again. "Whatever," he said quietly after seeing his professor's expression.

Severus was beginning to lose his patience. "You're insolence is unbelievable, Potter.

I expect to see you here at 6:30 tonight for your detention." And as an afterthought, added "Wear something old." Severus decided to give Harry a more hands-on detention instead of the usual.

Harry gave a slight nod and realizing Severus was done speaking with him, quickly left the potions classroom to catch up with his friends.

Out of breath from running, Harry finally caught up with Ron and Hermione in the corridor outside of the Transfiguration classroom. He tried to squeeze in between them, but they were too close together. "Hi guys." There was no answer. He then noticed their heads were bent so close together they were almost touching and they were whispering amongst themselves. "Hey guys," he tried again, this time moving next to Ron.

"Oh. Hey Harry." Ron finally noticed Harry walking next to him. "So, what's the torture this time?"

"I have no idea. The old bat just said to wear something old."

Hermione gave Harry a stern look. "You should have tried harder on your potion, Harry."

"Come on Hermione, my potion was almost the same color as yours and it was the correct consistency. What more do you want?" Harry was getting aggravated.

"It's just…Harry you never—" Hermione began, never taking her eyes off Ron.

Harry cut her off. "Never mind," he said shortly, seeing Hermione's attention wasn't really on him at all. He sped up and entered Transfiguration and quickly took a seat next to Neville.

Harry had just said goodbye to Ron and Hermione and was getting ready to leave the Great Hall after lunch to head to History of Magic, his next class. He was packing away his homework when a small first year approached and handed him a folded piece of parchment. He watched the boy leave, unfolded the letter and read it. _This day just keeps getting better. I wonder what I did now, besides getting an undeserved detention, that Professor Dumbledore wants to see me this afternoon. Whatever it is, I doubt it can be good. _

After an hour of trying to remain alert and conscious in Professor Binns' class, Harry found himself reluctantly heading for the Headmaster's office and standing in front of the stone gargoyle. Before he could even begin uttering a possible password, the stone gargoyle sprung aside revealing the spiral steps leading up to Dumbledore's office. He slowly climbed the stairs, dragging his book bag behind him. When he reached the office doors, they immediately opened.

Harry hesitantly stepped into the round office and glanced around. His stomach dropped as he spotted the greasy black hair of the Potions Master seated in one of the chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk.

Severus turned in his chair and met Harry's eyes with a sneer and a cold glare; the reason for Dumbledore's meeting reaffirmed.

Harry broke eye contact and looked around the office for Dumbledore. Not seeing him, he put his book bag on his shoulder, walked as far from Severus as he could and stared at the various objects on the shelf in front of him. Just as he was about to pick up a gleaming sphere, he heard a door open to the left of him. He removed his hand from the sphere and turned to see Dumbledore entering the office from his private chambers and sit down at his desk.

"Harry," Dumbledore began, "how are you doing this fine afternoon?" He took a seat behind his desk and pointed a hand to the chair on the other side, next to Severus. "Why don't you take a seat?"

Harry nodded, settled himself as far away from Snape as the chair would allow him, and dropped his book bag to his feet.

Dumbledore then held a bowl in front of Harry. "Lemon drop?" At Harry's negative nod, he turned to Severus. "Severus?"

"No thank you Headmaster," he said in a low voice. He wished Dumbledore would stop offering sweets before getting to the cause of his meetings.

Placing the bowl back down, Dumbledore placed his elbows on the desk and rested his chin on his steepled fingers. "I guess the two of you would like to know why I called you here this afternoon."

"Yes sir," came Harry's soft reply.

Severus said nothing.

"Harry, over the summer holiday, it has come to my attention that we need to be more vigilant in protecting you from Lord Voldemort."

Harry gave a small nod, while Severus interrupted. "Headmaster, I don't see how this has anything to do—"

Dumbledore raised a hand to stop Severus. "Let me finish Severus." He turned his attention back to Harry. "Harry, after the events that took place at the Ministry last year, I feel it is imperative that you start taking Occlumency lessons again."

Harry paled at the mention of the Ministry, his thoughts going back to Sirius, and his face showed a bit of sadness.

Severus had turned his attention to Harry as Dumbledore began speaking again and saw the change in Harry's demeanor. He gave a small smirk, glad to see the boy in distress since he again caused most, if not all, of devastation that happened that day. He got what he deserved.

"Who will be teaching me?" Harry asked in a small voice, afraid to hear the answer.

"Professor Snape," said Dumbledore, nodding his head in the direction of Severus.

"But sir," Harry began to protest, chancing a glance at the Potion's Master.

"I will not waste my valuable time teaching this dimwitted boy," Severus interrupted, pointing his hand at Harry. "He's incapable of learning the subject, as last year proved."

Harry was becoming enraged at the Potion Master's comments. He clenched his fists and tried to speak calmly, but it was of no use. "I don't want that greasy git teaching me anything! He's the reason why—"

"Harry, please have some respect for your Professor," Dumbledore broke in.

"Sorry," he said, though not meaning it. "You hear how he talks about me Headmaster. It's the same when he talks _to _me. He'll just keep belittling me and getting mad when I can't push him out of my mind. Yet he never tells me how to do it!"

"I am sure _Professor_ Snape treats you will respect and is teaching you with the best of his abilities."

Severus sneered at Harry but nodded to Dumbledore. "Thank you Headmaster."

"But sir," Harry began again.

"Believe me, I understand your concerns gentlemen," Dumbledore began, looking at the two sitting in front of him, "but I cannot just ignore the growing situation. And I'm afraid I'm not as mastered in the art as you are, Severus, to teach young Mr. Potter myself." Harry sighed, defeated. "I would like the lessons to be two hours twice a week, beginning tomorrow after dinner. You will use the same excuse as last year, Harry, if anyone questions your whereabouts."

"Yes sir," Harry replied dejectedly, looking down at his hands in his lap.

"Severus?" Dumbledore asked.

"That's fine." Wanted to humiliate the boy a little more, he continued. "If you so choose, I'll gladly meet with you after our lessons to give you an update on Potter's lack of progress."

"That will not be necessary, Severus." Dumbledore stood up from his desk. "That will be all. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon." He then left his office the same way he arrived.

Not wanting to be in the vicinity of Severus any longer and wanting some time without the man until his detention, Harry grabbed his book bag and dashed out the door to the Gryffindor common room.

Severus waited until he was fairly certain Harry was already in the corridors before he left for his office. He had a little time before his next class and dinner to get ready for Harry's detention.

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Like always, I love reviews. If you've noticed any holes in my story, please let me know. Also, I need some direction on where to go next. I've got chapters farther along in this story written already, but I'm not sure where to go next. If there's anything you'd like to see, please tell me.

Also, I'm not sure if I'm going to go into detail with the detention. As of right now, I have no clue what Harry's detention shall be. I'm open for suggestions. :)


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for all the reviews. I must say I'm impressed with the number of hits and reviews I've received so far for this fic. I never thought the numbers would be as high as they are. Keep 'em coming!! LOL I hope I'm keeping you wanting to read more of this story.

Now I had planned on updating this story sooner, but every time I sat down to write this chapter, ideas popped into my head for chapters farther along. So, I of course had to write those. :) But I finally did manage to write this one. Sorry it's so short, but I hope you enjoy it.

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**Chapter 10**

The Great Hall was mostly empty when Harry entered to have dinner later that night before his detention. Remembering he earlier told Ron and Hermione that he would save them a spot when they came down for dinner at their normal time, he walked halfway down the sparsely populated Gryffindor table toward one of the larger empty areas and sat down. He then filled his plate with food and began eating.

Almost done with his dinner, a while later, Harry looked up from his plate and noticed that a majority of the students had arrived. He was a bit surprised that Ron and Hermione had yet to show up as Ron supposedly had something very important to tell them at dinner before Harry left for his detention. Harry took a sip of pumpkin juice and looked towards the doors. As his eyes traveled up the long wooden table, he spotted his friends sitting very close to each other near the end of the table, talking and laughing.

Feeling slightly betrayed and hurt at his friends for ignoring him yet again, Harry quickly finished his dinner and stormed out of the Great Hall, being sure he was seen by Ron and Hermione. Once out of the Great Hall, he proceeded up to his dorm room, almost at a run, to change for his detention. He had eaten slowly so he could spend some time with them before his detention and now he had no time to dally around because they decided not to join him.

Ron entered the dorm room minutes behind Harry and immediately stopped in the doorway, his eyes taking in the sight before him. Clothes and books were scattered all over his bed and Harry's. He walked into the room and around to Harry's bed. He found Harry bent over his trunk, throwing a pair of socks and trainers beside him on the floor. "Blimey Harry, what do you think your doing?" he asked, forgetting the real reason he went up to their dorm room.

"What do you care?" Harry snapped, his voice not hiding his feelings about being ignoring at dinner. He reached into the bottom of his trunk and pulled out a raggedy pair of jeans and shirt.

"Harry," Ron began.

With clothes in hand, Harry grabbed his pair of trainers and socks on the floor and stood up, his back to Ron. "I need to change for detention." Without another word or waiting for Ron to respond, Harry headed to the bathroom to change.

When he reentered the dorm room a few minutes later, he was relieved to see that Ron was gone. He wasn't in the mood to have a row with him at the moment. Placing his school clothes on his four-poster, Harry took off for the potion's classroom.

As he slowly descended the stairs toward the dungeons, Harry's upset feelings turned to anger. He could understand his friends wanting to do things without him, but he couldn't believe they would forget their promise to have dinner with him. Over the past month, he'd noticed that them forgetting about him had become an almost regular occurrence.

His thoughts then turned towards his detention as he rounded a corridor and spotted the potion's classroom. He was fuming by the time he got to the door. He couldn't believe Ron, again, got out of a detention from Snape. _This detention is so unfair. Ron deserved a detention too. That greasy git really has it out for me._ His anger worked up, Harry knocked on the wooden door with more force than necessary.

* * *

Severus was shifting some items around in the potion's storeroom when he heard a forceful knock on the classroom door. "Enter," he said rather loudly while still in the storeroom.

Harry opened the door and stood just inside, left hand clenched in anger on the door knob. With surprising courage, Harry started ranting the minute he entered the classroom, not bothering to notice that the Potion's Master wasn't in sight. He was too busy looking at his trainers instead of the classroom. "Sir, this detention is uncalled for. I did nothing to deserve it," he shouted, not caring if he was being disrespectful to his professor. "And if I got a detention, Ron should have received one too. I think you…" He stopped abruptly, surprised at what he had said. He was thinking those thoughts but never imagined saying them out loud to the professor.

Severus stepped into the classroom carrying a huge metal bucket. "Please desist with your infernal racket Mr. Potter." He placed the bucket on the floor next to one of the desks at the front of the room and looked Harry up and down with narrowed eyes. "I see you remembered to wear something old." Harry just stood at the door glaring at him. "It seems you can listen to instructions after all."

"I always listen," Harry replied. "But not to you most of the time," he added in a very quiet whisper.

Ignoring the boy's comment, Severus walked to his desk, sat down, and looked at Harry still standing at the door. "Are you incapable of shutting the door Mr. Potter?" he asked, exasperated.

Without a word, Harry closed the door and took a seat at the desk Snape had set up for him to obviously use during his detention.

"You will have two assignments to complete during this detention. Tomorrow morning the second years will be brewing a boil cure potion and my store of flobberworm mucus is almost depleted. As such, you will be replenishing it." Severus watched Harry nod his head. "As you can see, Potter, the bucket is filled with flobberworms. You will obtain their mucus and fill all the vials I have set out on the desk. All the utensils and tools you could possibly need are on the desk as well. When you have filled all the vials, you _will_ let me know so you can start on your other assignment."

"Yes sir," Harry said unenthusiastically, staring at the wiggling mass of flobberworms in the bucket next to him. He definitely wasn't going to enjoy this task. He could only imagine what the second one would be.

Severus turned his attention to his desk to start reading the fourth year's papers he had collected that day while Harry started working on his first assignment.

A little while later, Severus looked up from the papers to the desk Harry was working at. The boy had his mucus-covered hands on top of the desk, and was staring at them in disgust. Severus then looked to the vials and noticed that they were all full of mucus. He let out an infuriated breath. If that boy could ever follow directions, it would be a miracle. He got up and walked over to Harry.

"Potter," Severus hissed, leaning over the desk. Harry jerked his head up to stare at the professor, surprised at his closeness. "It seems, Mr. Potter, that you can only follow directions once a day."

"That's not…" Harry started.

Severus interrupted. "You will now finish the rest of this detention clearing out the potions storeroom." He stood up straight and walked over to a cabinet on the far side of the classroom. He pulled out an empty bucket, sponges, a scrub brush, rags, and various cleansers. "It will be done the muggle way."

Harry just sat there watching the professor.

"The floor, shelves, and vials haven't been cleaned in years," Severus began as he walked over to Harry. "Most of the expired potions and ingredients have been removed over time, but I would like a thorough cleaning done. The vials will be sparkling, the shelves will have no sticky gunk on them, and the floor will be so clean you can eat off of it. If you have any problems deciphering what has expired, you will ask me." He thrust the bucket full of cleaning items at Harry. "Any questions?"

Harry shook his head no. "No sir."

"There is an empty container in the storeroom. Place all the expired items inside."

"Yes sir," Harry replied gloomily.

Before returning to his papers, Severus dropped a rag on the desk in front of Harry. "Clean off your hands." He then whirled around and went back to his desk.

Wiping the slimy goo off his hands, Harry stood up and entered the storeroom.

"Oh, and Mr. Potter, I don't think it wise for you to clean out the storeroom too quickly. You will continue to clean it out over your next four detentions."

"What?!" Harry asked incredulously as he walked out of the storeroom. "I don't have any more detentions with you."

"Not yet Mr. Potter," Severus said with a hint of warning. "But with your attitude and insolence, it will only be a matter of time until you land yourself in a detention with me once again."

Harry didn't respond, knowing it was probably the truth; especially now that Severus had a job he wanted him to continue. _He'd probably give me detention for breathing too loud now._ He looked at Severus and quickly walked back in to the storeroom.

Standing in the middle of the room, Harry looked around. He couldn't believe how large the room actually was. He, of course, had been in it a few times over the past five years, but never realized its size. The room was about 10 feet by 10 feet. Nine levels of metal shelves lined all four walls with various sizes of glass vials and jars resting on every available surface. "This is going to take more than four detentions. I hope that git isn't having me clean the entire thing myself," he whispered.

Deciding it would be best if he started the cleaning on the top shelves and worked his way down, Harry grabbed the empty container by the door that was for the expired potions and ingredients and set it down where he was going to start. He pulled a wooden ladder from one of the corners and opened it up. He then began the slow and tedious job of cleaning up the storeroom.

Harry had just finished cleaning about three quarters of the first shelf when he went to grab a jar near the back by the wall. The sound of shattering glass stopped his reach immediately and he looked down to the ground below him. Two large jars lay smashed on the floor, with the small pieces of glass mixed among a murky orange liquid and bits of something he didn't want to identify. He quickly descended the ladder and stepping over the disgusting mixture, stuck his head out of the storeroom. Seeing that Snape apparently wasn't in the next room, Harry pulled his head back in and quickly cleaned up the mess. He then went back up the ladder to continue where he left off.

An hour and a half later, Severus quietly walked into the storeroom. "Potter."

At the sound of the Potion Master's voice, Harry jumped and quickly got down off the ladder, his heart racing. "Yes?"

"You are dismissed for tonight. Though I'd rather not see your face again, please be prompt for your lesson tomorrow. It will be held in my office."

"Yes sir," he said rather tiredly. "Where would you like me to put the cleaning supplies sir?"

"You can leave them against the wall in the far corner. You will be using them for your detention on Friday, seeing as tomorrow you will be otherwise occupied."

"Friday?"

"Yes. Friday. It's the day that comes after tomorrow and before Saturday. I'm sure you've heard of it."

"I know when Friday is," he said aggravated. "I don't have a detention on Friday, sir."

"You do as of about an hour ago for breaking two of my jars."

Harry stared at the man in shock. _How did he know I broke them? He wasn't even in the room. And since when does accidentally breaking jars constitute a detention?_ "I didn't break them on purpose. It was an accident."

"Then your detention is well deserved; it's for your carelessness."

"But that is so unfair. I didn't mean to—."

"Do you want to make it Saturday as well as Friday Mr. Potter?" Severus asked, a little too happily.

Harry looked at Severus then swallowed. "No sir."

"Then get out of my sight before you find yourself here on Saturday."

Harry didn't acknowledge Severus. If he did, he knew his mouth would earn him the Saturday detention. Instead, he quickly left the storeroom and the potion's classroom and headed toward the Gryffindor tower. As he entered the Gryffindor common room and made his way to the stairs up to his dorm room, Hermione intercepted him.

"Harry, where have you been?" She then saw the state he was in; beads of sweat on his face, clothes dirty and wet. "What did you get in to?"

"I was at my detention with Snape," he snapped. "Remember?"

"Oh yes. I'm sorry Harry, I guess I forgot. I've had quiet a bit on my mind I guess." She turned and took a quick look at Ron who was sitting in front of the fireplace playing a round of exploding snap with Neville and Ginny.

Harry followed Hermione's gaze. "Seems to be happening a lot," he said more to himself than to her.

"What was that Harry?" Hermione questioned, not really listening to what he was saying.

"Nothing. Excuse me Hermione," he said while pushing his way past the girl who again turned her attention to Ron. "I'd like to take a shower and go to bed."

"Of course. Sorry. See you at breakfast, Harry."

"Yea, whatever," he said almost out of Hermione's earshot. Wanting to get out of his dirty clothes and to clean off all the disgusting gunk plastered all over his hands and arms, Harry quickly went to take a shower. When he was done, he went to his four-poster. Still not in the mood to have any sort of discussion with Ron, he drew the red velvet curtains closed around him to work on his homework and then to go to bed.

* * *

Severus watched Harry leave the classroom, glad to have him out of his sight. He could only handle being in the vicinity of that boy for short periods of time before always acquiring a headache.

He turned off the storeroom light, closed the door and went back to his desk to finish grading the papers. After finishing the last paper an hour later, Severus quickly retired to his quarters. He made himself a cup of tea, sat by the fireplace, and picked up the book he was in the middle of reading. He sat there reading until he retired to bed a few hours later. Never once did his mind drift to the box from Lily he stashed in his closet.

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	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. I'm sorry if I didn't respond to yours. I do try my best to respond to all my reviews. I appreciate them all!

Here's the next update. I'm surprised I'm posting it this quickly. Enjoy.

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**Chapter 11**

A three inch stack of mail sat waiting on the corner of Remus Lupin's desk. He had been avoiding going through it for days and the pile had just kept growing. As he sat at his desk way into the evening the night after Halloween, he decided he'd better sort through it. It was the full moon in a few days and he knew he shouldn't hold the mail until after he recovered from his transformation. There might be something important in the stack.

He had gone through about one-third of the mail, throwing most of it away, when he came upon an envelope that looked extremely out of place. Remus covered a yawn and picked the envelope up, looking to see who it was from. The envelope only had his name inscribed on the front in purple ink. He opened the envelope, pulled out the single piece of parchment, and read the letter.

After he finished reading, he dropped the letter and rubbed both hands across his face and left them there. "I don't believe it. Severus is Harry's father!" he said to his empty office. He quickly raised his head. "That's who I see when I look at Harry. I knew there was something different but familiar about him now. He's already taken on some of Severus' traits, especially in his face."

Remus read the letter again and carefully placed it back in the envelope. It was one item he really wanted to keep. Walking through his office to his adjoining quarters, he removed a box from the bottom of his trunk where he kept all of his old keepsakes, and placed the letter inside. With thoughts of this new revelation in his head, Remus decided it best not to continue going through his mail. Instead he went back to his office to lock up and shut off all the lights.

He returned to his quarters and sat down on the couch after quickly asking a house elf to bring him some tea. After the tea arrived, he took a few sips and sat back, pondering over the letter. He really wasn't sure how he felt about it. The news, of course, came as a shock.

The letter from Lily didn't give much detail, but he found it extremely hard to believe that he missed anything going on between Severus and Lily while they were all students at Hogwarts. They really did succeed in keeping their relationship hidden. The entire time they were at Hogwarts, Remus thought that Lily and James had been an item. They sure had him fooled.

Remus' thoughts then turned to Harry. He knew how desperate Harry was for a family, but had a hard time believing Harry would willingly accept Severus as his father. Knowing the boy, he'd put up a fight about it. In the end, Harry would more than likely feel betrayed.

He was glad Harry would finally have someone out there to care about him and be family. If he was able, he'd gladly do it. He just couldn't get it past his mind that anyone would have been better than Severus to fill that role. In all of his years of knowing Severus, he just didn't think the potion's master was father material. But then again, the man really had no reason to act that way.

He couldn't even begin to think what Severus was feeling about this revelation. He knew the man would be infuriated. He just hoped that although Severus loathed Harry, he wouldn't take it out on the poor boy. It definitely wasn't Harry's fault. Hopefully Severus' feelings towards Harry would change after viewing whatever memories Lily had saved.

He then knew he had to pretend he knew nothing about the truth while around Harry until Severus told Harry.

If it wasn't for him feeling so weak because of his upcoming transformation, Remus would have had a conversation with Severus in the next day or two. Deep down he felt that Severus might try to deny the truth. Heck, if he was in Severus' place, he might deny the truth too. But for Harry's sake, the truth needed to come out, even if he had to tell Harry himself; which he hoped it never came down to. He only hoped the ornery potion's master would listen to him when the time came to talk.

* * *

The sky outside Gryffindor tower was an inky black when Harry woke up the next morning. Knowing he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, though it was hours from breakfast, he lay awake in bed; his thoughts from the night before the cause of his sleeplessness.

Seeing the curtains still closed around his bed, Harry sat up, propped his pillows behind him on the headboard and sat back. He then brought his blankets back over him, the chill from the approaching winter having made its way into the castle, and rubbed at his eyes.

He couldn't believe the luck he was having this week. What was he talking about? Not this week, these past few days. First he learned he needed to start Occlumency lessons again with Snape, then he got a detention…twice. It definitely couldn't get any worse, or so he hoped.

Feeling a nagging itch on the back of his neck, Harry raised one of his arms to scratch it. As he did so, he noticed a slight soreness in his arm, and when he clenched his hand to scratch, a more pronounced pain in his hand. _Who would have thought a detention could cause this much pain?_

Harry then thought about his detention. He had never had a detention like that before from Snape, or from anyone. It really was uncalled for. Especially the one Snape gave him right before he left. It wasn't like he dropped the glass jars on purpose. It really was an accident.

It was then he decided to go down to breakfast early and see if he could speak with Professor Lupin. It probably wouldn't get him out of tomorrow's detention, but at least he could see if he was right in thinking the task he was assigned to do was too extreme. If anything, he knew just getting it off his chest would make him feel better.

He sat there, for what felt like hours, before the sky outside started getting lighter. Figuring breakfast should be starting shortly, Harry got dressed and went down to the Great Hall.

Luckily when he entered the Great Hall, there were only a handful of students and a few teachers seated around the massive room. He really didn't want to call attention to himself. Students normally stayed away from the staff table. Seeing Remus seated at an empty part of the table, Harry decided to speak with him before eating.

Remus looked up as Harry approached the staff table, and gave the boy a warm smile. "Good morning Harry. Did you need something?"

"I wanted to ask you if you had some time to talk this morning before classes."

Remus hesitated before answering, wondering if Harry's topic was about Severus. "Sure, I'll always make time for you Harry." Knowing that Harry had just entered the hall and had yet to eat, he continued. "Why don't you eat breakfast first and we'll head up to my office in half an hour. Will that be enough time for you?"

"Half an hour will be fine. Thanks professor."

"You're welcome." Remus watched as Harry turned away and sat down at the Gryffindor table a little ways away. He really hoped Harry didn't want to discuss Severus being his father. He didn't have it in him to discuss it this morning.

* * *

Half an hour later found Harry and Remus walking through the corridors towards Remus' office. Knowing Harry probably wanted to wait until they were behind closed doors to talk, Remus kept their conversation to non-important things like how classes were going and what he planned on doing during the next Hogsmeade weekend.

After entering his office and closing the door, Remus motioned for Harry to have a seat at one of the chairs in front of his desk. He then pulled his chair from behind the desk and set it down next to Harry. Taking a seat, he looked at the boy. Seeing it didn't look like Harry was going to start the conversation, he began. "What's on your mind Harry?"

Harry sat there staring at his hands folded in his lap. He knew what he wanted to say, but just didn't know how to say it. He also really didn't want to have Remus think any less of him because he had gotten not one, but two detentions from Snape in one day. "I just," he looked up at Remus. "I wanted to get your opinion on something." Harry dropped his gaze back down to his hands.

Remus followed Harry's gaze to his hands. The way the boy was rubbing his hands, almost massage-like, it looked like he was trying to ease pain. He, after all, was familiar with pain and knew all he ways of trying to relieve it. "Harry, are your hands hurting you?"

Harry quickly averted his eyes from his hands to the professor. "Um." _Just tell him. You never know, he could help_, he thought. He nodded his head. "Yes, sir."

"Have you visited the hospital wing yet?"

"No. They don't hurt that much," he replied quickly. The last thing he wanted was to go to the hospital wing.

Remus took Harry's hands in his own and looked them over. "Everything appears to be fine." Satisfied, he let go of Harry's hands and watched as the boy immediately began massaging them again. "If the pain increases Harry, I want you to go to Madam Pomfrey." He waited until Harry agreed, then went on. "What happened?" he asked, nodding to Harry's hands.

"It's from a detention last night," Harry began.

"A detention?" he asked puzzled. "I don't recall many, if any, detentions causing pain. Well, except if they were served with Filch." Remus gave a chuckle then stopped. "Harry, you didn't have a detention with Filch did you? I know Professor Dumbledore said Filch was forbidden to oversee detentions, but I don't think it's beneath some professors here to hand a few of theirs over to him every once in a while."

Harry almost laughed at Remus' comment. "No sir. Not with Filch."

"Who was it with?"

"It…it was with Snape," Harry gave reluctantly.

"What did _Professor_ Snape have you do to cause your hands to hurt?"

"He had me start my detention refilling his flobberworm mucus stores. Then he had me begin cleaning out the potions storeroom; the jars and vials, shelves, floor. Everything in that room! He then said that assignment has to last my next four detentions."

"Four detentions! What could you have possibly done in one day to deserve four detentions?"

"I didn't do anything!"

Remus looked at Harry with a smirk. He wasn't that dumb. He knew Harry did earn a detention here and there. But he couldn't believe the boy would do anything to earn himself four detentions in only one day.

"I really don't have four detentions…yet. I only earned one." Harry stopped talking, not really wanting to explain further. He took a few deep breathes. _You wanted to talk to Lupin about the detentions. Just tell him. _"Snape had just given us our assignment and Ron and I made a comment to each other."

"Mmm hmm."

"That's it. I swear." Harry looked at Remus and saw his raised eyebrow. He then knew he had to continue. "Until…"

"I thought so," Remus interrupted with a small smile.

"No, it's not like that," Harry began, trying to defend himself. "That's all I did to get last night's detention. All I did was tell Ron that Snape was crazy to think we really did our homework on Halloween. Then I got a detention and Ron didn't. I swear that greasy git has it out for me." He added the last as an afterthought.

"Harry," Remus warned. "Do show some respect."

Harry's face went a little red. He hadn't meant to talk like that in front of Remus. "Sorry. It's just, Ron always seems to get away with everything and I'm always the one who gets a detention. How can I not think Snape's got it out for me?"

"I'm pretty sure…no…make that absolutely positive, you're reading into it all wrong." Remus wanted to say more, but had to hold his tongue.

"Then why, while in that detention, did he give me another detention tomorrow night? Just for accidentally dropping and breaking two glass jars while I was cleaning?"

"That does seem a bit excessive," Remus agreed.

"Good," Harry said relieved. "I'm glad you agree." Harry stood up from the chair he was sitting in and walked to the far end of Remus' office, examining the bookshelves and debating whether to continue. Then deciding he had nothing to lose, turned around to face Remus. "Um, sir, do you think you can speak with Professor Snape about my detentions?"

"Harry, you know I can't do…"

Harry sat back down in his chair. "I know you can't get me out of them. I just want you to talk with him. See if you can lessen them. Or at the least, make him see the assignment he's giving me for these detentions is a bit excessive."

Remus regarded Harry before answering. "I will see what I can do, Harry. But I won't make any promises."

"Thank you professor."

"You're welcome." Remus quickly glanced at the clock on his desk. "You better get going Harry. First class starts in about five minutes."

Harry nodded and walked to the door. "See you around. And thanks for listening."

"Anytime, Harry. Remember, anytime."

Harry left Remus' office and headed to his first class of the day.

Before grabbing the items he would need to teach his DADA class, Remus decided he would talk with Severus about Harry's detention, but it would have to wait until after his transformation.

He also decided to wait for a few weeks before speaking with Severus about Lily's letter. If Harry didn't mention anything about Severus being his father by the beginning of December, he'd talk to Severus about it then. He wanted to give the potion's master some time to have the conversation with Harry before he butted in.

* * *

Unfortunately the day passed in a blur for Harry after leaving Remus' office. He had a full schedule of classes and spent all his free time with Neville and Ginny, still too upset with Ron and Hermione. But in the back of his mind during the entire day, he was dreading the start of his Occlumency lessons with Snape.

* * *

A half an hour before Severus went to his office to prepare for Harry's Occlumency lesson, he set out a small glass and bottle of fire whiskey on the table by the fireplace in his private quarters. He knew he would need it after the night's lesson was over and wanted to be prepared. He was definitely not looking forward to tonight at all. He felt it an extreme waste of time, but of course had to agree with the Headmaster. He was the best at the subject and the Potter brat did need to learn it. The wizarding world, and his, depended on it.

After entering his office, Severus laid out everything he thought he would need for Harry's lesson. Then, not wanting a repeat of the previous year, Severus placed his pensive in the storage closet. He was shutting the door when he heard a knock on his office door. He quickly spelled the storage closet locked. "Enter," he said after taking a deep breath to ready himself.

With a scowl on his face, Severus watched Harry enter the room, close the door behind him and meet his eyes. "I'm here for my lesson Professor Snape."

Severus muttered something unintelligible under his breath while turning around and walking to his desk. He then spoke aloud to Harry. "Of course you are foolish boy. Why else would I see you in my office in the evening, besides for a detention which I know you don't have tonight?"

Harry said nothing.

"I suggest we see how incompetent you are with Occlumency before I begin your lesson. I need to know if my time teaching you last year was a waste. Although I can almost say, without a doubt, that it was." He then motioned for Harry to come to the other side of his desk.

Harry walked over near the wall by the desk and faced the potion's master, wondering what the professor was going to have him do first.

Not even giving Harry any indication of what was going on, Severus raised his wand. "Legilimens."

Before he could utter a protest or raise his wand, the office blurred in front of Harry and everything went dark. Images began flashing in front of him as Severus rifled through his mind...

_Receiving his first real Christmas presents his first year at Hogwarts…Kissing Cho under the mistletoe in the Room of Requirement…Watching Sirius fall through the veil…Releasing a Boa Constrictor on Dudley… Being thrown by the hair into his small cupboard by Vernon after doing something _freakish_ at seven years old…_

As soon as Harry felt Severus going through his memories, he tried to push him out. No matter what he did, Severus continued to shift through his memories; each one more painful than the last.

_Harry sitting in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express watching out the window in envy as Ron and Ginny received a hug from Mr. & Mrs. Weasley before boarding… Speaking with Sirius about living with him, after exiting the passageway under the Whomping Willow... Watching helpless as Cedic Diggory was struck with the Avada Kedavra curse… Remus holding him back to keep him from following Sirius after he fell through the veil…Voldemort performing the Cruciatus Curse on him in the graveyard…Sirius falling through the veil…_

_Stop…no….please, stop. _"Stop!" Harry yelled as he opened his eyes and found himself lying on the floor in a sweat. He took a few ragged breaths. "Stop, please."

Severus lowered his wand at looked at the boy on the ground. "Pathetic. You're worse off than I thought."

Angry at his professor, Harry slowly stood up and took a seat in the chair next to him, his body shaking. He placed his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands as he tried to get his breathing under control. He hated that Snape was seeing all his memories, especially the ones he was trying to forget. "Please sir, no more for tonight."

"As much as I want to agree, Potter, I find it necessary to continue if you plan on getting anything out of these lessons." He pulled out the chair behind his desk and sat down.

"If you would give me any hint as to what I need to do to keep you out," Harry began irritated, letting his hands fall to his lap and sitting back in the chair, "I might be able to actually do something."

"We've already been through this last year. How many times do I need to tell you? Clear your mind. Think of nothing and feel nothing."

"I'm trying. It's obviously not working. There's got to be something else I need to do."

Severus huffed and picked up a book he had sitting on his desk and handed it over to Harry. "I want you to read two chapters a night in this."

Harry grabbed the thick book and looked at the cover. "The Art of Occlumency: The First Steps."

"I know the title Potter," Severus said exasperated. "This book goes into detail on the various techniques you can use to clear your mind and rid yourself of emotions."

Flipping through the pages, Harry looked at the professor. "I'll start reading it tomorrow."

"No Potter. We will try one more time. Then you will go to your dorm room and read the first two chapters tonight."

Harry looked at Severus gloomily. "Fine. I'll read tonight." Harry then set the book in front of him on Severus' desk; not really planning on reading the book until the weekend. "I'm ready to try again sir."

"We will wait five minutes _then _begin. You need to calm down and get your breathing under control.

Nodding, Harry's eyes wandered over to shelves behind Severus. After seeing several items floating suspended in amber colored liquid and getting disgusted, he instead opted to flipping open the cover of the book in front of him. He skimmed through the first half when Snape told him to stand for their next attempt.

Severus raised his wand and spoke the incantation.

Like before, Harry's vision went blurry then dark. Then his memories appeared in front of him like snapshots. He tried his best to block Snape, but wasn't able to. Again he found himself on the floor, sweating, shaking, and out of breath.

Severus glared at Harry, still lying on the floor. "Just like before," he spat. He lowered his wand, placing it back in his robes, and set about cleaning up his desk. "That is all for tonight, Potter. I do not want to waste any more of my time on you this evening. Go back to your tower and read."

Because he was able to leave from his lesson early, Harry bit back a malicious remark, knowing it would land him with another detention, and slowly stood up. After getting his bearings, he made a bee-line for the office door, glad to be leaving. He only got eight steps away when he heard Snape's silky voice behind him.

"You best not forget the book Potter." He held the book out towards Harry.

Turning around and not meeting the professor's eyes, Harry grabbed the book and hastily made his way out of the office and to the Gryffindor tower.

* * *

_Like always, please review!!_


	12. Chapter 12

I was just thinking. I'm 12 chapters in and there's still no real sign of Severitius. I hope I'm not boring anyone or it's going too slow. I promise it will happen soon...more than likely the next chapter. YEAH!

Oh and some of you might have noticed I stopped with the Latin chapter titles. This had nothing to do with what some reviewers, or one in particular, said. It just ended up being coincidence. I've been thinking of abandoning it for quiet a while…it's been too hard to come up with chapter titles. It was fine when I thought my story would be only 10 chapters or so. But that's definitely not the case now.

Also, please don't shoot me,or stop reading if I've messed anything up with the wolfsbane potion. I tried to do a search on it, but I found nothing. So...I made it up.

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Remus sat down at the staff table in the Great Hall for breakfast. He had just finished serving himself some scrambled eggs and was plucking three sausages off the tray in front of him with a serving fork when someone took a seat next to him. He quickly pushed the sausages onto his plate with his fingers, placed the fork back on the tray, and, resisting the urge to lick his fingers, wiped them on the napkin in his lap. Before he could turn his head to see who sat down next to him, the person spoke.

"Lupin," came the silky voice of Severus, the name spoken like a bad taste in his mouth. "I would suggest you come see me down in my office after lunch." He leaned as close to the man as he dared, which wasn't all that close, and continued in a whisper with a hint of a warning. "You failed to show up last night for your potion. You do not want to go into the next transformation without it. If you do, your teaching career will be over faster than your recuperation."

Remus looked over at the potion's master. "I'm truly sorry Severus. I was catching up on some work after dinner and lost track of time. When I finally took a break, it was too late in the evening to come see you." In truth, Remus actually forgot about the potion, though he knew his transformation was on Monday. He could definitely feel it in his body. But his thoughts were on more important things. Like Severus being Harry's father.

"Very well." Severus stood up from the table. "Do not leave me waiting." He turned around and swept out of the room, having already finished his breakfast.

Remus watched Severus stalk out of the room, then turned his attention back to the sausages in front of him.

* * *

Like he promised, Remus was in Severus' office right after lunch. He was seated at one of the chairs in front of Severus' desk, hands clasped on his lap, waiting for the potion. Severus walked out of his private lab with a goblet in hand. He passed the goblet to Remus and sat down at his desk, reaching for the notes for his next potion's class. He completely ignored Remus.

Remus took the goblet and looked at the liquid sloshing inside. With a grimace, he brought the goblet up to his lips and downed the disgusting contents in one gulp. He set the goblet on the desk. "Ugh." He then wiped his hand across his mouth; missing the glare Severus gave him for his childish action.

After having taken the wolfsbane potion for years, Remus knew better than to leave Severus' office right after taking it. He wouldn't get very far with its side effects. He sat back in his chair to wait out the ten minutes before he could leave, eyes traveling towards the potion's master.

Last night, Remus told himself he would speak to Severus about Harry's detentions after his transformation. But since he had nothing better to do at the moment, and felt he could handle the conversation, he decided he might as well bring it up.

Severus, feeling he was being watched, looked up and met Remus' eyes. "What is it Lupin?" he asked irritated. "Why are you still here?"

"You know why I'm still here, Severus." Knowing Severus wouldn't respond, Remus continued. "I'd like to discuss your detentions with Mr. Potter."

"Potter's detentions with me are none of your concern," he said matter-of-factly, and returned his attention to his notes.

"Pardon me, Severus, but yes they are." Remus leaned forward and placed his arms on Severus' desk. "When a student comes to me in pain because of a detention, it becomes my concern."

"My detentions do not cause pain." Severus took his quill, dipped it in the ink well, and began adding a few more notes to the parchment in front of him. "They teach discipline."

"Is that so?" he challenged. "Then why was Harry complaining to me that his hands hurt from his detention two days ago with you?"

"Coincidence Lupin. Potter was probably just seeking attention and wanting to get out of his well-deserved detention." Severus was getting tired of the conversation and decided to turn his attention elsewhere. It was bad enough when the Headmaster wanted to have conversations about his 'golden boy.' He didn't need to have the werewolf engage in those conversations as well. Placing his notes back into the folder they were in, he pulled a potion's journal from under a stack of papers on the corner of his desk and began to read.

Remus watched Severus read a few lines in the journal then shook his head. The man wasn't interested in the conversation at all. He should have expected it and in fact, he did. He realized this was also one sign that Severus had yet come to terms with his past.

Looking at the potion's master one more time and deciding it best to give up, Remus stood, preparing to leave for his quarters. "In any event Severus, would you please reconsider the assignment you gave Harry for his detention? It really is extreme…as well as the reasoning behind his second detention tonight. I highly doubt the Headmaster would find it appropriate."

Severus raised his head and looked at Remus with a scowl. "The Headmaster and I have different definitions of appropriate and that is something we both agree on. He is fine with the way I handle all my detentions. Furthermore, I will assign whatever tasks I see fit for Potter. As I said, it is none of your concern." He then turned back to the journal on his desk.

Taking that as his cue to leave, Remus left the cold dungeon office and went up to his quarters. He knew the conversation had been a waste of time and he was glad he didn't seek out the potion's master during his free time. At least he kept his promise to Harry; that he would talk to Severus about his detentions.

At the sound of the heavy wooden door closing, Severus spelled it locked, closed the potion's journal he was reading and sat staring at the cover unwillingly thinking about Remus' comments. He definitely didn't think the task he assigned Potter was too extreme. It just made up for all the destruction he caused during his past five years at Hogwarts. It was well deserved.

* * *

Students began spilling out of the sixth year Transfiguration classroom. Harry was one of the last to leave the room, having had to stay behind to answer a few questions Professor McGonagall had for him. After clearing the threshold, he rushed to catch up with Hermione and Ron.

"…so that's why Fred and George want us to visit, Hermione." Ron finished as Harry finally met up to them. He then looked over at Harry. "So, what did ol' McGonagall want this time, Harry? Did it have anything to do with why you weren't around last night?"

"I don't want to talk about it. And no, it didn't," Harry replied shortly.

"You aren't in trouble with her are you Harry?" Hermione questioned.

"No, Hermione. I don't always get in trouble you know."

"Well, it just seems that lately…" Hermione began.

Harry stopped walking. "I'm not in trouble, Hermione." Harry cut in, a little irritated. "Will you please just drop it?!" He really didn't feel like discussing the conversation he had with the professor. It was, after all, about his Occulmency lessons and he hadn't told his friends he had started up on them again.

Hermione looked at Harry worriedly. He always seemed to be short with her and Ron lately. "Sorry Harry."

Harry saw the look on Hermione's face. "It's okay 'Mione," Harry replied after a few seconds. "_I'm_ sorry." He gave her a small smile and continued walking to their next class.

Ron looked at Harry and decided it would be a good idea to change the subject. "Harry, Hermione and I were talking about our next Hogsmeade weekend. We decided we're going to that small café next to the apothecary first, then the book store, and last, the twins joke shop. Then we'd just stroll around the village. We even thought it would be fun to come back a little early and have a picnic lunch out by the lake."

"Really?" It sounded like the locations were picked so the two of them could spend time together, not for the three of them to have a fun Saturday; especially considering this would actually be the first time he was allowed in the village.

"It should be fun Harry." Hermione came to a stop in front of an open classroom door. "What do you say?"

Harry looked between his two friends. He knew he'd feel like a third wheel on this trip and that they more than likely didn't want him to go. "No thanks guys. I don't feel up to it. You two go have fun."

"You sure Harry?" Ron asked. He was surprised by his friend's response. "You've never really been there before. Well, except for the time you snuck over there under your invisibility cloak."

"I'm sure Ron." In truth, he really did want to do, but not under those circumstances.

"Well, next time you will definitely come with us. Right?"

Harry was actually unsure what he wanted to do, but reluctantly gave Ron his answer. "Right." He then followed Hermione into the classroom with Ron trailing behind. The three took their seats and took out their potion's text.

Ron looked around the room then turned to Harry. "Well, don't go making any plans for the next Hogsmeade weekend then. There are a lot of places we need to explore."

Harry nodded his head just as the classroom door slammed shut and Severus walked to the front of the room to begin the lesson.

* * *

After Harry's last class of the day, and about an hour and a half before dinner, he climbed the many stairs to Gryffindor tower and strolled into his dorm room. Grabbing some of his homework and stuffing it into his book bag, he went down to the common room and claimed one of the few remaining empty tables near the back corner of the room. He pulled out his Potion's text, notebook and some blank parchment from his book bag, deciding to start working on his homework. It was too close to dinner to do anything else and surprisingly he didn't want to wait until late Sunday night to start on his homework. He also didn't want to give Snape any other reason to give him a detention.

Flipping through his notebook, he found the page where he wrote the homework assignment down and read it over. "Explain, in a three foot essay, when Draught of Living Death should be administered and how and why the sopophorus bean should be crushed and not minced when added to the potion." He sighed. He hated having to write essays. Moving his textbook in front of him, he turned to the chapter on Draught of Living Death. He picked up his quill, and placing his left elbow on the hard wooden table, rested his head on his closed fist.

Harry read through the first part of the question two more times, wrote one sentence then gave up; his thoughts not on his homework. He sat there twirling his quill around with two fingers and thinking of his conversation yesterday morning with Remus. The man said he would speak with Snape about his detention, but he got the feeling it was just talk.

Remus was a kind man; had been one of his father's best friends. But unfortunately Harry felt he wasn't a huge concern for Remus. He had come to realize that on many occasions over the past three years. He wasn't expecting the man to take his father's place, but he had hoped that the man would be around and help him at times, like a concerned friend or mentor. It just seemed, to Harry, that Remus didn't put too much effort into whatever it was he was doing for him. In thinking about his detention, he figured he would just have to wait until after dinner tonight to find out if Remus helped him at all this time.

Raising his eyes from the twirling feathers flaring out on his spinning quill, Harry realized the common room was practically empty. Hearing his stomach growling, he decided it was probably time for dinner. Glancing at the clock on the far wall confirmed it. He placed his homework back in his book bag, ran upstairs and dumped it on his bed, and quickly walked down to the Great Hall for dinner.

Dinner had been as uneventful as the previous night for Harry. But at least this time Ron and Hermione joined him; though they didn't talk very much. They were too busy staring at each other. In a way he was glad for their silence. Their silence meant he didn't have to explain about the detention he was to have in an hour or why he was missing for two hours last night. He had avoided the discussion since the events happened and hoped to keep it that way.

Feeling eyes on him, Harry raised his head and looked toward the staff table. His eyes met Remus' and they smiled at each other, though the professor's smile looked a little forced. He swept his gaze along the right of the table and unfortunately his eyes then landed on the sallow face of Professor Snape. Luckily the professor had his attention on something else and didn't know Harry was looking at him. He quickly averted his eyes to the dinner on his plate and finished eating. He then bid his friends goodbye and spent the remaining time until his detention up in his dorm room.

With fifteen minutes until his detention, Harry opened his trunk, grabbed his clothes from two nights ago and changed into them. He then made his way down to the potion's classroom, hoping it would be the last time he'd have a detention with Snape for a while.

Upon entering the classroom and finding out his assignment was the same as two days ago, Harry reluctantly went into the potions storeroom and began cleaning. With Snape only checking in on him every once in a while, Harry had a lot of time to think. It was definitely obvious that Lupin never spoke to Snape about his detentions, especially after receiving crueler comments from the man than normal.

True, he told himself that he would feel better just talking about it and not caring if Lupin did anything about it, but he knew that was a lie. He hoped the professor would try to help him, even if it was to make sure he wasn't the only one to clean out the storeroom.

While removing the final four jars and bottles from one of the shelves, Harry wondered why Lupin even wanted to talk with him this year. Was it just to make Harry feel like he had an adult to talk to?

At first the talks were great. Harry learned a little about his family and about what the Marauders were like while at Hogwarts. And he got to share some things about his time since entering Hogwarts. But after a while, it seemed Remus wasn't paying that much attention to what Harry was talking about. He'd even had to repeat some of the questions he asked the professor. But, he was always telling Harry to come to him, even when he had problems. However nothing was ever done on Remus' part if Harry came to him with a problem, big or small.

And it was hard for Harry to talk with Remus at times. The questions or discussions the man started where sometimes very difficult for Harry to participate in. He had never been comfortable talking about himself. And then to feel like he wasn't even being heard made it that much worse. He felt that it was time to stop speaking to the man in that type of capacity. There was no point.

It was then that he decided he wouldn't think of the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher like a friend. He would be just a teacher to him now…like McGonagall or Flitwick. He was tired of talking and confessing difficult things to people who didn't care.

Finishing up with the shelf he was working on and beginning to place all the items back onto it, Harry also decided he wouldn't let Snape get to him anymore. He would do his best to ignore the man's vicious comments. It wasn't worth it to get upset or angry anymore, it didn't solve anything anyway. Feeling satisfied with his decisions, Harry gave a small smile.

Severus walked into the storeroom as Harry was placing the last item on the shelf. "You are dismissed Potter. Bring all your cleaning supplies to one of the desks at the front of the classroom. Then you may leave."

"Yes sir." Harry watched Severus leave the room. He then cleaned up everything he was using for his detention and brought them over to the desk. After setting them down, he quickly left the classroom and headed straight to his dorm room. He was exhausted and was looking forward to getting to bed and sleeping in tomorrow morning since it was Saturday.

* * *

Normally, Harry and Remus would meet to talk every few days. However, Harry had been avoiding the man since his detention Friday night. Whenever Remus tried to talk to him outside of class, Harry always brushed him off, muttering something about homework.

On Wednesday, after going through four days without a word from Harry, Remus knew something was up. He spent the whole day trying to corner the boy, but never found an opportunity. He finally got his chance after the last class of the day. Remus was on his way to speak with Professor McGonagall about Harry, when said boy turned the corner into the corridor he was in.

Before Harry noticed his presence in the corridor, Remus spoke. "Harry, can I have a word?"

Harry stopped walking and looked up, dread filling his stomach. "I'm sorry Professor, but I've got to get to the library to study." He knew what the man wanted to talk about and he didn't want to have the conversation.

"You can go to the library in a while, Harry. This won't take long." Remus began to slowly walk towards Harry's end of the corridor.

"I've got an essay I need to complete." Harry turned around.

"Harry…"

"I'm sorry professor. Some other time," Harry said while walking away from Remus.

"Do _not_ walk away from me Harry," he said sternly.

Surprised at Remus' tone of voice, Harry quickly stopped walking.

"We need to talk. Now!" He couldn't believe that Harry was fighting him on this. It definitely wasn't like him.

Breathing heavily, Harry quickly looked around the corridor. He was glad no one was around to hear Remus talking to him in that tone. He slowly turned around and kept his eyes on the stone floor. It actually hurt to be talked to in that tone and he didn't want Remus to see it in his face or eyes.

Remus regarded Harry before speaking. "My office. Let's go."

At Remus' no nonsense attitude, Harry obliged and followed the man to his office.

Remus opened the door and allowed Harry to enter first. Harry walked in and sat down in his usual chair, eyes still on the floor. Remus took a seat behind his desk and looked at Harry. "This stops now Harry."

"What sir?" Harry asked, feigning confusion at the professor's words.

"You know well what." He was still surprised at Harry's attitude towards him.

Harry was quiet. He wasn't going to admit anything.

Remus sighed, sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He sat there for a few moments still observing Harry. Harry was sitting on his hands and still looking at the floor. He had yet to look at him. Remus sighed again. "What did I do?"

The question and desperation in Remus' voice surprised Harry and without meaning to, he looked up and met Remus' eyes.

"What did I do Harry?"

Harry dropped his gaze and after removing his hands from under his thighs, concentrated on his hands in his lap. "Nothing."

"I don't believe that. If I haven't done anything, why have you been avoiding me since Saturday morning?"

"I haven't," Harry argued.

"You have. Every time I try to talk to you, you run away saying you've got homework."

"But I do."

"I don't believe you," Remus challenged.

Harry's anger was beginning to return. "Why?" He looked back up to Remus. "Why do you want to know? Why do we have to talk? It's not like you or anyone else cares about me anyway. Why—" Harry realized what he said and quickly shut his mouth, averting his eyes back to his lap.

Unfortunately for Harry, Remus got more out of that last sentence than all the conversations the two of them had since the summer. Remus stood from his chair, walked around the desk and sat down in the empty chair next to Harry; Harry's eyes following the professor's movements without looking up. "We'll talk about what you just said at a later time, but you know that's not the truth Harry."

Harry could feel his throat tighten. He didn't acknowledge Remus.

"Please Harry, tell me what I did wrong?" Remus pleaded.

"Why should I tell you? It's not like you going to do anything about it." He paused a few seconds. "You never have," he said gloomily.

"Ah!" the reason behind Harry's attitude dawning on him. "So this is about your detention with Professor Snape."

"Yes," Harry agreed, reluctantly looking at the man seated beside him. "I mean, no! I mean, it's…"

"Harry, I did talk to Professor Snape."

"But I thought…he was worse…he said things…" Harry rambled. He now felt sorry for treating Remus the way he had. But then again, one time helping him out of countless times wasn't acceptable; at least not for Harry.

Remus patted Harry's arm then stood up. "I'm sorry I couldn't really do anything for you with your detention with Professor Snape. I tried, but the man won't budge once his mind is made up."

"It's okay professor. Thanks for trying."

Remus gave him a smile. "Why don't you go on up to your common room. I'm sure you're friends are wondering where you are."

Harry stood up. "Yeah, right," he said a little too depressed. He didn't think his friends even noticed he was gone.

"We'll talk later Harry." Remus noticed the way Harry left and knew something else was bothering him. Hopefully he'd open up the next time they talked.

* * *

The next two weeks of November passed by without incident. Harry hadn't received any detentions from Severus, but still had to see the man in his Occlumency lessons twice a week. The lessons continued in the same fashion as the first one he had this term. Harry felt he was getting a bit better at it, but at his last lesson, Severus told him otherwise.

* * *

Sitting by himself at the table, like normal, during dinner on Friday, Harry was a bit surprised when Neville sat down next to him. He had actually been hanging out with Neville and Ginny more this year, but most often seemed to end up sitting by himself at meals.

"Hey Harry."

"Hi Neville. How was Herbology?" Harry asked, knowing that was Neville's last class of the day and his favorite.

Neville served himself some of the roast, potatoes and vegetables that were on the table. "It was great as usual. How was History of Magic?" Neville poked a potato with his fork, brought it to his mouth, and then ate it. "Did you stay awake today?"

Harry laughed. "Almost."

"Um, are you planning on going to Hogsmeade tomorrow? Ginny, Luna and I are going and were wondering if you wanted to come with us."

"I wasn't planning on it." He then thought about it. Hanging out with Ginny, Luna and Neville would be a lot more fun than what Ron and Hermione had planned, and definitely better than hanging around the school." Harry turned his head towards Neville. "Sure, I'll go with you guys."

"Great. We can all me up in the common room tomorrow morning and go there together."

"Sounds good to me," Harry said while nodding his head.

Both boys then turned their attention to their dinner. After they finished eating, they walked together to the Gryffindor common room. They were going to play exploding snap until they turned in for the night.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Press the little purple button and let me know. :)


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks so much for all the reviews. It's reassuring to know there are people out there who like what I'm writing.

For this chapter, I couldn't remember if Harry had been allowed to go to Hogsmeade after POA. So, I made it so that up to now, he always had to sneak there. Hope no one minds.

* * *

**Chapter 13**

Harry woke up, a result of his almost nightly nightmares, as the sun was beginning to rise Saturday morning. He yawned and rubbed at his eyes. Still hearing snores coming from his dorm mates, he decided to stay burrowed under his blankets. As he lay with his head against the headboard, he began to think about the Hogsmeade trip that would take place in a few hours.

He couldn't wait to get to the village. It would be his first official trip and he was really excited. He no longer had to hide under his invisibility cloak and run the risk of someone bumping into him and being discovered. And he wouldn't have to travel through the dark and dirty secret passageway to get there. He could now arrive by carriage and meander along the cobblestone streets like everyone else.

As he laid in bed thinking about the trip, he began to feel slightly guilty. Late last year he remembered telling Ron and Hermione that he would go with them for his first official trip to Hogsmeade. Even though the two were acting different and seeming to ignore him a lot of the time, he still wanted them to be with him the first time he went to the village. He knew he did say no to them when they asked him about it a week or so ago, but that was because of what they had planned. And then he turned around and yesterday told Neville he would go with him, Luna and Ginny.

Not liking the feeling that was beginning to form in his stomach, he decided it would be best if he cancelled on his three friends. He knew they would understand, eventually. Giving a large yawn, he closed his eyes and laid his head against the plump pillow. Surprisingly he fell asleep until Ron woke him later for breakfast a while later.

Still sitting at his house table after finishing breakfast, Harry searched the Gryffindor table for Neville. Spotting him farther down, he got up and walked over to the boy. "Hey Neville."

Neville set his fork on his plate and turned to Harry. "Hi Harry. Are you almost ready to go to Hogsmeade? I think we're leaving in about fifteen minutes."

"That's actually what I came over here to talk about." Harry took a seat on the bench next to Neville and extended his legs out into the aisle. "I…erm…I wanted to let you know that I won't be joining you for the Hogsmeade trip today. I was really looking forward to it, but I think it would be best if I skipped this trip."

Neville looked at Harry disappointed. He was actually looking forward to spending time with his friend without the company of Ron and Hermione for once.

"I'm sorry Neville. It's just…you see, I made a promise to Ron and Hermione last year that my first trip to the village would be with them. I'm sorry. I should have told you no when you asked me yesterday."

"Don't worry about it Harry. I understand."

Harry gave Neville a small smile. "Thanks for not being mad. Can I have a rain check for a future trip?"

Neville nodded his head. "Of course."

"Great." Harry then stood up. "I guess I better let you finish breakfast so you can leave on time. Have fun." He turned and walked out of the Great Hall and headed to the common room. He decided he would work on his homework for a few hours and then visit with Hagrid, something he hadn't been doing as often as he wanted.

After completing his Transfiguration homework later that day, Harry was on his way to Hagrid's hut. As he passed the Great Hall toward the castle entrance, he saw Remus walking toward him.

"Harry."

"Hi Professor Lupin."

Remus walked up to Harry and stopped, offering him a smile. "I missed seeing you today for our talk. As a matter of fact, I've missed you for our talks the last few weeks."

Harry stopped walking when Remus approached. "I'm sorry about today. I was working on my homework." Harry ignored Remus' comment about the last few weeks. He didn't want to explain why he never stopped by anymore.

"Homework again?" he asked, and raised his eyebrows, not truly believing Harry.

"Yes Professor," Harry began seeing the look Remus was giving him. "I was working on my Transfiguration homework so I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the weekend." He started walking towards the doors. "I wanted to spend some time with Hagrid. I haven't talked to him in quite a while."

Remus regarded Harry. "Well, as long as you're not ignoring me again." He gave Harry a smile. "Have fun. But remember you owe me a few hours."

"Yea, well…" Harry still was a little mad at the professor. After their encounter weeks ago, he still wasn't sure what type of relationship he wanted with the man.

"Don't worry about it Harry," Remus said a little disappointed. He had hoped Harry would come around.

"Goodbye sir." Harry then turned around and left for Hagrid's.

Remus stood there watching Harry walk out of the castle. He could tell something was still bothering him.

* * *

Sitting at the staff table in the Great Hall that evening, Severus thought the week didn't go fast enough for him. It seemed the dunderheads he taught were more dimwitted than usual during the entire week, though it was most likely due to the Hogsmeade weekend. It was, after all, the first visit to the village this term for all the third years and older. What really irritated him, though, was the thought of the week after this weekend. A majority of the students would no doubt be hyped up on sugar from all the Honeydukes candy they were consuming and would be even more dimwitted, if that was even possible.

Disappointed it was Saturday evening and knowing he'd only have one more quiet day to himself before classes resumed, Severus rushed through his dinner, ignoring the troubled glances from Remus sitting next to him. After finishing, he quickly slipped out the side door of the room before the werewolf could discuss his concerns and made his way to his private quarters.

Upon entering his quarters, he grumbled and lit a fire in the fireplace in his living room. He had forgotten to place a spell on it so it would light the minute he walked into the room. Wanting to be comfortable, he walked to the bedroom, shrugged out of his cloak and hung it up in his closet. Rolling up the sleeves on his long-sleeved black shirt, he wandered in to the small kitchen and made himself a cup of tea. With cup in hand, he then proceeded to the sofa in front of the fireplace and sat down, wanting to relax before he completed some tasks he needed to get done before the night was over.

An hour later and thoroughly relaxed, Severus deposited his empty tea cup into the kitchen sink to wash later. He went to his study and retrieved the box of rare potion ingredients he purchased for his personal stores earlier that morning while in Hogsmeade. He hadn't had a chance to put them away upon returning so he had left the box on an empty chair.

After grabbing the box with one hand, he flicked his wand to unlock and open the closet door. Setting his wand on the desk, he then stepped inside the closet. He placed the box on the floor and emptied it out, placing all the glass jars carefully on the shelves along the far wall. When he was done, he bent down to pick up the now empty box and spotted another box sitting right next to it. He had completely forgotten about that box. It had only been about three weeks, but it really was out of sight out of mind.

Severus stood up with the empty box in hand and set it back on the empty chair for a house elf to remove later in the evening. He went back into the closet, picked up the other box and set it down at his desk. He opened the flaps of the box and pulled out the letter. He read it over once, placed it back in the box and grabbed the red, heart-shaped bottle.

With narrowed eyes, Severus brought the bottle up and looked through the glass. Swishing the bottle back and forth a few times, he tried to tell if the substance inside was true memories. It looked like it, but he wanted to be absolutely sure before placing his face into the unknown substance. He picked up his wand and after aiming it at the bottle and muttering a few spells, he was sure the contents were real memories. He placed his wand back on the desk with his eyes never leaving the bottle.

Seemingly frozen in place, Severus stood there for another minute staring at the bottle dangling from his long potion-stained fingers. He wasn't sure if he was ready to see what his life was really like all those years ago. And he definitely wasn't ready to see that Harry was truly his son. He couldn't believe that what Lily mentioned in her letter about his reaction to having a son was true. How could he be happy that Harry was his son? Then again, at that time Harry was never anyone's son except Lily's and his. Harry was never James Potter's son all those years ago.

Deciding he had put the undesirable task off long enough, Severus placed the bottle back on the desk. He walked to locked closet in his adjoining teacher's office to retrieve the pensive he had hid away from Harry's habitual curiosity the night before. Returning to his study and setting the pensive on his desk, he carefully picked up the bottle of memories and removed the gold stopper. He poured the contents inside the pensive and watched the silvery-white contents swirl around for a few minutes, still feeling a bit apprehensive at discovering what had happened over sixteen years ago.

Taking a huge breath a few seconds later, Severus plunged his face into his swirling memories.

Thirty-five minutes later, after viewing some of the memories more than once, Severus removed his face from the pensive breathing rapidly and feeling numb from what he saw. With a shaky hand, he picked up his wand, removed the memories from the pensive and placed them back into the bottle. After carefully placing the stopper back on the bottle, he set it beside him on the desk. He then sunk down into his desk chair and placed his head in his hands. He sat there for about five minutes before muttering into his hands. "I was married to Lily." He knew Lily wrote it in her letter, but to see it for himself, that was entirely different. It wasn't until he saw his memories that he believed it to be true.

"I was married to Lily," he repeated. "She really loved me, not Potter." He had a hard time comprehending the revelation after having lived with his altered memory of the two of them for so long. For almost sixteen years his dreams consisted of Lily and what might have been if she never married James. And now, his dream ended up being the truth. Then he began to realize what could have been if he did things differently back then. "Lily might still be alive." Though he knew if given a second chance, he would probably make the same decision as the first time.

Needing a strong drink to control his swirling emotions, Severus went to his kitchen. He retrieved a bottle hidden in the back of one of the cabinets and poured himself a glass of bourbon. He took the glass back to his study, and after taking a big gulp, sat back down at his desk. If he did things differently years ago, he might actually be happy with his life and have a family. "But I do have a family," he whispered, and placed his head in his hands again. "Potter is my son." He then shivered at that thought.

The conflicting thoughts of Harry were beginning to mingle together and they were beginning to confuse him. On one hand Harry was James Potter's son. He had been for over sixteen years. And he was the spitting image of James, from his unruly hair and glasses to his arrogance. But on the other hand, Harry was his son. Lily's and his. The boy had Lily's eyes. Severus gave a small smile at that thought. Then he was reminded that Harry always had those eyes. His smile left and was replaced by a frown.

Then Severus' altered memories and feelings took over, after having lived with them for so long. "Potter is my son," he repeated in disgust. He lifted his head, grabbed the nearest thing to his hand and threw it with as much force as he could against the wall on the opposite side of room.

Not able to think clearly at all and feeling a massive headache approaching, Severus decided it best to retire to bed early. He downed the rest of his bourbon in two gulps and went to bed.

* * *

Severus' thoughts weren't any clearer upon waking the next morning. However, he knew he needed to see his real memories again before going down to breakfast. After dressing, he headed straight to his study. Remembering he placed his memories back in the bottle, he searched the top of his desk for it. Not seeing it where he remembered placing it the night before, he sat down and began frantically searching all the drawers in his desk. He needed to find that bottle. As he looked up from the last drawer, he eyes came to rest across the room. It was then he spotted the shattered bottle and liquid puddled on the stone floor.

He quickly retrieved his wand from his cloak and went to the far side of the study, kneeling in front of his spilled memories. Pointing his wand at the bottle, he muttered an incantation and the bottle repaired itself and the memories went back inside. He only hoped the air didn't have a negative effect on the memories. With bottle in hand, he carefully walked back to his desk, poured the memories back in the pensive and lowered his head into it.

Five minutes later, he raised his head out of the pensive and brushed the hair out of his face. As much as he wanted to remove his altered memories and put back his real memories, he knew he wasn't ready. He was fine with the idea of watching the memories, but he knew that if he switched out his memories, he would be feeling all the emotions associated with his real memories. He was definitely not ready for that. He needed some time to get used to the idea and come to terms with some of the revelations first.

Since he was running late, he ignored the urge to view one of his memories again and instead placed them back into the bottle. He took the bottle and letter and placed them in the top desk drawer. He then quickly made his way up to the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Good morning Severus," Remus offered as Severus took a seat next to him at the staff table.

Severus glared at Remus in return. How dare that werewolf say good morning to him and ruin his day, especially after it was starting out better than it usually did. Serving himself a little of the food in front of him, but pouring a large cup of coffee, Severus tried his best to concentrate on the breakfast in front of him. His thoughts, however, kept drifting back to his memories.

A few minutes later his thoughts were luckily interrupted when the Headmaster leaned over and asked him a question. After answering, he let his eyes wander the Great Hall, beginning at the Slytherin table and ending at the Gryffindor table in front of him. As he scanned the Gryffindor table, Severus' breath caught in his throat and he almost let out a gasp.

Harry was seated at the Gryffindor table close to the staff table and was facing Severus; his position giving the potion's master an unobstructed view. Severus was in shock at what he saw. Of course he had the boy in his classes and had seen him every day, but he never really saw him. Not until today, after having viewed his memories last night. Harry bore a strong resemblance to himself when he was that age. If he didn't know the boy was actually his son, he knew he would have thought nothing of Harry's appearance. But now…now there was no mistaking it. Harry was definitely his son.

Feeling slightly nauseated at the thought, Severus quickly stood up from the table, causing his chair to squeak loudly on the stone floor.

Remus glanced over to him at the sound. "Problem Severus?"

He looked over at Remus. "No Lupin," he responded, distracted. He glanced at Harry again. "No problem."

Remus looked in the same direction as Severus. He then understood what was bothering the man. He had obviously seen his memories within the last day or so.

Harry, Hermione and Ron were seated at the Gryffindor table in the middle of a conversation about the Hogsmeade trip yesterday. At the sound of wood scraping stone, Ron looked up to the staff table. "Harry," Ron began, seeing the potion's master staring at Harry with an almost unreadable expression. "Why is Snape looking at you like that?"

Harry lifted his eyes and looked to Severus, their eyes locking for a few moments. "Uh, I don't know," he responded quickly, and broke eye contact with his professor. He turned his attention back towards Ron. "Probably thinking of more ways to torture me this week."

"Doesn't look like he's planning any torture Harry. Looks like _he's_ being tortured."

Harry took another glance at the table.

At Harry's second glance to him, Severus mumbled an apology to the Headmaster and quickly strode out of the Great Hall.

"Huh, guess he's in a hurry," Harry said then turned his attention back to his breakfast. "All this bright light must be getting to the greasy bat."

The few students around Harry, Hermione and Ron chuckled then continued on with their breakfast.

Severus quickly descended the stairs toward the dungeons, needing to get away from the Great Hall as fast as possible. After entering his quarters and locking the door, he fell into the couch in front of the fireplace. He leaned forward and with elbows on his knees, placed his head in his hands. He sat there for about five minutes in complete silence.

He didn't know what to do. Harry resembled him so much that there was no use denying he was his son. But he just couldn't be the father to that arrogant brat no matter whom he looked like. Not knowing what to do about the whole situation, he decided it best to go speak with Dumbledore, though he really didn't want the Headmaster to be involved. But he did consider the older man as a mentor. As he rose from the couch, he remembered the Headmaster was going to be gone for a few weeks on Ministry business. That was what the question was about at breakfast…if Severus could keep an eye on things and send word if anything suspicious was happening.

Sighing, Severus sunk heavily back down on the couch. As he stared at the flames in his fireplace, he decided he needed to keep busy. Keeping busy would not leave him any time to think about Harry. Satisfied with his decision, he got up and went to his private lab to begin working on the few potions Poppy had asked to have made before the school week started tomorrow.

Brewing potions for the rest of the day kept Severus' hands busy, but not his mind. His thoughts kept drifting to his memories. Every once in a while he'd catch himself smiling at one of the memories of Lily. That act actually surprised him. He didn't know the last time he smiled a genuine smile. Then when his thoughts turned to Harry, he'd scowl. He ended up scowling most of the day.

As he sat on the couch reading a book before retiring for the night, he briefly wondered what would happen in his lessons with Potter now. He only had a few hours until he would find out.

* * *

Sorry this chapter ended so abruptly and was short. I've been trying to come up with a way to end it for a while and I've given up. :)

As always, reviews welcome...as well as suggestions.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

As the weeks wore on, it became a habit of Severus' to view some of his memories almost every morning before breakfast. He still wasn't comfortable with exchanging his memories yet so this satisfied him for the time being. He usually viewed the memories that consisted mostly of him and Lily, though at times he found himself watching all of the memories; even the ones having to do with Harry. It was after viewing the memories about Harry, however, when he became extremely vicious to the boy while in class or Occlumency lessons. He didn't know how to direct what he was feeling so he always took it out on the boy in a negative manner. Not that that was any different than normal.

Today was one of the days when Severus viewed all of his memories.

Harry reluctantly trudged down the stairs towards the dungeons for his first Occlumency lesson of the week. He was not looking forward to tonight's lesson. Over the past weeks, he had begun to realize that Snape was getting worse and worse with his criticism and taunting during class and especially during his Occlumency lessons. Coming to a stop in front of the dreaded office door, Harry knocked twice. After being granted permission, Harry entered and walked over towards the potion master's desk.

As Harry sat down, Severus, who was busy grading papers, looked up and gave him an angry glare. "I do hope you read the few chapters I assigned you last Thursday, Potter. Though with your lack of intelligence, you probably didn't comprehend a thing you were reading."

Harry kept quiet and returned the glare, trying to keep his promise to himself not to care what the man in front of him was saying.

Severus placed his quill on the parchment he was reading, stood up and grabbed his wand. He slowly rounded the desk until he was on the same side as Harry. "Stand up and face me," he growled. He had been in a bad mood since the staff meeting that morning, and after mistakenly viewing all his real memories that afternoon, he was in an even worse mood. Just the sight of the Harry was irritating him immensely.

Scooting his chair back quietly, Harry stood up and faced Severus. As soon as eye contact was made, Severus raised his wand and yelled the incantation to enter Harry's mind.

As soon as Snape's office blurred in front of Harry, his memories were quickly being rifled through. It seemed Snape was on a mission tonight. The first memories his professor looked for were the ones where he was in pain.

…_Dudley and his gang finding him and repeatedly punching him while playing Harry Hunting…being hit by the Cruciatus Curse from Voldemort…lying on his makeshift bed in his cramped cupboard sick with the flu…falling off his broom while at Quidditch practice…Uncle Vernon dragging him through the house by his hair…breaking his arm after falling out of a tree…his head feeling like it was going to explode whenever he had a vision..._

Harry tried his hardest to push out Snape, but he couldn't. He tried thinking back to what he read in the book, but it didn't help.

Snape, noticing Harry was unable to do anything, continued his searching.

…_Standing in front of the Mirror of Erised looking longingly at his parents with their hands on his shoulders…learning his Godfather was innocent and wanted Harry to live with him…hugging Sirius at Grimmauld Place after almost two years apart…watching as the Weasley's parents hugged their children goodbye on the Hogwarts Express platform and yearning to experience that…watching Cedric die…watching Sirius fall through the veil…_

After a while, Harry realized Snape was viewing those same memories over and over. _No! _"Stop….no!" he yelled. A few seconds later, Snape's presence was finally gone from his mind. He slowly opened his eyes and found himself lying on the floor breathing rapidly.

"Pathetic," Snape growled while putting his wand away and sneering at the boy on the floor. "Absolutely pathetic."

Shaking, and in a little pain, Harry stood up slowly and glared at the man in front of him. "Happy?" he asked sounding more upset then he wanted. Removing his eyes from the potion's master, Harry quickly started towards the office door. "I'm out of here."

Before Severus knew what was going on, his office door slammed shut and Harry was gone. Staring at the door, he knew he forgot to do something after the boy entered his office. He forgot to spell the door locked. Taking a deep breath, he turned back towards his desk and sat down. "At least I have more time to myself tonight." He then went back to grading the papers in front of him.

As he reread the first paragraph of the paper in front of him for the third time, he dropped his quill and shook his head. The incident with Harry bothered him more than he thought it should. True, under normal circumstances, he would never do to the boy what he did tonight. He couldn't really explain why he did what he did. He just knew it had to do with his real memories and his conflicting emotions. He was having too hard a time with it. Needing to resolve the growing problem, he decided he would try to come up with a solution as soon as possible.

He also knew that he owed Harry an apology, though he'd never given one to any of his students during his entire teaching career at Hogwarts. Unfortunately he had less than two days to figure out that problem.

* * *

Not wanting to go back to the Gryffindor common room or his dorm, since he knew he'd be questioned by his friends, Harry headed towards the Owlrey after storming out of Snape's office. After finding his snowy white owl, he walked over to her and stood there stroking her feathers while he calmed down. Then, reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a treat and gave it to her. After Hedwig nipped his fingers, Harry returned to the doorway and sat against the threshold wall. Angry and upset over Snape's intrusion into his mind, Harry decided that tonight would be his last Occlumency lesson. Unless, of course, the Headmaster bodily made him attend.

Harry sat up in the Owlrey for another half hour before heading down to this dorm room.

* * *

After staring at the paper in front of him, Severus realized it was pointless to continue grading papers. His head wasn't in it. Instead he was still thinking about Harry and his memories. He then knew what he had to do.

Since the boy ran out an hour early, he had a lot more time on his hands for the evening than he planned. He placed the paper he was reading on top of the stack on the side of his desk and set down his quill. He opened the drawer on his right, pulled out the heart-shaped bottle and walked to his quarters, extinguishing the torches and candles in the room on his way.

After entering his quarters and making sure all entrances were locked, including the floo, he sat on the couch and removed the stopper from the bottle. With a shaky hand, he withdrew his wand from his robes, removed the memories from the bottle and placed the tip of his wand to his temple.

The emotions he felt the minute he started reliving his real memories completely overwhelmed him, and he quickly lay down on his couch. He was then glad he decided to experience the memories when he had more time before he had to face anyone. The feelings were beyond anything he could have possibly imagined. He felt pure happiness, anger, fear and sadness within a span of no more than fifteen minutes.

As soon as he finished viewing all his real memories, Severus placed them back in the bottle and set it on the table in front of him, to return to his office later. He was still not ready to change out the memories.

As he lay there in shock and still trying to absorb everything he saw and finally felt, he noticed that once he took out his real memories a minute amount of emotions and feelings stayed behind. That scared him a little bit. He hoped that the small amount of emotions wouldn't grow. Since he wasn't ready, he wasn't sure how it would affect his daily life if they did grow.

He knew he had to get used to everything associated with his memories, especially the emotions, so he decided he would add his real memories to his altered ones every few days until he felt comfortable. When, or if, he felt he couldn't live without the emotions and feelings of his real memories, he would then remove his altered ones. Until that time, he would be experiencing both sets of memories and emotions.

* * *

Remus was sitting in his office late the next afternoon, thinking about Harry. The boy had finally come to talk with him after lunch today. Remus was glad, but disappointed it took so long for Harry to come seek him out. It had been two and a half weeks since the two spoke.

Knowing that Severus had more than likely viewed his memories almost three weeks ago and that he hopefully spoke with Harry, he expected Harry to come to him to talk about it. But, much to his disappointment, Harry never mentioned it. It didn't even seem like he knew Severus was his father. After Harry left his office an hour later, Remus decided it was time to butt in on Severus and Harry's lives.

Remus found the opportunity after dinner that night. He had barely begun eating when Severus left the Great Hall early. After the man was half way to the door, he quietly got up and followed him out into the corridor.

After closing the door behind him, Remus glancing around to be sure no students were mulling about before speaking. "I can't believe you still haven't told him," Remus said loud enough so Severus would hear him. He watched as Severus stiffened and stopped walking.

Not likeing that he was being followed, and by the werewolf no less, Severus whirled to glare at him angrily. "Told who what? I haven't the slightest idea what you're on about…" Severus growled, but was cut off by a sharp returned gaze from Remus.

"You know very well who and what I mean, Severus." Remus walked up to stand beside Severus. "It's been sixteen years."

"How do you…" he began, puzzled. He couldn't figure out what Remus was going on about.

Before Severus could finish, Remus pulled out the letter he received from Lily months ago. He kept it on him every day. Severus nodded slightly, remembering Lily sent him a letter as well. "He has a right to know the truth, Severus…and to know the real you."

"Know me?! Why in the hell does he have a right to know me? For all I know, it's some stupid prank!" Severus yelled, and turned to stalk away. He didn't want to discuss the matter with the man. Remus, however, latched tightly onto his shoulder and forced him to stay his ground. "Let me go werewolf," he growled.

Remus kept his grip. For a moment, he didn't say anything, his expression shifting between concern and disbelief. "You know it's not a prank Severus." He watched the man breathe deeply a few times. "You've got to tell him! He'll probably find out on his own eventually. Haven't you seen how much his appearance has changed these past few months?" He let go of Severus' shoulder seeing the man wasn't going to stalk off.

Severus slumped against the stone wall, defeated. He knew Remus was right. That and he couldn't get over what he saw and felt when he finally experienced his memories the night before. He stood for another minute before continuing. "Can you imagine what would happen were he to know?" he asked, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. "Me? His father? You can't honestly expect that he'd be happy in the least."

Remus noticed the change in Severus' demeanor. He walked over to the wall, leaned his left shoulder against it and crossed his arms over his chest. "You don't know how much Harry wants a family and someone to care about him. You didn't see him before I brought him to Order headquarters before start of term, or talked with him these past few months. He's given up Severus. I have a feeling that if he ever comes across Voldemort again, he's not even going to fight."

That last statement shocked Severus, but he didn't show it. He tried to ignore it instead. "I am not the type of person that can be a father," he finally stated.

"Oh, so that's it…"

"What?" he questioned, his brow narrowed.

"You don't think you're worthy…" Remus continued.

"I'll be astounded if you can think of anyone less worthy. I was a Death Eater. I've done more evil than I can rightly remember." Severus moved his gaze from the wall in front of him to the man standing beside him. "I'm not worthy of being anyone's parent, Remus" he said sadly. "Besides, I wouldn't even know how." He stood there waiting for a sarcastic remark from Remus but none ever came. "How do you think Harry would feel? Having lived a lie for sixteen years?" Severus stood up and started pacing the corridor. After one trek, he stopped and turned around to Remus. "You obviously have taken a liking to him, what do you think it would do to him if he were to discover that his real father was a murderer? A conscienceless follower of the Dark Lord? A cruel, bitter teacher hated by the entire school?" He turned away from Remus and continued with his pacing. "It'd break him, I've no doubt that it would," he said in an almost whisper.

"I thought that might be your reason. And it just proves that you need to get to know him." When Severus' pacing brought him back to the wall Remus was lying against, Remus grabbed his arm, turning him to face him. "What do you think he'll feel once he finds out all you sacrificed by willingly having your memory altered just to try to keep Lily and him safe?"

Severus shrugged out of Remus' grip. "He's better off with his life the way it is…living with the Dursley's; and thinking his parents died so he could live."

Getting tired of standing and watching Severus pace, Remus motioned for the man to follow him and the two sat down on the steps leading down towards the dungeons. "Have you heard about the Dursley's at all? The Muggle family he lives with?"

"Of course not. I don't tend to bother with 'gossip.'"

"I've noticed," he said, earning a glare from Severus. "You really wouldn't have learned much anyway. Harry doesn't like to talk about them at all. I'm afraid I found out a little rather by accident…"

"Found out what?"

"Have you ever seen Harry getting mail in the Great Hall? Or going home for the Christmas holidays?"

"No, but I hardly see what that has to do with anything."

"The Dursley's hate magic. They think Harry is a freak and do everything in their power to keep him from coming here every year. Did you know that for his first eleven years, he had to sleep locked in a cupboard under the stairs?"

Severus' thoughts slowly drifted to the many memories he'd seen of Harry's during his Occlumency lessons last year and this year.

"I'd bet my life that they would love nothing more than to be rid of him," Remus continued. "One year, the Weasley's had to break Harry out of the house. The Dursley's put bars on the windows, like it were a prison, and were starving him."

"With the way that boy obeys rules, it's no wonder he's punished," he stated, though he wasn't sure if he believed what he just said.

Remus continued after watching Severus lower his gaze to the floor. "Over this past summer holiday before I removed Harry from the Dursley's, I watched his cousin beat him up. I don't know if you noticed the bruises on his arms those first few days of term. I think it was a regular occurrence, based on some comments he made to me. He's probably hiding other injuries as well."

Severus' head snapped up and he looked at Remus in disbelieve. "He what? He was being beaten up and you just watched?" he asked incredulously. He couldn't believe the werewolf would just stand by and watch as Harry was being hurt. And he also couldn't believe how enraged he felt at the fact that Harry was being hurt and possibly abused. Months ago, he would have felt somewhat elated at that knowledge.

Remus looked at Severus with a small smile playing on his lips. He was glad that Severus was beginning to feel protective of Harry. "Tell Harry," he said seriously a few seconds later.

"I can't, you know that," he breathed.

"He's your son, Severus."

"I'm aware of that…," he stated plainly.

"Then say it. Admit it out loud."

Severus met Remus' eyes. "Fine. Harry…" The name stuck on his tongue. "Harry is my son." He couldn't believe the emotion he felt the second those four little words spilled out of his mouth.

Remus smiled at the potion's master. "Now promise you will tell Harry, and soon."

"I promise that I will tell…Pot…" he stopped at Remus' raised eyebrows. "I promise I will tell Harry the truth before the new year. Are you happy now?

"Yes, but you must understand that I am not doing this for me. I'm doing this for Harry…and for you."

"Me?"

"Yes. You have a son, Severus. You have as much right to know him as he does you. You're both the only real family either of you has." Remus watched Severus nod his head. He then stood up, placed his hand on the man's shoulder, and then headed up to his office. He wanted to leave Severus with those thoughts.

Severus sat there thinking about all that had just happened and had been reveled. He knew it was a big step admitting it out loud that Harry was his son. But he also knew that it didn't mean he was comfortable enough to change out his memories. Plus, he decided it would be best to leave them in the bottle in the event an opportunity arose to inform Harry.

Severus continued to sit on the steps thinking until he heard students leaving the Great Hall in the distance. Then he got up and quickly descended the remaining stairs to his quarters.

* * *

When the time for Harry's Thursday evening Occlumency lesson came, Harry was half way down to the dungeons before remembering he wasn't going to attend his lessons anymore. He quickly backtracked and headed up to the Astronomy tower instead. He wasn't sure if any of his friends noticed his schedule on Tuesday and Thursday nights, but he decided to stay away from the common room to be on the safe side.

Letting out a sigh after seeing the tower empty, Harry slowly walked to one of the ledges and climbed up on it. He rested his back against the wall, wrapped his arms around his knees and closed his eyes.

His thoughts drifted to his Occlumency lesson with Snape two days ago. The memories Snape viewed almost five times in a row were still fresh in his mind, especially all the ones with Sirius, and he couldn't stand it. He had tried so hard to forget what happened but the pain was beyond bearable now.

He opened his eyes and stared up at the twinkling stars in the cloudless night sky. After searching the sky for a few minutes, Harry's eyes landed on the constellation Sirius. His throat tightened and he felt pressure behind his eyes.

It had been the first time since that day at the Ministry that he actually looked at the constellation. During his fourth year and early fifth year, the constellation had been a comfort to him. When he couldn't see or talk with his godfather, he would go up to the Astronomy tower and talk to Sirius the constellation. It was stupid really, but it brought him great comfort. It was also one thing he never shared with his friends.

"Sirius, I need you. I could have finally had a family…something I need now. Why did you have to die?" he whispered up to the sky. He closed his eyes and felt tears building behind his eyelids. A few escaped and he wiped them away angrily. He was not going to cry.

After sitting up there for about an hour thinking, luckily with only a few more tears, Harry started down the circling stairs of the Astronomy tower. He wasn't ready to be in the company of anyone, and it would be too suspicious if he went up to his bed so early, so when he reached the bottom, he decided to wander the corridors of the castle.

* * *

Severus sat at his desk making notes for tomorrow's second years potions lesson while waiting for Harry to show up for his Occlumency lesson. As the minutes dragged on with no sign of Harry, he started to become aggravated. He didn't teach these lessons because he enjoyed them. Quite the opposite actually. If the Headmaster didn't force him, he wouldn't be sitting there waiting for Harry to show up. He actually had better things to do instead of teaching the dimwitted boy.

After sitting there waiting for a little over an hour, he slammed the book closed in front of him and stood up from his desk. He was furious and, if he would admit it, a little worried. It definitely wasn't like the boy to not show up. Arriving late? Yes. But not showing up at all? No. He shouldn't have been worried about Potter at all. Or so he kept telling himself. But he couldn't shake the feeling. Besides, he wasn't really a Potter was he? He had finally said it out loud yesterday to Remus and to himself. Harry was _his_ son…a Snape; not currently in name but definitely in blood.

He pulled his robes on and headed out of his office. He ascended the stairs towards Professor McGonagall's office, wanting to give her a piece of his mind, and, though he wouldn't admit his worry to her, to find out what the boy had been up to for the past hour. As he reached the floor for the Gryffindor's Head of House, he spotted Harry coming down the stairs from the Astronomy tower and begin to walk in the opposite direction.

"Potter" growled Severus from across the corridor, all thoughts now on the time that was wasted waiting for the boy to show up.

Harry's eyes went wide and he stopped walking. He stood, his back facing Severus, and was beginning to breathe faster. This was the last person he wanted to see tonight, especially after what had been on his mind this past hour.

Severus quickly stalked over to the boy, stopping a few feet behind him. "Potter," he growled again.

Chills ran down Harry's spine at Severus' voice. He had never heard his professor sound like that before. Slowly, he turned around to face his furious teacher. "Y…yes sir?" he said, voice shaking.

"Because of your lack of consideration, you will be spending the rest of November with me in detention." He walked closer to Harry and bent down so his face was level with his. When he met Harry's slightly red-rimmed and shiny eyes, his look turned to concern. It lasted only a second before he quickly replaced it with his usual scowl. "You do not want to face the consequences of pulling another stunt like you did tonight, Potter."

Harry's sadness over Sirius was beginning to turn to anger. "_My_ lack of consideration? What about yours, sir?" he began, not caring what the man in front of him would do to him. "You're the one who keeps viewing my most painful memories over and over just for pure pleasure. I don't have to accept that." He began to walk away. "I didn't ask for these stupid lessons anyway."

"No Potter," Severus began, following Harry. "You didn't." Upon reaching the boy, he grabbed him by the arm and turned him around to face him. He moved both his hands to Harry's shoulders.

"Let go of me," Harry yelled, and tried to wiggle out of the man's grip.

Severus tightened his hold on Harry's shoulders. "If you actually cared about learning Occlumency last year, Potter," Severus began, then shook the boy a few times while he continued, "you wouldn't have gotten your precious mutt of a Godfather killed."

Since Sirius had already been at the front of his mind, Snape's words were more devastating to Harry than they normally would have been. Slowly, he began to break. "I didn't kill him. You did." Tears started welling up in his eyes, but he willed them not to fall, he didn't want to finally start crying for Sirius now. "You're the one that got Sirius killed."

Never seeing the boy in this state and on the verge of crying, Severus just stood there staring at him. At that moment, he couldn't describe what he was feeling as he watched Harry and could feel his body shaking under hands.

"You killed Sirius!" he screamed and almost wiggled free from Severus.

Severus again tightened his grip. "Potter."

"Let go of me," he cried. Upon realizing that Snape wasn't loosening his grip, Harry started hitting him in the chest with his fists, hoping that would release him. "I didn't kill him. You killed him. You hated him. You hated him for what he did to you in school so much that you let him die." Harry began pounding harder on Severus' chest while still trying to get free from the man's grip. "You didn't listen to me in Umbridge's office. If you did, Sirius would be alive. You killed him. You ruined everything. Because of you, I don't have a family. I hate you!"

Severus didn't care that Harry was pounding on his chest, or that he'd more than likely have many painful ribs and bruises in the morning. What he cared about were those last three sentences from Harry's mouth. They stung Severus more than he thought possible and he tried to push the feelings aside. He definitely needed to analyze them later.

"How do you think the Order knew where to find you, Potter?" Severus asked quietly after a few seconds.

After letting that sentence sink in, Harry immediately stopped his pounding and fell against Severus' chest. "I _did_ kill him," he whispered, and the tears that he had been desperately trying to hold back began to fall. "I didn't learn Occlumency. _I_ killed him."

"You didn't kill him Potter. Voldemort, in a round about way, did," Severus responded quietly, not completely sure why he was trying to console the boy.

Harry didn't say anything to Severus' comment. He just continued to cry with his head against his professor's chest. "I killed him," he whispered a few seconds later. "Because of me, I don't have a family. I killed him and ruined everything."

Before Severus knew what he was doing, he lowered his hands from Harry's shoulders and wrapped them around the crying boy, pulling him into a comforting hug.

When Harry felt arms wrapping around him, all thoughts of who he was with disappeared. He latched onto Severus robes, buried his face in the man's chest, and began crying harder, much to the confusion of Severus. The act was something Harry had always wanted since he was little and he had never experienced it. The Dursley's never offered him any type of comfort as he grew up and now finally receiving it, he didn't want to give it up. He tightened his grip on Severus' robes and continued to cry.

The two stood like that for what seemed like hours, though it was only about ten minutes. Once Harry began to calm down, he realized where he was and who he was with. With conflicting feelings, he quickly pulled out of Severus' arms and ran to the Gryffindor common room.

Severus watched the boy run down the corridor and out of sight. He wasn't sure what happened in the last fifteen minutes or what he even felt about it. Running a hand through his hair, he turned around and went down to his chambers. He had a lot to think about.

* * *

The dialog between Remus and Severus may be familiar to you. I pulled it from the initial Severitus challenge.

I've gone and deleted my ranting posted down here yesterday. Sorry about that.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

A blur of black robes descended the stairway towards the dungeons. After the incident with Harry a few floors up, Severus wasn't wasting any time in returning to his private quarters. Upon entering, he spelled the door locked behind him. He slipped out of his robes, depositing the black material on a nearby chair, and sank into his couch. Sitting for only a few minutes, he decided that with the way he was feeling he needed something to take the edge off. He went to his kitchen, retrieved a bottle of fire whiskey and a glass and returned to the couch.

He poured himself a few fingers of the liquor and sat there staring at the amber liquid. Bringing the glass to his lips, he realized that he had been drinking more frequently than he ever had in the past. Normally, a bottle of fire whiskey the size in front of him would last the entire term. With the way he was going, he'd be lucky if the bottle lasted another few weeks. After a few sips, Severus set his glass on the table and sunk down further into the couch closing his eyes, his mind replaying the past two days events.

Severus knew he was guilty of causing Harry's breakdown not more than a half hour before. He knew his comments were extremely uncalled for, but he never expected the reaction he received from Harry. It actually shocked him to see the boy crying. He had expected the boy's normal cheek, not a breakdown. It was at that point when he knew he went too far. And he did remember seeing Harry's red-rimmed watery eyes early on. He should have known to stop harassing Harry then, but he couldn't help himself. It was always like it was James standing in front of him, not Harry. And he wanted James to suffer like he had at his hands when he was Harry's age, even though a little voice inside him was screaming that the boy in front of him was _his_ son and didn't deserve being spoken to like that.

In thinking back, it had been obvious that this was the first time Harry had grieved over his godfather. But he felt there was something else there as well. He remembered feeling it the minute Harry clung to his robes after he pulled the boy into a comforting hug. That action itself caused Severus great discomfort. He didn't know why he tried to console the boy. It wasn't in his nature. That kind of comfort, or any comfort in general, was never offered to anyone, including his own House. But as he stood there watching Harry fall apart, that was all he could think of doing. And this both annoyed and bothered him. He felt he shouldn't care about the boy, but at the same time knew that he should.

Taking a few deep breaths, Severus reached a hand up and rubbed at his temples, a pounding headache beginning to set in due to his conflicting thoughts about Harry. Wanting to dull the pain, he quickly retrieved and downed a headache potion from his stores and sunk back down on the couch.

His thoughts next drifted to his conversation yesterday evening with Remus. He couldn't believe that man; always trying to butt in where he wasn't needed or wanted. Why the werewolf wanted to be involved in his life was beyond him. They were enemies. He also knew that Harry meant a lot to Remus, though lately their relationship seemed a little strained; not that he would admit to taking notice. But that still didn't give Remus the right to interfere. It wasn't his life.

At least he knew he got the man off his back for a little while. He only agreed to Remus' request to appease him. He had no intention of telling Harry the truth, though he did recall thinking earlier this week that he wanted to tell the boy at some point. He just didn't know why he wanted to tell the brat. He did not want to be Harry's father. But, if far in the future he did decide to tell Harry, it would be when he thought he was ready. Not by what other's wanted. It was his life after all.

* * *

Harry ran as fast as he could toward the Gryffindor tower, swiping at tears that were still spilling down his cheeks. He couldn't believe what had just happened and with who. The last person he wanted to show weakness in front of was Snape.

As he approached the portrait of the fat lady, he realized his friends might still be sitting around the common room. Normally when he went back to his dorm room after his Occlumency lessons, the common room was practically empty, and if it wasn't, his friends were off somewhere together. But it was still a bit early for him to be coming back tonight and he didn't want a confrontation with his friends if they saw that he'd been crying. Instead of gaining access for the portrait hole, Harry walked past the hidden entrance and decided to seek out one of the empty classrooms. He'd hide out and wait for a while before heading to his dorm room.

After a few minutes of searching, Harry found an empty classroom. Closing the heavy wooden door behind him, he sat down at one of the desks, folded his arms on the top and rested his chin on his arms. Unfortunately he couldn't help but think about the last hour and his breakdown in front of Snape. At that thought, he felt his face burn with embarrassment. If was the very first time he grieved for Sirius and what he lost all those months ago, and of course it had to be in front of Snape. Another sign the world was out to make his life as miserable as possible.

He still couldn't believe he cried in front of the potion's professor. Then he remembered how, as he began to lose it, Snape pulled him into a hug. And the hug was different than any he could ever remember receiving. It was comforting. It definitely wasn't the same type he received when greeting his friends after the summer holidays every year or even by Mrs. Weasley. He then realized the feeling he received from Snape's hug was the same feeling he got when Sirius had hugged him.

Harry then began laughing; laughing so hard tears were in his eyes. After he brushed them away, he noticed the tears continued to fall and he wasn't laughing anymore. He was crying instead. He finally received the comfort he had been denied for the past sixteen years and it came from the person he hated most in the word...after Voldemort of course. "That man is sick," Harry said aloud to the empty classroom. "What's he playing at? I guess I'll be hearing comments about this tomorrow in his class." At that thought, Harry's hatred for the man grew and he stopped crying, now extremely hurt and angry. Wiping a few remaining tears away Harry laid his head down on his arms and stared at the top of the desk trying to rid his mind of everything that happened the entire day.

When he was satisfied he was calm enough and there were no telltale signs that he'd been crying, he headed to the Gryffindor tower. He gained access and the minute he stepped in, Hermione rushed over to him, with Ron following closely behind.

"Harry, where have you been?" Hermione asked while dragging him by the arm to the couch in front of the fireplace. "We've been worried about you?"

Harry looked at Ron who was standing behind Hermione.

"You were supposed to be back an hour ago Harry," Ron added.

Harry looked at the two, confused. He didn't think his friends noticed his schedule or that he had been hiding out for so long.

Hermione interrupted his thoughts. "The least you could have done was let us know where you were."

"Sorry, Hermione," Harry said gloomily while shrugging his shoulders, his previous thoughts still not completely gone from his mind. "I didn't think--"

"No, you never do anymore Harry," Hermione cut in rather sternly. "We've been waiting on you for a while now. You should know better than to just wander off without telling anyone. It isn't safe."

Harry couldn't believe what Hermione was saying. And after what he been through the past few hours, he definitely wasn't in the mood to talk about it. That and the fact that most of the time he was being ignored by his friends. "Hermione I don't want to discuss this. I've got other things on my mind."

"But Harry, you need to stop…"

"No Hermione, you need to stop," he stated shortly. "I'm getting tired of you criticizing me for every little thing I do or don't do." His eyes then shifted to Ron who had been quiet for the entire conversation, and waited for him to say something. When the redhead didn't utter a word, he then looked back to Hermione. "I'm not discussing this now. I'm going to bed." He quickly turned away from his friends, not noticing the hurt look in Hermione's eyes, and stormed up to his dorm room.

* * *

Severus swept to the front of the class after completing his lecture. "You may begin brewing." He sat at his desk and watched as his students start to brew. His eyes immediately found Harry. The boy didn't seem his usual self. Since class began he was being very quiet. As far as he could tell, Harry hadn't said a single word in class at all; very unusual for him. He figured it must be because of what happened last night.

Just as he was getting ready to concentrate on grading the pop quiz he had collected earlier from his sixth years, Harry looked up and met his eyes. After a few seconds, Severus dropped his gaze to the papers in front of him. He was having a hard time not criticizing the boy. But before class he promised himself he would leave Harry alone today. And so far, so good.

After Severus dropped his gaze, Harry shook his head and began working on his potion. He couldn't believe his professor had yet to say anything to him. He was certain Snape would start to humiliate and taunt him the minute he stepped into the room.

When class ended forty-five minutes later, Harry quickly grabbed his bag and made his way towards the door, wanting to get out of the room as quick as possible.

"Potter, stay behind," Severus spoke, right as Harry was two feet from the door.

Harry stopped abruptly and took a few deep breaths while watching everyone else leave the room. _This is it. At least he waited until everyone was gone before he started to humiliate me._ He turned around and slowly walked to the front of the classroom, keeping his eyes on the ground.

"Don't forget you received detention tonight Potter." Severus watched Harry jerk his head up and make eye contact. "Be back here by 6:30."

Harry stared at his potion's professor in shock. "Yes sir," he finally replied.

Severus looked the boy up and down. "You are dismissed."

Without another word, Harry quickly left the potion's classroom and headed to his next class.

* * *

Harry found himself standing in front of the potion's classroom at 6:27 that night. He was tempted to skip, but decided against it. He didn't want to risk skipping on Occlumency and a detention back to back. Who knew what Snape would do to him. Resigning to his fate and deciding to get the dreaded evening over, Harry knocked on the wooden door.

After being let in to the classroom, Severus didn't say a word to him, just pointed a finger at the potion's storeroom. After watching the professor go into another room, Harry quietly walked into the storeroom. He sighed as he looked around the room. Nothing had changed in the past few weeks. He had hoped that someone else would be cleaning the storeroom out for their detention as well. No such luck so far.

Severus was in an awful mood. Earlier he was trying to retrieve a memory he accidentally placed in his pensive. Instead of retrieving that memory, he mistakenly retrieved a horrible memory of him, James, Sirius, and Remus from his fourth year. After placing that memory back in his pensive and retrieving the correct one, he was livid. He was on a mission tonight; a mission to make Harry pay for what his father did to him all those years ago. Unfortunately all thoughts about who Harry really was were no longer in the front of his mind.

Forty-five minutes into the detention, Severus walked into the storeroom, glanced around and watched Harry for a few minutes. He now knew exactly how to make Harry pay.

When the boy placed a jar back on the shelf and had empty hands, he spoke up. "Potter, your attempt to clean this room is deplorable." He sneered at Harry when the boy jumped and turned to face him. "By the looks of this room, I suspect the boy-who-lived never had to clean up after himself. I expect being waited on hand and foot by your relatives wouldn't give much time to learn how to clean, right?"

"You don't know what you're talking about. I always had—" Harry began, angrily.

"Silence," Severus broke in, his voice menacing. "I do not want to hear your excuses." He walked over to the shelf Harry had been working on and assessed its cleanliness. He whirled around to face Harry. "You will start over cleaning this shelf. It is unacceptable." He turned around to leave the room.

Harry stood gaping at the potion's master with his mouth open. _You've got to be kidding me._ "I've been working on this shelf since I got in here sir." He stepped onto the ladder and glanced at the shelf in question. "I don't see anything wrong with it. It looks perfectly clean to me." He stepped back on to the floor, and continued in a whisper, though his gut told him to keep his mouth shut like he promised himself weeks ago, "I think you need to get your eyes checked."

Severus, who had been almost out the door, turned around and stormed towards Harry, causing the boy to take a few steps back and nearly tripping over the ladder behind him. He leaned over Harry, who was now almost sitting on the steps of the ladder, grasped the sides of the ladder and glared at him. "What did you just say boy?" he asked threateningly.

As Severus went to grasp the ladder behind Harry, all Harry saw were hands coming towards him. He cowered at Snape's action, menacing glare and tone of voice. After gaining his balance and not thinking straight, he quickly brought his hands up to protect his face. The entire situation brought back terrible memories from Harry's time at the Dursley's when he was younger. "Please, no," Harry pleaded almost in a whisper, his body beginning to shake. "I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...please don't." Harry then curled in on himself, hands protecting his face.

"Potter," Severus spat, ignoring Harry's rambling. He looked at the boy in confusion, and when he saw he wasn't getting a response, he removed his hands from the ladder and backed away a few steps. He tried speaking with less malice, though he failed miserably, and also found he couldn't help the words coming out of his mouth. "Stop your inane muttering this instant and stand up."

Severus' icy voice brought Harry back to his present situation. He sat on the ground for a few seconds just staring at his shoes while an embarrassed flush crept up his neck and face. He couldn't believe what he just did. He knew the professor was not his uncle, nor would he hurt him, but he seemed to be acting on instinct, not what he knew was the truth. Breathing hard, he slowly uncurled his body and stood up, keeping his eyes on the ground in front of him. He had just embarrassed himself beyond belief and did not want to look at the professor in the eyes.

Ignoring what had just happened, Severus continued. "You will remove all the jars and vials from the shelf, clean the shelf thoroughly, _again_, and place the items back on the shelf. After that, you are dismissed."

"Yes, Professor," he said quietly, finally getting his breathing under control.

Nodding at Harry, Severus started walking back towards the classroom. Just as he was about to pass the threshold, he turned around. "I don't want to see you again until your Occlumency lesson on Tuesday, Mr. Potter."

Harry gave Snape a questioning look. Just the night before the man told him he had detention every day for the rest of the month. Now he didn't want to see him until Tuesday? He knew he should keep his mouth shut and take the opportunity to have three Snape-free days, but he really didn't want to get on his professor's even worse side if he didn't show up to a detention. "Erm, sir? I thought you said I had detention every day for the rest of the month?"

Raised eyebrows were Severus' only response.

Not sure why the man was letting him off his detentions and not wanting to question it in the event Snape changed his mind, Harry decided to let the subject drop. "Thank you sir," Harry said quietly before returning to the completely unnecessary task he had to do.

Nodding at the still slightly shaking boy in front of him, Severus swept out of the room. After listening intently to the room to be sure Harry was back to work, Severus sat at his desk staring at his hands.

He didn't know what had come over him in that room. The shelf he inspected was surprisingly clean, almost looking like new. He really hated having all the conflicting memories and feelings. It was driving him crazy.

As he listened to the faint clinking of glass coming from the storeroom, he decided that what really bothered him was Harry's reaction just a few minutes ago. Actually, he was more worried about Harry's reaction than what he'd done and said to the boy. It seemed the boy was terrified of him. For the past five years he would have relished in that thought. But now it troubled him.

Shaking his head to remove all the thoughts from his mind, Severus picked up the quill on his desk and started grading the papers his second years turned in that morning.

* * *

Sorry if this chapter seems to end abruptly. I had major problems writing it. I'm not happy with the ending, but it'll have to do.

Also, thank you all for your encouraging and kind reviews from the last chapter. As I mentioned to some of you, my A/N was fueled mostly by some discouraging emails about my writing (more importantly why I was wasting time posting a very bad story). And a few days after posting that chapter, I realized what an idiot I was with my A/N (and reminding myself that I told myself never to write what I did in my A/N) so I went back in and deleted my comments. Hopefully I won't beg (or even ask) for any more reviews. As a lot of you pointed out, and I _do_ know, I'm writing this for my enjoyment, not yours. So I shouldn't care if I get 1 review or 999 reviews. But I still hope you all enjoy reading it and want to continue with it until the end. :)

Thanks for listening (or would that be reading) to my rambling.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

With two buckets full of his latest acquisition from the greenhouses, thanks to Professor Sprout's notification earlier during lunch, Severus began the trek back towards his quarters to place the recently cultivated plants in his potion's storeroom. As he stepped from the grass to the cobblestone steps in front of one of the side entrances to the castle, a sharp pain in his left forearm shocked him into almost dropping the two buckets. While grimacing, he placed the buckets in his left hand, gripped his forearm with his right and rushed down to his quarters. Not more than three minutes later, he deposited the buckets on his desk, grabbed his Death Eater attire, and made his way to the apparition point.

Severus returned to the grounds of Hogwarts two hours later with his Death Eater robes and mask in his hand. Upon entering the castle, he slowly made his way up to the Headmaster's office, wincing every few steps. He stopped in front of the stone gargoyle and closed his eyes, wanting to revel in a few pain free seconds. He then slowly opened his eyes and muttered Dumbledore's latest password. "Pop rocks."

At the password, the stone gargoyle sprung aside to reveal the spiral staircase that led to the headmaster's office. Severus, who would normally walk up the moving staircase, stepped onto the first step and let the staircase slowly bring him up to the top. He was too weak and in pain to walk any more than he had to. After stepping off the staircase, he stopped in front of the huge oak door. He was about to reach for the brass griffin knocker when he heard the Headmaster beckon him inside and the door started to open. When the space was wide enough, Severus entered the office and took a seat in the nearest chair.

Before Severus could even open his mouth to begin speaking, the Headmaster began talking. "Severus, my dear boy, you look dreadful." He looked to the Death Eater clothing that Severus placed on the chair next to him and pulled a vial out from his desk drawer. "Here," he held out the vial for Severus. "This should help."

Severus took the vial and immediately downed its contents, though doing so was a great sacrifice to his reputation. At this point all he wanted was the pain to go away. He just hoped that the Headmaster wouldn't think any less of him for taking the potion. "Thank you Headmaster," he said with relief, then sank back into the chair.

Dumbledore smiled at Severus and placed the vial back in his drawer. Upon the drawer closing, the vial replenished itself; at the ready for the next time it would be needed. "I am going to assume that since you came straight here instead of your quarters that something of great importance happened at today's meeting. Am I correct in my assumption Severus?"

"Yes, Headmaster." Severus sat up in his chair. "A few things of importance happened. The Dark Lord has suspicions about some of his followers. He believes there to be spies among them. I do not know for sure if he suspect me, but if I can judge by the curses and the length of the curses he gave some of us, I'm going to assume he suspects me."

"I'm sorry to hear that Severus." The twinkle in his eye disappeared and he leaned forward with elbows on his desk, chin resting on steepled fingers. His tone became serious. "I have thought about this for quite some time. There is no need—"

Severus broke in, having an idea what the Headmaster was going to allude to. "If you are going to suggest that I stop being a spy for the Order to keep me alive, and you think I would actually do as you please, then you are sorely mistaken, old man."

"The Order has many ways of obtaining information about the Dark Lord's plans, Severus. We are in no need for a spy if it comes with the cost of that spy's life."

"There are other ways of obtaining information?" Severus questions sarcastically, knowing the realistic answer was no.

"Yes, Severus."

Severus held the headmaster's gaze for a few seconds. Unwilling to believe the old man actually believed that to be true. "If so then tell me, Headmaster, did you know that the Dark Lord has been planning for an attack some time in January right at this very school? Did you know that he's having the Death Eater's children attending Hogwarts convey to their parents any weaknesses with gaining entrance into the grounds and castle?"

Dumbledore didn't say a word.

Severus stood up and began pacing the office, the pain he was still in even after consuming the potion, gone from his mind. "Of course you didn't. How could you possibly know? Only a spy could know. Only a spy can relay the information the Order would need to finally destroy the Dark Lord. The Order needs all the help…"

"You forget one important fact, Severus. It is not up to the Order to destroy the Dark Lord. The Order can only help. It is up to Harry Potter."

Severus whirled around, eyes glaring at the Headmaster. "It is not up to a dimwitted sixteen year old boy."

"You heard part of the prophecy all those years ago, Severus, and then the entire prophecy earlier this year."

The realization of what Harry had to accomplish was now having more an affect on Severus than he thought possible, even with his jumbled and confusing thoughts on the boy. He swallowed the lump in his throat at Dumbledore's words.

"It was prophesized, and it has to be done that way," the Headmaster continued. "There are no other options, my boy."

Severus nodded at the old man, and slowly made his way back to the chair and sat down, wanting this part of the conversation to be over. He'd have more time for this discussion once he made sense of his conflicting thoughts of Harry. He cleared his throat. "Headmaster, on to the more important task at hand."

"Yes, the attack on the school next month."

"What are you planning to do, Headmaster?"

"I've actually been planning something myself, in the event something like this would happen. I will be strengthening the wards around the school during the holiday break."

"What a novel idea," Severus remarked sarcastically with a sneer plastered on his face. "There's only one problem."

"I can not perform the spell while there are students and professors staying inside. I know that Severus. That is why I've been in contact with the parents of all the students planning to stay here for the holidays. Arrangements have been made to have the students go home with their parents, or if that is not possible, to stay with the family of one of their friends for the holiday. I have run in to one problem, however."

"Let me guess. Mr. Potter." Of course it had to be Potter. That boy was always causing problems.

"Correct. Since he would be the only student left, I would let him stay here. However, because the wards are to protect him, him presence in the school will affect the spell in a negative way."

"So, what is the problem then? Surely his relatives won't mind having their nephew stay with them for the holidays."

"I've tried to get in contact with them, with no positive results. When I met with them, they said they were going out of town for the holidays and had only planned on the three of them. When I mentioned that Harry could be brought to where they were staying, they then said they didn't want to see him until the summer holiday like originally agreed to. They finished the conversation saying they didn't want to have, and I'm saying this in their words Severus, that burden of a boy, that freak, in their house for more than absolutely necessary."

Severus tried not to react to the words. He was angry, very angry actually, at how Harry's relatives referred to him. And he was angry with himself for feeling angry. Once he calmed his emotions, did he decide to speak. "Did you happen to explain to them why it was necessary for him to leave the school?"

"Yes. They still did not want him back. They said the greater the likelihood Harry would never come back to their house, the better."

Severus was outraged. He wanted to immediately go to the Dursley's and ring their necks. How could anyone say that about their own family? But he also wanted to celebrate. There were others who felt the same hatred towards Harry as he did. At both those thoughts, he began to feel sick. Severus stood up while trying to push all those thoughts to the back of his mind. "Well, then you've got a problem now don't you. If you need my assistance in coming up with possible solutions for Potter's stay during the holidays, let me know. I'm now going to retire to my quarters."

"Of course Severus. But before you do so, please stop by the hospital wing and have Madam Pomfrey take a look at all those cuts on your face."

Nodding, Severus walked out of Dumbledore's office. He had no intention of stopping by the hospital wing. He was fully capable of tending to his injuries himself. He instead headed straight for his quarters.

Upon entering, Severus put away his Death Eater attire, tended to his injuries and sat on the sofa in front of the roaring fire. It was dinner time, but he had no intention of showing up in the Great Hall for the meal. Instead he summoned a house elf to bring the meal to his quarters.

While eating, he thought about the feelings he had while up in the Headmaster's office. He noticed he didn't have as much hatred toward Harry as he had in the past. That surprised him and scared him at the same time. He began to realize he liked the fact that he didn't hate Harry as much, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone, even if his life depended on it.

After finishing his meal and having some thought about it, he decided that with his current feelings, he would spend the rest of the weekend with his real memories. Only his real memories. He planned, after all, to spend the remaining weekend holed up in his lab brewing potions or just relaxing. There was no need to worry about running into anyone. He would swap out his altered memories and only have the real one's, which currently resided in the little bottle in his desk, for the next thirty hours. He would then return all his memories to their current state upon waking Monday morning.

Satisfied, though a little unsure with his decision, he went to his desk, retrieved the bottle and sat back down on the sofa. He stared at the contents for a few seconds before uncorking the bottle and placing the stopper on the side table. He withdrew his wand from his robes with a slight shaking of his hand, then swapped his memories.

* * *

When the sun rose on Sunday morning, Harry was lying on his bed wide awake. He had been up for hours thanks to his troubling and reoccurring nightmares. Deciding it was late enough to start the day he quietly got up and headed to the bathroom to take a shower, making sure to not wait up his dorm mates. When he walked out to the dorm room forty-five minutes later, everyone was up and gone from the room. He walked over to his trunk and was about to throw his dirty clothes inside when he remembered he needed to leave them out for the house-elves to clean. Instead, he threw them on his unmade bed and headed down the stairs for breakfast. He was starving. The previous night he had gotten upset with Ron and Hermione and stormed out of dinner with only having a few bites.

Upon entering the Great Hall, he took a seat at a large empty space at the Gryffindor table. He had just finished scooping scrambled eggs on his plate when Ron and Hermione sat down next to him. Harry glared at the two and made to get up and leave.

"Harry, sit down," begged Ron, grabbing a hold of Harry's arm to keep him from leaving.

"We need to talk about what's been going on Harry," Hermione added.

Harry grimaced at Ron's grasp. He knew his friend didn't have a strong grip on him, but his arm began to ache. Harry looked between his two friends and reluctantly sat down. "Fine. What?" he questioned shortly.

"What is going on with you Harry?" Ron questioned.

"Ron!" Hermione interrupted, giving the red-head an exasperated look. "Let me handle this please."

"Fine. Go right ahead." Ron then shoveled a piece of toast in his mouth while Hermione began speaking.

"Harry, what Ron was trying to ask, though not in a very good way, was, are you alright? You haven't really been acting like yourself since term started and we're both concerned. You always seem to be mad at us. Which I might say, we have no clue as to why. And you're always short with us."

After Hermione finished, Harry looked to Ron who was nodding his head in agreement with Hermione. He looked back to Hermione, unable to believe they were confronting him on this. Could they be so stupid that they didn't know? "How can you honestly say you haven't any idea why I'm like this?"

"We don't Harry," Hermione began. "That's why we're asking. We're worried about you."

"I would say that I don't want to hurt your feelings with what I'm about to say, but that is no longer true. It is you. Both of you. Both of you are making me the way I am."

"I don't understand Harry. What have Ron and I done to you? Please tell us so we can change and make everything go back to the way it was before the term started."

Harry stared at his two friends while thinking of how to put in to words what he'd been feeling the past few months. He took a breath and began. "I've always been used to being invisible and having to pretend like I don't exist whenever I'm with the Dursley's. That's not supposed to happen while I'm at Hogwarts…with my friends." At Hermione's questioning look Harry continued. "I didn't need to feel that I didn't exist at the beginning of term. I really needed my friends. But they ignored me. And it has continued ever since."

"We didn't ignore you mate," Ron stated.

"Ron, please." Hermione interrupted. "I said, let me handle this." At his nod, she turned her attention back to Harry. "Why do you think we ignored you?"

"Various reasons actually. And it's not just ignoring either. I don't seem to be wanted around or included in things." Harry ignored the hurt look from Hermione. How she could feel hurt was beyond him. It wasn't like he was doing things to them. "You both always don't seem to see me around. We'll be walking from class to class and I try talking to you and it's like I'm not even there. You're both constantly whispering to each other and making plans for the two of you only. Even during the Hogsmeade weekend a while back. You asked me to join you, but everything you were doing was based just on the two of you. I'm beginning to feel like you two don't want me as a friend anymore."

Hermione was speechless. She couldn't believe what Harry was thinking.

Harry took Hermione's silence as a sign and got up to leave the room. "Guess I'm right."

"Harry please. No, it's not like that!" Hermione cried, and she watched Harry slowly turn around. "Please, sit back down and let me try to explain."

Taking a seat a little farther from his friends, Harry looked over to Hermione. "Fine. Explain."

"This is hard to explain. We've been acting the way we have because…well…because Ron and I finally concluded during the summer that we like each other and wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We can't seem to stand being apart from each other. It's a feeling we both have never experienced before and I'm sorry, but we can't help it."

Harry turned away from his friends feeling a little jealous and hurt, and poured himself a glass of pumpkin juice. He knew at one point he'd be losing his friends to love, but he just didn't think it would happen so soon. After taking a big gulp of juice, he felt a hand on his arm. He looked up to see Hermione looking at him with sadness in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry for you making you think you were invisible and for ignoring you. I wish I could say things will now go back to the way they were, Harry, but it can't. I know you know that. Ron and I won't stop our relationship with each other. It means too much to give up."

Harry nodded then looked toward the staff table. His eyes locked with Remus, who gave him a small smile. Harry tried to return the smile but couldn't.

"Harry, please look at me."

Not really wanting to, Harry unwillingly faced Hermione with hurt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry we have been hurting you, Harry. I promise you, now that Ron and I know how our actions have been affecting you, we'll try our best not treat you the way we were. I know I can't speak for Ron, but your friendship means too much to me. I can't lose you as a friend." She looked over at Ron, for him to say the same thing, but he wasn't opening his mouth. She kicked him under the table.

"Bloody hell Hermione. Why'd you…"

Hermione gave him a look.

Ron cleared his throat. "Oh. Uh, same here Harry. I'm sorry for ignoring you. You know you'll always be my best mate right? Hey, why don't the three of us spend the day outside? We can bug the giant squid in the lake, visit Hagrid, cause trouble, all the things we used to do."

"Thanks guys, but I don't think so. Not today anyways. I've got a lot of things on my mind. I'd just like to spend the day alone."

"But Harry, you just said…Owe! Hermione, would you please stop kicking me?"

"Harry," Hermione began, "I understand. If you feel like some company later on, come and find us. We promise not to ignore you anymore."

"Thanks guys."

Hermione smiled at Harry then got up from the table. "Come on Ron. We have to complete our Prefect duties before we can do whatever we want. See you around Harry."

"Bye you two." Harry watched his friends leave the Great Hall. He finished his breakfast then got up to spend a few hours roaming the castle.

* * *

Harry had just come around a corridor looking at the ground in front of him, lost in thought, when he ran headfirst into something solid that knocked him to the ground. Sitting on the ground in surprise with his arms stretched behind him holding his weight and he legs sprawled out in front of him, Harry first spotted the black boots in front of his feet. His stomach dropped as he realized who was standing there. He swallowed thickly as he slowly raised his eyes to meet those of the person he ran in to. "Uh…I'm sorry sir."

Severus looked down at the heap of a boy on the ground, an unrecognizable expression on his face. Harry was the last person Severus wanted to see. He had tried hard not to leave his quarters since switching out his memories, but the Headmaster had called him and his leaving was unavoidable. He hoped the boy would be outside on the grounds with his friends or up in Gryffindor tower.

As Harry made eye contact with him, Severus quickly tried to school his expression into his usual sneer, but was having a hard time of it. "See that you watch where you're going from now on Mr. Potter." His voice lacked the malice he always had for the boy. Instead it held a hint of concern.

"Y…yes Professor," Harry stuttered, a little surprised at the unusual tone of voice towards him. He made to get off the ground when he felt a hand grasp his right upper arm. He quickly turned his head to the right to see that Severus's hand was on his arm and was helping him stand up.

Severus was trying to read Harry's expression as he stood facing the boy after helping him up. At seeing the confused and almost scared look in Harry's eyes, he realized what he had just done. When he saw the boy on the floor, Severus' first instinct was to help him up; which he did. However, at the same time something was nagging at him that what he was doing was completely wrong. He gave Harry an odd looked, whirled around, and quickly left the corridor towards his destination; Professor Dumbledore's office.

Harry stared after the man in complete shock while absentmindedly rubbing his right arm.

* * *

I'm so sorry for the length between updates. My real life has gotten in the way. I had planned on having more in this chapter but I thought I'd better post something since it's been a while. Hopefully my next update won't be so long in between. :) Thank you all for your patience with the delay. I hope you're all still enjoying the story.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

As Severus walked in to Dumbledore's office, he was greeted with the sight of Remus sitting in one of the chairs by the desk, looking completely worn out. "Lupin," he stated, somewhat civil.

"Severus," Remus responded, and slouched a bit further into his chair. It was two days after his transformation and he hadn't fully recovered.

Severus walked over and sat down in the other chair at the desk, and waited for the Headmaster, ignoring the man sitting next to him.

A few seconds later, Dumbledore walked into the room and sat down. "Good afternoon. Glad you both could make it."

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes; like he could ignore the Headmaster when he requested a meeting.

"I trust you both know why I have called you here." At Remus and Severus' nod, he continued. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. I have been unable to find someone to take in Mr. Potter over the two week holiday. It's too short of a notice for some, and others don't want to put their families in danger by having Harry stay with them. They all think the Dark Lord will be after him." He sighed and looked at the two men in front of him. "I feel I may have run out of ideas."

Living with his real memories until Monday morning proved very distracting for Severus while listening to the Headmaster. His feelings since switching his memories were greatly different. He didn't have the same loathing for Harry as he often did. As such, he felt himself being seriously concerned about the predicament that was now facing Harry. "Why doesn't one of the professors take him? What about letting him stay at Order headquarters?" he questioned.

"That is what I was getting to next. Unfortunately none of the professors can take him. He can stay at headquarters, but I do not want him there by himself." Dumbledore turned his gaze to Remus, knowing Severus would put up a fight if he asked the man his next question. "Remus, I have a favor to ask of you."

"Yes headmaster?" Remus questioned tentatively.

"I know you already have plans this holiday, but would you mind canceling them and staying at headquarters for the two weeks with Harry?"

Remus looked at the headmaster with a hint of disappointment. He had really been looking forward to spending his holiday in France with Tonks. But Harry did mean a lot to him and he would do anything in his power to help him. "Well, I did have plans. But, I guess…I guess I can change them to be of assistance to Harry. Just so you know, he will definitely not be happy about staying in that house for two weeks."

"He couldn't handle the two days he was there before term," Severus interrupted, without his usual malice. He then looked up into the surprised faces of Remus and Dumbledore. The two were definitely not used to hearing Severus speak of Harry without being condescending. Severus realized why they were surprised, but ignored it. He looked directly at Dumbledore. "You should just be aware of what you're getting into by having Mr. Potter stay in that house for a long period of time."

"I am fully aware Severus. Thank you for your concern."

Severus raised an eyebrow in response. The old man had no idea what he was doing. He didn't know why he was saying what he was about to say, but he couldn't help it. "Headmaster, I don't fully know the extent of the wards you are erecting around the castle, but is it necessary for the boy to be gone the entire two weeks? Wouldn't one week be sufficient? The less time the boy stays in that house, the better for everyone."

Dumbledore looked at Severus in thought. "You are right Severus. It won't take two weeks for the wards to be erected. One week shall be plenty. He can stay here for the first week and go to headquarters for the second."

"Thank you Severus," Remus said to Severus, completely surprised at the thought. "Headmaster," Remus began, "I would like to be the one to tell Harry, after I change my holiday arrangements. I think it would be best coming from me."

"Thank you Remus. I think that would be best."

Severus sat there staring at the two in disbelief. Did they really think the boy would go to that house quietly? Even if it was only one week? After what he witnessed while watching him before term, he knew the answer to be no. As Remus and Dumbledore discussed when Harry would be told, Severus came up with a solution to Harry's problem, but at the moment, he didn't want to voice it. He needed some time to think on it and to seriously think about the boy's reaction to the solution. He let the two finish their discussion, then broke in. "I still think you're making a bad decision Headmaster."

Dumbledore looked over the rim of his glasses. "If you have a better solution, Severus, please…enlighten us."

"I do. Possibly." Severus couldn't believe he almost voiced his solution before he thought about it. "I just need to think about it."

"Well, if you do come up with something, please let the two of us know as soon as possible."

"You'll be the first to know." Severus rose from his chair. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must head back to my quarters. I've got many things to attend to."

"Of course Severus," Dumbledore said. "Have a good evening."

Severus nodded to Dumbledore, quickly looked at Remus, and left the office.

* * *

Professor McGonagall took her spoon and clanked it against her water glass to quiet the Great Hall for the Headmaster.

Dumbledore leaned over to McGonagall. "Thank you, Minerva." He then stood up to address the students. "I hope you all are enjoying your dinner this last Monday before the holidays. As a few of you might know, all of you will be going home for the holidays. All preparations for those who were to stay at Hogwarts for those two weeks have also been made. And if your parents or guardians were unable to plan for your presence, other arrangements have been made. I'm sorry if this causes an inconvenience to some of you, but it was a necessary action." Dumbledore stopped talking for a few seconds as the whispering began. "I hope you all have a terrific holiday." Dumbledore then sat back down as the din in the hall became louder.

After the Headmaster took his seat, Harry just sat there staring at the man, his mouth hanging open. He had to spend the two week holiday with the Dursley's? That was not possible. He had planned to spend those weeks here at Hogwarts doing absolutely nothing…sleeping late, wandering the castle and grounds, and spending time with Hagrid. Living with the Dursley's for those two weeks was not part of his plan. There had to be some place else he could go.

While Harry was lost in his thoughts, Hermione and Ron were discussing the possible reasons why everyone had to leave the castle. Thinking that Harry was paying attention to the conversation, Hermione asked him a question. When he didn't answer, she asked him again and shook his arm.

"What?" Harry asked abruptly from being broken out of his thoughts. "Sorry Hermione," he continued at Hermione's look. "I was thinking about something." Hermione nodded, giving him a look that she understood what he had been thinking about.

The subject was then dropped and the three got started on their dinner.

* * *

Tuesday after all his classes were complete, Harry went in search of Remus. He still wasn't comfortable talking to the man yet, but he was desperate. His first stop was the professor's office. He knocked on the wooden door and was immediately let in.

Harry followed Remus over to his desk and sat in one of the two chairs facing the desk.

Remus sunk into his chair and looked at Harry. "What brings you here Harry?"

"I was wondering if you know where I'm to go during the holidays. I was supposed to stay here because the Dursley's agreed to only have me back during the summer. Where am I to go? Please tell me Professor Dumbledore didn't make plans with the Dursley's and I'm supposed to stay there?"

Remus looked at Harry sympathetically. He had planned on talking to the boy after dinner tonight, since his change of plans with Tonks had been finalized late last night. But since Harry was asking now, he wasn't going to deny he knew anything.

Harry took Remus' expression to mean he was right. "Please tell me I'm wrong. I can't go back to the Dursley's."

"Relax Harry. There's no need to work yourself up. You are not going to the Dursley's."

Harry let out a breath. "Good."

"But I'm afraid you'll hate where you will be staying almost as much as if you were to stay with the Dursley's."

"I doubt that," Harry contradicted.

Remus waited a few seconds before he began speaking again. "Harry, you will be staying the holiday at Grimmauld Place."

"No!" Harry shouted, and stood up from his chair. "I can't stay there. I'd rather spend the holidays down in the dungeons with Snape before stepping foot into that house again."

"Calm down Harry."

"Can't I stay with you?" Harry asked, almost begging. He would do almost anything to not have to stay in that house.

"You _will_ be staying with me Harry. I will be staying at Grimmauld Place with you."

Harry wasn't comforted at all by what Remus said. "Why do you have to stay at…at Grim…at that _house_ with me?" Harry asked, not able to say the name of his godfather's home. "Why can't I stay with you at your place?"

"I would love to have you stay at my place, but Order headquarters is the safest place for you. I want you to be safe Harry. But, the good news is, you get to stay here for the first week. The second week of the holidays is when we'll be going to Grimmauld Place."

Feeling slightly relieved that he wouldn't have to spend the entire time in that dreadful house, he took a deep breath and relaxed in his chair. "Ok," he said gloomily.

After watching Harry relax, Remus decided to spend a few more minutes talking to Harry about his classes.

* * *

Harry shakily stood up from the cold stone floor of Severus' office. He wiped a hand across his sweaty forehead and dropped down in the chair behind him. He looked up into the eyes of the potion's master and was met with an odd look. Not understanding why the professor was looking at him like that, he dropped his eyes and grabbed the Occlumency book he was to read for a bit during his lessons with Severus.

While Harry was reading the book, Severus was trying to get a handle on his emotions. Having lived with his real memories for the past few days proved to be very difficult. When he awoke on Monday morning, he was actually dreading the minute he had to remove his memories. But knew it was currently necessary.

Having lived with the knowledge that he had been married and had a son gave him the greatest feeling in the world. Even though that son was Harry, he felt very proud of the boy. He only wished that the day he could destroy his altered memories and live with his real ones was now. He wanted so much to be a father. It was a dream he'd given up years ago, but now that the truth was out there, he couldn't wait to be a father. As Severus raised his wand to his temple to remove his memories that morning, he made the decision to tell Harry the truth sometime before the year was over.

Severus was still thinking about Monday morning when he was broken out of his thoughts by Harry.

"Well Professor?" Harry asked again when the professor made no move to answer him.

Severus glared at Harry. "What do you want?" he asked slightly irritated at being drawn out of his thoughts.

"Sorry sir." Harry stated at the tone and look Severus gave him. "I just wanted to know if we were done for the night or if you wanted to try one more time?"

Severus stared at Harry for a few seconds before grabbing his wand and motioning for Harry to stand. He stood as well and raised his wand to Harry. "Legilimens." As he entered Harry's mind, Severus wasn't quite so sure why he was searching for certain memories, but he felt it absolutely necessary.

_...Harry at nine years old opening his Christmas gift of a wire hanger wrapped in a garbage bag...Harry having to stay outside all Christmas day doing chores while his family enjoyed their holiday dinner...Harry being locked up in his cupboard while his relatives celebrated the holiday...Harry opening his first real Christmas gift his first year at Hogwarts...three-year old Harry crying while his uncle yelled at him that Santa never visited freaks and he would never get any presents from him..._

Before the next memory fully surfaced, Severus found himself back in his office breathing rapidly while Harry was lying down on his side on the ground shaking. Severus walked around the desk to his chair and sat down. Harry had yet to rise. Instead he had moved to a sitting position on the floor with his back to Severus.

Instead of saying anything to the boy, Severus just let him sit there. No doubt Harry was embarrassed and perhaps a little ashamed at the memories that had been seen. An uncharacteristic move from the man, Severus said nothing to Harry and went to retrieve some essays to grade. He would let the boy have some time to compose himself.

After grading two essays, Severus looked up to see Harry had yet to move. He cleared his throat and put the quill in his hand down. "You are improving Mr. Potter."

Harry's head jerked up and he slowly stood up and turned to face the potion's master. "Tha…thank you sir," he responded completely shocked. He never expected to hear a compliment from Severus.

Severus acknowledged him with a nod of his head. "I'd like you to spend the remaining lesson reviewing the chapter you read earlier. You may go now. And there is no need to come back until our next lesson on Thursday. Good night Mr. Potter."

Looking at the professor in confusion, Harry began to ask why he wasn't wanted back tomorrow night for his detention. "Thursday sir? I thought I had detention tomorrow?"

"You will only be coming to my office for Occlumency lessons Mr. Potter."

Harry again tried to pry from the man why he dismissed him from all the detentions. "I don't understand sir. I thought there was no getting out of these detentions? Why are you dismissing me from them?"

Raised eyebrows were the only response Severus gave him.

With that being his answer, Harry grabbed his book and walked towards the door. As he opened the door, he thought he had heard the man whisper "because I'm sorry for what I did to you," but realization set in and he knew he had to be hearing things. And he wasn't stupid enough to question if he was right or wrong. He then closed the door behind him and ran up to Gryffindor tower.

Severus watched as Harry left his office. He knew he made the right decision in canceling all the boy's detentions. They were administered unfairly. If it was any other student, he wouldn't have given that punishment so it was only fair that he retract Harry's punishment.

**

* * *

**

As the week went by, Severus' thoughts of Harry began to change. He had been too busy preparing for the holiday break so he never viewed his memories. When the boy's Thursday Occlumency lesson came, Severus was back to his usual horrid self.

"Potter, you are absolutely pathetic," Severus growled at the boy trembling on the floor in his office. "Get up this instant." He rounded his desk and sat down. "What a waste of my time."

"You told me two days ago I was improving," Harry said as he shakily stood up.

"I was grievously wrong. Tuesday was obviously a fluke. You're as bad as you were last year."

Harry glared at the professor, grabbed his book bag and hurried to the office door, wanting to get away from the man as soon as possible. He didn't care that his lesson wasn't over or what Severus would do once he walked out of that office. He just needed to get away.

Severus yelled out to Harry as the boy opened the door. "Mr. Potter, get yourself back into this office this minute."

Harry ignored the threatening tone of his professor and slammed the door shut behind him.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for lack of respect," Severus said to his empty office. He sat there for a few minutes before deciding to clean up his office and get an early start on relaxing in his quarters.

As Severus sat in front of the fireplace, he began thinking about the lesson with Harry only a few hours earlier. He felt slightly guilty at the way he behaved towards the boy and then realized why he was like that. He hadn't viewed his memories for a few days and had begun to forget the way he felt about his past and of Harry. Knowing what needed to be done, Severus went to his desk, retrieved the bottle of his memories, and switched them out with his altered memories. He knew he wouldn't have the boy in class for the rest of the week, so he decided to leave them in for the next three days. He felt it was safe enough.

When Sunday morning arrived, and almost all of the Hogwarts students had left the castle for the two week holiday, Severus knew exactly what he needed to do. And because of what had to be done, he removed his real memories, placed them safely in the bottle and returned his altered memories.

* * *

Truth be told, Severus didn't like visiting the Gryffindor tower, or being anywhere near it. It brought back too many bad memories from when he had been a student at Hogwarts. But, he swore to himself that his feelings were going to change. He admitted to himself that it might take months before it would happen, but he would make it happen…now that he had a real reason to.

He walked up to the portrait of the fat lady, who gave him a questioning look. "What are you—" the fat lady started before Severus cut her off.

"The reason I am here is none of your concern. Please let me in." The fat lady huffed and Severus watched as the portrait door swung open.

He walked through the portrait hole and stopped in the middle of the common room. He was expecting to see Harry at one of the tables or in one of the chairs by the fireplace, but there was no one there. Really needing to find the boy before he lost his nerve, Severus started climbing the spiral staircase to the boys' dormitories. He wasn't sure which one Harry was assigned to, so he was going to have to look in them all.

Reaching the top, and last, dormitory in the tower, he opened the door and stepped inside. His eyes were immediately drawn to one of the beds. Harry was asleep with his glasses lying next to his wand on his bedside table. Severus was a little surprised to see the boy asleep since it wasn't that late, but knew that he did have a tiring day. He secretly went to watch Harry in the impromptu Quidditch game that was played earlier that afternoon with the few students that had yet to leave Hogwarts for the Christmas holiday. They would be leaving that evening.

Not wanting to wake up Harry just to talk, Severus decided he should go back to his quarters and try again another time. But listening to the boy's deep breaths, he couldn't quite leave. In the event Harry wanted nothing to do with him upon learning the truth, he decided to watch his son for a while. It might be the only chance he would ever get. Not wanting to be seen in the event Harry woke up, he quietly walked over to the bed next to Harry's, sat down and drew the deep red velvet curtains around just enough for him to see but not be seen.

Severus watched Harry as he slept peacefully. Since this was the first time he really got to look at him, he could really see the change in his appearance. His face wasn't as round and his cheekbones were more defined. Harry's hair was a little sleeker like his, but took on a more auburn hue like Lily's. He also noticed that Harry's nose was now a combination of both his and Lily's. And even though he couldn't see them, he knew his son's eyes never changed…they were still Lily's. He then wondered if Harry would still need his glasses. Giving a small smile and sighing, Severus couldn't believe that he could have fathered the strikingly handsome boy lying on the bed.

A few minutes later, Severus was startled out of his thoughts by Harry thrashing around and moaning in his bed. He was totally unaware of what Harry was now going through.

Harry's dream had changed from a fun outing with Ginny to something more evil…

…_Harry was walking along an indeterminate street in the middle of the night. Following behind him were four men and women all wearing black robes and white masks. Coming to an empty intersection, he stopped and turned around, looking at all his followers._

"_Tonight I feel like having fun. This house…" he pointed to a house up the street on the left side, "the one with the immaculate lawn, belongs to someone I believe to be a spy. We should pay him a visit."_

_He continued walking up to the front of the house. "Alohomora." The door unlocked and opened wide. "I want to have fun first. Then you four can have fun as well." He stepped through the door and into the living room of the house._

_Harry watched as a man stood up from the couch and faced him. "My Lord. What brings you to my home?" The man asked Harry._

"_You will see soon enough." Harry felt the evil radiating throughout his body as he raised his wand to the man. "Crucio!"_

_After the screaming died down, he turned to his followers. "Your turn for some fun. But don't kill him." After a few minutes of watching the Death Eaters, he held up his hand. "Stop. That is all for tonight. You may go now." As the Death Eaters left the house, he turned around towards the man and raised his wand one more time. "Avada Kedavra." At hearing a small stifled cry coming from behind him, he turned around and saw a girl about four years old. With a huge smile, he raised his wand to the little girl and repeated the killing curse. Then he started laughing…_

Harry woke up screaming and thrashing around in his bed, his blankets twisted around his legs. Sweating and shaking, he brought a hand up to his scar and pressed on it to try and make the pain go away. Unfortunately the blinding pain in his head, along with the final moments of his vision, was making him feel nauseous. Knowing he wasn't going to be able to get out of bed in time, Harry rolled over on his side and vomited on the bed. He was now shaking uncontrollably. He rolled back over so he was lying on his back trying to breathe.

Taking a few big gulps of air, he tried to sit up. His head was still pounding so bad that when he moved, he knew he was going to be sick again. This time, he didn't even have the energy to do more than turn his head.

Severus sat helpless on the bed watching Harry. The urge to go to Harry's bedside to comfort him was extraordinary. But he couldn't move; couldn't let Harry know he was in the room. He could only sit in the shadows and watch.

After wiping tears from his eyes, Harry just laid on his bed for a few minutes, with his fingers pressed to his throbbing scar. Feeling something sticky on his fingers, he removed his hand and saw his fingertips were covered in blood. Knowing better than to move, he wiped his hand on his shirt. A few minutes later, when he felt he wouldn't be sick again, he reached with a shaky hand to his wand on his bedside table and pointed it to his bed. "Scourgify." Slowly, he sat up, brought his knees up to his chest, and wrapped his arms around his knees. He looked around the dark dorm room while he tried to stop shaking. He hated waking up from the visions alone. Then he waited for the pain in his head to lessen.

Severus saw the look on Harry's face as the boy looked around the room still shaking. He could tell he was still in pain…and scared. _How many visions and nightmares did he have to go through alone these past few years, here and at the Dursley's_ he thought sadly. If Severus had it his way, Harry would never have to go through them alone ever again.

After five minutes, he watched as Harry got up and slowly went to the restroom. The need and want to stay in the room with Harry was great, but Severus knew he'd better leave while he could. He reluctantly got out of the bed he was sitting on and walked past Harry's bed. Seeing that Harry must have had problems with the cleaning spell he cast earlier, he pulled his wand from his robes and performed the spell himself, then quickly walked out of the Gryffindor tower.

Harry walked out of the restroom a few minutes later feeling a little better. _I should go to Dumbledore. He always wants to know when I have a vision, _he thought as he walked to his bed. He questioned the cleanliness of the bed as he got in; he didn't think his spell worked that good. He laid his head down on the pillow and decided not to go to Dumbledore. _Why should I go to him the way he treated me all last year. I don't think I'm ready to trust him again yet._ He fell asleep a few minutes later.

Severus entered his quarters in the cold dungeons ten minutes after leaving Harry's dorm room. After sitting in his chair by the fireplace, his thoughts went to Harry and the effects of the visions on him. He knew Harry had visions. That was why he was teaching him Occlumency. He just didn't realize what they did to Harry until tonight. And to be honest, until learning the truth about his past, he didn't want to know and didn't care.

Picking up a book located on the table next to him, Severus decided he would go to Dumbledore tomorrow afternoon to inquire about the vision and to find out how Harry was doing. Harry should have gone to Dumbledore by then. He knew the boy always went to Dumbledore whenever he had a vision.

* * *

Wow, I can't believe it. The very last section of this chapter was one of the very first scenes I wrote when I first started writing this story over a year ago. The other scene I first wrote will be coming up next chapter. I can't believe it took me this long to get to it and to post it.

Hope you're all enjoying the story. If there's something that doesn't make sense or there's something you'd like to see, please let me know and I'll see what I can do. Thanks!


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Sleep didn't come easy to Severus Sunday night. Sleep actually never did. But it was worse than normal. His thoughts kept swirling around Harry and what he witnessed when he went to talk to the boy in Gryffindor tower. When he finally did fall asleep, he had made up his mind on what he was going to do about Harry. He needed to tell Harry the truth before the end of Monday. He _had_ to. The truth and all the emotions it awakened within him were slowly eating him up. He couldn't keep playing around the truth of what he felt any longer.

Upon waking Monday morning, Severus removed his real memories and replaced them with his altered memories. As an experiment earlier in the week, he had removed his real memories and left his altered ones alone. Walking around without any memories from all those years was actually worse than his altered memories. With that being the case, he decided he would never go without some type of memory.

After getting dressed and switching out his memories, Severus headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. When he opened the door to enter the room, he was greeted with the sight of one large rectangle table set in the center of the hall. Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, Flitwick, Lupin, and Sprout were all in attendance. The remaining Hogwarts students had left after dinner the night before and the remaining professors had yet to arrive for the meal or had already left for the holiday. The professors had until that evening to leave for their mandatory holiday.

Severus walked into the room and took a seat next to Professor Flitwick and across from Dumbledore. After serving himself some breakfast, he looked around the table. Harry was no where to be seen. He took a sip of tea and addressed Dumbledore. "Headmaster, where is Potter? Does he feel he's above following the rules already?" He asked the last question in his usual condescending tone, but it didn't have his normal feelings behind it. He had to keep up appearances after all, until he felt it safe for the truth to be generally known and of course after Harry had been told.

Dumbledore looked at Severus over the rim of his glasses, his blue eyes twinkling with hidden amusement. "Concerned about the boy Severus?" Dumbledore asked lightly.

Glancing around the table at the other professors, he narrowed his eyes and returned his attention to the headmaster. "Of course not," he denied. Maybe he was concerned or maybe he wasn't concerned. However he was feeling, he was not going to let the headmaster be privy to his thoughts.

"Of course not, Severus," Dumbledore repeated, completely seeing through the man's lie. "Harry has the option of joining us for breakfast or having a house elf bring him his meals. He is, however, required to attend lunch and dinner in the Great Hall."

"Pampering him already I see," Severus stated then stared at the headmaster for a few seconds. He then turned his attention to his breakfast and began eating.

* * *

Harry awoke about two hours after sunrise. After taking a shower he made his way down to the common room. He sat down in one of the arm chairs in front of the fire and called Dobby to bring him his breakfast. When his food arrived and he began eating, he was glad the Headmaster gave him the option of joining the professors in the Great Hall for breakfast or staying in the Gryffindor common room. After his vision the evening before and the subsequent nightmares, he was in no mood to be in the company of his professors for the early meal, or to leave the common room for quite a while. He was just disappointed he was required to take his other meals in the Great Hall.

* * *

Still unaccustomed to having a lot of his thoughts revolving around Harry, even after having removed his memories, Severus tried to engage himself in the conversations around him at the table during lunch. Throughout the meal, though, he found that he was watching Harry more often than he was used to. And it wasn't due to the fact that the boy was sitting diagonally across from him. He knew that it was because of the events he witnessed yesterday evening, his thoughts all through the night, and the fact that he hadn't seen Harry at all since he left the boy's dorm room last night.

As Severus finished the last of the water in the cup in his hand, he looked over at Harry one more time. The boy wasn't really eating and wasn't really talking to anyone. More than likely it was because of what he'd been through yesterday evening. Since making the decision late last night not to speak with Professor Dumbledore with regard to Harry's vision, Severus knew now would be a good time to speak with Harry, about the vision and about them.

Severus waited until the boy left the Great Hall and followed him out. He started to speak once Harry was in a corridor away from the Great Hall. "Mr. Potter."

Harry stopped walking and turned toward his professor, unsure why the man was following him. "Yes sir?" he said hesitantly. Whatever the professor was going to say would probably not be good. It never was.

"Mr. Potter, Professor Dumbledore mentioned you had a vision last night," he began, with a lie or course, as he slowly walked up to Harry. "In order for me to see if the Occlumency lessons you are having are beginning to help, I would like—."

"I didn't go see the Headmaster last night," Harry interrupted. "I haven't for…" he stopped talking and looked at his professor in confusion. _How did Snape know I had a vision last night? I didn't tell anyone. _"Hang on, how did you know I had a vision last night?"

The opportunity for Severus to talk to Harry presented itself, though not in the way he had imagined. Now he wished he went to the Headmaster before confronting Harry. It would have made things a little easier. "Mr. Potter, follow me to my office. We will continue our conversation there."

Not wanting to get on Snape's bad side the first day of the holiday, Harry decided to comply. "Okay."

Almost at a run, Harry followed the professor down to the dungeons and into his office. After Harry entered, Severus closed the door behind them. He walked to his desk and pointed to the chair on the other side. "Sit please." He watched as Harry sat down opposite him.

Harry sat down and looked at his professor. _Why is Snape looking at me like that? I have never seen him look at anyone like that before. _Not being able to read the expression in his eyes, Harry wondered what was so important to talk about that they couldn't stay in the empty corridor by the Great Hall. But first, he wanted to know how Snape knew about his vision. "Professor. Erm…how did you know I had a vision last night? I didn't tell anyone."

Severus laughed to himself as soon as he realized the boy had a one-track mind. But it would probably be best to get that question out of the way. "Fine, we'll start there. I was up in your dorm room last night."

"What?" _Since when does Snape go to a student's dorm room…especially a Gryffindor?_ Harry was slowly beginning to realize what exactly Snape had probably seen. Then he thought back to how his bed was a lot cleaner than he thought it should have been. His face paled at the thought.

"I went looking for you so I could talk with you. I didn't want—"

"How long were you there?" Harry asked coldly, knowing the last thing in the world he wanted was to have this heartless man in front of him see him at his worst.

Severus saw the change in Harry's face and had a feeling what the boy was thinking. "Long enough."

"Brilliant." Harry was now fuming and glaring at the man he hated most in this world. "Just brilliant." Almost yelling now, Harry stood up. "Another thing for you to use in class when you decide to ridicule, humiliate, and criticize me for the stuff my father did to you."

Harry's last sentence really stung Severus. He knew he had to tell him the truth now before he ruined his chances at finally having what he secretly desired for years. "Potter," he stated, trying to rid his voice of sadness.

"I am not my father, Professor," Harry continued, ignoring how Severus stated his name.

"Potter," Severus said again, a little louder.

"…Stop treating me like I am." Harry started moving to the door. He reached out to grasp the door knob when Severus called him again.

"Harry." The name came out of Severus' mouth more quietly and gently than he had intended.

At his first name being used and the tone in which it was said, Harry stopped in his tracks and turned slowly toward Severus. He had never, in his over five years at Hogwarts, heard his teacher say his name like that before or say his first name at all for that matter.

"Please, sit down." Severus gestured to the chair again and waited until Harry reluctantly sat down. He looked at the boy a few seconds before continuing. "This really isn't the way I wanted to go about doing this," he said more to himself than Harry. He took a deep breath and looked at Harry in the eyes. "First, Harry, I would like to know if you've noticed any differences in yourself."

_Harry again? What has gotten in to him? Wait…differences in myself? That is a weird question._ Though still fuming, Harry decided to answer. "I'm not too sure what you mean, sir."

"I mean, do you think you're taller or shorter or anything like that compared to a few months ago?" He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and call the boy dense.

"Well, yes, but I think it's normal for someone my age." He still couldn't quite figure out what Severus was getting at.

Severus was slowly beginning to lose his patience with the boy no matter how much he wanted to have this conversation. "How about when you look in the mirror? Are there any differences?" he clarified, hoping to get a real answer out of Harry.

_Oh, so it's not in my head. I thought I was losing my mind. _"Actually yes. I have noticed some changes…changes that I really wouldn't expect just by getting older." At Severus' nod he continued. "So you see the changes too?" Harry asked relieved. "I thought it was all in my mind."

"No, it's not in your mind." Severus was thankful that Harry didn't seem to have a problem with the changes, and that his anger was dying down.

"What could be causing it? Does it have something to do with Voldemort?" At Severus' intake of breath at the word Voldemort, he surprisingly apologized. "Sorry Professor. I know I'm not supposed to say his name."

"The changes have nothing to do with him, though they are one of the reasons I asked you down here. But we'll get to that later." Severus opened the top desk drawer and pulled out an envelope. "There really is no easy way for me to explain." He handed the envelope to Harry. "I received this a few months ago. It will explain everything for you. Just promise me you won't run off after you read it." Severus placed his hands in his lap, fists clenched with apprehension.

Harry nodded as he hesitantly took the envelope from Severus. He took out the letter and slowly read it.

In Severus' nervousness his hands were getting sweaty, something he hadn't experienced in years, and he had to keep wiping them on his trousers. As he waited for Harry to finish reading the letter, he watched the boy's face for any indication of what he was feeling. He didn't see anything until Harry slapped the letter down on the desk five minutes later and they made eye contact. Harry had tears forming in his eyes, but in front of the tears was pure hatred…hatred and revulsion.

"I get it, Professor," Harry said, with his voice shaking slightly. "This is just one of your sick jokes, another way to taunt me. Well, it's not funny."

"I assure you Potter, that this letter is not a joke." He took the letter from the desk, put it back in its envelope, and carefully returned it to the drawer. "It is entirely true. You and I are father and son. And I'd like to begin having that relationship with you."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Why should you not?"

"Why should I not?" Harry's voice was rising. "Why should I not?" He was now yelling at the man seated in front of him. "Are you kidding me? You've hated me from the very first second you laid eyes on me. Hated me because of what my father did to you. You've never said a decent thing to me in the five years I've been attending Hogwarts. You're mission in life seems to be making my life the worst it could possibly be. Why should I believe you, _sir_?" he spat.

Severus regarded Harry's answers while he watched the boy sitting across from him, and tried not to show how upset he was feeling. To calm his nerves, he ran a hand through his lanky hair, took a deep breath and looked back up at Harry. "What would it take for you to believe me, that this is not a joke? My memories are still in the bottle. Would you like me to get the Pensive so you can view them?" Severus moved his hand to retrieve the bottle of memories he placed in the drawer earlier that morning for this occasion.

"No! I know there are no memories to be seen. You can stop playing around." Harry stood up from the chair, fists clenched. "You should be happy to know, _professor_, that although I hate you, you can still hurt me. Now there's something else you can use to taunt me."

Severus watched as Harry bolted to the door to leave. He couldn't believe how much it hurt to know that Harry didn't believe him. But then again, why should the boy believe him; Harry was right. He placed his elbows on the desk, put his head in his hands and sighed. "Lily I wish you would have obeyed my wishes. I knew the pain would be too much to live with." Severus' voice was soft and it started to crack. This made Harry stop just as he was about to leave the office, and he turned around to face Severus. Severus continued talking to himself, not knowing Harry had yet to leave. "Why did you have to keep my memories Lily? I can't do this. God Lily, how am I ever going to get him to believe that he is my son and that I want that relationship?"

Harry watched a few seconds as Severus just sat there with his head in his hands. He then slowly closed the office door behind him and turned and ran to the Gryffindor common room.

Luckily it was a mandatory Christmas holiday for everyone so when Harry entered the common room he didn't have anyone to pester him, like he normally would have. It also meant he could sit anywhere he liked and do anything he wished. However, he had too much on his mind to take full advantage of the empty room this afternoon. He placed himself in front of the fire in one of the room's prime squashy red arm chairs. _Was Professor Snape really that upset when I left?_ "No way," he said to the empty room.

Harry sat staring into the fire thinking. After a while he got up and went into the bathroom. He stood in front of the sink and just started at his reflection in the mirror. As he had been noticing, and others as well, his appearance had changed over the past four months. He was a bit taller, his shoulders broader, and he noticed his fingers were a little longer. His eyes stayed the same, as did his mouth, but his face was a bit longer, his cheekbones accentuated more, and his hair was sleeker, more auburn and wasn't unruly like it used to be. He also noticed his ears and nose had changed a little too. _It can't be true can it?_ Harry shook his head to rid himself of that thought.

Furious at the professor and the letter, Harry snatched up a forgotten bottle of shampoo on the counter, left there by one of his house mates, and threw it as forcefully as he could at the mirror behind the sink. As he watched the bottle, now dented from its meeting with the mirror, fall to the floor and roll away, Harry's anger intensified. How the slimy potions master could do something so hurtful to him was beyond him. What was the man playing at? He knew the professor hated him, but to do something like this was totally uncalled for.

His thoughts then turned to his Occlumency lesson last Thursday night and the memories that the professor had seen. Most of the memories were of Harry's when he had been little and locked up in his cupboard thinking about a loving family he would never have. "That's it. That slimy bastard is using my memories to hurt me even more. That's got to be what he doing."

Harry looked at his reflection in the mirror again. "Well, I won't let him get away with it. I won't let him think he's won whatever game he's playing. These physical changes are from Voldemort. They're just something Dumbledore forgot to tell me about…or doesn't want to tell me about."

Now hurt that Dumbledore would keep from him more information regarding his connection to Voldemort and angry at the joke that for some reason Professor Snape was playing on him, Harry decided to forgo his wanderings in the castle and went up to his dorm room. He lay down on his bed staring at the ceiling and just let his mind wander. Before he knew it, his eyelids became heavy and he fell asleep.

* * *

After Harry darted out of his office, Severus stormed to his quarters quite upset. He slammed the door shut and sank into his sofa. He couldn't believe how bad the conversation with Harry had gone. Harry's reaction was definitely expected, but he didn't think that he would be as hurt from it as he was. The feeling was almost overwhelming. It was then that he decided to do everything possible to demonstrate how true that letter was and how much he wanted Harry to be his son. And it would begin with going to Dumbledore.

Just as he was about to leave for Dumbledore's office, he remembered that the headmaster would be away on Order business until around dinner time. Deciding to get a head start on the potions the infirmary would be need after the holidays, Severus went to his private lab instead of returning to his office. He figured he'd better brew as many potions as he could that afternoon. Not knowing what this week would bring, now that Harry knew the truth, Severus wanted to be sure he had at least half of the potions complete before the week's end.

Dinner had come too quickly for Severus. He was in the middle of brewing the required stock of pepper-up when the alarm he set earlier to alert him of dinner went off. He put the potion on stasis until he could finish it and went up to the Great Hall. As he entered the room, he had figured that everyone would have been in middle of eating seeing that his alarm was set to go off half way through the meal. However, empty plates and glasses greeted him as he sat down. He looked around the table and met Professor Dumbledore's eyes.

At Severus' questioning gaze, Dumbledore answered the unspoken question. "We are waiting for Mr. Potter to join us before we begin eating."

Severus raised his eyebrows. "You've been waiting for the boy for half an hour? Why didn't you just start eating without him?"

"That would be considered rude, Severus."

"But you would have started eating if I…." Severus began, but was cut off my Dumbledore.

"We were also waiting for you, my boy." With a small smile, Dumbledore continued. "Minerva has gone to fetch Mr. Potter. They should be here in a few minutes."

Severus didn't acknowledge the information the headmaster provided. He just turned his attention to his empty plate while wishing he set his alarm for a bit later. He could probably have finished the potion he was working on before coming up.

* * *

Minerva stood at the entrance to the Gryffindor's sixth year dormitory. She found Harry asleep atop his bed. Bringing a fist to the open door, she knocked a few times. "Mr. Potter, you had better get up. It is time for dinner." When she received no response, she knocked louder and called his name again.

Harry slowly opened his eyes and looked towards the door. He brought a hand up to his eyes and began to rub the sleep out of them. "Sorry professor. I guess I fell asleep." As he lay in his bed, the embarrassment of having his teacher wake him up made his face start to turn a shade of pink. He didn't like the thought of being woken up by a professor, especially when he really shouldn't have been sleeping.

"Hurry up and get down to the Great Hall. Dinner isn't being served until you join us." She ignored the embarrassed tinge creeping up the boy's face and left the room.

After hearing the portrait door close, Harry quickly got up, brushed a hand through his messy hair to tame it, and ran down the stairs to join the rest of the professors in the Great Hall.

As Harry opened the door and began the trek to his seat, he eyes immediately went to Severus. The man was looking down but at the sound of Harry's entrance, he raised his eyes to meet his. Harry quickly averted his gaze. He would not look at or acknowledge the man unless it was absolutely necessary.

The minute Harry sat down at the table, their dinner had appeared. Harry, not being all that hungry after what he'd gone through that afternoon, put a few ladlefuls of soup in the bowl in front of him. As he tried to eat, he felt someone's gaze on him. He had a feeling he knew who it was, but kept his eyes trained on his bowl.

Severus found himself watching Harry all throughout the meal. He tried to catch the boy's eyes, but it seemed Harry was intent on just looking at the food in front of him. He noticed that whenever he was spoken to, his answer was given to his bowl. He never once looked up at anyone at the table. He figured Harry was still trying to come to terms with the information he had learned that afternoon.

Harry had only a few spoonfuls of soup; his stomach almost wanting the liquid to make a repeat appearance. He pushed his bowl away and slowly stood up. He finally looked up since arriving for the meal and turned his attention to the Headmaster. "Professor Dumbledore, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to head back to the tower. I'm a bit tired."

"Of course my boy. You are feeling alright aren't you?" Dumbledore questioned. He didn't think Harry should be so tired since he hadn't done a thing all day.

Harry nodded his head in the affirmative.

"Good. You may leave then. We'll see you tomorrow Harry. Good night."

"G'night." Harry quickly left and went back up to his room.

Severus watched with worry as Harry left the Great Hall. He was aware of how little Harry had eaten during dinner and that he looked on the pale side. He highly doubted anyone else had noticed.

* * *

A few hours after dinner, Harry was seated at a table in front of the raging fire in the Gryffindor common room. He had a few pieces of parchment spread out along the far side, and he was busy writing away when the portrait door sprung open. Expecting to see his head of house, he was shocked to see Professor Snape walking through the door. Not wanting to talk to the man, Harry quickly turned his attention back to the letter he was writing.

Severus entered the common room, the second in as many days, and spotted Harry at a table. He breathed a small sigh of relief when he noticed that the boy looked a little better than he did at dinner. But he was still a bit worried; the emotion still feeling unnatural to him.

"Mr. Potter," Severus began as he took a seat on the sofa by Harry's table and faced the boy. Upon getting no reaction from Harry, he cleared his throat and tried again, this time with a little more authority in his voice. "Mr. Potter."

Knowing it was in his best interest to not ignore the man, Harry turned his attention to the professor.

Seeing he had the boy's attention, Severus continued. "I do not take your words at face value Mr. Potter, like the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall. So I want to ask you a question and I expect to be told the truth. Let me remind you that I do have some healer experience and will be verifying everything you say to me." He let that sink in a few seconds before continuing. "Are you feeling ill?"

Angry about this afternoon, Harry responded not caring about the tone of voice he was using. "Why do _you_ care Professor?"

"Mr. Potter," Severus warned, his usual malice slowly creeping into his voice without meaning for it to.

"Leave me alone!" Harry returned to writing his letter, ignoring the professor seated a few feet away. As he finished the sentence he was writing, he heard the chair next to him slide across the stone floor. He shifted his eyes to the chair and saw that Severus was now sitting down in the chair. Rolling his eyes, he quickly snatched up the parchment, quill, and ink and stood up from the table to go to his dorm room.

Sensing Harry wouldn't be telling him anything, Severus reached into his robes and pulled out his wand the minute Harry started grabbing everything from the table. He pointed it at Harry and muttered a diagnostic spell. Seeing the results, he replaced his wand and spoke to Harry's retreating form. "Mr. Potter, if you are feeling unwell, I think it best if we cancel tomorrow night's Occlumency lesson. It is ill-advised to proceed when you are not healthy."

Harry was genuinely surprised that the professor was actually going to allow him to skip a lesson if he was unwell, something that the man had never done in the past. But he was not going to fall for whatever scheme the man had going on. He would not admit anything to the man or show any kind of weakness. Harry turned around at the bottom of the spiral staircase. "I feel fine Professor." He still did feel a little queasy and a bit cold, but he knew it was because of this afternoon and his nightmares last night, not because he was ill. Of course, he wouldn't let the professor know anything.

"What did I say when I first walked in here Mr. Potter?" Severus asked threateningly as he stood up from the table. "I thought I had told you to tell me the truth." He couldn't believe the boy was being so defiant.

"You are not my head of house," Harry yelled, not caring what the potion's professor would do to him. "I don't have to tell you anything."

Severus was growing exasperated and slowly retreating to his usual self. "I am your professor, Mr. Potter," he growled. "And as such, you will do as I say."

Harry looked at the professor, turned around and marched up to his dorm room slamming the door shut behind him.

As Severus watched Harry walk up the stairs, he started brooding about insufferable students and their lack of respect. When he heard the door slam, it awoke something inside him. He shook his head and just realized what had happened.

He had gone to Harry to check after his well-being, to show the boy he was concerned about him and his health and to see if he needed anything; something any father would do for his son. He was expecting a little resistance from Harry, but hoped his persistence would begin to show that he was serious about being his father. That idea was shot down in a matter of ten minutes.

Determined to keep trying, Severus left the Gryffindor common room to retire to his own quarters.

* * *

_First off, I just have to share with all of you. The scene in Snape's office was the very first thing I ever wrote for this fic...over a year ago. I feel like I've been waiting forever to post it and I can't believe I finally have. :) _

_I know I had promised this update would be quick and unfortunately it wasn't. I'm done promising that I'm going to post soon. More times than not, RL or writers block gets in the way and keeps me from posting. And with the later being the case now...does anyone have anything they'd like to see? I'm a bit stuck at this point._

_And like always, thank you so much for the reviews! It means a lot._


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Seemingly on automatic pilot, Severus headed directly to the living area upon returning to his quarters and sat down on the sofa, staring at the flickering orange-red flames of the fire burning in the fireplace. He summoned a hot cup of tea and took a few sips. A minute later he picked up his latest copy of _Potions Monthly_ and began thumbing through the articles. His thoughts, however, were a big jumbled mess and he couldn't concentrate on anything he was reading. Giving up, he tossed the journal on to the side table and decided to focus on the problem at hand. Harry.

Realizing he wasn't getting anywhere with the way things were going, he knew he had to put his plan into motion. The plan he had been thinking about since meeting with Remus and Dumbledore a few days ago about where the boy would be spending the last week of the holiday. He wanted Harry to spend the week with him. He knew the boy would put up a fight and argue. But figured this solution, to Harry, had to be better than staying in that mutt's house.

Severus' first task, of course, would be to let the headmaster know he was going to stay the remainder of the week at Hogwarts. Knowing now would be as good a time as any, Severus took one last sip of tea and headed for Professor Dumbledore's office. After stating the newest password to the gargoyle while rolling his eyes, he was seated in front of the headmaster not more than five minutes later.

"Severus. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company this fine evening?" Dumbledore glanced at the clock sitting at the right corner of his desk. "Shouldn't you be packing and on your way to Spinner's End?"

"That is what I have come to discuss, Albus. I have some items of great importance that must be completed before my departure." He hoped Dumbledore wouldn't press him for any particulars and was relieved when the headmaster just nodded. "I plan to return to my home no later than early Saturday afternoon."

Dumbledore gazed at him questioningly but didn't push to get anymore information out of the man. He watched Severus relax back into the chair. "Very well Severus. But I do expect you to be off the grounds by 11 am."

"That will not be a problem." Severus stood and walked to leave the office. At the door he stopped and turned around. "Thank you Albus." At Dumbledore's nod, Severus walked through the door and left the headmaster staring at him with a knowing look.

As he walked back down to his quarters, Severus knew the next item of business was to notify Remus of the change in plans regarding Harry. Though he couldn't stand the werewolf, he would be accommodating to the man and let him know of the change. He immediately went to his study and sat down at the desk. He then summoned the tea from the other room. After taking a sip, he grimaced at the now cold liquid and cast a warming spell on the cup. He pulled out a few pieces of parchment from a side drawer, picked up his quill and began composing his note to Remus.

Once the letter was complete, Severus re-read it and was satisfied that Remus could not come up with any arguments in regard to the arrangement. After all, the man did want Severus and Harry to get to know each other better. This was the perfect way. He folded the letter and sealed it within an envelope. Then he called for a house elf to see that the letter was sent immediately.

After sitting back at the desk, Severus' eyes spotted the bottle with his real memories. He almost uncorked the bottle and switched out his memories, but as he held the wand to his temple, he quickly stopped. He had to keep the real memories bottled up in the event Harry wanted to see them. He placed the memories back in the bottle, re-corked it and put his wand away.

He really wished he was able to copy the memories. He now didn't like living with his altered ones. However, it was a known fact that if memories were ever duplicated, the original memories would deteriorate immediately and would be gone within a day. And the copies were never complete; not to mention they deteriorated within a month.

He would just have to live with viewing his real memories often until Harry decided to see them. The risk of not having them available immediately for the boy to view, not to mention having to remove them from himself and having no memories at all, was not even an option.

Running a hand over his face, Severus finished drinking the little bit of tea that remained in the cup. Deciding that he had done enough for the night, he placed the cup in the kitchen, and then retired to bed.

*************

Harry walked in to the Great Hall for lunch Tuesday afternoon and noticed the table had shrunk to half its original size. As lunch got started, he realized why. There were only two other occupants seated at the circular table; Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape. Not wanting to be in the same room as Snape let alone having to sit next to him, Harry slowly made his way to the table and sat down between the two professors.

Staring at the pot full of steaming tomato soup and a platter piled high with sandwiches, Harry decided to start with the soup. Something warm would be good since he spent the last few hours flying around the Quidditch pitch. As he began ladling some of the soup into the bowl in front of him, he could feel that he was being watched. He knew it was Snape so he didn't look up.

After eating about half his soup, Harry's curiosity got the better of him. He put his spoon down and looked to the headmaster. "Excuse me Professor, but why are we the only ones at lunch? Where are all the other professors?"

"All the professors were to leave the castle as well, Harry," Dumbledore answered over his steaming cup of tea.

Harry risked a glance at Professor Snape and was relieved to see the man's eyes were not on him. Then with confusion written on his face, he turned his attention back to the headmaster. "But if all the teachers are supposed to be gone as well, why is Professor Snape still here sir?"

"Ah, good question, my boy."

Before Dumbledore could formulate any more of his response, Severus decided to answer. He had been disappointed that every time he ran in to Harry since last night, the boy immediately turned around and left without a word to him. Now he could at least have some type of conversation with him.

"I have asked the headmaster to allow me to stay, Mr. Potter." Severus felt relieved when Harry turned his attention to him.

"Oh. Erm…when will you be leaving sir?" Harry asked, hoping it would be soon.

"I will remain here at the castle until the week is over." He watched Harry's face fall in disappointment and disgust. He was extremely hurt over Harry's response and tried his best to not show what he was feeling. But obviously he wasn't successful.

After his initial reaction, Harry looked back up to the professor to ask another question. But seeing the expression on the man's face, he changed his mind. He just stared at the professor with his mouth slightly open and a curious look on his face. Not wanting to know what that was all about, Harry quickly turned attention away from the Severus and continued with his lunch.

As Harry got up to leave the table after finishing his lunch, Severus spoke. "Mr. Potter."

Harry stopped walking and turned around to face the professor. "Yes sir?"

"To confirm what I said last night, it is ill-advised to proceed with Occlumency lessons when you are not healthy. Today's lesson will be canceled…"

"But I feel fine sir," Harry interrupted.

Severus raised an eyebrow at the boy. "…and Thursday's as well."

"But sir, I don't understand…"

"Is it not the holiday break Mr. Potter?" He watched Harry nod. "If you have a break from attending your normal classes, then you should also have a break in Occlumency."

Harry stood there staring at the professor for a few seconds. "Th…thank you sir." He watched Severus give a slight nod then left the Great Hall.

*************

As much as Harry wanted to be away from the Dursleys for the holiday week, he did not want to spend that week at Grimmauld Place. That was why on Thursday afternoon Harry found himself waiting for the door to the headmaster's office to finish opening.

Before Harry had even stepped one foot into the office, Dumbledore began speaking. "Harry, my boy. What brings you here?" After grabbing a tome, Dumbledore turned around and sat down at his desk, his eyes landing on his tin on lemon drops. "Lemon drop?" he asked as he held the tin out to Harry.

"No thank you sir," Harry said while he sat down across from the headmaster. "Sir, I was wondering if it is absolutely necessary for me to go to Grimmauld Place all next week. Isn't there any other place I can go?" Harry knew he had this conversation with Remus a few days ago, but felt he had to try with Dumbledore.

Dumbledore sat there for a bit observing Harry with his elbows perched on the desk and his chin resting on the backs of his hands.

Harry began to feel slightly nervous under the headmaster's gaze.

"Harry, I'm afraid…" Dumbledore began before Harry cut him off.

"I don't see why there is no other place for me to go. Surely my friends wouldn't mind me staying with them."

"I'm afraid, Harry, that it's not possible for you to stay anywhere else. Your safety is all that matters right now. The safest place for you to be is Grimmauld Place."

"I see, Headmaster," Harry began, getting angry. "My safety is more important than anything. To you maybe, but at this moment, not to me. I mean, I know I have to be kept safe, but can't that for once be where I want to be? The Weasley's…I know the Weasley's would protect me. They're a very powerful family. Please Professor," Harry begged. "Please for once let me stay with my friends."

Dumbledore looked at Harry sadly. "I'm sorry Harry. But you will be staying at Grimmauld Place." He then stood up from his chair. "Thank you for the visit my boy. But I'm afraid I must be off at this moment."

Harry nodded feeling miserable. He had hoped that Dumbledore would be more lenient than Remus. Dejectedly, he exited the headmaster's office without a word and wandered back to the Gryffindor tower. He headed straight to his bed after entering through the portrait hole. He lay down and stared at the ceiling. _Why bother trying for anything. I'll never get what I want. I never do. I just hope I can live through this week _Harry thought sadly.

*************

As the dinner hour approached Friday night, Severus was getting worried and was pacing back and forth in his study. He had yet to hear from Remus regarding the change in where Harry was going to stay next week. If the man didn't respond to his letter by 11am tomorrow morning, Harry would be going to Grimmauld Place. It was something Severus definitely didn't want to consent to.

Severus couldn't remember even leaving his quarters, but a half hour later, he found himself seated at the table in the Great Hall. Before he could even help himself to the food in front of him, an owl flew into the room and deposited an envelope on his plate. He opened the letter, read its contents and gave a small smile. Remus had agreed to the new arrangements. Then remembering where he was, he quickly removed the smile from his face and placed the letter in his robes.

"I hope that letter brought good news, Severus," Dumbledore asked as he watched Severus finally serve himself some of the food on the table.

"The news was what I expected."

"Good to hear."

The meal was then finished in silence, Harry leaving the room as soon as possible, which was normal for him, and Severus returning to his quarters a few minutes after that.

Severus headed straight to the sofa in front of the fire place the minute he entered the room. He let out a deep sigh as he sat down. He was glad Remus consented to the change in arrangements. As he sat there, he immediately realized he wasn't prepared at all for Harry to spend the week with him. First, he had to spend a week at his home on Spinner's End; a home he wasn't all that comfortable staying in. He hadn't spent very much time at the home since teaching at Hogwarts and he wasn't even sure what condition the house was even in.

Then there was the fact that he had to have the boy live with him for a week. He knew he wanted to spend the time with Harry and hoped to change the boy's mind about him, but he wasn't all that comfortable with knowing he'd have to spend the time with another person. He felt himself a loner and enjoyed solitude. He couldn't know what to expect this coming week. He could only hope for the best.

There was one thing he knew he had control over; Spinner's End. He stood up and went over to the fireplace and grabbed a handful of floo powder. As he threw the powder in the fireplace he walked into it and stated "Spinner's End." He had to be sure the house was livable.

A while later, Severus returned to his quarters at Hogwarts. He was about to speak with the Headmaster and Harry about the change in arrangements, but one glance at the clock told him it wouldn't happened until tomorrow. It was too late at night to disturb either of them so the news would have to be broken the day they were to leave.

*************

While finishing up his cinnamon swirl French toast, Harry heard the headmaster call his name. He put his fork down and looked up.

"Harry, I need you to come by my office at 11am this morning."

"Yes sir," Harry replied with a gulp, and watched the headmaster nod at him. As he returned his gaze to the last of the meal in front of him, he lost his appetite. Instead of eating, he swirled a small piece of the French toast through a glob of syrup a few times then let his fork drop on to the plate. First he had to spend one whole week in Sirius' house and now the headmaster wanted to see him. What he did now to be called to the headmaster's office, he didn't know.

At the sound of Harry's fork dropping, Severus looked up. One look at the boy's face told him all he needed to know. Harry looked like he was going to face his death in a few hours, not leave for the holiday for a week. And he probably thought he was in trouble. That was the only time the boy was probably ever called to the Headmaster's office. Severus watched Harry take one last sip of juice, and get up from the table. He more than likely was going to wander around the castle until 11am. That would be when he would tell Professor Dumbledore and Harry about the new arrangements. No use letting the boy dwell for long at that news.

Not knowing why he was being called to the Headmaster's office, at 10:50am, Harry made the trek from the Gryffindor common room up to the man's office, with much trepidation. The way things had been going for him this past week, being summoned couldn't be good. When he arrived on the floor that held Dumbledore's office, he slowed down his pace. And in his nervousness, he began clenching and unclenching his fists.

Halfway to the stone gargoyle, Harry heard footsteps behind him. Wanting to stall, he stopped walking and turned around to see who was walking through the corridor behind him. Who he saw made him wish he just kept on walking and ignored the sound.

"Potter," Severus acknowledged, making eye contact with the boy.

Harry had hoped he wouldn't see the man until classes resumed. "Professor," he forced himself to say. He would rather have ignored the man, but decided it would be best if he didn't. He wasn't sure what kind of trouble he was already in and didn't want to add any more to the list.

Severus walked up to Harry and past him to the gargoyle. He muttered Dumbledore's latest password. As the gargoyle sprung aside, Severus turned to motion for Harry to go first.

Harry reluctantly made his way up the staircase, painfully aware that Severus was right behind him; too close in Harry's opinion. When the two arrived at the top of the stairs, they found the door to the headmaster's office open. Harry stopped walking, wanting the professor to go in first and do whatever it was he was there to see the headmaster about.

"Go on Potter," Severus stated to the now stopped boy in front of him.

Harry turned around and looked at the professor. He then walked slowly into the room.

"Have a seat Harry." Dumbledore pointed to a chair in front of his desk. Then he looked up and saw Severus at the doorway. "Severus, I thought you would be gone by now." He quickly looked at Harry. "As you can see, I've got something to attend to with young Mr. Potter. If you would be so kind, I would appreciate if you would come back in about a half an hour."

"I'm sorry Headmaster, but this cannot wait." Severus entered the room and stood off to the side of the desk.

"Very well." Dumbledore turned to Harry. "Could you please wait outside the door until I call you back in Mr. Potter?"

Harry went to stand up and leave the room.

"I would like Mr. Potter to stay," Severus began. "This concerns him and he should be present."

At those words, Harry stopped. It was quite unusual for anyone to let him stay in the room when they were discussing him. He was usually told to leave, which on more than one occasion upset him greatly. He was silently grateful for the man, even though he couldn't stand him.

Looking up at the professor and seeing the man's eyes on him, he gave him a small acknowledgement of thanks.

As Harry sat back down, Dumbledore spoke. "Very well, Severus. Please continue."

Severus looked one more time at Harry, took a deep breath and began what he knew would be a one of his most trying conversations. "Mr. Potter will not be spending next week at Grimmauld Place."

At those words, Harry smiled slightly.

"But Severus, there is no other place he can go. Grimmauld Place is currently the only safe place he can be, outside of Hogwarts and his relatives."

"That is not true Albus. I think you know of one other place?"

Dumbledore looked at Severus for a few seconds, trying to understand what the man was getting at. "I see. Do you think it wise Severus?"

"I believe that anywhere Mr. Potter stays has to be better than his godfather's house." He looked to Harry. "Isn't that true?"

Harry looked between the two men, trying to comprehend what was going on. "Yes," he answered hesitantly, not liking where this conversation was possibly heading.

"I believe my solution will solve the problem of Mr. Potter's reluctance."

"What are you saying?" Harry interrupted. Not fully understanding what was going on.

"I believe Harry," Dumbledore began, "that Professor Snape is offering to take you for the week."

"No!" Harry shouted. There was no way in hell he would spend the week with Snape. "You can't be serious. He hates me….can't even stand to be in the same room with me for class. How can I spend an entire week with him? Besides, he's trying to get me to believe…to think that…" Harry stopped speaking, not wanting to discuss whatever game Severus was playing with him.

"Harry, you know that the Professor doesn't hate you," Dumbledore responded softly.

"Mr. Potter." When Harry wouldn't look up, Severus tried again. "Mr. Potter….Harry."

Harry quickly shifted his gaze from the headmaster to Severus at the use of his first name.

Severus ignored the smiling headmaster in the room. "Harry, you know no harm will come of you while you are in my care."

"How do I know that? You haven't shown me otherwise."

"I do believe we were able to spend two days together before the start of term without anything traumatic happening. And as I recall, upon your entrance to Grimmauld Place, you did say you would rather spend the time with me in the dungeons that in that house. Isn't that correct?" Severus asked, smirking.

"I didn't say…how did you….never mind." Harry slumped in his chair, knowing that was indeed what he had said. But of course he didn't really mean it. "Headmaster, do I need to spend the week with Professor Snape? If my choice is to either stay with him or at Grimmauld Place, I'd rather spend it at Grimmauld Place."

"That is fine Harry. Whatever you decide." Dumbledore looked to Severus and saw disappointment on the man's face, but decided to ignore it. He would find out what that was about at a later time. Right now, he had to concentrate on Harry. "Severus, if that is what you stopped by for, then you may leave."

"I'm sorry, Albus, but I cannot leave. At least not without Potter."

"What?" Harry yelled, standing up. "I thought I already decided. I want to go to Grimmauld Place."

Severus looked over at Harry. "Sit back down please," he stated calmly.

Harry slowly sank back down into the chair.

"I'm afraid Mr. Potter's only option is to come with me. Earlier this week I had contacted Remus and informed him of the change in the boy's arrangements. Remus is continuing with his vacation and will not be returning until classes resume."

"Why would you go ahead and make arrangements without my knowledge?" Dumbledore asked. "And what, may I ask, was Remus' exact response to the news? I'm sure he wasn't at all happy."

"Quite the contrary, Albus. He was pleased with the change."

"You're lying," Harry interrupted. "There is no way Professor Lupin would be happy about me staying with you."

"Mr. Potter, please sit down and let me finish." He watched Harry sit back down. "So you see, Potter will be staying with me."

"Very well, Severus," Dumbledore stated, giving in. "Harry, please be sure all your belongings are packed. I'm quiet sure Professor Snape would like to leave as soon as possible.

"But I," Harry began and then quickly closed his mouth. He knew he'd get nowhere. Then he remembered what he thought a few days ago. '_Why bother trying for anything. I'll never get what I want. I never do._' This conversation reaffirmed that belief. "Fine," he stated sharply. "I'll go get ready."

Severus watched Harry get up and slowly leave the office. "Be at my office in half an hour."

"Yes sir," Harry called back. Then he made his way to his dorm room to pack. This was going to be the worst week in his life.

* * *

Sorry for the delay in this chapter. I found mysefl reading fanfics instead of working on my own. =) Hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

An hour after meeting Severus in his office, Harry found himself boarding a Muggle train in Hogsmeade; something he didn't think entered that village. Severus led him to an empty compartment and closed the door behind them once they entered. Harry sat down near the window on one side and stared at the few other passengers who were boarding. Severus removed his cloak, and laid it on the far side of the empty bench seat and sat down, more towards the compartment door.

After the train gave a lurch, Severus removed a book from the pocket of his cloak and looked to Harry. "Mr. Potter, we will be on the train for many hours. Go ahead and pull something out of your trunk to keep yourself occupied." He did not want to entertain the boy for the next four hours. Actually he didn't know how to if it would have been needed.

Harry tore his eyes away from the slowly moving scenery and looked to the professor. "Yes sir." He opened his trunk that he left at his feet and pulled out one of the Quidditch books Ron had lent him. Not currently in the mood to read, he set the book down next to him and returned to looking out the window.

Raising his eyes from his book, Severus noticed that Harry left his trunk sitting on the floor. Giving a huff, he set his book down, stood up, and stowed away the trunk above their seats.

Seeing movement to his left, Harry moved his eyes away from the window. Eying his professor, he began to feel slightly guilty. So far, being in the company of his professor wasn't that bad, but then again, it had only been an hour. He had seven more days to get through. He knew he'd better not get on the man's bad side. "Thank you, sir. I'm sorry I didn't think of putting my trunk away. I wouldn't have been able to lift it. Figured I'd just leave it there."

"You could have asked for help Potter," Severus stated, wanting to ignore the acknowledgment from Harry, surprising as it was. "Is it not uncommon for those who need it to ask for help; though you've never shown comprehension of that as of yet."

The last statement from Severus made Harry upset and he quickly turned his attention back out to the window. How was he supposed to get along with this man when almost everything out of his mouth was an insult? "Yeah, like you would have helped if I asked," Harry responded softly, almost as a whisper.

Not expecting the man to hear him, Harry was surprised when Severus responded. "Well, we'll never know the answer to that now, will we?"

Harry ignored him and continued looking out the window.

Severus smirked and returned his attention to his book. He knew his comments would be taken the wrong way by Harry, but he didn't feel he needed to explain.

An hour and a half later, Severus abruptly stood up. "I will go get us some lunch." After a brief pause, he amended his statement. "Is there anything in particular you would like to eat?"

Harry set down his book and looked at the professor in confusion. He wasn't used to being asked what he wanted for meals. He would have loved to tell the man what he wanted, but he honestly didn't know what he wanted or what was available. The only train he'd ever been on was the Hogwarts Express and the trolley there only had sweets. But he would never tell his professor that. "I….erm….I'll have….whatever you're having is fine with me," he finally answered, turning a little pink in embarrassment from not being able to tell the man what he would like to eat.

Severus nodded and walked out of the compartment. Before shutting the door behind him, he turned around and faced Harry. "Do not leave this compartment while I am gone."

"Yes sir," Harry replied.

He shut the door behind him leaving Harry alone with his confusing thoughts.

Harry didn't know what was going on, but this was definitely not the potions master he knew. The man would never ask him what he wanted nor help him out. But then, he had also insulted him. At least he thought that's what the man had done. The more he thought about the statement, though, he wasn't so sure anymore. He pondered that over for a while and was broken out of his thoughts when the compartment door opened. He jumped and turned towards the door. After seeing Severus standing there, he tried to get his breathing under control and put a hand over his wildly beating heart. "Bloody hell…you scared me."

Severus smirked. "I apologize. There is no need to be so jumpy. But next time, you should be better prepared." Severus' eyes landed on the wand handle sticking out of Harry's jacket.

Harry followed Severus' gaze to his wand. "Oh, right."

"No matter. You will be better prepared next time, I hope." Severus walked over to the window and pulled up the small table that was lying against the wall. He set the bag he was carrying on the table and started to empty it. He pulled out a large pitcher of lemonade, two plastic cups full of ice, and two plates that held turkey and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat bread, pasta salad, and pickle spears.

He set one of the plates in front of Harry, removed the plastic wrap surrounding it and pulled out a napkin and fork and set them beside the plate. He placed the other plate in front of where he would sit and took out another napkin and fork. He then set the presumably empty bag on the seat next to him. Next he took the pitcher of lemonade and poured Harry and himself a glass. When the boy just sat there staring, he spoke. "What are you waiting for? Go ahead and eat."

"Yes sir," Harry replied, however he didn't start to eat until Severus sat down a minute later.

Severus noted that Harry didn't start eating until he was sitting down in front of the table, and he was pleasantly surprised. It seemed the boy's relatives taught him some manners after all.

Half way through the meal, Harry spoke up. "Thank you for lunch, professor. Please let me know how much I owe you. I'll pay you when we get to your house.

"You will do no such thing. Now finish eating your lunch."

"But sir…"

"What did I say, Potter?" Severus asked, his voice becoming threatening. Why couldn't the boy take a simple act of kindness without question?

Harry was taken aback. The professor hadn't spoken to him in that tone in quite a while. "Sorry," he responded quietly, and turned back to his lunch. After a few bites he gave up, beginning to feel nauseous, not sure if it was because of the professor or not. "I don't think I can eat anymore, sir. I can put the plastic wrap back over it in case I get hungry later."

Severus pulled out the plastic wrap and handed it to Harry. He continued eating his lunch while watching the boy, expertly he noted, wrap the plate with the remaining sandwich, salad, and pickle. He, himself, had a hard time wrapping the plates up after asking the attendant in the food car for a way to bring the lunches back to their compartment.

Harry sat back against the seat and stared out the window, arms wrapped around his stomach.

After finishing his lunch a few minutes later, Severus dug back in the bag and pulled out a Muggle puzzle book. "I thought you might finish your book before we arrive and get bored so I bought you this." He held the book out to Harry.

"Th…thank you sir," Harry said in awe. This was the second thing that the professor had bought him and it was still only the first day of their week holiday. He took the book and placed it on the table next to his lunch. "Right now I don't think I could concentrate on it." He still felt a little nauseous. "But if you'd like, you can go ahead and work on it."

"I may take you up on your offer." Severus reached into the bag again and pulled out a large chocolate brownie with fudge frosting slathered on top. "I also went ahead and got you dessert. Since you haven't been able to finish your lunch, I'll leave it next to your sandwich."

"Thanks." Harry yawned and returned his gaze to the window. He started breathing deeply trying to fight off the feeling he was going to be sick. When the feeling went away, he let out a sigh and closed his eyes.

Over the next few hours, Severus read more of his book and after Harry finished working through some of the puzzles in the Muggle puzzle book, he decided to see what the puzzle book actually was. Finding it was extremely interesting, he pulled an everlasting ink quill out of his cloak and set to work on some of the puzzles. Harry spent that time reading more from the Quidditch book.

Looking up from the puzzle book a while late, Severus noticed that Harry was lying down on his side with his arms wrapped around his stomach and was asleep. He saw the boy shiver, but thought nothing of it. He turned his attention back to the puzzle book.

After completing the puzzle on the current page, Severus looked back up to Harry. The boy was shivering almost constantly. His first instinct was to ignore Harry. But now he couldn't. His son needed him; even it was just to keep him warm. He got up, picked up his cloak and draped it over Harry; blaming this action on the viewing of his memories before he packed them up a few minutes before Harry arrived earlier that morning. But he had a small smile on his lips the entire time and he couldn't help but run his hand through the boy's messy hair once either. He reminded himself that this was how he was supposed to act. This was what a father was supposed to do.

*************

Two hours later, with all of Harry's belongings shrunken and residing in a jacket pocket, Severus and Harry were walking through a Muggle neighborhood. After rounding a corner, Harry slowed his walking down while taking a look at the neighborhood that surrounded them.

The first thing he noticed was the smell. It was almost like they were walking through a dump loaded with mounds and mounds of trash. Because the nauseous feeling Harry had while on the train wasn't completely gone and the smell wasn't helping matters, he started breathing through his mouth. He didn't need to get sick in front of the professor. Feeling his stomach settle a little bit, he concentrated on his surroundings again. The neighborhood looked abandoned though he knew that it wasn't. He could hear kids screaming and yelling in the distance. There were dilapidated brick row homes lining both sides of the cobblestone street. It almost reminded Harry of the neighborhood Grimmauld Place was located. He looked down the street to see if the entire area looked the same; it did. At the end of the street, he spotted an ominous chimney bearing down on the row of homes below. He did not like the feeling he got from this neighborhood.

At the end of the block, Harry saw a run down playground on his left. He looked up to Severus and saw him slow down and glance at the area then pick up his pace. That seemed a bit odd to Harry, but he wasn't about to analyze the professor. Once Harry was opposite the playground he stopped. The swings and slides looked to be in poor shape, but he could tell the grass would be lush in the spring and there would be a lot of shade trees covering the grounds. In the back, Harry could see and hear a river. This looked like a place he would want to visit while staying here, if the professor's house was nearby and he was allowed to go outside. It would be a great place to escape to.

As Severus passed the playground, he slowed down and looked over to it. The place held so many memories and he couldn't believe how much it hurt to see it now. He actually hadn't seen the place since he was a teenager. The ache he felt at the memories made him want to get to his house as soon as possible and he picked up his pace. Not hearing Harry next to him a few houses later, Severus looked over his shoulder. Harry was stopped at the playground. "We are almost there, Potter," he yelled towards the boy. "Quit dawdling."

Harry quickly met up with the professor. "Sorry sir. Erm…where are we exactly?" he asked, not liking the looks of the area, especially considering the man said they were almost to his house.

"The neighborhood is called Spinner's End. Our house is the very last one up ahead." Severus looked toward the house and shivered, memories of his childhood came rushing to the front of his mind. He pushed them away and hoped that he would soon build new memories, better memories, of being in the house.

Harry looked towards the house and gulped in disgust.

A large two story house was set back from the sidewalk. The brown paint on its siding was chipped off along most of it. The shutters on all of the windows were dangling from the wall; looking like they were being held on by one screw and that if a strong wind came by, they'd fall off. The screens in the windows were torn and half of the windows were either missing or were broken. Some of the windows were even boarded up with plywood.

The grounds surrounding the house looked as bad. Weeds rose up at least three feet high all around the house. There was a picket fence surrounding the property which at one time was probably white, but was now grey. Some of its slats were just lying on the ground leaving huge holes in the fence. And the cracked concrete walkway from the gate at the sidewalk to the front door was also covered in weeds. The property looked like a pretty good rendition of a haunted house. One could only image that the inside of the house looked just like the outside.

"Figures the old bat would live in a place that looked like this," Harry whispered to himself, though Severus did hear him.

"Mind your tongue Potter," Severus hissed. "Being my son, you will live here too."

"Are you kidding me sir?" Harry asked disgusted and pretended not to hear the man's last statement. "I am not staying in there. Just send me to Grimmauld Place."

Severus smirked at Harry's comment but didn't say a word. He just continued walking towards the house. When he got to the front of the gate he stopped and looked next to him thinking Harry would be there. Not seeing the boy, he looked down the sidewalk and spotted Harry three houses away. "We do not have all day, Potter," Severus snapped impatiently. The boy was beginning to get on his last nerves. It had been a long day and he was extremely tired and irritable. "Get over here. Now!"

At his professor's tone, Harry quickly walked to the house and stood beside the professor. He could tell Severus was nearing the end of his rope.

"This is where we'll be living when we're not at Hogwarts during the school year."

"Besides this week, I am not living here. Ever!" Harry responded, thoroughly disgusted with the house and the fact that Severus assumed he was falling for the game of him being the man's son.

"We'll see," was all Severus said in response. He then opened the gate and began walking towards the front door.

As Harry followed he could feel the various wards which were placed upon the property, something he didn't think he was supposed to feel. _Guess Dumbledore made Snape make sure I was really safe_. The second he was inside the gate, his mouth dropped open in shock and he stopped walking. The grounds, house, and even the air, drastically changed.

The house was spectacular. It was actually a three story brick house, and didn't have any wood siding like he saw only minutes before. Every window he could see was spotless and there wasn't a crack or scratch on them. The grounds were beautiful. There was a shade tree off to the left side of the house and two beds full of every flower imaginable. He even spotted a small water fountain and pond at the edge of the property line on the right. The walkway to the front door was made out of large stones that matched the brick of the house, not the cracked concrete he saw earlier. Looking at the property, you couldn't even tell it was winter.

"I love magic," Harry whispered in awe. After looking around for another few seconds, he spotted the scowl on the potion master's face and ran to the front of the house. "Sorry sir," he apologized.

Severus ignored Harry's apology and opened the front door, expecting Harry to enter. When the boy just stood outside still admiring everything, Severus turned toward Harry clearly annoyed. "Are you expecting a personal invitation Potter?" Severus spat. "Because if you think so, you are sorely mistaken." He grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him into the house.

"Ouch!" Harry exclaimed, then withdrew his arm from the professor's grip. He rubbed at his arm as glared at the man. _What is it with his changing moods?_ Harry thought.

Severus looked at Harry in concern. He hadn't grabbed the boy all that hard. At least not hard enough for it to hurt.

Harry stopped just inside the house and looked around, still in awe. As he turned towards his left, he met the somewhat angry glare of Severus. Seeing the scowl still on his face, he reluctantly turned his attention to the man.

"Go get settled in and unpack, Mr. Potter. Your bedroom is on the second floor. It's the third bedroom on the right. I'll be up in a few minutes to show you the house." Severus spun around and left towards one of the rooms off to the side of the entry way. He needed to get his temper under control. He was becoming too short with the boy and it wasn't deserved. Old habits die hard he realized. He entered the kitchen and put some water to boil for tea. He could have used his wand and had his tea already, but doing things the Muggle way always calmed him down.

Severus' mood affecting his own, Harry stalked up to the second floor and to the third door on the right. He opened the door and glanced around the room in distaste. _Guess I shouldn't have expected more. I can see where I stand here, though it shouldn't have come as a surprise. _

The room was extremely small, dark, dingy, and very dusty. He hoped that once he cleaned it, the room would be a little better. On the far wall of the room was a twin bed with a rusty silver headboard and footboard. The blanket on top, which might have been a dark green, was full of holes and burn marks and covered in a layer of dust. He hoped the bed was at least more comfortable than the old mattress the Dursleys had given him when he acquired Dudley's second bedroom. He walked over to it and sat down, the springs squeaking in response. As he sat down, a cloud of dust enveloped him.

Coughing a few times from the dust, he placed his hands on the bed next to him and took a look at the rest of the room. The only other piece of furniture in the room was a mahogany desk near the window. He could see gouge marks all over the desk. On the wall with the door to the hallway was a small closet. There didn't look to be a washroom attached.

Harry shivered after looking around the room. It was, of course, bigger than the cupboard under the stairs where he lived for eleven years at the Dursleys, but still it was very small. The room looked more like a closet than a bedroom. There was only about two feet of walkway around the bed.

He glanced at the walls next. Three out of the four looked like they were painted in an ugly light brown, but he couldn't be sure since it was so dark in the room. The other wall was covered with wallpaper which was torn and peeling. The pattern looked to be green and silver stripes, but like the rest of the room, it was too dark and dirty to tell. He did spot crayon drawings on the bottom three feet of two of the walls. This was a child's bedroom, he realized.

Harry's eyes were next drawn to the hardwood floor which was in very bad condition. He could imagine getting splinters in the bottom of his feet if he walked barefoot in the room. Wanting to see what type of view his room overlooked, if any, and hoping it was better than the room itself, he got up and walked over to the window.

*************

After determining himself calm enough, Severus decided he gave Harry enough time to unpack his trunk. As he set his near empty cup of tea in the sink and walked out of the kitchen, he almost gave a smile at the reaction Harry gave to the house after they walked through the wards. That was one thing he had been looking forward to witnessing since leaving Hogwarts that morning, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone, not even to Harry.

As he walked up the stairs to the second floor, he now couldn't wait for the reaction the boy would have to his bedroom. Severus made the room everything he had dreamed of when he was Harry's age. Once he determined that the two of them would be living at Spinners End, Severus decided he would give Harry the bedroom he had always wanted while living there, but was denied by his father, claiming people like him didn't deserve rooms like that. That they only deserved the smallest room in the house, the room that had the smallest window and closet, the room that…the room that's door was currently open, Severus noticed as he reached the second floor landing. The room he thought he had locked.

Severus walked into the room and stopped in the doorway as he spotted Harry at the window. He tried to push down his anger at seeing the boy in the room. There had to be a logical explanation. At least he hoped there was. But knowing how the boy had been over the last five years, he wasn't expecting one. He watched as Harry grabbed the draperies and pulled them open. The movement caused a huge cloud of dust to come from the old worn fabric. Before Harry was able to look out the window to see his view, he was overcome by a handful of sneezes.

"It seems we have something in common," Severus stated from the doorway. "You seemed to have inherited my dreadful dust allergy." He pulled out a handkerchief from inside his cloak, walked over to the boy and tried to hand it to him.

Harry turned around and looked at the offered cloth in disgust. "We have nothing in common." He sneezed again.

"I disagree, but now is not the time to get into that." He put the handkerchief back in his cloak. "What are you doing in here?"

"You told me to go up and unpack," he huffed, "Or did you forget?"

"Do not mock me, Mr. Potter. I know well what I said. I said for you to go to the third bedroom on the right."

"I did," Harry said exasperated. "This is the third room."

"This _is_ the third room, but not the third _bed_room."

"Then why didn't you just say the fourth room?" he asked, getting angry.

Severus didn't answer. He turned away from Harry and walked out of the room. "Your room is the next one. Go," he growled. He was sorry he had spoken that way to Harry, but he couldn't stand being in this room or having the boy in here. No doubt he'd ask questions about it later, but he didn't want to think about that now.

"Yes sir," Harry replied and walked quickly out of the room. He walked down the hall and opened the door to the bedroom that would be his for the next week, took five steps in and stopped. He looked around the room with his mouth open in shock.

Severus quickly closed the door to the small bedroom and joined Harry. He stood slightly behind the boy but was able to clearly see the expression on his face. The expression melted all the anger he had towards the boy only seconds before.

Feeling Severus' presence behind him, Harry turned around. "Sir, are you sure this is where you want me to stay this week? I'd be happy in the other room." Harry's stomach clenched as he said that. He really didn't want the other room, but he knew that he deserved that room and it was probably where Severus preferred him to stay.

"This is your room; for this week and always. That other room is not fit to be anyone's bedroom," he spat.

Harry flinched, but he had the feeling the professor's anger was not directed at him. "Erm…okay. Thank you for letting me stay in here this week." He would not accept that Severus said it was his room forever. "Do you…do want me to unpack or did you want to show me the house first?"

"Go ahead and unpack. I'll be back in fifteen minutes." Severus left Harry to explore his room and he headed back down to the kitchen.

After Severus left, Harry stayed where he was for a few more minutes just taking everything in. He couldn't believe this would be where was staying for the next seven days. "This room is absolutely brilliant," he stated a few seconds later. "I wish I had a room like this instead of Dudley's second bedroom."

The space directly in front of Harry was more like a sitting room. On the left wall was a fireplace with a desk and bookcase to the right side of it. In front of the fireplace was a large midnight blue rug with a small loveseat, a comfortable oversized chair and an oak coffee table situated on top facing the fireplace. Along the back wall of the sitting area was a bay window with white draperies complete with midnight blue and red plaid cushions on the window seat.

Up a step towards the right of the sitting area was the actual bedroom. Along the wall with the bay window was a queen size bed with an ornate oak headboard. It was topped with a comforter and four fluffy pillows, all with the same pattern as the cushions on the window seat. At the foot of the bed was an oak hope chest. On either side of the bed were night tables, in the same oak as the bed. Each held a small silver and white lamp. A six-drawer dresser was located on the wall shared with the hallway. It too was made of oak and had etchings on all the drawers, the same design as the headboard. Another bay window with a window seat was on the right side of the bed. It too had matching cushions.

Down from the right of the dresser was a door. Wanting to see what lay inside, Harry walked over and went inside. The door led to the bathroom. Upon entering, he spotted a walk-in closet on his right. Directly in front of him was a small cabinet, more than likely holding towels and other items needed for the bathroom. There was a sink with a countertop stretching to the left where it stopped at the toilet. Next to the toilet was a large tub and shower. The color scheme of the bathroom was silver and white with the towels and shower curtain the same as the comforter and cushions in the bedroom.

Completely in awe with the bathroom and bedroom, Harry went back out and sat down on the bed. His eyes roamed the room again. "This room is brilliant. Too bad it has to be in Snape's house. Maybe I can just forget where I am." Harry shook his head. "Not likely." He then spent five more minutes just sitting there looking around the room before he decided he'd better unpack.

Fifteen minutes after leaving Harry in his room, Severus walked back up to get the boy. When he entered the room, he found him sitting in the sitting area's window seat. "Come along Mr. Potter. I'd like to show you the rest of the house."

Harry turned from the window to face Severus. "Okay." He stood up and followed the professor out of the room.

"We will begin downstairs." Severus led the boy down to the entry way and began the tour.

When they finished ten minutes later, Harry had seen the kitchen, dining room, library, living room, the door to the basement which held a potion's lab, three empty bedrooms, four various closets, Snape's bedroom, or at least the closed door to it, three bathrooms, and the backyard.

Severus dropped the boy back off into his room after the tour. "Dinner will be in an hour in the dining room. Do not be late."

"Yes sir." Harry watched Severus walk away and closed the bedroom door. Severus' house wasn't at all what he expected it to be. True, most of the rooms were quite filthy, but the house was more than what he thought it would be. During the tour he had also learned that this was the house that the professor had grown up in.

*************

Severus and Harry sat at the dining room table eating dinner in an uncomfortable silence. Halfway through the meal, Severus stopped eating and looked toward Harry. "Mr. Potter, now would be a good time to discuss the rules of the house."

"Yes sir." Harry wondered when this conversation would be coming.

"There are no house elves in this house Mr. Potter. As such, any cooking and cleaning will be done by us." Severus watched as Harry nodded his head. "Breakfast will be at eight every morning. I expect you to be up and dressed properly at the table at that time. After breakfast, you will clean up your bedroom and bathroom then attend to your studies. Lunch will be on your own, you may eat whenever you feel hungry, though I'd prefer you to eat between noon and one thirty. I have already stocked up the refrigerator, freezer, and pantry. After lunch, if you haven't already finished your studying, you may do whatever you like around the house; mind you stay out of the basement, the bedroom you wandered in earlier today, and my bedroom. Or if you prefer, you can go exploring outside."

Harry interrupted. "Sir, how far can I go? Can I go to the playground we walked past?"

"You should stay on the property." Severus watched Harry's face fall at that statement. "However, you do have permission to go to the playground, though I would prefer if you stayed around the house. Tomorrow morning I'll add to the wards. If you decide to go outside, either on the property or to the playground, I would like to know."

"Yes, sir. Thank you." Harry decided now he'd ask the professor about the room he was in earlier this afternoon. "Sir, who's room was I in earlier today? It looked like it belonged to a child. Was it yours?"

"That is of no concern to you. You will stay out of that room." Severus hoped that response would placate the boy. And it seemed to work, for the time being at least.

Harry nodded in agreement, but knew he'd find out the truth before they left at the end of the week; with or without Severus telling him.

Severus continued on with the rules of the house. "Dinner will be at six and will be made by both you and me, though I'll probably be doing most of the cooking since your relatives no doubt waited on you hand and foot."

Harry was going to respond to this comment, but figured it wasn't worth it. The professor would find out soon enough that he could cook, pretty well if he did say so himself.

"You will meet me in the kitchen at five thirty every night to prepare dinner. After dinner, you again can do whatever you would like, but I would like it to be something quiet." Severus wasn't quite so sure why he was about to say what he was going to next, but he thought it would be something the boy would enjoy. "If you care to join me, I usually have tea and biscuits in the evening right before bed. Which reminds me. You will have a bed time Mr. Potter. I know you're on holiday, but you still need to have some type of sleep schedule. You will be in bed by ten every night."

Harry grimace at the term 'bed time.' It made it sound like he was a toddler, not a sixteen year old. "Our curfew at Hogwarts during the holiday is midnight."

"And are you at Hogwarts Mr. Potter?" Severus questioned.

"No," Harry replied.

"Then you should have no problem with adhering to my rules."

"But sir, I am not a little kid." Harry wasn't sure why he was arguing about this, something so petty, but now that he started, he couldn't stop.

"You are a child," Severus stated simply.

"I am sixteen."

"Yes, a child of sixteen. When you become of age and graduate Hogwarts, you can then make your own rules. Until then, you will adhere by mine."

"Fine," Harry shouted, then quickly left the dining room, leaving his half-eaten dinner behind. He entered his bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

Harry paced the bedroom for quite a while, unsure why he was so upset about the professor giving him a bed time. The more he thought about it though, the more he realized that this was probably where Severus' control over every little thing he did started. Well, he decided, he wouldn't take it.

Still angry, he walked over to the bay window and sat down with his back against the wall. He pulled his knees up, rested his head on them and stared out at the grounds. They looked so beautiful and peaceful. Something he wished he felt. He probably would have felt that if things had ended different just a few months ago. Not wanting his thoughts to go down that road yet, Harry quickly tried to think of something else. He hadn't yet grieved for his godfather and he certainly didn't want to do that now, in this house. He spotted a cat wandering around in the grass below him, and just started watching it, wondering what it was like to be a cat.

Harry stayed in the window seat for another hour until he felt sleepy, then he went to his bed. He knew it was early, but with everything that happened today, he was desperate for sleep so he could forget everything. Unfortunately sleep didn't come easy and it was after eleven when Harry finally fell asleep.

*************

Severus watched the boy leave the kitchen and then shook his head, wondering if he made a mistake in taking the boy in for the week. "And so it begins." A few minutes later, he finished his dinner and took to cleaning up the dining room and kitchen. He was not going to let the boy's attitude and temper get to him. After completing those tasks, Severus went up to his room to unpack and settle in. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how he looked at it, his bedroom was right across the hall from Harry's. He didn't hear a sound coming from the boy's room as he entered his own.

Closing the door behind him, Severus unpacked his trunk and put his belongings away. It was an odd feeling at first, especially with the room having been his parent's room when he was a child. At least he changed the room's appearance and furniture when he got the house ready yesterday so he didn't feel as disgusted as he could have felt.

The remaining item in Severus's trunk, after he finished unpacking, was the cardboard box with the bottle of memories and the letter from Lily. He placed the box on the far night table, knowing he'd be wanting, or needing, the items soon. Feeling satisfied, Severus headed down to the library. He shuttered as he walked into the room, the memories of his past in this room assaulting him.

The library was one room in the house his father never allowed him in when he was growing up in the house. Not after he did accidental magic at the age of six. He was extremely angry with his father for yelling at his mother and while the three were in the room, all the books flew off their shelves, broke the windows in the room, completely destroyed one of his father's family heirlooms, and then littered the floor. It became one of the events in Severus' life he would never forget. His father became so enraged he stormed at Severus, caught the skinny boy by the back of the neck, dragged him to his bedroom, and beat him with the metal buckle end of his belt until he was almost unconscious. A while later Severus found out that his father had also locked him in his room as well. He sat on his bed crying. And a few minutes later, his father came back into the room and beat him some more, without the belt, all the while saying 'if you do not stop crying this instant, I'll give you something to cry about you big baby. I never want to hear any sniveling out of you again unless you want a repeat of tonight.' That was the last night he was allowed in the library and the last night he cried.

Ridding his mind of those thoughts, Severus strode over to one of the bookshelves, grabbed a Muggle novel and sat down in one of the wing-backed chairs. When nine thirty rolled around, Severus headed to the kitchen and made some tea. He brought a steaming mug of tea along with a small plate of biscuits to the library and returned to the chair to enjoy his nightly ritual. He had hoped that Harry would join him, but when ten o'clock rolled around, he gave up that hope and continued on with the book he was reading. It was after midnight when Severus decided to retire for the evening, dreading what the next day might bring.

* * *

Thank you all for your kind reviews for my previous chapter. I tried to respond to all of you, but RL got in the way. I'm also sorry I didn't update sooner. I'm finding this story is currently heading into a direction I hadn't even planned on or thought of. So with that being the case, I'm currently finding it a bit harder to write. I hope this chapter wasn't too boring though and you were still able to enjoy it.

Now I'd like some help from all of you readers. Without really giving anything away, the next chapter will be about Harry's seven day stay with Severus. I've got a few ideas of what will happen, but I could sure use more. If there's anything you'd like to see, please let me know. Thanks!


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21  
**

With the moonlight filtering in through the bedroom window, Harry could tell it was still fairly early in the morning. Too early to be wide awake. Instead of trying to get back to sleep, he grabbed the comforter from the bed and brought it over to one of the window seats. He wrapped himself up in the comforter and curled up on the seat. As he watched the shadows of the gently blowing trees dancing in the moonlight, he couldn't help but think about the dream that awoke him just fifteen minutes earlier.

Like quite a few of his dreams these past six months, this one was about Sirius. But it wasn't one of his usual ones. He had gone to bed last night thinking about what this Christmas would be like having to spend it with the potions master. With those thoughts in the back of his mind, Harry started dreaming about what his Christmas was like last year with Sirius and what it would have been like this year if that night at the Ministry never happened, and what it would possibly be in the future if Sirius was ever found innocent. The dreams were too painful and he awoke completely depressed. He would in no way go back to sleep now.

When Severus awoke that morning, an hour after dawn, his eyes landed on the box on his night table. Because this would be the first Christmas he and Harry would be spending together, he wanted to do it right. For the next two days he would have his real memories, though he had no idea what it would be like to live with them while in the presence of Harry since he had avoided it in the past. Before getting ready for the day, Severus retrieved his wand and switched out his memories. In the event Harry wanted to see the them during the next two days, he would tell the boy to wait until the day after Christmas. He did not want to go through any part of this Christmas with his altered memories. And as much as he wanted to live with his real memories for the entire week, he wanted them readily available in the event Harry wanted to see them.

A half hour later, Severus was seated at the kitchen table sipping a cup of tea and reading through the Daily Prophet. He decided to wait another ten minutes before making breakfast. While he sat there waiting, he was amazed at how much his feelings about Harry changed the minute he switched out the memories. He knew his feelings were already changing, but now it was almost like he had been Harry's father since day one. He didn't have any negative emotions or thoughts of the boy at all. That was a first. He figured that part of it was because now he was willing and wanting to be Harry's father.

Harry slowly walked into the kitchen a half hour later. He spotted Severus at the stove dividing up scrambled eggs onto two plates. "Did you need any help professor?" He didn't really want to help, but figured the job, or any job, would keep his mind off his dreams and depressing thoughts. And since he was a visitor in the man's house, he felt it necessary to ask.

"No thank you, Mr. Potter." Even though he felt differently about Harry, he still found it a bit difficult to say the boy's first name. He turned around and placed the two plates on the table. "I'm…" He stopped abruptly when he spotted Harry standing there without his glasses on, a look of shock quickly making its presence on his face before it quickly returned to its neutral expression. There was no denying it now. Harry was definitely his son. "I'm done," Severus finally finished. "Go ahead and sit down and eat." He watched Harry sit down and took his place opposite the boy. "What happened to your glasses?"

"I didn't even notice that I didn't have them on." he replied, feeling his face and not finding his glasses. He didn't recall putting them on, but figured he did so when he woke up because everything was more in focus; he was still a bit groggy when he woke up. "Everything looks a little clearer without them, actually," he finally said. He had a feeling he knew why he didn't need them, but he didn't want to think about it.

Severus didn't respond for he knew the reason and he knew that Harry did too, somewhere deep down.

"Sir," Harry began after a few seconds, "Why don't you have a house elf? And why do you do everything the Muggle way?" The thought had been running through his mind since arriving at the house yesterday.

"In the past, there was no need for me to have a house elf. I rarely visited this house, preferring to spend my time at Hogwarts." Severus took a few sips of tea. "I felt that since we would only be here for a week, there was no need for a house elf now. However, we will have one beginning the summer holiday. And things are done the Muggle way because I feel that one must not rely solely on magic for everything every second of the day."

"But I thought…" Harry began, and then quickly shut his mouth. He didn't want to finish his sentence and get in an argument with the professor first thing in the morning. "Never mind."

Severus only looked at Harry in confusion, knowing he probably didn't want to know what the boy was going to say.

In the silence that followed while they finished eating, Harry's thoughts drifted to his dreams from last night.

After a few minutes, Severus looked over and noticed that Harry wasn't really eating. He was mostly pushing the food around his plate. "Is there something wrong with the food Mr. Potter?"

The question startled Harry out of his depressing thoughts. "I…no…I'm…I'm just not hungry is all."

"You didn't eat a whole lot at lunch or dinner yesterday either." Severus began to worry. "Are you ill?"

"I'm fine." Harry took a bite of eggs to prove his point. He did not want to discuss what was really wrong.

Severus nodded then studied Harry for a few minutes. "Mr. Potter, would you be amenable to accompanying me in acquiring a Christmas tree this afternoon?"

Harry shakily put down his glass of orange juice, which didn't go unnoticed by Severus. After his dream last night, the simple question from Severus was tearing him up inside. "Erm…I'm not…I don't know." Harry knew he should be somewhat excited. He never in his life got to participate in the tradition that families all over the world did of picking out a Christmas tree. But it was something he only wanted to do with his family. With Sirius, when he was finally found innocent.

"As you well know, Mr. Potter, a tree _is_ required for Christmas." At Harry's hesitation, Severus looked to the boy in concern. If he correctly remembered all the memories he'd seen of Harry's Christmases during their Occlumency lessons, he thought Harry would have been thrilled with the idea of getting a Christmas tree. Something was obviously bothering the boy.

"I know, but…" Harry stopped and looked down to the table. "Do I have to?"

Severus would have said no that it didn't matter if he was accompanied, but this was something he really wanted. "Yes you do."

"Yes sir," Harry said dejectedly, and then left to his bedroom. He was supposed to begin working on his studies according to Severus' rules from last night.

Severus watched the boy leave then tried to continue reading the paper he placed off to the side while he was eating breakfast. However his thoughts were on Harry.

*************

An hour and a half before lunch, while taking a break from searching through the basement, Severus was in the kitchen and heard an owl tapping on the window. He opened the window and the owl flew in and landed on the kitchen table. He recognized the owl immediately and was wondering why the headmaster was contacting him. Thinking it was possibly about the wards being placed on the school, he quickly walked over to the owl to relieve its burden.

After removing the parchment and package from the owl, it quickly left through the open window. Severus closed it then returned to the table. As he grabbed the letter to open it, he realized it had Harry's name on it. He stood there for about thirty seconds debating whether or not to let Harry know about letter. He then set the letter down and walked up the stairs to the second floor hallway, stopping at the landing. "Mr. Potter, why don't you come down and take a break. There is also a package that was just delivered for you."

Severus returned to the kitchen to wait for Harry. Normally he could care less what the boy's friends sent him, but because this package came from the headmaster, and only a day after leaving the castle, he was a little curious. He poured Harry a glass of juice and set it on the table, then fixed himself with a cup of tea.

Harry wandered into the kitchen a few minutes later, surprised at being given a break and wondering who sent him a package. He sat down at the table and took a few sips of the juice that Severus put out. "Thanks for the juice sir." His eyes then he spotted the envelope and package. Like most teenagers, Harry went directly for the package and ignored the letter. He opened the package and just stared at its contents. A wand. Why did someone send him a wand? He already had one.

"What did you get?" Severus questioned from across the table. He couldn't understand why the headmaster would be sending something to Harry.

"A wand," he said, still looking at the wand. The more he looked at it, the more familiar it seemed.

"A wand?" Severus knitted his brow. That was an odd thing to be sent. "Why did the Headmaster send you a wand?"

"I don't know." Harry reached for the envelope and began reading the letter, his hands beginning to shake and his face turning pale the farther along in the letter he got.

He read through one paragraph before he dropped the letter on the table and bolted out of the kitchen and up to his bedroom. He closed the door behind him and walked over to the window. He stood there breathing erratically while looking outside, but not seeing anything.

As Harry ran out of the room Severus stood up and walked over to the wand and letter. He couldn't figure out what would make Harry react like that. He looked at the wand, and then picked up the letter.

_Dear Harry,_

_I know it's a day early, but I thought you wouldn't want to wait for this gift. Earlier this morning, the Ministry of Magic released Sirius Black's wand to me along with the news of him being found innocent in the murder of all thirteen Muggles and of leading the Dark Lord to your parents. All charges that were brought against him fifteen years ago have been dropped. I wanted to give you the wand and the news as soon as possible. What a great Christmas present, my boy._

_I know you are wondering how this has happened. Here is the reason. That day at the Ministry of Magic after all questions about Lord Voldemort's return were answered and after the Order finished the cleanup in the room with the veil, Remus Lupin found Sirius' wand at the bottom of the dais. Recognizing it as the same wand Sirius had while a student at Hogwarts, he immediately handed it over to me to present it to the Ministry's Department of Magical Law Enforcement for tests to prove of Sirius' innocence. I wanted to tell you earlier Harry, but I thought it best to wait until I was given the results._

_Come tomorrow, all of the wizarding world will know of Sirius' innocence and how he so valiantly fought for the Light until his death at the hands of the Death Eaters. _

_I'm just sorry this news took so long to come._

_Happy Christmas Harry._

_Albus Dumbledore_

Severus slammed the letter down on the kitchen table, irate. No wonder the boy ran off. "That bloody, no good, inconsiderate, insensitive old man," Severus snarled and began pacing the kitchen. "Doesn't that man have eyes? He should have clearly seen that Harry wasn't ready for this. Harry's constant mood changes should have been a definite sign that he wasn't ready. I can't wait to speak with Albus and give him a piece of my mind."

Getting his emotions under control, Severus hesitantly walked up to Harry's bedroom. He knew that's where he needed to be, though the boy would probably put up a fight. At the closed bedroom door, Severus knocked. "Mr. Potter, may I come in?" There was no answer. "Please," after a pause, "Harry?" his voice gentler than he ever used it towards Harry.

At first Harry did not want to acknowledge the man. He wanted to be left alone. But the gentleness of the voice and the use of his first name changed his mind. "Okay," he replied quietly.

Severus entered the room and stood a few feet behind Harry, watching him carefully. "I read the letter from the Headmaster, Mr. Po…Harry. Are you all right?"

Harry continued to face the window, still breathing erratically. He nodded his head yes, afraid to speak. The pain he felt from him dreams last night was nothing compared to what he felt now. This new feeling was almost unbearable. He couldn't believe how hollow and empty he was inside. It was taking all his strength and control not to break down.

Severus knew full well that Harry was not all right. The boy's body language told him all he needed to know. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly.

Harry shook his head no. "I don't feel like talking," he said shakily.

Severus remembered back to how he was when his mother died all those years ago. He acted exactly like Harry was acting right now. That everything was fine and nothing was wrong. But everything he said and did was completely opposite of what he actually felt and wanted. He wanted someone to care, someone to comfort him, someone to help him through his grief. That someone never came to him. But he could be that someone for Harry. He _would_ be that someone. He didn't know how and knew it would be completely uncomfortable for him, but he knew he had to try. Harry needed it. He decided to go with what he remembered wanting all those years ago.

Severus took a few steps closer to Harry. "I think you do."

Harry shook his head again. "Go away."

"You don't have to go through this alone."

Harry slowly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Leave me alone."

"No Harry." Severus took a few steps closer.

"Please," Harry begged.

"No. I can't do that."

Harry opened his eyes, wrapped his arms around himself and lowered his head. He wasn't sure what he felt about Severus' statement. He stood that way for about a minute, and then spoke, his attitude completely changing. "I need to do my homework, and clean my room and bathroom." Harry moved from the window intent on going over to his desk, still not looking at Severus. "Yesterday you said…"

"Hiding and running away will not make the pain disappear," Severus interrupted. He reached out and gently turned Harry around, placing both hands on the boy's shoulders, and lowering himself so he was eye level with him. "It is not the answer Harry. All the grief you're feeling will continue to consume you until it is released."

"I'm fine," Harry reiterated sharply, looking the professor in his eyes. Seeing the concern in the eyes starting back at him, he began to feel a little uncomfortable. He shrugged out of Severus' grasp and sat down on the loveseat, his back to the man. He immediately wrapped his arms around himself and lowered his head to stare at the floor.

Severus looked at Harry and sighed. The boy's posture was a complete opposite of what he said. If Harry was fine, he wouldn't be sitting there with his arms wrapped around himself like he was trying to comfort himself.

As he sat there, Harry realized his control was beginning to slip, part of it because of the professor. He felt the tears building behind his eyes. He closed his eyes tight and bit his bottom lip to try to gain control. However, a few tears slipped out and he swiped them away.

Seeing the movement, Severus walked over and sat down next to Harry on the loveseat. "Harry…"

With his eyes still shut, Harry immediate stood up, arms still around him and walked back toward the desk.

Severus stood up as well and walked in front of Harry.

Feeling the man's presence in front of him, Harry opened his eyes and looked at him.

"You can ignore me all you want, but I am not leaving Harry."

Something about those words and the look in the man's eyes broke the last of Harry's control. He quickly dropped his head as tears started falling down his face.

Seeing Harry's tears was too much for Severus. He immediately took a few steps forward and wrapped his arms around Harry. It was extremely uncomfortable and awkward for him at first, but Harry needed it. And then he realized he needed it too.

Harry dropped his hands down to his sides and stood there stiff when the professor's arms wrapped around him, completely uncomfortable with the contact. A few seconds later, he began speaking very softly. "The wand...his wand. He's really gone now. He's never coming back." The minute he said the words, his breath started hitching and he started crying. It wasn't until he had seen the wand that he believed Sirius to really be dead. He knew that he was of course, but for some reason he also kept thinking it was a joke and his godfather was just away on Order business. It wasn't until he saw the wand, the one possession the man never went anywhere without, that it fully hit him.

When Harry started to cry, Severus tightened his hold and started rubbing Harry's back, trying to comfort him. He, however, didn't say a word.

As soon as Harry felt the comforting gesture, he buried his head in Severus' chest, wrapped his arms around the man, and continued to cry. He didn't care that it was the professor's arms he was wrapped in. All he cared about was the feeling he got from being held. "It hurts too much," Harry whispered sadly into Severus' chest.

Severus rested his chin on the top of Harry's head and continued rubbing his back. "I know it hurts Harry, but the pain will go away. I promise."

He knew the pain would never go away. Nothing that hurt this bad could ever disappear. "No…it…won't," he said between his sobs and hitching breaths.

"I thought so too Harry, but it will. You have to believe me." He hugged Harry a little tighter. "One day you'll be able to think of your godfather with a smile."

"No I won't. It will never go away. It hurts too much."

The emotions Severus felt at Harry's words completely overwhelmed him and tore at his heart. He did not like seeing Harry in this much pain. Severus closed his eyes, wishing he could take it all away from him. "It will, my son. One day, it will." Too caught up with what he was feeling, Severus was totally oblivious to how he just addressed Harry.

The two stood there for another five more minutes before Harry's crying slowly died down. When there were just hitching breaths, Severus unwrapped one of his arms from around Harry and took the boy's chin in his hand. He gently lifted Harry's face up and waited for the watery green eyes to meet his own. "Do you feel better?"

"A little," he said quietly as a few more tears sought escape down his cheeks.

Severus removed his hand from Harry's chin and wiped away the falling tears with his thumb. Then he wrapped his arms back around the boy.

Harry buried his head back into Severus' chest. Even though he still felt miserable, it did feel like a weight had been lifted off of him. He then got a warm feeling when he thought about the worry and pain etched all over Severus' face and in his eyes — though the man thought he was hiding what he was feeling — and the fact that he was here, trying to make him, Harry, feel better. Someone did care about him, even it was the greasy git of the dungeons. "Thank you, sir," Harry whispered, slightly embarrassed at his emotional display.

"You're welcome." Severus placed his chin back on Harry's head and hugged him tighter. He released Harry a few seconds later.

As he reluctantly stepped back when Severus released him, Harry sniffled while running a hand under his nose.

Severus reached into his pocket, pulled out a handkerchief, and held it out in front of Harry. "Here."

"Thanks," Harry said quietly. He took the handkerchief, wiped his eyes and blew his nose.

"Why don't you go wash your face and lie down for a bit." Severus walked over to the door. "Don't worry about helping make lunch. I'll take care of it. When it's ready, I'll come get you. I know you're probably not hungry, but I'd like you to eat something."

"Okay." Harry headed to the bathroom. As he passed the professor, Severus placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Harry stopped walking and faced the professor.

"It will get better Harry."

Harry nodded and a few tears fell from his eyes. "You're the first one to say those words to me. All of it actually. Thank you." He turned around and walked towards the bathroom.

After splashing water on his face, Harry went to his bed, glad he didn't make it up when he got up this morning. Completely exhausted, he immediately wormed his way under the covers. He then curled into a ball and promptly fell asleep.

Severus found himself down in the basement right after leaving Harry's room. He still needed to find the item he was looking for earlier and he needed to get a handle on his emotions. He actually wasn't all that surprised at Harry's breakdown, he was expecting it. What he wasn't expecting was his response to it. He never thought that seeing Harry in pain would make him hurt too. And he couldn't believe Harry's statement when he left the room; that not a single person had offered any of those words of comfort and support to him before. That was utterly unbelievable.

*************

Lunch, an hour and a half later, was a quiet affair for the two. Harry hardly said a word and never looked up from his plate. Severus just watched him in concern.

When Harry went to leave the kitchen after eating his lunch, Severus spoke up. "I think we should leave in a little while to go get the Christmas tree. Being Christmas Eve, there may not be much of a selection left and I'd like to get one before they're all gone."

"Okay," Harry replied quietly.

"I'll get you when it's time."

Harry nodded and went to go back up to his room. As he was leaving, he spotted the wand and letter on the kitchen counter. He grabbed them both and went up to his room.

When Harry got up to his room, he placed the wand and letter on the far night table and lay down on the bed with his eyes closed. He wasn't sure if he was ready to read the entire letter yet or not.

Ten minutes later, deciding it would be best to get it over with, Harry was sitting on the floor with his back against the bed facing the far wall with the wand and letter at his side. He picked up the wand and just held it in his hands for a few seconds. He then gently set it down and picked up the letter.

While reading, Harry felt the tears building behinds his eyes and tried to will them away. The feeling he got while reading all of the words in the letter was worse than what he felt that morning. When he was done reading, he didn't know whether to feel angry at the headmaster or sad at what could have been. But it really didn't matter. Sirius wasn't coming back one way or the other. He picked up the wand and threw that and the letter across the room. Then, not caring, he let the tears fall for the second time that day.

A few minutes later, Severus stood outside Harry's door. "Come along, Mr. Potter. It's time to go." After receiving no response, he walked into the room. He knew Harry was in there. He wasn't in any of the other rooms in the house. But when he walked into the bedroom, he didn't see Harry anywhere. Hearing a small sniff, Severus immediately went around to the far side of the bed, making sure he didn't step on the wand and letter he saw on the floor in front of the dresser.

The sight that met his eyes upon rounding the bed almost broke his heart. Harry was sitting against the bed curled into a ball, crying. His knees were pulled up to his chest, his arms were wrapped around his legs with his forehead laying on top his knees and tears were streaming down his face. His whole body was shaking. Severus slowly sat down next to him on the floor. "Harry?"

The second Harry felt the professor sit down next to him and utter his name he did the only thing that came to his mind, the only thing he wanted at that moment. And he didn't care what the professor thought. He quickly uncurled himself and threw himself into the man's arms, wanting that warm feeling from earlier to come back; he didn't feel as empty with that warm feeling.

Severus was completely bewildered and didn't move at first. He honestly didn't expect that. But then he quickly put his arms around the shaking boy and began rubbing his back. "What's wrong?"

Harry continued to cry, but spoke between his sobs. "I hate him."

"Who?" Severus asked, knowing that Harry probably read the entire letter. It would explain why the letter and wand were on the floor like they had been thrown.

"The headmaster."

"Why do you hate the headmaster?" Severus asked the question even though he already knew the answer. He felt that having Harry talk about it would help him feel better.

Harry continued crying, his tears now seeping through Severus' shirt. "If he would have thought to do the tests on Sirius' wand all those years ago, I could have been living with my family now."

"You were living with your family."

Harry shook his head in Severus' chest. "They are _not_ my family. Family cares about you and wants you around…loves you. People that hate you, want you invisible, and wish you died with your parents are not family." Harry's crying became harder and he burrowed his head farther into Severus' chest, not even realizing all he had just said.

Severus didn't know what to say to what Harry admitted. He knew the boy didn't know what he was saying. Instead of saying anything, he tightened his hold on Harry and began rocking the boy in his arms.

"If Sirius was found innocent all those years ago, I would have been living with him and maybe he'd still be alive. Maybe I would know what it's like to have a family. But I'm not living with him and I won't. Ever. I'm all alone again and now I'll never know what it's like to have a family."

Severus closed his eyes and took a few breaths. He had no idea this was how Harry felt. He doubted anyone else knew either. "Harry," he began slowly. "You are not alone. You have a lot people who care about you."

"It's not the same. They care about me only when something bad happens or if they have time to think about caring." Harry's mind immediately turned to Remus at that statement. "A family cares all the time, through good and bad. A family is there when you need them, not when it's convenient for them."

Severus thought about that for a few seconds. Based on the actions of all the people in the boy's life, no wonder he thought the way he did. "Harry, you do have a family. You have someone who will care about you unconditionally."

Harry shook his head no. He knew Severus was talking about himself, that Severus was his father. But as much as he wanted a father, he would not accept that. If he accepted it and it ended up as a joke, like he thought it was, he didn't want to end up hurt.

Severus decided to drop the subject. He knew Harry hadn't admitted that he was his father yet, and he wouldn't push it. He would let Harry work through it on his own. Right now he just needed to help Harry feel better about Sirius, as much as he hated the man.

"Harry, there would have been no guarantee that fifteen years ago you would have been able to live with Black. After your…parents…were killed," Severus had a hard time with the word parents now that he knew he was Harry's father, "the Order went looking for Black's wand to perform the test, but couldn't find it. And when he was taken to Azkaban, it wasn't found anywhere on him."

"But he could have told them where his wand was. He could have been free." Harry's crying intensified and he gripped the back of Severus' cloak. "I wouldn't have had to go through all I did at the hands of the Dursleys. I could have been living with Sirius."

Severus removed his arms from around Harry and held the boy's tear-stained face in his hands, making Harry look at him. "Harry, as much as you want to, you can't dwell on the 'what could have beens.' By doing so, you'll miss what's right in front of you."

Harry looked at Severus for a few seconds thinking about what he just said. Those words were reminiscent of the ones the headmaster had said to him back in his first year when he found the Mirror of Erised. He then put his head back down against Severus' chest.

Severus wrapped one arm around back around Harry, and put one hand on the back of the Harry's head and continued rocking while Harry cried.

Fifteen minutes later Harry was still on the floor in Severus' arms with his own arms still wrapped around Severus like the man was his lifeline. He had stopped crying and had fallen asleep about five minutes earlier. Severus would have loved to spend hours in that position, but being on the floor for that long of a time was starting to get to him. He really needed to stand up and stretch out his legs. He then started rubbing Harry's back to get him to wake up. "Harry, wake up. Why don't you lie on the bed?"

Harry slowly woke up and looked up at the professor through bleary eyes.

"Why don't you go lie down on your bed," Severus repeated. He then removed his arms from around Harry.

Harry kept his arms around Severus.

"You can stay here while I go get the Christmas tree. I shouldn't be gone long." After what Harry had just been through, there was no way he would make the boy go with him for the tree now.

"No!" Harry stated immediately, tightening his hold on the professor. He knew he was being childish, but for some reason, he really didn't want to be left alone; even it would only be for about an hour or so.

Severus looked down at Harry in confusion. He put an arm back around Harry and Harry immediately put his head back on his chest. "Okay, you can join me if you still want to."

Harry nodded then removed his arms from around Severus, returning to the position he was in when the potions master first came in the room.

Severus slowly stood up, joints cracking from being in one position so long, and looked down to Harry. The boy had yet to move. He raised an eyebrow then headed to the bathroom. He came back out a minute later with a wet washcloth and handed it to Harry. "Wipe your face, you'll feel better."

Without a word, Harry took the washcloth and wiped his face. He then stood up, placed the wet cloth on the bed and looked up to the professor, completely mortified about his behavior now and earlier. "I'm sorry," he said very quietly, his face turning red, "for being such a baby now and earlier today."

"There is nothing to be sorry for. It's okay to feel upset. Anyone would if they were in your situation." Severus took the washcloth from the bed and put it in the bathroom. When he reentered the bedroom, he went directly to Harry, put a hand on the boy's shoulder and led him out of the house to get the Christmas tree.

*************

Hours later Harry was sitting on the floor getting ready to put an ornament on the bottom of the tree when he looked over towards Severus. The man was sitting on the sofa trying to untangle a strand of garland, his brows furrowed. Harry sat there for a few minutes looking at the professor while playing with the ornament in his hand, a small smile forming on his face. Everything the man did today was totally out of character.

Getting the Christmas tree with potions master wasn't what he was expecting either. He was expecting to get to the lot, have the professor tell the attendant what size tree he wanted, pay for the tree while the attendant brought it up, and then head back to the house. He didn't expect that the minute they entered the lot Severus would lead him over to a stand selling hot chocolate and hot spiced apple cider, buy a drink for both of them, and wander the lot looking for the perfect tree while sipping their warm drink. He was actually surprised when the only tree Severus would get was the one that he, Harry, wanted, even though it took half an hour to find it. All of it was completely unexpected and surprisingly he really enjoyed it, even it he was in the company of the professor.

Harry was still staring at Severus when the man lifted his eyes and looked over to him. Harry quickly turned his attention to the ornament and hung it on the tree.

When Severus felt eyes on him, he looked up and before Harry turned away, he saw the small smile on the boy's face. After everything Harry had gone through that day, he was happy to see the smile. Glad he could make the boy a little happy, Severus stood up with the untangled garland and walked over to the tree. "Would you mind helping me string this on the tree, Mr. Potter?"

"Sure." Harry got up from the floor and helped string the garland on the tree.

"There's only one thing left," Severus stated while walking backwards from the tree. "Would you like a star on top or an angel? We have both." He bent over the last of the boxes he brought down from the attic earlier and pulled both out and set them on the table.

Harry walked over and took a look at both. The star was a glittery gold and was really pretty. But the second his eyes landed on the angel, he knew it's what he wanted. The angel was dressed in white, its wings were made of white netting with silver stitching at the ends, it had green eyes and red curly hair, and held a gold candle in its hands. "I'd like the angel professor," Harry said while picking it up and handing it to Severus.

Severus wouldn't take it. Instead he turned around, grabbed a step stool from the entry closet, and brought it over to the tree. "Go ahead and put it up."

Harry looked from Severus to the angel to the tree, then back to Severus. He couldn't be serious. Why would the professor want him to put up the topper? Wasn't it the most important part of decorating the tree? "Are you sure?" he asked him. At Severus' nod, Harry walked up the step stool and carefully placed the angel on the top. "Thank you for letting me come with you to get the tree and for letting me help you decorate it, sir," he said a little sadly as he got off the stool and put it away. He finally got to pick out and decorate a Christmas tree, but it reminded him too much of his dream from that morning, his dream of doing the same exact thing for the first time ever…with Sirius.

"You're welcome." Severus watched Harry sit down on the sofa and stare at the tree looking miserable. Knowing what Harry was feeling, he walked over and sat down on the table in front of him and waited for Harry to look at him. "I know you feel sad, Harry. I know you wanted to do this with your godfather instead of me. It's okay."

Harry looked from the tree to the potions master, feeling a little uncomfortable with having these types of conversations with the professor. This was the third one today. It wasn't normal. But after a few seconds, he finally responded to Severus' statement. "No, it's not okay." Harry wasn't sure why, but he wanted to give the professor an explanation. "I know you're mad at me. I'm being disrespectful to you."

"You are not being disrespectful and you are not hurting my feelings by being sad. I don't like seeing you like this, but I am not mad at you. I understand what you're going through."

Harry shook his head and looked back at the tree. This was the second time the professor said those words to him since that morning. "No you don't."

"I do." Severus was an extremely private man and didn't plan on divulging anything of his past to the boy yet, but at this juncture, he felt it was absolutely necessary as awkward as it would be. He moved from the table and sat down next to Harry on the sofa. "When I was a year younger than you, I lost my mother a few months before Christmas."

Harry quickly looked over to the professor. He couldn't believe the man was telling him something about his past. It was completely unheard of. "I'm sorry. I, I didn't know."

"Of course you wouldn't know," Severus stated in a slightly condescending tone. He paused before speaking again. "That first Christmas without my mother was one of the worst holidays I ever had. What I'm trying to say is I know exactly what you are feeling and what you're going through. I don't want you to feel that you're being disrespectful, but I also don't want you to feel guilty."

"Guilty?" Harry wasn't sure what he meant by that.

Severus nodded. "Did you have a good time picking out the tree this afternoon?"

"I don't think I…erm…I guess I…" Harry started. Then he finally admitted the truth. "Yes. I did have a good time."

"Now, do you feel bad because you had a good time?"

Harry nodded yes and looked down to his lap.

"That's guilt. You think you shouldn't feel happy in a situation that you wanted to experience with your godfather. Harry will you please look at me?" Severus waited until Harry raised his head and met his eyes. "You have no reason to feel guilty. Do you honestly think that Sirius would want you to miss out on this and many other things just because he's not around?"

"No, but…"

"No. He wouldn't. You have every right to feel sad, mad or anything else. But just don't feel guilty when you're enjoying yourself. You deserve to feel happy."

He guessed that what the professor was saying was true. It did make sense. He just knew it would be hard to remember. "Okay."

Severus gave Harry a small smile, though luckily the boy was looking the other direction. "Good." He then stood up. "Now, how about some dinner?"

*************

Late that night after dinner and after Harry went up to bed, luckily with no more tears, Severus returned to the basement. After searching for another half hour, he finally found the item he had been looking for. The perfect Christmas present for Harry.

*************

When Harry walked in to the living room after breakfast Christmas morning, he spotted about a dozen or so presents under the Christmas tree. He figured that the professor intercepted Hedwig with his usual three or four gifts from the Weasleys and Hermione and placed them under the tree. The rest, he presumed, were for Severus. He sat down on the sofa and took a few sips of his hot chocolate before placing the mug on the coffee table in front of him.

Severus followed Harry in with a cup of coffee in his hands. "You don't want to open your presents?" he asked as he sat down next to Harry on the sofa. "I thought kids all over the world jumped at the chance to open presents."

Harry just shrugged. Christmas was really no big deal to him. It mostly just made him realize what was missing in his life by not having parents.

Seeing Harry still sitting on the sofa, Severus figured he'd have to take the lead. He got up from the sofa and knelt down on the floor in front of the tree and grabbed a few presents for Harry. With presents in hand, he walked back to the coffee table and set them down. He made the trip until almost all the presents were out from under the tree and deposited on the coffee table in two piles. One, in front of Harry, had nine presents and the other, in front of Severus' coffee mug, had two.

"Go ahead and open them," Severus stated as he sat down next to Harry.

A half hour later, Harry had opened presents from Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Mrs. and Mr. Weasley, Fred and George, Remus, Luna, and Neville. Severus had opened presents from the Headmaster and Professor Trelawney, a present he would throw away later that night. It seemed every year she gave all the professors on staff a gift. The same gift every year.

Seeing Harry was done with his presents, Severus got up and went back to the tree. He knelt in front of it and pulled one last gift from the back, placed there when he thought Harry would be digging under the tree for presents. He walked with it and sat down next to Harry on the sofa. "I wanted you to open this last. It is my Christmas gift to you," he stated as he handed the wrapped gift to Harry. "It meant a lot to me when I received it, but I know it will mean more to you."

"Thanks." Harry said warily as he took the present, not sure why the professor would be giving him a gift. He slowly unwrapped it, opened the box and pulled out what looked like a large journal. He opened the cover and read the inscription written on the first page.

_Happy Birthday Sev,_

_I know it's getting harder for us to see each other on summer breaks and at school and I know how hard it has been on you. I thought this gift would help. Included in this album are photos my parents, friends, and even I took of the two of us since the year we met. I know I'm alone in quite a few of them, but I thought you'd like them all. I made one for myself as well._

_With All My Love,_

_Lily_

Harry flipped through a few of the pages. Some pictures, he noticed were taken with a Muggle camera, while others were obviously taken with a magical camera. The one he was currently looking at had a very young Lily swinging on a swing laughing, her red hair blowing in the breeze. A young black-haired boy, probably Severus Harry noted, was standing behind Lily pushing her on the swing. Harry stared at his mother in the photo for a few seconds before he closed the book and looked up to the professor with eyes filled with unshed tears. "Thank you," he said quietly. He never expected to ever get a gift like this. It meant so much to him that he knew he couldn't even begin to express to the professor just how much it meant. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." A small smile formed on Severus' face. "Merry Christmas, Harry."

Surprised at the smile on the professor's face, a sight he couldn't ever remember seeing, Harry just stared for a few seconds before finding his voice. "Mer…merry Christmas, professor."

*************

After dinner that night, Harry brought all his gifts up to his room and placed them on the love seat. He brought the photo album over to the bed with him. He spent the next hour and a half sitting against the headboard slowly looking at all the photos of his mother growing up, trying to memorize every look she gave the camera. He tried to ignore the photos of Severus, but had a hard time with it.

Deciding it was time to get ready for bed a while later, Harry went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. After he put toothpaste on his toothbrush, he looked into the mirror. The minute he saw his reflection in the mirror, his eyes went wide and the toothbrush clattered in the sink below. He knew that his face was changing, his whole body actually, but he didn't realize what his face was changing in to. He had avoided looking at himself in the mirror as much as he could. In fact, he hadn't looked in a mirror for the past four days.

Now, as he stared at his face, he saw what he had been trying to deny for days. He was Severus' son. There was no denying what he saw in the mirror. He looked like the boy he was seeing in the photo album. But he wasn't so sure he wanted to accept it. Besides there was still a chance that it was a joke being played by the potions master and this change was due to some type of charm or potion that was placed on him by the man.

Harry quickly brushed his teeth and went to bed thinking all that over.

Way past midnight, Severus decided to check on Harry on his way to bed. The boy had been unusually quiet all day and this would be the last night he'd be living with his real memories for a while. He quietly opened Harry's door, not wanting to wake him up, but the door creaked on its hinges when it was opened.

At the sound of the door opening, Harry woke up. He had just gotten to sleep about fifteen minutes earlier, after tossing and turning for hours, so he wasn't sound asleep.

Severus stepped into the room. Harry was curled up on his side facing the door, his hands under his cheeks. Seeing the blankets tangled around his ankles, Severus walked up to Harry's bed.

Harry's body stiffened slightly at the sound of the professor walking towards him. He tried to relax and quickly closed his eyes and feigned sleep.

Severus untangled the blankets and gently recovered Harry, almost to the point of tucking him in. Then, with a shaky hand, he brushed Harry's fringe away from his forehead. Harry, surprisingly, didn't flinch at the touch. Severus stood there staring at the scar for a few seconds; the first time he really ever got a look at it. Then he started running his hand through Harry's messy hair. "I wish you believed the letter…and me, and wanted to see my memories. I know you're not ready to believe it, and as much as I want this relationship, I'll wait no matter how long it takes." He ran his hand through Harry's hair a few more times. "Good night Harry." He then left for his own bedroom to change out his memories and to go to sleep. He just hoped that everything that happened these past two days would have a positive effect on what would happen in the future with his altered memories.

After Harry heard the door close, he opened his eyes and rolled over on to his back and stared at the ceiling. That was the first time that he could remember anyone doing what Severus just did…tucking him in, or at least adjusting the blankets over him, and running a hand through his hair. It was something he witnessed Ron's parents doing to Ron on the few occasions he stayed at the Weasley's house. And then what the professor said?

That act and acknowledgment, plus when the man comforted him both times he ended up crying, the whole Christmas tree thing, and giving him the photo album, which he, Severus, had received as a gift were signs that the man was not playing a joke on him. But that meant…that meant "Severus Snape is really my father," he admitted quietly to his empty room. Tthough he wasn't sure if he wanted to believe it or not. If he did believe it and began to feel everything associated with it, he knew he would be devastated if it all turned out to be the joke he thought it was. However, the memory of the feeling he got when the professor was trying to comfort him made a lot of his doubt leave. In the end, he decided, time would tell.

* * *

Thank you all for your kind reviews to my last chapter. I'm glad you are all enjoying the story and are sticking around to see where it goes. I'm hoping that this chapter wasn't too bad. Some parts were a bit hard to write. I'm not sure how well I captured Harry in this. I just hope it wasn't that out of character. But I think I got Severus down pretty good. His feelings toward Harry are a lot different now that he's accepting the truth.

Happy Memorial Day to all my US readers!


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Harry and Severus spent quite a bit of time together Tuesday and Wednesday. During breakfast on Tuesday, Severus offered Harry the small desk in the library to work on his homework if he wanted a change of scenery. Severus also offered his help if Harry needed it for any of his homework, not just potions, and Harry took up both offers more often than he imagined, wanting some company even if he was just doing homework.

When Harry wasn't busy working on his holiday homework he was sometimes outside exploring the grounds or helping Severus clean out one of the unused bedrooms. Severus spent a lot of the time in the library and living room reading a novel, something he rarely had time to engage in.

Wednesday night after dinner, Harry grabbed the photo album from his bedroom and went to the living room. He was tired of being in his room alone and wanted to stay in a different environment for a few hours before bed. Plus, he also wanted to partake in the tea and biscuits Severus had every night. He hadn't done so since arriving Saturday.

When Harry entered the living room that night, Severus was slightly surprised. He had yet to see the boy after dinner since they arrived at the house. While sitting at the small table, he watched as Harry walked over to the sofa, curled up against the arm closest to the fireplace, and opened the photo album, resting it on the arm of the sofa. Severus then turned his attention back to the research paper he was writing for one of Britain's highly acclaimed potions journals.

Harry had spent a few minutes looking through the photo album. However, he now really wanted to know more about when and where the photos were taken and what was happening in them. Unfortunately, he knew the only person with that information was the professor. He reluctantly set the album on his lap and looked over towards Severus. "Sir?" When the man didn't acknowledge him, he tried again, a little louder. "Professor Snape?"

Severus, startled out of his research and writing, looked towards Harry, anger and annoyance clearly showing on his face. "What?" he snapped. He was so caught up in what he was doing he thought the interruption would hinder his thoughts.

Taking one look at the professor's face, Harry swallowed thickly. He quickly looked down to the photo album, closed the cover and quietly mumbled an apology. "I…I'm sorry sir." He raised his eyes to look at Severus then looked back to the album with a hint on disappointment on his face. "Never mind." He really had hoped to hear about the photos and to learn about his mother. But with the professor's look and tone of voice, he knew the man was definitely not in the mood to discuss anything. He would not risk asking.

Seeing the look on Harry's face, Severus set his quill down and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What did you want Mr. Potter?" he asked, his voice not showing any of the anger and irritation he felt only moments before.

"N…nothing. I'm sorry to have bothered you." Harry stood up with the intent on heading back to his bedroom, tea and biscuits long forgotten.

Severus sighed quietly. "My concentration was on my research, however you _were_ not and _are_ not bothering me, as much as I wish it were otherwise," the last stated with a hint of amusement.

Harry stopped his trek to his bedroom and just stared at the professor. Did the man almost laugh with his last statement? And was that a sort of apology? Both were something he never thought the man would direct towards him, and that shocked him.

"What did you want?" Severus repeated.

"I," Harry looked down to the photo album in his hand. "I just wanted to know more about the photos. That's all right though. No big deal. Goodnight sir." Harry turned and headed out of the living room.

"Come along Harry," Severus stated before the boy left the room. He stood up, walked over to the sofa and sat down.

Still not used to hearing the professor calling him by his first name, Harry turned around and saw him seated on the sofa. The man had his usual one eyebrow raised. Harry tentatively walked to the sofa and uncomfortably sat down next to the professor, keeping a few feet between them.

"Did you have any pictures in particular you wanted to know about?"

"All of them, actually," Harry looked up at the professor.

"Very well, then." He shifted closer to Harry as the boy opened the album. He pulled the album from Harry and placed it so it was on both their laps.

They sat that way slowly going through the photo album. At times, Severus couldn't believe how hard it was to discuss some of the photos. He just hoped it wasn't all that obvious to Harry.

An hour after they started going through the album, Severus left to the kitchen for the tea and biscuits. A few minutes later, he brought a tray out and sat it down on the table in front of the sofa. "Have some tea and biscuits." He pulled the album from Harry's lap and set it on the table next to the tray. "I think this is a good place to stop for now. We can go through more of the album tomorrow night if you'd like." In reality, Severus was having difficulty going through the album. At times it was extremely painful having to see the pictures of Lily and him together. He also realized as he came to some of the photos, he had conflicting memories of them or couldn't remember them at all. Though it was a bit depressing, he wouldn't deny the boy what he was longing; to know about his parents past.

Harry nibbled on a biscuit then addressed Severus. "Professor Snape, I just wanted to thank you for going through the album with me." Not getting any reaction out the professor, he called the man's name again. "Professor Snape? Professor?" When Harry looked at Severus, he saw that he was staring at the photo album and seemed to be lost in thought. Not knowing why he did it, Harry gently put his hand on Severus' arm and shook it lightly. "Sir?"

Severus looked down to the hand on his arm and then up to Harry, his face completely void of emotion.

Harry quickly withdrew his hand but continued to look in the man's eyes. "Are you all right sir?"

Severus did not respond.

Harry looked toward the album again with a slight understanding. "Well, I just wanted to thank you for telling me about the photos in the album sir." After Severus nodded his head, Harry turned his attention back to his tea and biscuits, wanting to leave the man alone with his thoughts.

A while later, after the tray was returned to the kitchen and Severus sat back down at the desk, Harry decided to ask the professor about the room he ventured in to by mistake on Saturday. There had to be a reason why the potions master didn't want him in there and he wanted to find out why. "Professor, I know you said this was where you lived when you were younger. Whose bedroom was I in when we first got here? And why am I not allowed in there?"

Severus looked over to Harry on the sofa. "You are not to concern yourself with that room," he responded sternly. "And I'd like you to stay out of there. I trust you can do as you are told?"

"Yes, but I just want to know…"

"Mr. Potter, quit while you are ahead. Forget about that room. It is none of your concern." He knew that Harry really was entitled to know about the room, especially since it was now his house as well, but he wasn't ready to discuss any of that yet. Maybe one day soon.

"Yes sir," Harry replied quietly.

"I think it is time for you to go on up to bed."

Harry stood up, grabbed the album and headed up to bed. He paused at the entry way to the living room and turned around. "Good night sir."

"Good night Harry," Severus replied, quickly looking up at the boy.

*************

Harry was finishing putting their breakfast dishes away when Severus broke the silence Thursday morning. "I will be spending the majority of today in the basement working on the few potions that are needed for the hospital wing for the beginning of the term. I do not want to be disturbed unless absolutely necessary. I shall be done in time to help make dinner."

"Yes sir," Harry responded as he put the last glass away.

Severus would have rather spent the day like he did the past two days; reading, helping Harry with his school work, and cleaning out one of the bedrooms, but the potions did need to be brewed. And when he planned it last week, he felt it was better to get all the potions brewed in one day instead of spreading them out the entire week. Now he regretted that decision. Even without his memories, he realized he was beginning to enjoy spending time with Harry.

After Severus swept out of the kitchen and down to the basement, Harry headed to his room to work on his homework. As he passed the off limits bedroom, he knew this would be the perfect time to check it out. With the professor shut up in the basement for hours, he figured he would be safe in his exploring. He continued the trek to his room and set to doing his homework.

An hour later, Harry decided it was time. Wanting to be sure the professor wouldn't know what he was up to he quietly walked down the stairs and to the basement. Seeing the door closed, he pressed an ear against the wood to listen inside. Hearing the man muttering under his breath, Harry let out a breath and walked back to the off limits bedroom. He quickly let himself in and closed the door behind him, feeling slightly guilty. He knew what he was doing was wrong and he didn't want to know what would happen if the professor found him in the room.

As he looked around the room, he forgot how small it was. He couldn't believe it was actually someone's bedroom. Harry first decided to check out the desk. The top only held a lamp so he opened the long drawer that took up almost all the length of the desk. Inside he found broken bits of crayons, pencils, pens, a few paper clips, a bent quill, an empty ink pot, and a stack of blank Muggle lined paper. There was nothing in that drawer that explained anything.

Closing that drawer, he next opened the top drawer of the three drawers on the side of the desk. This drawer held Muggle children's books and coloring books. He pulled them out and sat on the bed looking through them all. Inside one of the coloring books at the bottom of the stack, he saw a name written in a child's handwriting. The writing being messy, Harry had to squint to make out the letters – Severus. The "e's" in the name were written backwards. Harry's hand shook a little as he closed the book and returned the stack to the drawer. Was it possible this sad excuse for a bedroom belonged to the professor? He knew he should leave the room, but he was compelled to see more.

He opened the next drawer and found more books and papers. All of it Muggle. He couldn't understand why everything was Muggle and looked to belong to a child under the age of ten. The professor was a wizard and he supposedly lived here until he graduated Hogwarts. He thought there should have been other items besides the one quill and ink pot that signified a wizard lived in the room and a teen-aged wizard at that. Still confused, Harry opened the last of the drawers. It was empty. Giving a huff, Harry sat down on the bed gruffly, a cloud of dust enveloping him. His exploring was turning out to be a waste. As he waved the dust away from his face while coughing, his eyes landed on the closet. He figured he'd try that next.

The closet was mostly empty except for some ragged looking clothes hanging from the closet rod and a few boxes on the floor pushed towards the back. Harry pulled out one of the boxes and opened it. Inside he found a stack of letters, quite a few battered books, and a few small toys. He dragged the box over towards the bed and sat down to go through all of it.

He pulled the toys, letters and books out of the box and set them down next to him on the bed. He started with the books knowing he would be faster going through those first. The books this time were not children's books, more like young adult, but again were Muggle. After Harry finished skimming through the last book, he placed it back in the box on top of the others and picked up the first letter on top of the stack.

As he started reading the letters, he realized they were correspondence between the professor and his mother, Lily, starting from when they had first met and more than likely continued all throughout their time together at Hogwarts. Part of him so much wanted to take one…to have something his mother wrote, but he knew that wouldn't be right. The letters did not belong to him.

Harry got through over half of the current letter he was reading, about the twelfth in the stack, when he dropped it suddenly. He quickly stood up, grabbed all the letters and toys, and put them back in the box. He then sat back down on the bed heavily, the dust again forming a cloud around him. His eyes were immediately drawn to the gouges in the desk and the burn marks and holes on the blanket he was sitting on, now knowing what they were all from. He began to feel sick. He made a huge mistake of coming into this room. He only hoped that the professor would never know that he had been in here and that he went through all the things in the room.

He couldn't believe what he had just read in that last letter. He couldn't understand half of the conversations between his mom and Professor Snape when he first began reading the letters, but after that last letter it all made sense. And he didn't like what he found out one bit. The professor had been abused while he was growing up. Severely abused. It made what was done to him look like he was pampered compared to what the professor's father did to the professor.

Now Harry felt extremely guilty about snooping through the room. He never should have come in here. What he found out was something extremely private. He knew that he would never want anyone to find out about his abuse the way he just found out about Severus'.

He then decided to go back to his room and cease his exploring. As he stood up from the bed, he heard something fall to the floor and roll under the bed. Wanting to make sure everything was put back exactly as he had found it, Harry got on his knees and looked under the bed for the object. It was a small ball, one of the toys that were in the box. Unfortunately, when he made a grab for it, his fingers grazed it and pushed it further under the bed. Getting on his stomach, he began to crawl under the bed to retrieve the object, but sneezed twice before his hands even get under the bed.

*************

Severus had just finished the last stirring of the headache potion he was brewing and while waiting for it to cool before bottling it, he decided to head up to his bedroom to retrieve the notes for a potion he was experimenting on that he left up there in the morning. He closed the basement door behind him and walked up the stairs to his bedroom. As he passed by the bedroom Harry was asking about last night, he heard a noise coming from inside. He stopped walking and stood as still as possible, listening for any possible sound. He heard the noise again a few seconds later…a sneeze. Becoming immediately irate, Severus stormed into the room, all his feelings about the boy from the morning gone.

At the sound of the door knob turning, Harry became terrified. He thought he was safe knowing the potions master would be down in the basement. Already on the floor, he quickly scooted under the bed, to try and hide from the man. Maybe the professor wouldn't even know he was there; thoughts of the open box beside the bed gone from his mind.

As Severus entered the room, his eyes immediately fell to the open box on the floor by the bed. Knowing what was kept inside and the possibility that Harry knew about his past, Severus began to pale and was becoming extremely furious.

Trying to not make any noise, but having the large amount of dust under the bed begin to bother him, Harry tried his best to squelch the sneeze he felt building. Unfortunately he wasn't successful. As he opened his eyes after sneezing, the mattress above him was thrown toward the other end of the room by Severus.

"What are you doing in here?" Severus growled, as he took a few more steps closer to Harry and reached out to yank the boy up to his feet. The second Harry saw the hand come towards him, he quickly scrambled back as far as the bed frame would allow and raised his arms protectively in front of him, his face becoming pale and his whole body beginning to shake. "I'm sorry, sir," Harry said shakily. "Please don't…I'm sorry." The man was infuriated and with the look in his eyes, Harry was afraid the man would physically take his anger out on him.

Severus froze and quickly dropped his arms down to his sides, the scene in front of him too familiar. He immediately saw himself in that same position in this very room, but he knew he wasn't like his father. He would never hurt the boy the way his father hurt him, But he couldn't help the anger he was feeling. He began speaking in a quiet dangerous voice, his patience slowly slipping. "I thought I told you not to go in this room, Mr. Potter."

Not receiving the blows he thought he would get, Harry slowly lowered his arms and replied, not looking at the man. "I'm sorry sir," he repeated again around a few more sneezes; the dust was driving him crazy.

"It seems I was mistaken in my trust of you. I should have known better."

"But you wouldn't tell me anything," Harry began defensively, not really thinking about what he was saying. "I just wanted to know more about…"

"GET. OUT. NOW!" Severus bellowed, his patience with Harry completely gone at the boy's last statement.

Seeing how livid the professor was, Harry quickly rushed out of the room terrified and ran to his own room. Because of his life with the Dursleys, after closing himself in his room, he immediately went to the far side of the bed and sat on the floor between the bed and night table. Trying to control his shaking and breathing, he wrapped his arms around his knees, wondering how soon the man would be coming in after him to thrash him. With the pensive incident last year, the professor had only thrown a jar at him. But with the rage radiating off the man this time, who knows what the professor would do when he entered his bedroom.

God how he wished he didn't have allergies to dust. Then none of this would have happened. He could have been and gone and Severus would have never known. Or, a small voice inside his head said, he should have done what the professor had asked and forgotten about the room.

Fifteen minutes later with no sign of Severus, Harry slowly uncurled himself from the floor and lay down on the bed staring at the ceiling. He began to replay the scene when the professor walked into that bedroom over and over and began to feel nauseous over what he had done. He knew better yet his curiosity won out again and he again was in trouble. He then felt a new emotion when he recalled Severus telling him that he was mistaken in his trust of him. It was the first time he could remember anyone saying anything like that to him and he didn't like the feeling those words gave him.

His head beginning to hurt from all his jumbled thoughts, Harry decided he'd better work on his homework. He didn't want the professor to be any angrier with him than he already was.

*************

Severus stood in the middle of the room after Harry all but ran out of the bedroom, trying to get his anger under control. Knowing that wouldn't happen anytime soon, he put the box back in the closet, replaced the mattress on the bed frame, and walked out of the room. As he closed the door behind him, he pulled out his wand and cast a locking charm on the door. No doubt the boy would try to get in there again.

Knowing what would help him calm down, Severus went to his bedroom to continue with his plans from earlier. He grabbed his notes and a few potions journals and went back down to the basement.

Upon arriving, Severus knew he wouldn't be able to concentrate on brewing the potions for the hospital wing. He needed to calm down first. Since working on an experimental potion always calmed him in the past, he pulled the notes out he retrieved and began brewing.

An hour after beginning the experimental potion, Severus was calmed down enough to begin the required potions, but he was so caught up with the potion he was working on that he continued with it instead. While he continued brewing, he completely lost track of time.

When his stomach growled almost continuously, he put the potion he was brewing on stasis and looked at the clock on the wall. It was well after midnight. He must have worked on his experimental potion for about six hours before he began working on the required potions. He headed up to the kitchen to get himself something to eat, feeling guilty that he left Harry to fend for himself for dinner. Once done, he went back to the basement to finish the few remaining potions. He wanted to get them done before he went to bed so he could spend the rest of Friday with Harry. While he was brewing earlier, he decided that he would talk to the boy about the bedroom. Harry needed to know.

After three in the morning, Severus wearily made his way up to his bedroom. He slowly changed into his night clothes and slid into bed. He fell asleep almost the second his head hit the pillow. Unfortunately he wasn't having a peaceful sleep. The day's events came rushing to the front of his mind and he awoke several times throughout the night, having relived some of his worst childhood memories in his dreams.

Around dawn Severus was craving a restful sleep. He downed a vial of sleeping draught and dreamless sleep he had in his bathroom. It was something he didn't want to do with Harry in the house, but he was desperate. He fell asleep almost instantly.

*************

Harry, after having completed his homework for the day, was sitting on his bed reading the defense book he received from Remus and Sirius last year at Christmas. His stomach began growling. He looked at the clock and was surprised to see it was almost five thirty. He had totally skipped lunch, not feeling the slightest bit hungry after the morning's events. Figuring he'd better head down to the kitchen a bit early so the professor didn't have anything else to be mad about, Harry left the book on his bed and headed to the kitchen. He sat at the table and waited for the professor to arrive.

Fifteen minutes later Harry was still sitting at the table waiting for the professor. He figured the man was probably in the middle of brewing and couldn't leave so he'd wait a few more minutes. As six o'clock came and went without a word from the potions master, Harry was surprised to feel a little disappointed. Though he really didn't want to see the man after this morning, he was still upset that the professor didn't show up. Did he anger the man that much? When his stomach started growling again, Harry decided he couldn't wait any longer for the professor. He quickly made himself a sandwich and brought that along with two apples and a large glass of milk up to his room.

The next morning, Harry got ready and headed down to the kitchen for breakfast. Again the man wasn't there. Harry quietly ate a bowl of cereal by himself and returned to his room to work on more homework. He wasn't ready to admit it yet, but he was beginning to feel a little hurt. He really wasn't sure why. He should be used to people not wanting to be around him.

When lunch turned out to be the same as breakfast, Harry couldn't take it any more. He was tired of being ignored, alone, and constantly in his room. He needed to get out. After finishing his lunch, he went up to his room to put on his trainers. As he walked out of the room, his eyes spotted the open photo album on the table in front of the fireplace. He remembered the professor telling him that his mom and he had spent a lot of time at the park they passed on the way to the house.

Instead of going out into the back yard like he had intended, Harry walked out of the house and headed up the street towards the park. Spotting a bench near the river, Harry wandered over to it and sat down. Ignoring how cold it was, he sat there watching the water rush over the rocks and all the fish swimming around without thinking about anything.

Getting tired of watching the river, Harry headed over to the swings a while later. As he sat there swinging slightly, he realized he _was_ feeling hurt over the professor ignoring him. It made him think about his thoughts at Christmas, of how the professor being nice to him and wanting to be his father was a joke and that he would end up hurt. He should have remembered all that because it was now happening. Of course he expected to be hurt months from now not days. How could he be so stupid, to think that the professor would truly want to be his father and to care about him? He wished he never fell for it. Well, it was over now.

Feeling angry with himself for feeling hurt over the professor's action and if he were honest, his own feelings earlier in the week, Harry stopped swinging and rested his head against the chain. He sat there staring at the ground trying to come up with what to do about the whole situation.

*************

Severus awoke around three in the afternoon. After dressing he searched the house for Harry. Not finding him he went up to the boy's room. Not finding him there, he went to leave the room and spotted the photo album on the table. He walked over to it and looked at the page the book was open to. It was the photo of Lily sitting on the swing with him pushing her higher. He left the bedroom and headed outside to search the grounds, hoping to find Harry out there. The boy wasn't stupid enough to go outside of the wards to the park was he? When he didn't find Harry, he figured the boy _was_ stupid enough. Would that boy ever use his brains? Anything could happen to him out there.

Extremely worried, he quickly left the house and, almost at a run, headed up to the park. He let out a sigh of relief as he spotted Harry. The boy was sitting on one of the swings, his back to him, with his head down leaning on the chain and one of his feet drawing circles in the sand. As he got closer to him, he could see that Harry was shivering. He only had on his t-shirt and jeans in the thirty degree weather. Not wanting to have to deal with a sick Harry, he took off his cloak as he approached the boy from behind. He draped the warm fabric around Harry's shoulders and came around to sit down on the swing next to him.

Harry startled at the cloak being placed on him. To his relief he noted that it was the professor, not some stranger who had come up behind him. However, he wouldn't look at the man. While he had been sitting there, he came to the conclusion that the potions master would only be that to him; his professor. He wouldn't, again, fall for anything the man said to him. He didn't want to be part of the man's joke anymore. Anger had now replaced hurt.

Severus looked at Harry a few minutes before speaking quietly, his voice hinting at his earlier worry. "Do you place such little value on your life? To not think of your own safety?"

"Why do you care?" Though he was freezing, Harry removed the cloak from around his shoulders and threw it on the ground.

"I thought that was obvious."

Harry ignored that statement. He wasn't going to fall for it. "Well, there was no point the first eleven years of my life. And I found out right before summer holiday that it doesn't really matter at all. I'll never be safe, not that it matters to anyone anyways.

"That is not true." Severus bent down, picked up the discarded cloak and placed it back around Harry. Harry went to remove the cloak again. "Leave the cloak alone. I do not want you to get sick."

"I don't care what you want," Harry bit back. He removed the cloak again.

"Well I do care." Severus put the cloak back on Harry and kept his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Why?"

"As much as you don't want to believe it, I _am_ your father. I want to see you happy and healthy and will do everything in my power to make sure that happens."

"With the way you treated me for the past five years, you actually think that I would believe that you are my father and care about me, and that I would want you as my father?" Harry asked. "You are dafter than I thought."

"Harry,"

"Don't," Harry growled, "you ever call me that again." He quickly stood up, threw the cloak on the ground and headed back to the house, leaving Severus sitting on the swing.

Severus, surprisingly hurt at Harry's comments, picked up the discarded cloak and followed Harry back to the house at a distance. Now there was something else he needed to speak to Harry about.

The minute Harry entered the house he immediately went to his room. He closed the door behind him and went to take a shower, wanting to warm up. When he was dressed again, he noticed that it was time to go down and help make dinner. He reluctantly headed to the kitchen.

*************

Cooking and eating dinner that night was a quiet affair for the two. Though Severus tried to engage Harry in conversation many times, the boy didn't speak unless he was asked a direct question and his answer was always as brief as possible. Once the dishes were washed, Severus wanted to have his conversation about the room with Harry, but the boy immediately left the kitchen when the last plate was put away. Knowing he'd have to wait until he could talk to the boy, he went to the living room to read.

After trying to concentrate on what he was reading and failing miserably, Severus decided to retire to his room early, forgoing his nightly ritual of tea and biscuits. He wasn't in the mood.

*************

Late that night, Severus was awakened by a loud piercing scream. Knowing it was Harry he rushed out of bed and ran to the boy's room with wand in hand. As he threw open the door, he spotted Harry thrashing around on his bed.

The scene was almost exactly like the night he went up to Gryffindor tower. But instead of watching helplessly, Severus could do something this time. He quickly went to the bed and sat down at Harry's side.

Harry woke up seconds later with another piercing scream. His head feeling like it was splitting in two, he pressed his hand hard over his painful scar and sat up. He had yet to see the professor.

Seeing a little blood seeping out between Harry's fingers, Severus quickly summoned a wet washcloth. "Move your hand Harry."

Harry jumped at the voice but immediately obeyed, still shaking. As much as he wanted to get away from the professor, he knew that wouldn't happen. He didn't have the strength.

Severus quickly wiped the trickling blood from Harry's face, placed the cool washcloth on the painfully red and still bleeding scar and rested his other hand on the boy's shaking shoulder.

With the blinding pain still in his head, Harry felt he was about to be sick. "Professor, I'm going to be…"

Before Harry could even finish the statement, he threw up in the bucket Severus had summoned, along with another wet washcloth, just seconds before, knowing that they would probably be needed if history was to repeat itself.

Severus removed the cloth from Harry's head while rubbing the boy's back as he threw up once again. When he was certain Harry wouldn't be sick again, he vanished the contents of the bucket and handed the clean washcloth to the boy. He kept his other hand on the boy's back. "Are you okay?"

Harry pressed his hand against his scar again. The pain, though not as blinding as it was moments before, was still bad. "I, I don't know," he whispered.

Removing his wand once more, Severus summoned a glass of water from the kitchen and a vial and jar from his bedroom. He handed the cold glass of water to Harry. "Here, drink."

Accepting the glass without question, Harry greedily drank the contents. He then was handed the vial.

"It's a stomach soother," Severus stated at Harry's questioning look. After Harry downed the potion, Severus opened the jar and began gently applying a cool paste to the boy's scar. "This will help numb the pain."

"Thank you," Harry said quietly as the paste began to lessen the pain. Harry brought his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. The vision was almost like the last one he had over a week ago. He realized he wasn't as frightened as he was then, though he was still frightened. And if he were to admit it, the professor's presence when he woke up really had a positive effect. He always hated waking up from the visions alone and having no one there to help or reassure him.

Severus continued rubbing Harry's back, as the boy was still shaking. "Do you feel a little better now?" He watched as Harry nodded. "Good." He removed all the items he had summoned earlier. "Would you like to talk about it? Am I correct in assuming it was a vision?"

Harry nodded again and Severus waited for the boy to begin when he was ready, his hand still on Harry's back.

Harry stared at his knees when he began to speak. "It was like the vision I had the beginning of last week. I…I was Voldemort in it. I…he was walking down a deserted street with four of his Death Eaters behind him. They went into a house of one of his other Death Eaters who he thought to be a spy. He let the others torture him for a while before he killed him with the avada ke…" he stopped, unable to say the rest of the curse.

Severus stopped rubbing Harry's back and moved his hand to the boy's shaking shoulder, giving it a squeeze. He kept it there when Harry was able to continue talking. He never knew the types of things Harry saw in his visions. But after hearing what happened in this one and the fact it was almost like the vision the boy had last week, he was shocked. No one should have to see that. And no one should have to see all that and wake up alone.

"When he was done with him," Harry continued, "he went through the house killing the other occupants. He even killed their baby who couldn't have been more than a year old." Harry paused when he felt stinging behind his eyes. "He was laughing. He just stood there laughing after he killed them all." After he stopped speaking, he realized innocent people would continue to be killed until he could kill that monster. It would be his fault when more innocent people were tortured and killed.

As soon as Severus saw the first tear fall, he repositioned himself on the bed and pulled Harry towards him, putting an arm around the boy and rubbing his arm comfortingly. "It's all right Harry. We're working very hard at Occlumency and soon you won't have these visions any more. I promise." Harry didn't acknowledge the man, the professor didn't understand. He just continued to sit there with the man's arm around him, tremors wracking his body every now and then. Only a few more tears fell.

A while later, Severus realized Harry had fallen asleep in his arm. He gently laid the boy down, stood up and covered Harry with the comforter. He then ran his hand through Harry's hair a few times. Satisfied he'd done all he could, he retired to bed.

*************

After breakfast Saturday morning, Harry went to his room, grabbed some of his homework and went down to the living room. He really didn't want to be alone. As he walked in, he spotted Severus at the small table so he headed to the sofa, sat down and began some of his reading.

When Severus realized Harry would be in the room for a while, he decided now would be a good time to talk to the boy. He quietly got up, made some tea and brought two cups back to the living room. He sat down next to Harry on the sofa and placed the boy's tea in front of him on the table. "Mr. Potter, Harry. There is something I need to discuss with you. If I would have done so earlier, things wouldn't have gotten to be where they are now."

"Okay." Harry put his homework down and turned his attention to the professor.

"As you well know, and the fact I told you before, I am a very private man. As such, it's difficult to talk about myself. That is what stopped me from answering your questions about the bedroom."

Harry couldn't believe it. The man was going to tell him about the room, even though he already found out on his own. He tried to hide his shock.

"As I assume you've guessed, that bedroom did belong to me. I was given the room after my first case of accidental magic. My father said people like me didn't deserve a nice bedroom. To put it nicely, he wasn't fond of magic." Severus took a sip of tea before continuing. "Seeing that you had the box out and open yesterday, is it correct to say that you read all the letters?"

"Yes sir. Though I didn't read all of them." He looked down to his lap. "I couldn't." He felt nauseous at the thought of what was in the last letter he read. He took a sip of the tea hoping it would calm his stomach. Harry looked back up at Severus. "I'm sorry I read the letters, professor. I didn't mean to go against your rules. I just wanted to know more about the room. I'm sorry."

"I understand Harry. As I told you, I should have brought up the room earlier. I should have at least told you something so you wouldn't be curious. This was the first time I've been back to this house since I left over twenty years ago. When I found you in there, I couldn't deal with the memories the room brought up."

"I know what you mean," Harry said to himself.

Severus looked at Harry through narrowed eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

"I…" Harry began. He thought he said that in his head, but obviously he didn't. Did he really want the professor to know? But more than likely, through all the memories the man had seen during their Occlumency lessons, he too already knew. "I just know what you mean about the room bringing back memories. I feel the same way whenever I have to go into my cupboard to get something." At Severus' questioning gaze, he clarified in a very quiet voice. "It was the room I had until I was twelve."

"You're room? I thought those memories were of you playing in there." Severus quickly put down his hot cup of tea when some splashed on his hands. His hands were shaking.

"Our childhoods were not so different," Harry said in response, then grabbed his homework and went up to his room. He now wanted to be alone.

Severus sat on the sofa as he watched Harry leave the room. _Our childhoods were not so different._ "It couldn't be true," he said quietly to the empty room. "Harry could not have been abused. He was pampered while he was growing up." But then he remembered some of the memories he had seen during the boy's Occlumency lessons. It was true. He just hoped it wasn't as bad for Harry as it was for him.

Harry's wanting to be alone only lasted for a few hours. The vision he had last night was still too fresh in his memory and he felt uneasy. With a book in hand, he went in search of Severus and found him sitting on the sofa in the living room reading. He joined him on he sofa and began reading too.

When Severus went to the kitchen for lunch, Harry followed as well. Wherever the man went, Harry followed. This didn't go unnoticed by Severus. However, he wouldn't bring it up to the boy. He was sure he knew what was going on with Harry.

After dinner, they both retired to the living room. Harry sat in the corner of the sofa and picked up the book he had been reading. Severus, however, wanted to indulge in something he hadn't done in years. Watch a movie. He made sure he had purchased a new television set, a somewhat new piece of equipment called a dvd player, and some dvds before the holiday started. He put a suspense movie in the player and sat on the sofa.

A few minutes in to the movie, Harry had stopped reading and scooted a little closer to the professor to get a better view of the television to watch the movie. When that movie ended, Severus put in another one. This one ended an hour after Harry was to be in bed.

"Harry, I think it's time for you to be in bed. Get going."

Harry hesitated, a little reluctant to go to sleep. "But sir, I'm not…"

"Go on up to bed Harry," Severus repeated as he stood up and turned off the television and dvd player. "I'll be up in a few minutes."

Knowing there was no way out of going to bed, Harry nodded. "Yes sir."

After Harry left, Severus went up to his room and grabbed a vial of dreamless sleep. With vial in hand, he went into Harry's bedroom.

"You really need to sleep Harry." He handed the vial to Harry. "It's dreamless sleep."

Harry downed the potion. "Thank you sir." He crawled under the covers and lay down on his side. "Goodnight professor."

"Goodnight Harry." Severus adjusted the comforter over the boy and retired to his own room for the night.

*************

At ten Sunday morning, Harry and Severus were walking back to the train station. They would be at Hogwarts in time for dinner. The trip back to castle was almost a repeat of the trip to Spinners End with Severus reading or writing and Harry sleeping or reading.

When the two arrived back at the castle, Harry immediately set off to Gryffindor tower, but Severus called out to him before he was out of sight. "Please be in the Great Hall in an hour for dinner."

"Yes sir," Harry yelled while walking away.

Severus sighed and headed down to the dungeons. After unpacking and relaxing for a bit, Severus walked up to the Great Hall for dinner. He met Harry outside the doors. When they entered, they were surprised to see that the headmaster had planned for a New Year's celebration for the three of them.

After enjoying the celebratory dinner and fireworks they all headed to bed well after midnight. As Severus descended the stairs to the dungeons, he wondered what the future for him and Harry would be like, now that the rest of the students were to arrive back at the school tomorrow.

* * *

Thanks for all the reviews! Hope you like this chapter.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Severus was sitting at the small dining table in his private quarters eating breakfast extremely early Monday morning and was contemplating the day ahead. The day before a new term was always a busy one for Severus. Normally during the two week holiday, he would work on his lesson plans for the next few months, brew various antidotes for the dangerous potions he would be teaching the coming term, and assist the medi-witch in the hospital wing with brewing the potions she would need. Under normal circumstances, he would spend today cleaning and preparing his dungeon classroom for the remaining term.

This year, however, during the two week holiday he was only able to brew the potions for the hospital wing and his needed antidotes. That meant he would need to get the classroom ready and work on his lesson plans today. It was too much work and there was not enough time to complete it all.

The important thing for today was getting the classroom ready and completing at least a week's worth of lesson plans. Of course, the more plans he could complete, the better. He decided he would spend the evenings during the rest of the week working on the remainder of the plans he didn't get to. Luckily he didn't need to do much to the plans. Having taught the subject for many years, he mostly followed the same lesson plans every year. He just had to tailor them for the current batch of students. Today he wouldn't leave the confines of his classroom and quarters except to attend the required staff meeting in the afternoon.

Severus wasn't going to complain about today's workload though. He wouldn't give up the time he had spent with Harry for anything. Yes, they had problems; more than a few, and the two had a lot to work through, but having to spend all day today working on lessons plans was worth it. That made him realize how much he still needed to explain to the boy. Especially what was said at the park a few days prior.

Having finished his breakfast, Severus headed over to his classroom to begin the cleaning and the long day ahead of him.

*************

The late morning sunlight glinted off the bright white snow as Harry flew around the Quidditch pitch Monday. He was getting in some last minute flying time before his fellow students arrived back to Hogwarts later that afternoon. It wasn't until he kicked off the ground over an hour before that he realized how much he missed flying. True, he wasn't flying on his own broom, but at least he was in the air. With that thought in mind, he began wondering if he'd be able to get his broom back now that Professor Umbridge was no longer at Hogwarts. That would be one thing he would talk to his Head of House about before the week was over. He wanted his Firebolt back. He was tired of having to use the school's brooms. It actually surprised him that he forgot all about his Firebolt until this morning.

While flying high above the stands, Harry's thoughts of course drifted towards the week he had spent at Spinners End with Professor Snape. He knew his emotions were running all over the place near the end of his stay there. One minute he hated the man, the next he couldn't stand being away from him. And to make it worse, the man himself was confusing. Only a few times had he acted like the greasy git he knew from Hogwarts. The rest of the time he was acting almost normal, like how Remus and Sirius would act around him. And even though the professor was acting different and he didn't mind the new side of him, Harry knew that it was all part of the professor's joke on him. And as much as he wanted to at times, he wouldn't fall for it. He didn't want to get hurt when the man decided to end it all. It only seemed right, then, that the professor should stay as his hated potions master; the way he was before the holidays. He would try to forget everything that happened that week.

As Harry made a sweep around the hoops farthest from the castle preparing to practice a Wronski Feint, he noticed that it was beginning to snow. Deciding it was time to head back inside, he instead flew safely down to the ground. As he landed, he felt a flash of pain in his left leg. He almost ended up sprawled on the snow covered grass as his leg gave a throbbing spasm the second he put weight on it. He gave his leg a few shakes then headed up to the castle, limping slightly for a few steps before resuming his normal walk.

A couple of hours later after a quiet lunch with a majority of the professors, sans Professor Snape, Harry returned to the Gryffindor common room to relax. Walking over to the table closest to the spiral staircase, he grabbed the puzzle book the potions master bought him last week and curled up in front of the fireplace and began working on the puzzles.

So caught up in the book, Harry didn't know what time it was until he heard his noisy housemates spilling in to the common room from the portrait hole hours later. Most ignored Harry's presence except for Ron and Hermione. Upon entering and seeing Harry sitting in front of the fire, they headed there directly; however they were still pretty much focused on each other, the two-week holiday only aiding their infatuation with the other.

"Hiya mate," Ron said as he hit Harry on the shoulder in greeting, and then sat down.

Harry winced at Ron's greeting and absentmindedly rubbed his shoulder. "Hi. How were both of your holidays?" He closed the puzzle book as Hermione took a seat next to him.

"Mine was great," Ron replied. "Hermione stayed for a week and her and my family…" Ron stopped speaking as he finally turned his attention to Harry. "Blimey Harry! What happened to you? You look…well, you look different."

At Ron's declaration, Hermione turned her attention from goggling Ron to studying Harry's appearance. "Ron's right. You do Harry. What happened?"

In all his attempts to forget about the past week spent at Spinners End, Harry also forgot that he now resembled the potions master. He just hoped his friends didn't notice who he looked like. He really wasn't prepared for that topic of conversation. "I don't know what you're talking about," Harry replied, playing dumb and staring at the fire. "I look like I have for the past two weeks. Maybe both of your memories are slipping."

"I don't think so, Harry," Hermione replied, looking more closely at Harry.

Wanting the conversation about his looks and the staring to stop, Harry abruptly stood up. "Sorry guys. I just remembered that I promised Professor Lupin that I'd come see him this afternoon. I'll catch up to you later at dinner."

Without waiting for a response, Harry climbed out of the portrait hole and headed straight to Professor Lupin's office. He didn't really want to talk to the professor, he was still a little angry with him, but he wanted to talk to someone. He needed answers and a solution.

During lunch, Harry had overheard the Headmaster reminding the professors about the staff meeting that afternoon. He only hoped that the meeting was over and that the professor would be in his office. He knocked on the wooden door and waited to be called in. A minute went by without a word. Figuring the meeting was still going on, Harry slowly headed back up to the Gryffindor tower slightly discouraged. He didn't want to return to the common room and face his friends with their relentless questions on his appearance. He needed to talk to Lupin.

Walking through one of the second floor corridors, Harry spotted Remus exiting the staffroom farther up from him. He rushed to catch up. "Professor, do you have a few minutes?" Harry asked out of breath.

Remus stopped walking and turned to face the voice. He was surprised to see it was Harry. After the way they departed two weeks ago, he didn't think he'd see the boy all that soon. He knew Harry had to be mad at him. "Of course Harry." He looked around, and seeing as no other students were in the corridor, he walked over to one of the benches situated in an alcove with Harry following. "How were your holidays Harry? I believe you spent them with Professor Snape. Am I correct?" Remus sat down and so did Harry.

Harry only answered half of the questions asked. "Yes, sir. I did." He sat there staring at his hands, unsure of how to voice his concerns.

"So, how were they?" Remus asked in the ensuing silence. "Your holidays?"

Harry remained quiet, still thinking about how he wanted to start the conversation and not really wanting to answer the man's question.

"Harry?" Remus was getting a little concerned with Harry's silence; thinking the worst. "Were they really that bad?" Remus had no doubt that the past week had been an interesting one, but he doubted it could have been really bad.

Harry shook his head. "No. They weren't bad. They were just..." He couldn't finish his thought. He had too many conflicting emotions. Truth be told, he seemingly enjoyed the holiday he spent with the potions master. And he hated that fact. "They were just different," he finally replied.

"I can tell something is bothering you Harry."

As much as he wanted to keep his problems to himself, Harry knew that he had to confide in the professor if he wanted any sort of help. That was why he sought out the professor in the first place. And he knew he had to start at the beginning. He moved his gaze from his hands to Remus. "Erm…I was wondering…I mean, did you get…did you get a letter from my mother a few months ago?"

Deep down Harry was hoping the answer would be no. But at the same time he hoped the answer was yes. He didn't want to think what he would feel like if Professor Lupin answered no. That meant that it _was_ a really cruel joke Professor Snape was playing on him. Then again, if the answer was yes, there could be a possibility that it was still a joke. The potions master could have created the letter given to Remus. But would Professor Snape really go to all that trouble? There was always the possibility that the letters were real. He really didn't want to think about that.

Remus' answer broke Harry out of his thoughts. "Yes I did, Harry," he answered and watched the various emotions flit across Harry's face at the statement.

"Was the letter really from my mother?"

"Yes." Remus watched the boy with concern, wondering how he felt about the news that was in the letter.

Harry began to feel a knot forming in his stomach. If that was true, then that meant that Snape was his… He couldn't even finish that thought. He didn't _want_ to finish that thought. "How can you be sure? How do you know Snape didn't write it up?" He really didn't want to take the professor's word for it.

While Remus and Harry were having their conversation, Severus exited the staffroom; the Headmaster having finally finished his discussion with him a few minutes prior. As he walked down the corridor to head back to his quarters, he heard his name mentioned. He walked a few feet closer, spotted Harry and Remus, and stopped to listen, making sure he was somewhat hidden in the shadows. He knew it was bad to eavesdrop, but by the tone of voice between the other two, he had a feeling he needed to hear this conversation.

Oblivious to Severus' presence, the conversation between Remus and Harry continued.

"Professor Snape did not write the letter," Remus reiterated. "To me or to himself."

"But how do you know?"

"I just know Harry."

Harry dropped his gaze. "It can't be real. I _know_ it's not real!"

"What is wrong Harry?"

"It's a joke professor," Harry replied miserably. "A cruel joke the professor is playing on me. With our past, you should know that."

"What makes you say that?" Even though Remus knew the truth, he could see Harry needed to get everything off his chest.

Harry was astounded that Remus didn't know. "He hates me! This is just the type of thing the greasy git would do to me." Harry stood up as his anger intensified and faced Remus who was still sitting on the bench. "It's payback for looking into his pensive last year, for looking exactly like my father, for being at Hogwarts…for living. It's just a huge joke designed to hurt me."

Severus couldn't believe what Harry had just said and was glad he was hidden in the shadows. He knew for a fact that if anyone had looked at him at that moment, they would be able to see the anguish he felt pouring out of his posture and from the expression on his face. But for once, he didn't have the heart to care. The way Harry felt about him was more important. It actually scared him when he realized how the boy meant more to him now than his reputation as the evil potions master.

And he didn't know which upset him the most; the fact that the boy honestly thought it was a cruel joke or what he, Severus, supposedly thought of Harry and why he was supposedly doing this to him. Then again, with the history between the two, it _was_ fully understandable. And Harry did mention something like this just a few days ago. He and Harry definitely needed to have a serious conversation soon.

Remus stood up and placed his hands on Harry's shoulders. The boy was working himself into a state. "Calm down Harry. You know none of that is true." Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Severus listening to the conversation. Normally he would be irate that the man was listening in to a private conversation, but this time he was glad. He could see how Harry's words had affected the potions master and he knew it was a good thing.

"How do you know it's false?" Harry asked.

It wasn't until this point in time that Remus was glad that during one of their conversations before the staff meeting Severus let slip what he gave Harry as a Christmas present last week. If anything could convince Harry, that gift should be it. "Harry, what did the professor give you for Christmas?"

Harry lowered his eyes from Remus to stare at the stone floor. That was one thing out of many that Harry wanted to forget about and it figured Remus had to bring it up. "He gave…he gave me a photo album."

"Who's was it before he gave it to you?"

"His." Before Remus could say another word, Harry looked up and quickly continued. "But he made that up as well."

"Harry."

Harry interrupted. "You can try to convince me otherwise, but I know the truth."

At this point, Remus decided to give up. It was up to Severus to convince the boy everything was the truth. He stood there a minute just looking at Harry.

Harry was tired of arguing. It wasn't worth it. And as long as he knew the truth, that was all that mattered. He didn't have to convince anyone else.

As he watched Remus run a hand through his hair, he remembered the real reason why he sought out the man in front of him. "Professor, I need you to reverse whatever Snape did to me," he said calmly as he sat back down on the bench.

"I don't understand." Remus took a seat next to Harry.

"Don't I look different to you?"

Remus looked at Harry closely. The boy definitely was Severus' son. "You _have_ gone through a lot of changes over the Christmas holiday. But I don't think…"

Harry interrupted Remus, knowing what the man was about to say. "Please, professor," he pleaded. "He must have cast a charm on me while I was sleeping or slipped some type of potion into the food last week. I don't know what he did, but I want it reversed. Please! I can't stand looking like this. I don't want to look like this." He turned a little on the bench so he could look at his reflection in the window. "I just want to look like myself. Like I always have. I want to look like my father."

Remus held back his thoughts at Harry's last statement and glanced again at Severus standing in the corridor. He knew the man had heard all of the boy's comments. By looking at Severus, Remus could tell the words bothered him. "Harry, I don't think…"

"Forget it professor," Harry said sharply as he stood up. He should have known better than to seek out the man. The professor never really helped him in the past. He didn't know why he thought different this time. "Don't bother. I can find out how to do it on my own. It wouldn't be the first time."

"Harry." Remus grabbed Harry's arm to stop him from leaving.

"I said forget it Professor." Harry yanked his arm free from Remus' grasp and quickly left the small alcove they were in with his head down.

Remus followed Harry with his eyes for a second, and then made contact with Severus'. He gave the potions master a pleading look; a look that told the man to fix this and fast.

Severus watched as Harry made his way towards him, unaware that he was standing there. He couldn't explain what he was feeling, but he knew that he desperately needed to talk to Harry. When the boy was almost to him, he called out his name. "Mr. Potter."

At the call of his name, Harry stopped walking, looked up and met the concerned gaze of the potions master. He hoped the professor hadn't heard any of what was said between the Remus and himself.

"Harry, we need to talk."

Hearing his first name coming from the potions master, Harry held the man's gaze for a few more seconds then took off running.

Severus let out a breath and lowered his head after watching Harry run around the corner. He definitely had his work cut out for him. At least he now knew what Harry thought of the situation. And he knew it would help him decide the best course of action.

As Severus was staring at the ground deciding what he needed to do first, a pair of feet stopped in his line of sight. "Not now Lupin."

"But Severus."

"I said...Not. Now." Severus quickly turned and headed down to his private quarters in the dungeon, leaving Remus to stare after him.

*************

Harry didn't know where he was running to. He just knew he had to get away and think. By the time he stopped running, he found himself at the top of the astronomy tower. He paced the tower a few times before finally lowering himself to floor and sitting against the wall.

One thing was clear. He was alone in his search to return his appearance back to normal. He should have known that would be how it was. He could never count on any adult in the past when he needed help, so what made him think it would be any different now? He also knew he couldn't count on his friends to help. They were one of the many reasons why Harry even had to figure out what to do.

Knowing he'd have to find the answer to his appearance soon, he decided he would head to the library right after he finished dinner. He'd spend any free time there trying to find a solution. There had to be a way to reverse it. He couldn't be the only one this had ever happened to.

While watching the clouds float by outside, he then remembered one of his first questions to the potions master about his appearance the day he read the letter. He asked if it had anything to do with Voldemort. That was the answer! Until he could find a way to reverse whatever it was the professor did to him, he'd use the excuse that his change in appearance was due to Voldemort. No one would question him on that. He just hoped no one would be able to tell who he really looked like. He didn't have an answer for that and he couldn't really think of one.

When his stomach gave a growl a half hour later, Harry knew it was almost time for dinner. Even though he told Ron and Hermione he'd see them in the Great Hall, he wasn't ready to face them yet. He had his excuse about his appearance ready but he needed just a little bit more time. Knowing he and his friends normally showed up towards the middle of the meal, he decided to head down to dinner now. Besides, it would give him more time to start his search in the library before he had to be back in the common room later that night.

As Harry headed to the library after eating, he decided he'd first search out potions that changed a person's appearance. Professor Snape was a potions master so it would only make sense that the man would have used some sort of potion on him. Figuring it'd be faster if he acquired Madam Pince's help with locating the appropriate section to find the books he needed, he sought out the librarian as soon as he entered.

Four hours later, sporting a massive headache and being no closer to a solution than he was earlier in the day, Harry finally stepped foot into the Gryffindor common room. He was expecting an ambush from Hermione and Ron, but was surprised to see they weren't even in the room. Feeling slightly disappointed and relieved at the same time, Harry headed up the spiral staircase to his dorm room. All he wanted to do was lay on his bed in the dark and try to desperately get rid of his headache.

*************

Severus had hoped that he would be able to meet with Harry sometime during the first week back, but things definitely changed since this time yesterday. At yesterday's staff meeting, Severus found out that the Headmaster was still extremely concerned with the possible attack on the school and scheduled staff meetings every other afternoon. That put a dent in his plan to continue getting his lesson plans completed by the end of the week. It also meant that he would have to cancel his Occlumency lessons with Harry this week as well. That was why Severus found himself stopping off at the Gryffindor table on his way to the head table for breakfast first thing Tuesday morning.

As Severus stopped behind Harry, he got a spark of pleasure out of seeing the terror on the faces of some of Harry's housemates. He schooled his features and began telling his small little lie. He couldn't have the whole school know what was going on. "Mr. Potter, the Headmaster requested I deliver this note to you. Though why he couldn't do it himself is beyond me."

Harry turned around and grabbed the folded piece of parchment. "Thank you sir." He watched the potions master walk to the head table before he turned around to open and read the note, wondering what the Headmaster wanted him for now. With a huge smile on his face, Harry placed the letter in his pocket and glanced up to the head table.

The smile didn't go unnoticed by Severus and he was disappointed in the boy's reaction.

When Harry returned to facing the table, Hermione and Ron were just sitting down across from him.

"Morning Harry," Hermione said in greeting a little less than happy as she served herself some scrambled eggs from the dish in front of her.

"Good morning guys," Harry replied.

Surprisingly, Ron was the one who began voicing his and Hermione's concerns about Harry. "Harry, mate. What's going on? Why did you avoid us yesterday? We were waiting for you at dinner in the Great Hall and you never came."

"Yes, Harry," Hermione joined in. "And why won't you answer us about your appearance. Why do you look so different? Don't we have a right to know?"

Harry was hoping to have a little time before having to address all of this, but luck didn't seem to be on his side lately. Luck didn't seem to be on his side ever, actually. He knew he'd have to start his lying now. "I wasn't avoiding you. Professor Lupin and I lost track of time and we ended up having dinner in his quarters."

"But why didn't we see you in the common room at all last night?" asked Ron.

"We wanted to finish our conversation." In his nervousness, Harry began playing with his fork, pushing pieces of sausage all over his plate.

"You didn't show up before we all went to bed." Hermione stated.

"Erm…Lupin walked me to the tower late last night."

Hermione looked at Harry skeptically, but decided to drop that part of the subject. Instead, she began the conversation she wanted to finish since arriving at Hogwarts yesterday afternoon. "So Harry, why do you look so different? What happened?"

"Why can't you leave things alone Hermione?" Harry questioned with anger in his voice. "Maybe I don't want to talk about it, alright?" Seeing tears beginning to form in Hermione's eyes he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Hermione. I didn't mean to upset you."

"No Harry, you're right. I'm sorry. I just…" Hermione was interrupted by Harry.

"No, I'll tell you." He didn't really want to give in to Hermione, but maybe if he did, it would stop her from asking any more questions. Harry looked around the hall making sure they were not being listened to and leaned across the table towards his friends. "It was one of the things I was talking to Professor Lupin about." At least Harry knew that part was true. "It seems this," Harry pointed to his face, "is an effect of the connection with Voldemort."

Ron looked at Harry with confusion. "I don't think I understand mate. How could Vol…I mean, You-Know-Who do that to you?"

"Yeah Harry," Hermione chimed in. "It doesn't seem plausible. How can a mind connection between the two of you cause your appearance to change?"

Well, so much for his lie working. His two friends were too smart. But it was all he had. They had to think it was because of Voldemort. "I don't quite know Hermione."

"But, I don't see how…"

"Drop it Hermione," Harry said sharply, beginning to get angry again with his friends. Why did they always have to question and argue with him on everything he said? "That's why okay? If you don't like the reason, too bad. That's the only reason there is!" He said the last statement a little louder than he intended and noticed that much of the Gryffindor table and a few of the professors were staring at him.

No longer in the mood to eat anything, Harry stood up and left the Great Hall. He had forty-five minutes before his first class so he decided he would spend that time in the library. Maybe he'd be luckier than he was last night.

His time spent in the library before his first class was well worth it. He found two books that held potential solutions to getting his appearance back to normal. After getting permission from Madam Pince, Harry headed to his History of Magic class thirty-five minutes later with two additional books in his book bag.

Late Tuesday night when Harry entered the Gryffindor common room, he was glad how the day went. Everything seemed to be as it was last term before the Christmas holiday. He only hoped it lasted until the summer holiday. And he also noticed that after his little blow-up in the morning at breakfast, Ron and Hermione didn't question him on his appearance or whereabouts anymore; though it seemed like torture for the two not to know what was going on with him. But he'd rather have it that way.

*************

Throughout the first week back at school, Harry spent the majority of his time up in the Room of Requirement. He found that he was more productive if he wasn't interrupted a lot nor had people asking why he was always reading potions books in his free time. With help from the Marauder's Map, Harry often stayed late into the night in the room reading through the books before heading to his bed to sleep for only a few hours. He was also hardly eating when in the Great Hall as well, wanting to go up to the Room of Requirement as soon as possible.

Late Thursday night, Harry finally found a possible potion that would reverse any appearance altering potion that had been consumed. After reading through the recipe and instructions, he found it was luckily an easy enough potion to brew and didn't require a lot of time for preparation and the brewing process. After acquiring all the required ingredients, he could brew the potion in just a few hours.

On Friday, Harry purposely left his cauldron in his trunk in the dorm room. When he arrived to Potions, he grabbed a cauldron from the stack the professor kept at the back of the room, and then he took his seat. When class ended, he packed the cauldron, along with a few ingredients that were needed for the potion, in his bag and headed to his next class. If everything worked out well, the potions master wouldn't even know a cauldron and some ingredients from the classroom stores were missing. Luckily Harry already had a majority of the needed ingredients.

During his free time after lunch and before his next class Friday, Harry returned to his dorm room, pulled his invisibility cloak out from the bottom of his trunk and took the cauldron along with a majority of the potion ingredients up to the Room of Requirement. He would be using the room as his lab until he reversed whatever it was the professor had done to him.

Under the excuse of visiting Professor Lupin, Harry headed to the Room of Requirement Saturday morning after breakfast. He had everything ready and was going to brew the potion. If everything worked as planned, he might leave the room normal, looking like himself.

After looking in a mirror three hours later, Harry left the room extremely disappointed. The potion had no effect. He was back to square one. He would again be spending a majority of his time in the library. This time in the restricted section. Hopefully he would find another potion in one of those books.

*************

Tuesday morning, after spotting a new Quidditch magazine Ron left out on his bed, Harry remembered his broom. That afternoon between classes, he decided to take the opportunity and speak with his head of house about getting his broom back. As he got closer to the staffroom, he began to feel slightly nervous. The situation was almost identical to his first year when he went to retrieve 'Quidditch Through the Ages' from Professor Snape. But he had to remind himself he wasn't seeking out the potions master this time.

Once he arrived at the staffroom, he knocked on the door. There was no way he would walk directly in without being asked.

The door opened a few seconds later and luckily he was met with the sight of the person he was looking for. Professor McGonagall.

"Mr. Potter. Did you need something?" It wasn't all that often a student would seek out a professor in the staffroom.

"Yes, actually. If you've got time."

"I've got only a few minutes." The professor opened the door all the way. "Come in then."

Harry entered the door and climbed the two steps to the main room, still feeling slightly nervous, and watched as the professor closed the door behind him.

Professor McGonagall turned to face Harry. "Well then, Mr. Potter. What can I help you with?" She then headed to the table and took a seat. She motioned for Harry to do the same.

After Harry sat down, he addressed his head of house. "Professor, I was wondering if the Quidditch ban Professor Umbridge placed on me last year has been lifted?

"It has." She was actually surprised that it took Harry this long to ask about the ban placed last year. She thought it would have been one of the first things he asked about upon returning to the castle back in September.

Harry let out a huge breath. "Great. So, would it be possible for me to get my broom back?" He felt a bit of apprehension when he saw the look on the professor's face change.

"I'm sorry Mr. Potter, but that won't be possible."

Harry just stared at his strict professor. "I don't understand."

"I wish I didn't have to tell you this, but after confiscating your broom last year, Professor Umbridge burned it."

"What?!" Harry immediately stood up.

"I thought you already knew." Professor McGonagall stood up as well as she glanced at the clock on the wall. She squeezed Harry's shoulder. "I'm sorry Potter. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an appointment I need to attend to."

Harry walked a few feet towards the door in shock as he watched the professor leave. His Firebolt was gone? His most prized possession? His first ever gift from his godfather? He wanted to treasure that broom forever. It meant so much to him. And now it was gone?

His gaze fell and he dropped his head to stare at the floor. Why couldn't anything go his way? Beginning to feel numb, Harry slowly sunk down to sit on the steps and rested his arms on his knees with his hands clasped.

The back door to the staffroom opened a minute later and Severus entered the room. He was hoping to get a few minutes peace before his next class and read a few articles in the newest Defense journal Remus left on the table at their staff meeting a few hours ago. He wanted a small break from his lesson plans. As he was about to take a seat at the table, he spotted a very recognizable mop of black hair sitting on the floor by the front door. "Mr. Potter? What are you doing in here?" Harry didn't answer. This was a bit unsettling for Severus. "Mr. Potter. Harry, is everything okay?"

Not really paying attention to who was talking to him, but thinking it was Remus, Harry nodded his head yes. Then he changed his mind and shook his head in the negative. He was feeling too miserable to lie. "No." He brought his hands up and buried his head into them.

For Harry to admit that, and to the man he currently hated with everything in him, Severus knew something was really bothering the boy. He walked over to the steps and sat down next to Harry. "What happened?"

Without acknowledging the professor's presence, Harry dropped his hands and continued to stare at his feet. "It's gone. My Firebolt. Professor Umbridge burned it as soon as she confiscated it last year."

"Is that what's got you so miserable?" Severus asked, slightly amused. "A broom? They are replaceable if you didn't know."

"It's not just a broom." Harry replied angrily. How dare the professor think it was funny. "It was the first gift I ever received from Sirius. It was more than a broom to me, ok?" His voice was full of pain. He brought his hands back up and pressed the palms into his closed eyes until he saw stars. "You don't understand."

But Severus did understand. He had first hand experience. Back when he and Lily had first met, Lily had bought him one of her favorite books as a birthday present. He read it over and over, until his father, in a fit of rage, decided to tear it up and throw it and a few of his other possessions into the fire as he watched, to teach him a lesson. The book was the first gift he had ever received from Lily.

Severus moved closer and placed a reassuring hand on Harry's back. "I do understand. I'm sorry Harry.

At that moment, Harry realized who he had been talking to and it disgusted him. He needed to get away from the professor immediately. Without a word, Harry quickly stood up and exited the staffroom, leaving Severus sitting on the steps with his hand hovering in the air.

As Harry walked through the corridors towards Gryffindor tower, he couldn't believe how stupid he was. How didn't he know it was the potions master when the man first started talking to him? And how could he have said all that to the potions master? It seemed that whenever the man was around, he couldn't help but spill everything that was on his mind. And why did it have to be Snape that found him right after he found out about his broom?

*************

For once Severus was looking forward to Harry's Occlumency lessons. He hated having to cancel the two lessons last week, but knew it was a necessity. If he didn't, he knew his full concentration wouldn't have been on the boy.

During the coming weeks, he had hopes of learning more about Harry while also giving him the needed lessons. This first week of lessons, though, were needed to talk to the boy about what he learned during Remus' and Harry's conversation last week, and what was said their final days at Spinners End. He would talk with the boy after the lessons were over each night.

Severus was seated at his desk Tuesday evening grading homework when Harry arrived at his office. After allowing the boy to enter and pointing him over to one of the two seats in front of his desk, he set his quill down and sat staring at Harry.

"I would like to begin tonight's lesson with a review of how to clear your mind. I know you have been having problems with this aspect and knowing it's essential to mastering the art, I feel it best if we start there."

Somewhat shocked at how the professor was planning on teaching this lesson, which was far different from all he had ever had, all Harry could do was nod his head.

An hour later, Harry had a better understanding of how to clear his mind. A half hour after that, he was put to the test as the potions master entered his mind three times. Unfortunately, he had the same results he always had when the professor entered his mind. After catching his breath after the third try, Harry slowly rose from the floor to sit in the chair facing Severus' desk.

While Harry was recovering, Severus sat down in the vacant chair next to Harry. The Occlumency lesson was over and he hoped he could now speak to the boy.

When Harry opened his eyes, he noticed the potions master was sitting in the chair next to him. Unaccustomed to the professor sitting that close to him, Harry was slightly wary. "Sir?"

"Mr. Potter, I wanted to speak with you before we end your lessons tonight. I feel we have quite a few things to discuss."

Somehow Harry knew that Occlumency wasn't on Severus' mind anymore. And having a discussion about anything else with the professor was the last thing Harry wanted to do. He really just wanted to get out of that office. With everything that had been going on between the potions master and himself, the last thing Harry wanted to do was spend more time than necessary with the man. Besides, he needed to get to the library to continue with his research. "Professor, I don't think…"

"We _will_ end with a discussion," Severus said forcefully. "You may not think it necessary but I do." Severus had a feeling the boy would fight him on this, but he needed to talk to Harry.

"It isn't necessary," Harry stated coldly as he stood up. "I've got more important things to do tonight, like homework. Goodbye professor." He quickly walked to the door and out of the office, not caring that he was being disrespectful nor what the potions master would do to him.

The door shut loudly before Severus could even realize what just happened. He stared at the closed door for a few seconds before standing up and walking to his side of the desk to finish grading homework. He'd have to come up with another way to talk to the boy.

*************

Severus was having a hard time finishing up his lesson plans. With more than a normal amount of staff meetings and numerous detentions he had to supervise during the last week and a half, it was any wonder he found time to sleep. But when he was asked by Professor Flitwick to supervise Thursday's study period in the Great Hall, he didn't hesitate in answering yes.

He knew Harry would be in there and he really wanted to see the boy. He knew he couldn't talk to him at all, lest anyone think something was going on since he normally didn't seek out Harry to talk. But just being able to watch him from time to time would be good enough. He tried watching the boy at meal times, but noticed that half the time the boy never showed up or if he did, he was rarely in the room for longer than ten minutes.

Harry was disappointed the second he entered the Great Hall and saw it wasn't Professor Flitwick supervising the study period. He had hoped to not see Snape until his Occlumency lessons that night. Giving a small sigh, he headed over to the Gryffindor table and sat down, pulling his homework out of his book bag.

More than one time during the study period, Harry felt like someone was watching him. A few times he caught the professor's eye. Feeling nauseous at the thought of the professor watching him, Harry turned his attention to his homework and tried to ignore him.

Because Severus had been watching Harry at various times during meals, he noticed that the boy had hardly been eating and at times looked extremely tired. He knew for a fact that he wasn't getting food after hours either. He had visited the kitchens earlier that morning and spoke with the elves. Having a feeling why Harry was skipping meals and sleep, but knowing he couldn't talk to the boy about it yet, Severus did the only thing he could currently think of. He would try to get the boy to eat something. Harry had to be hungry.

About forty-five minutes into the period and after getting clarification from Hermione on their Transfiguration essay, Harry noticed a banana and some grapes being moved from the serving bowl near Hermione to a plate and being levitated towards him. "Thanks for the snack Hermione," he said, thinking it was his friend looking out for him. "I am pretty hungry I guess."

Hermione looked at Harry confused. "I had nothing to do with it."

Before Harry could form a reply, a glass of juice was being poured into a glass from the pitcher in front of Harry and placed next to the plate of fruit. "Then who is it?" Harry asked and looked around the Great Hall. He spotted the potions master looking his way and placing his wand in his robes.

With a knitted brow, Harry turned his attention back to his homework. Finding that it was most likely Professor Snape who did it, he had planned on ignoring the food in front of him, but he decided he really was hungry. Peeling the banana, he got started on his Transfiguration essay, trying to ignore who had his well-being in mind.

*************

The next few weeks proceeded in the same manner as the past week and a half had for Harry. Outside of his classes and homework, he spent time trying to find a potion to help return his appearance back to normal. His friends started treating him the way they were the beginning of the school term back in September, which was mostly ignoring him, and he found it no longer bothered him since he had more important things to do. And luckily his classes were going as expected.

During Occlumency lessons, Severus tried to engage Harry in conversations. And to date, no conversation ever happened. To Severus' disappointment, the boy would leave his office the second the lessons were over. He needed to find some excuse to talk to the boy outside of classes and Occlumency. The longer he waited to have the conversations with Harry, the harder it would be for Harry to accept the truth. He needed to talk with Harry now.

*************

It was the beginning of February and Severus still hadn't had a chance to speak with Harry. However, the first potions class of the month proved to be a possible answer to the problem.

Halfway through the class, Harry turned his attention away from his cauldron to ask Hermione if he was correct in the way he cut up the mint leaves for their potion. Before Hermione had a chance to answer, Severus swooped over to the table the two were sharing.

"I see you feel a conversation is more important than making sure your potion doesn't boil over, Mr. Potter," Severus stated icily. "Which, you would have noticed if your attention was on your work and not on Ms. Granger, it is."

Harry quickly glanced at his cauldron and groaned.

"Zero for your potion, Mr. Potter." Severus pulled out his wand and waved it at Harry's bubbling cauldron. "Evanesco." He then looked at Harry with slight disappointment showing in his eyes and on his face. "You have a detention with me here tonight at 6:30. Do not be late."

Harry kept eye contact with the potions master until the man turned around and headed back to his desk. He lowered his eyes and stared into his empty cauldron, trying to decipher why he felt so bad. It took him a moment until he realized why. It was the first time he could remember anyone looking at him like that; with such disappointment. Could he actually have disappointed the man? How could you disappoint someone who hated you?

"What was that about?" Hermione asked the second they cleared the threshold of the potions classroom twenty minutes later.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, though he thought he knew why she was asking.

"The way Professor Snape looked at you? I've never seen him look at anyone like that before."

Harry glanced back inside the classroom then shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know. Let's just forget about it okay? That git isn't worth our time."

Hermione nodded, keeping her comments about the way Harry addressed the professor to herself, and the two went to meet Ron in the Gryffindor common room.

*************

At six twenty-five that night, Harry found himself standing in front of the potion's classroom. The door was open so he stepped inside.

"I see you're on time, Mr. Potter," Severus stated from the side of the classroom. "The sooner you begin your detention, the sooner you will be done." He turned around and with a cauldron in one hand and a book in the other, headed to one of the front row tables. He set the cauldron and book down and faced Harry. "Part of your detention tonight will be to re-brew the potion you were to brew in class. You'll find all the required ingredients in the storeroom. I trust you remember what page in the text the recipe and instructions are on?"

"Yes sir," Harry replied, surprised that he would be re-brewing the potion. He didn't recall the professor doing this often; it at all. Then he remembered the expression on the man's face this afternoon. Could that be why he was given a second chance?

"Get to work. When you are finished, come see me." Severus turned around and took a seat at his desk. He pulled a stack of papers out of the desk drawer and began reading through second year essays, liberally marking a lot of them with red ink.

Harry watched the professor for a few minutes before opening the book to the proper page and heading over to the storeroom with a list of needed ingredients. As he went through the storeroom and found the required ingredients, he placed the vials and jars on an empty shelf near the door. Seeing one of the ingredients was on the second to the top shelf on the far side of the room way out of his reach, he pulled the ladder over and climbed up. After grabbing the needed jar, he carefully placed it in his pocket to begin descending the ladder.

As he stepped down to the rung below the one he was on, he felt a sharp pain in his left leg, reminiscent to his day on the Quidditch pitch the start of term last month. Unlike last time, however, his leg did give out and he started to fall to the ground. Hoping to stop his fall, Harry grabbed on to the first thing he reached for. The shelf above him. Unfortunately the shelf didn't offer any help and he fell to the floor, bringing the top four shelves and their contents with him. As he fell and heard all the glass breaking around him, he knew he'd never see tomorrow. Professor Snape would be beyond livid. He'd be out for death. But when he finally landed with his head banging roughly on the stone floor, Harry didn't care about any of that. All he could think about was the excruciating pain he was in. That was until he saw the black boots and robes of the potions master standing in the doorway.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry for the delay in updating. I hope this long chapter makes up for it. =) As always, thanks so much for the wonderful reviews and for adding me to your favorites. I can't tell you how motivating that is.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

At the sound of crashing and breaking glass, Severus rushed to the storeroom, ready to verbally rip the boy apart. "What in the bloody hell is going…" He stopped yelling the second he stepped foot into the room and spotted Harry.

Harry was lying on the ground close to the remains of one wall of shelves. The top four shelves from that side of the storeroom were covering most of Harry's body and one of his legs was bent at a grotesque angle. Bits of broken glass and potion ingredients were covering him with many pieces of glass piercing his skin. He had some cuts on his face, arms and hands and was bleeding from various locations.

With his heart almost pounding out of his chest, Severus quickly rushed over to Harry and started to remove the shelves and the larger pieces of broken glass from on top of him. "Harry! Are you all right?" he asked, his voice shaking with worry.

Harry didn't answer at first. He was too shocked. The man hadn't blown up at him at all about the destruction to the room. He was so sure the professor would be livid and screaming at him about the destruction. He really didn't understand it.

A few seconds went by while he was staring up at the professor in shock before he finally decided to answer. The second he took in a breath of air to speak, pain radiated from his lungs outward. Squeezing his eyes shut he let out a small sob. He was in too much pain when he breathed, so there was no way he was going to speak. He then made the mistake of trying to move a little, and as much as he didn't want to, he cried out in pain.

"Don't move." Feeling slightly panicked, Severus rapidly finished removing all the broken jars from around Harry. He knew he didn't have the expertise to see to Harry's injuries and needed to get the boy to the hospital wing and into Madam Pomfrey's care. He bent down and gently lifted Harry in his arms. "I need to get you to the Hospital Wing."

As Harry again cried out in pain at being moved, Severus quickly changed his mind. With the pain Harry was obviously in, the trek to the hospital wing would be far too long. And traveling through the floo was definitely not an option. "We'll go to my quarters instead. It's closer."

Harry didn't move or say anything. He just stared up at the potions master, his face beginning to turn pale because of the pain.

With Harry in his arms, Severus rushed out of his office to his quarters as quick as he could all the while trying not to jostle the boy and further aggravate his injuries.

When the two entered his quarters a minute later, Harry had part of Severus' robes gripped tightly in one of his fists while biting down on his lower lip. His breathing was shallow and he was extremely pale. And as much pain as he was in, he was not going to cry out again.

As Severus stepped out of his fireplace, he immediately headed to his bedroom and gently laid Harry down on the bed. He then returned to the fireplace to firecall the medi-witch.

Before Severus even returned to Harry's side, the medi-witch exited the floo and quickly walked to the bedroom, pulling her wand out of her pocket on the way. She almost gave a gasp the second her eyes landed on Harry. She hadn't seen him since he left the castle the end of his fifth year, so his change in appearance was a shock to her. Poppy kept her composure, however, and continued walking towards Harry. "What happened to you, Mr. Potter?" she asked as she began to perform her diagnostic.

Harry was in too much pain to answer, but moved his eyes to look at Severus, silently asking him to respond.

Severus met Harry's pained eyes and knew instantly he would have to explain. "I'm afraid I don't know all the details Poppy, but I found Mr. Potter on the floor in my storeroom with shelves and broken vials and jars on and around him. I'm assuming he fell from the ladder and brought down the shelves with him."

"Oh my," Madam Pomfrey stated after hearing what possibly happened. She turned to Harry. "Let me finish this up and we'll see how you stand Mr. Potter." She ran her wand up and down Harry's body three times while muttering some charms. After finishing her tests, she placed her wand away and looked to Severus then Harry then to Severus again in confusion. "Please excuse me for a few minutes. I need to check on something." She then flooed to the hospital wing.

While the medi-witch was gone, Severus retrieved an arm chair from the other side of the room and sat down next to the bed. He watched Harry wince while he moved his head on the pillow. "Does your head hurt?" At Harry's slight nod, Severus gently ran his fingers over the back of his head. Harry gave a small whimper as Severus hit a sensitive spot. "It looks like you hit your head in your fall. There's a pretty large lump back there."

Poppy came back to Severus' quarters two minutes later, her pockets laden with items that would be needed to assist Harry. "I'm afraid, Mr. Potter, that you have a broken right leg and right wrist, one broken rib, two bruised ribs and a slight concussion. Not to mention the numerous cuts on your arms, hands, face and head. Now I can mend the bones in the next half hour, but I'm afraid you will have to spend the next twenty four hours in the hospital wing for observation."

Those were the last words that Harry wanted to hear. He did not want to spend a second in the hospital wing. He already seemed to end up there every term more than any other student he knew. And to be watched over for a full day? That was pure rubbish. He would be fine once Madam Pomfrey mended his bones. He didn't know what the big deal was about needing to be watched.

Severus looked over at Harry and seeing the expression on his face, knew what the boy was thinking. "Mr. Potter, a person with a concussion needs to be watched for twenty four hours to be sure they don't lose consciousness and to assist in the event complications arise."

"That is right," agreed Madam Pomfrey. "Now, Mr. Potter, I have something else I need to discuss with you, but I feel you should be fixed up first." She pulled two vials out of her pocket and handed them one at a time to Harry. "You should be familiar with this one. It is a pain reliever. The second one is a bone mender. It will assist your bones with healing properly, but it won't completely fix them. You will need to take it easy for the rest of the week. I'll let these two take affect and I'll be back in five minutes to clean you up and heal all your cuts."

Severus stood up before the medi-witch could leave the room. "Poppy, if possible, I feel it would be more appropriate for me to clean up and heal Potter. I would like to be sure none of the ingredients that were destroyed entered into his bloodstream. Knowing what was destroyed, I'd be able to find evidence of them before you would." That was a lie of course. Severus knew none of the ingredients could really do any harm and that by healing the boy with magic, any ingredient which did make its way into his bloodstream would immediately be harmless.

Madam Pomfrey hesitantly agreed, wondering why the professor would want to take care of Harry. Especially considering she knew that her diagnostic would have told her that same information. "I guess that would be fine, Severus. It would give me more time to prepare for my leaving this evening for tomorrow's conference at St. Mungo's. When you are done, please firecall me. I'll be in my office."

"Thank you, Madam. Of course."

The medi-witch looked at Severus then Harry and figuring she did all she could currently do, left for the hospital wing.

Severus immediately went to his bathroom and returned with a bowl of soapy warm water, an empty bowl, a cloth, a pair of tweezers, and some healing cream. He placed the items on the night table and brought the chair he had been sitting in closer to Harry's side. He was about to grab the tweezers and start to remove the glass from Harry's face when the boy interrupted him.

"Professor, why don't you use your wand?" Harry was slightly confused. He couldn't understand why the professor was going to help him, and by the looks of it the Muggle way. Shouldn't the professor have just waited for the potions to take effect, drop him off at the hospital wing and return here to his quarters?

"I'm afraid that any type of magic used to heal you could possibly have an affect on the potion ingredients that you were covered with. I don't think any chances should be taken. Do you?"

"But Madam Pomfrey used her wand to run her diagnostic."

"That is a different kind of magic Mr. Potter."

Harry looked at Severus skeptically, but eventually nodded his head. "Okay."

Satisfied that there would be no more immediate questions, Severus picked up the tweezers and began to gently remove the glass from Harry's face, head, hands, and arms. Luckily the boy's clothing protected him from getting glass in the rest of his body. Severus worked as quickly and gently as he could. He wanted to remove all the glass as soon as possible so he could begin cleaning all the cuts. He had an extremely urgent need to touch the boy after finding him in the condition he was in back in the storeroom. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew his heart stopped the second he spotted Harry sprawled on the storeroom floor. It was a new and confusing feeling for him.

After what seemed like an eternity to Severus, but was only a few minutes, he was finally able to start cleaning the cuts to remove all the blood and potion ingredients. When he was done, he began rubbing in the healing cream.

Throughout the entire time, Harry alternated between looking at Severus' face and at the cuts the man was cleaning and healing on his arms and hands. He couldn't believe the man was being as gentle as he was with him. It was almost like the man cared about him.

No one ever seemed to take the care the professor was doing just now. Not even Madam Pomfrey. And the look on the man's face? He couldn't even describe it. He had never seen anyone look at him with that type of emotion before.

When Severus was almost finished, Harry finally spoke. "Thank you sir."

"You're welcome Harry." Severus finished rubbing the last bit of cream above Harry's left eye then lowered his hand to cup his cheek. "I trust you are not in any pain?"

"No, sir."

Severus finally removed his hand from Harry's cheek. The extended touch not going unnoticed by Harry.

"Good." Severus replaced the cap on the tube of cream and placed it on the table. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Just lie here and rest."

"Yes sir."

After watching Harry lay his head on the pillow and close his eyes, Severus stood up to firecall the medi-witch.

Once the professor left, Harry opened his eyes and looked around the room. He was in so much pain earlier he didn't even look to see where he was being taken. As he looked around the room, he spotted an old walnut dresser, two mismatched night tables, the arm chair the professor was sitting in, and a small table. As he spotted potion's books stacked on the far night table, he realized where he was. He was in the professor's bedroom and more importantly, was lying in the man's bed. He thought he would have been dumped on the floor or a table. He couldn't believe the potions master would let him into his room. Why did the man bring him to his bedroom? He wouldn't even allow Harry to _see_ his room at Spinner's End, let alone go inside.

*************

Poppy was going through some of her older research work and comparing it to Harry's diagnostic results. The change in Harry's appearance along with some of his results had looked very familiar and she wanted proof of what she thought was the cause.

At the sound of Severus's voice emanating from her fireplace, she looked up from the file she was studying. "I trust you are done Severus?"

"I am done."

"Good. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Severus nodded and removed himself from the fireplace. He went over to his living area and began pacing the length of the room.

Madam Pomfrey entered his quarters five minutes later. "Severus, did you find anything?"

Severus stopped his pacing and faced the medi-witch. "There has been no contamination."

"That is good news." She walked over to one of the chairs and sat down. "Why don't you take a seat? I've got a few things to discuss with you." Severus disregarded the offer, as weird as it was coming from a visitor in his own residence, and stood in front of the sofa. "Severus, I'm concerned about Mr. Potter."

"You should be," Severus interrupted.

Poppy huffed before explaining. "Not about his current injuries, though I am worried about them. I found some older injuries during my diagnostic; broken bones that didn't heal correctly along with signs of being malnourished in the past. With these findings, as well as my observations of the boy these past five and a half years, I'd say he's been abused. I hate to say it Severus, but it looks like he's been abused for quite a few years."

With those words, Severus sank down into the sofa behind him. His mind immediately went to a comment Harry made during the holidays when he told Harry about his childhood bedroom. _Our childhoods were not so different._ At the time Severus didn't really want to believe it, even with some of the boy's memories flashing through his mind. But now…now he had solid proof.

"Thank you for the information Poppy," he stated very quietly.

"I will meet with the Headmaster later tonight before I leave for St. Mungo's. He needs to know what has been going on with Mr. Potter."

"No!" Severus shouted. He wanted to be the one to talk to the headmaster. He had many things he needed to speak to him about, but needed to do it on his own time.

"Excuse me Severus?" Poppy questioned angrily. "I know you've got it in for the boy, but please be reasonable."

Severus turned his attention away from the medi-witch and looked at the flickering flames in his fireplace. Ten months ago, he would have agreed with Poppy. But now…now everything was different.

While replaying Poppy's words of abuse over in his head, he couldn't help the feeling of anger he had towards the Headmaster and the boy's relatives. Someone was going to have to pay. At least now Harry had someone to look out for his best interests, someone to rely on and depend on. As he sat there thinking about Harry, his gaze turned to his bedroom and his features unknowingly softened.

Noticing that Severus was looking towards his bedroom, seeing the expression now on his face and the feelings that seemed to be pouring out of him, Poppy could tell the man might actually care for the boy. Possibly more than a teacher would for a student. "Severus?"

At the sound of his name, Severus returned his attention to Poppy. "I'm sorry for my outburst, Poppy. Please do not relate any of this to the Headmaster. I will speak with him. It is my responsibility."

Poppy was slightly confused as to why it was Severus' responsibility, but one less thing she had to worry about tonight was better for her. "Very well." Poppy stood up. "Why don't we go talk with the patient? I would like to let him know the results of his diagnostic tests."

"Of course." Severus' shock over Harry being abused was slowly receding as he stood up. Unfortunately his reasoning was slowly coming back. And because of that, he then began to get angry at the medi-witch. "I've got a question to ask first," he stated very tensely. "Is this the first time you noticed the abuse?"

"Unfortunately it is, Severus. When Mr. Potter visited me in the past, I only tended to the bumps, bruises and scrapes he had. The only time he had a complete diagnostic was the beginning of his first year. I never had reason to run another complete diagnostic since then."

"Very well, I suppose." Severus wasn't satisfied with that answer, but let it go as another thought crossed his mind. "Poppy, I know you have a meeting to attend to and other patients as well, so I would like to relieve you of one patient. I will watch Potter down here tonight."

Madam Pomfrey looked at Severus in surprise. She hadn't expected the potions master to offer to watch Harry. As hard as she tried in the past to have him watch any of her patients, he always denied her request. "Thank you for the offer Severus. I will take you up on it if you're sure. But if I hear anything from Mr. Potter about you belittling him or harassing him in any way, I will go straight to the headmaster."

Severus wasn't all that surprised at her statement. With his past with Harry, it was fully understandable. "You have nothing to worry about."

"Am I correct in assuming you know what to watch for Severus?"

"I do. I have one request though. I would like a copy of Mr. Potter's medical results since he started Hogwarts."

"Of course, Severus. I'll get a copy prepared and have it sent here before I leave. I'll also make sure you have anything that might be needed for Mr. Potter's recovery. I feel it best that he have bed rest for the next two days. Before I take my leave, I will inform the headmaster. I should be back tomorrow evening if you'd like to bring Mr. Potter back here."

"That won't be necessary. I will continue to watch him."

Poppy nodded then headed toward Severus' bedroom. "Now how about our patient?" She began speaking the minute she entered the bedroom. "Now that you're all patched up Harry, I've got a few more things I need to discuss with you."

Harry nodded and pushed himself up so he was sitting against the headboard.

"After running my diagnostic I found something troubling that I had to compare with my last scan of you taken your first year here. First of all, there is evidence of broken bones which haven't healed properly. That would not have happened if you had broken anything while at Hogwarts or if they had gotten the proper attention. There is also evidence of malnourishment. Now these findings will have to be discussed with the headmaster. I'm sure he would want to speak with you also."

At hearing those words, Harry became pale again. He didn't want to discuss anything that happened over the summers with the Dursleys.

Upon seeing Harry's reaction, Madam Pomfrey gave a significant look to Severus. It was obvious Harry would need some reasoning as to why it had to be discussed with the headmaster. But now that fell on Severus, not her. She then returned her attention to Harry. "I also found some small scars on your lungs. Have you had the symptoms of a cold at all these past eight months?"

Harry nodded his head. "Yes. I had a cold in August with a cough that wouldn't go away."

"I see. I'm afraid that wasn't a cold you experienced back then."

"What?" Harry asked, beginning to feel slightly scared. He glanced quickly at the potions master, and was again wondering why he was still in the man's quarters.

Severus looked from Madam Pomfrey to Harry. He immediately knew what the medi-witch was about to reveal. And now it made sense why Harry wasn't getting better back before term started.

"Besides the scars, your entire physique has changed. Permanently. Am I correct in assuming you've also had pain throughout your body for the past few months?"

Harry nodded. "Yes. It hurts even when someone touches me. That was actually why I fell earlier. My leg gave out with a burst of pain. It happened a few weeks ago too. But I don't think I understand," Harry replied, looking more terrified by the second.

"Mr. Potter, this is actually more common than you would know. I don't know the reasoning why, but your parents placed a charm on you when you were just a baby to alter your appearance. The charm obviously wasn't a permanent one and your body has been taking on its real form for many months. Most of these types of charms take months to reverse and during that time, the child would experience cold-like symptoms and have pain throughout their body."

"But I…" Harry stopped talking the second the words hit him. With his mouth hanging open, he quickly looked at Severus. He then put two and two together.

"NO!" Harry got out of the bed and left the professor's bedroom, ignoring the pain and dizziness he was feeling.

The second Harry was out the door, Severus turned to Poppy. "Please send everything down here as soon as possible. Please keep everything to yourself. I will handle it all." He then immediately left the room in search of Harry. Poppy took that as her cue to leave, and though she had many questions, returned to the hospital wing.

Severus knew Harry hadn't left his quarters and because of his condition, didn't go far. He would probably be in too much pain. Even so, he had to find him. He knew Harry shouldn't be left alone, because of the concussion, but most importantly, because of what the boy just realized. With the way Harry had been acting since he read the letter two months ago, Severus knew he was still in denial.

************

Harry didn't know what to feel as he ran out of the bedroom. All he knew was that he needed to get away…far away. He needed to get outside to get some air. However, he didn't know the layout of Severus' quarters and turned left instead of right, and ended up in the small kitchen. As he was about to leave the kitchen, the pain and dizziness became too much for him. He slowly sunk down to the floor with his back against the wall. He pulled up the knee of his good leg, wrapped his arms around his leg and rested his forehead atop his knee, waiting for the dizziness and pain to pass.

He sat there in shock. He couldn't believe it. The medi-witch's statement meant that the letter was true. THE LETTER WAS TRUE! He didn't want it to be true. Did he? No, he definitely didn't. It wasn't right. The thought that Professor Snape was his…his…he couldn't even say the word. No!

As Severus walked quickly through his quarters searching for Harry, he wasn't sure what state he would find him in. But he knew it didn't matter. He needed to find the boy as soon as possible. When he came upon his kitchen, he spotted Harry sitting on the floor. He walked over and sat down next to him. "Harry. Are you okay?" he asked a few seconds later.

"No," Harry whispered not lifting his head. "Can I please be alone?" he asked gloomily into his knee. He really didn't want any company right now.

"I'm sorry Harry, but no. You are hurt and have a concussion. Even without the concussion or your injuries, I wouldn't leave you alone. I know what you just realized." Severus sat silently for another minute before speaking again. "I'm not sure I know what you're feeling at the moment, but everything will be okay. It will take time…believe me it will take time…but everything will be fine in the end."

Harry remained quiet. He didn't know what to think or say. His thoughts were currently one big mess.

Severus squeezed Harry's shoulder then stood up. "Come on now, you need to get off this cold floor and lie down. I've offered and Madam Pomfrey has agreed…you'll be staying down here for the next two days instead of the hospital wing."

At those words, Harry quickly looked up to the professor. Was the man serious? He actually didn't know which was worse, spending the night in the hospital wing or in the professor's quarters. He didn't want either one. "Please, can I just go back to my dorm room?"

Severus looked at Harry through narrowed eyes. "You need to be under observation tonight. Madam Pomfrey and I already explained this to you."

"Please sir. Can't Ron look after me? I'm sure he won't mind. I don't want to stay in the hospital wing or here."

"You need to be watched by someone who knows what to look for. Weasley couldn't even spot someone coughing."

Harry would normally have argued with the man about putting down his friend, but he wasn't in the mood. "How about Hermione then? If you tell her what to look for, she could watch me."

Getting slightly fed up, Severus grabbed Harry's arm to stand him up. "It's either the hospital wing or here, Potter."

If those were his only choices, the professor's quarters might be better. Anything had to be better than the hospital wing. The smell alone made him queasy. "Here then," he said dejectedly. He really just wanted to go up to his dorm room. Spending more time with the professor was not something he was looking forward to.

Severus dropped Harry's arm and led the way back to his bedroom. Harry followed with his head down. When they entered the bedroom, Severus motioned for Harry to get into bed. "I want you to lie down and rest for a while Mr. Potter." After Harry reluctantly lay down in the bed, Severus pulled the sheet and blanket out from under his legs and placed them on top of him. "I need to inform Professor McGonagall of your whereabouts for the next few days. I will be back shortly."

Harry didn't say a word. He just turned his head away from the professor.

*************

Severus returned to his quarters forty-five minutes later and went immediately to his bedroom. Finding Harry asleep, he went back out into the hall and closed the bedroom door behind him. On his way to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, Severus realized he really needed Harry to have his own bed. The boy could not recuperate in a transfigured bed. And Severus was not about to let Harry have his bed while he slept on a transfigured bed, or worse, the sofa.

For once Severus was glad that the headmaster had all the professor's private quarters furnished with a guest room. Unfortunately, when Severus moved in to Hogwarts, he sealed his up. He had urged the headmaster to remove the room, stating he didn't want to have unnecessary rooms or to have access to his quarters from two different locations. When the headmaster had the rooms added, he also added an entrance to them, stating guests may want to have their own entrance. The entrances and corridors leading to them were only known to the professors.

Pulling out his wand, Severus returned to the small hall and past his bedroom. He stopped in front of the blank wall eight feet away from his bedroom door and raised his wand. A minute and two incantations later, a door appeared in front of him. He opened the door and entered. Even though the room had been sealed up for many years, it was still pretty dusty and dirty. He raised his wand again to fix the room. When he was done, he stood in the doorway and admired his handy work. The room looked almost exactly like the room he gave Harry at Spinners End. He was about to leave when he took one last look and frowned. Something was missing. He gave his wand another wave. Finally satisfied, he closed the door.

Still wanting a cup of tea, Severus returned his wand to his robes and went to the kitchen. As he entered, he looked at the clock on the wall. It had been two hours since he left Harry. It was now time to check on him.

When he entered his bedroom, he luckily found Harry lying on the bed awake but with a look of extreme pain on his face. Glad the medi-witch left the required potions and Harry's medical file on the small table in his bedroom, he went over and grabbed a vial of pain relieving potion and returned to Harry's bedside. "Here," he said as he handed Harry the vial. "It's the pain relieving potion."

Harry sat up and gladly accepted the vial. He downed its contents immediately, and then sat there fidgeting with the empty vial.

"It's now time for me to check on you." Severus took the empty vial from Harry's fingers and returned it to the table. "I will be repeating this every two hours. As Madam Pomfrey and I stated earlier, you need to be watched for twenty four hours because of your concussion."

"Yes sir," Harry replied hesitantly, not knowing what was going to be happening.

"What is your name?" Severus began.

Dumbfounded, Harry sat there staring at the potions master. Was the man serious? Maybe he was the one that needed checking every two hours. "I'm sorry professor, I don't understand," he replied. The man knew his name.

At Harry's response and the expression on his face, Severus began to get a bit worried and began to panic. Did Harry acquire a head injury when he hit his head? He repeated the question. "What is your name?"

Harry continued to stare at the professor like he was crazy. It was then that he saw the worry and slight panic beginning to form in the man's normally cold eyes. The professor was serious. "Harry James Potter," he finally answered. Immediately he saw the worry and panic disappear slightly from the man's eyes.

With slight relief, Severus asked his next question. "And how old are you?"

Realizing these questions were part of the professor's checking on him, Harry decided to just answer the questions as they were asked. "Sixteen."

"Now what is today's date?"

"Um…it's February 5, 1997."

Severus let out a deep breath. So far, Harry was doing fine, but there were still twenty-two more hours to go. "Very good, Mr. Potter. Now go ahead and lie down with your hands at your sides. There are a few more things I need you to do." Severus removed the sheet and blanket that were covering Harry's lower body.

Harry did as he was told and looked up at Severus expectantly.

"I'd like you to move your right hand so you're reaching for the ceiling."

As Harry raised his right arm, he hissed as his bruised and broken ribs were jostled. The pain wasn't unbearable, but it still did hurt, even after downing the pain relieving potion just a few minutes ago.

Severus noticed Harry's reaction as he raised his arm. "I'm sorry about causing you pain, but this needs to be done. I'll remember to wait a half hour or so for the pain reliever to take effect before I ask you to do this in the future. Go ahead and lower your arm. Now raise your left the same way." Severus watched Harry's movement with a critical eye. The right arm seemed to rise slower, but it was probably caused by his bruised and broken ribs. It would be something he'd keep an eye out for in the future.

"Now I'd like you to lift your right leg a few inches off the bed."

Harry again hissed in slight pain. This was the leg that had been broken.

Looking at Harry in slight sympathy, Severus gave his final instruction. "Good. Lower your leg and repeat the same thing with your left leg." He watched Harry raise and lower his left leg. "Good. We're done for now."

Letting out a huge sigh of relief, Harry began to let his body relax, hoping that the stillness would ease his pain.

Severus walked over to the table and picked up Harry's medical file. "I'll let the pain reliever work for a bit and then I'll come get you. I've got a place set up for you to stay these next few days." Severus was almost out of the door before he turned around. "I'm going to make myself a cup of tea. Would you like one?"

"Yes please," Harry replied, still surprised his professor would go through so much trouble for him.

"Very well. Rest." Severus closed the bedroom door, leaving it slightly ajar, and headed to the kitchen. After making two cups of tea, he delivered one to Harry and returned to his living area with his tea and Harry's medical records in hand. He sat in front of the fireplace and opened the file, sipping his tea as he read the contents.

Becoming enraged at what he was reading, Severus roughly placed the file on the side table and stood up. "What the bloody hell did those Dursleys do to the boy these past fifteen years?" Wanting an answer, but knowing he'd have to wait, he went to his bedroom to see if Harry was ready to move to his own room.

He entered the bedroom as Harry finished the last sip of tea. "Do you think you're able to walk a little bit Mr. Potter?"

Harry jumped slightly at the professor's voice. He hadn't realized the man entered the room. "I think so." He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Slowly he stood up, wincing slightly as he put all his weight on his legs. His right leg was still very sore. He wasn't sure he was up to walking, but knew he had to.

"Your room will be right next to mine," Severus began, as Harry slowly reached the end of the bed. "You will be confined to bed rest for the next day. Once it has been determined you have no serious injuries resulting from your concussion and you are not in any pain, you will be allowed out of bed. I will show you around tomorrow evening."

Turning around at the bedroom door, Severus was surprised to see that Harry was still far from the door and when he placed any weight on his right leg, he squeezed his eyes shut and hissed in pain. "You are not required to make it to your room without help Mr. Potter. All you need to do is ask." Severus walked back to Harry and put his arm around him to help him walk to his room and to bed. It was then that he noticed Harry was shaking slightly. The pain and strain were obviously too much for the boy. He didn't understand why Harry would not ask for help or say he was okay when he wasn't.

When they reached Harry's bed, Severus pulled the blankets back and settled him in. "If you need anything or need me to help you at all, just say my name. I've set a charm to the room that will alert me whenever you say my name."

"Thank you sir."

Severus walked to the bedroom door and stopped just before leaving. He turned around and gave Harry one last look. "It's almost time for bed, but I left some things for you on the night table in the event you get bored. Good night."

Harry looked to the night table to see what was left for him. He spotted a few books and magazines. And sitting on top was his puzzle book. He turned toward the professor with a very small smile. "Thank you and good night, professor," Harry mumbled in reply. He was still slightly shaking, though it was beginning to lessen.

Severus swept out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaving it slightly ajar.

*************

A few minutes after the professor left, Harry slowly reached out and turned on the small lamp on the night table. As soon as his eyes adjusted, he looked around the room he was staying in. It looked almost like his room at Spinners End. This room was, of course, smaller, it didn't have the two window seats, fireplace and sitting area, and attached bathroom, but it looked just like his other room. Even the bedcoverings were the same. It was then that he noticed the tall slim package that was leaning against the foot of the bed.

With a few grimaces and hisses of pain, he had the package in his lap a short while later. Seeing an envelope on the outside, he opened that first. He pulled out the piece of parchment and began reading.

_Harry,_

_I know this gift can never replace the one you lost, but I hope one day you will look upon it with the same affection._

_You may also think you don't deserve this gift, but you do. You deserve the best there is. You always will._

_Enjoy!_

_Severus Snape_

Harry placed the note on the night table and cautiously unwrapped the paper and opened the box. His mouth fell open as he stared at the gift in the box. It was a Firebolt Deluxe, the newest model and currently the best racing broom available. He had read about them in Ron's January Quidditch magazine. They were very expensive racing brooms.

He carefully removed the Firebolt and ran his hand up and down the broom. He then placed it back in the box and set it on the floor out of the way. Spotting the letter on the night table, he picked it up and read through it again. Swallowing thickly, he returned the letter to the table, flicked off the light and lay back down.

With nothing else to occupy his time, Harry decided it would be best to go to sleep. But as he lay in the dark thinking over what happened since his detention earlier and what Madam Pomfrey told him just a few short hours ago, sleep wouldn't come.

He couldn't believe it. His parents had placed an appearance altering charm on him when he was a baby. No, that wasn't right according to the letter Professor Snape had him read. His mother placed the charm on him. Either way, the letter was true. That meant he actually had a living parent. But no, NO! It wasn't true. I couldn't be. He didn't want it to be true. He didn't need a parent. And Professor Snape as that parent.

When he was little, he remembered he used to lie in his cupboard and dream about having parents and what his life would be like. Whenever he was scared, sick or hurt, he always wanted a parent to make him feel better. He wanted to be cuddled and hugged for no reason at all. He wanted to be wanted. But as he grew up, those dreams died.

He didn't need a parent. He didn't need someone he could take his problems to, someone who would care for him, someone to love him, someone he could love. He lived without that for fifteen years. He didn't need it now.

Besides, the professor hated him. And he hated the professor. The man made his past five and a half years a living hell. Well, except for the various times he saved his life since starting Hogwarts…when he was given his bedroom at Spinners end…when he had his breakdown over Sirius…when he had his first real Christmas two months ago and was given a Christmas gift that actually belonged to the man…when the professor made sure he ate when he was skipping meals…when he didn't wake up from a vision alone…when the professor tenderly and gently tended to his injuries…when the professor made him a bedroom in his personal quarters that was just like the one at Spinners End…when the professor gave him the fastest broom currently being sold…

"NO!" he yelled. The man truly couldn't want to be anything more to him than his professor. And that was the only relationship he wanted with the man. He would never see the man as anything other than his professor. Plus, the way the man was treating him these past few months couldn't make up for the way he was treated for five and a half years. Those horrible years told the truth of how the professor felt about him.

However, as Harry turned onto his left side and rested his head on his left hand, he realized he was crying and wasn't able to stop.

************

After leaving Harry's room, Severus headed to his study. He had homework to grade before he went to sleep. As he finished the first years' homework, he realized there would be no way he could teach lessons tomorrow...not with having to check on Harry every two hours. He needed to speak with the headmaster. Glancing at the clock, he decided to write a quick note instead. He wouldn't make it back in fifteen minutes. To pass the time, he began grading the sixth years' homework.

Fifteen minutes later, Severus approached the door to Harry's room. Through the sliver of light shining into the room, he could see Harry lying on his left side facing the door. And he was crying. Not just a few tears, but full out crying. The only time he recalled seeing the boy like that was during the Christmas holiday. Knowing this, Severus was instantly on alert and rushed over to the bed, speaking on the way. "Harry? What is it? What hurts?" He was imagining the worst.

Startled and not wanting the professor to see him crying, Harry turned over as quickly as he could to face the other direction.

Severus turned on the lamp. "Harry?"

"Nothing's wrong," came Harry's strangled reply. He knew why the man was in the room and wanted him to leave immediately. "My name is Harry James Potter, I'm sixteen and I think it's still February 5, 1997. I'm fine. Please leave." With the thought of why he had to say those things and why he was saying them to the professor instead of the medi-witch, he then began crying a little harder.

Severus wasn't convinced the boy was fine. "Do you take me for a fool Mr. Potter?" he asked a little too harshly.

Harry flinched at the tone. This was the real professor finally showing himself after being absent a few months. And what was with the man calling him by his first name and then by his last name just a short while later?

Seeing Harry's reaction to his tone of voice, Severus mentally kicked himself. He sat down on the side of the bed. "The state you are in tells me you are not fine. Do you need a stronger pain reliever? You're not due for another dose for another four hours."

"I…" Harry stopped. He didn't want to tell the professor the truth, but he knew he couldn't lie. Not now. "I'm not in any pain. Can you leave now?"

"You know there is one more thing I need to have you do," he responded softly, waiting for Harry to turn onto his back. Without any movement from the boy, except for his hitching shoulders, he spoke again. "Turn over onto your back."

"I feel fine professor," Harry sniffled.

"I'll be the judge of that." Still seeing no movement from Harry, he leaned over and placed a hand on Harry's arm. "Harry," he began reassuringly, "just turn over and this will be over in a minute. Then I'll leave you alone."

Harry wiped a hand across his eyes and turned onto his back, keeping his head facing away from the professor. As he was given instruction on what to do, he tried his best to stop crying, but wasn't able to. He just wished he knew exactly why he was crying in the first place.

When he wasn't watching Harry raise and lower his arms and legs, Severus was intently studying Harry's face. He didn't look like he was in any type of pain so that didn't seem to be the cause of the boy's state. Knowing up until tonight Harry believed Lily's letter to false, he had a good idea that that was why the boy was crying. Though what his thoughts were, he had no idea. And if he were to admit it, he didn't think he wanted to know, lest he be disappointed.

When Harry finished the exercise, Severus stood up from the bed. "Very good. So far your concussion doesn't seem to be causing any complications." He watched sadly as Harry rolled back over to his side, and tried to curl up. "Get some sleep. I'll wake you when it's time for another check."

Without a word from Harry, Severus turned off the lamp and left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

Once the professor was out of the room, Harry rolled over on to his back. He wiped at his eyes again and just stared at the ceiling trying to calm down. He knew he was acting like a baby. Sixteen year olds were not supposed to cry.

Having finally calmed down fifteen minutes later, Harry realized he needed to use the restroom. Not wanting to bother the professor, and thinking he could find it on his own, he slowly got out of bed and made his way to the hallway. When he was almost to the door, his leg gave a spasm. Already in the condition he was, Harry lost his balance and fell down to the ground, landing on his broken right leg. He hit the door on his way down and it flung back into the wall. He sat there feeling completely helpless. While contemplating what to do now, a shadow loomed over him.

*************

Severus was getting ready to retire for the night when he heard Harry's door bang into the wall. He detoured to Harry's room and saw him sitting on the floor. "Are you all right?"

Harry looked up into the potions master's concerned face. "I was trying to go to the restroom."

"Why didn't you ask for help?"

"I thought I could make it on my own."

Severus began admonishing him. "Without knowing where it was? With knowing you need to be careful because you are healing? Do you want to end up doing more damage to yourself? You need to learn to ask for help."

"I…" Harry turned away as he felt his eyes begin to burn with tears again.

"Come on." Severus reached down and gently pulled Harry to his feet. Once the boy was standing, he put his arm around him and started to help him walk to the restroom.

They only went a few steps before Harry turned slightly and grabbed tightly on to Severus' arm. Landing on his right leg caused the pain to return. "I can't…it hurts too much. Stop please."

Severus stopped walking and turned towards the teary-eyed boy. "It seems you've aggravated your injuries." Without a second thought, he lifted Harry into his arms and started walking towards the restroom. "When we get back to your room, I'll give you another dose of the bone mending potion. And when it's time for the pain reliever, I'll up the dosage."

Once in the man's arms, Harry felt absolutely mortified at having to be carried to the restroom.

A few seconds later, they arrived. Severus pushed the door all the way open with his foot and walked in. When he was by the sink, he set Harry down. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Harry did his business and while waiting for the professor to return to carry him back, he stood in front of the sink, using the counter as support, and stared at his reflection in the mirror, though not really seeing anything including the tears in his eyes. He was wondering if this was what it was like to have a parent care for you.

Severus knocked on the bathroom door a minute later, startling Harry. "Harry, are you ready to go back to your room?"

"Yes," Harry sniffed, and through the mirror watched the door open.

Still surprised to see the tears in Harry's eyes, he approached the boy and gently lifted him into his arms, thinking the tears were a sign that he was still in pain.

Once the professor had him in his arms, Harry immediately turned his body into his and hid his face in the man's chest. At that moment he realized the answer to his thought in the bathroom had to be yes. It was then the tears that had been threatening to fall began their decent.

Before even leaving the restroom, Severus felt wetness on his chest. He looked down and saw that Harry was crying again. "Everything will be all right Harry," he said quietly.

At those words, Harry wrapped his left arm around the man as best he could and gripped the back of his shirt.

When they entered Harry's room, Severus sat Harry on the bed. Once released, Harry immediately dropped his head into his hands and continued crying.

Severus sat down next to him and began to rub his back. "Where are you hurting Harry? You should not be in this much pain."

The second Harry felt the comforting touch his tears began to fall faster. He tried his best to answer through them. "I, I'm not hurting that much. I'll be okay until the next dose of pain reliever."

"You don't look like you're not in that much pain." He continued to rub Harry's back while he spoke. "If it's not the pain, what is wrong? I can't help you if you don't tell me."

Harry shook his head in his hands. "It's nothing." He then took a few deep breathes in attempt to stop crying.

"It is something if it's got you in this state." Severus took hold of one of Harry's hands and lowered it down to his knees.

Harry finally did the same with his other hand a few seconds later, but kept his head down. His tears had almost stopped. There was no way he could tell the professor what was wrong. He couldn't even figure it out himself.

"Please look at me," Severus almost all but pleaded. Getting no response, Severus gently lifted Harry's chin so the two were looking at each other. "What is wrong Harry?"

When Harry made eye contact, he still couldn't get over seeing the professor look at him with worry and concern. This made his tears return, and though he willed them not to fall, a few did.

Seeing the tears, Severus, without a thought running through his head, gently wiped them away with his thumb. This caused more tears to fall.

Harry finally shook his head in response. "I don't know what's wrong. I can't explain. It's something I need to work out on my own."

"Very well," Severus said, slightly disappointed. He placed a hand on Harry's arm. "If you need someone to talk to, I'll be here." He gave Harry's arm a pat then stood up. "You need to take another dose of the bone mending potion." He grabbed the vial of potion he placed on the night table just a few minutes before and handed it to Harry. Harry downed it and gave the vial back. "Now lie down, Harry. You'll never get any rest sitting up." Once Harry was lying in bed, he pulled the blankets up to cover him. "Sleep." After Harry closed his eyes, he left the bedroom for his own, knowing he'd be back in about an hour.

*************

When the potions master left his bedroom, Harry laid there with his eyes closed, trying to figure out what was going on with him. He knew it had to do with the truth of the letter, but he couldn't pinpoint exactly what he was feeling. He decided he wouldn't sleep until he figured it out.

Severus returned to Harry's room an hour later to check up on him. When he walked into the bedroom, he was slightly surprised to see that Harry was awake. Or, actually trying to stay awake if he really looked at the boy.

Harry answered the necessary questions without any problems, except for the date. It was now February 6. During the check on Harry's arms and legs, Severus watched Harry yawn quite a bit. The boy was obviously tired, but was trying to stay awake. "Harry, you need to sleep. You will heal faster if you get some sleep. I know you're thoughts are probably running rampant in your head right now, but please sleep. When the morning comes, you'll have a clearer head and will be able to make sense of everything."

Knowing the professor was right, Harry nodded, turned onto his left side and closed his eyes.

*************

Two hours later, a very tired potions master entered Harry's bedroom. He was glad to see the boy was asleep and hated having to wake him. But unfortunately, it was necessary. He turned on the lamp and called the boy's name. Getting no response, he gently shook Harry's shoulder then called his name.

Harry's eyes slowly blinked open. "Huh?"

"I'm sorry to wake you but I need to check on you."

"M'kay," he responded groggily.

Severus went through the list of questions and even added a new one in. Satisfied with the answers, he moved on to check the movement in Harry's arms and legs. Harry was beginning to fall back asleep between movements. "Come on Harry, wake up. Only a few more seconds."

"I'm tired."

"I know you are. Now finish with your left leg and you can go back to sleep." Glad Harry's movement seemed to be normal, as normal as a tired boy's could be, he turned off the lamp. He then ran a hand through Harry's hair and returned to his own bed.

This scene was repeated two more times during the late night and early morning.

* * *

I'm so sorry this took so long to update. This chapter was almost complete when I put up chapter 23, however, I've been having some health issues and wasn't able to finish the story until quite recently. I hope the length makes up for the delay.

Thanks to all of you who left reviews and added me to your alerts. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me that you enjoy my fic.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Severus pulled the covers over Harry and put out the bedside lamp. "Because you've had to get up throughout the night, you may sleep longer this morning."

Still feeling incredibly exhausted, all Harry did was close his eyes and snuggle deep under the covers, glad he was done answering questions for another few hours.

After leaving Harry's bedroom, Severus sat at the kitchen table drinking his morning cup of coffee a while later. Certain that since Harry finally knew the truth about them, he was sure he would now want to see the memories. Taking one last sip of coffee, he brought his mug to the sink and went to his bedroom. He retrieved the heart-shaped bottle from the top drawer of his bedside table and sat on the edge of his bed. He withdrew his wand from his robes and sat there staring at the bottle in his left hand. It was unbelievable. The small bottle in his hand actually changed his life. He would have never thought that could happen and with who it happened with. It had brought both happy and painful memories. Some he only believed would appear in his dreams.

Severus reluctantly brought his wand to his temple and removed his memories and switched them with his altered ones. Once the real memories were safely stoppered in the bottle, he closed his eyes. He felt extremely hollow inside and if he were honest with himself, slightly nervous. He wasn't sure what he would feel around Harry now. Sure, he knew and remembered Harry was his son, but that was right now. How would he feel in the future if Harry wasn't in a hurry to see the memories and he had to live with his altered ones? Would his hate for the boy return?

Deciding to worry about that when the time came, Severus stood up and left the bedroom. Knowing Harry would still be asleep for a few hours and that it was a little while before breakfast was to be served, Severus figured he'd pay the headmaster a visit. The old man needed to know about how Harry was treated at his relatives' house.

As he made the trek up to Professor Dumbledore's office, he knew he had to act like he always did concerning Harry, as hard as it would now be. He did not want the man to know about their new relationship. If he had it his way, Dumbledore would never know; though that was actually unrealistic. After muttering the latest password to the stone gargoyle, Severus walked up the spiral steps and knocked on the office door waiting to be called in. The door began to open and as soon as Severus stepped foot into the office, the headmaster began speaking. "Good morning Severus. What a surprise. It's not often I get visitors before breakfast. Come have a seat. How are you doing?"

"I'm sorry Albus," Severus began as he slowly walked toward the headmaster's desk, "but I don't have much time for pleasantries. I need to get back to my quarters. That is actually what I've come to discuss. As Poppy mentioned to you last night, your Golden Boy," he said with a sneer, "is unfortunately residing in my quarters against all my protests to the medi-witch. The clumsy brat needs to be monitored today and is confined to bed rest tomorrow in my quarters as Poppy so conveniently had to attend a conference at St. Mungo's.

"Ah, and how is Harry doing?" Dumbledore interrupted.

"As well as can be expected for a Potter."

"Severus, now that was…"

Severus began speaking over the headmaster. "As I was saying, since I am required to baby sit, I will not be able to teach my classes today and tomorrow."

"Of course my boy. I will go ahead and take your classes. You have nothing to worry about."

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Nothing to worry about…sure. The old man would more than likely have every single one of his classes making lemon drops and other assorted sweets. But he had no other choice in the matter. "Thank you, Albus."

A minute of silence went by as Severus watched the spinning orbs on a shelf behind the headmaster, deciding how he would bring up his next topic.

"I have something else I need to discuss with you Albus. Since Poppy left before she could speak with you in detail, I am forced to bring the subject to your attention. As little as I care about it." He then began pacing behind the empty chairs in front of him. "During the past fifteen years, have you ever checked up on Potter while he was living with his relatives?"

"I had no reason to, Severus. I left Harry in the loving hands of his mother's sister, Petunia. I knew she and her husband would treat Harry like their own son."

"Loving hands? That's what you call it?" Severus was trying to quell his anger. He couldn't have the headmaster knowing how much he was affected by what he was discussing.

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Severus."

Severus stopped his pacing and placed his hands on the back of one of the empty chairs, gripping it tightly. "During her diagnostic on Potter, Poppy came across some startling results. For starters, the boy is malnourished and has been for many years. He also has many old injuries; including scars, bruises and previously broken bones."

Dumbledore smiled at Severus. "All signs of having been a rambunctious child growing up. Surely you remember having the same as well. All boys sport those injuries while growing up."

At the headmaster's words, Severus saw red. So the headmaster was in denial and thought his injuries were also because of playing and not of abuse? "Well then, how do you explain the malnourishment, headmaster?"

"That is easy, Severus. As I've witnessed here at various occasions, once children are caught up in something, they sometimes forget to eat. It is completely understandable. I find myself missing some meals when–"

"Albus, this conversation is not about you," Severus coldly interrupted. "It is about a child who has been physically and possibly mentally abused since being placed in the _loving_, as you call it, hands of his relatives fifteen years ago. You can sugar coat all the results Poppy finds, but the truth is, Potter was abused and is still being abused by his relatives. Poppy's results show that almost all of his injuries could not have been caused by merely playing and his malnourishment not by skipping a meal here or there." Severus began his pacing again. "What do you plan to do with Potter for the remaining holidays while he is attending Hogwarts?"

"What is it to you, Severus?" Dumbledore narrowed his eyes and looked at Severus over his spectacles. "You have never had an interest in anything related to Harry before."

"I still don't have any interest in the Bloody-Boy-Who-Lived," Severus spat. "I am just against any child, even Potter, being housed in an abusive environment."

"Harry will of course go back to his aunt and uncle's house during the holidays. He needs to go back for protection until the Dark Lord has been defeated. You already know this Severus."

Severus was extremely irate at this point. "Go back for protection? What protection? You're sending the boy back to his abusers. What kind of protection is that?" Severus yelled.

Dumbledore stood up behind his desk. "His aunt and uncle are not abusing him Severus."

Severus stopped pacing and faced the headmaster. "Just like my father wasn't abusing me?" Severus asked quietly then quickly left Dumbledore's office. This wasn't over yet, but he now had a desperate need to see Harry immediately.

He entered his quarters out of breath. He had rushed down from the headmaster's office. Along the way, he ran into some students on their way to the Great Hall who were looking at him strangely; it wasn't often students saw the man almost at a run. He glared at them until they ran down the corridor and he himself almost ran the rest of the way to his quarters.

After closing the door behind him, he hurried into Harry's room. The boy was still asleep. He sat down on the side of the bed and began to gently run his hand through Harry's messy hair. "The headmaster is as blind as always and has now let both of us down. I will _not_ let you down as well. I promise you will never go back to the Dursleys'. I will also make the old fool see the truth." Severus continued to run his hand though Harry's hair a few more minutes before sitting back and watching him sleep.

* * *

Harry snuck a hand out from under the blankets and rubbed at his eyes. He blinked a few times trying to focus and then spotted a dark blob to his left. Reaching for his glasses, he slipped them on his nose and looked to his left again. Severus was sitting in the desk chair next to his bed. The man's head was leaning against the back of the chair, elbows were on the arms with his hands clasped in his lap, his face was completely relaxed and he was fast asleep. He looked at the man in confusion. He couldn't understand why the professor was in the room with him. Unfortunately he couldn't dwell on that thought long. He had another urgent matter that needed attention. "Professor." When the man didn't wake, he called again a little louder and with a little more urgency. "Professor Snape."

Severus awoke with a start and cringed when he moved his neck. His eyes immediately found Harry's as he rubbed at his sore neck. "What is it? Are you in pain?"

"No sir," Harry replied shaking his head, his face turning a little pink. "I just…erm…I need to use the restroom is all. And I thought after last time…," he couldn't finish his sentence. He was feeling mortified again.

"There is nothing to feel embarrassed about Harry." Severus stood up and stretched. "Come on, go ahead and stand up."

Harry threw the blankets off of him and stood up in front of the potions master, wobbling slightly. Severus immediately wrapped his right arm around Harry's waist. As soon as Severus' arm was around him, Harry wrapped his left arm around the man. The two then slowly walked to the restroom.

After returning to the bedroom a few minutes later, Harry crawled back in bed and sat against the headboard while Severus returned the desk chair to its proper place. He then turned to face the bed. "I'll be back in a few minutes with some breakfast and your potions."

Severus returned a few minutes later with a tray laden with breakfast foods for the two of them and potions for Harry. They ate their fill and half an hour later Severus left Harry's bedroom with the now empty tray in hand and a promise that he would returned in an hour.

* * *

Severus pulled out the desk chair, for what seemed like the hundredth time since last night, placed it in front of Harry and sat down. He studied him intently before he began speaking. "Harry, there are a few things we need to talk about."

Not liking what he knew might be brought up, Harry looked at Severus with slight worry.

"You may be surprised to hear this from me, but I know you don't like being left in the dark about things concerning you."

At this Harry gave a slight nod, trying to hide his surprise. He knew that others were aware of this fact, but hadn't the slightest idea Professor Snape would know.

"That is why I'm letting you know that early this morning, I went to the headmaster to discuss what was revealed last night from Madam Pomfrey's diagnostic on you."

"WHAT?" Harry's eyes grew wide and he began to feel angry. He was almost tempted to jump off the bed, but knew what that would lead to. He did not want anyone knowing how he had been treated by his relatives. Now he would be looked at with pity. Not to mention the fact that if people found out he couldn't stop the abuse from his Muggle relatives, they would in no way expect him to be able to defeat the Dark Lord. "You have no right to discuss what happ…supposedly happened to me with anyone."

"I have an obligation to report any abuse I discover."

"You're obligation seems to make my life as bad as possible."

Though Harry responded softly, Severus heard the comment perfectly well and turned cold eyes at the boy. "Every professor in this castle, Potter, has an obligation to report any abuse discovered. I am no different."

Harry bristled at being called Potter. Until that moment, he forgot how long it had been since the professor had actually called him that and in that tone. It actually hurt to be called like that. He tried to brush those feelings aside as he continued with his argument. "But that's…" Harry began before Severus interrupted.

"I know you are angry with me but I could not and would not sit back and do nothing." As Severus watched Harry looking angrily at his blanket, he thought back to when he was in almost the same situation as Harry. His voice was definitely softer when he began speaking again. "Harry, besides you, myself, Madam Pomfrey and the headmaster, no one else knows. And no one else _will_ know unless you are the one to tell. I would never dream of betraying you by letting this information slip." At Harry's skeptical look, Severus continued. "Have you heard of anyone else knowing about the memories that I have seen through your Occlumency lessons?"

He let that thought hang in the air, hoping Harry would know he was telling the truth. If Severus was the type of person Harry thought he was, the whole school would have immediately known about the embarrassing and painful memories he had seen through Harry's lessons. He would have used them to ridicule him endlessly.

Anger receding slightly at Severus' statement, Harry looked up to the potions master. "What did Dum…Professor Dumbledore say when you told him? I'm assuming he wants to speak with me?"

Severus' lips formed a tight line and he glared at Harry as he recalled the headmaster's response to being told about the abuse.

Seeing the look on the professor's face, Harry shrunk back towards the far side of the bed and started to lie down. "I'm sorry I asked," he said softly.

Not really seeing Harry's reaction, Severus continued. "Let's just say the headmaster and I don't see eye to eye."

Harry gulped audibly. The professor and headmaster didn't agree? Well, he didn't think that was so much a surprise. Dumbledore always had his best interests in mind…well except for the last year or so…and Snape always hated him and never believed a word he said. Why should the topic of his abuse be any different? He now wondered what the headmaster was going to do. He started feeling slightly happy at the thought that maybe he could live with the Weasley's. That would be great…

Severus broke him out of his thoughts. "I will not sit idly while the headmaster sends you back to your relatives."

At those words, Harry snapped his head up to stare at the potions master. What? That totally went against everything he just thought about the two men. Then the words sunk in. The headmaster obviously didn't have his best interested at heart. If he did, there would be no way he would be sent back to his relatives. Now nobody cared what happened to him. The professor would probably push to have him sent to an orphanage. "Sir, what does that mean for me now?"

At Harry's sad looked, Severus' face softened. "It is nothing to concern yourself with at this moment. We will discuss this the closer it gets to the end of term." He wanted to put things in place before he spoke to Harry about his plans and he hoped his tone of voice brooked no arguments. Luckily it worked.

"Yes sir," Harry said dejectedly. "But you will let me know what's going on," he stated.

Severus raised an eyebrow, daring the boy to continue ordering him around; but didn't respond. A few seconds later, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to prepare for their next topic of conversation. He wasn't sure who it would be harder on, him or the boy. This was one thing that did need to be discussed, but he wasn't at all comfortable with it. It would mean divulging a lot of personal information.

Feeling slightly miserable, Harry had begun playing with his blanket in the silence now wishing he was anywhere but in that bed and that he was anyone but himself.

Finally able to continue with the next topic of conversation, Severus broke the silence. "We now need to discuss an important matter that came up near the end of our stay when we were at home over the Christmas holiday."

At the words _we were at home_, Harry stilled his hands and just stared at the blanket. He continued listening to the professor while his thoughts were on those four words.

"Do you remember the conversation we had while sitting on the swings at the park near the end of the holiday?"

Keeping his head down, Harry nodded. Surprisingly, he did remember that conversation and what his thoughts were the entire time he was at the park. The slightly happy feeling he just had moments ago from the words 'we were at home' vanished instantly.

"Good. Now I want to clear up some of your beliefs. I know you think I hated you since the day you arrived at Hogwarts. That is true…"

Harry interrupted before Severus could finish. "Of course it's true! And because it is true, I know what you're capable of doing to me." Feeling extremely angry, he looked to the professor. "For example, this huge joke you've been pulling on me for the past few months. You may think I believe it, but I don't. I DON'T!" He began to feel a prickling in his eyes. "I know you conned Madam Pomfrey in to playing along. What did you bribe her with?" he questioned, his voice slightly shaking. "Leave me alone. We have nothing to discuss." He slid down under the covers and lay on his side, back to Severus.

Severus looked at Harry sadly. The boy was obviously still partially in denial. And as much as Harry didn't want to talk Severus was not about to back down now. He already held off on this conversation once, he would not do it again. "As much as you want me to leave, Harry, I will not do that. You can lay facing away from me, but we will have this conversation."

Like expected, Harry gave no response. Severus took a breath in preparation for what he was about to reveal, as hard as it would be for him. "To start, I am going to finish the sentence you wouldn't let me finish. I know you think I hated you since the day you arrived at Hogwarts. That is true, but it also is false. I admit though, there was more hate." He clasped his hands in his lap and stared at them as he began to explain. "Every day since the second you arrived at Hogwarts, you reminded me of what I didn't have and would never have. You were the son of my one true love and her husband, a man I loathed. Your father, James, in a sense stole Lily, your mother, away from me and in doing so stole all my dreams as well. The minute I saw you, I hated you for everything you stood for. And the fact that you looked so much like James and only had Lily's eyes, added to my feelings towards you."

"When I had you in class for the first time, I realized I'd be able to pay James back, through you, for what he did to me. It was something completely childish, but I couldn't help it. Deep down I knew I was being unfair. You never did anything to me unless provoked by myself. But I couldn't get over the fact that you looked exactly like James. The headmaster told me many times that you weren't James, but I would never see that. I now know I was stupid to never see you for whom you really are. For that I am truly sorry."

"My feelings towards you, however, were an added bonus for my role as spy. If you didn't look like James, I would still have to show hate and dislike towards you. I could not be nice to you. I guess you can say a small part of my attitude and actions towards you were to protect you from the Death Eaters. Even though we weren't sure whether the Dark Lord was indeed alive, you were always in danger from his followers. If ever any of them found out you trusted me for anything, I would have been expected to deliver you to them immediately."

Severus then stopped speaking. He had told himself he would never admit what he was about to say, but knew it was needed. "And I made a promise to your mother, after she passed away, and to the headmaster that I would do everything in my power to keep you safe while attending Hogwarts."

"All these thoughts and feelings though, Harry, were a result of the altered memories you mother had given me. If I would have known you were my son earlier, I would not have treated you as I had. After hearing all this, I do hope you that you would view my real memories. It would explain so much more that I can't currently explain. And I also hope you know that what I felt these past five years is not what I feel anymore. I hope you've been able to see that over these past few months." Severus finally stopped talking and looked towards the bed, hoping Harry had turned to face him. That wasn't the case. "I want you to be a part of my life Harry, but only if you want it. I will definitely be disappointed and…heartbroken if you refuse, but I will not force it in any way if it is not what you want. I will, however, make sure you never return to your relatives."

Harry, at first, didn't want to listen to anything the professor had to say. But with nothing else to do, he did listen. And as Severus finished, he was incredibly angry and upset at the same time. It seemed no one had wanted him around. He hadn't felt it in a long time, but as he heard everything the professor had to say, he again wished he'd never been born or had been killed with his parents. He curled himself further into a ball under the covers and wrapped his arms around his stomach.

"I'll leave you now to think about what I said," Severus said quietly as he stood up from the chair and returned it to the desk. He then returned to Harry's bedside. He noticed that Harry was trying to comfort himself like he'd witnessed on a few occasions. Wanting to offer him comfort, but knowing that it probably wouldn't be wanted at this point in time, Severus just walked to the door. "I'll be back in a couple of hours to check on you and bring lunch." He headed directly down to the living room and sat in front of the fireplace to watch the flames dance and try to clear his head.

As soon as Harry heard the bedroom door close, he rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling. Maybe the professor was telling the truth. He doubted the man would have been so open if it wasn't the truth. He did sound truthful and sincere. Though an extremely small portion of his thoughts still told him it was all a joke.

* * *

Happy New Year! Again, I'm sorry my updates have been slow in coming. I can't believe the writers block I have. Hopefully that will end soon. Thanks to all who have been reviewing and adding me to their alerts. It means a whole lot!


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Remus walked into his sixth year's Defense classroom Thursday afternoon and stood at the front surveying his students. Amidst the quiet chattering, his eyes landed upon an empty seat next to Neville towards the front of the classroom. Thinking maybe the student, Harry, was talking with his friends, he swept his eyes over the rest of the room. Not seeing the boy anywhere he began to feel slightly worried. Without being able to acquire any answers at the moment, Remus began the day's lesson.

Fifty minutes later, the students began gathering their belongings to leave. "Mr. Weasley, Ms. Granger, please stay behind." Remus called out.

Ron and Hermione walked to Remus' desk looking at each other in question.

As soon as the last student left the room, Remus pulled his wand out, closed the door then began speaking. "I noticed that Harry wasn't in class today. Has he attended any other classes today?"

"No. We haven't seen him since last night at dinner," Hermione answered, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

"He had a detention with Snape," Ron supplied, "and he never came back. I bet that git did something to him."

Hermione huffed at Ron. "Ron. You know perfectly well that Professor Snape wouldn't do anything to hurt Harry." However, she didn't sound all that convinced.

"Where have you been these past five and a half years? Snape's been after Harry since first year."

Remus, who had been watching Ron and Hermione with a slight hint of amusement, broke the two out of their argument before it could get any more heated. "Did either of you ask Professor McGonagall about Harry's disappearance?"

Hermione, having been glaring at Ron, calmed down and turned back to Remus. "We did ask her. She said…"

"She wouldn't tell us anything," Ron interrupted.

"Ronald!" Hermione exclaimed exasperated and looked back to Remus with an apologetic smile. "Sorry professor. Professor McGonagall only said that Harry wouldn't be returning to the Gryffindor tower until probably Friday and to classes on Monday. We're really worried about him. The only times in the past when he's been gone this long has been when he's hurt and in the hospital wing recovering."

Ron had finally calmed down. "We tried to see if he was in there last night, but we didn't get an answer. We weren't even allowed inside."

"I wouldn't worry too much about Harry" Remus consoled, though he felt the opposite. "I'm sure he's fine."

"Not if the last person to see him was Snape," Ron yelled hotly.

Remus ignored Ron's outburst and looked to Hermione. "I will see what I can find out and I'll send you a note once I do."

"Thanks Professor Lupin," said Hermione.

"Yea, thanks," followed Ron.

"You're welcome. Now get out of here and enjoy the rest of your day," Remus said with a smile and a wave. Now knowing where to begin, Remus went back to his office and floo-called the Gryffindor Head of House for answers.

Standing up and stretching out his back ten minutes later, he scribbled a quick note to Hermione and left his office in search of the potions master. As he passed the main entrance to the castle, he spotted the professor's billowing black robes about to descend one of the staircases and yelled out. "Severus!"

Severus stopped and turned around with a deadly glare. "I do not appreciate being yelled at through the corridors like I'm your team's seeker about to be hit by a bludger in a game of Quidditch, Lupin," he hissed.

"I'm sorry Severus," Remus responded now almost standing next to the man. "I just needed to get your attention before I lost sight of you. I was told Ha…Mr. Potter," he amended quickly as a handful of students walked past them, "was injured last night while serving a detention with you."

Seeing more students headed in their direction, Severus looked pointedly at Remus. "We best finish this conversation someplace private." He led the way down to his office.

Severus sat at his desk and looked down to the journal he left open during the last time he was in there as he decided how much information to share. Remus took one of the chairs on the opposite side of the desk and sat down as well.

In the ensuing silence Remus raised his eyebrows and looked at the potions master in expectation. "Well? Are you going to enlighten me? What happened to Harry? Why weren't his friends allowed in the hospital wing?"

"As Minevera told you, he was hurt in his detention last night." He closed the journal and finally looked at Remus. "Harry was gathering ingredients to re-brew the potion from yesterday's class. The charm Lily placed on Harry's appearance has been vanishing, as you well know, and its effects caused him to fall while coming down the ladder. He brought all four shelves and all their contents with him. He was too injured to be brought all the way up to the hospital wing so I brought him to my quarters. He has been there since last night and will be until I see fit he is well enough to return to Gryffindor tower."

"Is he okay?" Remus asked, seeing the extreme worry showing on the man's face; an emotion that wasn't there before they entered his quarters and one he didn't think he ever saw on the man's face before.

"He is fine. Now. He has several bruised ribs, a broken rib and leg, a huge lump on his head, cuts and bruises on quite a bit of his body, and a concussion."

"Can I see him?"

"I think it would be best to wait until he is released to Gryffindor tower. Because of the potions to heal him and with having to be woken up every two hours because of his concussion, he is in dire need of rest. I doubt he'd even be awake for more than a few minutes until Friday."

Remus looked at Severus with disappointment. After hearing what happened, he really wanted to see Harry, but at the same time, didn't want to hinder the boy's recovery. "I understand. Could you please tell him I said hello and I hope he is feeling better soon?"

Severus nodded. He was about to dismiss Remus when he thought of one more important thing. "Oh Lupin. It's best if you know that Harry has finally realized the truth."

"I don't understand." He looked at Severus confused.

"I think you know that Harry has been in denial with he and I being father and son," he said sadly.

Remus thought back to one of the conversations he had with Harry a few weeks ago. "What makes you say he is in denial? Hasn't he seen your memories? I'm going to assume that you would offer Harry a chance to see them."

"I have offered and he has yet wanted to view them. I called Poppy down to my quarters last night to look over Harry. She had to run a complete diagnostic on him and seeing some things that seemed odd, she compared them to his results from his first year. She was able to tell that there was a charm placed on his appearance. She told all of this to Harry. Harry's reaction was…let's just say it would have been a lot different if he wasn't in denial."

"After he found out, what did he do?" Remus was curious as to what type of reaction Harry would have had.

"I would rather not share that information," Severus stated coldly. This was one thing he wanted to keep to himself. In truth, Harry's reaction hurt him more than he could have imagined.

Remus studied the potions master for a few minutes. He and Severus were enemies back when they were in school and it was well known that Severus still carried a lot of that hate. Remus could admit he still had some hate for the man as well. But one thing he knew, somehow, was that Severus would never intentionally hurt Harry anymore and would do anything in his power to make the boy happy. It was obvious the man was concerned for and cared about Harry with the way he was talking about the boy. Remus smiled and looked at the professor. "Take good care of him Severus." He then stood up and left the potions master to stare at the closed door.

* * *

Harry fidgeted again while looking at the clock on the side table as he sat on his bed in Severus' quarters Friday morning. He had only been sitting there for a little over an hour, but it felt like an eternity. He tore his eyes from the clock and looked around the room however the clock pulled his eyes back to it a few seconds later. He gave a huff and leaned his head back against the headboard with his eyes closed.

Before leaving to teach his first year's potion class that morning, Severus told him to stay in bed until he returned from the class. He didn't want Harry wandering around until he had a chance to be sure his leg was healed. As much as he had begged the professor after eating breakfast, Severus wouldn't even think about checking his leg. The man wanted to wait until later that night to give the leg a few more hours to heal before deciding whether or not Harry could return to Gryffindor tower. Harry did bring up Madam Pomfrey's comments from the night he fell, but the potions master wouldn't even listen. He should actually have been up in the tower last night, but because of his fall the first night in the professor's quarters, he aggravated his broken leg and needed at least another day of rest.

Harry looked at the clock again as he continued with his fidgeting; only five more minutes.

With all his attention on watching the second hand slowly round the clock, Harry jumped when the bedroom door creaked opened.

Severus pushed the door open and stood in the door way, surveying Harry. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay I guess." Harry pulled the blanket up to his waist and started smoothing it out over his legs. "Though I am a bit bored." He cautiously looked up to the potions master.

"If you feel up to it, I will allow you into the living room."

Harry began to jump out of the bed.

"Slow down. You don't want to stay here any longer do you?"

"No way!" Harry exclaimed.

Severus flinched slightly and tried to ignore the feeling those words brought him.

After Harry was seated on the sofa a few minutes later, Severus walked to the kitchen table and grabbed a stack of books and parchment. "I don't want you to get behind with your studies while you are healing and recuperating."

Harry tried not to groan as he stared at the stack of books in the professor's hand. He knew where this conversation was going, though something stirred deep within him at the professor's statement.

"I spoke with Professor McGonagall this morning before breakfast." Severus placed the books and parchment on to the table in front of the sofa then sat down. "She spoke with all your professors to acquire your assignments since Wednesday and had Mr. Weasley get your books for her."

"Thanks," Harry replied with forced appreciation.

"I would like to see you complete at least a day's worth of assignments before dinner."

Nodding, though not happy with the request, Harry grabbed the parchment on top of the pile and sunk back into the sofa. After reading it over, he realized he actually had a lot of work to catch up on before Monday.

"If there is nothing you currently need, I have classes to attend to." Severus stood back up and walked to the door. "I will not return until classes finish for the day. If you need anything, you may call for one of the school elves. They will find me if needed. Lunch will be brought to you at noon."

"Yes sir," Harry responded without looking up. He replaced the parchment and picked up his DADA text. He might as well get one of the easier assignments over first.

* * *

After forcing himself to eat lunch at the kitchen table, even though he wanted to eat in front of the warm roaring fire in the living area, Harry returned to the sofa. As he sat there, he took a look around the potions master's quarters, though not really seeing anything. How was he going to explain to his friends where he was for the past two nights? No doubt Ron and Hermione looked for him in the hospital wing. He just hoped Madam Pomfrey didn't let them into the room or tell them where he actually was.

With that thought, what about the change in his appearance? He knew his friends noticed he looked different and he just hoped they couldn't figure out who he resembled. They had already brought his appearance up a while ago. More than likely, most of the school could tell he looked different by now too. And it wasn't all due to the fact that he no longer needed to wear his glasses, though that was probably more noticeable than the other physical changes. Was he still going to have to use that pathetic excuse he gave Ron and Hermione a while ago? Would they continue to believe it? He really wanted to change his appearance back to what it was before the summer. Maybe he should talk with the professor.

Having settled at least one of his problems for now, Harry pulled out his Charms text and began reading so he could complete his homework.

* * *

Severus quickly returned to his quarters as soon as his last student left his office. Hardly any students ever saw him in his office after class except for detentions, and today of all days two students wanted to see him. He hadn't been comfortable leaving Harry alone in his quarters hurt or otherwise, and wanted to get back as soon as possible. Who knew what the boy would get in to based on his past.

Expecting the worst, Severus cautiously opened the door to his quarters and entered. He stared at the sight in front of him as he closed the door gently behind his back.

The pile of books he gave Harry earlier was pushed to one side of the table with a few sheets of parchment full of ink lying next to them. From what Severus could see with the angle he was at, Harry was lying on the sofa on his stomach, knees resting against the armrest with his shins and feet going up the armrest. That did not look comfortable.

He walked around to the front of the sofa, ready to admonish the boy for the way he was laying; how was the leg to completely heal resting in that position? But he quickly shut his mouth. Harry was fast asleep with his head facing the table, right arm dangling off the sofa and his left arm acting as a pillow under his head. Harry's Charms homework and book were on the empty seats above his head. It was clear he had fallen asleep while trying to complete his homework.

Severus knew Harry still had to be exhausted and not just from being woken every two hours on Wednesday night and during the day on Thursday. Some of the potions he was taking to heal his injuries and for the pain caused drowsiness.

Giving a small smile, which still felt foreign on his face, at Harry's squashed and almost cherubic face, Severus quietly removed the Charms text and parchment and placed them on the table. He pulled out his wand to move Harry into a more comfortable position but immediately replaced it back in his robes. Instead he bent down and awkwardly turned the teen over.

The second Severus moved him, Harry stirred. "What's…what are…" he muttered groggily behind a yawn.

Severus looked down to the mop of black hair. "Go back to sleep Harry."

"Mmhm." As soon as Severus placed him back on the sofa, Harry curled up with his hands under his head.

Seeing one of Harry's pillows near the fireplace, Severus grabbed it and returned to the sofa. He gently lifted Harry's head and placed it underneath. Harry gave a soft sigh of content and snuggled deeper into the pillow.

Not wanting to start preparing for the quiz he needed to create for his fifth year class, Severus picked up Harry's Charms homework and sat on the sofa in the space between the left armrest and Harry's head. After skimming through it, he saw some areas that Harry could expand on and a few other hints he could give the boy to improve his homework. Standing back up, he shrugged out of his robes and hung them up in his bedroom. He stopped off at his desk and picked up a quill but before returning to the sofa, he stoked the fire. It was getting a little chilly in the room.

After returning to the sofa, he draped the afghan that was lying on the back of it over Harry, picked up the Charms homework and began writing notes. When he completed that assignment, he found Harry's completed Defense Against the Dark Arts homework and began to go through it as well. There actually wasn't much Severus had to do for this assignment. Harry, he realized, was exceedingly bright in Defense. If only it were true for Potions.

Having finished reviewing the homework Harry completed, Severus glanced at the clock and was relieved there was still time before dinner. Remembering the copy of the day's _Daily Prophet _lying unread in his kitchen, he retrieved it and sat back on the sofa to read through it. Unaware, he lowered his hand to Harry's head and began carding his fingers through the boy's hair while reading.

Harry was slowly moving through the fogginess of sleep and wakefulness about a half hour later. As he became more aware of his surroundings he realized he must have fallen asleep. The last thing he actually remembered was working on his Charms homework.

As he became more alert, the first thing he realized was that his head was lying on a pillow and he was covered with a blanket. But that couldn't be. He had used the pillow when he was lying in front of the fireplace to work on his DADA homework and never touched a blanket. And he clearly remembered moving to the sofa after lunch. Besides, whatever he was currently lying on was a lot softer than the stone floor.

The second thing Harry realized was an almost tickling sensation on his head. As he concentrated more on the sensation, he felt fingers brush the hair off his forehead. Who would do that? Only a few people came to mind but he would have to be in the hospital wing for them to do it. With his eyes still closed, he took a deep breath though his nose. When he didn't smell the familiar sent of the hospital wing he slowly began to panic, his breaths coming quicker. He didn't dare open his eyes.

Severus, noticing the distress in Harry's breathing, removed his hand from Harry's head. Was the boy in the middle of one of his nightmares? After watching him for a few seconds, that didn't seem to be the case. "Harry," he said quietly. "Are you awake?"

Harry's breathing started to return to normal at the sound of the professor's voice, though he still felt a little uneasy. He gave his head a small nod. "Y…yes." Needing to know where he was, now that he heard the professor's voice, Harry slowly opened his eyes.

The first thing he saw was the table with all his books and homework. He was still in Professor Snape's quarters! But that didn't explain the person running their fingers through his hair. He thought it highly unlikely Hermione would be in the potion master's personal rooms or Mrs. Weasley would come to see him.

He moved his eyes towards the seat next to his head. He immediately spotted black boots and pants. Recognizing them as the potion masters' but not truly believing it, Harry slowly tried to sit up. As he did so, he took a sharp intake of breath and tried to suppress a small cry of pain. He immediately felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Easy Harry. Lie back down. I feel you are way overdue on your potions, and the way you fell asleep isn't helping." Severus released his hand from Harry's shoulder and stood up to get the potions.

Harry's eyes followed the potion master as he left. It was the professor! He was the one who was running his fingers through his hair. Harry didn't know how to feel at that revelation. His eyes snapped to the professor as he returned and sat back down on the sofa with potions in his hand. Their eyes met, one revealing confusion and the other worry.

"I'm sorry I forgot to make sure you had your next dose of potions. It will be painful, but I need you to sit up just enough to be able to swallow without choking." Severus held out the two vials for Harry.

Wincing and doing his best not to cry out, Harry downed both vials and quickly lay back down. So much for being released tonight and going back to Gryffindor tower, he thought. He doubted the professor would release him now.

"I'm not going to be able to go back to Gryffindor tower after dinner tonight am I?" Harry questioned five minutes later, after the potions began to take affect. He was now sitting up on the sofa.

Severus looked at Harry. The question was asked with such helplessness he didn't know what to feel; sad that Harry wanted to be anywhere but here or amused at the look Harry was giving him. The boy didn't have any problems with imitating a sad puppy. "I don't want to give you an answer until after dinner once you've taken the last dose of your bone mending potion. I do, however, feel that the pain you felt just a bit ago was because of the way you were sleeping, not because of your injuries."

Harry, feeling slightly happy again, nodded with understanding. "Okay."

"I have to prepare a quiz for my fifth years before dinner. You are welcome to join me at the table." Severus stood up, stopped off at his desk for quill, parchment and his fifth year text, and returned to the table in the kitchen area and set everything on one side of the table.

Severus wasn't sure if Harry would join him in the kitchen. In the event the boy surprised him and did, he made some tea and placed one cup at the empty spot across from him and sat down with his. After taking a few sips, Severus pulled his text and parchment to him and began writing out the quiz.

Harry watched the man leave the room and return to the kitchen table. He then turned his attention to his texts piled on the table in front of him. Five minutes later he grabbed his pile of books, parchment, quill and ink, and his homework that he was in the middle of completing. When he picked up his Charms assignment, he noticed writing in the margins. The professor went through his work?

Angry at the potions master for marking up his homework for classes, Harry walked heavily into the kitchen and slammed everything on the table with more force and noise than necessary. He didn't recognize the fact that if the professor did that to his potions homework before it was turned in, he would have been okay with it.

Severus raised his eyes and seeing the furious look on Harry's face, returned his attention back to his quiz.

Harry was intent on arguing with the professor about marking up his Charms homework when he spotted his Defense homework. When he had slammed his books on the kitchen table, the top book slid to reveal the assignment. Seeing a note stuck to the parchment, Harry removed the books to reveal the entire note. The note contained only four words, but he had to read it three times before he believed what he was reading.

_Very Well Written Harry_

He had never seen those words written in the potions master's handwriting on anything he had done for homework or in class ever before. He wondered if hell froze over since he figured that would be when the man would ever offer him any type of compliment. With his mouth hanging open in shock, Harry looked up to Severus.

Severus had been waiting for Harry to explode. When it didn't happen, he looked up and saw the look of shock on the boy's face.

Harry finally recovered from his shock and gave Severus a shy smile and motioned towards the note with his head. "Thank you."

After returning Harry's thanks with a small nod, Severus returned his attention to his quiz, pleased with himself at being able to put a smile on the boy's face with only four little words.

All remnants of Harry's previous anger was now gone and replaced with a new feeling. One he didn't recall ever having before. Pride. For once he felt proud of his work. And the professor's acknowledgement of a job well done meant more than anything to him at the moment. He knew it was a huge accomplishment.

Wanting to continue feeling that way, Harry set his Defense homework off to the side and began working on his Charms homework. Paying particular attention to Severus' comments, he did more research to expand his essay. He was so lost in his homework he was unaware of anything going on around him.

Severus finished his quiz a half hour later. After re-reading it to make sure he covered all the points he wanted to include, he pulled out his wand and made copies for all his fifth year classes. Stacking up the pieces of parchment, he glanced up to Harry and found the boy furiously writing. With a hint of amusement in his eyes, Severus took the quizzes, textbook and quill back to his study and deposited them next to the other items would be needing for his classes on Monday.

With ten minutes until dinner, Severus walked back into the kitchen. He refilled his cup of tea and sat back down at the table. He wanted to observe Harry until dinner. It was the first time he was able to watch the boy close up while said boy was completely oblivious to his surroundings.

It didn't take long before Severus was able to distinguish some of Harry's habits. While Harry was thinking about something, he sucked on the end of his quill. Now he knew why Harry never had any quills with real feathers. A mouth full of feathers didn't sound all that appetizing. He almost chuckled out loud.

As he watched Harry suck on the end of his quill while reading a passage in his text, he was hit with the realization of how much Harry looked like Lily and it took his breath away. She had the same habit and while she and Severus were both at Hogwarts, he commented on it occasionally to her. It was one of the things he loved about her.

A bit later Severus spotted a habit he himself had. Harry was reading one of the comments written in the margins. His brow was furrowed in a look of confusion and his quill was jiggling up and down between two fingers on his right hand. It was something Severus did when he was extremely confused, and only in the privacy of his office or quarters. Seeing Harry doing the same thing actually made him smile.

When he realized what expression he had on his face, he quickly schooled his features back to the neutral expression he always wore before Harry looked up and spotted it. He still wasn't all that comfortable with showing these new feelings to the boy.

As Harry stuck the quill back in his mouth, Severus glanced up to the clock and noted that it was time for dinner. He called one of the house elves and had dinner for he and Harry delivered to his quarters. After the meal was placed on the table and the elf returned to the kitchens, Severus waited for Harry to turn his attention to the meal. When Harry continued to suck on his quill, Severus cleared his throat. "If you're so hungry Harry, why don't you eat your dinner instead of your quill?"

Harry jumped, startled out of his concentration, and removed the quill from his mouth. "Huh?"

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me? Can you repeat what you said?" Harry altered. "I was really concentrating on what I was reading."

"So it would seem." Severus got up to warm up and refill their cups of tea and to bring two glasses of water. "I would prefer if you ate your diner instead of your quill Harry."

Harry blushed slightly as Severus sat back down. "Oh…erm, sorry. Habit." He set the quill on top of his textbook.

"Just like your mother," Severus replied quietly. After he said those words he realized his mistake. He wasn't ready to talk to Harry about Lily. Not now. And no doubt the boy would have questions.

Wanting to hear more about his mother but seeing the look of discomfort on the professor's face, Harry decided to wait until later. "Let's eat," he said instead of the questions he wanted to ask. "I'm starved."

With those words, Severus helped Harry move his homework and textbooks to the living room so they could eat their dinner at the kitchen table.

* * *

Pushing his almost empty dinner plate to the side of the table Harry looked to Severus, getting up the courage to ask the most anticipated question of the day. "So, is it okay for me to go back to the Gryffindor tower tonight?"

Severus placed the cup of tea in his hand back on the table. "Against my better judgment…yes."

Harry stood up and punched a fist over his head. He'd been looking forward to that answer all day. He thought that after the pain he was in when Severus came back from classes earlier, the professor would make him stay down in his quarters for another day. "Yea! Finally. I can't wait until…"

"Not so fast Harry," Severus stated neutrally. Harry's excitement at being released stung.

Harry dropped his arm and sat back down.

"I'm letting you back up there, but remember you are still not fully healed."

"I know," Harry interrupted.

Severus held up a finger to quiet Harry. "You are not fully healed so I'd like you to still take it easy. If you feel any kind of pain Harry, even a tingling or dull ache, I want you to come see me immediately. I don't care if it's two in the morning."

Harry sat there staring at the tabletop taking in everything the professor said. He couldn't recall anyone caring about him that much after an injury.

"Do you understand Harry?" Severus asked in the silence.

The professor's voice broke Harry out of his thoughts. "Sorry. Yes, I understand."

"I would like to do one final check on you during our Occlumency lesson Tuesday afternoon. I hope to give you an all clear. Then you can be as reckless as you have always been, though I wish you wouldn't.

Harry looked up at the professor through his fringe with a slight blush then nodded.

"You may have dessert then you can return to your tower. I will have a house elf bring your books and homework."

tbc

* * *

Oh my...I can't believe I finally updated. I'm so sorry for the delay. I'm currently having the hardest time writing. Where this story is at right now wasn't even in my original outline. The story started writing for itself. LOL I must say that I learned a great deal while writing this story though. For example, never upload anything until the entire story is complete. :)

Thanks for all who have reviewed and added me and/or my story to their alerts. It means a lot. If you've happened to see any holes in my story or see things I haven't really explained or just doesn't make sense, please let me know. I plan to re-edit the entire story once it's complete.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

After Harry had scarfed down his dessert, against the admonishments of the potions master, and stacked up his homework and books next to his new Firebolt in the living room, he was all set to return to Gryffindor tower without a word to the professor. However, as he walked to the door to leave, he quickly turned around and went back to his bedroom, the professor giving him a quizzical look from the kitchen.

Harry wasn't sure why he went back, but as he stood in the doorway and looked around the bedroom and the mess he left behind, he knew he couldn't leave the room in that shape. Besides, after all the professor had done for him, he could at least pay the man back by cleaning up the room.

He made the bed then folded the extra blanket and set it on the foot of the bed. He picked up the empty potions vials that were lying on the night table and the ones that had rolled to the floor and placed them neatly on the night table. He finished by pushing in the desk chair. Satisfied with the room, he sat down on the bed. As he glanced around the room thinking about finally being able to be back in his own bed in Gryffindor tower, a strange feeling began making an appearance first in his stomach and then the rest of his body. He felt slightly nauseated, anxious and nervous and he didn't know why. He couldn't ever remember feeling like that before.

Trying to shrug it off, he went back out to the kitchen and found Severus putting the tea pot and cups away. He hovered in the entry way for a few seconds watching the man before he pulled out the chair facing Severus and sat down.

"Sir, erm…before I leave, I, I ah…I just…" Harry stammered. The feelings he had in the bedroom were intensifying. "I just wanted to thank you for fixing me up and taking care of me these past few days."

"You have nothing to thank me for Harry." Severus replied, his back to Harry. He then turned around and made eye contact with the boy. "As I had stated on a previous occasion, this is what any parent or guardian would do for their child."

With no idea of what to say in response at the moment, Harry moved his eyes from Severus to the tabletop and ran his thumb over a crack in the tabletop's wood.

Unsure why Harry was still in his quarters, Severus finished putting the items away and took a seat across from Harry. He placed his elbows on the tabletop, clasped his hands together and rested his chin atop his hands while examining the boy in front of him. Harry was a bit pale, sweaty, and a little shaky. He knew for a fact, however, that none of this was due to the boy's injuries. He was pretty much healed. This was from something else.

Harry broke Severus out of his contemplation a few seconds later. "What do I tell my friends?" he asked unexpectedly. "They're going to ask what happened."

Severus didn't respond right away. That was one of the last questions he thought the boy would ever ask him. He then realized the significance of Harry asking his opinion, though whether or not Harry did he did not know. After he got over his initial shock, he looked at Harry levelly. "Tell them the truth."

"What?" Harry asked astounded, eyebrows raised so high they were almost lost in his fringe.

"Tell them the truth," Severus repeated. "That while you were serving your detention with me Wednesday night you were injured. With Madam Pomfrey out of the castle attending a conference, I had the responsibility of tending to you."

"But what…"

"Since every student in this castle perceives me as hating all Gryffindors, especially you, it makes perfect sense that I would not allow your friends access into the hospital wing. One Gryffindor would be more than enough."

Harry's first thought was over the professor's choice in words. His second was it sounded like a plausible explanation to him. "They would believe that," he said still slightly distracted over his first thought. He then returned his attention to the tabletop.

Severus looked to the clock. "Shouldn't you be on your way to your tower? It's almost curfew. You don't want to be caught outside of your common room."

Harry's breathing became more rapid as his uneasiness and nausea returned at those words. He looked to his stack of homework and broom in the living room. "What about my Firebolt?" he blurted out. "Who should I say it's from? Where do I tell them I got it? I definitely can't hide a new broom from my friends. They already know what happened to my other one."

With eyes back on Harry after the next round of questions, Severus went back to studying the boy. Not even an hour ago he was ecstatic to be returning to his tower. Why was he still sitting here? He looked to the broom he gave Harry and then back to boy, still slightly confused. He finally answered a few seconds later. "You received it as a gift."

"Then I'll never see it again." Harry said dejectedly. "When I received my broom from Sirius third year, Hermione made me take it to Professor McGonagall to be sure it wasn't cursed. I didn't see it again for weeks. It would be the same with this one."

Severus considered Harry for a moment, a slim finger on his lips. "I will speak with your Head of House. I will notify her that you received the broom while you were recuperating in my quarters and I had already checked it for curses. There will be no reason for you to be without it."

"But who do I tell them it's from? I can't say I received it from you. I don't think that's wise. Besides, no one would believe me anyway. And if they did, then they wouldn't believe Professor McGonagall trusted it to be curse free."

"Indeed." Severus regarded Harry while thinking. "You can tell your friends Professor Lupin gave you the Firebolt."

"No one would believe that. If Professor Lupin could afford to buy me that broom, then he would definitely be wearing new clothes." Harry's face heated up when he realized what he just said. He just hoped his comment never made it back to the professor.

There was silence for a minute while Severus continued to think. He glanced at Harry every few seconds and noticed the boy never took his eyes off of him. "You can say it was a gift from the headmaster and your Head of House. They knew that Umbridge burned your broom last year and that you needed a new one."

Harry liked the idea but hated it at the same time. "I really don't want to say that. It will reaffirm that I get things just because of who I am. I hate that!" he said, raising his voice at the end.

"Harry, I don't know what else to tell you. I cannot come up with any other reason. I see no other options."

"Fine," Harry said softly. "Since I can't think of anything I guess I'll go with your idea. Thank you, sir."

Nodding, Severus looked at the clock again and then back at Harry. The boy still didn't look like he was itching to leave. "You really should get going Harry."

With slight alarm in his eyes, Harry began blurting out another question. "But I want to know what I should…"

Severus interrupted before Harry could formalize the question. "Harry. You need to go back to your common room. I do not want to see you with another detention. We can speak more later."

Harry began to breathe rapidly again, his anxiety beginning to grow. He again looked to the tabletop, but not before giving a quick glance at the professor.

"What is wrong?" Severus finally asked.

Harry's response was a shrug of his shoulders. He honestly didn't know.

Severus narrowed his eyes at the boy, studying him intently. It then began to dawn on him what might be wrong, though why Harry was like that he couldn't quite comprehend. "Follow me," Severus stated as he stood up, waiting for Harry to do the same.

When Harry was standing, Severus led him through the hall, past the two bedrooms to the wall at the end. He pulled out his wand and waved it at the wall. A few seconds later a door materialized as he returned his wand. "This is a door that leads to a secret corridor in the castle. It was built for the use of the professors guests so they could come and go with as little interaction with the students as possible. The only ones who know about this corridor are the professors, their guests, the headmaster and you."

Harry nodded while looking at the door. He then looked to the professor in confusion.

"You are welcome to come here at any time Harry. These are your quarters too. All I ask is that you give me notice first."

"I don't understand, sir." Did he really hear the man correctly? "Why would you…"

Meeting Harry's eyes, Severus looked at the boy seriously and continued, completely ignoring Harry's comment. "If the corridors are full of students when you would like to come down, I would prefer you use the secret corridor. But please be sure you tell no one. At other times you are welcome to use the corridor past the classroom and my office; knocking for entrance first of course."

Harry nodded, the panic and uneasiness in his stomach releasing a tiny bit.

"Because it is now after curfew, I will walk you part way to Gryffindor tower through the secret passage so you will know how to find it in the future." Severus opened the door and motioned for Harry to exit. "Hold on," he stated then closed the door behind them. "I need to place a locking charm on the door so only you can gain entrance from it. Place your right palm on the center of the door." Once Harry's hand was in position, Severus removed his wand from his robes and said a spell at the door. Both the door and Harry's hand momentarily glowed red.

Severus replaced his wand. "Now all you need to do to gain entrance is place your right palm on the door. It will open at any time for you. However like I said, I would prefer if you notified me first."

Feeling only slightly better, Harry turned around from the door and looked at the potions master. "Thanks," he said quietly.

"Let us go. It is getting late." With those words Severus led Harry through the corridor and up through the castle. A few minutes later they rounded a corner next to the staff room. "You know how to get to Gryffindor tower from here I presume?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded reluctantly. "Yes sir."

"Very well. Go straight to your common room. I do not want to hear of you receiving a detention. Remember, if you feel any aches or pains I want you to see me immediately. And you still may be experiencing your leg giving out. Please be careful," he stated with a stern voice and hard look in his eyes. After waiting until he received a confirmation from Harry, which came in the form of another nod, he softened the look in his eyes and voice. "Good night Harry."

"Good night sir," Harry said quietly. He took a deep breath, turned away from the professor and began his trek to Gryffindor tower.

Severus stared at Harry's retreating form, still confused about the boy's behavior since dessert. When Harry disappeared around a corner, Severus turned around and returned to his quarters. Still incredibly tired from having to watch Harry for the past two days, he retired to bed immediately upon entering his quarters.

After leaving the potions master minutes earlier, Harry stood in front of the Fat Lady delaying his entrance into the common room. He wasn't sure how he would handle his friends' questions. However, as he remembered the final words from the professor, he quickly muttered the password and walked through the portrait hole with trepidation.

As expected, the second he entered the common room he was ambushed by Hermione and Ron.

"Harry, there you are. I've been worried sick about you," Hermione stated while giving Harry a hug. She quickly pulled back when she remembered where Harry had been for the past two nights. "How are you feeling?"

Ron came up behind Hermione. "Professor Lupin told us you got hurt in your detention Wednesday night. What did that git do to you?"

Harry looked at his two friends and then motioned for them to follow him to an empty table at the side of the common room. "I'm fine, guys." Seeing the look on their faces, he amended his reply. "Really, I'm fine. Professor Snape fixed me up."

"Yeah, he fixed you up all right. Right after he hurt you," Ron stated angrily.

Hermione kicked Ron under the table, eliciting a yelp from the redhead. "Ron, what is it with you and Professor Snape? Stop insinuating things that haven't happened. Besides, we've been over this hundreds of times. Snape is not after Harry."

Ron's ears turned slightly pink from Hermione's reprimand. "You say that, but I'm not sure you're convinced either."

"There has been no proof, Ron," Hermione responded.

"You must be blind then Hermione. Doesn't he give Harry detentions for no reason, doesn't he taunt him in the corridors, doesn't he make his life a living hell, doesn't he…"

"Okay, okay, you've made your point, but I'm not believing it. Just give it up," Hermione stated exasperated. She then remembered Harry was at the table and blushed slightly. "Sorry Harry."

Harry felt like he was at a tennis match watching the two argue back and forth. Having been slightly entertained by their bickering, he had a small smile on his face. "No problem guys." He gave a yawn.

"So Harry, what _did_ happen during your detention?" Ron asked, his face loosing its slight blush.

"Professor Snape had me rebrew the potion from class. When I was getting the ingredients from one of the top shelves in the storeroom, I fell off the ladder."

"What!" Hermione cried.

"How did you fall off the ladder?" Ron added.

Harry sat there staring at his friends. He really hadn't thought that part through. His friends obviously knew his appearance changed, but they didn't know to what extent. As he looked past Ron's shoulder to the roaring fire in the fireplace, a thought came to his mind. "When I was coming down with the vials I needed, I lost my grip on the ladder. My hands were a bit too full I guess. I ended up bringing four shelves worth of vials and jars and the shelves themselves down with me."

Hermione's mouth was open in shock. "Oh Harry, I hope you didn't hurt yourself that bad. But since you've been gone since Wednesday night, I guess you did."

"Well, I broke my leg, a wrist and rib and I had cuts and bruises all over. I even had a concussion." Seeing the worry on Hermione's face, he added, "It's okay Hermione. I'm fine now. Professor Snape did a good job healing me. But if I feel any pain or anything I have to see him right away."

Ron was as equally shocked as Hermione, though for a different reason. "You mean…you mean you almost destroyed Snape's storeroom and you're still here to talk about it? _And_ he wants to see you if you're still in pain?"

Harry nodded.

At first Ron could only shake his head back and forth. "I don't get it. I really don't get it. You should be dead. With his past, he should have killed you the second he found out you destroyed all his stuff."

"Yeah, well…" Harry gave a huge yawn, glad for its timing. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable. How was he to explain Professor Snape's change in attitude. That was something he wanted to keep to himself for now. "I'm sorry guys. I'm still a little tired." He stood up from the table. "I hope you don't mind, but I think I'll go on up to bed."

"But mate, it's still pretty early," Ron said almost completely outraged.

"Ron," Hermione answered. "Harry's been recuperating as well as having been in Professor Snape's company. No doubt he didn't sleep all that well. I know I wouldn't have." She turned to Harry. "Goodnight Harry."

Harry gave Hermione a grateful smile. "Good night guys." He then turned and made his way up the spiral staircase to his dorm room. As he changed for bed, he was glad with the way his return to the tower went. After getting in bed, he closed the curtains and lay down. As he lay there he realized some uneasiness was still present in his stomach.

Severus awoke early, as was customary, on Saturday morning. After showering and getting ready for the day, he stepped out of his room and turned towards Harry's bedroom to check on the boy. It wasn't until he was two steps away from the door that he remembered he no longer had to check on Harry, that he had gone up to his tower the night before. Feeling foolish, he turned around and went to his kitchen to make a cup of tea to sip while perusing the day's Daily Prophet.

As he tried reading, his thoughts strayed to Harry. He began wondering how the boy slept, if he was in any pain, and more importantly, how he handled the pressure of his friends' endless questions. If Granger was anything like she was in class with her friends, he knew Harry would have been extremely uncomfortable. Now he wished he talked more to the boy. Maybe that was what Harry wanted to talk about when he made the boy go up to Gryffindor tower last night.

Severus grimaced after taking a sip of his tea and after glancing at the clock, figured he may as well head up to the Great Hall for breakfast instead of reheating the now ice-cold contents of his cup. He dumped the liquid in the sink and washed the cup out before leaving his quarters. As he entered the giant room from the side entrance and walked to the staff table, his eyes immediately traveled to the Gryffindor table and he began searching for Harry. He spotted Granger and Weasley seated near the entrance to the hall but Harry was not with them as expected. That was extremely interesting to Severus. The three were almost always together. Having reached the staff table, he sat down and served himself breakfast. As he began eating, he again searched the Gryffindor table. There was no sign of Harry.

Severus almost gave a chuckle as a thought entered his mind. In the past, while he was in the Great Hall he never wanted to see Harry Potter. And if the boy was missing he was ecstatic and not concerned in the slightest where the boy could be. Now over the last few months he was purposely seeking the boy out and was extremely concerned when he could not find him. Though this time he knew he really had nothing to worry about. No doubt the boy was catching up on some much needed rest. He wouldn't start worrying until breakfast came and went and there was no sign of him. However that didn't stop him from looking expectantly at the doors every time they were opened.

Having finished his breakfast, Severus refilled his coffee cup and sat at the table taking sips every few minutes. Most of the students had come and gone, as well as the professors. Unfortunately he had to come up with an excuse when Dumbledore asked him why he was still in the room. In the past he usually ate and left immediately. It was only until recently, when he discovered that Harry had been skipping meals, that he stayed at all meals until he was sure Harry had arrived and was eating. And based on observations of the boy in the past, Severus was about 98 percent sure when the boy would be in the Great Hall. This helped him greatly in avoiding questions like the headmaster's; that was up until today.

It wasn't until twenty minutes to the end of breakfast that the door opened and Severus spotted a wet-headed Harry enter the room. He took a sip of his coffee and began to observe the boy. Harry looked up and down the Gryffindor table, no doubt looking for his friends. When his face fell slightly, Severus felt a pang in his chest at the sight. Harry then walked slowly to an empty spot at the table near the staff table, and sat down, his head resting in his right hand. He was staring at his empty plate and had yet to serve himself any breakfast.

Having spent a lot of time observing Harry over the past few months Severus could see how miserable the boy was. He began wondering what made him look so down. Maybe his friends didn't accept the new broom? That would be something he knew Weasley would hold against Harry.

Seeing as Harry hadn't started making any effort to eat and breakfast was almost over, Severus discretely pulled out his wand and waved it under the table in Harry's direction. He gave a slight smirk as Harry jumped slightly when some sliced fruit, scrambled eggs and a piece of toast appeared on his plate. He felt a small amount of satisfaction when instead of looking around the table to see who gave him the food, Harry immediately looked up to the staff table. The boy had obviously realized it was always him who made sure he ate. The two made eye contact with Harry giving a small smile. Severus barely inclined his head in response as there was no need to draw attention. Inside he felt gratified. It was the first time Harry had ever acknowledged him. It was a good sign.

When Harry scooped up a forkful of eggs from his plate, Severus stood up, but not before jotting a quick note on a piece of parchment he transfigured from a napkin and fork. Instead of leaving the Great Hall through the side door, as was customary, Severus walked between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables, and stopped next to Harry only long enough to drop the folded piece of parchment by his juice glass. He then continued on his way to his office.

Harry was so caught up in his eating that he didn't notice when the professor walked up to him until he saw the folded piece of parchment being placed by his juice glass. Once the man walked away he set down his fork and picked up the parchment to read.

When he was finished reading, he looked up from the parchment towards the doors to the Great Hall and stared at the back of the black robed professor as he exited the room. Once the professor was out of sight, he turned his attention back to the note. He read it one more time before folding it up, placing it in his jacket pocket and continuing with his breakfast, all the while being unable to get a handle on his feelings. They were all over the place.

After waking up this morning he was excited to finally be able to hang out with Ron and Hermione. He had missed them when he had been bedridden. However, his excitement immediately turned to disappointment when he realized they were not waiting for him in the common room or the Great Hall.

As much as he didn't want to answer any more questions about being hurt or about his appearance, which were bound to come up since they always did, Harry really wanted to be with Ron and Hermione today. All his feelings about everything that happened over the past few months had come bubbling up last night making it difficult to sleep. He really wanted to talk with someone. He knew he couldn't go in to detail, but he figured he'd feel better talking about some of the things. He would have thought that after he had been hurt and healing for two days his friends would want to hang out with him. Guess his friends didn't care all that much. Even though they constantly denied it, they were too hung up with each other to even think about him.

Then there were his feelings about Professor Snape. He wasn't sure what to make of them.

He looked to his plate full of food. Ever since returning from the Christmas holiday, there were times when he wasn't eating and food appeared on his empty plate. The first few times it happened, he thought it was his friends looking out for him. He always had a habit of forgetting to eat and Hermione brought it up on more than one occasion. But it turned out to be the potions master. Harry always tried to ignore that fact and never offered any type of acknowledgement, but this morning he had a really hard time doing that. Maybe it was because the man spent two days taking care of him…maybe it was because he was his…claimed to be his…. He still wasn't able to finish his thought. Whatever it was, Harry _did_ acknowledge the professor. And the concern he saw in the man's eyes stirred something deep within him on top of the slight uneasiness he had from last night.

As he stabbed a piece of melon on his plate he was glad to know that at least one person still cared about him. And surprisingly he didn't mind in the least that it was the potions master. The professor had done so much for him in the last three days; the last three months actually.

Five minutes later, after being pushed out of the Great Hall before he finished eating breakfast so the room could be cleaned, Harry meandered around the castle for a few hours before deciding to visit Hagrid. It had been a while since he had seen the half-giant and though Hagrid never really offered any advice he could take, he always felt better after they talked.

When he got close enough to the hut he noticed there was no smoke coming from the chimney, but he knocked on the wooden door anyway. When there was no acknowledgement from inside he began to feel disappointed again. Why was it that whenever he needed someone to talk to, there was no one around? Harry turned around and walked back up to the castle feeling down-hearted.

With his head down, he was about to walk up the steps to enter the castle when he ran into someone. He fell backwards, landing on the ground with a thud, and scraped his palms when he tried to stop his fall.

"Harry, I didn't see you there. Are you all right?"

Still slightly dazed from falling, Harry shook his head to clear the stars. Then he looked up to the concerned face of Remus. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just wasn't watching were I was going." He placed a stinging hand on the ground to stand up.

"Here, let me help you." Remus grabbed Harry's other hand and helped him stand up. "I'm sorry about that. I guess I should also look where I'm walking." He gave a small chuckle. Once Harry was on his feet, the two walked into the castle. "Actually I'm glad I ran into you. I heard about your accident in detention."

"Oh. Well, I'm…"

"So what exactly happened? I was only told you were hurt, and because Madam Pomfrey was out, Professor Snape had to heal you. You stayed in his quarters, correct?"

Before Harry had a chance to respond, another student whom Harry recognized as a second-year Ravenclaw, interrupted. "Professor Lupin, I've been looking all over for you. I know its Saturday but I have a question on the essay you set yesterday. Could I speak with you please?"

Harry immediately knew Remus was going to leave with the student. It was just like with everything that happened today. First his friends abandoned him, then Hagrid wasn't there when he needed him, and now Remus, the only one whom he could really discuss everything with, was brushing him off to tend to a student. Harry took a few steps back from the two.

Remus looked to Harry. "I'm sorry Harry. Can we finish our discussion later?"

Harry replied half-heartedly, not looking at him. "Yeah, I guess." To say he was disappointed would be an understatement.

"Thank you Harry. I'll see you later then?" Without waiting for a response or even a backward glance at Harry, Remus led the student to his office.

Harry watched the two walk away feeling more hurt than he thought possible. He then turned and walked in the other direction, straight to the stairs leading to the astronomy tower. Once he reached the top he sat on one of the ledges and brought his knees up, wrapping his arms around them. As he stared out at the trees blowing in the breeze and the white puffy clouds floating by he wished all his feelings and thoughts would join them. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so hurt.

He sat up on the ledge for an hour when he decided he was feeling a little warm with the sun beating down on him. He took off his jacket and as he folded it and placed it next to him on the ledge, he heard a crinkling coming from the pocket. It was then he remembered the note Professor Snape gave him at breakfast. He pulled it out and read it again.

_If you would like to talk, I'm available this afternoon after lunch. You may come down to our quarters. No need to send a response. I will be there all afternoon._

How did the professor know he wanted someone to talk to? More importantly, did he really want to talk with the professor?

He turned his attention back to the floating clouds and sat there for a while longer. When the sky started to turn grey, the wind got colder and he started shivering, he pulled on his jacket and left the astronomy tower.

* * *

_Thank you all for the reviews and many alerts! I can't begin tell you how much it means to me to know others are enjoying my story. And I have good news. I think I'm now back where I want to be with my story. This should hopefully make my updates come more often, but we'll see. RL has a way of sneaking in and ruining my plans. :)_


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Severus spent the entire lunch period in the Great Hall eating his lunch as slowly as he could and dreadfully taking up conversations with Professors Flitwick and Sprout while waiting for Harry to show up for the afternoon meal. Harry was normally in the Great Hall by now on Saturdays and as the lunch hour was winding down and there was still no sign of the boy, he couldn't help but begin to feel extremely worried. It really wasn't like him to miss lunch. At times he might not eat, but he always showed up in the Great Hall. Severus had to tell himself that most likely Harry was too caught up with his friends and had lost track of time. Though he immediately remembered Harry at breakfast. He had looked extremely miserable and his friends were no where in sight. Maybe Harry was with Remus.

The instant that thought crossed his mind, he felt a sense of extreme hatred toward the werewolf wash over him and he clenched his hands into tight fists under the table. The more he thought about it though, hatred wasn't exactly what he was feeling. But whatever it was, he didn't like the feeling at all. As he sat there trying to tune out Professor Flitwick's tale of his last great duel, one word flashed through his mind. Jealousy. But why should he feel jealous of Remus? There was no reason to feel jealous was there?

He knew Remus had become friends with Harry almost instantly during his third year. They probably talked about Remus' days at Hogwarts and about James and Lily. Harry most likely shared his hopes, dreams, and fears with him. And he knew Harry felt comfortable enough to seek Remus out at times to talk and always wanted to spend time with the man.

What was there for him to feel jealous of?

Severus knew Harry hated him. He went out of his way to stay clear of him, and wanted nothing to do with him. Harry wouldn't even speak with him unless absolutely necessary.

If Severus was by himself, he would have given a sad laugh. Instead he quickly stood up and left the Great Hall for his quarters, not caring that he left in the middle of a conversation with Professor Flitwick or that Harry had yet to show up.

He entered his quarters, lit a fire in the fireplace and sat down on the sofa. With elbows resting on his knees, he put his head in his hands and tried to get a handle on this new-found insecurity. When did Harry worm his way into his heart where one random thought could cause all these feelings?

He knew there was _nothing_ to feel jealous of. He had something more important over Remus. Something Remus could never obtain. Harry was _his_ son. Or was he? By blood he was, but that really didn't matter in the end. If Harry never wanted to have that type of relationship with him, then being his son meant nothing and Remus won. Remus could not win.

Severus slammed his hands down on the seat cushions a few seconds later at his complete lapse of judgment. This was not a contest and Harry was not the prize. The only thing that mattered was Harry's happiness. If the boy was happier without him, than that would be the way it was, as much as it would crush him. He rubbed his temples and closed his eyes as he leaned his head back against the sofa. Harry was bringing out feelings he thought died within him years ago and he didn't care at all for this newest one.

* * *

Harry paced back and forth in front of the stairs leading toward the dungeons, with arms crossed and biting on his right thumbnail. He didn't know what to do. He was in desperate need to talk, but everyone he wanted to talk with brushed him off in some way, intentionally and unintentionally. No one seemed to care about him when he needed them the most. He knew those thoughts weren't all true, however. Professor Snape seemed to care. And he even offered to talk with him.

He stopped his pacing and looked down the dark staircase. His only option was currently residing down there in the dungeons. But he knew that wasn't entirely true either. When that student interrupted Remus and himself earlier in the day, he could have mentioned to Remus that he wanted to talk. Knowing Remus, he would have told the student to wait and they would have talked. So why didn't he tell Remus he wanted to talk? Did he really just want to talk to the potions master but need an excuse? Before he could even answer himself, he began walking down the stairs. So caught up in his thoughts, he didn't notice Hermione rounding a corner and looking at him in confusion when he began walking down the stairs and out of sight.

Glad he didn't meet anyone in the dungeon corridors, Harry reached the door to the professor's quarters a few minutes later. He took a deep breath and knocked on the wooden door. While he waited for admission, he noticed the uneasiness that had been present in his stomach since last night, was easing slightly, almost to point of being non-existent.

"Who is it?" Severus snapped from inside.

Harry stared at the door in slight shock. This was a mistake. Professor Snape was obviously irritated at being interrupted at whatever it was he was doing. And if the professor was already in this type of mood, there would be no way he would even consider talking to the man. With surprising disappointment and without uttering a word in response, he dropped his head and turned around. However he didn't even take two steps before he heard the door swing open.

"Harry!"

The relief in the professor's voice, instead of the irritation he heard just moments before, stopped Harry in his tracks and he turned around. He watched as worry ebbed away from the professor's face.

"Where were you at lunch?" Severus asked, relieved in more ways than one to see Harry at the door. "You never showed up?"

Before Harry could formally think about the professor being worried when he didn't show up for lunch, he was being ushered inside.

"How are you feeling?" Severus asked after closing the door behind them.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable in the man's quarters, Harry stopped walking just a few feet into the living room and turned around. Still feeling awkward with having to tell people how he felt, he stalled in answering and looked just past the professor to the door.

"If you are hurting or in any pain at all, please let me know. After the injuries you suffered earlier this week, it is vital that I know everything."

Harry still couldn't get over the fact that the professor was really concerned. "I feel…well, I don't know." He finally looked up to the potions master. "I'm not in any pain, but ever since I left here last night I've been feeling slightly nauseas…uneasy or something. It lasted all day today too. But it seems to have disappeared. I feel fine right now. But a few minutes ago I didn't."

Severus raised an eyebrow. It seemed he was correct in his assumption as to why Harry did not leave right away last night. Of course he didn't want to go right out and tell Harry what he thought. "That's good that it went away. We won't worry about it now. But if you feel that way again for longer than a day, please let me know." He knew Harry would probably never mention it again.

"Okay."

"Now, back to my first question. You never showed up for lunch. Are you hungry? I had a house elf bring down lunch for you. It's sitting at the kitchen table."

Harry looked to the kitchen and spotted a bowl of soup, a half of a sandwich, some fruit and a glass of pumpkin juice sitting on the table. The professor really did want to make sure he ate; and ate healthy foods too. "Thanks, but I'm not really hungry." As he turned to look back at the potions master, his stomach gave a loud growl.

Severus raised an eyebrow and gave Harry a smirk.

Harry looked sheepishly at the professor. "I guess I am hungry."

"Go on and eat. You really shouldn't be missing meals. Besides, we have all afternoon."

Nodding, Harry shrugged out of his jacket, placed it on the back of the sofa and sat down at the kitchen table to eat. Severus followed Harry in, sat down opposite him and picked up the Daily Prophet he had been trying to read, unsuccessfully, that morning.

Severus read through one story and looked up to Harry to see how he was doing. As Harry replaced his glass after taking a sip of juice, he spotted Harry's scraped palm. He dropped the paper, quickly got up and walked to the side of Harry. Completely surprising Harry, he took his left hand and held it palm up. "What happened?"

Harry looked from his palm in Severus' hand up to the man. He completely forgot about them since he got used to the stinging. "I fell and scraped my palms earlier today. No big deal." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Let me see the other one." Severus let go of Harry's left hand, took hold of the right one and examined that palm as well. He let go of that hand and left the kitchen, leaving Harry extremely confused. He returned a few seconds later with a glass jar, a bottle and a cloth. "It is a big deal Harry." He pulled his chair over, its legs scraping the stone floor, placed it next to Harry and sat down. "Without proper care, these scrapes could become infected and cause all kinds of problems."

Severus placed the jar on the table and unscrewed the cap of the bottle. With the cloth covering the opening, he held the bottle upside down for a few seconds.

Harry watched as part of the cloth became wet. Getting an idea of what the professor was doing, he couldn't understand why he didn't just use his wand to heal him.

"This is an antiseptic to clean your scrapes," Severus stated. He turned the bottle back and placed it on the table. "Give me one of your hands."

Harry slowly gave the professor his left hand. As Severus gently cleaned his scraped palm, he felt warmth spread within his chest and a lump form in his throat that made it difficult to swallow. This was something he'd seen his Aunt Petunia do all the time for Dudley when he received scrapes and bruises. He never thought he'd ever be receiving the same type of care on minor injuries. He then realized that the man always seemed to be healing him lately. "I'm sorry," he said around the lump a few seconds later.

Severus looked up at the strangled words. "Sorry? What are you sorry for?" He placed Harry's left hand in the boy's lap and took his right hand, palm up.

Looking from the professor to his palm, he swallowed around the lump. "This. All you ever seem to do is heal me. I'm sorry."

"There is nothing to feel sorry about. Remember what I said yesterday?" Severus waited for Harry to answer before he continued. "You are a child…a teenager. You will get hurt. It just so happens that it occurs more often for you."

"Yeah, another area where I'm not normal." Harry looked to the table and stared at the glass jar filled with some type of light blue balm. Why did he have to be different in everything?

At those words Severus' stopped cleaning Harry's palm and looked up to him. "What do you mean?" he asked, slightly concerned.

Harry took a deep breath and closed his eyes, shaking one of his legs up and down. Why couldn't he keep his mouth shut? He really didn't want to have this conversation. It wasn't what he came down here to talk about. He wanted to forget he even said those words. No one was supposed to know. But he had to respond. The professor would keep pressing him if he didn't. "I'm not normal," he finally repeated, eyes still closed.

"Again, what do you mean?" Severus asked softly. He then continued with cleaning Harry's palm.

Harry opened his eyes and stared at the glass jar again. "Nothing about me is normal. Not the way my parents died, not the way I am treated by my relatives and classmates, and not with what my future includes. Not even the scar on my forehead is normal."

Severus dropped the cloth in his lap, took hold of Harry's chin and turned his head towards him. He waited until Harry looked at him. "Harry, you are normal."

"No I'm not," he argued. "I never have been. I don't see others getting starved while they are home, being used as punching bags, being told they're freaks and are worthless. Others aren't fighting for their life year after year while at school, are able to speak Parseltonuge, are entered into contests made for others years older then them, or have every single person know who they are. Normal people don't get their classmates and godparents killed!" Harry yelled defensively. He squeezed his eyes closed and dropped his head.

At first, Severus didn't know how to respond. The first remarks Harry said took his breath away. He knew the boy had been abused, but he didn't realize what that fully included. No doubt there was more. When he recovered, after filing away that information for later and deciding it best to ignore the abuse at the moment, he looked at Harry with a sensitivity that hadn't graced his face all that often. "You _are_ a normal child. You have just been involved in abnormal situations." Merlin, how long did Harry feel like this? Severus wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

Harry looked back up and met Severus' eyes. "A normal person wouldn't be here just to defeat Voldemort!" he stated angrily.

Severus grabbed Harry around he upper amrs and looked at him fiercely in the eyes. "That is _not_ all you are here for."

"You think so?" Harry gave a sad laugh. "That's not what the prophecy says or what Professor Dumbledore told me."

Severus grew pale. He didn't think Harry knew about the prophecy.

"All I am here for is to rid the wizarding world of Lord Voldemort. That's it." Harry was breathing heavily by now. He tried to take a few calming breaths to relieve his anger. "All I am is a tool!"

"Listen to me, Harry," Severus ordered, shaking him once. When Harry looked up at him, he continued. "You know that is not true."

"Yes it is," Harry insisted. "It's all true. And you can't tell me that a normal person would be here only to defeat the Dark Lord!"

"Harry…"

Harry looked down to his lap; he was tired of arguing. In a moment of weakness once Severus let go of his shoulders, he whispered, "All I ever wanted was to be normal." When he realized what he had just said, he stood up, his appetite gone, and walked to the living room to be alone; though not wanting to leave the professor's quarters. At one of the corners in the room he fell against the wall and slid to the ground. He wrapped his arms around his legs and buried his head in his knees, trying to hide. Why did he always make a complete fool of himself? That was the last thing in the world he wanted anyone to hear.

Severus stared at the empty chair at a complete loss. He hadn't any idea what to do or say. He felt way out of his league. What could he possible say to make Harry feel better? He couldn't even imagine what Harry must be feeling. He couldn't even figure out what _he_ was feeling in response to hearing Harry say those things. The one thing he did know was that he was enraged with the headmaster. What right did the old man have for telling a child he was put on Earth only to defeat a monster?

A minute went by before Severus stood up and placed the glass jar in his pocket. He walked into the living room and spotted Harry sitting against the wall hidden in the far corner of the room. His heart clenched at the sight.

He slowly walked over to the corner. When he was three feet away from Harry, he knelt down in front of him, ignoring the creaking of his knees. "Harry," he stated, waiting for Harry to lift his head out of his knees. Harry didn't move. "Do you believe a prophecy controls your future or do you believe you control your future?" He waited a few seconds then spoke again. "_I_ believe _you_ control your future Harry. Not a prophecy. And especially not one made by that ridiculous woman the headmaster hired to teach Divination. You control your future. And I will continue to tell you that until you finally realize it yourself."

That was the very first time anyone had ever made mention that he had a choice in his future, that he wasn't bound by a prophecy made by that crack-pot professor. But he wasn't so sure if he believed the professor's words. If he wasn't here to rid the world of Lord Voldemort did that mean others could do it? And if so, why wasn't it done already? Or was it that the entire wizarding world believed in the prophecy and not their own common sense so they didn't even think about trying to destroy Voldemort? Did he want to believe the professor?

"Did you want to talk more about it?" Severus questioned.

Did he? No way. He was absolutely mortified that he even brought it up in the first place. It was actually the last thing he ever wanted to talk about. And here he was talking about it, and to Professor Snape of all people; all because of that one stupid comment that slipped out of his mouth. He shook his head. "No." Harry finally looked up and met Severus' gaze.

After Harry looked up to him, Severus stood up slightly relieved. He was a bit disappointed that Harry didn't want to talk, but he wasn't all that prepared to have a conversation revolving around Harry's future just now anyway. "Come on then," he said softly. "Let's go sit on the sofa. I want to finish healing your palms." He held out a hand to help Harry stand.

Harry slowly reached out and grasped the professor's outstretched hand.

Severus pulled him up to a standing position then led him to the sofa, still holding on to his hand, as neither loosened their grip the moment Harry was standing. They both sat down, slightly facing each other, before Severus finally released Harry's hand and placed both of the boy's hands palms up on his lap.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the jar of light blue balm. After unscrewing the lid, he dipped three fingers into the jar, took out a liberal amount of balm and placed the jar on the coffee table. Severus smeared both of Harry's palms with an equal amount of balm and began rubbing it in. As soon as the light blue color turned almost clear, Harry's scrapes began to heal, with no sign of any injury a minute later.

Harry sat absolutely still and without saying a word as the professor finished healing his palms. Once the tingling stopped and his scrapes vanished, he continued to stare at his palms for another minute. It wasn't until Severus stood up that he spoke. "Thank you, sir."

"You are quite welcome. But if something like this happens again, I would like you to go the hospital wing or come to me." He grabbed the jar from the table and screwed the lid back on. "I will be back in a minute." He then went to kitchen to retrieve the bottle and cloth. With items in hand he disappeared out of the room.

Harry watched as the professor walked out of sight. While the man was gone, he turned his attention to the fireplace and thought back to what was said only minutes ago. Was he really in charge of his future? Did the prophecy mean nothing? He so wanted to believe in the professor's words, but he couldn't. If it was true, they why didn't anyone else tell him the same thing? Why didn't Remus, his friends, and even his godfather tell him he didn't have to be the one to kill Voldemort? He knew they didn't know what the prophecy included, but they all believed he had to be the one to kill the Dark Lord. If none of them believed he had a choice, then why should he believe the professor?

A few minutes later, Severus returned to the living room and sat down in the arm chair next to the sofa. He glanced at Harry. Harry was rolling his fingers up and down in the hem of his t-shirt. Knowing the boy would probably not want to talk now, he picked up one of the books he had been reading all week and opened it to the chapter he marked last night. Wanting to see what Harry would do, he decided not to tell him that he could leave if he wanted.

Harry played with his shirt for another minute before he looked around the professor's quarters. When he looked next to him, he spotted a puzzle book with a self-inking quill sitting on top. He picked up both and opened the book to an unused puzzle and began working on it. "What do I tell my friends?" he asked, the quill hovering an inch from the page. "About my appearance, I mean. They keep asking me." He looked over to the professor.

Severus looked up from the book, finger marking his place.

"I don't know what to tell them." Harry continued, rolling the quill between his fingers.

Picking up the bookmark from the arm of the chair, Severus marked his place and set the closed book on the side table. "What have you been telling them?"

"Well, I've really only had to answer them once, a while ago, but I don't think my answer satisfied them since they still ask me about once a week or so. I told them that it was from my connection to Voldemort."

Severus nodded in satisfaction, proud at the boy for coming up with that answer. "That is a very good answer. It's just too bad it's not placating your friends."

"Yeah, I know. So …um, what do I tell them?" Harry asked expectantly.

"Well, I don't think it plausible to tell them the truth."

Harry nodded his head in agreement. He was having trouble with the truth himself.

"It would be extremely detrimental to both of us if the reason for your change was not kept private until the right time." Severus stood up and began pacing in front of the fireplace, thinking of possible solutions.

Harry watched him pace the length of the room twice before he decided to voice his question. "Do you think you could brew a potion to make my appearance go back to what it was? I would really like to look like myself again." Harry looked at Severus with hope. He knew Remus didn't think changing his appearance back was a good idea, but he had no idea what the potions master would think.

At those words Severus stopped pacing and looked to the fireplace, his back to Harry. The disappointment he felt at Harry's request was no doubt showing on his face and he didn't want the boy to see it. "That is a…I mean, I," he paused. "I don't think that would be a good idea," he finally answered with controlled normalcy to his voice.

Harry stared at the potions master's back, mouth open in complete shock. Did he really hear the man stutter? In all his years at Hogwarts, the man never stuttered. He always knew exactly what to say. Did his question actually cause that reaction? And if it did, why? When he got a hold of himself seconds later, the professor's answer finally entered his mind. And it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear. "How come it's not a good idea? You're a potions master."

Severus turned around, his face a mask of indifference. "A potion would be too complex. Not only would it require hours to brew and a few rare ingredients, you would also be required to consume the potion twice a day for the rest of your life. No. I don't think a potion is the answer." He sat back down on his chair.

Upon hearing the news, Harry's hope died and he dropped his head. "Oh. Okay." He picked up the quill that he dropped upon hearing the professor stutter and began to scribble in the answers to the puzzle book that still lay open in his lap.

The potions master studied Harry for a few minutes. "I do have another solution; one that does not require a potion."

Stopping with writing an answer in the book, Harry looked up to the professor, his voice full of slight hope. "You do?"

"I know how much you want your appearance to be back to what it was this time last year, but I must refuse your wish. I do have a compromise, which along with what you already told your friends, should make them, and anyone else for that matter, not question you any further."

"Okay, I guess," Harry replied a little disappointed. He placed the quill in the puzzle book, marking his place, and set it on the coffee table. He then turned his entire attention to the professor.

"The first thing we need to do is get you a haircut. With the charm that your mother placed on you disappearing and your true appearance having taken form, your hair has grown quite a bit. With your hair back to the way you always wore it, there would be less of a difference between what you look like now and what you used to look like. Next weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend. Once the majority of the school is out and about, I will take you in to Diagon Alley. It's best we do not appear where the rest of the student body is present."

"You mean I can't go to Hogsmeade?" he almost shouted. "No way. I've been looking forward to this trip for months. I haven't gone all year. Can't we go another time?"

"Do you want to solve your problem or not?" Severus asked slightly irritated. "I don't care one way or the other." He stood up from the chair, ready to leave the room. "You ask for my advice and then you complain the minute I speak? If your wish is to not hear anything I may say, then by all means, leave." He turned around and began walking to the kitchen.

"No, wait!" Harry exclaimed standing up and grabbing Severus' arm, slightly worried. He really did need the professor to help with this problem. And if the man left and made him leave too, he knew he would never get another chance to ask the professor again. "I do want your advice. Please."

Severus stopped and turned around. He looked from Harry's hand on his arm up to Harry, narrowing his gaze. "I will only tell you this once. I do not appreciate being yelled at when I am the one that is being sought for help. If you repeat your yelling one more time, I will not help you at all."

Harry removed his hand from Severus' arm and sat down. "I'm sorry, sir," he said quietly. "It's just…I really wanted to go to Hogsmeade since I haven't been able to go since my fifth year. But I guess I can go there another time," he said slightly upset. But he had to think about why he would be missing the trip. And the reason why was more important than a fun outing. "I do need to come up with something for my appearance. Can you continue? Please? I really want your help."

Before saying anything, Severus studied Harry for a minute. The boy was looking at him hopefully and with absolute sincerity on his face. "Very well." He walked back to his chair in the living room and sat down. "We will leave for Diagon Alley at 9am, after the students leave for Hogsmeade and return around 4pm, just before the students are to arrive back."

Harry knitted his brow in confusion. That sure seemed like quite a long time for getting a haircut. "Why so long sir? Shouldn't a haircut only take at most an hour? And out of curiosity, why don't _you_ just cut my hair?"

"As you learned over the Christmas holiday, I prefer to do things the Muggle way…"

Harry interrupted. "But Diagon Alley isn't…"

"And, I must admit," Severus continued, like Harry never interrupted him, "I do not know how to properly use the hair cutting spell. As for the length of time, I needed to take a trip to purchase a few things so I thought it best to combine the trips in to one."

That sounded like a logical explanation, except for getting a Muggle haircut in a wizarding village. He just hoped he wouldn't be bored out his mind. Who knew the types of places the potions master needed to visit. Did he really want to go to them? Well, unfortunately he had no choice. He would just have to make the best of it. "Ok." Then he thought of something. "Wait a minute. Is it a good idea for us to be seen together? You know, well-known Death Eater wandering around far from Hogwarts with The-Boy-Who-Lived?"

Severus flinched. He never thought Harry would call him a Death Eater. "You know I am no longer a…"

Harry was quick to cut off the professor. He knew as soon as the words left his mouth that it had been the wrong thing to say. "I know you're not a Death Eater anymore. Sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that we can't really be seen together can we? Couldn't we been seen by Death Eaters who would let Voldemort know that you and I were together? Wouldn't that be bad for you if he knew you were with me yet didn't bring me to him? How are we going to spend all day in Diagon Alley together and not be seen?"

"You do seem to think about the consequences of your actions, Harry. I am really impressed."

"I'm not dumb you know. I know of the threat of us being seen together."

"I never said you were. This time, at least." Severus smirked as Harry gave him a pout. "Seriously, that is a real threat for our visit to Diagon Alley. I will be placing charms on us so we look like non-recognizable, average wizards. Father and son."

Harry thought that over for a minute. "So you can put a charm on us for a few hours to look like someone else, but you won't put a charm on me to make me look like I used to?" he asked slightly angry. Why go through all this when the man could just put a spell on him and be done with it?

"Like the potion I mentioned a few minutes ago, a charm is not an option either. A charm of the magnitude you require, 24 hours a day for the rest of your life, would be extremely difficult to perform. No charm actually exists. Most appearance charms only work for a maximum of 24 hours. You would need to have it reapplied every day by a Charms expert."

"But the charm my mom placed on me when I was a baby lasted for 15 years," Harry interrupted.

Severus looked towards the fireplace, his thoughts going immediately to when he was a student at Hogwarts. "Yes. Lily was extremely gifted in charms. I can't even begin to understand how she accomplished it. But no charm exists."

"You're lying. It can be done. Madam Pomfrey said she'd seen it before. Can't you ask her or Professor Flitwick about a charm? Surely one of them could help." Maybe there was hope yet for getting his appearance back to what it was.

"No," Severus stated with finality, his thoughts of his past leaving at Harry's voice. "I will not have a charm placed on you or a potion made to change your appearance."

"But what if that's what I want? It's my life isn't it?" Harry yelled.

Severus stood up and walked to the front door, fed up with Harry's yelling and shouting. He turned the knob and held the door open. "As I said to you earlier, I do not like being yelled at. It is time for you to leave."

Harry looked at the open door but didn't move. He didn't know why he was arguing with the man so much, but he really did need his help and wanted to hear all of his thoughts.

"I said it is time for you to leave."

"So this is how it's going to be? Every time you don't agree with me or we have an argument you're going to just make me leave?" Without waiting for a response, he got up from the sofa and walked to the door. "I should have known. I don't need this," he said quietly as he passed by Severus and right out the door feeling extremely hurt.

"I just don't want you to change your appearance back. I like it just the way it is," Severus said to Harry's retreating back.

Harry continued walking, ignoring the comment.

Severus closed the door and walked into the kitchen. He was going to make a cup of tea, but once he had the cup in his hand, he threw it across the room and watched it shatter into hundreds of pieces. Why did his temper always have to get the better of him? Harry was right. Was he really going to throw the boy out every time they argued? He sat down and put his head in his hands. He really needed to get his temper in check. It might push Harry away for good, if it hadn't done so already.

* * *

After leaving Severus' quarters, Harry slowly walked up the stairs towards the main level of the castle. The man's final words were swirling around in his head. _I just don't want you to change your appearance back. I like it just the way it is._

Before arriving at the main level, Harry ducked into the boy's restroom, luckily finding it empty. He walked over to the sinks and looked at himself in one of the mirrors. His hair was longer, almost to his shoulders, and without his glasses obscuring most of his face, he could clearly see his facial features. More of his mother was present, but as he recalled the photo album of his mother and Professor Snape, he also had visible features of the potions master as well. As he stared at his emerald green eyes and slightly lighter skin, the extent of his features finally hit him. The features of both adults complemented each other very well. And he finally saw what the professor was seeing. He also realized he actually looked handsome, more so than when he looked like James, and he blushed at the thought. He then felt extremely bad about yelling at the man. He knew he should go back and apologize, but he didn't know how. The man was extremely angry with him and no doubt wouldn't want to see him again. Feeling slightly depressed again, Harry left the restroom and wandered through the castle.

He wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone and didn't want to be found so he wandered up through the floors and stopped in front of the Room of Requirement. He passed in front of it three times and when the doors appeared, he walked inside. After closing the doors behind him he looked around the room. Gone was the make-shift potions lab that appeared for him the last time he visited the room. This time the room held a fireplace complete with a roaring fire, an extremely large plush sofa with a blanket hanging off one of the arms, a free standing mirror, and a table which held snacks, a pitcher of water, a pitcher of pumpkin juice, a plate, a glass and some napkins.

After glancing around the room, he wandered over to the sofa and plopped himself down, staring at the fire while thinking about the situation he currently found himself in. Every once in a while he would stand up, walk to the mirror and study his reflection. After eating a snack a while later, he began to feel drowsy and his eyelids turned heavy. When he could no longer keep his eyes open, he lay down on the sofa and fell asleep.

* * *

Dinner had arrived and there was no sign of Harry. Severus was worried again about Harry's lack of attendance. His stomach knotted when he realized it was more than likely because of him that Harry didn't show for the meal. As soon as he had finished eating, he got up and walked over to Minerva. He sat down in the empty seat next to her. "Minerva, have you seen Mr. Potter since lunch?"

Minerva looked at Severus in confusion. "Why would you be looking for Potter, Severus?"

Luckily he was one to think quickly on his feet. "Upon releasing him from my quarters yesterday, I asked to see him before dinner to check up on his condition. I have not seen him since last night."

"No, I have not seen him. I will speak with Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger and get back to you. They usually know his whereabouts."

"Thank you Minerva. I will be in my office." Severus stood up and left the Great Hall.

He was grading papers in his office a half hour later when he heard a knock on his office door. He set down his quill and walked to the door. "Well, where is he?" Severus asked as soon as he opened the door and saw that it was Minerva.

"Aren't you at least going to let me in Severus?" Minerva asked from outside the door.

He opened the door wide enough to let her in. "Come in."

After Minerva walked in, he closed the door behind him. "Take a seat," he said and indicated to one of the chairs situated in front of his desk. "Would you like some tea?"

"No thank you."

He sat down in the chair next to Minerva. "Well?" he asked when she didn't begin speaking.

"Mr. Potter has not been seen by anyone for about five hours. I even spoke with Remus and he hasn't seen the boy since around 1pm."

Severus was getting extremely worried. "It isn't like Harry to disappear is it?"

Minerva's head shot up. "Harry? Since when do you call the boy by his first name?"

"I..." How could he let something like that slip? Unfortunately he didn't have time to even consider an explanation. He was too troubled by Harry's disappearance. He knew he was the cause for it as the boy's final words when he left their quarters earlier made an appearance in his thoughts. What if that meant Harry never wanted to see him again outside of class? What if Harry did something foolish? What if he was lying on the grounds outside the castle broken and bleeding or floating face down in the Black Lake?

"What is going on?" she asked, seeing the distress in everything about the professor.

"Never mind about that now," he said, shaking himself out of his morbid thoughts. "It is imperative that we find the boy."

"Why? He's bound to show up in the common room tonight Severus. When I see him I'll send him down."

"No, I need to see him now," he said adamantly. "I need to be sure his bones have completed healing. If they haven't he could be doing more damage to them."

Minerva looked at him skeptically. "I know you, Severus. You would not let anyone in your care leave before they were fully healed. Even Potter. What is going on?"

Severus stood up and began pacing. "Not now, Minerva, please. Just help me find the boy."

"Very well. But you owe me an explanation."

Severus nodded, hoping he could hold off that conversation indefinitely. "I will search the top floors, if you would contact the other professors and ghosts and have them search the rest of the castle."

"I'll ask Hagrid to search the grounds and the owlry as well."

"Thank you Minerva. Tell them that if they find H….Mr. Potter," he almost did it again, "that they should send him here to my office and notify me immediately."

"Of course." She stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder and noticed that it was shaking slightly. "Don't worry, Severus, we will find him." She removed her hand walked out of the office leaving Severus staring at his desk. She couldn't wait to hear what was going on.

* * *

Severus was frantic as he began searching the sixth floor of the castle. He had yet to find Harry and had yet to receive word from anyone else that the boy was found. As he was passing one of the many staircases in the castle, he saw movement from his left side. He stopped and quickly walked back. He looked up and saw a mop of black hair walking down the staircase from the seventh floor. His relief was instantaneous.

He walked up to meet the boy on the stairs and grabbed his shoulders. "Where have you been?"

Harry jumped, as he was still groggy from waking only minutes before and was walking with his head down. Immediately recognizing the voice, he shot his head up. "I…"

"I've been worried sick," Severus interrupted. "Not to mention I have every professor and ghost in this castle looking inside and out for you."

"I…" Harry tried again.

"Which reminds me. Stay here and don't move." Severus walked down to the sixth floor and pulled out his wand. He conjured his patronus and sent word that he had found Harry. After that was completed, he walked back up the stairs. "We need to talk. Let's go." He led the way back down to his quarters with Harry almost running to keep up. "In," he snapped after opening the door. Unfortunately the relief he felt only minutes ago was now replaced by growing anger. How dare the boy cause him such distress.

Harry walked in tentatively and turned around to look at Severus. The professor looked irate. This did not bode well. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to cause any problems."

Severus walked over to Harry and grabbed his shoulders again and tried to ignore the flinch the boy gave. "Where have you been?" he asked bitterly.

"I was in the Room of Requirement," he said urgently. He looked down, not able to look the professor in the eyes. "I just needed to be alone. I'm sorry."

"_Never_, do that again."

The professor's mood was now beginning to influence Harry's own mood. "I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose," he yelled and looked up to Severus. "I feel asleep. I'm sorry. How many times do you need me to say it? I'M SORRY!"

"What did I say about yelling?"

"I guess I better leave then," Harry said, his tone clipped and eyes shining with hatred. He tried to leave but the professor's hands, which were surprisingly still on his shoulders, stopped him.

Severus stood there studying Harry. The boy's comment hit a nerve. He had acted irrationally earlier and owed the boy an explanation and even an apology. An apology which went against everything he believed in. Evil, heartless Professor Snape never apologized to anyone. However, as he looked at Harry and knowing everything that was at stake, he knew it had to be done. Besides, at that moment, an apology felt like the most natural thing in the world to do and he would not deny it to Harry.

"Sit down," Severus said calmly, a few seconds later, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He pushed Harry towards the sofa and sat down next to him. "My temper has gotten the better of me too many times to count. The most recent, this afternoon when I made you leave. I am trying my best to control it. It's just…difficult. After you left I realized what I had done. I am sorry. It was uncalled for."

The anger immediately left Harry. Never had anyone apologized to him for anything. And for the potions master to do so? That was truly amazing. "I….I…" He didn't even know what to say. He just stared at the professor.

"Have you had dinner?"

At those words and the apology that was just given, the lump that had previously visited his throat hours earlier came back and he began to feel a stinging behind his eyes. The man really did care. Even when he was mad at him. He blinked his eyes. "No, but I ate a piece of fruit while in the Room of Requirement."

"That is not acceptable. I will get you your dinner. Go wash your hands and then come to the kitchen."

"Yes sir." Harry stood and walked to the restroom. On the way, once out of sight of the professor, he swiped at his eyes as a few tears had made an appearance.

Harry's emotional state did not go unnoticed by Severus. He shook his head. What did the Dursley's do to the boy? Or, based on Harry's reactions, what did the Dursley's not do? Severus put those thoughts in the back of his mind and entered the kitchen. A minute later a healthy portion of steaming chicken pot pie and a glass of milk were sitting on the table. When Harry appeared in the kitchen a minute after that, he retired to the living room to let the boy eat in peace.

The first thought that entered Harry's mind as he began eating was that right now, he didn't want to be alone. He couldn't put his finger on why, but it had something to do with what happened in the last few minutes. His second thought was that he still needed to apologize to the man for yelling at him. His final thought was that he really wanted to hear the rest of the man's idea for his appearance. His first thought, however, was taking precedence.

He looked to the living room and saw the professor sitting in his chair reading the same book he was reading the day before. "Professor, could I speak with you?" he asked, his fork hovering over his plate laden with chicken and vegetables. He hoped this would bring the man into the kitchen.

Severus looked up, finger marking his place in the book. "Of course."

Harry placed the fork on his plate and turned in his chair towards the living room. "Erm…I…I guess I…" Why wouldn't the man come in to the kitchen? He wouldn't even put his book down. Obviously the professor didn't really want to talk with him and he wasn't wanted around. The conversation earlier must have just been a joke. "You know what? Never mind," he said disheartened, as his stomach seemed to be tightening into a knot. "I won't bother you anymore. I'll just go." He pushed himself away from the table, intent on leaving for Gryffindor tower.

The rollercoaster that was Harry's emotions was beginning to give Severus a headache. He could no longer keep up. When it was clear Harry was about to leave, Severus stood up and walked in front of the boy, blocking his path to the door. "Sit back down and eat," he ordered. "And you are not bothering me." He followed Harry into the kitchen, started to heat some water for tea then sat down at the table across from him.

"I don't believe you." Harry looked at the professor skeptically. "If you want me to leave, just tell me and I'll leave."

"I do _not_ want you to leave. Why do you think that?"

He shrugged his shoulders and was about to deny that he was thinking that, but something about the entire situation stopped him. Instead he stared at his food for awhile.

At Harry's shoulder shrug, Severus realized that over these past few months after learning to care for the boy, it was something he'd seen him do on many occasions. It was a habit he hoped to break Harry out of soon.

"Well, you…you wouldn't come in here," Harry finally said quietly. In extreme embarrassment he averted his eyes, picked up his fork and began playing with his food. "And you wouldn't even put your book down when I said I wanted to talk to you. I know that means you don't want me here; that I'm bothering you."

Severus studied Harry for a minute. It was painfully obvious that everything the boy had been feeling over the past few days, and today in particular, was all new to him and had manifested into these varying emotions he was showing. He gave Harry a heartbreaking look. The boy might be physically sixteen but everything about his demeanor right now screamed an insecure, slightly frightened eleven year old. Another result of the treatment the Dursley's gave the boy along with coming to terms with being his hated potions professor's son, Severus ventured.

"Harry." Severus waited for Harry to look up, however Harry continued to stare at his dinner, pushing the food around with his fork. He closed his eyes for a few seconds. It might be best to treat Harry like that insecure eleven year old for now. He wasn't sure how to do that but hoped instinct would take over. He reopened his eyes and took a breath. "Harry, come over here," he said softly. "Please."

Harry finally looked up. In confusion and without question, he slowly stood up and walked over to the professor.

When Harry approached, Severus turned in his chair so he was facing him and took both of his hands in his own.

Harry looked down to their joined hands and swallowed thickly. What he felt at that moment was beyond anything he imagined. And he could almost feel the professor's care and concern emanating from his hands.

"I do not want you to leave and you are not a bother to me. I never want to hear you say those things again. Do you understand?"

In response, Harry nodded his head but continued to look at their hands. The feeling growing inside him from their joined hands was all he ever wanted to feel while growing up. Why was it that the potions master was the only person to ever make him feel that way, and for the first time in his life?

"A verbal answer, Harry, please."

"I understand," he choked out, almost as a whisper.

"Good. Please look at me." After Harry raised his head, Severus was slightly taken aback at what he saw in the boy's eyes. "Thank you. Now, on to your concern. I wasn't ignoring you or trying to make you leave like you think I was. I just didn't think you wanted me to be in your presence while you ate or have a conversation while you were eating. It was my mistake. For that I am sorry."

There were those words again. _I am sorry._ There was nothing for the professor to feel sorry about. Why was he apologizing again? "Stop it. Just…just stop it!" Harry cried, yanking his hands out of the professor's.

"Stop what?" Severus was thoroughly confused at this point.

"Apologizing! _I'm_ the one who should be apologizing. I keep yelling at you and doing things to make you mad. I don't mean to. Honest. I've never done anything like that before. It's just…I don't know…I've never had…I, I…" Feeling tears form in his eyes, he stopped talking and dropped his head. Merlin, what was he, eleven?

Severus' heart went out to Harry. He didn't think he could even imagine what the boy was feeling. But he knew what _he_ was feeling and what _he_ wanted to do and could do about it. He immediately stood up and wrapped his arms around Harry, enveloping him in a comforting hug. When he felt Harry's arms wrap around him only seconds later, he placed his chin on top of Harry's head.

"Harry I know everything you're feeling is new and you're probably scared and feeling even a little insecure at times. I am too. Remember, we're both going through this together. We'll just have to work through it all one step at a time, one day at a time, okay?" He had barely finished when the air was squeezed out of his lungs.

It was at that moment that Harry realized everything Severus had been doing for him since he first read the letter back in December. Everything showed how much the man cared about him, from making sure he was eating, giving him his space, talking and listening to him, giving him advice, comforting him, taking care of him when he was hurt, and even being there when he woke up from a nightmare or vision; everything given with nothing expected in return. Everything he had missing since that night he was placed in the care of his aunt and uncle. Everything a parent would do for their child. Harry tightened his arms around Severus.

Severus pulled back a minute later. "Okay?"

Harry wiped the tears off his face. "Okay."

"Good." The tea kettle whistled on the stove. "Why don't you finish eating while I have a cup of tea. When we're done, we can finish our conversation from earlier this afternoon if you'd like."

"I'd like to." Harry gave Severus a watery smile, wiped a few more tears off his face, and walked back to his own chair. Once Severus was settled across from him with a cup of tea, he looked back up, embarrassed. "Thank you, for…you know…for that. Well, for everything actually." He then continued to eat his dinner.

"What have I told you about thanking me?"

Harry looked up, fork inches from his mouth. "That what you are doing is what any parent would do for their child," he answered seriously. "Still…thank you." He stared at the professor for a few seconds then went back to eating.

Severus was slightly amused that Harry had answered him, as he was not looking for one. Though he had an inkling of why the boy did answer. While Harry was eating, he took the opportunity to observe him every few minutes. At one point, he caught Harry watching him so he instead turned his attention to his tea. He ended up missing the boy watching him off and on for the next ten minutes.

* * *

A half hour later, Harry and Severus were seated on the sofa. Severus had his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows and was reading while Harry had his shoes off and his feet tucked under him and working on the puzzle book.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier today about changing my appearance back." Harry looked up from the book in his lap to Severus. "I know you don't want me to change it. I…I don't want to either, I guess. Can you please finish telling me what you think I should do? I promise I won't yell again."

Severus set his book aside. "Alright. While we are out getting your hair cut, we can stop by an optometrist. We'll replace the lenses in your glasses with clear glass. I think with your hair cut the way it was and if you were to go back to wearing your glasses, the change won't be as noticeable. Do you still have your glasses?"

Harry made a face. "I do, but…can I get different frames?" he asked hesitantly. "I really hate the frames I have. My aunt picked out the ugliest pair she could find from a bin of free stuff that was outside one of the stores she always went to. She would never let me exchange them. Oh, and I still have quite a bit of money left over from the start of the school year so you won't have to take me to Gringotts first," he added at the last moment.

At those comments, a thought occurred to Severus. "Did your relatives ever take you to get an eye exam?"

"No." Harry looked down to his lap, feeling somewhat ashamed. "They said my eyes were fine with the glasses they gave me and I wasn't worth the time they would need to take me to the doctor."

"Were you able to see clearly with those glasses?" When Harry shook his head no, he began to feel extreme hatred toward the Dursley's. They were becoming worse and worse with every new thing Harry let slip. "Well, I'm going to make sure we check your eyes as soon as we arrive."

"Ok," he said slowly. He was somewhat apprehensive about visiting an optometrist. "So, what else do you think I should do about my appearance?"

Severus didn't answer right away. He studied Harry for a minute. "I think we should wait a week and see how that goes. Then decide what else, if anything, needs to be done."

"M'kay," Harry said around a yawn. He picked up the puzzle book and began to work on the puzzle he'd been on all day.

Severus went back to his book but ended up paying more attention to Harry than he was to the book. After watching Harry trying to keep his eyes open over the next few minutes, he closed his book. "I think you should head up to your common room."

Harry's head shot up. He couldn't explain it, but he really didn't want to leave. "What?"

"Your friends are probably wondering where you've been all day."

At hearing mention of his friends, Harry shrugged his shoulders. They probably didn't even notice he was missing.

Severus knitted his brow at Harry's reaction. Obviously there was something going on between him and his friends. But that would be a conversation for another time. Harry was almost falling asleep right in front of him. "You're tired."

Harry denied it through another yawn.

"Your body is still recovering. Go on up to bed Harry."

After giving another yawn, Harry couldn't deny it. The thought of his bed sounded heavenly. "Guess you're right." He closed the puzzle book and put it and the quill back on the side table and stood up.

Severus stood up as well and handed Harry his jacket that was lying over the sofa where he was sitting. "I'll see you in class on Monday." He followed him to the door and held it open. "Good night Harry."

Harry put on his jacket and walked out the door. "Good night professor. And I know you don't want to hear it, but, thank you." He turned around and headed towards the staircase that would lead him to Gryffindor tower.

Severus waited until Harry was out of sight before he closed the door and returned to the sofa. He wanted to finish his book before he retired for the evening.

* * *

_I just have to say I hate . The section breaks in my Word document didn't come through like they always did...I hope I put the lines in the right spots. Arg. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed my birthday gift to you. I just couldn't celebrate my birthday by myself! Like always, thanks for all the reviews and alerts. _


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

The smell of sausages and waffles and the dull hum of hundreds of students and staff were wafting through the corridors as Harry approached the Great Hall Sunday morning. He walked in and was making his way to his usual spot near the head table when he spotted Ron. Debating for only a few seconds on whether or not he should talk to him, Harry slowly approached the redhead and stood just off to the side. He cleared his throat. "Erm…do you, do you mind if I join you?" he asked hesitantly when Ron looked up.

Ron looked at Harry in confusion. "Of course I don't mind mate."

"Thanks." Harry tentatively sat down.

"Why do you even have to ask if you can sit down?" He shoveled a piece of sausage into his mouth. "That's a stupid question."

"Is it? It just seems like I'm not really wanted around again." Harry plucked a waffle off the platter in front of him and scooped up some sliced fruit to add to his plate. "I haven't seen you or Hermione since Professor Snape released me Friday night. Where were you two yesterday?" He looked around the table. "Where's Hermione?"

"Oh, uh, Hermione is at home."

"What? Why?" Harry's growing anger at Ron diminished and was replaced with concern for Hermione. It was almost unheard of for a student to leave Hogwarts outside of the holidays.

"Her parents contacted Professor McGonagall yesterday morning. Hermione's aunt, uncle, and cousin were in a car accident, a bad one, apparently. They, um, they weren't sure they would make it. Her parents said they would keep in touch with their condition. After dinner last night, McGonagall came to the common room and pulled Hermione aside to talk. They both left together a few minutes later." Ron paused as he recalled Hermione's reaction. "Seems they didn't make it," he said sadly.

Harry stared at Ron in shock with his mouth hanging open. Poor Hermione. Here he was yesterday thinking only of himself and the fact that he was being ignored, when Hermione was dealing with something serious. He wished he could have been there for her, especially after all the times she was there for him in the past. He wished he would have known. But he _could_ have known. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he demanded, his voice carrying the hurt he was feeling.

"We tried to look for you but we couldn't find you," Ron replied.

"When yesterday morning did Hermione first find out her relatives were in an accident?" he queried.

"During breakfast."

"And you didn't think I would want to know then?"

Ron's ears began to turn pink. "Well, we didn't see you and, and Hermione was really upset so we left here and went to see McGonagall. Hermione wanted to see if she could speak with her parents. She was too worried to think about anything at all yesterday. She told me she spent a lot of time with her relatives growing up and that her cousin was almost like a sister to her."

"Why didn't you leave me a note? Why didn't you ask McGonagall to tell me what was going on?" Harry was furious and his voice was rising. "Don't you think I'd want to be with her too?" he yelled.

Ron looked around the Great Hall as it got very quiet with Harry's outburst. He waited until everyone went back to their breakfast before he began speaking again. "I know you would mate. I would have done more to look for you, but, I really didn't want to leave Hermione alone. She was so upset. You have to understand, Harry," he pleaded.

Harry looked at Ron for a few seconds. "Yeah, I understand," he said quietly. "I just wish I could have been there for her. When will she be back?"

"Not sure. Maybe a week? She said she'd send us a letter when she got more information."

Harry nodded. With his thoughts on Hermione, he began to eat his breakfast. The feeling of guilt over the anger he had with his friends was slowly disappearing. "Sorry I got mad at you Ron. I just miss hanging out with you guys."

"Don't worry about it. I know Hermione and I have been spending too much time together. We're still trying to work out our new relationship and our friendship with you. Don't give up on us." Ron gulped down the remaining orange juice in his glass then looked at Harry, studying him. "Er…where were _you_ yesterday? Last night at dinner, Hermione mentioned that she saw you going down to the dungeons yesterday afternoon when she was coming back from speaking with her parents. I told her she was seeing things. There would be no way you would be heading down to the dungeons."

So much for not being seen, Harry thought. Now he had to lie. Luckily he had an excuse. "I, erm, I needed to see Professor Snape."

"Snape?" Ron interrupted. "What would make you want to see that greasy git?"

Harry bristled a little at the way Ron addressed the professor. "Where you not listening to me Friday night Ron? I told you guys that if I had any type of pain, I needed to see the professor."

"I honestly didn't think you would listen to him. Why didn't you just go to the hospital wing?" Ron couldn't imagine there to be any reason to voluntarily see the potions master.

"He asked me to come to him." When it looked like Ron was about to argue, Harry continued. "Besides, he's the only one who knows what happened to me. Madam Pomfrey wasn't there remember? I needed to see Professor Snape."

"I still think you're crazy. You wouldn't catch me going down there outside of class."

Harry kept quiet. He didn't want to defend himself anymore. Instead he cut a piece of waffle and swirled it in the sticky syrup on his plate.

Ron surprisingly let the subject drop and he went back to eating his breakfast as well. It was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke up again. "Oh, hey, some of us from the various houses are going to play a Quidditch game or two after lunch. It will probably last all afternoon. Want to play?"

A game of Quidditch sounded like fun. Harry couldn't even remember the last time he actually played since he had been banned from the game last year. It would also be the perfect time to try out the new broom that Professor Snape had given him last week. "Of course!" he said, his mood improving dramatically.

Ron finished swallowing the last of his breakfast. "Wanna play some chess before lunch?"

"Sure." Harry knew he was rubbish at the game, but he was glad that he was finally going to be doing something with one of his friends instead of moping around the castle.

Ron had his broom in hand and was standing in the doorway to the dorm room waiting for Harry. "Hurry up Harry. Everyone is probably waiting for us. What are you doing?"

"Just a second. I want to get my jacket." He grabbed his jacket off the trunk at the foot of his bed, and a few of the books the house elf had placed there Friday night fell to the floor. He put the jacket on his bed, on top of his broom, and bent down to pick up the books. When he went to set them back, he spotted his Defense homework and the note that Professor Snape had written and attached to it. As he read the note again, a smile graced his face. Seeing those words written had felt so good when he read them the first time, and even now, they elicited the same feelings. He really wanted to see them written on his homework again. His eyes then moved to the rest of the stack of books. He never did finish his homework like he was supposed to.

"Come on!" Ron stated agitated. He was missing out on quality flying time.

Harry looked from Ron back to the books, weighing his options. As much as he wanted to play Quidditch and fly his new broom, the thought of not completing his homework and disappointing Professor Snape made him feel extremely uncomfortable and uneasy. Decision made, he stood up. "Go on without me. I can't go."

"What? Why?"

"I need to finish my homework." He turned around and faced Ron.

"Home…homework?" Ron bust out laughing. "Are you serious? You sound like Hermione. Homework!" He continued laughing.

"I'm serious Ron. I need to finish it. I promised Professor Sn…I need to have it done before classes on Monday."

Ron shook his head. "Next you'll be telling me you want to spend all your free time in the library."

"I really need to do this Ron. When I'm done I'll meet up with you at the Quidditch pitch. Maybe I can get one game in before dinner."

"You can do your homework after our games. You'll have all evening. We'll all be doing our homework before bed."

"I can't Ron. I really need to do a good job on it."

"You never cared before. Besides, weren't you mad at me this morning because you weren't hanging out with me and Hermione? And now that you and I can do something together, you say no?"

"You just don't understand. I _really_ need to do my homework."

Ron looked at Harry and gave a huff. "Harry giving up Quidditch for homework." He shook his head. "I never thought I'd see the day. Well, if you're sure?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded. "I'm sure. I'll catch up with you later."

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "Okay. Bye mate!" He turned around and bounded down the stairs to the Quidditch pitch without a second thought.

Severus was seated at his desk in his quarters working on his research paper. While flipping through one of the giant tomes he had on ancient potions, a rolled piece of parchment appeared above his head. He grabbed it and opened it up.

_Professor Snape,_

_If it's not too much trouble, could I come down to your quarters in a half hour? I just realized I left some of my homework in the bedroom. I shouldn't be there more than a few minutes._

_Thanks._

_Harry Potter_

Severus set the parchment on the desk and stood up. He didn't recall Harry leaving any homework in the room but decided to look again. Maybe he did miss it. He searched the room and desk and returned to his own desk with a slight smirk. He scribbled his reply on the parchment and sent it off to Harry.

Half an hour later there was a knock on the door. Severus got up and opened the door, already knowing who it was.

As soon as the door was open and before he stepped foot into the professor's quarters, Harry began speaking. "Sorry sir, I can't believe I forgot some of my homework. Thank you for letting me come by and pick it up." He finally looked up to Severus, as he had been staring at the ground. "I'll be gone in a few minutes."

"When I went in there earlier this morning I didn't see anything."

Harry's eyes went a little wide and he readjusted the book bag on his shoulder. "Oh, erm, I left it in one of the drawers."

Severus studied Harry and raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. Instead he opened the door wide enough to let the boy in and closed it behind him. He followed Harry part way to the bedroom, stopping at his desk. He looked down the hall and at his work on the desk. He then faced the hall and began speaking loudly enough for Harry to hear in the bedroom. "I am working on a research project and should be here for a few more hours if you'd like to join me at the kitchen table to work on your homework."

With a few pieces of parchment in one hand, Harry walked through the hall towards Severus. He looked at the man trying to gauge if he was serious. "Sure," he replied, trying to not sound as pleased at the offer as he felt. His plan had worked. "If you don't mind, that is."

"I would not have asked if I did not mind."

Harry turned to the kitchen. Severus grabbed all his research and followed Harry. They sat down in the same seats they were in yesterday and began their work.

An hour later, Severus requested tea and biscuits from one of the house elves, completely surprising Harry. They took a break for fifteen minutes and enjoyed the snack before continuing with their work. A while later Severus looked up to Harry and found him scribbling away, looking much calmer and relaxed than he was all weekend. "Harry, you do remember I said you are more than welcome to come down here at any time, correct? That these are your quarters too?"

With his quill hovering above the parchment, Harry looked up. He nodded. "Yes, I remember."

"Then you need not come up with an excuse to come down." He watched as Harry turned red with embarrassment and then looked down to the tabletop. No doubt the boy thought he got away with his excuse. "Just tell me you want to come down. You can come down for homework, afternoon tea, to get away from your friends, to talk, for some quiet time, anything. I do not mind at all. In fact, I insist."

Harry raised his head and looked at the potions master. "Ok," he said quietly, his face slowly returning to its normal color. "I'll remember that."

Severus inclined his head towards Harry and returned his attention to his research.

Instead of returning to his homework, however, Harry sat there watching the professor. The man had a notebook open in front of him and was frantically writing in it with two large tomes opened around him. When the professor paused in his writing, Harry took the opportunity to ask a few questions. "What are you researching? Is it something for one of your classes?"

Surprised at the questions, Severus put down his quill and spent the next half hour telling Harry all about his research and work for one of Britain's potions journals and answering any more questions the boy asked.

Harry had no idea that the potions master was involved in anything outside of teaching at Hogwarts or trying to create new potions. Impressed with him, he went back to his homework. He was re-writing his Charms essay that the professor had marked up a few days prior. He completed it fifteen minutes later. When he stuck it away in his book bag, he thought about the History of Magic homework he had finished earlier that afternoon. He spent quite a bit of time on it, more than he usually did, but he wasn't sure it was enough. He pulled it out of his bag. "Professor Snape?"

Severus looked up, his finger marking the line in the tome he was reading. "Yes."

"I know you're busy with your research but, would you be able to take a look at my History of Magic homework?"

"Give it here." Severus marked his place in the tome and pushed it and his writing aside. "Have you completed your Potions homework yet?" he asked as he took the parchment from Harry's outstretched hand.

Harry shook his head. "No. Not yet. I was leaving the hardest for last." He looked at Severus sheepishly. "I was going to work on my Transfiguration next."

Severus picked up his quill. "Work on your potions homework next. That way if you have any questions, I can help you."

Harry nodded and started to pull out his potions text and notebook instead.

"I need to leave here in an hour for a meeting," Severus added.

His potions book halfway out of the bag, Harry raised his head. "You do? Oh…okay." He tried to look and sound as normal as possible, though he was feeling slightly disappointed. He finished pulling his text and notebook out and opened the notebook to the page he wrote down the assignment on.

Severus observed Harry while he started on his potions homework. He hand was propping up his head and he didn't look like he was as happy and relaxed as he was just minutes earlier. "You may stay here if you wish. I should be back before dinner."

With his mood improved, Harry nodded and began to work on his potions homework.

An hour later Severus swept through the castle towards Minerva McGonagall's office with a scowl plastered on his face. The woman couldn't leave well enough alone. She had to keep asking about what went on last night with Harry. He had hoped she would have forgotten all about it, but it was the first thing she brought up upon seeing him that morning. This meeting may have been inevitable, but he need not feel happy about it.

He knocked harshly on her office door a few minutes later and waited only a few seconds before the door was opened.

"Severus," Minerva greeted with a smile. "Come in. I'm glad you came."

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes; like he had a choice in being there. "You wanted to discuss…"

"Yesterday. Yes. Let's sit down." Minerva closed the door behind them and led the way to the sitting area. She took a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk while Severus took the other one. A tray with tea and biscuits was set upon her desk. Minerva picked up a cup of tea and took a sip. "Severus what is going on?"

"I do not know what you mean."

Minerva looked pointedly at her younger colleague. "You know perfectly well what I mean Severus. Mr. Potter. Last night you called the boy Harry." She took another sip of tea. "I have never heard you call him by his first name. And that excuse about him being injured? You had to know I wouldn't fall for that. Severus, I know you were extremely worried about his disappearance. I saw and felt you trembling before I left last night. What is going on?"

Severus opened his mouth to speak then closed it. The woman was too observant for her own good.

Minerva could see the internal battle going on inside Severus' head. "Severus?" She placed a hand on his arm.

Severus uncharacteristically ran a hand through his hair. He quickly stood up and began pacing. He knew she needed to be told. She was Harry's Head of House after all. And with Harry spending time in the dungeons with him, it was only right that she know. "Minerva," he took a deep breath. "Harry is my son."

The only sound heard in the room was the ticking of the clock on the mantle above the fireplace and Severus' erratic breathing as he continued to pace.

Minerva finally stood up. "Did I hear you correctly? Mr. Potter is your…your son?"

"Yes. That is what I said." Severus sat down again, clasped his hands together and stared at them.

"You expect me to believe that?" Minerva questioned a few seconds later.

"You can believe whatever you want."

"But he looks _exactly_ like James."

"Does he?" Severus raised an eyebrow.

Minerva stared at the potions master, trying to recall what Harry looked like. She sank down when a picture of the boy eating breakfast this morning came to the front of her mind. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"I just found out a few months ago."

"I really don't understand, Severus."

"It's a long story. I do not want to bore you with the details."

"I have all night. Enlighten me." Minvera looked at Severus expectantly. This was one story she wanted to hear.

Severus blew out a breath. "Very well," he said reluctantly. He relaxed slightly in his chair. "When I left the Halloween feast last year and returned to my quarters, there was a package sitting on my desk…."

Severus then spent over fifty minutes detailing everything that happened between him and Harry since that night last year and answering the various questions Minerva asked along the way.

Minerva was in complete shock after he finished speaking. "Does Albus know?"

"No. And you must not speak a word of this to him. To anyone," he said adamantly. "If this gets out, if word gets out that Harry is my son, I…I don't even want to think about what will happen."

"I will not say a word, Severus. You have nothing to worry about."

Severus gave a sigh of relief. He wasn't really sure what the strict professor would say. "Thank you Minerva."

"I'm glad Harry finally has someone. I know his relatives haven't made his life all that easy."

Severus clenched his fists in his lap. So even Minerva knew what went on at the Dursley household? Not wanting to get in to that conversation with her, he decided not to comment. "You do know the reason I informed you correct? It was not to share that news. It was because you will likely be hearing from me on various occasions. I do not want to have Harry out of his dorm or common room at times and not have you know where he was. I also wanted to let you know that since my quarters are now his and he has his own bedroom, he is welcome to stay down in the dungeons at any time."

"But the whole point…."

"Minerva, I know it is important for Harry to be with his housemates. I also think it is important that he spend time with me. I will allow him, if he requests, to stay Friday and Saturday nights with me down in the dungeons. I will also let him stay one night during the week. I also would like him to be able to come down whenever he feels the need outside of class."

Minerva studied Severus. She would rather have Harry stay every night in the dorm room, but completely understood. "I will allow it. But, if it starts to affect his studies…" She started to laugh. Knowing Severus, the boy's studies would be a priority. "Oh what am I saying? Of course he can stay with you when he wants."

"Thank you Minerva." Satisfied, Severus stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my quarters."

"Of course." Minerva stood and followed him to the door. Before she opened it, she stopped and gave Severus a hug. She knew Severus would be irate, he didn't like being touched, but she just couldn't help it. It was such good news. "Congratulations, Severus. To both you and Harry. And I do hope Harry comes around soon."

Severus remained stiff during the five second hug. And as soon as Minerva let go of him and opened the door, he walked out towards the dungeons without a word.

Minerva stood in her doorway shaking her head until Severus was out of sight. Sometimes that man still acted like the quiet insecure boy she used to teach.

A few minutes later Severus reached the dungeons and entered his quarters. He had been expecting to see Harry still sitting at the kitchen table working on his homework so he was a bit surprised to see the table empty, except for a piece of parchment, and Harry no where in sight. He walked into the kitchen and picked up the piece of parchment filled with Harry's untidy scrawl.

_Professor,_

_I went down to the Quidditch pitch. Games have been going on all afternoon and I'd like to see if I can play in one before it gets too dark. I want to try out the broom you gave me._

_I'd like to come back down here after dinner if you don't mind. I want to finish my homework. I'm almost done with it. _

_Harry_

Severus stared at the note in shock. He could not believe it. Harry had actually chosen to come down here this afternoon and complete his homework instead of playing Quidditch with his friends. That was astonishing, as was the note itself. Never did he think the boy would be considerate enough to say where he went and why.

Without a second thought, he pocketed the note as he grabbed his cloak from his bedroom, and then headed out of the castle. He wasn't even out of the dungeons when he spotted a few Slytherins, after seeing him, change course and walk towards him. He plastered on his usual scowl and hoped that would deter the students from stopping him. It luckily worked and he was outside the castle a few minutes later. As he approached the Quidditch pitch, he scanned the area looking for an inconspicuous place to watch Harry play. He spotted a row of seats in the stands high above the pitch that were cast in the shadows of the oncoming evening and made his way toward them.

After sitting down and seeing no one in the air, his eyes traveled to the ground in the center of the pitch. A group of about 25 students were standing around, brooms in hand. His eyes immediately scanned the group and landed on a tousle-haired Harry.

While he watched Harry and the group dissipate and begin to take to the air, his mind began to wander. Over the past six years, he had been to games where Gryffindor was playing, but his hatred for Harry back then clouded his opinion of the boy's talent. Not to mention that he had always looked anywhere but at Harry while at the games. Now, he didn't want anything to get in his way of watching Harry play. A whistle blowing from below caught Severus' attention and he focused on the game that just started.

Much to Severus' relief, the game had ended a little over an hour later, due to the darkness. His heart had almost stopped on several occasions by Harry's stunts in trying to catch the snitch, though he couldn't help but feel joy at Harry's beaming smile while he played. Harry truly did seem to love Quidditch. And he was an excellent player and flyer.

When the students began to land back on the pitch, Severus took the opportunity and returned to the castle undetected.

Harry had finished re-writing his potion's essay and looked at the clock in the kitchen in Severus' quarters. He then looked to the rest of the texts on the table. He only had one more assignment to complete. His eyes traveled to the clock again. It would be dark soon. Decision made, he reached in his book bag and pulled out a small piece of parchment. He scribbled a note on it and left it in the center of the table. Without wasting any time, he quickly packed all his books and homework into his book bag, left the quarters through the secret passage and headed up to Gryffindor tower. He dropped everything on his bed, grabbed his broom, and almost ran out to the Quidditch pitch.

When he arrived and walked onto the pitch, a game was still in play. He took a seat on one of the benches in the stands and waited for the game to end. Once the snitch was caught and everyone was beginning to land, Harry stood up and walked to the center of the pitch. Ron was the first to see him.

"Harry, you made it!" Ron yelled before he even had a foot on the ground. "I'm so glad you're here." He looked around him and Harry before continuing quieter. "Our team's seeker is awful. At least now we can win." He turned around towards the rest of the players. "I'm playing the next game and Harry's on my team." Everyone who had been playing, as well as students who had been sitting in the stands, all got together to see who would be on the next teams.

However, before any teams could be picked, Ginny spotted Harry's broom. "Harry, you finally got your broom back." She walked closer and began examining it. "I thought Umbridge would have done something to it."

Ron walked over to Harry and took a look at the broom. His eyes became as wide as saucers. "That…that's not the Firebolt you had from third year. That is the newest Firebolt. The best racing broom in the world." Everyone started huddling around Harry to examine the broom.

Harry was becoming slightly nervous. He had hoped his new broom wouldn't draw a lot of attention.

"Where did you get it?" a Ravenclaw student asked.

"Yeah, Harry. And why didn't you tell me you bought it?" Ron added, somewhat upset. "You always tell me everything."

"I…" Harry looked down to the broom in his right hand and back up to his friend. He had planned on telling Ron about the broom, just not under these circumstances. He pulled Ron aside. "I received it earlier this week. It was delivered to me when I was in the hospital wing."

"From who?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? Are you crazy? You're going to ride a broom you received from a stranger? It could be hexed." Ron made a grab for the broom.

Harry jerked the broom back almost behind him. "You sound just like Hermione did during third year."

"Yeah, well. There's a reason for me to sound like this. You sent Lucious Malfoy to Azkaban almost a year ago and not to mention You-Know-Who is back. Don't you think it's a little odd to be receiving a broom? And the newest model out there too?" Ron looked at Harry's broom somewhat fearfully. "A Death Eater could have sent it with a hex to hurt you. Or worse, kill you."

"It is not hexed," Harry stated.

"How do you know?"

"Just take my word for it, alright? I wouldn't put my life in danger on purpose, you know." When Ron continued to stare at the broom not responding to anything he said, Harry relented. "I know it's not hexed because Professor Snape tested it."

Ron jerked his head up. "And you believe that bat? Harry, where are your brains?"

"Professor McGonagall looked over the broom too. It is not hexed Ron."

"Fine." He looked to Harry's broom again. Turning around, he walked back to the rest of the students. "Let's break off in to teams."

Harry, glad that Ron finally believed him, watched as the two teams were formed.

A few minutes later the fourteen players were in the air and the game had started. Harry was pleasantly impressed with the broom. Its speed was unbelievable and it caught him off guard on a few occasions. He played the entire game with a huge smile on his face. It had been a long time since he had played Quidditch, not to mention even being on a broom. If it wasn't for the professor, he probably wouldn't even be up in the air right now. Harry rounded the pitched and looked toward the castle. He really needed to thank the potions master.

The score was still tied as Harry glanced around the pitch looking for the snitch. Movement up in the one of the stands caught his eye. Thinking it was the winged ball, he leaned forward on his broom and flew in that direction. As he got closer to the stands, the snitch flew right in front of him and then headed down to the ground. Harry gave one last confusing look in the stands, turned his attention to the snitch and raced after it. Unfortunately his one last glimpse into the stands cost him to lose the location of the snitch and it disappeared from sight. Cursing himself for his stupidity, he flew high up in to the air to begin his search again.

At a whistle blow ten minutes later Harry looked down. Ron was standing in the center of the pitch. "Guys," Ron yelled, "It's too dark to continue playing. It's getting hard to see anything. Let's finish the game next weekend."

As much as Harry wanted to continue flying, he actually had to agree. He flew down to the ground to meet the others.

"What about the snitch?" a second year Gryffindor asked. "Won't it continue flying around?"

"No," Ron answered. "It's just a practice snitch. It's charmed to only fly when a game is going on. If no one is chasing it after a half hour, it stops flying around and goes directly to the changing rooms where the practice balls are kept."

"That is brilliant," the second year said. "I've always wondered." He then ran to catch up to his friends who were already heading to the castle.

Harry finally met up with Ron who was collecting the now still bludgers. "Good game Ron. You're a good captain."

Ron placed a bludger under each arm. "Thanks." His ears began turning pink at the compliment. "Yea, it was fun. I wish we would have won, though."

"Erm, sorry about that Ron." Harry looked down to the ground for a second. "The snitch was almost in my grasp, but I got distracted."

"I'm not blaming you, mate. You win some, you lose some, you tie some. Don't worry. We'll beat them next weekend." Ron started walking towards the changing room. "Let me put this stuff away and then we can go eat dinner."

Harry found himself at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall forty-five minutes later. He was listening to Ron's conversation with Neville, and trying to concentrate on it, but his thoughts kept wandering to Professor Snape. At various times throughout the meal, he brought his eyes up the head table and looked at the professor. One time, he caught the man's eyes. He then began wondering if it was okay for him to go back down to his quarters after dinner. Not hearing anything from the man, Harry took that as a positive answer.

He was brought of his thoughts by Ron shaking his arm. "Harry, you alright mate?"

"Oh, erm, yes. Sorry." He looked to Ron.

"We're getting ready to go up to the common room to work on our homework. Are you coming?"

Harry glanced at the head table and then back to Ron. "Yeah, I guess. But I won't be staying to do my homework. I've got something I need to do."

Ron looked at Harry a little confused. He couldn't figure out what Harry needed to do. Then again, he hadn't been hanging around his friend in a while so he knew it was possible Harry was doing a lot of things he no longer knew about. Ron stood up from the table. "Let's go then."

Once in Gryffindor tower, Harry left Ron to sit with their dorm mates at one of the tables in the common room and went up to his dorm to get his book bag. He left the tower unnoticed and headed to the down through the dungeon corridors to the potion master's quarters. Luckily most everyone was still in the Great Hall so he didn't have to worry about being seen.

"You are a very gifted flyer, Harry." Severus was pouring Harry and himself cups of tea in the living room a few hours after dinner. Harry had completed his homework and the two of them were now relaxing on the sofa.

"What?" Harry stared at Severus.

"And an excellent Quidditch player."

"How would you…." Harry stopped as images of the stands on the pitch earlier that evening came to him. "That was you in the stands?" he asked, astonished.

Severus took a sip of tea and placed the cup on the coffee table. "It was."

The professor had actually gone to watch him play? How many times while growing up did he want the Dursley's to watch him play some sport or another? Or even now at Quidditch games? He knew parents were sometimes allowed to watch the games and he always envied all the other students who had parents who were proud of them and wanted to see them play. His very first game, he had dreamed that he'd see the Dursley's sitting in the stands, though he knew that would never happen. People who didn't want you to exist wouldn't take time to watch you play a game. But the professor had actually taken time out of his most-likely busy schedule to watch him play a game of Quidditch. A game only for fun, no less! Harry felt lightheaded at the thought and a warmth spread within his chest. He looked over to the professor. "Thank you. And thank you for the broom too."

"You're welcome." Severus grabbed the plate of biscuits and held it out for Harry to take a few.

While Harry finished his tea and biscuits, he was surprised at how natural it felt to be down in the dungeons spending time with the professor. It felt like he had no where else to be.

Severus quickly ascended the spiral steps to the headmaster's office late Wednesday evening. After gaining entrance, he walked over to one of the chairs facing the man's desk and sat down heavily, not waiting for an invitation.

Dumbledore looked up from the book he was reading and caught sight of the Death Eater robes and mask in Severus' hand. "I trust you were not hurt in tonight's meeting Severus?" the headmaster asked after noticing the man didn't seem to be in any immediate pain this time.

"Yes. It was an informational meeting only. This time fortunately." Severus placed the Death Eater robes and mask on the chair next to him, robes covering the mask. "I have found out why there has not been an attack on the school like was planned late last year."

"And?"

"He found out, somehow, what we had planned to counter his attack. More than likely someone here at the school is providing the Dark Lord with information. At this time, I am unaware of who it might be." Severus stared hard at the headmaster. The old man had to have some idea who the mole might be. "Am I to assume that only the professors knew about the wards being strengthened over the Christmas holiday?"

"That is correct, Severus, unless one of the students overheard our discussions. However I do not believe a professor is feeding the information to students whose parents are known Death Eaters. But one never knows."

"One never knows? I thought you were sure which side the professors here were on? Then again, with your track record…" Severus left the thought hanging. "If you are uncertain, then I feel it prudent that from this point forward, anything pertaining remotely to defeating the Dark Lord shall only be given to members of the Order. We do not need anything like this ever happening again."

"I agree completely, Severus. I hope this will be the last time we ever have a situation like this happen. I will strive to be more careful in the future."

Severus picked up his discarded robes and mask. "He is now beginning to question his trust in me. He's found out too many things without my aid and is getting suspicious." He stood up and walked to the door. "Good night headmaster." He left the old man staring into the fire and he made his way down to his quarters.

_Death Eaters were assembled in a tight circle surrounding a body withering on the cold wet ground. Voldemort had his wand raised and was repeating various curses over and over at the person on the ground. Horrendously painful screams punctured the otherwise quiet night._

_With a murderous smile on his face, Voldemort finally lowered his wand and took a step back from the body. He turned to the man on his left. "Wormtail. If you would, please allow for my followers to see who this once _trusted_ follower and spy is."_

"_Of course, my lord," Wormtail squeaked. He bent over the twitching body lying on the ground and pushed away the black cloak that was covering it. The clothes the person was wearing had long slits and cuts throughout, almost like they were placed through a shredder and put back on. Blood was running down the body to land on the ground, beginning to form red sticky pools. _

_As Wormtail roughly removed the white mask to reveal a pale face with long dark lank black hair, Voldemort spoke again. "This is a warning to all who still dare go against me and try to trick me in any way. Anyone else proved to be a spy will meet this same death. However I won't be as lenient as I am to my most trusted servant." Voldemort raised his wand one final time. "Avada Kedavra."_

A silent scream on his lips, Harry bolted upright in bed breathing heavily with his heart beating wildly. He ran a shaky hand down his sweaty face and stared at the wall across from him. The dream, or nightmare actually, seemed so real. It could have been a vision. It was almost like last year with the vision of Mr. Weasley.

Without a second thought, Harry quickly rose from his warm bed. Quietly, as to not wake his dorm mates, he rushed out the dorm room, down the stairs and out the portrait hole. With only one thought occupying his mind and not caring if he met anyone on the way, he ran through the corridors and descended the dark stairways of the castle towards the dungeons. He needed to see for himself…he needed to be sure the potions master was still alive. He knew the man attended a Death Eater meeting tonight. He had seen him leave just shortly after dinner started with a hand over his left forearm.

When he reached the professor's door, Harry just stood there. What was he doing? Was he stupid and crazy? The professor would definitely give him detention and probably more than one. For starters, he was out after curfew, not to mention the fact that the man would be extremely irate at having been woken up in the middle of the night. What time was it anyway? And the professor definitely wouldn't appreciate the conversation either. _'I'm sorry to wake you, professor but I just needed to see if you were still alive. I can see that you are, so good night then.'_ No, this was definitely a bad idea. Against his protesting stomach that was still uneasy from waking from the nightmare, and his mind which screamed at him to be sure the professor was alive, Harry turned around to head back to Gryffindor tower. He would just have to wait until breakfast to be sure the potions master was still alive.

Grumbling under his breath, Severus turned the door knob to leave his quarters. It was his turn to patrol the corridors that night, relieving Remus of the task. After opening the door, he was met with the sight of Harry turning around from his door, clad only in pajamas and socks. "Harry?" he said astounded. Harry was the last person he thought he'd see at his door; especially this late at night.

At the sound of the professor's voice Harry froze.

"What are you doing down here three hours after curfew?" Severus asked.

Harry slowly turned around to face Severus, unable to say anything.

Severus was about to send the boy back to Gryffindor tower with loss of house points when he noticed the boy's face was extremely pale, he was shaking like a leaf and breathing rapidly. Severus was instantly on alert. "What is wrong?" he asked with slight worry, forgetting all about the boy being out of his tower after curfew.

Finally finding his voice, Harry looked up to Severus and answered. "Nothing."

Severus could see the scared, almost terrified, look in his eyes. And for some reason he could tell that it wasn't due to the fact that he was caught out after curfew. "I don't think it's nothing," he said seriously. After studying Harry for a few more seconds, he reached out and took the boy's shoulder and guided him inside their quarters. "Come along. It's cold out here. Get inside, warm up, then we'll talk." He brought Harry to the sofa and had him sit down. The minute Harry was seated on the sofa, he brought his legs up, wrapped his arms around his knees and stared at the fire in the fireplace. Severus gave him one last look and went to his bedroom to grab a blanket. He came back out and wrapped it around the still trembling boy.

Looking at the state Harry was in, Severus knew it was out of the question for him to continue with his assigned rounds of the castle. He knelt down in front of the fireplace to floo call the headmaster, glad for once the old man always stayed up well into the evening.

"Headmaster," Severus stated the second Dumbledore's office came in to view. "I need a word."

"Of course Severus," came Dumbledore's reply a little bit later. The headmaster was sitting at his desk perusing the prior day's _Daily Prophet_.

"I'm afraid you'll need to find someone else to patrol tonight. Something important has come up which I must attend to."

"Is everything all right?" the headmaster asked getting concerned. It wasn't like Severus to cancel on his duties.

"Yes, everything is fine. Head of House responsibilities."

"I understand." Dumbledore knew that it more than likely meant a student was in need of Severus at that moment. And that the student came first. "Well, I hope your student is okay. Thanks for letting me know Severus. I will see you tomorrow."

With those words, Severus got up and sat down next to Harry on the sofa.

In the time the professor was gone, Harry tried to stop shaking, but he couldn't. At seeing the professor in front of him, the details of his nightmare came to the forefront of his mind; all the pain and torture he watched the potions master endure and then his eventual death. Another death he was responsible for. How many more deaths would he be responsible for? A shiver racked his body.

Severus noticed Harry was still trembling, though covered with a warm blanket. Worried Harry was having some delayed effects from his injuries last week, he scooted closer to him and put his hand against the boy's forehead to check for a fever.

The feeling of his professor's hand on his forehead brought Harry out of his thoughts. He lifted his head up and looked over to man. "You're alive," he said quietly. "I thought you were…it seemed so real…you had to be…I saw him cast the curse. It was just like with Mr. Weasley." He began to shake more intensely. He pulled the blanket around his shoulders tighter.

Removing his hand from Harry's forehead, Severus looked at the boy extremely confused.

Harry knew he wasn't making any sense, and not just by the look on the professor's face. He needed to try again. "I saw it. I was there."

"Was where?" Severus interrupted, trying to understand what Harry was telling him. The boy was obviously distressed about whatever it was.

"A Death Eater meeting. Voldemort found out about another spy and because he was his most trusted follower, he used him as an example. He cast a lot of spells I've never heard of. They caused all sorts of cuts and pain." A tremble racked Harry's body, when he remembered the screaming. "Then he cast the killing curse." He paused and took a shaky breath. "He killed you. I saw it! I was there."

Severus stared at Harry shaken at what the boy just mentioned. It sounded like one of his own nightmares, especially considering the events of tonight's Death Eater meeting. Trying to push that thought aside, he was finally able to respond to Harry a few seconds later. "You said it was just like with Mr. Weasley?" At Harry's nod he continued, anger becoming more apparent than his uneasiness. "Why did you not go directly to the headmaster? Are you or are you not to see him immediately when you get a vision?"

"I couldn't. I had to see if it was true. I needed to see for myself that you were still alive."

"You were to go to the headmaster," Severus stated severely.

"But it wasn't a vision," Harry said more loudly. "I just needed to see…"

"You said it was just like with Mr. Weasley. _That_ was a vision."

"But this wasn't!" Harry yelled.

"You didn't know that for sure. What if it was a vision and I was truly in danger? You would rather risk my life to come down here to see if it was true instead of going to the headmaster where he could possibly provide help?" Severus knew he sounded selfish, but it was not his intention. "What if your dream was of Ms. Granger or young Mr. Weasley? Would you go look for them first or go to the headmaster?"

"But I just…I needed…I had to…" Feeling a stinging behind his eyes, Harry quickly turned to the side, his back facing the professor. "You just don't understand," he finally said with a shaky quiet voice.

Truly uncomfortable with the situation, Severus said the first thing that came to his mind. "I think it's time you go back to Gryffindor tower."

"NO!" Harry shouted as he turned to face the professor. "Please don't make me go back. Please," he begged. He didn't truly know why, but he did not want to leave the presence of the professor. Not after that nightmare.

Severus was actually taken aback by Harry's request to stay. Whatever Harry witnessed before waking must have truly shaken him. "You must go back to your tower," Severus stated. When it looked like Harry was going to protest, he relented a little. "Just sit here. I'll be back with some tea. You obviously need to calm down before you go back."

Harry dropped his head, slightly disappointed, though he knew he was lucky to be able to stay for tea.

Getting up from the sofa, Severus glanced at Harry one last time, his expression softening slightly. Maybe this was a sign that the boy was finally accepting that they were father and son. Why else would he immediately seek him out after waking from a nightmare?

Severus went into the kitchen to make the tea and came back out a few minutes later carrying two cups. He handed one to Harry and sat down on the sofa with his. It was quiet while the two sipped their tea, neither really knowing what to say.

After seeing Harry yawn for the fifth time in as many minutes, Severus put his cup on the coffee table in front of him and reached for Harry's. "It's time for you to head up to your tower."

Harry shook his head. "No. Can I please stay down here tonight? I promise you won't even know I'm here," he implored. After the nightmare he had had, he really didn't want to be alone up in his dormitory. Well, he wouldn't really alone as there were four other boys there, but it wasn't the same. He couldn't really explain it, but he wanted to be in the presence of the professor, to be able to open his eyes and see that the man was indeed still alive.

"You need to go back to Gryffindor tower. There is no reason for you to stay down here tonight."

"FINE!" Harry yelled, hoping it hid how upset he was. He felt so betrayed. Just a few days ago the professor was telling him he was welcome any time, and now when he needed the man and wanted to be down in the dungeons for the first time ever, he was being kicked out. He knew it was a mistake to have come down here. He jumped up from the sofa, threw the blanket on the floor and quickly walked to the door.

Severus stood up and was right behind him. When Harry was almost to the door, he placed a hand on Harry's shoulder to stop him. "Harry, wait!" he said quietly. He knew he didn't handle that well. Harry's nightmare, combined with the revelations from the Death Eater meeting earlier that night, just didn't sit well with him and made him feel uncomfortable. He knew he was mistaken in making Harry leave. He could not throw Harry out when he was obviously distressed over the nightmare.

Harry slowly turned around and stood in the doorway, his face a mask of indifference, even though he was really feeling upset about the betrayal and still slightly scared from the nightmare. He stared at Severus' chest, not able to make eye contact.

"Harry?" Severus was waiting for Harry to look up at him.

Harry continued to stand there, not moving from the door. Part of him just wanted to run back up to his dorm room, while the other part of him wanted to stay down here and yell at the man. He then thought back to what the professor said to him Saturday night. _… you're probably scared and feeling even a little insecure at times. I am too. Remember, we're both going through this together. We'll just have to work through it all one step at a time, one day at a time._ Maybe the professor wasn't sure what to do in this type of situation.

Slowly, Harry raised his eyes and met Severus'. He decided to ask one more time. "Can I _please_ stay the night?"

"You may. I should not have told you to leave."

"Thank you."

Severus gently pulled Harry into his quarters. "Go on to bed, Harry."

"But I'm not tired." He tried to hide a yawn. "Can I sit out here for a while?" He wasn't all that comfortable with having the man out of his sight yet.

Obviously Harry was tired, but Severus understood. "Very well. Sit on the sofa and get back under the blanket. It's chilly in here and I'm not planning on stoking the fire. Severus re-heated his and Harry's tea and sat down on the other end of the sofa. He picked up a journal from the coffee table and began reading. He looked over at Harry five minutes later. Harry had his legs tucked under him with the left side of his body on the back of the sofa. He was facing Severus and was sound asleep.

Severus set the journal down and got up from the sofa. "Harry," he stated as he walked in front of Harry. "Go on to bed."

Harry slowly opened his eyes and looked to Severus, blinking a few times.

"It's time for bed Harry" Severus repeated.

"Okay," Harry said, without protest. He uncurled himself from under the blanket, stood up and walked sleepily to his room.

Severus gave Harry a few minutes to get in to bed and then walked down the hall. He stood in the open doorway. "I'll have your clothes brought down tomorrow morning and will wake you in time for breakfast in the Great Hall. If you need me at _any_ time tonight, please don't hesitate to wake me. Good night Harry."

"Okay. Good night professor." After Severus turned off the light and closed the door, Harry sunk down into the blankets and pulled them up to his chin. With the comfort of knowing the professor was in the other room and was alive and well, his eyes began to get heavy. A few minutes later he was asleep.

After leaving Harry's room, Severus went out to his desk and sat down. He pulled a piece of parchment out and grabbed a quill. He needed to let Minerva know that Harry was staying down in the dungeons and he needed Harry's clothes before breakfast in the morning.

An hour later and Severus was ready to retire for the night. As he walked down the hall, he stopped at Harry's room. He quietly opened the bedroom door and peaked inside. Harry was sound asleep, lying on his stomach. He walked up to the bed, readjusted the blankets around Harry, and left the room, closing the door behind him. He then headed to his own room to get a few hours sleep before the start of the next day.

After the nightmare on Wednesday night, the rest of Harry's week was pretty uneventful. Unfortunately Hermione was still at home with her parents and it didn't look like she would be back until sometime during the next week. And much to Ron's disappointment, Harry was busy working on homework until dinner instead of talking, wandering around the castle, or playing exploding snap like in the past every day. Though, they still played wizards chess after dinner.

As it got closer to Saturday, Harry was getting more and more excited for his trip with Professor Snape to Diagon Alley. He still didn't know what they would be doing for all those hours, but he didn't care. He could always find something to do in the alley. He always enjoyed spending time there.

And it wasn't until the mail delivery on Friday during breakfast that he received a note from the professor telling him when to be down to their quarters Saturday morning. Friday's classes couldn't go fast enough for Harry.

* * *

_I can't believe how fast I'm updating now. I sure hope I can continue. As always, thanks for the reviews and alerts! :)_


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Slightly after dawn on Saturday morning, Harry was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. He had awoken a few minutes earlier with a slight headache. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before as he and Ron had spent the evening playing chess and exploding snap. The two of them didn't get to bed until well after midnight. And once they finally did go to bed, Harry kept waking up at various times throughout the night.

Harry glanced at the clock on his side table. Seeing he still had another two hours before he had to head down for breakfast, he rolled back over, burrowed under the covers and closed his eyes, hoping more sleep would make his headache go away.

"Harry! Harry, wake up. You're going to miss breakfast." Ron was hovering over Harry's bed trying to shake him awake hours later. "Harry."

"Wha…?" mumbled Harry, slowly opening his eyes. "I'm trying to sleep Ron." He gave a yawn.

"I know, but you're going to miss breakfast." Satisfied Harry was awake, Ron stepped back from the bed.

"What time is it?" Harry rubbed at his eyes.

Ron looked to the clock on Harry's side table. "Eight fifteen. We've got fifteen minutes to eat breakfast before we leave for Hogsmeade."

"Yeah, okay." Harry slowly sat up, the headache he felt earlier unfortunately still present. "Go on down. I'll be there right behind you."

Nodding, Ron turned and left Harry to get dressed.

Harry was slightly panicked. He had overslept. He only had a half hour to eat and get down to Professor Snape's quarters. And without any idea how, he still had to tell Ron he wasn't going to Hogsmeade. He got up and took the quickest shower on record and got dressed, pulling on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and trainers. Feeling slightly cold as he was about the leave the room, he grabbed one of his nicer jumpers and put that on over his shirt. He yanked his jacket off the corner of his bed and ran down to the Great Hall.

"There you are," Ron stated and Harry slid in next to him at the Gryffindor table. "I was worried you wouldn't show up. You better hurry up and eat. We have to be outside in less than five minutes."

Not really feeling all that hungry, Harry grabbed a piece of toast and slathered on some orange marmalade. Needing something to drink and something to warm him up at the same time, he poured himself a cup of tea and took a sip. He turned to Ron. He now had to come up with an excuse. "I think I'm going to stay here instead of going to Hogsmeade."

"What? Why would you stay here?" Ron asked astounded around a mouth of food.

"I'm not feeling all that well. I've got a pretty bad headache." At least the second part was true, he thought, so it all wasn't a lie.

"So go see Madam Pomfrey and have her give you a headache potion. You can't miss Hogsmeade. You haven't gone since last year."

"I know, but, I just really want to go back to bed."

Ginny walked up behind the two, interrupting their conversation. "Come on you two, we're getting ready to leave."

"Yeah, okay," Ron stated to his sister. "We'll be there in a minute." He watched Ginny turn and walk out the doors.

"Go on without me Ron," Harry said, pulling Ron's attention from watching Ginny. "I don't want to feel miserable there. Just go."

Ron looked at Harry a little skeptically. "Okay." He stood up. "I'll make sure to bring you back something from Honeydukes and Zonko's Joke Shop."

"Thanks, mate. Have fun." Harry watched Ron exit the Great Hall then returned his attention to his breakfast. He really wasn't hungry but he forced himself to eat two pieces of toast and finish his tea before he left for the professor's quarters.

With students milling about in the corridors, Harry took the secret passage down. It was the first time he had done so since the professor walked with him through it last week. He stood in front of the door slightly nervous. He placed his palm on the center to gain entrance. After he heard it unlock, he opened the door. Swallowed in nervousness, he walked inside. "Professor Snape," he called out after closing the door behind him, not wanting to startle the man. "I'm here." He walked through the hallway into the living room. He spotted the professor seated at the kitchen table reading the _Daily Prophet_, and walked into the room.

When Harry walked in, Severus placed the paper on the table. "Good morning Harry. Let me clean this up," he gestured to the tea cup and spoon on the table, "then we can get ready to go."

Harry nodded and walked awkwardly to the living room. He took a seat on the sofa and rubbed his forehead. He hoped that after eating something, his headache would have gone away. Maybe it just needed more time. He toyed with the idea of asking the professor for a headache potion, but he had a feeling that the man would cancel the trip if he did. He couldn't risk it. Surprisingly, he had actually been looking forward to this trip since it was brought up last week, and he didn't want to miss it.

Severus walked into living room a minute later. "Before we leave, I need to change our appearances. Stand up Harry." Once Harry was standing in front of him, he withdrew his wand and waved it at Harry.

Before Severus even lowered his hand, Harry felt a tingling sensation spread throughout his body. But just as soon as it started, it had stopped.

After conjuring a mirror, Severus held it out for Harry. "No one will be able to recognize you now."

Harry took the mirror and looked at his reflection. His face was rounder, he had a smaller nose and his hair was a lighter brown. He still had green eyes and his hair was the same style and length it was before the spell. But other then that, he didn't look like Harry Potter at all.

"I left your hair length and texture and your eyes the way they were. Since those are the reasons we are going to Diagon Alley it was necessary to keep them the same."

"My scar is gone," Harry said in awe, still staring at his reflection and running a finger over his now-smooth forehead. "I wish that didn't have to come back when we were done."

Severus then took the wand to himself. When he was done, his hair was a little darker than Harry's and was cut short. He still had his dark brown eyes, but the shape of his face matched Harry's. He had even changed what he was wearing, knowing he would attract too much attention dressed in his usual clothes. Gone was the standard black attire he always wore. He now sported black jeans with a dark green long-sleeved shirt and black loafers.

Harry stared at the professor in shock. He had never seen the professor in anything but his usual black. He then drew his attention up to the man's face. He couldn't really say why, but he was glad to see the professor kept his eyes the same. It made him more comfortable.

"Now, on to our names, though we probably won't need to use them. Since your name is common enough, we can stick with Harry. Mine on the other hand will need to be changed. Let's see." Severus began pacing in front of Harry, one finger tapping his lips. He needed to come up with a common name for himself. "How about Christopher?" he said after a minute. "Christopher and Harry…" He looked down to Harry. "Do you have any suggestions for a last name?"

Wide eyed and unblinking, Harry looked up to Severus. He didn't expect to have a say in anything. And to be asked that question? "Er…" his thoughts wandered to his mother. "How about Evans?" he asked quietly, not sure what Severus' reaction would be.

Severus stopped pacing and looked down to Harry. "Evans it is," he said without a second thought. "Christopher and Harry Evans. Now, since we are going as father and son, it would only be natural that we address each other as such. You in particular," he said looking at Harry pointedly.

He had to address the professor as his father? Harry wasn't sure if he would be able to do that. He swallowed, slightly uncomfortable. "Okay."

"Are you ready?" Severus asked as he grabbed his overcoat from the chair and put it on.

Harry nodded.

"We'll floo into the Leaky Cauldron." Severus took a jar off the mantle and held it out to Harry. "You can go first."

Harry took a small handful of the ash-like glittery powder and threw it into the fire already burning in the fireplace. Once the fire turned green, he stepped in and shouted "Diagon Alley." A few seconds later he was standing in the fireplace of the Leaky Cauldron. He quickly stepped out and to the side for Severus' arrival while brushing soot off his clothes from the extremely dirty fireplace. Satisfied the ash was gone, he began rubbing his forehead again, the trip through the floo having aggravated his already aching head. He looked around the pub and was glad to see that no one paid him any attention as he had arrived.

Severus stepped out of the fireplace a few seconds after Harry. "Come along. I think the first stop should be the Optometrist." He led Harry through the dark and shabby pub and out into the courtyard. When they were standing in front of the brick wall, Severus pulled out his wand and tapped the wall. As soon as the archway appeared, the two walked out onto the cobble stoned street.

Harry had a huge smile on his face as the archway disappeared behind them. He hadn't been to Diagon Alley since before fifth year, and as he walked along the crowded street, his head swiveled back and forth to take in the sights just like it was during his very first year visiting. Others may have taken Diagon Alley for granted, but not him. His visits only amounted to one day a year, except for his third year, and he was always in awe when he visited.

All along the street, shops set out some of the products they were selling; cauldrons, potion ingredients, wizard wear, books, and even candy. Mothers and fathers were milling about while their children were running excitedly up and down the street pointing to various things and men and women were stopping at all the various displays. Diagon Alley was pretty crowded for a cool February day.

Something caught Harry's eye and he stopped walking a little bit after they entered Diagon Alley. A little boy, about four years old, had his small hands surrounding an enormous mug topped with about a foot of fluffy whipped cream at a table in front of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. The little boy had chocolate and whipped cream smeared all over his face and was smiling up to his parents. The mother gave a laugh, took a napkin and began wiping the boy's face clean when Harry felt a hand on his shoulder. A sad smile on his face, he looked away from the little boy with a slight pang of sadness in his heart.

"This way Harry." Severus guided Harry into a shop on the right side of the street next to Obscure Books.

At the sound of bells tinkling as the door closed, an older gentleman turned around at the front counter and addressed Severus and Harry. "Welcome to Seesmore Optometry. I'm Dr. Jenkins. What can I do for you?"

Severus walked up to the counter with Harry trailing behind. "My son, Harry, needs to get his eyes checked."

"Very well, Mr…."

"Evans," Severus supplied.

Dr. Jenkins nodded. "Mr. Evans, has your son been here before?" He looked over to Harry.

"No he hasn't."

"When was the last time he had an eye exam?"

Severus looked to Harry then back up to Dr. Jenkins. "I honestly can't say." Dr. Jenkins looked at Severus skeptically, but before he could question Severus further, Severus continued. "He has been living with his mother for the past fifteen and a half years."

As the two were talking, Harry just watched them. It was extremely odd seeing the professor in this type of environment. Gone was the icy demeanor and voice full of malice that the man usually had when conversing with anyone. He was actually pleasant to be around.

Dr. Jenkins was rummaging through many pieces of parchment scattered in front of him as he talked with Severus. "Give me about five minutes," he stated as he grabbed a few pieces of parchment, stuck them in a clipboard and laid them on the counter in front of Severus. "While you wait, could you please fill this out?

With parchment and clipboard in hand, Severus walked over to one of the waiting room chairs, a few down from a mother and her young daughter. "Harry, while we're waiting, go take a look at all the frames and see which one you would like?"

Harry nodded and walked to the other side of the office and began looking at the many different types of frames.

While Harry looked over the frames, Severus sat down and glanced through the forms. He let out a breath and began filling them out. Luckily it was mostly just contact information, to establish Harry as a patient at the office, and didn't require any detailed medical information. As that thought crossed his mind, Severus decided a thorough medical exam would definitely be required for Harry. Not the one that Madam Pomfrey performed the other week for injuries only, but one that checked for past illnesses and possible food and medical allergies as well; a full medical history. Severus looked back down to the forms. He wasn't all that happy with having to fill them out with false information so he completed them with Harry's and his real names and information. When finished, he looked around the office and seeing no one was paying him any attention, he pulled out his wand and cast a spell on the parchments. After quickly replacing his wand, he looked down to the forms again satisfied.

The forms now showed contact information for Harry and Christopher Evans. However, whenever anything was to be sent by post to the Evans or when the office needed to contact them for anything, everything would automatically be sent to Harry and Severus at either Spinners End or Hogwarts, depending on where they were at the time.

"Harry Evans," Dr. Jenkins called from an open doorway a few minutes later. "Come on in."

Setting down the frames he was looking at, Harry began wringing his hands, extremely nervous. He really didn't want to go with the doctor, though he knew he was being childish. Years ago, at six years old, when the teacher at Harry's primary school contacted his aunt to see about him getting his eyes checked, Dudley told him all sorts of painful things the doctor did to your eyes. After hearing that, he pleaded with his aunt to just buy him a pair of glasses and forget about the exam. His aunt agreed without a second thought. As Harry grew older, though, he wished his aunt would have pressed for an eye exam. His eyesight had been rubbish all his life. Pain or not, he would have gone for the exam.

Harry looked to Severus and when the man gave him a slight nod, he swallowed and tentatively began walking towards the doctor.

Severus immediately saw the fear in Harry's eyes. As Harry passed he quietly whispered, "There is nothing to fear. You will be fine."

At the professor's reassurance, Harry began feeling slightly better. In the past, he would never have believed a word the professor might utter to him. But now? Now he knew the professor would never lie or purposely hurt him. He gave the professor a very small smile as he passed, and followed the doctor into the exam room.

While Harry was with the doctor, Severus passed the time reading a magazine that was lying on the table in the waiting area. He was hoping Harry's eyes were fine and he didn't need to wear glasses.

Fifteen minutes later, the exam room door creaked open and Harry walked out with the doctor next to him. "I need to speak with your father Harry. You can take a seat in the waiting area." Dr. Jenkins looked to Severus. "Mr. Evans, could you see me at the counter, please?"

Harry walked over to the waiting area and was just about to sit down next to Severus. "Have you found a pair of frames you like?" Severus asked Harry.

"I think so," Harry replied.

"Good. While I speak with the doctor, go ahead and look at them all again to be sure. When you've made up your mind, bring them over." Severus got up and walked over to the counter.

Harry wandered back to the frames and looked at the few he really liked. He then looked at the prices for them. Not sure how much money he really had with him, he quickly glanced at the counter and noticing the professor and doctor were in conversation, pulled out his money and counted it up. After putting the money back in his pocket, he picked up the frames he really wanted. He glanced at the price again and set them down depressed. He didn't have enough money for them. Looking at the prices for the other two frames he liked, he realized he wasn't able to afford those either. His only option would be to see if the professor would let him go to Gringotts.

* * *

When Harry went to look at frames, Severus walked up to the counter to speak with the doctor. "How is Harry's vision, Dr. Jenkins," he asked as he approached.

"I am happy to say that your son has perfect vision Mr. Evans." He took the parchments that Severus had given him earlier and with a flick of his wand, they floated towards a room in the back of the office. "Even though Harry has perfect vision, it would be best if he get his eyes checked once a year. Here are the exam results and bill for the exam." Dr. Jenkins set the parchment on the counter and picked up another set of forms. "Danielle, I'll be ready for you in a few minutes," he announced, looking at the little girl in the waiting room.

Severus picked up the results and began reviewing them as Harry walked over to him. "Profe…" He stopped immediately when Severus swiftly turned toward him and narrowed his eyes. Oh yeah, he couldn't address the man that way. Hopefully no one heard his slip. He looked around and luckily the girl and her mother were not paying any attention to them. He gulped, not really wanting to address the man as was required. He walked up to Severus and looked to the parchment the professor was reading, not wanting to look the professor in the eyes. "Erm, fa…father," the word was almost painful to say, "do you think we could go to…"

Severus didn't let Harry finish once he saw Harry didn't have any frames in his hand. "Did you find a pair of frames you like?" he asked.

Harry looked over to the display holding the frames he really wanted and then turned back to Severus. "I… Could we please stop at Gringotts?" he asked.

"There is no need to go to Gringotts, Harry," Severus stated, with finality to his voice.

"But I…" Harry again looked to the frames he really wanted. If the professor wasn't going to allow him to go to the bank, then he had no way of getting the frames he wanted. And he did not want to explain why he wanted to go to the bank. He sighed. "I really don't need new frames. I'll, I'll just stick to the ones I have," he said sadly. He then tried to glance at the bill for his exam. Hopefully he had enough to cover that.

Unfortunately, Severus placed his arm on top of it as he turned towards him. "Harry, go get the frames you want."

A knot formed in Harry's stomach. He dreaded having to tell the professor he didn't have enough money for them. Especially since earlier in the week he told the man he had enough money to buy a new pair. He slowly raised his head and looked to Severus. "I can't…"

"Harry," Severus interrupted softly. "Go get them." He nodded in the direction of the display.

Harry kept eye contact with Severus for a few more seconds then slowly left to retrieve the frames he wanted. When he got back over to Severus, he placed them on the counter.

Severus picked them up and looked them over. "These are really nice. A definite improvement over what you currently have."

"But I can't afford them!" Harry blurted out. "I don't have enough money for the frames and the exam. If we can go to Gringotts first, then…"

"Nonsense." Severus replied, and then led Harry to a corner in the office, a hand on the boy's shoulder. He leaned over until he was eye level with Harry. "You are not paying for the frames or the exam, Harry. You are to only spend your money on things you _want_, not need. Your money is for you to save if you so wish or to spend on frivolous items like candy, books, magazines, games; things of that nature. Clothes, food, school supplies, anything related to your health, and items like that are things I will provide for. Understand?"

Harry wanted to scream at the man that he had taken care of himself and paid for everything for the last fifteen years and he could continue to do so, but he couldn't utter a word. He could only stare at the professor. He was shocked speechless, though feeling extremely uncomfortable. Never had anyone, not even his own relatives, willingly spent their own money on him; birthday and Christmas gifts from his friends excluded. And now the professor, a man who hated him for over five years, just told him he would do that? All Harry could do in response was nod that he understood.

Severus squeezed Harry's shoulder. "Let me take care of the glasses and bill and we can be on our way." When Harry dropped his eyes to the ground a few seconds, he walked back up to the counter. Severus picked up the frames Harry wanted and placed them on top of the bill. "Can you add these frames to the bill please," Severus addressed the doctor.

Dr. Jenkins looked to the frames. "Harry has no need for glasses, Mr. Evans. He has perfect vision."

"These frames currently have clear lenses do they not?" Severus asked. The doctor nodded. "Good. Please add them to the bill."

Without a question, though still wondering why the glasses were wanted, the doctor adjusted the bill, grabbed a new pair of frames from the store room and set them both back on the counter.

Harry had walked up to the counter while Severus was talking to Dr. Jenkins and after the revised bill was placed on the counter, he was finally able to glance at the total. He couldn't believe how much the bill was! His eyes then traveled up to the professor, ready for the man's usual personality to show. However, there was no glaring, yelling, or anything of that nature to him or to the doctor for the amount of the bill. The professor just pulled out his money and paid the amount due. Harry looked at the man's uncharacteristically calm face again then backed away from the counter and quickly left the office, suddenly needing some air.

Once outside, he found a bench two stores away and sat down. He put his elbows on his thighs and dropped his head in his hands, breathing heavily. He was not ready for this! It was only a few days ago he finally realized the man was not playing a joke on him. He still wasn't sure what he felt about it yet. And now, the professor said he never had to pay for anything important? It was all too much.

* * *

Severus watched Harry almost run out of the office. "Thank you for your assistance," he said quickly to Dr. Jenkins. Without another word, he grabbed the frames, exam results and bill, and placed them in his pocket as he quickly followed after Harry.

After getting outside, he spotted Harry seated on the bench. He walked over and sat down on the other side. He turned so he was facing Harry and put his right arm on the back of the bench. "Are you all right?"

Harry dropped his arms and looked over to Severus a minute later. "I don't know," he answered honestly.

"I understand," Severus replied. It was obvious Harry was still having a difficult time with everything.

"Thanks profe…er," he looked away from Severus, "fa…father, for the frames and exam." He better remember to call the professor that, as hard as it was. There was no telling who would be around if he let the professor's name slip. Luckily there was currently no one in earshot.

"Shall we continue on?" Severus asked.

"Ok." Harry looked back to Severus. "Where are we going next?"

Severus stood up. "I'd like to complete all the necessary stops first. Since the apothecary is only a few stores away, let's head there. I need to pick up a few items." He began walking toward the apothecary. Harry got up from the bench and followed after the professor.

When they reached the apothecary, Severus entered, but Harry stood just outside the door. He didn't really want to go in. He was never fond of the shop. All the glass jars, along one side of the shop, holding unidentifiable things always turned his stomach. As much as he didn't want to go inside, he knew he had to. There was no sense, this early on in their trip, in aggravating the professor with wanting to stay outside. He pulled open the door and hesitantly entered the dimly lit shop.

The moment Harry entered, the overwhelming smell of all the various items in the store made it extremely difficult for him to breath. Not to mention it was aggravating his already aching head. Beginning to feel slightly lightheaded and nauseated, he searched the shop. Spotting Severus bagging some dry ingredients along the far wall, he walked over.

Out of the corner of his eye, Severus saw Harry approach his side. "Harry, if you could please do me a favor, I need…" He immediately stopped talking the moment he looked at Harry's face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Harry lied, as he leaned almost all his weight on the table that was holding the many large glass containers of various herbs. He was beginning to feel like he would pass out. And the longer he stayed in the shop, the harder it seemed to be for him to breathe.

Severus narrowed his eyes as he studied Harry's face. "I know the various smells in here affect many people. You can go wait for me on the bench we just came from. I shouldn't be very long. Or, if I know you, you probably want to visit the Quidditch shop. Go ahead. Whatever you decide, meet me at the bench in thirty minutes."

"Thank you," Harry replied relieved, and quickly exited the apothecary.

After Harry exited the shop, he took a few deep breaths of fresh air. Still feeling slightly lightheaded, he wandered over to the bench and took a seat. He really wanted to check out Quality Quidditch Supplies, but at the moment, he wasn't feeling up to it. He decided to just sit and people watch while he waited until he didn't feel so lightheaded.

* * *

Severus exited the apothecary while shrinking his packages and placing them in his pocket. He hadn't really wanted to carry them, but he thought it would be highly suspicious if he asked the store owner to have his packages shipped to the Hogwarts potions master. He could have used the charm he placed on the forms at the optometrist, but it wasn't worth the time for the items he purchased.

Knowing he still had about ten minutes before Harry was to meet him, Severus slowly wandered over to the bench. He was slightly shocked when he spotted Harry already waiting for him. "You've already finished looking through the Quidditch shop?" he asked as he came to the front of the bench.

Having been lost in people watching, Harry jumped slightly. He didn't even see the professor approach from his right. He looked up to Severus who was now standing in front of him. "I never really made it there." He shrugged. "I guess I got caught up in people watching. I don't get to see many wizards or witches outside of school," he added embarrassedly.

"I see." Severus looked around the street. There _were_ plenty of witches and wizards wandering about. Most were dressed in the normal wizard attire or as muggles, but there were quiet a lot who were wearing odd looking robes or cloaks. His eyes wandered back to Harry. "I have already completed the one task I needed for myself. Did you want to go to the Quidditch shop first? Or would you like to just wander up and down the street? It's up to you."

Harry really wanted to wander around Diagon Alley. He liked looking in the windows of all the stores and sometimes even going in to the odder ones. But would the professor want that? He had a feeling the professor was the type to go directly where he needed to go without making any nonessential stops. But Severus did just say it was up to him. "If you don't mind, could we just wander around?" Harry responded timidly.

"Of course. Did I not just tell you that?" He watched as Harry bit his lip and looked down to the ground. "Come along. You can lead. If there is any shop you'd like to visit, go right ahead. I will not stop you."

Smiling, Harry stood up and began strolling up Diagon Alley, the professor next to him. As they came across shops, the two would stop and look in all the windows, however they only went in a few of them.

After walking out of a candy store with empty hands, Severus had to remind Harry that if there was something he wanted to buy, he could. Harry walked back in the candy shop, slightly embarrassed, and bought a few pieces of candy.

Two hours later, Harry watched as Severus shrunk his latest purchase, a few jokes from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes; one store where Severus made the decision on what could be purchased. Little did Severus know just how many things Fred and George gave him all the time. This shrunken package joined the others from Eeylops Owl Emporium, Quality Quidditch Supply, and a stationers. All were now residing in Harry inside jacket pocket.

Putting his wand away, Severus just stared at Harry for a few moments, almost scrutinizing him. "I've got one more stop we need to make," he stated as he turned around and headed back up the street. Severus led him to a high end clothing shop just past Magical Menagerie.

Harry looked at Severus in confusion, but followed Severus inside. He didn't think the professor needed any clothes, but who was he to say so. His confusion intensified as they wandered upstairs and bypassed the men's clothing. He didn't realize what they were doing there until he was standing in the middle of the boy's clothing section.

"I'm not sure of your size," Severus said while pulling a pair of black trousers from a rack and holding them in front of Harry.

"I don't need any clothes," Harry quickly stated.

"Based on what I see you currently wearing and what I've seen you wear in the past, you do."

Harry looked to the ground, his face beginning to turn red from embarrassment. He had hoped the man hadn't really noticed his clothing. No one else had all these years. "I don't…"

"DON'T, finish that statement," Severus interrupted. He put back the pair of trousers and pulled out a larger size. "What size do you wear?"

"I don't know." He bit his lip in humiliation. "The Dursley's just give me Dudley's old hand-me-downs and I never paid attention to the sizes on my Hogwarts clothes."

"Very well." He handed the pair of trousers in his hand to Harry and pulled another one the next size up and handed them to Harry as well. "We'll have you try these two on and we'll go from there."

They spent the next forty-five minutes going from section to section in the same way. With arms laden with clothes, Harry went to the dressing room and tried on all the clothes. Once all the clothes were selected, they stopped in the shoe department and the socks/underwear/pajama department as well.

An hour later, and after paying for their purchases, Harry had four new casual outfits, three new sets of pants and shirts for school, a pair of trainers and dressier shoes, two sets of pajamas and a robe, and quite a few pairs of underwear and socks. Severus had this packaged and shipped to Hogwarts using the same spell that he placed on the parchments at the optometrist.

Harry hadn't said a word while Severus paid the clerk for their purchases. He just stared at all his new clothes with his lips pressed tightly together, too overwhelmed with emotion to speak.

* * *

Standing in the middle of the street, outside the clothing store, Severus was just going to ask what Harry wanted to do next when he heard the boy's stomach growl. "I think it's about time for lunch," he said slightly amused. "Is there any other place here you'd like to see before we leave?"

Harry whipped his head around toward Severus, the fast movement causing the pounding in his head to resume. He didn't want to go back to Hogwarts so soon. True, he was with the professor and he had a very bad headache, but he was actually having a lot of fun. "No. I've looked in all the shops that interested me," he reluctantly answered.

"What would you like to eat?" Severus asked as he led Harry back in the direction of the Leaky Cauldron.

Putting his hands in his pants pockets, Harry looked up to Severus with confusion. Students only ate what was presented in the Great Hall. You could never tell the elves what you wanted; well except the headmaster, Harry mused. "Whatever Hogwarts is serving. Like always." Harry answered, feeling slightly depressed as they walked into the dimly lit pub.

After entering the crowded pub, Harry began walking towards the fireplace to floo back to Hogwarts, not paying any attention to Severus.

"Harry, where are you going?" Severus asked, as soon as he noticed Harry was no longer next to him.

Harry abruptly stopped walking and saw that Severus was a few feet away. "Aren't we going back to…to…home, father?" Harry asked, conscious of the many people within earshot of him and Severus. "You said we were leaving."

"Leaving Diagon Alley, yes. Have we made all our required stops?" Severus queried as Harry walked up to him.

"Yes." Harry then noticed Severus was looking at his hair. "Erm, no. I guess not," he added sheepishly. How could he forget that he hadn't gotten his haircut?

Severus raised an amused eyebrow. "What would you like to eat for lunch? Is there anything you have been craving?" he asked, as he began walking toward the pub's exit.

Harry bit his bottom lip as he tried to come up with something. He'd never really been asked what he wanted to eat before. While at Hogwarts, he always ate whatever the school's elves served. When he stayed with Ron, he ate whatever Mrs. Weasley cooked. And over the summer holidays, he would eat whatever scraps the Dursley's decided to give him.

What had he always wanted to eat? A picture of a diner appeared in Harry's mind. He had been cleaning the Dursley's living room over the summer and Dudley had the telly on. He couldn't remember what the show was, besides that it was from America, but he remembered a group of kids seated at a diner eating cheeseburgers, fries and milk shakes. He surprisingly had never been able to eat that type of food before. Stuff like that wasn't normally served at Hogwarts and the Dursley's would in no way let him eat a cheeseburger. "Could we go to a place where they have cheeseburgers, fries and milk shakes? I've always wanted to try them."

Severus pushed open the door of the pub and let Harry exit first. "There is a place just down Charing Cross Road, a block past the record store." As the two walked, Severus couldn't believe Harry had never had a cheeseburger before. It wasn't common food to wizards, but they were still eaten at times. Did Harry's relatives forbid him to eat various foods? He really needed to sit down with Harry and find out about his time with the Dursley's.

Harry squinted as he followed Severus the block down to the restaurant. The early afternoon sky was exceedingly bright compared to the dimly lit pub and it felt like each ray of sunshine was stabbing his eyes. The entered the restaurant and were led to a booth off to the side. The waitress handed them laminated menus, took their drink order, then left them to decide on what to eat.

Five minutes later, with their drinks on the table and lunch having been ordered Severus crossed his arms on the table and looked at Harry. "How are you enjoying the day so far?" he asked, extremely interested in Harry's response. He hoped the day was a success so far, and judging from Harry's reactions, it had. But he still wanted to hear it from Harry.

"It's been brilliant," Harry stated enthusiastically. 'I'm having loads of fun. Thank you so much for everything." It was true. He was having a blast, but he knew he'd enjoy himself more if his head didn't hurt. He almost mentioned to the professor that he had a really bad headache, but he held his tongue. He didn't want to ruin the day by the professor saying they had to head back to the castle.

"I'm glad to hear you're enjoying yourself. I hope the rest of the day will be as fun for you." He ignored the confused look Harry gave him. "After we're finished with lunch, we will get your haircut."

Harry nodded in response while he grabbed his glass of water and took a few sips. He felt a tickle in his throat and wanted to relieve it before it caused him to cough. No doubt the cough would aggravate his aching head. He was about to ask what they would be doing after his haircut, but the waitress arrived with their food.

Once the waitress set their lunch on the table and left, Harry immediately grabbed the frosty glass holding his chocolate shake and tried to take a sip. He had been itching to taste it since he mentioned it to Severus. The shake was so thick that all he accomplished at his first sip was to suck in his cheeks so he looked like a fish. He removed the straw from his mouth, took a few breaths and tried again. This time he was successful. He swallowed and was surprised at how good the icy drink felt on his throat. He hadn't noticed that his throat was bothering him until that first sip of his shake. He took another sip and couldn't help a "Mmm," once he swallowed.

After swallowing a spoon full of his chili, Severus looked up to Harry. "Are you enjoying your shake?"

Harry set the shake down on the table and looked up to Severus. "It's as good as I imagined. I bet they serve these at Fortescue's. I've never looked the times I've been there. I always wanted just ice cream. I'll have to remember next time."

Severus just looked at Harry slightly amused and slightly saddened. The more he learned about Harry's past, the more deprived of everyday things he realized the boy was. He watched Harry set aside his shake and take a bite of his cheeseburger. Why did he allow his son to grow up the way he had? Harry could have had everything if he had been living with him instead of the Dursley's. Why did Lily keep Harry from him?

Faint memories assaulted Severus' mind moments later. _He_ had been the one to give up Harry; pleading with Lily and James to raise him. _He_ was the one who thought Harry would be safer if he wasn't around. It was because of _him_ that Harry had grown up the way he had; abused physically and emotionally. At that realization, Severus abruptly stood up and left the table, spilling his water all over the table in the process.

Startled, Harry watched the professor walk away until he was out of sight. He swallowed the food he had been eating and set the cheeseburger down on the plate. His appetite was now gone, not that he had much to begin with. What had he done to cause the professor to leave? Before he could even contemplate answering himself, their waitress appeared.

"Is your father okay?" she asked as she pulled out a rag from her apron pocket. "Let me clean this up for you." She wiped up the spilled water and refilled the glass.

Harry didn't answer her. He was too consumed in thoughts of what he might have done that caused the professor to leave.

* * *

_Sorry about the long wait between updates. Harry Potter took over my life...the Lego video game. :) It's addicting. Anyway, like always, thanks for all the reviews and alerts. They mean a lot. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. _

_If there's anything you think I could do to improve or if there's something that's a bit confusing, please let me know.  
_


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Severus stood in front of a sink in the restaurant's restroom. He turned on the tap, cupped his hands under the cold water, and brought the water to his face. Opening his eyes, he turned off the tap. With hands on either side of the sink, he stared at his reflection in the mirror, glad he wasn't really seeing himself right now.

Luckily the memories he just saw were not full strength. He was somewhat glad that the memories resided in the bottle in his quarters at Hogwarts. He already hated himself for what he did to Harry. What would he feel if the memories resided in him right now?

He then began to feel a little unsettled that he didn't fully remember the past. Without putting his real memories back, would he soon forget everything and revert back to his old thoughts and feelings of Harry? He hoped not, but he knew it could be a possibility. A possibility he didn't want to think of right now. Right now he had to think about Harry and the day they were spending together.

Harry. His son. Never would he have thought that he'd care so much for the child; any child actually. Even though he was a professor, he couldn't stand children. But Harry was different. Harry was his. Part Lily and part him; his own flesh and blood.

Thinking back to the past five years, he wished he could have been there to protect the boy from everything he had to endure at Hogwarts. He shivered at the realization that Harry had come face to face with the Dark Lord every year since he was eleven, and had watched two people die in front of him.

What of his life growing up as well? He now knew Harry wasn't the spoiled child he took him for all these years. Everything the boy had gone through was his fault; all the physical abuse as well as the emotional. Severus began to feel slightly sick.

Severus owed Harry so much. He just hoped the boy would give him a chance. He really wanted Harry in his life…to be the father he never thought he'd ever have the chance of being. Never again would he let Harry endure life's hardships alone. And never again would he treat the boy as he had in the past. He never wanted to hurt Harry again. Instead he wanted to take away all of Harry's pain.

He would always be there for Harry. Unless Harry didn't want him in his life. He did give Harry that option so he knew he might end up having to live without the boy. He closed his eyes and took a long deep breath at that thought. It wouldn't do to think negatively right now.

With eyes still closed, he blindly grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser in front of him and dried off his face. He slowly opened his eyes and looked in the mirror again. It was time for him to head back out. He had so much he needed to do for Harry and staying here staring at himself wasn't going to accomplish anything. Throwing the paper towel in the rubbish bin, he left the restroom and went back to their table.

* * *

A painful knot began to form in Harry's stomach. He was feeling both miserable and angry. Miserable because he didn't know what he did to make the professor abruptly leave, as he had been on his best behavior, and angry at the man because instead of letting him know what he did wrong, he just up and left.

Harry then began to feel slightly worried. What if the professor didn't come back? What was he supposed to do? He had no trouble getting back to Hogwarts. That was easy. It was their lunch. He didn't have any Muggle money on him. How was he supposed to pay for lunch? How long should he wait for the professor to come back before he should come up with a solution? The knot in his stomach intensified.

He felt so stupid. He couldn't believe he actually began to trust the professor. And this is what he got for it? He crossed his arms on the table and buried his head in them. Right now all he wanted to do was go back to Hogwarts. He didn't even care if he never got the haircut and everyone continued to question him on his appearance.

A few minutes later, Harry heard the chair across from him scrape the floor. With slight relief, Harry raised his head but kept his eyes downcast, staring at his crossed arms. He didn't feel like looking at the professor just now. As he sat there, he fought against asking the one question that had been burning in his mind since the professor abruptly left the table.

Severus had expected questions the moment he came back to the table. He was slightly taken aback at Harry's lack of questions and lack of any type of acknowledgment when he sat down. Resting his elbows on the table and clasping his hands in front of his face, Severus regarded Harry. Instead of being cheerful like he was minutes ago, the boy looked unhappy. It came as a slight shock to realize he had more than likely caused that emotion in Harry. He knew immediately that he owed Harry an explanation as to why he left like he did minutes ago. He just didn't want to go in to details on what exactly caused it. It would probably cause Harry to become more upset.

Clearing his throat, Severus dropped his hands to the tabletop. "I apologize for the way I left the table a few minutes ago."

Harry slowly raised his eyes to look at the professor. "What did I do?" Harry asked somewhat defensively, before he could stop himself. He hadn't intended to voice that question at all, let alone in that tone.

"Nothing," Severus answered quickly, and noticed the hurt in Harry's eyes. He knitted his brow in confusion at the question. "What makes you think you did something?"

"I always do something." Harry lowered his eyes, grabbed his shake and took a sip, just wanting to forget about the past few minutes.

"Again, you did nothing." Harry still didn't look convinced to Severus. "I had just remembered something and needed to take care of it. I am sorry for the way I left. I didn't intend for my actions to cause you to think you did something."

The apology, so rare for the man to give, lifted Harry's mood. "Okay." Harry took another sip of his shake and set it aside. The knot in his stomach was lessening and he now began to feel slightly guilty for thinking the things he did while the professor was gone. He pulled his plate back in front of him and took a few more bites of his burger. Deciding he wasn't all that hungry a few moments later, he pushed the burger away again and just continued to periodically sip his shake.

After Severus finished his meal, he noticed Harry's plate looked pretty much untouched. Setting his spoon in his empty bowl and pushing it to the side, he crossed his arms on the table and studied Harry. Harry had one hand around his shake and the other was rubbing his forehead while he was squinting, as if the light in the restaurant was hurting his eyes. Something seemed slightly off about him. "Harry, are you feeling okay?"

That was not a question Harry wanted to hear from the professor. So far he thought he had been doing a good job of hiding how he felt. He looked up, dropping his hand from his forehead. "I'm fine." He took a small fry off his plate and popped it in his mouth. He decided he'd better try harder to hide how he was really feeling.

Severus continued to study Harry and decided to let the subject drop for now. "Are you done eating?" He nodded to Harry's plate.

Harry looked at his untouched food. There was no way he could eat anymore. "Yes. The shake filled me up," he lied. Then he realized how much food he was wasting. He looked to Severus with alarm. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so much food. But not knowing how much…"

"Don't worry about it," Severus said as he held a hand up to stop Harry from apologizing. "It's all right."

A few minutes later the waitress came by and dropped the check off in front of Severus. He looked at the check and set some money on the table. Pulling on his coat, he looked to Harry. "If you're through, I think it's best if we get your haircut before we continue on."

"Continue on?" What else did the professor have planned? He thought after the haircut they would go back to Hogwarts.

"I thought you might enjoy spending the rest of the day in London." He waited expectantly for Harry's reaction and wasn't disappointed.

"Really?" Harry now had a huge smile on his face, any trace of his former feelings gone. "I've never really been to London. Well, except for when Hagrid picked me up before my first year and then when I've been taken to Kings Cross every September." Harry pulled his jacket on as well then got up from the table. Now he really had to hide how he was feeling. He couldn't miss London.

* * *

"We'll have to wait until we are back at Hogwarts, but I don't think you'll have as many questions about your appearance as you have had," Severus addressed Harry as they walked out of the barber shop forty minutes after leaving the restaurant.

"Great! I can't wait to see." Harry turned and looked at his reflection in the barber shop window, even though he just saw himself in the mirror mere moments ago inside. It was still odd to not see himself when looking in a mirror. "Thanks for the haircut by the way," he added as he turned back to Severus.

Severus nodded. "I thought we could wander down toward the Thames. Unless you have any other ideas?"

"Being as I've never really been here before, that sounds good...father."

"Let's go then," Severus stated and led the way back towards Charing Cross Road then down toward the Thames.

* * *

While walking along the Thames, Harry spotted a boat loaded with tourist listening to a narrator as it slowly passed by. He watched the boat until it was out of sight.

Severus, having been watching Harry off and on their entire trip, noticed Harry watching the boat. "Would you like to go for a tour?" he asked.

Harry tore his eyes from the river and looked to the professor. He really did want to go on a tour, but the man had already spent way too much money on him today. He shook his head. "No. That's okay," he responded quietly.

"Don't lie to me Harry. I can see that you do." Severus looked up and down the river bank and spotted the pier where the tours were leaving from. "Come on."

Hating himself for giving away that he really wanted to go on the boat, Harry stayed rooted to the spot he was on and stared at the river, ignoring Severus walking away. He couldn't help but feel guilty at having the man spend money on him.

Severus walked a few paces and noticed Harry wasn't walking next to him. He turned around and saw Harry had not moved. He observed the boy for a few moments and having an idea what was going on, walked back over and stood just to the side of him. "Harry." When Harry turned toward him, he placed his hands on Harry's shoulders and leaned down so he was eye level. He waited until Harry looked up to him before speaking. "I know that so far today you have probably experienced may things you are unaccustomed to, especially having things purchased for you." He watched Harry reluctantly nod his head. "You shouldn't have had to grow up without any of these experiences. I don't know what all your relatives said or did to you, but these are just some of the things you will _always_ have from now on. These are all things that you _deserve_ Harry."

A painful lump in Harry's throat prevented him from speaking and he pressed his lips tightly together. He looked down to the ground as he felt a prickling behind his eyes.

"Look at me please, Harry," Severus asked quietly. When Harry wouldn't raise his head, Severus gently lifted Harry's chin so he would look up. Even though Harry's head was raised, he still kept his eyes averted. "Harry." At the soft tone, Harry finally lifted his eyes to meet Severus'. "I will do everything in my power to give you the life you should have deserved from the beginning. Contrary to what you probably think, you _are_ worth every second and every little bit of money I spend on you."

Harry nodded and a few tears escaped down his cheek. Severus wiped them away and gave his shoulders a comforting squeeze. "Come along," Severus began and he started to lead the way to Westminster Pier, a hand still on Harry's shoulder. "Let's see what kind of tours are offered."

* * *

The two boarded a tour boat off of Westminster Pier forty minutes later. Harry, after Severus' insistence, chose a city cruise that stopped at various locations along the river to let everyone off to tour the famous landmarks. This tour would allow them as much time as they wanted to take in the sights along the river and then return to the boat whenever they felt like it. Boats stopped at every location every twenty minutes or so. Harry thought this was a great idea since they weren't confined to the boat and if they wanted to walk around, they still had transportation when they were done.

While walking around Somerset House near the start of their city cruise, Harry began to feel not quite right. He had his headache of course, but added to that now was just a dull ache to his entire body. He toyed with the idea of mentioning it to the professor but knew they'd immediately go back to the castle. He couldn't miss seeing London so he continued to keep quiet and keep up his appearance that nothing was wrong.

Their cruise continued past the OXO tower, the Tate Modern art gallery, through London Bridge, past Canary Wharf and Greenwich with Harry, and even Severus, wanting to get off the boat at different times. The cruise and tour of historic landmarks gave the two a look at Muggle London they might never have seen.

Since they took the opportunity to stop at all the locations on the first part of the cruise, they just sat and enjoyed the passing scenery on the way back to Westminster Pier.

* * *

It was getting late in the afternoon and Severus was tired. He knew Harry had to be as well. He noticed that Harry hadn't been as talkative as he was at the start of their trip and was now walking very sluggishly. Instead of walking back to the Leaky Cauldron, as he had initially planned, Severus decided they would take a bus back. Glad he earlier picked up a map that showed all the bus stop locations, he stopped walking and pulled it out of his pocket to find the closest stop. Seeing the closest one was a few blocks in the direction they just came from, Severus steered Harry back in that direction.

At the bus stop, Severus looked at the schedule to see which route they would need to get them closest to the Leaky Cauldron. Unfortunately the closest one still had them walking five blocks. Deciding five blocks was better than a few miles, Severus decided that would be the route they would take. As the next bus wasn't due for another ten minutes, they had to pass the time standing around. The only available bench was occupied and there was no other place to sit.

They got on the bus ten minutes later, with Severus paying for their tickets while Harry found them a seat. Half way to the back, Harry found an empty row and scooted in sitting next to the window, almost groaning as he did so. Severus unbuttoned his coat and sat down next to Harry at the aisle, a minute later.

Harry, feeling worse then he had all day, leaned his head back against the seat, crossed his arms against his chest and closed his eyes as the bus started to move.

At a stop a while later, Severus felt something fall onto his upper right arm. Ready to yell at whoever threw something at him, he looked to his right and saw that it was actually Harry. His head was lying against his upper arm and he was asleep. Severus gave a small smile. In looking closer, he noticed that even though it was warm on the bus and Harry had his jacket pulled tight over himself, he was still shivering.

Feeling completely awkward and unsure, Severus removed his arm that was pinned between his side and Harry and scooted closer to him. He then wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulders, trying to offer some warmth. As he sat there with Harry's head slightly on his chest, he noticed that it felt warm. Too warm, actually.

Extremely concerned, he placed the back of his hand on Harry's forehead and then moved it to his cheek. The boy was sporting a pretty high fever. He then realized Harry's breathing seemed to be somewhat congested. Severus sighed. Harry never seemed to catch a break. First he found out his parents were not who he thought they where, then he had that accident in the storeroom a little over a week ago and now he was sick. He _knew_ there was something wrong with Harry when he asked at lunch. Why didn't he continue to press the issue?

He then began to feel slightly uncomfortable with the situation. What was he supposed to do? What if it was something serious? Sure, he had handled plenty of sick Slytherins over the years, but all he had to do with them was send them off to the hospital wing. Harry was different. Harry was _his_ responsibility and he would _not_ be sending Harry to the hospital wing.

In his initial panic over Harry, he completely forgot he was a potions master. It wasn't until he looked down to Harry two minutes later, when he was calmed down, that he remembered. Thinking more clearly, he knew there was nothing he could do to help Harry at the moment. He would just have to wait until they made it to Diagon Alley.

Feeling Harry shivering against him, he pulled the boy closer, almost to the point of having him sitting on his lap, and grabbed the side of his coat as he again wrapped his arm around him. He hoped the added warmth of what little his coat could offer would make Harry more comfortable. They sat that way for about fifteen minutes, with Severus feeling more and more relaxed with trying to provide Harry comfort as the time went by. It now felt natural.

Seeing their stop was coming up ahead, Severus began to wake Harry. He spoke quietly to the top of Harry's head at first. "Harry, we're almost there. It's time to wake up." Having received no response, he began rubbing his hand up and down Harry's arm. "Come on Harry, wake up," he said a little louder then lightly shook him. "Wake up Harry." He then went back to rubbing Harry's arm.

Harry slowly opened his eyes and noticed his vision was slightly obscured. He blinked a few times, hoping to adjust his eyes, but the view was no different. He then felt his head moving slightly up and down, a weight against his shoulders and a hand rubbing his arm. It then dawned on him. He was lying against the professor! In extreme embarrassment he snapped his eyes open and rushed to sit up, the quick movement causing the pounding in his head to resume.

"It's okay Harry, stay still." Severus gently tried to push Harry back against him.

Harry wanted to sit up, but at the gentle pressure, he returned his head to Severus' chest. Trying to get over his embarrassment he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Unfortunately the last breath resulted in a sneeze.

With his free hand, Severus dug through his coat until he found a handkerchief, then handed it to Harry.

Harry took the offered cloth and wiped at his nose. "Where are we?" he asked somewhat groggily while trying to look up to Severus.

"We're almost to our stop." He looked down to Harry with concern. "How are you feeling?" he asked as he ran his fingers through Harry's hair once and moved his arm back around Harry's shoulders.

Harry closed his eyes at the feeling of Severus' actions. Then he thought of what Severus asked. That was the last question he had wanted to hear. He had tried so hard for the entire trip to hide his growing illness. And then he had to go and fall asleep; against the professor no less. Harry didn't answer. He just wrapped his arms tighter around his body, trying to control his shivering. He was so cold.

Severus pulled Harry towards him even more. "Harry, I know you are feeling unwell."

"I'm…I'm cold," he finally confessed, then yawned.

"You have a fever. What else is bothering you?" He may not be able to do anything about Harry's illness now, but at least he'd know what was needed the minute they got back to Diagon Alley.

"I have a headache and I feel achy." He pulled away, sneezed again and then went in to a coughing fit. When it was over, he immediately leaned back against Severus.

"And you have some congestion." Severus returned to rubbing Harry's arm, while he thought about the symptoms. "I think you have the flu that has been going around the school." The bus stopped and Severus watched as some people got off. They were now alone in their part of the bus. Once the bus started again, Severus looked back down to Harry. "When did this start?"

Harry didn't answer right away. He was too caught up in the comfort Severus was providing him just by wrapping an arm around him and rubbing his arm. Not to mention when the man ran his hand through his hair just a few moments ago. It was nice and it made him feel warm inside. It was something he hadn't ever experienced before, and he knew immediately, he'd want it again.

Harry finally answered Severus when he felt his arm being squeezed. "This morning, I guess. I woke up with a headache. But I thought it was because I didn't sleep well last night. I didn't know I was sick."

Severus nodded. "And when did you realize you _were_ sick?"

"Around lunch, I guess."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Harry closed his eyes. He had no idea what Severus' reaction would be once he found out. "I didn't want you to take me back to the castle. I've been looking forward to this day all week. And then I found out what else you had planned. This was the very first time I've ever really been to London. I didn't want to miss it," he admitted.

"Harry, you're health is more important than a trip to London." He could feel Harry deflate against him. "We would have gone back to the castle, yes, but I would have rescheduled our trip."

"You would have?" Harry asked surprised. He would have bet anything that the man would have said it was a one-time offer. He lifted his head off of Severus' chest to look up at him.

"Yes. I would not have denied you this opportunity just because you happened to get ill. This was not a once in a lifetime outing." Severus again nudged Harry's head back to his chest. "Relax and stay still Harry. I don't want you moving unless absolutely necessary. We still need to walk five blocks to the Leaky Cauldron once we get off the bus. But don't go back to sleep," he added as he watched Harry close his eyes.

Harry opened his eyes and tried to keep them open. It was just very hard to do so. He was way too comfortable and relaxed and it was extremely easy to just go back to sleep.

Two minutes later they arrived at their stop. Severus stood up and let Harry get off the bus first. The change from the warm bus to the cold outside air caused Harry to start coughing the moment he got off.

Severus quickly followed Harry off the bus. He had wanted to lay his coat over Harry on the bus to keep him warm, but he didn't want to wake him by moving in order to so. As soon as he stepped foot on the ground, he immediately took off his coat and held it out for Harry. "Here, put this on."

"I can't. It's yours." He did not want to take Severus' coat. It was the man's only source for warmth, and it was really cold out. Or at least he thought it was. Besides, it seemed a little awkward.

"I do not want you to get worse." Severus shook the coat in front of Harry.

Harry reluctantly took the coat and Severus helped him put it on. As Severus was taller, the coat was a little long for him, but it was short enough that he wouldn't trip on it.

When Harry had the coat buttoned up, they started their trek to Diagon Alley. Halfway there, Harry's walking had slowed down dramatically. While waiting to cross the street at an intersection, Severus turned to Harry, who was leaning heavily against the light post. "How are you holding up? Do you think you can make it?" He was beginning to get worried.

Harry wanted to say yes, that he could make it since he had been feeling miserable almost the entire trip. But now, with Severus knowing he was sick and with how awful he felt, he couldn't lie anymore. He looked up to Severus with pain-filled eyes. "I don't think so," he quietly admitted. All he wanted to do was lie curled up in a ball on the ground and sleep, hoping it would make the pain go away. He didn't want to walk the rest of the way to Diagon Alley. Why didn't he just tell Severus he wasn't feeling well earlier? Then right now he could be in a nice warm soft bed instead of walking on a sidewalk in the cold early evening air.

At the look Harry gave him, and the pain apparent on his face, Severus wished they could apparate directly to Hogwarts. But with the condition that Harry was in, apparating wasn't an option. He would just have to help Harry the best he could. When the light changed, signaling they could cross the street, Severus held out his left arm. "Over here."

Harry, surprising himself, looked at Severus' arm with longing. Though it wouldn't make the pain go away, he really wanted the comfort he felt on the bus. Slowly he walked over.

The second Harry was next to him Severus wrapped his arm around him. "Come on, we'll get there together."

Harry immediately wrapped his right arm around Severus' waist and leaned against him. As they walked across the street, Harry began to feel awful about lying to the professor. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

At those words, Severus gave Harry a squeeze. "There's no need to feel sorry. Let's just get you back to the castle and get you well."

They finally arrived at the Leaky Cauldron five minutes later. When they first got off the bus, Severus was intent on going to the apothecary for some potions. But now all he wanted to do was get Harry to bed first; the boy could hardly stand. They entered the pub and headed straight for the floo. I don't feel comfortable having you floo by yourself so we'll go together." He gently pushed Harry into the fireplace and stood next to him. "Hold on tight."

Harry held on to Severus and closed his eyes tight. Under normal circumstances he sometimes felt sick after using the floo. He didn't want to know what he would feel like when he already felt this ill.

A second later they landed in their living room and Harry began coughing violently, bent over at the waist. Severus conjured a glass of water and handed it to Harry. "Drink." He placed a hand on Harry's back while the boy continued coughing.

Harry took the glass and tried to take a few sips around his coughing, noticing the small circles Severus was rubbing on his back. When the fit finally subsided, he stood up straight and took a few more sips of the cool liquid. "Thanks." He handed the glass back to Severus who unfortunately removed his hand from his back and placed the glass on the coffee table.

Severus nodded and held out his wand. "Stand still Harry." He waved the wand over first Harry and them himself to change their appearances back to normal. "There, that's better."

Harry gave a small smile, glad to see the man looking like normal. He then looked down to the ground. He wanted to ask a question, but wasn't sure the type of answer he would get. After the day spent in the man's presence, especially the last hour or so, he really didn't want to leave. "Can I…" he stopped in nervousness when the man met his eyes.

When Harry didn't continue, Severus tried to press him. "Can you what, Harry?"

"Erm…can I stay with you tonight?" He ducked his head as soon as he finished the question.

Slightly surprised at the question, as Harry had yet to want to stay down in the dungeons, it took Severus a few seconds before he answered. "Where else do you think I would want you to be when you feel like this?"

Harry shrugged. "The hospital wing probably." Where else would the man send him? He sent everyone there.

"Never. You will _always_ stay with me, unless I am unable to provide the care you need."

Harry quickly looked up to Severus and opened his mouth to respond, but instead of a 'thanks' like he wanted to give the man, he sneezed three times into his cupped hands, not able to retrieve the handkerchief Severus gave him earlier.

"Bless you! Let's go. Into bed with you." Severus put a hand on Harry's back and pushed him in the direction of his bedroom. "Go change in to your pajamas. I'll be there in a minute with some potions for you."

"Okay," Harry responded quietly. He slowly walked to his bedroom. He sat on the bed and tried to unbutton Severus' coat. Unfortunately he was too weak and achy and couldn't grasp the buttons tight enough. He was still struggling with them when Severus entered his room a few minutes later. At seeing Severus, and knowing what the man was trying to do since the bus, the strong front he had been showing all night finally crumbled. "I can't unbutton the coat," Harry said, close to tears. First, his whole body hurt and now he couldn't get the stupid coat off!

"It's okay. Calm down, Harry." He held out two vials. "Take these first and I'll help you." While Harry drank the potions, Severus unbuttoned the coat. He took the empty vials that were still in Harry's hand and helped him shrug out of the coat. He draped the coat over his arm and looked at Harry. "You okay now?"

"Yeah," Harry said, completely embarrassed, and looking at his lap. It was just a coat for Merlin's sake! "Thanks."

"Get in to your pajamas."

Harry looked up at Severus in confusion. "But I don't have any here. And I don't know where you sent my new clothes."

"Look behind you."

Harry turned around and spotted a pair of pajamas neatly folded, sitting on top of the bed. He picked up the pajamas and turned back around. "I'm sorry. I didn't see them."

"Harry, don't worry about it. You are ill and not feeling well. It is understandable." He looked at Harry with sympathy then pulled his wand out. "I'd like to take your temperature. I need you to stay still." After Harry's nod, he pointed his wand at Harry and muttered a spell. Blue numbers appeared at the tip moments later. "Thank you. Now get changed." Severus returned his wand and left with his coat to drop it off in his bedroom. He then went to the kitchen to make some soup and tea for Harry. He could have called for one of the school elves for the soup and tea, but he really wanted to do everything for Harry himself. He owed the boy that much.

While the soup and water were heating up, Severus went to the floo to firecall Minerva. As soon as the fire was ready, he stuck his head in and called the Gryffindor's head of house. "Minerva, I need a word."

"Of course, Severus. Minerva moved from her desk to in front of the fireplace. "What can I do for you?"

"I thought I would let you know that Harry will be spending the rest of the evening and probably all of tomorrow down here in the dungeons."

"Is something wrong, Severus?" She had a hard time believing Harry would voluntarily spend the night with the man, though she really had no idea Harry's take on things.

"Nothing that I won't be able handle. Harry just caught the flu that is going around the castle."

At those words, Minerva's lips thinned. She knew Severus was the boy's father, but she still had a hard time ignoring Harry's and his past history. "I think it best if Harry was to go up to the hospital wing, Severus. Surely you have better things to do. Let Poppy take care of him. It is her job."

Severus scowled. "Harry is my son. As such, it is my responsibility to care for him. He will be spending the time with me."

"Severus, I don't think…"

"I do not care what you think," he growled, cutting of Minerva. "Harry will stay with me. _I_ will be taking care of _my_ _son_. I only made this firecall thinking it would be beneficial to let you know Harry's whereabouts, not to get your opinion. I thought you understood our situation." Severus thought Minerva was on his side, but apparently not. "Good evening Minerva," he said shortly and he quickly pulled out of his fireplace extremely angry.

When he turned around and saw the soup heating on the stove, his anger disappeared to be replaced with worry. He walked over, stirred the soup and got a mug and glass from the cabinet. He poured some juice in the glass, and since the soup was still heating and the water for tea had yet to boil, he quickly went to the restroom to get the fever reducer needed for Harry.

Three minutes later, with tray in hand, Severus entered Harry's bedroom. Harry was sitting in bed against the headboard with his eyes closed. "Harry, I brought you some soup, tea and juice." He placed the tray on the night table. "But first I need you to take the fever reducer." He held the vial out to Harry, who had opened his eyes when Severus first spoke.

Harry downed the potion and set the vial on the tray. "Thank you." He looked to the food and grimaced. "I'm not hungry, though."

"You have hardly eaten anything today. You need some food. I know you're not hungry, but try. Just a few spoonfuls. Please?"

Swallowing thickly at the word please, Harry nodded. "I'll try."

"That's all I ask." He watched as Harry picked up the bowl of soup and took a spoonful. "If you need me at any time, you can come get me; even if I am in my bedroom."

"Okay," Harry responded quietly.

"The soup and tea have a warming charm on them and the juice has a cooling charm on it, so you don't have to worry about finishing them all right now. I'll be back in a few hours to see how you are doing."

Harry nodded and watched as Severus left his bedroom.

* * *

_The table and chairs in Severus' kitchen were forcefully knocked away as the floo roared and two men stepped out into his quarters. A tea pot and cup which had been sitting on the table went crashing to the floor unnoticed._

"_Ah Severus. Just who I was looking for," drawled Lucius Malfoy. He brushed some ash from his Death Eater robes and began to walk toward Severus in the kitchen with wand raised._

"_Lower your wand, Lucius," came Severus' deadly cold voice._

_Lucius laughed. "Now why would I do a thing like that, traitor?"_

"_What do you hope to accomplish?" Severus asked, hand reaching his own wand and pointing it at Lucius._

"_This," the other Death Eater answered. "Crucio!"_

_Severus went crashing to the floor, his whole body twisting and thrashing around._

"_Come on, Severus, you can do better than that." Lucius looked to the other Death Eater and nodded._

_The two raised their wands and continued throwing the Cruciatus curse and others at Severus until he was screaming, then rendered unconscious._

"_It is time to return to the Dark Lord," Lucius began, speaking to Severus' body. "He is waiting to greet you this evening. I dare say you will finally be getting what you deserve."_

_The two Death Eaters levitated Severus' unconscious body to the fireplace and the three of them left through the floo._

"No! Please no! I NEED HIM. NO!" Harry screamed desperately.

Shaking and drenched, his head in near blinding pain, Harry quickly sat up in bed. Without wasting any time, he scrambled out of bed and went in search of Severus. With shaky legs and feeling extremely faint, he walked out of his room and took a peak in the man's bedroom. It was empty. Next he checked the restroom. It too was empty. Panic beginning to build and his shaking intensifying, he walked out to the living and checked the study as he passed. Both the living room and study were empty as well. Almost on the verge of hysterics, he next checked out the kitchen. That room was empty too. Severus was no where in his quarters.

Feeling extremely faint, and barely able to stand, Harry headed back towards his bedroom, almost hyperventilating. Severus was no where to be found. It wasn't a nightmare he had woken up from. It had been a vision! It had been real. He knew he should go directly to the headmaster, but his body had another idea. His legs unable to support him anymore, he fell against the wall by his bedroom door and sunk to the floor.

* * *

_Ugh...I hate that won't accept the * as a section break. I think I found them all. LOL. Anyways, like always, thank you all so much for the reviews. :) _


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

After leaving Harry's room, Severus went out to the living room and started a fire in the fireplace. It was still somewhat early and he wasn't all that hungry for dinner yet, so he retrieved a book from the study and sat down on the couch in front of the fireplace to read. He knew he should have been working on his research paper, but he definitely wasn't in the mind set to work on it at the moment. Not with his mind almost constantly wandering to Harry.

When his stomach started grumbling a few hours later, Severus set his book down on the coffee table. He didn't want to leave Harry alone to have dinner in the Great Hall with the rest of the castle, so he decided to call one of the school elves to provide him his dinner. But before he did that, he wanted to check on Harry.

He walked down the hallway and quietly opened Harry's bedroom door. Harry was lying on his stomach, arms under his pillow, asleep. Wanting to see how Harry did on the soup, considering the boy said he wasn't hungry, he quietly walked to the night table. Glancing in the bowl, he was surprised to find it completely empty. With a satisfied smirk, he picked up the bowl and spoon. Glancing at the mug of tea and glass of juice, he found that the juice was gone as well. He also picked up that glass. With bowl and glass in hand, he left the bedroom and returned to the kitchen. He refilled the juice glass, filled another glass with water and went back to Harry's room.

After setting the water and juice on the night table, Severus just stood there gazing at Harry, his expression softening dramatically. As the boy lay there totally unaware of being observed, Severus was able to take his time in looking over Harry. It had been months since he was afforded the opportunity to look at Harry without being noticed. He, again, couldn't believe how much the boy looked like him with bits of Lily as well.

A moment later, Severus walked over to the bed and pulled the comforter, which had made its way half way down Harry's back, back up and tucked it around his shoulders. Harry shifted slightly at the movement but stayed asleep.

Not wanting to disturb Harry's much needed rest, Severus quietly left the bedroom. Seeing all of Harry's current needs had been met, he finally called a school elf to bring him his dinner.

~SH~

Having finished eating his dinner an hour earlier and wanting to feel like he accomplished something before Sunday, Severus decided to put the potion ingredients he had purchased that morning away in the storeroom in his office. Even though he wouldn't be gone long, he was still a bit reluctant to leave Harry alone, though he knew he needed to. Extremely concerned about the boy's health, Severus placed a charm on Harry's bedroom before he headed to the storeroom. The charm would allow him to hear any sound made in the bedroom no matter where he was residing in the castle.

He had been in the storeroom about twenty minutes and was almost done empting the box of ingredients. About to place a large glass jar on the top shelf, he heard Harry desperately screaming. _No! Please no!_ _I NEED HIM. NO!_

The last few words of Harry's screaming, however, were drowned out by the sound of shattering glass. The moment Severus had heard Harry start screaming, he dropped the jar in his hand, the glass shattering into tiny bits and the liquid splattering along the bottom half of the room. Without a second thought, he left his office, slamming the door shut behind him, and ran back to his quarters pulling his wand out on the way. His heart started beating wildly as different scenarios of what could be happening crossed his mind the closer he got to his quarters. Each scenario was worse than the other. The only thing definite was that it sounded like someone was inside his quarters attacking Harry.

Trying to control his breathing, he carefully entered his quarters and with a shaky hand, quietly cast a spell to determine who was inside. Confusingly, the results only showed Harry. Letting out a somewhat relieved breath, he put his wand away and quickly walked in the direction of Harry's bedroom. As he entered the hall, he spotted Harry sitting on the floor just outside his bedroom, head bowed over his knees. "Harry?"

~SH~

As Harry sat there with his head on his knees, he recalled what he had screamed right before waking. _I need him_. He realized that it was exactly true. He needed the professor. More than he ever thought possible.

Details of what had awoken him then came to the front of his mind. He needed the man as more than a professor and now it would probably be too late. If the Death Eaters were correct, the potions master would more than likely be dead by the end of the night. He again, would never get to experience what it was like to have an adult care for him, a parent. Harry began trembling at that realization.

The sound of his name being called broke him out of his thoughts. He shook his head against his knees and squeezed his eyes closed. He didn't want to hear that voice now. When his name was called again, a little louder and with more insistence, he slowly opened his eyes and raised his head. The sight that met his eyes took his breath away.

Standing at the entrance to the hall was the potions master.

"DAD!" Harry immediately jumped up from the floor, ran the short distance to Severus and threw his arms around him.

Severus was initially frozen in shock. He didn't know which was more startling; Harry calling him dad or the fact that the boy was hugging him on his own accord. But when he felt Harry trembling violently against him, those thoughts disappeared and he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around the boy. "What is wrong, Harry?" he asked extremely worried.

Unable to stop the swirling emotions he was feeling, Harry tightened his hold on Severus. He grasped the back of the man's shirt and buried the side of his head in his chest as his breath began to hitch and he started to cry.

It was only a few seconds after asking his question that Severus felt Harry's shuddering breathing and heard the tell tale signs of crying. Even though he'd witnessed Harry crying on occasion, it actually wasn't a common thing. Surprisingly, tears seemed to be common, at least recently. But all out crying? Certainly not. At least not that he'd previously been aware of. Something was definitely wrong.

"Harry?" Severus put his hands on Harry's shoulders and tried to pull back to look at the boy's face. Harry wouldn't budge. Instead he felt Harry bury his head farther into his chest. He wrapped his arms back around Harry and pulled him close. "I heard you screaming. What is wrong?" he softly asked again, with worry in his voice. He was more alarmed than he had been and began to gently rub Harry's back.

The rumbling of the man's voice in his ear, as his head was nestled against the professor's chest, and the gentle hand on his back started to calm Harry down, just slightly. It was about a minute before he finally answered. "I thought I had…it was like before…you weren't here…and I thought you were…" He choked on the last few words.

Severus continued rubbing Harry's back, but moved one hand to cradle the back of his head. "It's okay Harry. Breathe."

Harry's breath hitched again and he squeezed Severus tighter.

"You're okay," Severus continued while running his fingers through Harry's hair a few times. He was slightly at a loss of what to do. He returned his hand to the back of his head.

As the two stood there in the hallway, Severus began to feel heat seeping through his thin shirt. He removed his hand from the back of Harry's head, and like on the bus earlier in the day, gently placed it on Harry's forehead instead. "Merlin, you're burning up!" He became fearful at the amount of heat radiating off of Harry. The fever reducer he had given him only a few hours earlier shouldn't have worn off this soon.

Harry didn't react. He kept his head down, breath hitching as he continued to cry.

As a shiver racked Harry's body, Severus pulled out his wand, wanting to see what Harry's temperature was. When the numbers appeared at the tip, all thoughts of the boy's emotional state were gone. "I need to get your fever down," he stated worriedly. "It is extremely high. Get in bed while I get the fever reducer."

Harry wouldn't let go, his grip on Severus' shirt tightened. He wasn't ready to leave the man's embrace. He was scared that if he let go, Severus would disappear.

Severus looked down to Harry. The boy's eyes were squeezed shut and tears were rolling down his one visible cheek. He rubbed his hand up and down Harry's back a few more times. "I'll only be gone a few seconds. Harry, please. Get in bed."

The alarm in the man's voice finally made Harry release his hold of Severus.

"Thank you Harry." Severus gave one of Harry's shoulders a squeeze. "I'll be back in a few seconds." He gently pushed Harry into his bedroom as he walked to the restroom for the potion he would need.

Harry kept his head down as he walked in and sat down on the side of his bed, rubbing a hand on his aching forehead. He sniffled as he tried to stop crying.

A few seconds later Severus entered with a vial and a bowl. He was slightly disappointed that Harry wasn't lying down in the bed, but at least he would be able to take the potion more easily sitting up. He held the vial out to Harry. "This is a stronger fever reducer. I hope that it will have some effect."

With a still slightly trembling hand, Harry took the vial, downed its contents and held the now empty vial out to Severus. His eyes followed Severus as he set the vial and bowl on the night table and turned back to him. Feeling his nose beginning to run, he lifted an arm up to his face to wipe at his nose. Before he was able to, Severus pushed his arm down and handed him a clean handkerchief. Harry took the offered cloth, wiped at his eyes first then blew his nose. He finally looked up to Severus.

"You should be lying down." Severus stated as Harry shivered but made no move. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Harry looked down to his knees as he shook his head. He began to feel extremely embarrassed about his display in the hallway just a few minutes ago. It was only a nightmare for Merlin's sake! He wasn't a little kid who needed to be comforted from a bad dream and he definitely didn't want to share what the nightmare was about either. "No, that's okay," he stated instead. "I'm fine."

Severus stood a few feet from the bed and just watched Harry as he continued to sit there. He could see some slight fear and another emotion he couldn't identify, in the boy's eyes. With a soft sigh, Severus walked to the bed and sat down next to Harry so he was slightly facing him. "Harry."

At the soft, caring tone of voice from the professor, Harry closed his eyes and swallowed, his previous thoughts gone. He _did_ want to share and hopefully be comforted like a little kid; especially after thinking Severus was dead just a few short minutes ago.

"I thought it was a vision," Harry began quietly. "When I woke up, my scar and my head were hurting." He took a deep breath then started describing the nightmare. "You were in our kitchen having tea."

Severus noticed Harry's use of the word our when describing the kitchen, and was pleased, but put that out of his mind for the moment.

"Lucius and some other Death Eater came in the living room through the floo with their wands raised," Harry continued, "and were calling you a traitor. As soon as you saw them, you raised your wand too. You were telling them to lower their wands but they didn't." Harry took a shuddering breath which caused him to cough a few times afterward. "They hit you with the Cruciatus a few times. You must not have reacted like they wanted because they started throwing other curses at you until you were unconscious. They levitated your body towards the fireplace, saying Voldemort would finally give you what you deserved for being a traitor."

Severus didn't know what to feel after hearing about Harry's nightmare. This was the second time, in less than a month, that he knew the boy had a nightmare about him being hurt or killed.

"I woke up screaming," Harry continued.

"I heard you," Severus interrupted.

Harry either didn't hear Severus, or didn't comprehend what the man said. He was still lost in his own thoughts. "I needed to find you. I jumped out of bed and looked throughout our quarters. They were empty. I couldn't find you," he stated desperately, beginning to tremble again.

"I was in my storeroom putting away the potion ingredients I bought today. That's why you couldn't find me."

"I thought they took you and you were dead." Harry finally looked up to Severus, with new tears beginning to pool in his eyes.

"It was only a nightmare," Severus said softly. "It was no doubt brought on by your high fever. Even so, no one can get into these quarters without my permission."

Harry nodded his head in understanding. He should have thought of that right after he woke up. Of course the professor had some type of security on the floo. "It seemed so real though. And then I couldn't find you," he repeated. "I thought you were dead. I couldn't lose you when I just got you. I need you," he whispered. Feeling an intense burning behind his eyes, he looked down, squeezed his eyes shut tight and pressed his lips tightly together. He did not want to cry again.

Severus moved closer to Harry and wrapped his left arm around the still trembling boy.

At the first touch of contact, Harry turned and hugged Severus once more, the tears beginning to fall yet again.

"It's okay Harry." Severus was still slightly at a loss of what to do or say, completely out of his element. He never before had to console anyone in this state after a nightmare. "Shhh, it's okay," Severus comforted, and turned more into the awkward hug. He rested his chin on the top of Harry's head. "I'm perfectly fine and I'm not going anywhere. It was only a nightmare."

Feeling the heat still radiating off of Harry, Severus ran a hand over his back once and pulled out of the hug. "Stop those tears now. You're making your fever worse," he said lightly though extremely concerned.

Harry wiped away the tears from his cheeks and eyes, already missing the man's comforting embrace and warmth. In truth, though, he was feeling absolutely lousy. And though he wouldn't admit it, even under the Cruciatus, he was also still slightly scared from the nightmare as well. He gave a soft sniffle, and then sneezed twice.

Severus stood up from the bed. "Bless you. You need to sleep. Get under the covers. You'll never get better if you sit up in your bed all night."

Shifting slightly, Harry wiggled his legs under the covers and scooted back so he was closer to his pillow. He lay down on his back and was about to grab the sheet and comforter to cover himself when he noticed Severus had grabbed them instead and tucked them under his chin. He pulled his arms out from under the comforter and placed them on top, grasping the top edge so it bunched in his fists.

After Severus watched as Harry gave a shiver, a side effect of his fever and possibly because of the nightmare, he walked over to the night table. Reaching inside the bowl he placed there earlier, he pulled out a wet washcloth and wrung out the cold water. "This will help you feel more comfortable until the fever reducer begins to take effect. Close your eyes and try to go to sleep."

At those words, Harry looked fearfully at the professor and his breathing rapidly increased. He unconsciously tightened his hold of the comforter. He did not want to go back to sleep. He knew if he did, he'd have another nightmare.

Folding the washcloth in half, Severus returned to Harry's bedside. Before placing the washcloth of Harry's forehead, he saw Harry's eyes were still open and he was watching him. It was then he noticed the slight panic and distress in his green eyes and the rapid breathing. Not to mention the hands grasping at the comforter. "There is nothing to worry about," he stated in a voice he hoped would relax and calm him. "Harry, you need to try to sleep."

With his free hand, Severus brushed Harry's fringe off his forehead. As his fingers touched Harry's forehead and ran through his hair, he watched Harry close his eyes then slowly open them. With Harry's hair now out of the way, he then placed the cool washcloth on the boy's burning forehead.

Harry continued to stare at him, his thoughts unknown to the professor.

Standing in front of him, caring for him, was now a man who Harry considered his father and _wanted_ as a father. In front of him was a man who actually wanted him as a son, a man who actually cared for _Harry_ and not the Boy-Who-Lived.

Then, just a few short hours ago when he was feeling absolutely miserable because he didn't admit that he was sick earlier, the man was still trying to comfort him and make him feel better instead of ridiculing him like he would have in the past. The man wasn't even angry.

He used to hate the man standing in front of him. If a year ago he thought he'd ever be in the man's private quarters lying in a bed on his own free will, he would have checked himself into St. Mungo's immediately. But now, now things were different. He felt different about the potions master now. He couldn't put a finger on the exact moment when his feelings changed, but he didn't care. He now wanted what he had been denied for fifteen years. He wanted it to be like it always should have been.

Harry continued to stare at Severus. Afraid that if he closed his eyes, the nightmare would become reality.

Severus was a little worried that Harry wasn't trying to sleep. He knew he had to be scared from the nightmare. Though if he thought about, he wasn't sure whether it was the nightmare itself, or what Harry had thought after waking from the nightmare that had him scared. Either way, Harry needed to rest. He again ran his fingers through Harry's hair. "Go to sleep Harry. It will help you feel better."

Like before, Harry closed his eyes at the touch while taking a deep breath. He then slowly opened them once Severus removed his hand, bringing his eyes to stare at the professor once more.

Now aware of how he might get Harry calm and relaxed enough to sleep, Severus sat down on the side of the bed near Harry's waist. He didn't say anything as Harry looked at him in confusion. He ran his fingers through Harry's hair again, eliciting the same response as before. This time, however, Harry's eyes remained closed a little longer and his grip on the comforter relaxed slightly.

Giving a satisfied sigh, Severus continued to run his fingers through Harry's hair every so often. And every time, Harry's eyes remained closed a little while longer. Five minutes later, Harry's eyes remained closed and his grip on the comforter finally went lax as he breathing evened out.

Harry was finally asleep.

~SH~

Even though he knew Harry was asleep, Severus couldn't make himself leave Harry's bedside. Instead he just sat on the bed and watched the gentle rise and fall of Harry's chest. He thought about what was said and done today and especially during the past twenty-five minutes or so since he heard Harry scream. He didn't think his heart could take anymore shock.

While sightseeing in London, his heart was shattering. To hear Harry calling him father and knowing he did not mean it, was pure torture. He never thought about it months before, but as he spent more and more time with Harry, the more he wanted to hear Harry call him that. Well, maybe not exactly father, as it reminded him too much of his own father, but dad or some other endearment.

The moment he heard Harry's screaming, twenty-five minutes ago, he knew his heart had stopped. He was always afraid something was going to happen to Harry, and hearing that scream terrified him. His relief at finding Harry safe inside their quarters what short-lived however, when he saw the state he was in. His heart thudded in fear.

Out in the hallway, about twenty minutes ago, his heart almost burst out of his chest from happiness. Harry had called him dad. Not father like he had been earlier in the day, but _dad_. And then Harry had hugged him.

And last, mere minutes ago before Harry broke down for the second time, his heart swelled at the last three words Harry said, though he almost missed them, they were spoken so quietly. _I need you_.

The fact that Harry was in the emotional state he was in over a nightmare about him, Severus Snape, being brought to the Dark Lord to be killed, left Severus deeply touched. No one, except for Lily, had shown that kind of care or concern over him before. Not even the headmaster.

He didn't want to read what wasn't really there, but everything added up to Harry finally wanting the father/son relationship. If he wasn't the stoic man he was, he would have broken down in tears. As it was, he had to swallow around a painful lump in his throat.

Severus watched Harry's chest rise and fall one more time before he finally stood up. He removed the now lukewarm cloth from Harry's forehead, gently ran his fingers through Harry's hair one more time, and then picked up the bowl on the night table. Quietly he left Harry's bedroom, closing the door behind him, and returned the bowl and cloth to the restroom.

~SH~

Harry woke up extremely early Sunday morning with his head pounding and an upset stomach. He felt truly awful. He reached over and turned on the light sitting on the night table. He looked around his room, needing a distraction from how he was feeling. Not seeing anything he thought could serve as a distraction, especially with his pounding head, he just laid back down and stared at the ceiling. A bit later he closed his eyes. Then he opened them again and stared at the ceiling once more. Whatever he did, however, he still felt awful and couldn't get back to sleep. He couldn't understand why. Under normal circumstances, and especially when he was with the Dursley's, he would push aside everything he was feeling and do his best to go back to sleep. It normally worked. But for some reason he couldn't do it this time.

Before thinking anything more about what he was doing, he threw the comforter off of himself, got up from the bed and walked shakily to the bedroom door.

Opening the door, he realized it must be really late at night as their quarters were blanketed in darkness. He walked in the direction of Severus' closed bedroom door but hesitated briefly in the middle of the hall. As he stood there, he began to think he didn't feel bad enough to wake the man. But as a ripple of pain in his head made him squeeze his eyes shut tight, he knew he needed to.

With still slightly hesitant footsteps, Harry was at Severus' door moments later. He raised a shaky hand and knocked on it quietly. He received no response. He knocked again a little louder, but again got no response.

He reached a hand out to the brass doorknob and turned it. He pushed the door open a few feet and looked inside the bedroom. With help from the light that was on in his own bedroom, he was able to see that Severus was asleep in the middle of his bed. With courage he didn't know he had, Harry slipped into the dark room and stood just inside the door. "Professor Snape?" he called out awkwardly. Was he looking to get yelled at or getting killed? Surely this was a bad idea. But then he remembered the man did say he could wake him if needed. And he knew he definitely needed him right now.

Still getting no response from Severus, he walked more into the bedroom, almost to the foot of the bed. "Professor Snape?" he called out again. As before, there was no response. Desperate now, as another ripple of pain shot across his forehead combined with lightheadedness and the possibility of being sick any moment, he walked to the right side of Severus' bed. "Dad?"

Severus finally began to stir.

Seeing movement on the bed, Harry called out one more time, a little more desperate. "Dad…"

Severus turned his head toward the voice and opened his eyes. The moment he registered Harry, he sat up in alarm. "Harry?"

Completely embarrassed now at having to wake Severus, Harry looked down to the ground, glad it was dark in the room. He didn't mean to scare the man by waking him up in the middle of the night.

Pushing himself up against the headboard, Severus reached over with his left hand and turned on a light on the night table. He and Harry squinted at the bright light. "What is it?" Severus asked extremely worriedly, voice rough from sleep. "What's wrong?"

Harry looked up and met Severus' concerned gaze. "I don't feel well," he admitted shyly in a shaky voice, arms wrapped around his stomach. "My head hurts really bad. I'm really achy and I feel sick to my stomach."

Moving to get out of the bed, Severus glanced at the clock on his night table. The potions he had given Harry earlier were almost due for another dose. After standing up, he placed a hand on Harry's forehead. "You're still a bit warm, but not like you were earlier. That is good." He moved the hand to Harry's shoulder and steered him to sit on the bed. "Sit down while I gather the necessary potions. I may need to visit the hospital wing for the stomach soother, as I don't think I have one readily available."

Harry sat down on Severus' bed and watched the man walk out of the room. He rubbed a hand along his forehead and then realized what he had called Severus just moments before. Dad. It had felt so right calling him that. He didn't think he could call him anything else now. But what if the professor didn't want to be called that? Even with feeling nauseous, he felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach at that thought.

Harry looked to the doorway the moment Severus stepped foot back in the bedroom with two vials in hand. "I'm sorry I called you dad, professor," Harry blurted out, embarrassed. "I didn't really mean it." It was a lie, however, but he didn't want Severus to know.

With a sigh at Harry's obvious insecurities, Severus walked over and stood in front of the boy. He placed both vials in one hand, put a hand on Harry's shoulder and leaned down so he was eye level. "Harry, you are my son and I am your father. If you wish to call me dad, I will not stop you. In fact I would be honored if you did. I honestly didn't expect that much from you."

"Really?" he asked expectantly, eyes lighting up. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Yes really. I do not mind at all." Severus gave Harry's shoulder a squeeze when the boy gave him a huge smile with bright, albeit pain-filled eyes. "Now let's get you feeling better." He held out both vials in turn to Harry. "The first is the fever reducer and the other is a pain reliever. As I expected, I do not have a stomach soother here. I will need to go up to the hospital wing. I will be back shortly."

Nodding, Harry again watched Severus leave the bedroom, his heart feeling happier than it had in a while. He finally had someone to call dad.

As Harry sat there, waiting for Severus to return, he began to feel his headache subsiding and the general ache leave his body. However he was still feeling a little lightheaded and his stomach was still bothering him. Thinking lying down would help his stomach feel better, he slowly lowered himself down so his head was on one of the pillows and his legs were still dangling off the side of the bed.

Ten minutes later, having rushed to and from the Hospital Wing as fast as he could, Severus walked into his bedroom and stopped just inside the door. Harry was asleep, lying on his side with his legs off the side of the bed. Giving a small smile, Severus walked over to the bed. He placed three vials of stomach soother on the night table and stood at the side of the bed, watching Harry. He was almost ready to wake him up to take the potion he just retrieved, but seeing that Harry was sound asleep and obviously in no need of the stomach soother at the moment, he decided not to wake him. The boy needed all the healing rest he could get. That being the case, he didn't want to wake him to go back to his own bed either.

Severus gently lifted Harry's legs and put them on the bed and moved his whole body towards the center so he wasn't so close to the edge. He then pulled the sheet and blanket that were trapped under him and covered him up. Satisfied Harry would be comfortable, he walked to Harry's room and turned off the light in there. When he returned to his bedroom, he turned off the light on the night table by Harry and blindly walked to the other side of his large bed. Pulling back the sheet and blanket, he slid in. He fell asleep almost immediately.

~SH~

Sunlight, streaming from a window charmed high on the wall, danced across Harry's face, waking him up later Sunday morning. Cracking his eyes open, he snuggled into the pillow clutched in his hands. After blinking a few times to clear the sleep from his eyes, he took in his surroundings and immediately recognized that he was not in his bedroom. He was in Severus' bedroom. In his bed no less! But if he was in his father's bed, where did his father sleep? Before he could even consider answering that question, he heard soft snores coming from next to him.

Still lying on his stomach, Harry turned his head to look at the other side of the bed. Severus was lying on his side facing him, arms hugging his pillow, fast asleep. "Hey, he does sleep," Harry whispered to himself, almost laughing. He again looked around the room. He couldn't quite remember how he ended up asleep in his father's bed.

Yawning, he turned around so he was lying on his side, looking the opposite of Severus, and just stared at the man. His father. It was still a bit hard to believe that he was the same person that gave him hell for five years.

Unfortunately, Harry was so caught up in his thoughts, he thought Severus was still sleeping and didn't notice the change in the man's breathing.

"Do you mind?" Severus questioned, with eyes still closed. "Will you please quit your staring?" He slowly opened his eyes to look at an extremely embarrassed and slightly frightened Harry.

"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled, scrambling up to a sitting position and then beginning to get out of the bed, completely missing the sarcastic tone in which Severus used.

Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes in exasperation. "For heaven sakes, Harry, just lay back down. You do not need to leave the bed."

Harry got back on the bed, but didn't lie down. He sat up against the headboard and looked at his father in confusion. "Why am I in here?"

"You do not remember?" Severus asked, slightly alarmed. He moved the pillow clutched in his hands so it was resting against the headboard and sat up, leaning on it so he was facing Harry.

Shaking his head, Harry replied. "Not really. I know I came to you because I wasn't feeling well earlier in the night. You gave me two potions, and went to get a stomach soother. But after that I don't remember."

Severus relaxed at hearing Harry's response. "It seems you fell asleep while I was gone. When I came back and noticed you asleep, I didn't think it wise to wake you just so you could go back to sleep seconds later in your own bed. As you can see," he waved at hand at the bed, "my bed is plenty big."

"Oh." After a shiver racked his body, Harry slid down on the bed, while facing Severus, and snuggled under the blanket, pulling it up to his chin.

"How are you feeling?" Severus leaned over and brought a hand to Harry's forehead to check for a fever, causing Harry to close his eyes at the touch.

Harry shrugged, while relishing in the kind gesture. He'd never had anyone check for a fever that way before. Well, maybe Mrs. Weasley had done it once or twice, but it didn't feel the same. "I still feel achy, but my stomach doesn't bother me."

"Good." He returned to his prior position. "Your upset stomach might have been brought on by your other symptoms. Let's hope that continues to be the case."

Yawning and then swallowing, Harry spoke again, surprised at how much he was revealing to Severus. Then again, no one had ever cared how he felt before. "I 'm cold, from the fever I suppose. But it now feels like I have a bad cold. I'm really stuffy and my throat hurts."

"That's all part of the flu, unfortunately. I know how hard it is for you, but I do want you to continue letting me know what's bothering you. I can't even begin to say how glad I am that you're finally allowing someone else care for you. Just remember, you're not alone anymore."

Harry smiled and then gave a very congested cough.

Looking over Harry's head towards the clock setting on the night table, Severus realized it was almost 8 am. "I am going to get you something for that cough then order in some breakfast. Are you hungry at all?"

"Not really. But I know I should try to eat, right?"

Severus gave Harry a warm smile in answer. "Is there anything you think you could eat?"

"I don't know. I'll try whatever you think would be easiest." Harry coughed again.

Severus nodded and got out of the bed. "Let me get that potion for you."

When Severus went to retrieve the potion, Harry reluctantly sat up on the bed so he could swallow it easier.

Moments later, Severus returned with the potion. "This should help with your cough and congestion." Harry downed the potion with a grimace and handed the vial back to Severus. "While I get our breakfast, do you think you have the strength for a shower?"

Though a shower sounded like a good idea, the thought of moving to do so didn't have any appeal at the moment. He just wanted to stay in the cozy bed. "I might later, but not right now."

"That is fine. Relax, and I'll be back shortly with breakfast."

~SH~

Hermione walked through the Gryffindor portrait hole late Sunday night, having returned from visiting with her family. Spotting Ron at one of the tables in the corner playing Exploding Snap with Neville, she walked over and sat down at one of the empty chairs.

Ron stopped playing the game immediately when his friend sat down. "Hermione! Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?" He leaned over and gave her a somewhat awkward hug.

Blushing slightly, Hermione responded. "I'm sorry. But I made up my mind last minute." She looked around the common room. "Where's Harry?"

"Er…I haven't seen him since breakfast Saturday morning."

"What?" She and Ron had planned on asking Harry to join them for the Hogsmeade weekend and she didn't think that just because she wasn't around, Ron wouldn't have asked. "Didn't you ask Harry to go to Hogsmeade with you?"

"I did ask and we were supposed to go."

Sensing a possible argument and not wanting to be around it, Neville got up and went up to his dorm.

"What happened?" Hermione asked after Neville left the table.

"At breakfast right before we were to go, he said he wasn't feeling well and that he had a headache. He just wanted to go back up to bed."

Hermione thought about that answer in slight confusion. Harry never turned down a trip to Hogsmeade in the past. Then the more she thought about it, he _had_ turned down a trip earlier in the year. There was something definitely going on with Harry.

"But if Harry wasn't feeling well, Ron, then you should have seen him in the dorm room shouldn't you?"

"He wasn't there. I just figured he felt awful enough to go to the hospital wing. I'm assuming he's there now."

"He's not there. I just came from there. Besides, you know as well as I do that Harry would never voluntarily go to the hospital wing."

"You're right," Ron agreed, remembering how he had to drag his friend there after twisting his ankle while having a snowball fight last year. "Wait. You just came from the hospital wing? What were you doing there?"

"Oh. Well, Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey wanted to talk to me before I came back to the tower."

Slightly alarmed that something was wrong with his girlfriend, Ron moved his chair closer to Hermione. "You're okay right? Why did they want to talk to you?"

Hermione looked down at the table with a small smile. She loved how protective Ron got some times. "I am fine. And though I appreciate your concern, I'd rather not discuss it." As it was, she felt slightly embarrassed that the two adults were worried about her mental health. She did not want to tell Ron and have him worry. She was fine after all.

"But Hermione…"

"No, Ron. You don't need to know everything."

"You did just hear what you said right?" Ron asked laughing.

Hermione playfully hit Ron on the shoulder. Then she gave him a look, the whereabouts of Harry long gone.

Ron, recognizing what Hermione needed, stood up from the table and took Hermione's hand in his. They walked out of the common room, as they still had some time before curfew, and found a cozy nook in one of the corridors. They sat down with Ron just holding Hermione close. They stayed that way until it was almost curfew, cuddling and talking.

~SH~

Harry walked through the corridors towards the Great Hall for breakfast Monday morning. Severus hadn't wanted to let him out of their quarters, but since he said he felt better and had no fever, Severus reluctantly let him attend classes; with one condition, of course. He was to return to their quarters during lunch and during the free time he had between his afternoon classes. And if at any point in the day he began to feel worse, he was to immediately return to their quarters and send a note to Severus.

Normally, he probably would have been angry at being told to do those things, but Harry knew it was because his father was really worried about him. The thought of the man caring that much about him made him smile, though he entered the Great Hall with trepidation. He hadn't seen Ron since Saturday morning and didn't know what the redhead's reaction would be.

Seeing Hermione's bushy hair sitting at the table, all thoughts of Ron's reaction flew out of his mind. He quickly walked to the Gryffindor and sat down across from her and Ron. Before he could utter a word, Ron started speaking.

"Where have you been?" Ron asked angrily. He and Hermione had been talking about Harry that morning before breakfast. "No one has seen you since Saturday morning.

Hermione joined in. "Ron told me everything. We know you were feeling fine, so don't pull that 'I wasn't feeling well' bit with us. We know you weren't in the hospital wing, Harry."

Harry looked at Hermione and Ron in complete shock, surprised at how angry they were. "But I…"

"It's not like you, Harry, to wander off and not be seen for days," Hermione continued. "You're not acting like your usual self either. And you've been lying to us at various times as well. What is going on with you? And don't lie either."

Not liking the accusing tones of his friends, Harry jumped up from the table. It's true, he had been lying to his friends every once in a while, but it was with good reason. That still didn't mean they had to talk to him like that. "Obviously what I say won't matter to either of you," he began, voice extremely congested from the flu, though his friends didn't seem to notice. "Since you've both already made up your mind, I'm not even going to respond." Feeling extremely hurt and angry, Harry quickly exited the Great Hall and fled down to the dungeons.

~SH~

Severus had been watching Harry off and on since the boy entered the Great Hall. After Harry left the room mere minutes after entering, he thought that the boy was beginning to feel worse. Leaving the Great Hall a minute later, he went down to their quarters.

The living room was empty as Severus entered. He walked to Harry's bedroom and found Harry lying on his stomach hugging his pillow, still in his uniform. "I saw you leave the Great Hall without eating any breakfast. Are you feeling alright?"

Harry shook his head yes. "I'm not going to classes," he mumbled into his pillow.

"If you are feeling alright, then you should go to your classes."

"I don't want to."

Severus sat down on the edge of the bed. "What happened at breakfast?"

"Nothing," Harry answered and turned his head so it was facing away from Severus.

"Harry, you were the one arguing with me last night about needing to go to classes. And now you don't want to? Something obviously happened."

"They think I'm lying to them. They wouldn't even let me explain. And if I did, they probably wouldn't believe me anyway. I hate them!"

Severus ran a hand up and down Harry's back twice. "Sit up."

Harry slowly complied, sitting on the side of the bed next to Severus with his eyes lowered to the ground. He couldn't make eye contact.

"From what I witnessed, Miss Granger was the one sprouting all that nonsense I presume?"

"Mostly. But Ron had some things to say too."

"I see. Now I don't want to go making excuses for Miss Granger, but as all the professors were notified, I do know what she has been going through this past week. She is still probably upset about her relatives and not thinking clearly. Death can make some not think rationally."

"Yeah," Harry agreed quietly, thinking back to the summer after Sirius died.

"You _have_ been lying to your friends," Severus stated. Harry shot his head up to him in anger. "But, you have an extremely good reason for it," Severus tried to console. "If you were to tell the truth, people could be hurt or killed. It is a lie anyone would approve of if they knew the entire situation of why it was told."

That made sense to Harry, but his friends accusations still hurt and made him angry.

"Do not let this incident break the strong friendship the three of you have, Harry. You may regret it in the future if you do. Everything the three of you currently feel will pass. Just give it time and everything will right itself."

Harry sighed and looked to Severus, glad he was able to have the conversation. If his friends acted like this last year, he would have tried to push down his feelings to join everything else he was feeling, and more than likely ignore his friends indefinitely. It was still strange to have someone to talk to about his problems, but now he really appreciated the advice he normally would have never gotten. "Okay," he said quietly. "Thank you for talking with me."

"You're welcome Harry." Severus put an arm around Harry and gave him a squeeze. "Let's go to the kitchen and eat breakfast before we have to leave for our first classes."

* * *

_First off, I'm sorry about the cliffhanger that was last chapter. You probably won't believe me, but I didn't do it on purpose. :) It just seemed a logical place to end the chapter. I do hope you're all still enjoying the story. As always, thanks for the reviews, alerts, and favorites._


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Harry entered the Potions' dungeon classroom, his second class of the day on Monday, and sat down in his usual spot. He began pulling out his notebook and textbook when Ron took a seat on one side of him and Hermione the other. He was going to take his father's advice about his friendship with them, but right now he wanted to cool off a little and didn't feel like speaking to them just now. Having eaten breakfast down in the dungeons, Harry had made it to his first class just as it was about to begin so this was the first time since breakfast where his friends could talk to him. Luckily a minute later Severus walked in to the classroom so he didn't have to worry.

After a short lecture, the students were left to their own devices to brew the day's potion. Though he wasn't feeling as well as he was after breakfast and during his first class, Harry did his best to concentrate on his brewing, coughing now and then. At more than one point, he felt Ron and Hermione's eyes on him, but he ignored them. He was having a hard enough time brewing as it was. Turns out, one of the potions Severus had him take that morning was making his thoughts somewhat fuzzy. Or at least he thought it was the potion.

A while into brewing, Harry glanced at the clock on the wall, and sighed. Time was going by much too slow as he still had twenty minutes left until the end of the class. He wasn't too sure he could make it, the longer he stood there brewing. All the fumes in the room were starting to get to him and he was beginning to feel lightheaded. Not able to stand anymore a few minutes later, he sunk down onto his stool and continued his brewing.

Just as he was finishing the last step of the potion, and a crucial one at that, he had to sneeze. He silently cursed his body's timing and turned away from his cauldron the best he could as he sneezed forcefully into his elbow. Hoping his potion wasn't ruined, he turned back around and looked inside his cauldron. Instead of the shimmering light grey liquid that he had moments ago, the potion was now a mucky dark brown congealed mass. Knowing he failed the assignment, since there wasn't time to start over, he turned off the burner under his cauldron, crossed his arms on his desk and dropped his head onto them, groaning quietly.

Severus, who had been walking up and down the classroom observing everyone's potion, stopped in front of Harry's desk, looked into the cauldron and then back to Harry. "Potter."

At the sound of his name, Harry flinched and wearily looked up, meeting the eyes of the potions master.

"Another failure I see. I should have expected as much," he stated icily. "It's still amazes me how you were able to get into this class."

Harry ignored the snickering coming from the Slytherin side of the room and looked back into his cauldron. The potion was now sending puffs of foul smelling brown smoke into the air.

Severus pulled out his wand. "Evanesco." He replaced his wand and with a scowl still on his face, looked back to Harry. When a Slytherin at the other side of the room called his name, Severus finally broke eye contact and left Harry's table.

Harry watched his father walk away and rested his head back on his arms. Even though the two had discussed it at length last night, Harry realized he really hated Severus calling him Potter and being spoken to in that tone of voice. It brought back all the horrible memories of the past five years worth of potions classes. As he sat there, he had to force himself to think about their conversation last night.

When Severus first told him they had to continue their act of loathing one another while in public, he knew immediately he was going to hate it. He knew they had to keep up appearances to keep their secret and their lives safe, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

Severus had to reassure him many times that whatever happened outside of their private quarters was only an act. If Harry needed reassurance that it was an act while in public, he was to really look at his father. The man may be acting and speaking like he had been, but his eyes would tell him the truth. His father promised him that he would never again see the loathing and disgust in them that had once graced his face during every encounter they had in the past.

Harry spent the next ten minutes of class alternating between staring at the tabletop or at his empty cauldron while listening to the bubbling cauldrons around him. He realized he was glad for once that he received a zero and didn't have to worry about his potion anymore. He was coughing more frequently and had to sneeze a few more times and no doubt it would have caused more problems while brewing. He only wished the class would be over soon. It was boring just sitting there.

"You should now be done with your brewing," Severus finally stated from the front of the classroom. "If you haven't already done so, bottle up a sample and leave it on your desk before you leave. Your assignment for tonight is to read chapter 20. Potter, stay behind."

While putting his book and notebook into his book bag, Hermione turned to Harry. "Harry, you _are_ sick aren't you?" When Harry didn't respond she continued. "I'm sorry for thinking you were lying. Why didn't you just tell us?"

Harry abruptly stood up and slung his book bag on his shoulder. "Like you would have believed me," Harry said coldly, still upset with the morning's conversation. "Professor Snape wants to see me and I don't want to get a detention for taking too long." Without waiting for a response, he walked up to the front of the room. He knew he shouldn't be treating her that way, but he wasn't ready to talk yet. He was still too angry.

Hermione looked at Harry sadly. She really blew it that morning and now she felt awful. She only hoped Harry would come around. She looked to Ron, who obviously felt the same way, and the two walked out of the classroom quietly discussing the situation.

While Harry was standing at the front of the classroom, Severus walked around and picked up the vials that were on the front row tables to pass the time. He needed to wait until the classroom was empty before he began speaking to Harry.

Two minutes later the classroom was finally empty. "Take a seat Harry," Severus said while indicating to one of the stools at the front row of tables. After Harry sat down, dropping his book bag on the ground, he sat down next to him. He studied Harry for a minute. "Are you doing okay?" he finally asked.

"Yeah, I feel okay. About the same since breakfast. The fumes were just getting to me." He rubbed his forehead. "I just wish I didn't ruin my potion and end up with a zero on the assignment."

"You are not getting a zero."

"But I didn't finish," Harry stated. "I sneezed and ruined it. You vanished it. How could I not get a zero?"

"You will rebrew the potion when you are well. After all, it is my fault your potion was ruined."

Harry looked at Severus confused. "Your fault? I'm the one who ruined it."

"Yes, but I'm the one who let you go to class when you are still fighting the flu. I should have made you stay in bed today. If you were sent to the hospital wing by your Head of House, there would be no doubt in my mind that you would still be up there at this very moment."

"But…"

"You are not at fault and you will not be getting a zero." Severus stood up. "We'll discuss this again later tonight. Right now, you better get going to your next class. I do not want to find out you received a detention for being late." He looked at Harry meaningfully. "Remember what your conditions were if I let you attend classes."

Harry nodded. "I remember." He picked up his book bag and stood up, ready to leave the classroom. "Bye Dad."

"Goodbye Harry."

~SH~

Entering the DADA classroom, his last class before lunch, Harry quickly walked to his desk and sunk down into the chair. He set his book bag on top of the desk and rested his head on it, coughing a few times. He was beginning to feel really awful. Wanting to see what was scheduled for today's lesson, he raised his eyes and looked at the board. The entire class period was to be a practical lesson.

Knowing that he didn't have the strength or energy for the class, and remembering his promise to his father, he stood up from the desk, grabbed his book bag and walked to Remus who was up at the front of the room. He stopped a few feet behind the man, and rested his book bag on one of his feet. "Excuse me. Professor Lupin?"

Remus, having been setting up some props, turned around and smiled. "Oh. Hi Harry." He looked to the clock on the wall. "You're here a bit early today."

"Yeah." Harry turned to the side and sneezed into his elbow.

"Are you sick?" he asked concerned.

Harry nodded. "The flu."

"I see." Remus looked over Harry and noticed the slight shivering and pale face. "You really look unwell. You should be in the hospital wing. I'm surprised Madam Pomfrey even let you out to attend classes."

"She didn't. I was never there." A violent shiver racked Harry's body.

Remus pulled out his wand and waved it at Harry, checking his temperature. "You have a fever Harry. You really shouldn't be here."

"Yeah, I know. That's what I've come to talk to you about. Dad told me if I wasn't feeling well, I should go back to bed. That's where I'm going to go right now. I thought I'd be able to attend class, but I'm just not up to it, especially it being a practical lesson. I wanted to let you know before I left."

Remus couldn't help but smile at how Harry referred to Severus. "Thank you for letting me know, Harry. Now I know you just want to go to bed, but I insist you visit Madam Pomfrey. Why don't you go on up to the hospital wing and I'll have Ron bring your things to your dorm?" Remus turned around to walk to the back of the classroom to speak to Ron who had just walked in.

"No, professor," Harry almost shouted, which caused him to cough a bit. Don't."

"Why not?" Remus asked confused, walking back over to Harry.

"I'm going down to my bedroom in the dungeons."

"Very well." Remus was not completely sure Harry was telling the truth though. The boy usually did everything he could to get out of getting help when he was ill or injured. "I'll tell you what, Harry. I'll firecall Severus for you and let him know you're heading down to his quarters." He waited for Harry to argue, but surprisingly it never came.

Harry pulled his book bag up and put it on his shoulder, looking grateful at Remus. "Thank you Professor Lupin. If you don't mind, could you also tell him that I'm worse than I was in his class? He'll know what I mean."

"Of course Harry." Remus put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "I'll firecall him right now."

"Thank you, professor."

"You're welcome Harry. Feel better."

Harry gave a small smile and walked out of the classroom toward the dungeons.

Remus didn't even wait until Harry was out of the classroom before he went to his office to firecall Severus. Even though he was slightly worried about Harry's health, he was smiling the entire time. He knew Severus must be ecstatic that Harry finally accepted him as his father. He definitely was.

~SH~

The corridors were still full of wandering students on their way to classes, so Harry decided to take the secret passage down to dungeons. Not sure if he could be heard by anyone wandering the regular corridors, he decided he wouldn't make a sound until he got inside their quarters, and made a mental notice to ask Severus about it later. It was easier said then done however, as halfway there he felt an intense tickling in his nose and throat. Not sure if it was going to evolve into a cough or a sneeze, he clamped a hand around his mouth and nose hoping to stall either one. He knew he was probably being ridiculous, but he didn't want to take any chance of being discovered.

Feeling extremely weak, relief swept through him when he rounded the corner and the door was in front of him. He immediately placed his palm on the door, and when it opened, rushed in and closed it shut behind him. He couldn't wait to get out of his uniform and crawl into bed. He walked into his bedroom and dropped his book bag on top of the desk. He then went to take off his uniform and only got his robe halfway off, when the tickling he felt earlier manifested into a harsh coughing fit. When the fit ended, leaving him breathless and exhausted, all thoughts of removing his uniform vanished. He walked to his bed and collapsed on it, burying his face in his pillow and closing his eyes. He'd remove his uniform later.

~SH~

Severus was in his office grabbing the quizzes he gave his first years on Friday, when his fireplace lit up. Turning around, he spotted Remus' head in the dancing flames.

"Severus, if I could have a moment please?"

"In the event you didn't notice, Lupin, it is almost time for classes. I do not have idle time for chit chat," he growled and turned back to his desk.

Remus huffed. "It is about Harry."

Severus spun around, robes swirling at his feet, and quickly walked to the fireplace, his whole demeanor changing. Worry replaced irritation. "Harry? What happened? What's wrong?" Never did he think he'd ever be this worried when someone came to talk to him about Harry.

"Calm down Severus." Remus held up a hand. "Nothing has happened."

"Well then?" He couldn't think of any reason why the werewolf would be firecalling him then, especially minutes before classes were to start.

"Harry is on his way down to the dungeons. He sounded terrible; really congested. He was pale and was shivering so I checked his temperature. He's running a fever. He also said that he's worse than he was in potions, whatever that means."

Severus nodded. "Thank you Lupin. I will see to him." Not bothering to see if the conversation was over, Severus set the quizzes back on his desk and took off for his quarters. He missed the smile on Remus' face.

Upon entering, he immediately knew Harry hadn't arrived yet. Knowing he was short on time, as classes were set to start in less than ten minutes, he called one of the school elves to bring him a cup of tea. While waiting, he poured glasses of water and juice and set them on a tray. When the tea arrived he set that on the tray as well. After hearing some of the symptoms Harry displayed in his potions class, in addition to what Remus told him, Severus then went to retrieve the variety of potions Harry might need. He, of course, would want to check with Harry before administering anything and not just take the werewolf's word, though for once he felt Remus was more than likely spot on.

Hearing the door in the hallway shut, Severus grabbed the tray and headed to Harry's bedroom. "Lupin wasn't lying," he stated upon entering, having heard Harry coughing. "You sound dreadful."

Harry, having been on his bed, rolled on to his side and tried to glare at Severus, but it ended up looking more like a grimace. "Thanks. You really know how to make a person feel better." He coughed again and groaned, pushing his face back in to his pillow.

Severus just raised an eyebrow, both at the comeback and at the amount of congestion in Harry's voice. He hadn't sounded that bad earlier. He walked to the night table and set the tray down.

He took a seat on the side of the bed, studying Harry. Harry was pale, like Remus had mentioned, with bright pink spots high on his cheeks. He knew he should use his wand to get Harry's true temperature, but whenever possible, he wanted to have physical contact with the boy. Part of it was for his own selfish needs, but it was also for Harry. Harry hadn't gone out and said it, but he had a feeling the boy never had any type of contact like this in the past. Besides, he'd be able to gauge Harry's temperature well enough with his hand. "Come over here."

Harry slowly scrambled up and sat against the headboard close to Severus. Before he even knew what was happening, Severus' hand was moving toward his forehead. Harry wanted to say that Professor Lupin had already checked his temperature, but he couldn't form the words. Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned in to the cool touch, savoring the now familiar feeling.

"You're warm." Severus stated after removing his hand. He grabbed the fever reducer from the tray.

Harry slowly opened his eyes and noticed Severus holding out a vial in front of him. He took it and gulped down its contents. After handing it back, he leaned his head against the headboard sighing and closed his eyes.

"What is bothering you, Harry?" Severus asked softly.

Harry didn't answer, suddenly feeling slightly uncomfortable with the concern his father was showing. He hadn't had any problems answering before when Severus asked, but for some reason he did now. Maybe it was because it was his own fault he felt as bad as he did. If he had stayed in bed instead of attending classes like his father had asked last night, he probably wouldn't be feeling as awful as he was. In some ways, he felt like he deserved to feel this way.

"Classes are to start in just a few minutes." He put a hand on Harry's leg. "I know how hard this is for you, but in order for me to make you feel better, I need to know what's bothering you. I can't stand it when you're hurting and won't tell me what's wrong. Come on Harry," he said with a touch of sternness to his voice.

With a warm feeling in his chest over his father's words, he finally replied. "I'm cold, achy and really congested." He opened his eyes and looked to Severus. "Everything hurts; my throat, my head, my face, my stomach a little. Even my clothes touching my skin hurts."

Severus looked at Harry sympathetically. He then grabbed the remaining two vials on the tray and held one out to Harry. "This is the pain reliever. It along with the fever reducer should help with your achiness. This…" he held out the other vial, "is for your congestion. It should help with your coughing and sneezing. However, be warned, this potion does cause drowsiness."

Nodding, Harry downed both vials. "Thanks." He looked down to his lap and played with his tie, his earlier thoughts returning. "I'm sorry."

Knitting his brow, Severus looked at Harry in confusion. "Sorry for what?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders and looked up to Severus. "This. I know I should have stayed in bed, and because I didn't, I'm worse. I'm sorry I pushed you into letting me attend classes today."

Severus didn't respond. He stood up from the bed, brushed Harry's hair off his forehead and left his hand on the top of his head. "Get in to your pajamas and rest. I'll be back at lunch." He removed his hand and got up to return to his office, as classes were to start in two minutes.

Scooting over to the edge of the bed, Harry watched Severus leave his bedroom, and a few seconds later, heard the entry door open and close. With a sigh, he stood up and changed out of his uniform into his pajamas. He took a few sips of the hot tea and flopped back on to his bed. He lay staring at the ceiling for a while. Feeling exhausted, he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. However, he wasn't tired enough for sleep. Slightly bored, he got up and grabbed his Charms text and notebook from his book bag. He might as well get started on the homework that was assigned that morning.

After setting the notebook next to him on the bed, Harry propped up his pillows, slid down so he was lying partially under his comforter and opened the text to the required chapter to begin reading.

~SH~

The first year Hufflepuff and Slytherin students rushed out of the potions classroom a few minutes before lunch was to begin. As soon as the last one left, Severus began rounding up the few tools and ingredients the scatterbrained students didn't bother to put away. Compared to most of his lessons with this group, or any of his classes actually, today's was by far the worst. Two cauldrons had exploded. One actually being his own. He couldn't even remember the last time he had one of his potions explode while teaching.

Both explosions were because of his lack of concentration. He had been too caught up in worrying about Harry that he didn't even realize he put too much ginger root in his own potion while giving his demonstration, or foresee the inevitable disaster with one of his Slytherins who was too busy watching the girl sitting in front of him instead of his cauldron.

He shook his head as he put back a pestle on the shelf at the side of the room. His lack of concentration while teaching had indeed caused problems, but he would never give up caring for Harry. He didn't even think he'd ever again be able to live without the feeling he got while caring for the boy. Harry was all that mattered in his life, and it still felt a bit strange to even think that.

As he walked back to his desk at the front of the classroom, he looked at his burnt cauldron and quickly repaired it with the wave of his wand. It was obvious he couldn't worry about Harry and conduct classes at the same time. But then, this being the first time Harry was unwell and absent from classes, maybe his lack of concentration was a one time thing. If it wasn't, would he have to cancel his classes? Either way, it was something he decided to think on heavily.

Glancing around the classroom and seeing everything was in its place, he picked up his students' homework, walked out into the corridor, locking the room behind him and headed directly to his quarters. He walked immediately to the kitchen, dropped the homework on the table and put some water on to boil for tea. While the water was heating up, he decided to see how Harry was doing and to find out what he would like to eat for lunch.

He slipped out of his teaching robes and set them on the chair in the study on his way to Harry's bedroom. He went to enter the bedroom and stopped just inside the doorway. Harry was asleep on his back with his Charms text tented on his chest. One leg was on top of the comforter and the other was underneath. Giving a silent chuckle, he walked quietly to the bed and removed the text, which Harry still had one hand on. Spotting the notebook on the empty side of the bed, he leaned over and removed that as well.

Once both items were placed on the desk, he walked back over to the bed and readjusted the comforter so all of Harry was underneath it, not just one leg. He didn't want to wake him so he could eat lunch, so he just let him sleep. Checking to make sure he didn't need any juice or water, Severus left the bedroom and headed back to the kitchen.

Water now boiling on the stove, he made himself a cup of tea and sipped it while making a sandwich for lunch. Sitting down, he pulled the homework assignments over to him and alternated between eating lunch and grading homework. As he sat there, he kept hoping he would hear Harry waking or coming into the kitchen, but neither happened.

With ten minutes until classes were to resume, Severus set aside his quill and walked back to Harry's room. He wanted to check on him one more time before he left. Harry was still asleep. He left and went to his study. Finding a blank piece of parchment on the desk, he returned to the kitchen and began writing a note for Harry in the event he woke up before classes ended for the day. When his note was complete, he called a house elf for a bowl of soup. As soon as the soup was delivered, he put a warming spell on it. Bowl of soup and note in hand, he returned to Harry's room and set them both on the night table.

With one last look at Harry, he left his quarters and returned to the potions classroom. He only hoped his next few classes went better than the one he just had.

~SH~

Yawning, Harry rubbed at his eyes and turned on to his side, cuddling under the comforter. He glanced at the clock and saw it was just after two. He began wondering if Severus came here for lunch instead of the Great Hall. As he yawned and burrowed further into his pillow, he immediately knew his father had come here. The last thing he remembered was reading his Charms text, and now the book and his notebook were gone from the bed. And he clearly remembered not being completely under the comforter either. Smiling widely, he looked at the night table again and that's when he saw the folded piece of parchment and a bowl. He ignored the bowl for the moment and grabbed the parchment to read.

_Harry,_

_I am sorry we were not able to have lunch together, but your rest was too important to disturb. I have left you a bowl of soup for lunch, as I wasn't sure what you would be able to eat. A warming charm has been placed on the bowl. Please try to eat some of it._

_I unfortunately have a staff meeting to attend after classes end today, so I will not be back until four pm. If you need me before then for anything, all you have to do is say my name. I will be there as soon as I can._

_Rest and I will see you later._

_Dad_

Harry's smile, if possible, doubled in size at the way Severus signed the note. Dad. He read the word again and closed his eyes as they filled with tears. That word made him feel so lighthearted. He couldn't explain it, but he wanted to keep that note forever; to be able to treasure it always. It was the first thing he ever received with the word dad on it. Slipping out of bed, he walked to his book bag and put the note inside. He would add it to the photo album up in his dorm as soon as possible.

Deciding he'd better try to eat, he grabbed the bowl of soup and sat back on the bed against the headboard. He ate about half the bowl before setting it back on the night table, unable to eat anymore. With a yawn, he slid back down and pulled the comforter up to his chin. He had wanted to read some of his Charms text, but he was too tired. His father was right. The potion for his congestion did make him drowsy. Yawning again, he closed his eyes. He was asleep a few minutes later.

~SH~

Severus was seated at his kitchen table, reading his newest potions journal an hour after the staff meeting ended when Remus firecalled.

"Severus, do you have a few minutes?"

"What do you want Lupin?" His eyes never left the journal.

"May I come through?"

Severus hesitated and was almost going to deny him entry, but changed his mind. Lupin had, after all, notified him about Harry hours earlier. "Fine." Severus set the journal down on the table and called for a school elf to bring some tea. "Take a seat," he said to Remus who walked in to the kitchen.

Remus sat down across from Severus as the tea arrived. He took one of the cups and held it in his hands, staring at it with a small smile.

"Well?" Severus questioned when Remus didn't start speaking. "Did you wish to speak with me or did you come just to have tea? If it is the latter, you can take your leave."

After taking a sip of tea, Remus looked to Severus. "I have come to inquire about Harry. How is he doing?"

Severus' eyes glanced towards the direction of Harry's bedroom, concern written on his face. "He is as well as can be expected, though not as well as I had hoped. He is currently sleeping. He will no doubt be back to his mischief in a few days."

"That is good to hear." Remus smiled. He took another sip of tea and then set the cup on the table. "How are _you _doing Severus?" he asked carefully.

"What kind of idiotic question is that?"

"I heard something interesting this afternoon from one of my first year Hufflepuffs. But I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing." He let out a little chuckle.

Harry, who had been sleeping in his bedroom, was slowly awaking. Upon hearing Professor Lupin's voice in their quarters, he awoke fully moments later. He didn't think the DADA professor would ever be allowed inside their quarters. His father and the professor, after all, hated each other. Wondering why the man was here, he slipped out of bed and walked quietly to the hall's entrance. He knew he shouldn't eavesdrop, but he wanted to know what was going on. When he reached the entrance, he leaned against the wall, out of sight and listened.

"Severus, did your potion truly explode while you were demonstrating?"

"It did," Severus stated, simply.

Harry's jaw fell open at that admission. The thought was inconceivable. The man was a potions master for Merlin's sake. He was meticulous with his brewing. How could one of his potions explode?

"But it was a first year potion." Remus looked at Severus in astonishment. "What happened?"

Severus answered with only one word. "Harry." He stood up from the table and began pacing the length of the kitchen.

Harry froze and his heart almost stopped beating. And as Severus continued speaking, his stomach started to clench into a tight knot.

"I couldn't concentrate. All I could think of was Harry. I was fine this morning when I knew he was in classes. But after he came down here to bed, I was constantly worrying. He's been sick since Saturday. There's no one to watch him down here. What if his fever got worse?" He ran a hand through his lanky hair. "I don't think I can do this," he surprisingly admitted.

"What?" Remus asked, eyes following Severus up and down the length of the small kitchen. He'd never seen Severus this agitated before.

Severus stopped pacing and faced Remus at the table, placing his hands on the back of the chair in front of him. "I can't teach and care for Harry at the same time. Today, luckily, it was a harmless potion exploding. Well, two potions…mine and a student's."

"I didn't hear about the other one. Though a student's potion exploding isn't all that rare, Severus."

"I know that Lupin," he growled. "But what happens when it's a volatile potion? If I'm not concentrating one hundred percent while teaching these classes, someone's bound to get seriously hurt. Possibly killed," he added quietly. He sunk down in the chair in front of him and laid his arms out on the table. He had thought he made up his mind about the situation hours earlier, but now he wasn't so sure. "I can only do one. I can care for Harry or I can teach. Doing both is not an option."

Harry, beginning to tremble and breathe rapidly, as he knew which option Severus would take, turned around and fled to his bedroom. Not wanting to hear any more of the conversation, he closed his bedroom door and crawled into bed. Curling into a ball, he ignored the stinging in his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

Remus sighed and looked at Severus seriously. "Severus, you cannot be thinking what I think you're thinking? Do you know what that would do to Harry now that he's gained your trust?"

"No, I'm not thinking that." Severus sighed. "I do not want to give up having Harry as my son. I just don't think I can care for him while he's ill or injured and teach at the same time."

"You _can_ do both," Remus stated. "Just send Harry to the hospital wing." The answer seemed obvious to him. "Let the medi-witch care for him."

"I can't do that. I will _not_ do that. What would it say to Harry when I send him off to the hospital wing every time he's hurt or sick?" He put his elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands. "The Dursley's more than likely never provided care for him in those situations. I do _not_ want to be like them. Harry deserves more than that."

Not answering, Remus thought it over for a minute. "There is another option. You do know that you do not have to teach every single day of classes. How many times do you see the other professors leave for a few days here and there to take care of ailing family members?"

"No one is to know Harry is my son." Severus argued.

"You can still take time off. Professors are also allowed to take days off for personal reasons. The headmaster does not require us to give an explanation."

"I have never taken a day off before."

"You have a good reason now. If Harry is so important to you, it is something you need to do. I know it's all new for you; all these worries and concerns, but just take a day or two off until Harry is well again." Remus stood up. "My bet is that the next time Harry comes down with something, you'll be more comfortable with the situation and will able to teach just fine. Think about it Severus. You owe it to yourself…and to Harry." He walked to the fireplace and flooed to his own quarters without a backwards glance at Severus.

Severus took a sip of tea and stared at the table, thinking over Remus' comments. He was surprised that he let all his concerns slip to the werewolf, but was somewhat grateful for the advice.

~SH~

While Severus was finishing washing the dishes from their dinner, Harry was curled up on the sofa under a blanket resting against his pillow, staring at the flickering flames in the fireplace. He had wanted to stay hidden in the bedroom, but Severus forced him to eat dinner at the kitchen table. It had been an extremely uncomfortable thirty minutes for him.

Harry swallowed thickly and turned his head enough to steel a glance at the professor in the kitchen. No doubt any moment now Severus would tell him he'd be spending the next couple of days in the hospital wing and that he was no longer wanted.

When the dishes were clean and put away, Severus walked to the living room and sat down on the sofa. He turned to Harry. "Harry, there are a few important things we need to discuss."

Shifting his gaze from the fireplace to his blanket covered knees, he nodded and bit his lip, knowing where this conversation was going. He should have known he wasn't meant to have a father. Surprisingly, he wasn't angry. He was just extremely upset. He had come so close.

"First, you will not be attending classes tomorrow."

The first thing out of his fath…professor's mouth was he wasn't going to be attending classes? Was that the man's way around saying _I no longer want to be your father? You're too much work?_ Face crumpling and a painful burn beginning in his throat and behind his eyes, he stood up and grabbed his pillow, intent on going to his bedroom to pack up his few belongings. The less time he was down here in the dungeons, the better.

"Harry." Severus reached out and grabbed Harry's wrist to stop him from leaving the moment he saw Harry's expression. He honestly didn't expect that kind of reaction. "Sit down." When Harry was sitting down next to him, he released his wrist. "What is wrong?"

Harry shrugged, still not looking at Severus.

Severus studied Harry. The lack of communication, downcast eyes, incredibly sad expression, and hunched shoulders could only mean one thing. He had obviously overhead part of his conversation with Remus. He had seen Harry's closed bedroom door right before dinner and had known it wasn't closed before he spoke with Remus. He didn't think anything of it at the time, but now it made sense.

"You heard what Professor Lupin and I were discussing," Severus stated, not questioned.

In response, Harry shrugged his shoulders again, blinking furiously.

"Look at me, please." When Harry made no move, Severus took Harry's chin in his hand, and gently turned his head so they were looking at each other. "Whatever you are thinking, stop."

"But…"

"Stop."

"But you don't want m…" Harry yelled, almost at the point of tears.

"Do _not_ finish that statement, Harry," Severus warned.

Harry clamped his mouth shut at the tone.

"Now, let me finish what I was going to say before you thought to leave. If you want to finish that statement when I'm done, then by all means, do."

Dropping his eyes, Harry nodded.

"I would like you to stay here tomorrow and not attend classes. I do not want to have a repeat of today. It only caused a setback in your recuperation. Having to concentrate on your lessons, both practical and lectures, when you were feeling unwell was difficult enough. But the exertion of walking through the corridors and up and down the stairs to go to and from your classes was too taxing on your currently weakened system. I should have stood my ground last night. Again, I am sorry."

"Having eavesdropped on my conversation with Professor Lupin," Severus paused as he watched Harry's face turned slightly red in embarrassment and raise his eyes to look at him, "you know doubt heard that I had my own potion explode on me while teaching. I obviously cannot currently teach and worry about you at the same time."

Harry dropped his head and eyes again in guilt.

"That is why I'll be spending tomorrow down here keeping an eye on you. As you still have a slight fever and your symptoms haven't receded any, I'm more than a little concerned. I will be speaking with the headmaster about obtaining a substitute for my classes."

Severus let that sink in before he asked his next question, trying not to smirk as he did. "Now, do you want to finish your earlier statement?"

Clamping his lips together, Harry shook his head minutely. "No."

"Good. Now we only have one final matter to discuss. Your eavesdropping and resulting punishment."

Harry jerked his head up. "Pu…punishment?" He gulped. He couldn't believe he was going to be punished, and for something as small as eavesdropping.

Besides the Dursley's giving him unfair 'punishments' he had never been punished before in his life, detentions excluded. What did that actually mean? Was he going to get spanked? He'd seen Mrs. Weasley do that to Ron once. But he was too old for that, wasn't he? Or maybe he'd be grounded. He'd heard that's one of the punishments Seamus receives often. Maybe he wouldn't be able to eat dinner for a week. Maybe he would be forbidden to spend time down here. He really didn't like that last one and hoped it never crossed his father's mind.

"Yes," Severus responded, interrupting Harry's internal thoughts. "Punishment. Now, do you know why I'm going to punish you for eavesdropping?"

"Eavesdropping is no big deal. I don't need to be punished. You can't punish me for that," Harry stated outraged.

Severus raised an eyebrow, a dark look crossing his face, at Harry's outburst. "As I am your father, I can and I will," he stated sternly.

Harry gulped and looked down. He immediately found it hard to be mad at being punished and decided to answer his father's question. "It's rude to listen in to other people's private conversations," he said quietly.

"And?" Severus queried when Harry didn't continue.

"Erm…and…and there are some things I don't need to hear." Harry then thought about what he felt in the hall and just a few short minutes ago. "Eavesdropping can hurt me unnecessarily," he finally admitted.

"That is especially true. Eavesdropping is a bad habit, Harry. I know your curiosity drives you to do many things, but I would hope you will not eavesdrop again. If I find out you have, you will be punished. Keep that in mind."

"I'll try."

"You better do more than try," Severus stated.

"So, what are you…I mean, how are you going to punish me?"

Severus looked at Harry levelly, tapping a finger on his lips while thinking it over. "I think for this first infraction, I will take away your broom for a week. Once you are well of course."

Harry looked at Severus in shock, his mouth open. "My broom? But I just…."

"It _is_ a punishment Harry," Severus interrupted. "And a mild one at that."

"Ok," he said quietly. He looked down and played with the pillow that was resting on his lap for a minute. He then looked back up to Severus, seriously. "I…I'm sorry I eavesdropped, and for what I was thinking earlier."

"Harry."

"I know it was stupid to think that you…"

"Harry."

"…I know I probably jumped to conclusions…I know I don't…."

Sighing at Harry's continued ramblings, Severus reached an arm around Harry's shoulders and pulled him close. "Be quiet already."

"I'm sorry…" Harry said, voice wobbly.

"Shhh." He ran his hand up and down Harry's arm. "I know you're used to adults going back on their word…"

"But I shouldn't have thought you…I mean, you've done so much already, and…"

"Quiet," Severus almost whispered. "I will never change my mind about you or make you leave. Remember that."

Harry didn't say a word. He just sat there enjoying the feeling of his father's arm around him.

Severus chuckled a moment later. Here he was trying to comfort Harry because he was upset at the thought of having to leave his presence, when all his other students would jump up and down in celebration the moment they could leave his presence.

Surprised at the still unfamiliar sound, Harry looked up. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Severus responded with a smile. He ran his hand up and down Harry's arm again. "Nothing."

Harry leaned his head on Severus' chest and scooted closer to him, Severus' arm tightening around him in response. He smiled and closed his eyes.

~SH~

Severus took a seat in Albus' office. While he waited for the man to finish his letter, his eyes traveled to the perch Fawkes was resting upon. Before he could even form the thought that Fawkes looked dreadful, the phoenix burst in to flame. It still amazed him every time he saw it.

"Severus," Albus spoke a few seconds later, eyes still on the parchment in front of him. "What brings you here this late in the evening?"

"I wanted to give you some warning that I will not be able to teach my classes tomorrow."

Albus looked up and set his quill down on the desk. "You won't be able to teach tomorrow? And why is that?"

Severus cleared his throat. "I have some more important matters I need to attend to."

"More important? What could be more important than teaching your students?" Albus gazed at Severus through slightly narrowed eyes.

"I am fully aware that I do not need to discuss my reasons with you, Albus. As such, all I will tell you is that I will not be teaching tomorrow. Also, there may be times in the future where I'll need some time off as well."

A smile forming, Albus looked at Severus somewhat excitedly. It was the first time that he could remember Severus actually asking for time off. He wasn't going to deny his young teacher that. "I hope you will enjoy your time off Severus. You have nothing to fear with your classes. I will find a suitable substitute for you." He stood up from his desk and folded the letter he had been writing into an envelope. "I do hope one day you will confide in me why you need the time off."

"Thank you Albus." Severus rose from the chair and left for the dungeons, ignoring the last statement the headmaster made. No doubt the headmaster himself would teach his classes. He only hoped he had a classroom left when he returned on Wednesday.

~SH~

Reaching the door to the secret passageway Wednesday morning, Harry stopped and turned around, facing the hall. He let his eyes roam from the bedroom doors to the little bit of the study he could see for a few seconds before he dropped his gaze to the floor.

Severus, who was shrugging into his teaching robes, spotted Harry still in their quarters. He sighed as he saw the look on Harry's face. "You are not leaving for good. Remember you can come down here any time you want and can stay the night Fridays, Saturdays and even one day during the week."

Harry looked up to his father who had now walked next to him. "I know. It's just…."

"Harry," Severus interrupted. "A lot has happened in the last five days. I know you're reluctant to leave right now and go back to your normal routine. I am…" he stopped and ran a hand down his face, "…I am, I admit, reluctant to let you leave as well. But we both know you must."

"I wish it was summer so I didn't have to leave," Harry stated quietly.

"There are only a few more weeks until the week-long Spring holiday. Then you may spend that entire week down here. But more than likely, by the time it comes you won't even think about coming down here at all."

"That's not true," Harry responded forcefully, shaking his head back and forth.

"You will eventually. It's inevitable." Severus tried not to let the hurt he felt at that thought appear in his voice. What sixteen year old would want to spend their free time with an adult?

Not knowing why exactly, Harry turned and gave his father a fierce hug. "I won't," he mumbled into Severus' chest.

A few seconds later Severus pulled out of the hug and lightly turned Harry around with one hand while opening the door with another. He then placed a hand on Harry's neck. "Go on to breakfast. And take it easy today."

"I will." He turned his head so he was looking at Severus again. "Thanks dad."

Severus smiled. "Go."

~SH~

Harry walked up the corridors to the Great Hall. When he entered, he spotted Ron and Hermione sitting towards the front of the Gryffindor table. At first he didn't want to sit with them, but he remembered his conversation with his father on Monday morning. Readjusting his book bag on his shoulder, he headed over to his friends and sat down across from Ron.

"Hey mate," Ron said around a mouth full of sausage as Harry sat down. "You look a lot better than you did at the beginning of the week."

"Hi guys. Thanks." Harry scooped some oatmeal into a bowl. He still didn't have that much of an appetite from being sick.

Hermione put down her juice glass and looked at Harry seriously. "Now before you try to interrupt me, Harry, please let me finish what I'm going to say." After receiving a nod, she continued. "Thank you. We know that whatever is going on with you is none of our business, but just know that we worry about you. I know you're still probably angry with Ron and me, but I hope that we can get our friendship back to the way it was. We promise we won't push you anymore. If you don't want to talk, we won't keep bugging you."

Harry gave his friends a small smile. "Thanks guys." He took a few bites of his breakfast then washed it down with some juice. "Erm…I'm sorry I went off on you the other day. I wasn't feeling well and, you know, then you wouldn't leave me alone. I snapped. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize mate," Ron offered. "We know we were the ones to cause that reaction in you. Just forget about it."

Having finished eating her breakfast, Hermione pushed her plate off to the side and crossed her arms on the table. "Harry, I now know you've been sick. I was worried about you Monday night since I hadn't seen you since Potions. I went up to the Hospital Wing but you were not there. Where have you been staying?"

"I thought you just…" Harry began angrily.

"Harry," Hermione interrupted, "I won't know ahead of time whether or not you will want to answer a question I ask."

Harry realized Hermione did have a point. "Sorry, Hermione." He looked between his two friends. "I know there are some things you want me to tell you. I wish I could tell you everything. But not right now. When I am able to, I promise I will."

"Right. Now let's get back to breakfast," Ron stated, trying to lighten the mood. "All this serious talk has me starving."

The three laughed and went back to their breakfast.

Feeling thankful to Severus for his advice on Monday about his friends, Harry took a quick glance at the head table. His eyes met immediately with his father's. He gave the man a small nod and smile and turned his attention back to his friends.

As the three finished their breakfast, Ron regaled them with the latest happenings in the sixth year boy's dormitory. With Harry not around to pass the time, Ron had been using some of his brothers' jokes in the dorm room. Once they finished breakfast, they headed off to classes, chatting and trying to return some normalcy to their friendship.

* * *

_Happy Halloween! It only seemed fitting that I update today. I hope you all enjoy this extra-long chapter._

_I do want to apologize for these last few "mushy" chapters though. I don't know why Sev and Harry wanted me to write them. LOL I'm hoping there won't be as much "mush" as I continue writing. Anyway, thanks again for all the reviews and alerts and stuff. It means a lot! :)_


	34. Chapter 34

_In honor of DH Part 1 opening in a few hours (PST), I am proud to present a new chapter!_

* * *

**Chapter 34**

"I assume this Order meeting is over Professor Dumbledore?" Molly Weasley asked, as Dumbledore returned to his seat at the long table in the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place.

With the absence of Voldemort's attack on Hogwarts that was to have occurred near the beginning of the year, standing Order meetings had been called for the first Saturday of every month. The meetings were usually held in the evenings, but as they continued to run later and later into the night, it was decided that late morning would be a better time. As such, this crisp Saturday in March was the first meeting they had during daylight hours.

"It is Molly," Albus answered.

Molly nodded as she stood up and went over to the stove to make sure the lunch she had prepared was ready for those members sticking around for the meal.

Albus looked around the table of Order members, some still sitting and others stretching their legs getting ready to leave. His gaze landed on Severus who was still sitting and organizing some papers in front of him. He narrowed his eyes and concentrated on the man seated at the other side of the table. He had noticed something different about his potions master the last few weeks, but nothing as dramatic as what he witnessed in today's meeting.

Over the past few weeks, the man seemed preoccupied at times, more so than usual. He didn't seem as harsh in staff meetings and didn't voluntarily bring up Harry Potter as his usual. And it didn't pass his notice that his potions master's attention was more focused on Harry at meal times. Severus had even asked for time off last week. Albus, for the life of him, couldn't remember a single time his potions master requested time off in his entire teaching career. It was odd to say the least, especially for Severus to request the same day off when Harry was not in classes. It had to be more than a mere coincidence.

Added to all that, Severus had not said one derogatory thing about Harry during the meeting. In fact, he actually seemed concerned about Harry's role in everything that was brought up, and voiced his opinion quite loudly more than once, to the confusion of the other Order members.

Intent upon getting to the bottom of Severus' transformation, Albus walked around the table and stood off to the side of Severus. "Severus, would you please join me in the drawing room for a private discussion?"

Severus stopped organizing his papers and looked up to Albus. The determined look in the man's eyes did not bode well. He set the papers back down on the table and took his time following the headmaster to the drawing room.

Pulling his wand out after they entered, Albus secured the door and placed a silencing charm on the room. Severus raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. After Albus took a seat in the arm chair, Severus went to the writing desk and pulled out that chair, as it was the only remaining chair in the room, and sat down to face the headmaster.

"Severus, I know you're going to fight with me on this, but I need to know what's going on."

"I do not know what you mean Albus," Severus answered shortly, arms crossed over his chest. The headmaster's vagueness sometimes infuriated him. He was getting fed up with the mind games the man always seemed to play.

"Do not play dumb with me, my boy. You know perfectly well what I'm asking."

Severus didn't respond either way to the headmaster's comment. He just let the man continue as he knew he would.

"If I didn't know better, after your comments earlier today, I'd say you are concerned for Mr. Potter."

"I am not…" Severus began, only to be interrupted by Albus.

"Your normal vitriol when speaking about Mr. Potter did not make an appearance today. I have also noticed the same at staff meetings as well at various other items. What is with the change?"

After a few moments, Severus stood up and began pacing behind the writing desk, hands clasped behind his back. "Did you or did you not, Albus, request repeatedly that I try to put a stop to my behavior and mocking with regards to Harry?" He raised an eyebrow and turned to Albus. "I am only doing as you requested." He then continued his pacing.

Albus picked up right away how Severus addressed the boy. The man had _never_ spoken his first name. "Harry, Severus?"

Abruptly turning around, Severus met Albus' twinkling eyes. "I…"

"Severus," Albus began quietly, "Please tell me what is going on."

As much as he didn't want the headmaster to know about his relationship with Harry, he knew he would no longer be able to hide it. He pinched the bridge of his nose and placed his hands on the back of the chair he had been sitting in moments ago. His gaze was on the chair. "Harry is my son."

"Severus, quit joking," Albus stated seriously.

"Am I one to joke, Albus?" Severus replied, astounded.

Albus leveled his gaze at Severus. He knew joking was not a thing the man did. But he couldn't just believe that Harry was the man's son. "What happened? How long have you known?"

Severus took a deep breath and sunk down into the chair. "It was revealed to me on Halloween last year," he began. He then spent the next twenty minutes recalling the letter and everything that happened since that fateful day.

Not saying a word the entire time, but his face darkening a little, Albus listened to the entire story.

"Do you have any problems with mine and Harry's new relationship?" Severus asked, when Albus continued to stay quiet long after he was done explaining. It definitely wasn't a good sign. He wouldn't admit it, but he was terrified of his mentor's answer.

Giving a sigh, Albus stood up. "I am not happy about it, no. It is honestly the worst thing that could have ever been revealed, especially considering Voldemort is back." He paced the length of the room twice and stopped in front of Severus. "Severus, I do not want you to continue pursuing that type of relationship with Harry."

Severus was outraged. He wanted to jump up and start yelling at the man, but instead he took a few breaths, and began speaking in a quiet but deadly voice. "You cannot tell me to ignore my son, Albus. I will honor my duty as his father. If you think…"

"Do you know what would happen if word got to the Death Eater's Severus? All my work in preparing Harry would be for nothing," Albus interrupted, sitting on the edge of the desk. "You cannot pursue it. Harry is the only one who can defeat Tom Riddle, and I will not risk it."

Severus saw red. "Preparing Harry? Only one who can defeat…? He is nothing more than a pawn to you," Severus realized, his voice turning cold. He narrowed his eyes at Albus. "Albus, it is not on the shoulders of a sixteen year old _child_ to defeat the Dark Lord. That is what the Order is for." He shook his head while standing up and turned around, his back facing Albus. "I've been so blinded by my hatred of Harry these past years that I did not pick up on your true intentions for the boy. How could I have been so blind?" he whispered mostly to himself.

Albus ignored Severus' outburst. "You cannot pursue this. If word got out to Tom's followers…"

"I know what would happen, old man," he spat, turning back around. Did the headmaster honestly believe he was that naïve? "I am not one of your dunderheaded students. Harry and I have already discussed everything at length."

"Severus, I still don't think…"

"No, Albus, you _don't_ think. That is the problem. You never think of the effects your decisions have on the people involved. You only think of the end result. I have been faithfully following your orders for over fifteen years, Albus, but as of this moment, I am done. Harry is my son and I will continue to pursue that relationship with him. You cannot stop me." Severus strode to the door and released the charms Albus put on the room, needing to get away from the headmaster.

Dashing into the kitchen, Severus grabbed the papers he had been organizing and left headquarters. He was seething. He couldn't believe the gall the headmaster had; wanting him to deny being Harry's father. It was outrageous.

Once outside, he took a few deep breaths to calm himself while walking to the park to apparate.

After apparating to Hogwarts, Severus was finally calm. He took in his surroundings as he walked through the grounds up to the castle, all the while thinking about Harry. Not that he was the type of person to even notice or care; but it seemed to be a very nice day. Which would mean it would probably be a nice week as well. He began to smile somewhat mischievously. It would be a perfect week to instate Harry's punishment.

~SH~

Harry was in the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione working on their Potions homework late Sunday morning. Hermione had been insistent that they finish their homework early so they would have the rest of the day to do as they pleased. Ron and Harry agreed as it was perfect flying weather and there was talk in Gryffindor tower earlier about an impromptu Quidditch game against Ravenclaw later that day.

The three looked up as they heard an owl swoop into the room. They watched it as it flew towards them and landed in front of Harry. Surprise etched their faces as mail delivery was still a few hours away, and they had never seen an owl like the one in front of them. It was definitely not a school owl or a normal post owl. The owl looked at Harry, hooted, and dropped a piece of parchment on his homework. Before Harry could take a good look at the owl, it took flight and left the Great Hall.

"I wonder whose owl that was," Hermione commented as she watched the owl fly out of the room. Not waiting for an answer, she returned to her homework, ignoring Harry and Ron.

"Don't know," Harry responded, picking up the folded piece of parchment that had his name written in a familiar scrawl. He unfolded the parchment, covering his name in the event Ron or Hermione recognized the writing, and read the short note inside.

_Please come down to our quarters at 3pm this afternoon. Bring your broom._

Swallowing and giving a huff in annoyance, Harry crumpled the note up and put it in is book bag. He didn't even need to think about why his father wanted to see him. The last three words said everything.

"What is it mate?" Ron asked, after seeing Harry's reaction to the note.

"Er…nothing. Just…" He paused, needing to come up with an excuse. He looked to the staff table for inspiration. "Just that Professor Lupin wants to see me this afternoon."

"But why would you be angry with having to meet Lupin. He's a good professor, almost a friend. What did…"

"Ron," Harry said shortly, interrupting the redhead. "Leave it all right?"

Ron fiddled with his quill for a moment. "But what about the Quidditch game this afternoon?" he suddenly asked.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I won't be going."

"Can't you just tell Professor Lupin that you need to reschedule? It's perfect flying weather."

"That's not a good idea." Harry glanced to Hermione, surprised she hadn't given her opinion. Though she would probably, for once, agree with him.

Ron thought it over for a few seconds and nodded, agreeing. Even though the professor seemed more like a friend at times, he was still a teacher and students just didn't ask to reschedule meetings with them. He looked at Harry a few moments later, his ears beginning to turn red. "Could I borrow your broom then since you can't use it?"

Harry shook his head. "No," he answered quietly. He wasn't sure how to get out of this predicament.

"But Harry," Ron cried, "when you got it, you mentioned I could ride it. This would be the perfect time."

"No Ron."

Ron huffed. "Well, at least come by after your meeting. I'm sure it won't take all day. Then I can ride your broom."

"Ron!" Harry yelled.

"But you said…" Ron began angrily.

"Stop all right? I'm not going to let you ride it." He quickly grabbed his homework and shoved everything in his book bag. "I've got to go."

Ron watched Harry walk out the Great Hall in confusion. He really wished he knew what was going on with his friend.

~SH~

"You're here early," Severus stated upon opening the door to his quarters and seeing Harry standing on the other side.

"Yeah, I know," he responded sheepishly. "Um…is it okay for me to be here?"

"Harry, how many times do I need to tell you? You're always welcome. It's your home as well as mine while we're at Hogwarts." He moved aside to let Harry enter, noticing a small smile on the boy's face.

Once inside with the door closed behind him, Harry turned around to face Severus and held out his broom.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You still have a few hours. Are you sure you don't want to go flying until then?"

Harry shook his head. "No, you can take it," he responded quietly.

Severus took the broom and set it against the wall by the door, intent on putting it away a bit later. Turning back around, he narrowed his eyes and studied Harry, who was surprisingly still standing in the living room staring at his broom, but not really seeing it. "What is going on?"

At the question, Harry focused his gaze on Severus and shrugged his shoulders in response.

"Does it have anything to do with Weasley and Granger?" At Harry's second shrug, Severus placed a hand on Harry's neck and steered him to the sofa.

Harry sat down, placed his elbows on his thighs, hands clasped at his knees, and stared at the fireplace. Severus sat down next to him and put an arm on the back of the sofa.

"They keep bugging me," Harry said after a minute and looked to Severus. "If they ask me questions and I don't want to answer, I tell them I don't want to answer. But they still push me. Like today. Because I had to come here and give you my broom, I couldn't play in the Quidditch game with Ravenclaw." He stopped, horrified at what he just said. "I don't mean to make it sound like it's your fault," he quickly added. "It's not. It's because of my punishment. I know that. It's just an example, I…"

"I know what you are trying to say, Harry." Severus smirked. It was obvious Harry still was trying to get used to this new type of relationship. "Relax."

Harry nodded and began with his explanation again, though he wasn't able to look Severus in the eyes anymore. "Well, Ron asked me why I couldn't play and I had to make up an excuse since I couldn't tell him the truth. Then he kept getting on me about it and asking more questions. I told him stop asking, but he got mad."

"I told Ron and Hermione a few weeks ago that there are things that I'm not able to tell them right now and if I ask for them to stop asking me questions, then they should drop it. I've gotten mad at them a few times and yelled a lot. I keep apologizing, but they just won't stop."

Severus sighed. "Harry, you should not be the one apologizing. You're friends are in the wrong, not you. As you have said, you told them there are things you just can't discuss right now. They should respect your wishes and leave the subject alone."

"But I should apologize. I'm the one who..."

"I can see this is the result of the Dursley's 'care'," Severus interrupted. "Harry, you are not responsible for your friends' actions. If you've told them to stop asking questions, they should stop. If their constant badgering requires you to get mad at them, then that is their problem. They brought it on themselves. You are not the one who should be apologizing."

Harry gave a hesitant nod. He believed his father whole-heartedly but still couldn't rid himself of the Dursley's teachings that he was always at fault. "Okay."

"Good. I'm glad you understand." Severus stood up and walked to the kitchen. "I'm working on some research at the kitchen table if you want to join me." He noticed Harry had his book bag with him besides his broom. "You can complete some of your homework since you supposedly can't join in the Quidditch game for whatever reason you gave your friends."

~SH~

"Professor Lupin, what are you doing here?" Ron asked upon seeing the Defense teacher walk onto the Quidditch pitch early Sunday afternoon.

"As you know, Mr. Weasley, students are required to have a professor present for any Quidditch game whether it is formal or informal."

Ron's ears began to turn red. "I know that professor. I just meant…I thought you wanted to meet with Harry this afternoon. That's why Harry's couldn't play."

Remus looked at Ron in confusion. "I didn't ask to meet with him."

"But, you sent him a note earlier this morning. Harry said…"

"You must have misunderstood Harry," Remus interrupted.

"Yeah," Ron replied, and turned around to join the rest of his team. He didn't feel like arguing with the Defense teacher, but he knew that he in no way misunderstood Harry. What was going on with his friend? He was now determined to get to the bottom of it before the day ended.

~SH~

Harry had just returned the serving spoon back to the large bowl of buttered green beans when Ron sat down heavily next to him at dinner Sunday night.

"I'm sick of your lying Harry," Ron stated angrily, turning towards Harry on the bench.

"I don't know what you…"

"You're lying again," Ron interrupted.

Harry gulped. "I…"

"I know you weren't with Professor Lupin this afternoon. He was supervising our Quidditch game."

Harry looked at Ron's angry face and was going to apologize for lying when he remembered his conversation with his father earlier in the day. "So what if I was lying? You don't have to know what I'm doing every hour of every day." Harry knew the tone of voice he used wasn't called for, but he just couldn't help it. Ron made him so mad lately.

"What is going on with you?"

"Don't like it when you don't know everything huh? When things are kept from you and you are left in the dark?" Harry said shortly, almost at the point of yelling. "Now you know how I felt the summer before fifth year." Harry turned his attention back to his dinner plate, not sure why he brought that up. He began cutting up his chicken.

"Harry…"

Annoyed with Ron, Harry dropped his fork on his plate, the loud sound echoing in the hall, and turned towards him. "Why do you have to know everything that goes on with me? You and Hermione are not my keepers. Drop it Ron, all right?"

"Fine!" Ron replied, still angry with Harry.

Ignoring Ron's silent fuming, Harry went back to eating his dinner. He spoke up a few minutes later, his voice a lot quieter. "If you and Hermione are truly my friends, Ron, you both wouldn't question everything I say or do. You two would believe what I say and realize there has to be a good reason behind it."

Ron didn't respond and the two finished their meal in silence, only acknowledging Hermione when she appeared for the meal a bit later.

The bushy-haired Gryffindor could tell something was up so she decided to keep quiet. She knew Ron was going to confront Harry at dinner so that was why she came to the evening meal late. The conversation obviously didn't go well.

~SH~

"Ron and I had a long talk, Harry." Hermione sat down next to Harry on the sofa in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room a few hours after dinner Sunday night. Harry, who had been reading a book he took from Severus' library, closed the book as Ron sat down on the other side of him.

"I told Hermione about our conversation at dinner," Ron added, to clarify what Hermione was referring to.

"We're sorry," Hermione stated, her voice shaking slightly. "We should have been more considerate. I know you would have a good reason for doing and saying the things you were. You're not the type of person who goes around lying all the time. And you're right; Ron and I are not your keepers. We will stop trying to push you for answers."

Ron spoke up. "I hope you'll forgive us."

Harry stared into the fire a few moments before responding. "I want to believe you, but…"

"Our actions these past few weeks haven't led you to believe that you can." Hermione completed Harry's statement quietly. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry as well." Ron's ears began to turn slightly pink. "I don't like us being angry at each other all the time. I want to go back to the friendship we had before all this happened, Harry."

"Me too," Harry responded quietly. Not really wanting to talk anymore, he opened the book he had in his lap to continue reading.

Hermione left Harry to his thoughts, pulling out some homework from her book bag on the floor, but Ron spoke up again after remembering that afternoon. "Harry, after our game this afternoon, some of us went to McGonagall. She gave us permission to have a short Quidditch game a few times during the week. At least you can now get in a game or two since you couldn't participate today."

"Thanks Ron, but I'm going to pass."

"Why? Are you…" Ron stopped speaking the moment he realized what he was doing. "Sorry mate. It's going to take some getting used to." He looked at the fire and then back to Harry. "How about a game of wizards chess?" he asked, trying to get back to their normal friendship. "It's been a while."

"Sure." Harry gave Ron a small smile and the boy got up to get his chess set. While Ron was gone, he looked over to Hermione. She was thoroughly engrossed in one of her textbooks.

Ron came back down a few minutes later and the two moved over to one of the vacant tables to play. They played until they were shooed off to bed by Hermione about two hours later.

~SH~

"We will be practicing shield charms during our next class," Remus stated standing at the front of his sixth year Gryffindor and Hufflepuff Defense class Thursday morning. "Please read Chapter 24 in your texts before then. Class dismissed. Harry," he called out over the chatter of the leaving students. "Would you mind staying behind please?"

Harry finished putting his items away in his book bag and looked to Ron and Hermione who were waiting for him in the aisle. "Go ahead guys. I'll catch up with you later."

The three of them had been getting along better since their talk Sunday evening and were spending more time together. And true to their word, Ron and Hermione hadn't pushed him on any subject he didn't want to answer. They didn't even bring up the fact that he hadn't played one game of Quidditch so far that week.

"Have a seat," Remus stated, pulling out one of the chairs at the front of the classroom.

Feeling slightly nervous, as he had no idea why Remus would need to speak with him, Harry quickly walked to the front of the classroom and took the offered chair.

Remus sat on the desk and studied Harry, arms crossed over his chest. "I have a proposition for you," he finally said a minute later. "You see, some of my younger years, as well as the older years, are struggling a bit in Defense. A few mentioned the DA you coordinated and led last year."

Harry didn't respond but gave a slight nod. He couldn't tell what the man was up to.

"A few who were in it last year mentioned how well you taught even with the different ages and levels." Remus smiled. "Harry, would you like to continue? It won't be the DA, of course, but I thought it would be an excellent idea to have a defense club, or study group as it were. I am capable of teaching it, but I really think it would be an excellent opportunity for you. I know there are only a few more months left until the summer holiday, but would you would be interested?"

"Of course I would, professor," Harry responded, a huge smile on his face. He actually enjoyed teaching the DA last year.

"I would, of course, supervise all your meetings and give you help when and where you needed it, but you would run the entire thing. I really do think you would excel at teaching. I can see the difference in my classes with the students who were in the DA and those who were not."

Harry's face turned slightly pink at Remus' compliments. "Thank you."

Remus looked at the clock on the side wall. "I'd love to talk more about this with you, but I don't want to keep you from lunch." He stood up and Harry followed suit. "Why don't you stop by my office this afternoon around 4:00 and we'll talk more about it."

"Thanks professor." He placed his book bag over his shoulder. With one last smile at Remus, Harry left the classroom and headed to Gryffindor tower to drop off his book bag.

A few hours later after classes were over, Harry was sitting at one of the tables in the common room working on homework with Hermione while Ron was playing Exploding Snap with Neville. About a quarter to four, he began putting all his work back in his bag.

Putting a finger on the sentence she was reading in her Herbology text, Hermione looked up to Harry. "Are you done already?" she asked surprised. She didn't think there was any way Harry could be done with his homework before she was.

"No," he answered, standing up. "I've got to meet Professor Lupin in his office at 4 o'clock. I'll finish when I come back."

Hermione wanted to ask why he was meeting with the Defense professor, but knew she'd better not. She bit her lip. "Well, if you want, you can go ahead and just leave your bag here. If you don't come back before dinner, I'll have Ron bring it up to your bed."

Harry set his book bag back on the table. "Thanks Hermione. I appreciate it." He then left out the portrait hole and walked down to Remus' office. As he got closer, he began to feel slightly guilty about not asking Professor Lupin if his friends could join as well. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized he wanted this for himself. He needed to prove to himself that he was able to do it. He wasn't too sure how much of the DA's success was him and how much was his friends.

Before he even knew it, he was standing in front of the Defense professor's office. He raised a hand and knocked on the wooden door.

"Come on in, Harry," Remus greeted upon opening the door. "I've got some tea, or if you'd prefer hot chocolate, I can get you some."

"No thanks Professor," Harry stated as he sat down at one of the chairs in front of Remus' desk. "Tea is fine. Thanks."

Remus held out a cup for Harry. "As I mentioned after class today, Harry, I would like to set up a Defense study group. It is late in the school year for it, but I do think it will have a positive effect on everyone who wants to join. After the school year is over, I will determine if it would be beneficial to continue with the group next year as well."

"I think having the group, even for a few months, is good," Harry commented. "It's just too bad no one thought of it sooner."

"I agree." Remus took a sip of his tea and set the cup down in front of him on the desk. "I had wanted to offer this to all seven years, but I'm not too sure. I'm thinking maybe just the first four years."

Harry thought about that for a minute. "If you don't mind my saying, professor, I think that would be a little unfair. It's true that the older years should already know all the spells for their year, but I think it would be a great environment for them to practice. Besides, if you hadn't asked me about the possibility of teaching it, I'd be a little upset that I wasn't included in joining."

"You do have a point. However I just don't think it plausible for you to teach the sixth and seventh years." Remus ran a hand through his hair. "I guess it could be split into two groups. You can take the younger, say the first four years, and I'll take the older."

"That would work." Harry agreed. He honestly didn't see how he could handle teaching all seven years, even if he knew all the material.

"I was thinking I'd give you free reign over the group. You would be the one to come up with each week's topic and lesson. I will of course assist you if you need me."

"Really?" He couldn't believe he'd even get control over what was taught. "I guess I'll have to put some time aside to plan everything. But it will be fun."

Remus gave Harry a smile. "It's so good to see that you really want to do this. As I said earlier, it is an excellent opportunity for you."

Harry took a sip of his tea and held the cup in his lap. "I think so too. But I do have one concern."

"What is that?" Remus asked.

"Well, with all my homework and Occlumency lessons with my dad, I don't want to stretch myself too thin."

"Boy have you grown, Harry."

Harry knitted his brow in confusion as he looked at Remus.

Remus explained. "The Harry of a year or so ago wouldn't have cared if something like this had an effect on anything else. He would have just gone ahead with it. You are definitely turning into a responsible adult."

Slightly embarrassed, Harry ducked his head.

"Would once a week for a maximum of two hours work for you?" Remus asked. "I think that would give the students enough time to learn and practice without getting too tired."

"That sounds fine," Harry replied. "Do you have a particular day in mind?"

"You have your lessons with Professor Snape on Tuesdays and Thursdays correct?"

"Yes."

"Well, we can hold them Wednesday afternoons, or if you want a break between your Occlumency lessons, we can hold them Saturday mornings after breakfast."

Harry clamped his lips together in thought. "I think Wednesdays would be better."

"Excellent. I'll start making the announcements in all my classes beginning tomorrow. I think we should be able to start next Wednesday."

After taking another sip of tea, Harry thought about one important thing. "Were will we be holding these study groups?"

"I was thinking the Room of Requirement. It should be big enough."

"It worked well for us last year," Harry mentioned.

Remus took a sip of his tea and began studying Harry. "I am a little surprised Harry," he began quietly a few minutes later, "that you haven't asked about Ron or Hermione teaching with you."

"Yeah, well…I was going to ask, but well I…I really wanted to have this for myself. I know it sounds selfish, but every year they've always been by my side with everything. For once I want to do something by myself. I guess I want to be able to prove to myself that I can do something without their help."

Remus stood up and took the seat next to Harry. "You are not being selfish. It's only natural that you would want something for yourself every once in a while. And I must admit that I am glad to hear you say that you didn't want their help. I would have denied that option."

"You would have?" Harry asked surprised.

"Yes. I've watched you grow up for the past three years, Harry. Unfortunately a lot of it had been at a distance, but I have watched you. I always thought you were not living up to your full potential."

Harry bristled at that statement. Over the past few months he came to realize that Remus didn't care all that much for him. The man's past actions toward him proved it. Harry had already felt slightly upset that the man didn't care for him, but that one last statement made him feel worse. It was like a knife pierced his heart. Wanting to leave and not caring about the study group, Harry made to leave the office.

Remus, seeing Harry was going to leave, put a hand on Harry's arm to stop him. "Harry, don't take what I'm saying the wrong way. Let me finish explaining."

Harry slowly sat back down and looked at the man warily.

"I always thought you weren't living up to your full potential when you had your friends around. I don't think Ron and Hermione were holding you back, per se. It's just that their personalities are a little stronger than yours which means they have a stronger influence on you. If you are given the chance Harry, you can live up to your full potential and do extraordinary things. This study group is your chance to shine."

"I…what….I…" muttered Harry, not thinking the Defense professor would even say anything like that. It was actually slightly embarrassing. "Thank you."

Remus squeezed Harry's shoulder and walked back around to the other side of the desk and sat down. "Now, back to our original topic. Since we won't know how many students are interested in attending this new group, there is no need to start on a schedule yet. I think our first meeting next week should just be an informational meeting only. Talk about what we want to get out of these sessions and how they will proceed. We'll wait to see how the first one goes then we'll go from there."

Harry nodded. He still couldn't believe he was going to teach.

"Very well." Remus laughed and smiled at the look on Harry's face. "I can see we won't be able to do anything productive right now. Go ahead and finish your tea. You can stay here until dinner if you'd like. Though I do think you might have some homework to attend to."

"Yeah, I do have some homework," Harry replied a little distractedly. He took another sip of his tea and set the cup on the desk. "Thank you so much for this opportunity Professor Lupin."

"Don't thank me until we've had a few sessions. You may change your mind." He laughed again then stood up to walk Harry out of his office. "I'll let you know more of the details for Wednesday after I've spoken with my classes. I'll also make an announcement in the older years about a study group for them. Have a good evening Harry."

"Good night professor," Harry replied and left the man's office back for the Gryffindor common room.

~SH~

"What is wrong with you?" Severus asked Harry, slightly amused, before their Occlumency lesson was to begin. The boy was practically vibrating off the chair he was sitting in.

With a smile on his face, Harry answered. "Professor Lupin asked me to teach a defense study group for the first through fourth years. Can you believe it? He actually wants me to teach! He'll be there of course, but it will be just me teaching. Can you believe it?"

Severus gave a small smile at the boy's excitement. "I don't see why you should be so excited. It sounds just like that group you led last year."

Harry's excitement lessened at his father's lack of excitement. "It's not like the DA," he explained. "I'm doing this all by myself."

"But I thought you taught the DA. That's what the headmaster relayed to the staff."

"I didn't teach the DA by myself. It was a group effort between Ron, Hermione, and me. This group will be taught just by me." Harry's excitement returned. "I get to come up with everything. Can you believe it? I'm going to be teaching!"

"I do hope that you won't forget about your studies. Being a student comes first." Severus looked at Harry pointedly.

"I know that. I already told that to Professor Lupin."

"Good." Severus was surprised. He wouldn't have thought Harry would put his studies first. "But if I see you lacking in any of your subjects, I will put a stop to your teaching."

"You won't have to worry," Harry responded honestly.

Severus nodded. "Very well." He looked at Harry for a minute. "This is a wonderful opportunity for you Harry. It's not every day a student is afforded this type of opportunity. I'm very proud of you."

"You are?" Harry asked flabbergasted.

"Of course I am."

Harry clamped his lips together tightly as he felt an intense burning behind his eyes. He'd _never_ had anyone say that they were proud of him using those exact words. He couldn't even describe what he was currently feeling.

Severus gazed at Harry and could see every emotion he was feeling. He got up and walked around his desk towards Harry and opened his arms. "Come here."

Eight months ago, the thought of hugging anyone would have made Severus want to perform the killing curse on himself. But now, he wanted to hug Harry whenever he could. And the best part was, he knew that Harry would always welcome one.

Harry stood up and rushed into Severus' arms. He started sniffling as his father wrapped his arms around him. "Thanks Dad."

"I know you will do well, Harry." After a few seconds, and with Harry's sniffling intensifying, Severus ran a hand up and down Harry's back once. "Come now. Stop those tears. We can't have a lesson if you start crying."

"Then I think I will cry, thank you very much," Harry responded with a watery laugh, though he was trying to stop.

Severus ended the hug, reached into his pocket and handed Harry a handkerchief. "Dry those tears." He walked back around to the desk and sat down, watching Harry while he composed himself. "Are you ready?" he asked once it looked like Harry was done.

Harry blushed a little in embarrassment. He always seemed to cry or be in tears around his father lately. Before this year he couldn't really remember the last time he shed a tear. "Yeah, I'm ready," he finally responded.

"Good. Now let's review what you learned during Tuesday's lesson."

* * *

_I__'m hoping this chapter didn't appear too rushed. There are parts that I'm not happy about, but I think it's the best I can get it. As I finished writing it, I realized I am past my halfway point and getting nearer to the end of my story. Don't worry, there are still a lot of chapters left and it probably won't be complete for months to come. And who knows, the characters may take over like they already have and I may not be as close to done as I thought. :)_

_As always, thank you all for your reviews, alerts, suggestions and kind words. They all make me want to keep on writing. And with knowing DH opens in a few short hours, I'm hoping I get lots and lots of reviews to keep me going until I can see it on Saturday. Hint...hint...hint. :)_


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Not able to concentrate on the homework lying in front of him, Harry set down his quill and looked at Ron and Hermione who were across from him. The three were sitting at a table in the back corner of the library Tuesday night. They were supposed to be working on homework, but Harry noticed Ron was reading a Quidditch magazine instead of working on the Transfiguration essay that was due tomorrow.

Ever since speaking with Remus last Thursday about the defense study group, Harry had been trying to come up with a way to tell his friends about it. He would have rather not said anything, but he knew word would get out after the first lesson and that wasn't how he wanted his friends to find out. He also didn't want to have to start lying about where he was every Wednesday night if he didn't mention it, either. It was hard enough coming up with different lies for when he was down in the dungeons with Severus. Coming up with another lie would be ridiculous.

He was dreading having this conversation as much as he was his friends reactions. But he knew it had to be done.

Harry looked around making sure Madam Pince was no where nearby, as he didn't want a scolding for talking too loud. Through the stacks, he spotted the strict librarian speaking with a group of Ravenclaws at the front desk. He turned back to the table and cleared his throat. "Erm, guys, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure," Hermione said setting her quill down and marking her place in the text she was reading.

"Of course," Ron replied over the top of his magazine which was still in his hands. "What's up?"

"Well, I…you see…I've been asked…." Harry stammered, not sure how to begin. He picked up his quill and started playing with it, twirling it between his fingers.

Hermione looked at Harry with slight sympathy. Whatever Harry had to say must be important since he was having a hard time of it. She hoped that maybe he was finally coming clean about why he had been lying these past few months. "It can't be that bad, Harry," she encouraged.

"No, it's not bad. It's brilliant actually." He smiled widely at his friends.

"Well then?" Ron finally put down his magazine and gave Harry his full attention.

"Professor Lupin is starting up a defense study group. He…"

"We know that mate," Ron interrupted. "We were sitting in class with you yesterday, remember?"

"I know, Ron," Harry continued, "but he's also got one group for the first through fourth years too."

Hermione nodded. "I thought I heard one of the second years mentioning something earlier in the week. I'm glad we finally have a proper Defense teacher who wants to make sure we know as much as we can." She leaned over the table and whispered, "With You-Know-Who out there, we all need to be prepared."

"Is that what you wanted to tell us?" Ron asked. "That Professor Lupin started a group for the younger years?"

"It has to do with it, yeah." Harry set his quill down again and took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Remember on Thursday after defense class when Professor Lupin asked me to stay behind?" Hermione and Ron nodded. "Well, he told me about wanting to start a defense study group. After the success with the DA last year, he asked me if I would want to teach. I'm going to be teaching the younger group."

"Excellent," Ron almost shouted.

"That's great Harry," Hermione added. "Why didn't you tell us before? I know our group is starting this week so I would assume the younger group would be as well."

"It is, Hermione. Tomorrow actually."

"That doesn't give us much time to prepare. How are we going to get ready in less than a day?" Hermione asked, while quickly searching in her book bag for a spare notebook to start writing up a lesson plan.

Harry looked from Ron back to Hermione, dreading what he had to say next. "The thing is…he only wants me to teach."

"What?" Ron yelled outraged.

Hermione stopped her searching and turned to Ron, a finger on her lips. "Shh. We're in a library, remember?" She turned back to Harry, not sure if she heard him correctly. "What do you mean he only wants you to teach?"

"Just what it sounds like Hermione. He only wants me."

Ron couldn't believe that the defense professor only wanted Harry. Fuming, he began to speak, his voice exceedingly loud. "But that's…OW!" he yelled when Hermione kicked him under the table. He bent down to rub at his shin while glaring at Hermione. Once the sting was gone and he sat back up, he looked to Harry. "You did at least ask if Hermione and I could help you, right?"

Not answering, Harry looked down to his homework.

"You didn't ask," Hermione stated at Harry's silence. "Why not?" she questioned, her voice carrying the hurt she was beginning to feel. "The DA was only successful because the three of us taught it."

Harry's head snapped up and he glared at Hermione. "So you think I'm not able to teach, is that it?" He watched as Hermione shook her head no. He then looked to Ron and only saw his anger. Harry looked back down to his homework, sighing. He really didn't want to be angry with his friends and he also didn't want them mad at him. "Look, I know you two are angry with me, but I had no control over the situation. Professor Lupin even told me that if I had asked if you two could teach with me, he would have denied my request."

"Of course," Ron interrupted, jealousy coloring his tone, "the famous Harry Potter gets everything once again."

"Ron!" Harry hissed. He took a few deep breaths. It wouldn't do to start yelling at him. He knew that wouldn't help matters. "You want to be me with a murderer hunting you down? Be my guest." He looked back to Hermione, not able to take Ron's anger anymore, and hoped she would at least understand. "Professor Lupin thinks I'll be really good at teaching and that this is a good opportunity for me." He was going to stop there, but decided to share one of his other reasons for accepting the offer, hoping it would dampen their anger. "This will be the first time I can see how much I truly know. To see how much…" He stopped then swallowed. "To see how much of a chance I'll have when I have to face Voldemort. To perfect everything I know when the time comes for me to be in that life or death situation," he finally said, quietly. "Can't you at least be happy for me?"

Glaring at Harry and not saying a word, Ron picked back up his magazine. He flipped through a few pages and stopped on an article about the newest Chaser for the Chudley Cannons. As he began reading how the newest and youngest player made the team, he thought over what Harry had said.

Hermione went back to her homework without answering as well, her lips pursed and jealousy apparent on her face.

Harry looked at his two friends, and hoping they'd come around at some point and be happy for him, returned his attention to his homework. However, as he continued writing his essay, he began to feel slightly nauseous. He hated his friends always being angry with him. He now couldn't even remember a time when his friends hadn't been angry with him for more than a week. Why did things have to be so difficult now? Sometimes he wished everything would go back to how it was last year…well, all except finding out Severus was his father. He did take it as a good sign, however, that his friends were still at the table with him and didn't run off like he expected.

~SH~

Wednesday evening Harry walked to the Gryffindor common room with a pounding headache. The first defense study group meeting had finished over two hours ago. It had been an informational meeting only and since discussion was on what the students would like to see from the group and how they would like them to be conducted, it lasted around an hour only. Once everyone left, Professor Lupin ushered Harry to his office to discuss how to proceed with the group.

Harry knew teaching would be hard work, but he never imagined how much time it was going to take. Remus informed him that due to the study group being an official Hogwarts club of sorts, he was required, by the headmaster, to prepare lesson plans for each meeting, and turn in a weekly report on the goings on of the group. This report could either be turned in directly to the headmaster or to Remus who would forward it to the headmaster before 5pm on Fridays. Just thinking about all the work required for the group would have been enough for some people to rescind their offer of teaching, but Harry was up for the challenge.

Stopping in front of the portrait guarding the Gryffindor tower, Harry shifted his book bag to his right shoulder and muttered the password. Walking through the small archway into the common room, Harry had a smile on his face. He couldn't wait to share this first meeting with Ron and Hermione. It took until lunch today for his two friends to cool down and accept that he was teaching the younger years by himself. He knew, though, they were still a bit angry and jealous. He didn't want to go rubbing it in, of course, but he did want to share this first meeting with them. And, he told himself, maybe if they found out how much work he needed to do for the group, they wouldn't be so angry with him…well, at least Ron.

Running a hand over his forehead a few times, Harry spotted Ron and Hermione seated close together on the sofa in front of the fireplace. He took a few steps toward them, but stopped as Hermione's laughter filled the common room. Seeing Hermione smile at Ron and rest a hand on his arm, Harry changed his mind about talking to them and turned around, feeling an unidentifiable emotion well up inside him.

As he stepped foot on the first stone step to head up to his dorm, he stopped. He didn't want to go up to his bed just yet. There were still a few hours until curfew. With a sigh, he turned around and headed out of the Gryffindor tower.

Ron and Hermione never noticed him enter or leave the common room.

Wandering along the almost deserted corridors, Harry began wishing that he dumped his book bag in the dorm room as it was becoming a nuisance. He shifted his bag from his right shoulder back to his left as he rounded a corner on the third floor. Because he was not looking at where he was going, he ran into something solid and fell to the stone floor with an oomph.

~SH~

Severus was returning to his office, after dropping off potion vials in the hospital wing, and was contemplating the weekend ahead. As he was coming up to a corner, someone ran into him. Looking down, he immediately recognized the person. "Harry?" Severus questioned after glancing up and down the corridor. "Are you okay?" He bent down and extended a hand to help Harry up off the ground.

Closing his eyes in embarrassment, Harry took a deep breath then looked up to his father. "I'm fine," he answered, taking the offered hand and standing up. "Sorry about that sir. I didn't mean to run into you." His face began turning slightly pink. He knew he should have been paying more attention to where he was walking. "I know I should be more careful."

"Indeed." Severus looked around the corridors once again before speaking. "Where are you headed?"

"Oh, erm…nowhere really. I was just wandering around." Harry reached down and picked up his book bag that had slipped off his shoulder when he fell to the ground.

"You had your first study group tonight did you not?" Severus queried as he began walking through the corridors in the direction of the dungeons.

"Yeah," Harry said quietly, following Severus.

Severus took a turn at the staff room and began walking down the secret corridor, Harry trailing behind. Severus slowed down until Harry was walking next to him. "Why are you not in your tower sharing everything that happened in your meeting with your friends? I'm sure they would be extremely interested."

Harry shrugged in response.

Knitting his brow in confusion at Harry's response, Severus opened the door to their quarters a few minutes later and gently pushed Harry inside.

It wasn't until Harry was standing in the living room that he realized where he was. His thoughts had been on what he'd been feeling the moment he walked into the Gryffindor common room. He looked at his father then sat down on the sofa. After setting his book bag on the floor next to him, he removed the glasses he didn't need to wear in the privacy of their quarters, and stared at the crackling fire.

Severus sat down on the sofa and observed Harry, as he had been unusually quiet on their trek down to the dungeons; especially for someone who was as excited as he was last week when he found out he was to be teaching. He watched as Harry knitted his eyebrows together and began rubbing his forehead. "You have a headache," he stated.

Harry dropped his hand to his lap and looked over to Severus. "Yeah, I guess. A result of this evening's meeting I suppose."

Severus nodded. "I'll be back in a moment." He left the living room and disappeared through the hall.

While Severus was gone, Harry toed off his trainers and curled his legs up under himself on the sofa, wanting to be more comfortable. He wondered how Severus always knew what he needed, even when he, himself, wasn't aware.

A minute later, Severus came back with a vial in hand. "A headache reliever."

With relief, Harry took the offered vial and downed its contents, hoping it would take effect immediately. He sighed in relief as it did. "Thanks."

Severus took the empty vial and set it on the coffee table. "Why did you not stop at the hospital wing when you were out wandering? Madam Pomfrey has plenty of vials of headache reliever available, especially considering I just finished replenished her stores."

Harry shrugged. "Didn't think about it, I guess. I've never gone looking for one before."

"That is not a good enough answer for me, Harry. In the future, if you are ever in need of any type of pain relief, I want you to seek me out if you will not go to the hospital wing. Understand?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded. Just then his stomach growled loudly and his face turned red in embarrassment.

Hearing the noise, Severus looked at Harry with slight concern. "Let me guess, you haven't eaten dinner either?"

Shaking his head, Harry replied. "No. I just finished speaking with Professor Lupin. We went up to his office after the study group ended. Dinner was over by the time we finished. I didn't think about eating either."

"I see. I know I didn't see you in the Great Hall for the meal, but I had hoped that Professor Lupin would have had dinner brought up to his office for you."

"We didn't realize how late it was," Harry began, defending the defense professor. "We were really busy talking."

"That is no excuse, Harry," Severus stated in anger. There _was_ no excuse for a professor to hold a student through a meal and not provide for that missed meal. He would definitely be talking to the blasted werewolf. He did not want to have a repeat of tonight after every study session. If Remus was to hold Harry over dinner, he should make sure he provides the boy with that missed meal. He stood up abruptly. "Go wash your hands, and then come to the kitchen. I will get you your dinner."

Somehow knowing his father's anger wasn't directed at him, Harry left the living room and headed towards the restroom to wash his hands. While there, he began to agree with Severus. Remus should have thought about dinner. It was just another reason, added to his growing list, to show that the defense professor didn't have his interests and welfare in mind. He then began to wonder why the professor even gave him the opportunity of teaching the study group. As his stomach growled loudly again, he decided he didn't want an answer. When he got to the kitchen a few minutes later, there was a bowl of soup and half a sandwich waiting for him.

After Harry sat down, Severus joined him at the table and poured himself a cup of tea from the pot on the table. "Do you want to talk about it?" Severus asked after taking a sip of tea and setting down his cup.

Harry raised his eyes, spoon hovering above the bowl full of soup. "Talk about what?" He ate what was on his spoon and set it back in the bowl.

"Whatever it is that is bothering you."

"Nothing is bothering me," Harry responded a little defensively. He really didn't want to talk about it. He couldn't talk about it. He wasn't too sure what _it_ was yet. Besides, if he knew what _it_ was, he wasn't too sure he'd want to share it.

Not sure if he truly believed Harry, but not wanting to push the boy into anything he was uncomfortable with, Severus picked back up his cup. "Just remember I'm here for you if you ever want to talk."

"Yeah," Harry nodded, then reached for his sandwich. "I know."

"So how did your first study group go?" Severus asked, wanting to change the subject.

Harry finished eating what was in his mouth then shared everything that had happened.

~SH~

With his homework and the defense study group materials in his book bag, Harry entered the Great Hall after he finished his last class of the day on Thursday. He walked half way down the Gryffindor table, and finding a large empty space, sat down. Wanting to get his required report out of the way first, he pulled out his quill and ink, some parchment, the notebook and folder Remus gave him earlier in the week for the study group, and got to work. He had almost gone to the library to work, but he knew Hermione and Ron were there. Even though Hermione was going to help Ron with some research for his Herbology paper, the two more than likely wouldn't leave him alone. He really needed peace and quiet for this report.

With a blank piece of parchment in front of him, Harry looked at the outline for the study group report he had pulled out of his folder. The first few items that were required to be in the report were pretty easy. The top of the page had to have the club/organization name and the meeting date. Next he was required to list each student who had attended, what year they were in, and which House they belonged to.

Pulling the roster out of the folder and picking up his quill, Harry wrote down the defense study group and yesterday's date. Then he decided he'd give each House a column and within that column, list each student by year and last name. That took a bit of time as all the names were scattered all over the parchment the students signed after arriving.

Satisfied, he moved on to the next item on the outline. _What topics were discussed/taught during this meeting? Explain in detail._ That item wasn't too bad, especially considering it was the very first meeting. He spent the next fifteen minutes or so working on that question. He knew he could have probably done it faster, but he wanted to take his time. This was something he wanted to be proud of, so he didn't want to rush.

He read the next item on the outline and paused. _What were the results of the discussion and/or lessons mentioned above?_ That question would definitely take a while to answer. He hadn't really written anything down. He would have to answer this question by memory.

Head bent over his parchment and writing fervently a while later, Harry was surprised when a plate of sliced apples and a glass of pumpkin juice appeared in front of him. He stopped his writing and looked up to the head table. Not seeing his father sitting up there, as he was the one who gave him a snack every once in a while, he narrowed his eyes in confusion and looked quickly around the room. Severus was near the entrance to the room walking towards the front between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables with a book in his hands. Harry gave him a very small smile once the man looked to him. When his father gave an almost indiscernible nod, he continued with his report, grateful for the snack.

He spent the next forty minutes continuing with the third question and soon realized he'd have to take notes now either during the study group, which wouldn't be practical, or right after the meetings ended so everything would be fresh in his mind. It was too difficult to answer that question otherwise.

Looking back at the outline, Harry was happy to realize he only had two more items to add to his report. _What topics will be discussed/taught during the next meeting?_ and _What problems occurred during the meeting and how were they resolved?_ He had to think on those two. Re-reading the first question he needed to finish he began wondering if he was required to go in to detail with his answer. If so, there would be no way this report could be completed and turned in to the headmaster two days following the study group. He definitely needed clarification from the defense professor on that item.

Knowing he couldn't complete the report without speaking to Remus, Harry decided it was time to work on his homework. He placed everything related to the defense group back in his book bag and began taking out one of his homework assignments.

As Harry began flipping through his Herbology text, the voice of the potions master echoed through the hall. "It is now time to gather up all your belongings. There are only five minutes left until the Great Hall needs to be cleared out."

Lifting his head and glancing around the room, Harry noticed he was one of five other students still working in the hall. Surprised that he had stayed there so long, he began stuffing everything back in his book bag. Knowing he had about thirty minutes until dinner was set to begin, he slung his book bag on his shoulder and headed out to Professor Lupin's office to get clarification on the one item he needed for his report.

~SH~

"We need to have a word Lupin," Severus said in a clipped tone during dinner.

Remus set his fork down and looked over to Severus. "Of course Severus. Would you like to meet in my office?"

Severus huffed. The last place he wanted to be was in the werewolf's office, but he needed to have a private word with him. "That would be best."

"After dinner then?"

Nodding, Severus poured himself a glass of water then continued eating, ignoring the man sitting next to him.

Thirty minutes later the two entered Remus' office. "What is it that you wished to discuss Severus?" Remus asked while pointing to the chairs in front of his desk.

Severus sat down and glared at Remus. "Why did you not provide Harry with dinner on Wednesday night?"

"I hadn't thought about it," Remus answered honestly, confusion beginning to line his face.

"You hadn't…thought about it," Severus repeated slowly. "I see. And why did you not think about it, might I ask?"

"We were busy discussing the study group. I hadn't realized how long we were talking." Remus ran a hand through his hair.

"Did you not think to check on the time? You had to know that dinner would be approaching."

"I already told you, Severus, we lost track of time." Remus couldn't understand what the big deal was.

Severus was livid with Remus' answers. He clenched his jaw in anger. "When you finished talking, why did you not provide the meal before Harry left?"

Giving a sigh, Remus answered. "I didn't think Harry was hungry. He didn't mention that he was."

"He wouldn't," Severus almost shouted as he stood up from the chair. He walked to the fireplace and turned around to face Remus. "You should know by now that Harry would not say anything of the sort. _I_ know that and I haven't known him or have been as close to him as long as you have."

"Severus, I don't know what you want me to say?" Remus began.

"It is not up to a child to ask for a meal," Severus responded exasperated. "I continually assign detentions in the afternoon before dinner. Do you honestly think I don't send my students to the Great Hall or provide them any missed meal?" He glared at Remus. "What kind of teacher…adult, for that matter…are you?"

Remus didn't know what to say in response. "If Harry was hungry after he left, he could have gone down to the kitchens like I would have done."

"Harry is not you! And the blame should not fall to a child when you are so obviously at fault," Severus roared. He strode to the door. "You do not want to be on the receiving end of my wrath if I hear of Harry missing any meals again Lupin," he spat. Without a backward glance, he threw open the door and left the office.

Remus watched the irate potions master leave his office. With a flick of his wand, he closed his office door, and then dropped his head. Severus was right. What kind of adult was he? Though, at the thought of the conversation he just had, he began to smile. Severus obviously cared deeply for Harry and he couldn't be happier for the boy.

~SH~

Harry was lying on his stomach on his bed in Gryffindor tower hours later working on his final homework assignment that was due the next day. His talk with the defense professor before dinner resulted in both good and bad news. The good news was for this first report, he did not need to go into detail on what topics were going to be discussed at the next defense meeting. The bad news was that for future reports, he _was_required to go into detail. This, Harry realized while returning to Gryffindor tower, would require a lot more time to prepare, as he needed to have a few weeks worth of plans ready ahead of time.

Loud pounding on the stairs outside the dorm room broke Harry's concentration from his homework. He looked up as someone entered the room.

"Hey mate," came Ron's voice from the doorway. "I thought you, me and Hermione decided to practice the spells we learned in Transfiguration today?"

Harry sat up. "We did." He began shoving his homework in his book bag. He was almost done and figured he could finish it up either before breakfast or during lunch tomorrow, as it wasn't due until the early afternoon. "I lost track of time I guess. Let me get my wand and I'll be down right behind you."

Ron turned around and went back down to the common room, Harry following a minute later.

The three spent the next few hours going over the spell they learned earlier in the day. They didn't call it quits until Ron, the last of the three, had finally mastered it.

* * *

_Happy New Year! As always, thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts. I'm sorry I took so long in updating. Between the new HP movie, being sick, and the 3 holidays these past two months, writing was farthest from my mind. But...here you go. I just hope this chapter is not as boring as I think it is._


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"I know we gave you a hard time earlier in the week, Harry," Ron began, while throwing a stone across the lake, causing it to skip twice before disappearing into the water with a plop. "But I'd really like to know how that defense study group you're teaching went on Wednesday night." He looked to Hermione. She was sitting against the trunk of a tree reading a novel, her hair blowing gently in the breeze. "We both would." He nodded, indicating he was talking about Hermione as well.

Genuinely surprised, yet extremely happy, Harry walked over to the tree Hermione was sitting against and sat down next to her. "Okay." Hermione closed her book and set it in her lap and Ron walked over to the tree. "Well….erm…" he didn't really know where to start. "Well, this first session was great. Everyone is taking me and the group seriously. I wasn't so sure when I first walked into the room and began talking."

Harry immediately remembered how over half of the students ignored him and kept on talking to their friends. It wasn't until he questioned them on what they wanted to get out of the study group that they truly paid attention. Remus could have stepped in right away, but Harry had told his professor that he wanted to start teaching from the very first lesson. Without any help…except if it was truly needed.

"Since this was our first meeting," Harry continued, "we just talked about what everyone wanted to get out of the group and how they wanted the meetings to be taught. The younger ones were very eager at the possibility of learning spells and charms the older years already know."

"That sounds great Harry," Hermione said. "Though I don't know why you didn't think you or the group would be taken seriously."

"I'm just a student," Harry said matter-of-factly, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

"Yeah, but you're _the_ Harry Potter," Ron added. He lowered himself to the grass so he was sitting facing Harry and Hermione. "Why wouldn't you be taken seriously?"

Harry turned his attention to Ron, trying to not let his words get to him like they always did. "Just because I'm Harry Potter doesn't mean students will take me seriously." He paused, and took a few breaths, hoping his brewing anger would leave his body with his the air in his lungs. "If anything," he began when he was calm again, "it would have the opposite effect. Especially after all the rubbish that's always being printed about me in the _Daily Prophet._ Both of you have read everything ever printed about me. If you were not my friends and didn't know me, would you take me seriously?"

"Yeah, guess you're right," Ron said resignedly. "Now that I think about it, I remember how Seamus treated you the start of fourth year." He also remembered how he had treated Harry also, but he wasn't going to voice that.

"What else do you have to share?" Hermione asked, knowing there had to be more.

"Teaching this group is going to be a lot of work. Don't get me wrong," he rushed out seeing Ron beginning to open his mouth. "It will be a lot of work before and after each meeting, but I know I'm going to enjoy teaching."

"What do you mean by a lot of work?" Hermione questioned, her interest piqued.

"Well, I'm required by the headmaster to write a report after every study session and turn it in to him before the end of the day on Fridays. Here, let me show you." Harry stood up and walked over to his book bag that he earlier had tossed on the ground closer to the lake. The three had intended to do a little homework in the nice March weather, but it was already late Saturday afternoon and they hadn't cracked open a book yet. He crouched down, rummaged through his bag and finally pulled out his defense group binder. With binder in hand, he walked back to the tree.

After sitting back down, Harry flipped through the binder until he found what he was looking for. "This is what I'm required to complete." He handed the piece of parchment containing the report outline to Ron.

Ron took the parchment and held it between two fingers like it was a dirty rag, his face scrunched up in disgust. The thought of having to do work not required for classes was maddening. He slowly looked over the outline.

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

_Official Organizations / Clubs_

_Following the conclusion of every meeting of an official organization / club, a report is to be completed. Each report is to include the following:_

_Name of Organization / Club_

_Date of Meeting_

_List of all participants, including professors and students. Students must be listed by House and Year._

_What topics were discussed / taught during this meeting? Explain in detail._

_What were the results of the discussion and / or lessons mentioned above?_

_What topics will be discussed / taught during the next meeting?_

_What problems occurred during the meeting and how were they resolved? _

_Please forward completed report to the Headmaster by 5pm, two days after organization / club meeting._

After reading over the report outline, Ron's jaw dropped and he handed the parchment over to Hermione. "Blimey, Harry! That is a lot of work. And you don't mind?"

"Not at all." He took the parchment from Hermione who had just finished reading it herself. "I think that once I get going with the study group, the report won't take as much time to complete as the first few."

"I wouldn't count on it," Hermione said, picking her book back up. "I think you'll be surprised." Opening her book, she removed her bookmark, leaned back against the tree and continued reading.

Harry stuffed the outline back in the binder and got up to grab his book bag. "Why don't we work on our homework Ron? We've been out here for hours and haven't done anything."

"Yeah, I guess your right." Ron sluggishly got up and retrieved his book bag as well.

The two pulled out their transfiguration texts. Harry lay down on the grass on his stomach and opened the text to the assigned chapter and began reading. Ron pulled out a magazine and text, opened the magazine to the article he'd been reading last night, hid it inside his open text and sat against the tree.

~SH~

Severus glared at the headmaster as they rounded a large tree at the far side of the castle. "I still do not see why we could not discuss whatever it is you wanted to discuss in the castle, Albus."

Albus stopped walking and turned toward Severus, a glint in his eye. "It is such a nice day," he responded while sweeping a hand through the air and looking towards two birds fluttering in the sky above them. "You never seem to get out of the castle. I thought this would be a good time."

"Hmmph," Severus replied, holding his tongue. He was still angry with the man for his comments earlier in the month, and felt it wouldn't help matters if he blew up at him for something small like this. He might as well humor the old man.

As the headmaster started to wander towards the Forbidden Forest, Severus reluctantly joined him. After reaching the forest, Albus turned and began walking along the edge. He placed his hands behind his back and turned his head to Severus. "There has been a change in plans for the Easter holiday, Severus. I know you had mentioned that you will be returning to your home for the week, but I must ask you to change your plans."

Severus abruptly stopped walking. "What happened to Pomona staying at the castle for the week?"

"Well, she has…that is…she had a request from a distant family member to join her for the week in France."

"And you couldn't get Minerva to take her place?"

"Minerva already has plans," Albus stated matter-of-factly.

"As do I," Severus stated darkly. "Why not deny Pomona?" He would have felt bad asking the question under normal circumstances, but he had a hunch this was the old man's way of meddling in his and Harry's lives.

"She couldn't pass up the opportunity."

"And I, a professor who has never asked for this holiday week off, is denied?"

Albus remained quiet and began walking again.

"I know your intentions old man," Severus began, his voice like ice. "I will stay at the castle for the week, but I will not have you interfere with my life or with Harry's." With another cold glare toward the headmaster, Severus spun away and stalked back toward the castle, his robes billowing behind him.

Nearing the lake, he heard yelling. As the voices grew in volume, Severus increased his pace. The rage he felt upon leaving the headmaster minutes ago escalated a few moments later when he came across Draco and Harry, standing a few feet away from each other with wands raised.

Though livid with the situation, Severus hid the satisfaction he felt the moment Ron noticed his presence; the only one of the four. He and Hermione were standing by a tree quite a bit away from the two boys. "Malfoy. Potter. Lower your wands."

Draco slowly lowered his wand at the request, with a smug look on his face. He had nothing to fear. He knew the look on the professor's face was meant for Harry and not for him. He eagerly awaited the wrath his head of house would unleash at the Gryffindor.

Panting and slightly pale, Harry whipped his head around to the potions master, a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He gulped and lowered his wand as well, trying his hardest to stop his wand arm from shaking. The look on the professor's face did not bode well, though he knew he was somewhat safe for the moment.

Stepping up to the two, Severus glared at each one in turn then faced Draco. "You know better Mr. Malfoy. Five points from Slytherin." He lightly grabbed Draco's shoulder and turned him toward the castle. "Common room. Now."

Glancing back to Harry, Draco smirked then casually walked toward the castle, presumably to the Slytherin common.

Severus then turned his attention to Harry and looked at him with disappointment. "Potter. Fi…"

"Sir, I didn't do anything," Harry interrupted. "Malfoy started it."

Not appreciating the interruption, Severus stepped a little closer to Harry. "Do not. Interrupt. Potter," he hissed, his disappointment disappearing only to be replaced with extreme irritation.

Harry gulped again and stepped back. The man was definitely angry with him.

"But sir," Ron cut in, taking a few steps toward his friend. "It wasn't Harry's fault. He was just working on his homework when…"

Severus raised his head and glared at Ron. "Silence!" he bellowed. "Five points from Gryffindor, Mr. Weasley, for butting in on a conversation you are not a part of."

Cowering slightly, Ron stepped back next to Hermione while giving a small shrug to Harry.

Satisfied Ron wouldn't interrupt again, Severus turned his attention back to Harry. "Potter, detention. My office in thirty minutes." He whirled around and began walking towards the castle. "And fifteen points from Gryffindor for dueling on school grounds," he stated loudly while continuing toward the castle.

Harry swallowed as he watched the man walk away. He then turned toward Hermione and Ron who were walking up to him. "Why didn't you two try and warn me?"

"Sorry mate," Ron replied. "By the time I saw him, it was too late."

Hermione looked at Harry disapprovingly. "Harry, you knew fighting with Draco could land you in trouble."

Harry turned to Hermione. "So you're saying that this is all _my_ fault?"

"No. I know it was Malfoy's. But Harry, you really need to…"

"Some other time, Hermione," Harry interrupted, not wanting or needing a lecture from one of his friends right now. He was too caught up in the look of disappointment that was on Severus' face. Distractedly, he walked over to his book bag, grabbed the book he had been reading when Draco dropped by to say 'hi', and stuffed it inside his bag. Swinging it on his shoulder, he headed to the castle, dreading what the rest of the afternoon would entail. It couldn't be any worse. He stepped two feet into the castle when he heard his name being called.

"Harry," the headmaster called out upon seeing Harry enter the castle. "Such a beautiful day out isn't it? I hope you plan to spend more time outside."

Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes, headmaster. It is nice out."

Albus smiled. "I need to have a word, Harry. Let's go on up to my office."

"Oh, erm…well…" He couldn't deny the headmaster, but he also knew he could not be late to his detention. "How long will this take sir?"

"Not too long. Why do you ask?"

"I just have to meet someone in twenty minutes." Harry did not want to the headmaster to know about his detention.

"I see," Albus said with twinkling eyes. "How about we just go to one of the empty classrooms?"

Nodding, Harry followed the man into the unused classroom across from the Great Hall.

~SH~

In utter shock, Harry sat in one of the chairs in the empty classroom five minutes after the headmaster left. He had to go back to the Dursley's for the one week Easter holiday. The first time in six years, he had to go back to that house before summer holiday. After immediately asking the headmaster why, the only response he received was that he had to go back to strengthen the wards.

It hadn't been outright discussed, but he thought he'd be living with Severus from now on and would never have to go back to that house again. Why did he need to stay for the week? Pondering that question over in his mind, Harry realized he should be heading down to the dungeon for his uncalled for detention. He quickly jumped up from the chair and began the trek down to the dungeon.

~SH~

Severus had just finished lecturing Draco about dueling on school grounds and had gotten an earful from the spoiled boy in return, causing his anger to rise. And as much as the spoiled Malfoy scion protested and argued, Severus still assigned him a detention. He hated giving his Slytherins detention, but knew it was necessary at times.

With a pounding headache, he angrily entered his office. Not only was he furious at finding two of his students with wands pointed at each other not more than a half hour ago, but he was also furious with the headmaster for his involvement in his holiday plans. Roughly, he took off his robe and hung it on the hook by the door.

Having some time before his other trouble-making student was due in his office, Severus began to clean off and rearrange everything on his desk. A number of times during his rearranging, his mind wandered to the bottle of fire whiskey he had in the cabinet in his quarters. As much as he wanted the soothing, calming effects of alcohol right now, he ignored the pull. He could not drink right now. Not with Harry due to his office in mere minutes.

A knock sounded on his office door a few minutes later. He looked to the bunch of quills tightly gripped in his hand as a slight feeling of frustration stole over him. "Enter," he barked out, while dropping the quills in the top drawer of his desk and pushing it closed.

"Sir," Harry said hesitantly, while closing the door behind him. Instead of walking into the room, he stood right in front of the door. In the time it took for him to slowly walk from the unused classroom to the potions master's office, Harry had a lot of time to think. He tried to push away his feelings on the upcoming holiday, as he could think on it later, and to think only about the incident on the lake.

Harry knew Severus had been exceedingly angry with him; it was obvious to everyone there, and he didn't like angering him. But what really bothered him was the extremely disappointed look he had been given. Harry looked directly at Severus, ignoring the unidentifiable floating objects and various other ingredients contained in the glass jars that usually made his stomach squirm. "Let me explain."

Anger beginning to claw its way out, Severus walked to Harry and gripped his shoulder, intent on leading him to a chair by his desk.

"Ow!" Harry yelped in surprise, and shrugged out of the man's grip.

At Harry's exclamation, Severus immediately grabbed Harry's jumper at the neck to pull it down, his anger quickly being replaced with concern. "What is the mat…" He stopped abruptly when Harry's shoulder was exposed. The pale skin was mottled with bruises and cuts.

Harry closed his eyes and swore to himself. He hadn't intended for his father to find out he was hurt. Not wanting to see the anger that was more than likely on Severus' face, Harry looked at the buttons on the man's shirt instead.

Lowering Harry's jumper on the other shoulder, Severus spotted more injuries; the same as the other shoulder. "Am I correct in assuming this is a result of your dueling with Mr. Malfoy?"

"I didn't duel!" Harry exclaimed. If only he was given the chance to explain. "I was…"

"Your injuries say otherwise." Severus pulled out his wand. "Remove your jumper."

Eyeing the wand in his father's hand, Harry took off his jumper, trying not to wince as the skin around the cuts on his shoulders pulled tight.

Trying to keep his anger in check at seeing the heavily bruised and cut body in front of him, Severus swept his wand up and down Harry's torso. Immediately the bruises faded and the cuts healed. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

Harry shook his head. "No." While Severus replaced his wand, Harry looked at his shoulders and upper arms. The skin looked absolutely perfect. Feeling slightly upset, Harry looked up to his father. The man was at the side of his office rummaging around. Looking at his shoulders again, Harry pressed his lips together and put his jumper back on; trying to ignore what he was feeling inside.

He wasn't quite sure why he was feeling so upset at his father's actions, but he did. He hadn't wanted Severus to know that he'd been hurt, but since he ended up finding out, Harry hoped that he would have been healed in the same manner as he had been on previous occasions. Not by an uncaring wand. Did he make his father that angry with him? His mind immediately went back to the conversation he had with the headmaster minutes earlier.

After putting his wand away, Severus walked over to a counter at the side of his office. He had two large containers of vials that needed to be emptied and cleaned. He had intended on saving the task for one of his first years who would no doubt earn detention in the coming week, but changed his mind while waiting for Harry. "You will be serving your detention in the potions classroom." He stacked one container on top of the other and with them in hand, turned around to face Harry. "Your task will be to empty and clean each vial in these containers. I want them spotless. When you have completed that, you will restock the supply cabinet with the empty, clean vials."

"Yes sir," Harry responded quietly.

"Classroom. Now!" Severus hissed, walking past Harry and over to the classroom.

Harry followed, not saying a word.

Upon entering the classroom, Severus walked directly to the sink at the back of the room. None too gently, he set the two containers down; the glass vials tinkling against each other. "Begin." Without a glance at Harry, Severus walked to his desk at the front of the classroom and sat down. Giving a huff, as he had other things he wanted to do, he rolled up his sleeves, pulled out his seventh year's homework and began grading.

Walking over to the desk closest to him, Harry dropped his book bag on top and removed his glasses. He had begun to hate wearing them when they weren't needed. He looked from the vials, to his father, and back to the vials. He bit his bottom lip as he pulled out a pair of gloves, cleanser, some cloths and a small bottle brush from under the sink. After the water turned warm, Harry poured some cleanser in one side of the sink and while it was filling up, began emptying the vials in the other side.

~SH~

"Will you please let me explain?" Harry asked thirty minutes in to his detention. He was still elbow deep in suds cleaning out the vials, but the silence in the room, not to mention his father's anger, was getting to him. Especially since he hadn't been able to tell his side of the story.

"I do not want to hear your excuses, Potter," Severus spat menacingly, head bent over a piece of parchment.

Harry quickly turned around, soap dripping from his glove covered hands on to the floor. He felt like a bludger just flew into his stomach. He could hardly breathe. "Potter?" he said quietly, eyes widening. It had been months since the professor called him Potter with that tone of voice in private.

"Excuse me?" Severus asked still writing fervently on the parchment in front of him.

Harry kept quiet, still in slight shock.

Severus raised his head and looked at Harry in extreme irritation when no response came.

Seeing the look he was given, Harry swallowed and finally answered. "You…you called me Potter."

"So? That is your name, is it not?"

Harry looked down and noticed all the soap suds on the ground. "Well, its just…you haven't called me Potter in private since…since…"

"Spit it out, boy," he snarled, giving Harry a menacing look. "I do not have all day!"

The look in the professor's eyes took Harry's breath away. "Never mind sir," he whispered. He quickly turned around then let his head and shoulders drop as he felt a painful stab in his chest. The professor hadn't spoken to him or looked at him like that in many months; at least since the Christmas holiday, before things changed. It felt like the first five years of his Hogwarts schooling all over again.

He hadn't had a true detention with the man in months either. His detentions lately, if he received them at all, were spent working on homework or rebrewing potions. Thoughts of the conversation he just had with Dumbledore came rushing to the forefront of his mind. Obviously he had to continue living with the Dursleys. He misread everything the professor had said and done these past four months. He began to feel numb.

~SH~

It wasn't until Harry turned around to continue cleaning the vials that Severus realized what he had done and what he had said. He wasn't too sure why he did it, but he just did. It might have had to do with the anger and frustration he'd been feeling since speaking with Albus and Draco, but he was not going to put the entire blame on that. Placing both elbows on his desk, he placed his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths. Severus knew he hurt Harry just moments ago. The look in the boy's eyes told him everything. He needed to fix this.

After running his hands over his face, Severus stood up and began walking towards the back of the classroom. As he got a few feet away from Harry, he spotted the soapy water on the floor. He took out his wand and vanished the mess.

~SH~

Plunging his gloved hands into the soapy water, Harry cleaned out one more vial before he remembered the puddle of water on the floor. Not wanting to make the professor any angrier than he already was, Harry pulled his hands out of the water, took off the gloves, and grabbed a cloth that was setting next to the pile of drying vials. As he bent down to wipe up the water, a pair of black boots stepped into his line of sight. Harry carefully raised his eyes, and after spotting the potions master looking at him, quickly stood up, put his gloves back on and turned to finish cleaning the vials. "Sorry sir. I was going to clean up the water."

As Harry was about to grab another vial out of the sink, Severus stepped closer, took both of the boy's hands out of the water and pulled off his gloves.

Startled, Harry just looked at the man, not saying a word. He wasn't too sure what the professor was doing, but he thought it best to keep quiet.

Severus placed the gloves on the counter then retrieved Harry's book bag and glasses and handed them both to him. "Our quarters."

Beginning to feel nauseous, Harry nodded, took the offered items and followed Severus out of the potions classroom and into their quarters.

Upon entering, Severus went directly to the kitchen to put on water for tea. While gathering everything he'd need, he tried to figure out what exactly he needed to say to Harry and how. He realized he was in an extremely delicate situation.

Harry dropped his book bag on the ground, resting it on his leg, and stood to the side of the sofa after entering the living room. He was very uncomfortable with what was going on. With eyes focused on the floor as he listened to the man puttering around in the kitchen, he tried to will away the queasiness that began moments ago.

A few minutes later Severus entered the living room carrying a tray with tea. He immediately noticed Harry standing somewhat stiffly next to the sofa. "You _can_ sit down."

Snapping his head up, Harry looked to Severus. Not wanting to annoy the man, he took a few steps and slowly sat down on the edge of the sofa, extremely tense.

Severus set the tray on the coffee table, picked up one of the cups, and handed it to Harry. "Here." He sat down on the other side of the sofa.

Harry took the offered cup, but didn't take a drink. He held it in his hands on his lap, drumming two fingers against the warm porcelain.

After taking a few sips of his tea and watching Harry just sit there, Severus placed his cup on the table. "What happened this afternoon by the lake?"

At the question, Harry fingers stopped. He thought for a few seconds before answering. "I was dueling with Malfoy."

"Harry."

Harry turned his head to look at the professor. "Don't you mean Potter?" Harry spat before he could help himself. At realizing the hurt that sounded in his voice, he quickly turned his head and looked to the cup in his hands.

Severus gave a deep, clearly audible sigh. He'd obviously hurt the boy more than he thought. "Harry."

Ignoring Severus, Harry closed his eyes, brought his cup to his lips and took a sip of tea.

Watching Harry, Severus realized he was beginning to shut down. The boy was clearly upset and Severus truly hated seeing him like this. "Harry, please look at me."

Reluctantly, Harry looked to Severus. He was slightly taken aback by the almost heartbroken look in the man's eyes and swallowed thickly.

"I am truly sorry, Harry. I have had an exceedingly trying day. I am sorry I took my frustrations out on you. You did not deserve my raised voice or my ire. I will not let it happen again."

Harry looked back to his cup again. Hearing the professor apologize began to soothe his queasy stomach, but not quite.

"I obviously hurt you by calling you Potter and with the way I said it." Severus watched as Harry gave a slight nod. When he didn't say anything after a few moments, Severus studied him. "You deserve my disappointment Harry."

At those words, Harry dropped his head.

Severus continued. "How can I not be disappointed by your lack of judgment out at the lake? You should know better."

Harry felt disgusted with himself. He hated, absolutely hated, disappointing Severus. But the words were true. He did deserve the man's disappointment, and he _did_ know better. However, none of that seemed to matter to the deep hurt he was feeling. A hurt he still didn't quite understand. He set his cup on the table and sat back against the sofa. A few seconds later, he brought one knee up, wrapped his arms around his leg and rested his chin on his knee.

The position Harry took on the sofa spoke volumes to Severus, as he'd seen the boy sit that way on numerous occasions in certain situations. "There is more," he stated quietly, almost to himself. "Is it because of your detention?" Harry shook his head in the negative. "Is it because I wouldn't let you tell me what happened at the lake?" At Harry's whispered no, Severus racked his brain, but couldn't find anything else that would make Harry this upset. "Would you please tell me what else there is?"

Harry again shook his head in answer, as he felt Severus should know what else there was.

Sighed loudly, Severus closed his eyes briefly to give him patience. Sometimes the boy's stubbornness got to him. This was one of those times.

At the sound of Severus' sigh, Harry glanced over to him. He was disappointing the man again. "It's stupid," he finally answered quietly.

Severus was relieved at hearing Harry's voice. But his response bothered him slightly. "If it is upsetting you, it is not stupid. What is it?" he encouraged.

Harry picked up his cup from the table and took a sip. "You healed me with your wand," he replied in embarrassment, from behind his cup of tea.

"I healed you with my wand?" Severus questioned, knitting his brows in confusion. "I am afraid I do not understand."

"It's just, ever since I fell in the store room…you…well…you…" Harry fell silent, not able to voice the childish reason.

Severus' thoughts immediately went to that terrifying day in the store room and the subsequent days in his quarters caring for Harry. He understood immediately. "Ahh! I see."

Harry's face began to turn red. "I told you it was stupid."

"As I said before, it is not stupid if it is upsetting you." Severus got up and took a seat on the coffee table so he could be face to face with Harry. "Again, I'm sorry for my actions today. I never meant any of them to hurt you."

Hearing his father apologize once again, Harry dropped his head. Having someone apologize to him was still a new concept.

Severus reached a hand out to Harry's chin and gently lifted his head until they had eye contact. "I would like to start over." He dropped his hand from Harry's chin. "Would you please tell me what happened at the lake today, Harry?"

Harry stared hard at Severus before answering. "I was lying on the grass working on my homework with Hermione and Ron. Then Malfoy turned up. He stepped all over our texts and homework. I told him to leave us alone and go away but he didn't. When he wouldn't leave, I stood up to talk to him face to face. In those few seconds, he took my homework balled it up and threw it into the lake."

The rage Harry saw in his father eyes stopped him momentarily. He knew, however, that it was not directed towards him this time. "Luckily I had just started that assignment. I was still mad, of course, and so I began yelling at him. Next thing I know I'm on the ground in pain. I looked up and Malfoy had his wand pointed at me with a smirk on his face. I tried to stand up and that's when he threw another curse at me." He paused, looked to his shoulder, and then looked back to Severus. "You saw the results of that one."

"That was why you were so pale and shaking," Severus stated. He initially thought it was because Harry thought he was caught.

"Yeah. After that curse, while Malfoy was gloating, I was able to stand up. I started yelling again, telling him to leave us alone, when he raised his wand one more time. Not wanting to be cursed again, I raised my wand to conjure a shield to protect myself." Harry looked at Severus intently. "That when you showed up. That's why I had my wand raised. I didn't say a single spell. Honest."

Severus stared at Harry, completely speechless. He knew he should not have believed Draco's version of events when he spoke with him over an hour ago. The brat always embellished every tale he told. Harry, on the other hand, he could trust. The boy had never told him a lie; at least not since their new relationship began.

After fully comprehending everything that Harry said, Severus immediately stood up while taking out his wand. "Please stand Harry."

Harry looked at Severus in confusion, but did as he was told. "What are you…"

"I need to be sure you do not have any other injuries from that first curse Mr. Malfoy performed on you. Do you happen to remember what it was?"

"No, sir," Harry responded shaking his head.

"Very well. This will be quick. Please stand still." After a few swishes of his wand up and down Harry's entire body, Severus was satisfied. "You do not have any other injuries," he said relieved. He placed a hand on Harry's shoulder and directed him to sit on the sofa. "You can sit back down." Severus again sat on the coffee table.

Harry looked at his father questioningly. It still looked like the man had something important to say.

"I know you did not deserve the detention I had given you, and which you partially served. I will award Gryffindor ten points for my mistake. You will also be awarded fifteen points for my mistake in deducting points from you and Mr. Weasley down at the lake."

"But I…"

Severus looked at Harry meaningfully. "I will also award Gryffindor another ten points for you doing the right thing in a bad situation."

Harry couldn't believe it. The man had only taken a total of twenty points from him and Ron earlier in the day. Why was he awarding thirty-five points? "I don't…"

"Harry," Severus interrupted, "not many would act like you did down at the lake. My guess is that you said some things to Mr. Malfoy that were not appropriate," he smirked when Harry nodded, "but you did not react with violence. You tried to reason, or so I'm assuming. And when the time came where you knew you'd be hurt, you were going to defend yourself…without violence." He put a hand on Harry's knee. "I am exceedingly proud of you."

"Thank you," Harry said quietly with a small smile, still unused to praise.

"You are most welcome." He removed his hand. "In the future, if you ever come across the same type of situation with Mr. Malfoy, I would like you to just walk away. Actually, outside of class, just stay away from him as much as you can."

"Okay. I'll try."

"That is all I ask Harry." Severus then stood up and walked to the door. "Go on. Get out of here. Enjoy the rest of your evening."

With a smile, Harry grabbed his book bag, slung it on his shoulder and walked to the door. About to cross the threshold, he stopped and turned to Severus. "Thanks, sir." As he was still feeling confused about the headmaster's declaration earlier and of Severus' actions, he shied away from calling the man what he really wanted to. Dad.

Severus gave Harry a small smile and squeezed his shoulder in reply. Then he gave a gentle push to Harry back. "Get out of here." Severus stood at the open door and watched his son walk away. Once Harry was out of sight, he closed the door in extreme guilt.

After putting Harry's cup of tea in the kitchen, he sat down and began to finish his. A minute later, he heavily set his cup on the table and stood up. He had an important task he needed to complete. Leaving his quarters, he went straight to the Slytherin common room to speak with Draco. As evidence for the disciplinary actions he would be taking, Draco's wand would need to be confiscated and a test performed to see which spells were cast most recently. He would also need to test Harry's wand to cover all his bases. A letter, requesting his presence in their quarters later in the evening, would be delivered to him during dinner tonight.

* * *

_Thanks for all the reviews and alerts! Sorry if this chapter seemed to stop abruptly. It was the only logical place for me to end it._

_Hope everyone is still enjoying my fic._


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

Rubbing his forehead in guilt and anger, Severus sat at his desk in his quarters. He had just returned from meeting with the headmaster, an activity he had dreaded, but under the circumstances had to be done, and with Draco Malfoy.

Earlier that afternoon, after Harry's account on what happened out at the lake, Severus stormed over to the Slytherin common room and half-dragged Draco to his office. After the boy protested vehemently for five minutes against Severus' orders, he finally handed over his wand to be tested. Severus dismissed Draco, sans wand, with a promise he'd be hearing from him before curfew.

Harry had come to their quarters a few hours later after having received a letter at dinner. Severus quickly performed the test on Harry's wand so the boy could enjoy his final free hours before curfew. The results of Harry's test were then copied to the standard Hogwarts disciplinary action form. Relieved, though not surprised, Harry's results showed he was in the process of casting Protego; the only spell he had cast since the afternoon before, during which he was in class.

Severus had then performed the test on Draco's wand. The test could have been completed when he first confiscated the wand, but he wanted to have a level head during dinner and when meeting with Harry; no doubt the results would make him anything but. True to his suspicions, he was livid after seeing Malfoy's wand results in black and white on the disciplinary action form. The second curse Malfoy cast was on the borderline of being dark. As much as Severus detested the thought of having to speak with Albus, it had been absolutely necessary.

To say Albus was angry was an understatement. Severus hadn't seen the man that furious in many years. He ordered immediate disciplinary action to be taken against Draco. The sixth year Slytherin was required to relinquish his wand to the headmaster for two months, beginning that evening. Draco would only have access to it during his classes. The wand would be automatically transferred from professor to professor, being locked in one of their desk drawers, before the start of every class. He was also required to serve two weeks worth of detentions with Filtch and two weeks worth of detentions with Hagrid. In addition to the five points Severus took at the lake, another one hundred were being deducted. And finally, a letter was being drafted to send to Draco's parents the next morning.

As head of Slytherin, Severus was required to keep a copy of the disciplinary action report in his files, as was Minerva McGonagall. Currently, the report was gripped tightly between two of Severus' fingers as he sat at the desk. His eyes kept wandering over the description of the event that was written.

Upon walking up to the two boys that afternoon, he had taken his usual stance; the one before he found out Harry was his son, and immediately assumed it was Harry in the wrong. What made him think and act like that? And why didn't he give Harry a chance to give his side of the story? How was he supposed to continue building a trusting relationship with his son if he wouldn't let the boy communicate or blamed him for everything?

Getting angrier with his actions by the second, Severus slammed a fist onto the top of his desk. "Damn." The action caused something inside the desk to rattle. Eyes narrowing, he first opened the top drawer, but found nothing that would explain the rattling. He moved on to the top side drawer. His eyes immediately landed on the red heart-shaped glass bottle holding his memories. It was lying on its side and had a few other empty glass vials lying next to it. Not wanting the empty vials to break the bottle of memories, he removed them to put in his store room at a later time. Eyes still on the bottle, he picked it up and brought it to his face. He looked at it fondly, set it more securely in the drawer, and closed it carefully. The memories were still ready and waiting for the time when Harry would want to view them.

Even though it seemed Harry finally accepted them as father and son, he still had this niggling suspicion that it wasn't the case, that there was some small doubt in the back of Harry's mind. He hoped that after seeing the memories, Harry's lingering doubt would disappear once and for all.

Severus' eyes landed on the form he set down when looking for the rattling glass. Wanting the offending piece of parchment out of his sight, Severus stood up, walked a few steps to his small file cabinet, pulled open the relevant drawer, and dropped the action form into Draco's file. Sighing, he sat back at his desk.

His eyes immediately landed on a tall stack of parchment in the corner. Third year essays he still needed to grade. Severus dreaded the task, but wanted to get the grading out of the way so he could have a relaxing Sunday tomorrow. Besides, he always enjoyed grading when he was in a foul mood.

Grumbling, he yanked a drawer open to get out his quill and red ink. He pulled the first essay from the stack in front of him and rolled up with shirt sleeves. Two paragraphs in to the essay, he rolled his eyes. Dunderhead was beginning to seem like too nice a name for his students.

As he continued reading through the first essay, he began to wonder if his treatment of Harry earlier in the afternoon had anything to do with his memories residing in the bottle.

~SH~

Pounding footsteps and heavy breathing sounded as Harry ran through the empty castle corridors down toward the dungeons Monday morning. Having stayed up well past midnight trying to finish his homework the night before, he woke up late, missed breakfast and was now almost to the point of being late for double potions. He ran full speed down the final cold, dark corridor and breathed a small sigh of relief at seeing the classroom door still open. The potions master had yet to arrive. He rushed into the classroom breathing heavily.

"Glad I made it," Harry said as he sank down in his chair beside Ron. He glanced at Hermione and saw her shaking her head in disapproval.

"What took you so long?" Ron asked, not realizing he never saw his friend at breakfast since he was too caught up with Hermione. "We left the Great Hall ten minutes before class." He then looked at Harry with a questioning expression. "Where are your glasses?"

Harry paled at the last question. "I got up late." He plunked his book bag on to their shared table and quickly put on the glasses that he kept in his robe pocket.

"How were you able to see where you were going without your glasses?" Ron began thinking that maybe that was why Harry was so late. He knew his friend was practically blind without his glasses.

"Um…I…" Luckily Harry was saved from having to respond.

Severus entered the classroom. He shut the door loudly behind him, causing some of the students to jump, and began speaking as he swept up to the front of the classroom with robes billowing behind him. Stopping in front of his desk, he turned around and crossed his arms over his chest. "I assume all of you did your homework and completed the assigned reading." His eyes swept the classroom and landed on Harry. He looked at the boy intently for a few seconds, having been slightly worried as he hadn't seen him at breakfast.

Seeing that Harry seemed fine, he then looked over the rest of the class and began pacing. "You have ninety minutes to prepare the Elixir to Induce Euphoria. I will then stop your brewing and you will be given thirty minutes to complete the essay questions I will have written on the board with regard to the potion. If I see anything wrong with your potion between steps three and four, and ten and twelve, I will know you did not complete your assigned reading. Ten additional points will be deducted from the points I will award your completed potion." Several gasps could be heard from the students, mostly the Gryffindors. "Turn to page 217 and begin."

Harry sighed and looked over to Ron. "Guess I'll be ten points less than my normal grade." He hadn't had a chance to thoroughly read the assigned chapter. Having spent a majority of his time on preparing for the defense study group and working on the report Professor McGonagall assigned for Transfiguration, he was only able to skim through the assigned Potions chapter.

"You mean he'll finally award negative points?" Ron laughed.

Joining in Ron's laughter, Harry opened his bag to pull out his potions book and just stared inside, mouth opening wide in horror. Frantically, he began pulling everything out of his bag. Pretty soon the desk top in front of him held two notebooks, a package of parchment, two broken quills, one good quill, an empty and a full ink pot, his Charms text, and four empty chocolate frog wrappers. "Oh no," he groaned, and let his head fall onto his empty book bag.

"What is it?" Ron asked, sneaking a glance at Harry as he flipped through his potions book to the assigned page.

"I don't have my potions book." He lifted his head up and miserably looked at Ron. "I think I left it on my bed. What am I going to do? Snape will be furious and I don't need to lose any more points." Ron did not need to know that Severus had awarded him points on Saturday.

"We can share," Ron stated placing his opened text between him and Harry.

"No, that won't work." He swallowed hard and looked up to professor Snape seated at the front of the room. He didn't want to know what the man would do once he found out he didn't have his book, but he didn't have any other options. He needed the text in order to brew his potion. "I'll go see if he has any spare books."

"Why don't you take mine?" Ron asked, remembering the scene out at the lake, and not wanting any more points then necessary to be deducted from Gryffindor. "I'll ask for a book. You don't need to aggravate Snape more than you already seem to do." Beginning to push his chair back, he gulped at the prospect of the insults that were going to drip from the potion master's mouth when he asked for a book.

Harry shook his head. "Thanks Ron, but I forgot my book so I should suffer the consequences."

"If you're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Harry stood up from the table while Ron gave a huge sigh of relief, and walked up to Severus' desk. "Excuse me sir."

Severus looked up from the homework he was grading. "Mr. Potter."

"I accidentally left my text up in my dorm room. Do you have a spare one I can borrow for the class?"

"There are a few spare books in the back cupboard you may use. Please be sure to replace it when class is over." Severus then looked back down to the parchment on his desk, but not before he quickly gave Harry a disappointed look. "Five points from Gryffindor for not coming to class prepared."

Harry turned around and quickly walked down the center aisle towards the back cupboard feeling crummy inside. He did not like that disappointed look his father gave him. But he knew it was deserved.

He opened the cabinet door and was met with two shelves worth of potions texts located near the bottom. Seeing the texts were in no particular order, he squatted down and began reading the spines. Having finally found the text he was looking for, he pulled the book out. The cover was tatty and faded. He opened the book and noticed the pages were extremely yellow and the text was slightly difficult to read, as it too, was slightly faded. He put it back and looked for another copy.

A few books to the right, Harry found another copy and pulled it out. Its spine was half missing but the cover seemed to be in better shape. He opened the book, flipping a few of the pages, and seeing it was a little easier to read, though it had a lot of writing in the margins, kept it in his hands while searching for another cleaner copy. Seeing there were only the two sixth year texts, he stood up, closed the cupboard door and returned to his desk with the second book in his hand.

Already a few minutes behind in brewing, Harry quickly opened the text to the correct page. His eyes met a scribbled mess. It seemed the previous owner had written all throughout the text, not just the few pages he had looked at moments ago. He was about to get up to retrieve the ingredients he was finally able to decipher he would need, when he noticed Ron had set two sets of everything on their table. "Thanks Ron," he whispered.

Ron gave a nod in reply, his concentration on his potion.

As Harry read through the entire list of ingredients a second time and the instructions once, he noticed that besides the ingredients being altered, some of the directions were as well. The previous owner of the book certainly did not like the way the potion was originally written.

Reading through everything one more time, Harry debated on what he should do. Should he follow the new directions or try to decipher the original ones? He looked up to the professor and bit his lip. He knew he was rubbish in potions, though he was getting a little bit better, and would no doubt get a low grade or possibly a zero for this potion since he did not complete the required homework assignment. If he followed the original directions, he would probably end up with a low grade. If he followed the revised directions and got a low grade, he would be right where he would have been. In the back of his mind, he decided that if the previous owner went through all the trouble of revising the potion, then there was the slight possibility that if he brewed it correctly, according to those revisions, he might get a slightly higher than average grade for himself.

Following the revised potion won out and he began trying to decipher the messy scrawl.

Harry got to a heavily edited portion of the directions and had to study it many times before understanding what was to be done. He looked to the ingredients Ron had placed between them to use and noticed something was missing. Ron wasn't the type to forget retrieving an ingredient so he looked again at the text. It seemed the previous owner decided to add peppermint and had written in the step after the potion came to a boil and before the resting stage. Harry looked back up to the list of ingredients. Written at the bottom of the list was _Sprig of Peppermint, optional_. An arrow next to the line led him to the margin. _Will counterbalance the excessive singing and nose-tweaking side-effects_.

Though knowing the ingredient wasn't in the original potion, Harry quickly went to the potions stores and located the peppermint. With a sprig in hand, he hurried back to his cauldron and watched as the potion came to a boil. After watching it bubble for a few seconds, he dropped in the sprig of peppermint and watched as a puff of green steam rose from his cauldron emitting a light peppermint scent. He then lowered the flame under the cauldron and waited the required resting time of five minutes.

"I didn't forget an ingredient did I?" Ron asked, eyes still focused on his potion.

"No," Harry replied, suddenly tense. "I, I sliced the daisy root instead of chopping it."

"Oh, good. I'm glad I didn't forg…Bloody hell!" Ron stood up and slowly reached a hand inside his cauldron, trying to acquire his stirring rod that was now floating in his potion.

Harry gave a little laugh and relaxed. As he watched the puff of steam from his cauldron finally dissipate, he hoped that the peppermint wouldn't be very noticeable in his potion. He really didn't want Professor Snape to know that he wasn't following the original instructions. Hopefully it wouldn't be detected when his potion was tested, though the man was a potions master so more than likely it would be. However it was too late to worry about it now.

A smile lit Harry's face as he looked at his completed potion a few minutes later. It was the perfect sunshine yellow and had the required melted chocolate consistency. Just looking at the potion made him happy. He wondered how the potion would make the drinker feel if they felt this happy just looking at it. Smile still in place, he carefully bottled up a sample and set it next to his cauldron until required to hand it in.

With the help the borrowed potions text provided, Harry found he had fifteen minutes before the class was made to work on the essay questions that were assigned. With nothing else to occupy the time, he decided to look through the rest of the text and see what else the previous owner had written.

Most of the writing was changes or additions to the potions, but there were a few things that were definitely not potions related. The few things that piqued his interest compelled him to take the book and return it to the cupboard the beginning of the next class. However, he didn't want to take the chance of leaving the classroom with the book. The professor did tell him to return it at the end class, and knowing the professor, he would search the cupboard and make sure all the spare books were there. Ignoring the pull of stuffing the book in his book bag, he instead wrote everything of interest down in one of his notebooks. He finished just as Severus addressed the class to begin their writing assignment. Harry quickly closed his notebook and text, grabbed the parchment the professor was handing out, and began the written assignment. He would concentrate on what he found in the potions book at a later time.

~SH~

"Harry. Harry!" Hermione looked next to her on the sofa in the Gryffindor common room. Harry looked like he was miles away, just staring at the fire burning merrily in front of them. "Harry?" Hermione placed a hand on his arm.

At the touch, Harry blinked a few times, and then focused on Hermione.

"Are you okay?"

Harry shrugged.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She closed the book she was reading and set it in her lap.

Letting out a deep breath, he looked back to the fire. "I have to go to the Dursley's during the Easter holiday."

"Oh. I'm so sorry," she said sadly. "I know how much you would rather stay here."

Harry nodded, appreciative of Hermione's calmness. Ron would have more than likely started ranting and raving. He was glad that for once Ron was stuck in detention. His red-headed friend had used one of the newest pranks his brothers sent from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes on a few Slytherins in the halls that morning. Unfortunately Professor McGonagall was witness.

"Did Professor Dumbledore say why you had to go back?"

"He only said it was because the wards need strengthening."

"That doesn't make sense." Hermione narrowed her eyes. "If that is the case, why have you not had to go back until now?"

"I asked him the same thing, but he didn't answer. He just said I had to go back." Harry stood up and began pacing, hands in his jean pockets. "I'm tired of this," he whispered defeated. "It's my life. Why can't I do what I want for once? Why does Dumbledore have to control everything? Am I not entitled to be happy?"

Hermione stayed quiet, having never heard Harry talk like that before. She knew he hated staying with the Dursley's but he never looked or sounded so upset about it before. She didn't know what to tell him. As he continued to pace in front of her, her heart went out to him. Watching him sigh, she knew what might make him feel a little better. "Harry, come sit down," she urged. "I wasn't sure when it would be a good time to tell you, but now seems appropriate." Hermione bit her lip. "Um…Ron and I won't be staying at Hogwarts for the break."

"You're not?"

"No. With everything that's been going on, or not going on with You-Know…with Voldemort, Mrs. Weasley wanted Ron to come home. And, well, she also invited me."

"Oh," Harry replied, feeling hurt. Why wasn't he invited for the week? Not that he'd be able to go, but that wasn't the point.

"I know what you're thinking Harry. Mrs. Weasley knew Professor Dumbledore wouldn't allow you to come. It's not safe."

"How do you know?" he shot at her angrily. He was still the last to know everything.

"When has he ever really allowed you to spend time with them?"

Harry stayed quiet. It was true. He was never allowed there for more than a day or two. He still wondered how he was able to go the Quidditch World Cup before fourth year. "I'm sorry Hermione. It's just…it's so frustrating."

"Just think," Hermione began, wanting to get Harry in a lighter mood, "at least you won't have to spend the holiday de-gnoming the Weasley's garden or being the guinea pig for Fred and George's new items, or…"

"Thanks Hermione." Harry was grateful for how she kept trying to lift his spirits, even though it was having he opposite effect. "Maybe I'll be lucky and my relatives will leave me alone for once. It's only a week after all. That should be a piece of cake compared to the months during the summer holiday."

Hermione just smiled, not entirely sure what he was talking about, and picked up her book. Harry stared at the fire for a few more moments before picking up the fourth-year defense book that was on the floor in front of him.

~SH~

"Good evening, Harry," Dumbledore said, as Harry closed the office door behind him. "Please have a seat." He gestured to one of the chairs in front of his desk.

Harry slowly walked to the chair and reluctantly sat down, the last conversation he had with the man rolling around in his head. He only hoped this summons to the headmaster's office was good news. Maybe there was a change of plans for the Easter holiday.

"I trust you had a good dinner?"

"Yes sir."

"Excellent." Albus clapped his hands together. "Now I bet you are wondering why I called you here tonight." After Harry's nod, he continued. "I wanted to give you an update on your Easter holiday."

Hoping for good news, Harry sat at the edge of his seat.

"After our discussion on Saturday, I paid a visit to Surrey and spoke with your relatives. I explained the situation to them in detail. They were very understanding."

Harry began to pale slightly.

"They have agreed to take you back for the Easter holiday and are looking forward to your visit." Albus sat back in his chair and smiled at Harry. "I am sure you're excited to spend the holiday with your family."

Harry wanted to scream at the man how much he hated his family and that he'd told him that many times since his first year at Hogwarts, and the only reason they were looking forward to him visiting was so he could continue being treated like a house elf. But instead he held his tongue, beginning to feel numb. A few seconds later, he asked the one question he kept asking himself over and over since finding out he had to go back. "I still don't understand why I have to go back. I know you said it's to strengthen the wards, but normally my being there during the summer holiday is enough. What's changed?"

Albus clasped his hands together on the desk and looked at Harry intently. "I have already explained this to you when we spoke on Saturday."

"But you…" Harry began.

"You must go back," Albus interrupted loudly, his tone serious.

Harry started at the unusual outburst from the headmaster. "Fine," he said shortly a few moments later, knowing it was worthless to argue. "May I be excused headmaster?"

"Of course, my boy." Albus gave Harry another smile, his eyes now twinkling madly.

"Thank you." Without wasting any time, Harry exited the headmaster's office. Extremely angry and upset, he ran out of the castle and down to the lake. He still had an hour until his Occlumency lesson with his father.

~SH~

Images flashed through Harry's mind…

_He was seated on his bed at Privet Drive with his stomach grumbling, having been locked in his room with no meals after completing the day's required chores…Having the wind knocked out of him when Dudley threw a punch because he hadn't been served dessert fast enough…Cradling an injured arm after falling off a ladder while trying to clean the Dursley's gutters and trying to sleep through the pain…Stumbling down the steps after his uncle forcefully threw him out the back door to complete his chores in the rain…Being dragged by the hair up the stairs to his bedroom after his uncle told his aunt he lost a big account at work…Being told countless times by his Aunt that he was unwanted and a burden to the family, that no one would ever love him…_

Harry came to on the floor in Severus' office, sweating, breathing rapidly and trembling.

Severus lowered his wand and ran a hand over his face with a sigh, trying to ignore what he felt about seeing those memories. "I am disappointed Harry," he said quietly. "This is a huge step back. What is going on?"

"I can't do it," Harry whispered, pulling his knees up and looking at the ground. "I can't go back." His voice began to quiver.

"What are you talking about?" Placing his wand in his robes, Severus studied Harry. The boy was clearly distraught. He walked over to Harry and held a hand out to help him stand up.

Still in the mindset of his memories, Harry violently flinched when Severus held out his hand.

Seeing the flinch, Severus closed his eyes briefly, sadness apparent on his face. No one should ever have that reaction. The Dursley's and the headmaster were going to pay for what they did to his child.

Severus continued to hold out his hand.

Harry raised his eyes. Slowly, he took his father's hand. Too embarrassed at what he had just done, he stayed silent.

After Harry was standing, Severus led him by the shoulders to one of the chairs in front of his desk. Once he and Harry were seated, Severus questioned him again, his voice soft. "What were you talking about just now?"

"I thought…you said… I have to go back." Harry looked up at Severus, feeling betrayed.

"Go back to where?" Severus questioned, thoroughly confused.

"The Dursleys. For Easter break."

Severus narrowed his eyes and hissed at Harry's answer. "Who told you this?" he asked tightly.

"The headmaster. He said I had to go back to strengthen the wards." He looked down to his lap.

Angry, Severus stood up and slammed a fist onto his desk causing Harry to flinch again. "That bloody, meddling, old… I told him to stay out of our lives."

"I know I was stupid," Harry rambled, not really hearing what Severus had said. "I don't know why I thought… It's just, with everything that happened, I thought…"

"Harry, stop," Severus comforted, and placed a hand on Harry's clasped hands as he sat back down. "Please listen to me. You will not be returning to the Dursley's."

"But the headmaster…"

"The headmaster has gone barmy."

Though still upset and knowing the topic was serious, Harry tried not to laugh. It was extremely funny to hear his father speak like that.

"The headmaster is aware that we are father and son. I, after unfortunately raising suspicions at the last Order meeting, had to confide in him." Severus paused and let out a deep breath. "He does not approve of this new relationship."

Harry froze, fear gripping his stomach. If the headmaster didn't approve, would he be forced to go back to the Dursley's? Dumbledore was an extremely powerful wizard. He would no doubt be able to get whatever he wanted. If that happened, would he have to continue his life acting as if Severus was just his potions professor and not his father? He started to tremble. He could not live like that again, especially knowing what it was like to have a father.

"Harry, you have nothing to fear. You will never go back to the Dursley's. You are _my _son. Professor Dumbledore does not control either of our lives. If it comes to it, I will quit my job here at Hogwarts and you and I will move away."

Relieved, though still trembling, Harry nodded. "But why did he say I had to go back during the holiday?"

"Mind you, this is just speculation as I don't think like the headmaster, thank Merlin. He's trying to meddle in our lives to keep us from having this new relationship. He is manipulating us to fit his needs."

"Oh." Harry should have realized that. Wasn't that what the man had been doing to him since his first year?

"Besides saying you had to go back to your relatives, he went ahead and changed my plans for the holiday week without telling me. I had planned for the two of us to go home to Spinners End. I thought we could spend a few days cleaning and organizing it. Make it our home. Then, for the remaining days, take a trip somewhere."

"Really?" Harry's eyes lit up momentarily. Though afraid of the answer he might get, he voiced his next thought. "What did Professor Dumbledore change on you?"

Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I am required to stay at Hogwarts the entire week and supervise the students staying behind."

"Oh," Harry said again, crestfallen. His father's plans had sounded absolutely brilliant. He'd never taken a real trip before. And he couldn't even describe what he was feeling at the thought of being able to make his father's childhood home into _their_ home. At that moment, Harry truly despised the headmaster. Not wanting his father to see how much he was affected by the change of plans, he looked to his lap and began picking at a newly healed cut on his thumb.

"If you would like, you can spend the week down here in our quarters. Or for however long you would like. I will meet with the other professors who are staying to supervise and see if I can get some hours free every day or a full day or two. I would still like the two of us to take a trip or two. I cannot make any promises though."

Harry looked up. "I would like to stay down here with you the entire week." It wouldn't be the same as spending the week away from Hogwarts creating a home, but it was better than spending it alone in the Gryffindor tower.

"That is fine, though you still have a few weeks to decide," Severus replied, pleased that Harry still wanted to spend time with him. He thought his son would jump at the chance to have his dorm room, and most of the Gryffindor tower, to himself, as there were only a few other Gryffindors staying for the holiday. "We will discuss the details when we get closer to the holiday."

"Yeah," Harry said, still sounding depressed. He dropped his head. Why did the headmaster always have to ruin everything? Why couldn't he have the life he was finally beginning to feel he deserved? He began picking at his thumb again, unaware of the damage he was doing.

Severus studied Harry and immediately realized the boy was taking this news real hard. His eyes traveled down to Harry's hands, the objects that were currently holding his son's attention, and snapped to a pool of blood on one of his hands.

Without Harry even noticing, Severus swiftly stood up and grabbed a towel he had by the sink and returned, kneeling before Harry. He grabbed the hand that was picking at the bleeding re-opened cut and set it on Harry's lap. He wiped the blood off the thumb and then pressed the towel over the wound for a few moments to stop any more bleeding.

Harry finally became aware of what his father was doing, but still kept his head down.

"Let's get this cleaned up," Severus stated, standing up and leading Harry over to the sink. "I do not want it to become infected." Severus turned on the water. Once it was warm, he pulled Harry's hand over the sink and let the warm water run over his thumb. He then lathered up his own hands with soap and water and rubbed them over Harry's thumb to clean the wound.

The final memory that flashed though Harry's mind minutes ago was making a reappearance; being told countless times that he was unwanted, a burden, and no one would love him. The emotions associated with that memory were being squashed down as the water was shut off and his hand was being dried. As he watched his father gently rub a healing cream over the wound, Harry knew without a doubt that his aunt was wrong. Surely a person who was unwanted, a burden and unlovable wouldn't be treated this way. His father obviously didn't agree with his aunt. A new emotion began to bubble up inside Harry, however he was too scared to name it, afraid it would disappear forever if it was named. Instead, with a terrible longing in his heart, Harry turned and quickly wrapped his arms tightly around Severus.

Severus placed the jar of healing cream on the counter and wrapped his own arms around Harry, pulling him closer, not surprised in the least of his son's actions. He'd actually been waiting for it. "Everything will be fine," he reassured. He rested his chin on the top of Harry's head.

"I guess," Harry breathed quietly a few seconds later.

"You need to trust me, Harry." He felt Harry nod against his chest.

"I do." Harry really did. He realized it had been months since he doubted everything Severus said and did.

Without even thinking, Severus removed his chin and kissed the top of Harry's head.

At that affectionate gesture, Harry felt his eyes fill with tears. No one had ever done anything like that to him in all his life. He blinked a few times to help will them away. When he gave a sniffle, he felt his father tighten his hold. Harry smiled and closed his eyes, content to stay where he was.

A few minutes later, however, Severus drew back from Harry, but kept his hands on his shoulders. He looked intently at his son, glad to see no tracks of tears. "All right?"

Harry looked up to his father with bright eyes. "Yeah," he said shyly.

"Good. Let's go sit back down." Severus again led Harry over to his desk. After they both sat down, he asked the question that first popped into his head when Harry stated Albus told him about returning to the Dursley's. "When did the headmaster have this discussion with you about staying with the Dursley's?"

"Erm…Saturday, after the incident at the lake and before I came down here for my detention with you. And today, before coming here."

"Why did you not bring up this conversation with me?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Didn't think I needed to. I always have to do whatever Dumbledore says."

"Harry," Severus began quietly, "the headmaster does not control your life. He may have told you what to do in the past, but that is not the case anymore. Seeing as Albus has his own agenda, I would like you to come to me whenever he requires you to see him. I would also like to know what he is telling you and what he may say you need to do."

"Okay."

"I do not trust him anymore."

"Neither do I," Harry whispered. He ran a finger over the thumb that his father healed moments ago. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"As am I. No doubt the thought of going back to the Dursley's was unnecessarily eating away at you these past six days."

"And what I thought it meant," Harry voiced quietly.

Severus raised an eyebrow but didn't question Harry's statement. He thought he had a pretty good idea of what the boy was thinking.

After Harry looked up and gave a shy smile, Severus stood up and walked around to the small bookcase behind his desk. He ran a finger over the spines of several books on an upper shelf as he read the titles. Spotting the one he wanted, he pulled it out and walked back over to Harry. "I think it would be a good idea for you to read chapters twenty-nine and thirty before your next Occlumency lesson on Tuesday."

Harry sighed at the change of topic, but reached for the book. He opened the cover and found the index. He looked up to his father as he read the chapter titles. "_Feeling Overwhelmed? _and _Using Your Distraction as a Distraction? _You haven't had me read from a text in a while. Why do I need to read these now?"

"I thought it would be obvious with your performance this evening," Severus stated with concern creeping into his voice. "You were obviously distracted by your recent conversations with the headmaster. So much so that it had you reverting back to the level of competence you showed when we started Occlumency in your fifth year."

Hearing those words, Harry's face fell. He dropped his head and looked at buttons on his father's shirt.

"Do not feel bad about this Harry. Prior to tonight, you've shown great improvement in the art. Tonight's glitch just showed that you are ready for the next step in mastering Occlumency." Not having raised his eyes, Severus lifted Harry's chin until their eyes met. "Being prepared in all states of emotion and in all types of conditions is extremely important, Harry," Severus said sternly. "I want you to be prepared if you ever face the Dark Lord again. He should not be able to get in to your mind under _any_ circumstances." He stopped and swallowed thickly, remembering what happened during Harry's fifth year. "I do not want him manipulating your mind again and leading you to your death."

Though shivering at the memory of that night, Harry pressed his lips together at the intensity of his father's voice and nodded. He closed the book and hugged it to his chest. "He will never get in my mind again, dad. I promise."

"I am going to hold you to that," Severus said with a small smile. He studied Harry intently for a moment then stood up and knelt in front of him, knowing it was time to say these next few words.

Fidgeting under the intense stare, Harry looked down in confusion as his father knelt in front of him, grabbed both his hands and held them in his own. When Severus began speaking a moment later, Harry looked back up.

"Harry, if something happened…I couldn't…I don't think…," Severus' voice became extremely rough as he rambled, not able to voice what he was feeling, "…I can't imagine…you don't…"

Seeing the distressed look on his father's face and in his eyes and the difficulty he was having at expressing whatever it was he wanted to say, Harry launched himself at him feeling slightly scared. He immediately felt his father's arms pull him tight, almost to the point of cutting off his air, but he didn't care.

Feeling his father shaking slightly, a feeling that scared him as Severus was the epitome of a stoic man, Harry was about to ask him what was wrong. Before he was even able to open his mouth though, his father began to speak.

"Harry, you don't know how much you mean to me. I can't lose you," Severus whispered, the words just tumbling out of his mouth on their own accord. "I love you."

All the air rushed out of Harry's lungs at those three words; words he never thought he'd hear being said to him. His throat and eyes started to burn madly and he began to tremble. He knew what was coming next…the tears. But he didn't want to start crying. He tried everything he could to stop himself; blinking rapidly, biting his lip, holding his breath, but soon he found himself sniffling with tears rolling down his cheeks. He buried his head in his father's chest.

Breathing raggedly, Severus closed his eyes tightly and pulled Harry closer to him. Cradling the back of his head with one hand, he then rested his chin on top of the mop of messy black hair. He desperately hoped Harry would be true to his word.

As the two sat kneeling on the hard, cold, stone floor clinging to each other, Severus knew this was another big turning point in their relationship.

* * *

_I sure hope no one minds the fluff at the end, though it is my favorite part of the chapter. It couldn't be helped. :) _

_Since I had to actually split this chapter into two shorter chapters, I'm hoping there won't be much of a wait before the next update. Gotta love having an hour lunch everyday at work to write this.  
_

_Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and adding me to your alerts.  
_


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

Having been on a cloud since Thursday's Occlumency lesson, Harry tried to get most of his homework and a little of the preparation for the upcoming defense study group completed throughout his free time on Friday and all Saturday morning. He wanted everything to be done before Saturday afternoon. That was when he was going to down to the dungeons to spend some time with his father.

Ron, who did not like seeing his friend constantly work on homework, convinced Harry to go flying and play at least one game of Quidditch Saturday morning. Harry, of course, couldn't refuse, so he spent a bit of time before lunch out on the pitch on his broom.

Seeing that there weren't many students around, Harry descended to the dungeons through the common stairwells and corridors right after finishing lunch on Saturday. He stopped in front of his father's quarters and just stared at the wooden door. He knew that these were his quarters too, but he still found he couldn't just walk in to them through the front door. Actually, if he thought about it, he wasn't too sure the wards would allow that anyway. With a shrug, he knocked on the door.

Severus, who had been relaxing in front of the fireplace with a book, stood up at the knock, walked to the door and slowly opened it, unsure who would be knocking. "Harry. Why did you knock? Why did you not just come in?"

Harry looked sheepishly at Severus. "I didn't know I was allowed to do that."

"Well, you are. The wards have been rekeyed." He motioned for Harry to come inside and then closed the door behind them.

"But it would feel weird to just walk in," Harry stated as he went to the sofa and sat down, dropping the book bag he brought with him on the floor next to him. "And what if you weren't here when I decided to come down? Then when you did, you may think someone had broken through your wards."

Severus sat down next to Harry and explained. "The wards are keyed to you, as I mentioned. If I happen to be out and you come down, when I come back here, I can tell before I even enter the door. The wards on the door will notify me."

"Oh. Okay. But it will still feel weird."

"Give it time. It will feel normal in no time."

"I'll try."

Severus closed the book he had left lying open on the sofa when he went to answer the door and placed it on the coffee table. "I am not really sure what you wanted to do between now and dinner, but I started brewing a potion this morning and it isn't quite finished. There is another five minutes left in its resting stage before I must continue with it."

"Oh." Harry tried to not sound as disappointed as he felt. He really wanted to spend the rest of the day with his father.

"If you wouldn't mind, I could use your help." Severus looked to Harry and tried not to smirk at his son's reaction.

"You want my help? Surely you remember I'm rubbish at potions."

"If I remember correctly, your last potion was absolutely perfect."

Harry's jaw dropped. "Really?" he asked astounded, not having gotten his grade yet. "It was perfect?"

"Yes."

"Wow!" He couldn't believe his potion was perfect. Then he remembered he brewed that potion with help from the notes in the book he borrowed. He did not deserve his father's praise. He cheated, and he hadn't done the assigned homework.

"Does that mean you would like to help?" Severus asked, unaware of Harry's thoughts.

"Sure." Harry really wasn't fond of the idea though, as he always got nervous while brewing, especially when Severus was nearby. But he really wanted to be in his father's company. That _was_ the whole point of leaving his afternoon and evening free. He just hoped he didn't bugger anything up.

"The potion is brewing in my office." Severus stood up after glancing at the clock. "We better get going."

Harry stood up and followed Severus to his office. The two spent the next hour finishing up the potion. Severus had Harry both preparing ingredients and brewing. When it was done, Severus left Harry bottling it up into vials while he began cleaning up the table and various items used in preparing the ingredients.

Returning to Harry's side, Severus complimented his son. "Thank you for your help, Harry. You did a good job."

"Thanks. Surprisingly I had fun." Harry put a stopper in the top of vial he just finished filling. "Where would you like me to put these?" he asked, indicating the dozen vials lining the table.

"Go ahead and put them in…" Severus stopped and grabbed his left forearm, a hiss escaping his lips.

Harry quickly turned toward his father when he stopped talking. "Where did…" He stopped as he saw the flash of pain on his father's face and the hand tightly grasping his left arm. "It's him isn't it?"

"Harry," Severus began quickly through clenched teeth, "continue filling the vials with the potion. When you are done, please finish cleaning everything up for me. You may then take the vials up to Madam Pomfrey. She is expecting them. There is a box behind my desk."

Harry's heart began to beat rapidly, and while Severus was giving him instructions, he was only half listening, having started to feel dizzy. His mind kept replaying the nightmares he'd had with his father at Death Eater meetings; dying at the hand of Voldemort.

Severus looked closely at Harry. "Did you hear me Harry?" he asked urgently.

"What?" Harry questioned, his father's voice bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Please finish bottling the potion and clean up. Bring all the vials to the hospital wing. When you're done, go on up to your tower and stay with your friends." He began heading to the door to retrieve his Death Eater mask and robes from his quarters.

"No! You can't go!" Harry yelled, rushing over to Severus. "It will be just like my nightmares."

Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was not the time for this. If he did not appear promptly, the Dark Lord would happily show how displeased he was. "Harry, I do not have time for this," he began sternly. "Please do as you are told. I will be fine."

"But…"

Severus put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Harry."

Harry gave his father a pleading look, his fists clenched in unease at his side. He was sure Severus wouldn't finish the meeting alive.

Severus' heart constricted at the look Harry gave him. It still seemed so foreign to have someone that worried about him. "I promise I will send word the moment I return to the castle." He squeezed Harry's shoulder and left for his office.

Harry was left standing in Severus' office. He stared at the closed door for a few minutes before he turned around and headed back to the table. Trying to rid his mind of seeing his father surrounded by green light with Voldemort's wand aimed at him, Harry shakily finished bottling the potion.

Once the final drop was bottled, Harry cleaned out the cauldron and the utensils his father wasn't able to finish cleaning. After setting everything neatly on the table, he boxed up the vials and brought them up to Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing.

Ten minutes later, and unsure of how he got there, Harry found himself staring at the ground in front of the portrait of the fat lady guarding the entrance to the Gryffindor tower.

"Well dear?" the portrait asked, as Harry had yet to utter a word. "Password?"

Harry raised his head and stood there looking at the portrait for a few seconds. "Erm…" Instead of muttering the password, he quickly turned around and headed in the direction of the secret corridor by the staff room. Even though Severus told him to go to his tower, the last place he wanted to be was in the noisy common room surrounded by happy classmates. He desperately wanted to be down in the dungeons.

Once in their quarters, Harry couldn't seem to sit still. He had tried to read a book he retrieved from the bookcase in his father's study, but he couldn't concentrate. Even though he was exhausted from having stayed up well past midnight the night before to finish his homework, when he tried to rest on his bed, he wasn't able to do so. At one point he thought of going to see Professor Lupin, but when he got to the door in the hallway to leave, he just couldn't.

Instead, he found himself tucked in Severus' chair by the fire in the living room. With a blanket he brought out from his room draped over his legs, which were pulled under him, he just sat in the chair and watched the flames in the fireplace, willing his father to burst through any moment.

After an hour of staring at the fire with his thoughts running rampant at what could be happening at the Death Eater meeting and feeling more and more unsettled, Harry knew he needed to find a way to calm down. The fear gripping his stomach was becoming too much. He shoved the blanket to the side and went to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate, hoping it would help calm his nerves.

Having had his ears trained for the sound of the floo since he entered their dungeon quarters hours earlier, relief flooded through Harry when he finally heard the tell-tale whoosh of the fireplace five minutes later. He all but ran from the kitchen into the living room.

~SH~

As Severus expected upon his arrival at Malfoy Manor for the Death Eater meeting, the Dark Lord was not pleased with his lateness. Though he seemed content after Severus gave him an explanation, he made his true displeasure known when Severus went to leave at the conclusion of the meeting. He was subjected to the cruciatus curse three times, three unbearably long times, before he was able to floo back to Hogwarts.

Severus stumbled out of the floo and almost landed on the stone floor. Luckily a quickly placed hand on the fireplace wall stopped his fall. Sneezing twice amid the swirling soot and ash he had kicked up, he was exceedingly grateful no one was witness to his undignified entrance.

"Bless you," Harry said uncertainly, standing behind the sofa with his hands resting on the back. He was initially going to rush to the fireplace when he heard the floo activate, but decided not to at the last moment.

Thinking he was alone, Severus whipped his head up, spotted Harry behind the sofa, and glared. "What are you doing down here?" He stopped speaking as a painful spasm rippled through his body. He closed his eyes and slowly tried to stand up straight, wincing as his painful muscles protested. "I thought I told you to return to your common room?" Gritting his teeth against the pain that felt like thousands of knifes slicing his muscles, he walked away from the fireplace toward the sofa.

"I needed to be here," Harry answered quietly. Seeing the pain apparent on his father's face, though it looked like he was desperately trying to hide it, and surprised that the man had let his guard down in front of him as much as he had, Harry finally removed himself from behind the sofa. When he got closer to Severus, he could see him shaking. "Are you all right?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, Harry wished he could take them back. He sounded like a complete idiot. Of course his father was not all right. He was extremely pale, breathing shallowly, barely able to stand or walk, and in obvious pain. Every inch of visible skin was covered in dirt and soot, and there were pieces of grass and leaves in his hair and stuck to his robes. Harry even thought he saw some blood.

Severus finally made it to the sofa and sat down, trying his hardest to hide how much pain he was in. Harry did not need to see him like this, and he wished that his son would have listened to him and had been in his common room instead. He dropped his Death Eater mask on the floor by his feet. As another ripple of pain coursed through his body, Severus tried to reach for his wand inside his robes.

"Dad, what do you need?" Harry asked worriedly, as he watched his father struggle to move and obviously keep his pain to a minimum.

Severus wanted to snap at Harry and tell him to leave, but looking over at him, he could see how worried and frightened Harry was. Severus hoped a distraction would help calm him. "Please…get a vial…of pale blue…potion…in my bedroom. It's…in the top…drawer of the nightstand…on the right."

Harry nodded and ran to Severus' bedroom. Not knowing which nightstand on the right his father had meant, the one on the right when looking at the bed or the one on the right when _in_ the bed, Harry hoped he chose correctly and ran to the one on the right side of the room. He yanked open the drawer and fumbled around inside trying to find the correct vial. Seeing a half dozen of the requested vials hidden in the back, he grabbed one and ran back out to the living room. After uncorking it, he pressed it into Severus' shaking hand.

Severus gratefully downed the potion then closed his eyes, waiting for the potion to take effect.

When it seemed his father was not going to say anything else, Harry quickly left the living room and went back to the kitchen. He pulled a clean towel out of a drawer and wet it with warm water. Seeing the pot of hot chocolate on the stove he had just finished making, he poured the hot liquid into two mugs.

Wet towel and mugs in hand, Harry returned to the living room. As his eyes landed on Severus, Harry's heart started pounding madly, his fear returning. His father was bent over with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Harry could also see his whole body trembling every few seconds. Seeing his father like that was really beginning to scare him. "Dad?" he said quietly as he sat down at the far side of the sofa and set one of the mugs of hot chocolate on the table.

With his head still in his hands, Severus looked over to Harry.

Harry held out the wet towel. "So you can wipe off some of the dirt and stuff." He then held out the mug still in his hands. "It's hot chocolate. I don't know if you drink it, but it always makes me feel better."

"Thank you Harry," Severus acknowledged with a hoarse voice, surprised. He took the cloth and mug and noticed Harry shaking. He also noticed Harry looked terrified. "I am fine." He wiped the soot and dirt off his face and hands the best he could and dropped the towel on top of the mask on the floor. Then he took a sip from the mug.

"What did he do?" Harry asked, not truly believing Severus was fine in the least.

"Nothing I have not endured before." Wanting desperately to get out of the Death Eater robes he was still in, Severus slowly stood up. As he started to remove the robes, his body gave another painful spasm. Squeezing his eyes closed, he slowly removed the robes and let them drop to the floor. He sat back on the sofa as quickly as his body would allow.

Harry continued to shake. His father hadn't died at the hand of Voldemort this afternoon, but right now, this seemed almost as bad. Severus was in obvious pain, the potion seeming to have no effect. What if the pain got worse? What if whatever Voldemort cast didn't have a counter curse? What if there was no potion to help?

"Harry, come over here." Severus patted the spot next to him on the sofa.

Harry shook his head at the pain apparent in Severus' voice. He didn't want to cause his father any more pain by sitting next to him. "No. I'll just hurt you more. I know you're in pain."

"And you are frightened. Come over here."

Though embarrassed at being told he was scared, Harry finally scooted over so he was sitting next to Severus.

Severus put an arm around Harry's shoulders and pulled him closer so he was now leaning again his side. "I will be fine Harry." He could feel Harry trembling beside him. Even though he was still in pain, though thankfully it was receding, he ran his hand up and down Harry's arm.

Harry looked up to Severus, beginning to feel calmer almost immediately. "But he hurt you. What if it becomes worse? What if whatever he cast on you kills you?"

"You have nothing to fear," Severus responded, trying to make light of the situation. He could have told Harry what curse was inflicted on him, but thought it best to leave that out. Harry didn't need to know the details. "He has not done any permanent damage yet. The Dark Lord would not be so stupid as to kill me. Besides, he considers me one of his most faithful and trustful advisors." Severus finished that sentence with one more word in his head. _Hopefully._

Harry's heart beat rapidly at his father's words. He knew Voldemort liked to inflict pain on his followers, as witnessed in the graveyard his fourth year. He just didn't think his father would be one of those people. "He hurts you all the time…at every meeting doesn't he?"

Severus closed his eyes briefly. His son did not need to know what went on at the meetings. But deep down he knew Harry had to know the truth. "He hurts me, yes, but not at every meeting."

Looking up at Severus miserably, Harry pressed himself closer into his father's side. "I don't want you to go anymore."

"Harry, you know I must. This is one of the only ways in which we have a chance of winning this blasted war."

"I know, but I don't want you to get hurt anymore. What if next time he kills you?"

Squeezing Harry's shoulder, Severus let out a sigh. He didn't know what to say to Harry's statement.

~SH~

Two hours later, pain and tremor free, Severus stood in the kitchen watching Harry wash their hot chocolate mugs. "Are you hungry for dinner yet Harry?" he asked.

Jumping slightly, as he thought Severus was still resting in his bedroom after taking a shower and speaking with Dumbledore, he turned around. "Yes. A little."

"Good." Severus moved into the kitchen. "I don't know about you, but I really do not want to eat the shepherd's pie the house-elves are serving for dinner. Are you amendable to having something Italian? I thought we could go have dinner in London. While we were there during our outing last month, I spotted an Italian restaurant close to the Leaky Cauldron."

"London?" Harry questioned, in surprise. "Are you sure? I really don't mind having dinner in the Great Hall or down here." The thought of leaving the castle and spending the time alone with his father was definitely appealing, but he knew it had only been hours since his father returned from the Death Eater meeting barely able to stand.

"But I mind. I would like for us to have a meal outside of the castle."

Harry looked his father up and down. Severus looked like normal, but he knew his father was gifted at hiding what he didn't want people to see. "You're not…aren't you still…" Harry stopped, not sure how to word what he wanted to ask.

"I am perfectly fine," Severus said, giving Harry a reassuring smile. "You do not need to worry." He walked over to the sink and cupped Harry's cheek with a potion-stained hand. "Harry, you are the child. I am the parent. I worry about you. It's not the other way around."

"Sorry," he responded shyly, though inside his heart was beating wildly at Severus' words and the foreign touch. "But I just don't want anything to happen to you." His face then dropped a moment later. "We can't go to London. We might be recognized."

Severus pulled out his wand. "And that is why we will be going as Christopher and Harry Evans."

"Oh…yeah," Harry replied feeling completely stupid.

~SH~

Severus and Harry stepped out of the floo into their quarters three hours later. The restaurant, having been located a bit west of the Leaky Cauldron, had them having to take a bus to get to and from there. The trip, unfortunately, took a bit longer then Severus expected as he didn't realize the restaurant was as far as it was.

Yawning, Harry headed to his bedroom and took off his jacket. He still had a little bit of time before curfew so he went to his book bag lying on the desk and pulled out his photo album. He wanted to look through it and see if his father would tell him more about the pictures. And, if he were honest with himself, he really didn't want to leave Severus' side yet.

Harry walked into the living room and spotted his father stoking the fire. "Dad?"

Severus gave a log one more push into the flames and stood up, setting the poker back on the hearth. "Yes?"

"Erm…I brought my photo album with me. I was wondering if you would tell me about some more of the pictures?"

"Go ahead and get comfortable on the sofa and I'll bring in some tea and biscuits."

Harry headed to the sofa, took off his shoes, and sat in the middle. While waiting for Severus to return, he flipped open the album. His eyes landed on the note his father had left him while he had been sick, and he smiled. He read through it once, and then turned to the beginning of the pictures. His father had already told him the stories of the first few pages of pictures, but he still stopped at each one. By the time Severus returned with the tea and biscuits, he was finally at the start of the pictures they had yet to talk about.

Severus set the biscuits on the coffee table, handed a cup of tea to Harry, and sat next to him with his own cup of tea. He moved the photo album so it was resting on both of their laps.

Harry drank a little of his tea then set the cup on the coffee table. "This is where we left off last time." He pointed to a Muggle picture of Severus and Lily at a picnic bench. One end of the table had a bunch of balloons attached to it with a cake, plates, forks, and cups surrounding the balloons. The other side of the table held wrapped gifts. Severus and Lily looked like they were beginning to stand up. "When was this one taken?"

"We were ten in this picture. It was taken at the house of a good friend of your mother's. She lived a few houses away. The girl was having a birthday party. With consent of Lily's friend, I was invited. Your grandmother was one of the few who were taking pictures."

With a smile, Harry turned the page to the next photo and listened to the story behind it with rapt attention. This scene continued for a while.

Forty-five minutes later Severus pointed to a picture on the far side of the album. "This was taken on the grounds of Hogwarts our fourth year. Lily and I had found this secluded spot around the back of the castle during our first year. We went there all the time. For some reason no one really ventured to that side of the castle. That was how we were able to hide our friendship over the years."

Harry stared at the picture, which was only of his father. Severus was lying on his back in the grass with his hands under his head. His eyes were closed and it looked like he was asleep. His potions text was open and sitting on top of some parchment. The edges of his text, strands of his hair, and branches of the tree were being ruffled in the breeze.

"We spent almost the entire day out there," Severus continued. "We worked on homework and just talked. I obviously fell asleep. Your mother had promised me she didn't take a picture."

Laughing, Harry reached to the coffee table and took a biscuit. He ate it as he looked at the picture of his father again. He couldn't take his eyes off of it. This was the only time he had ever seen his father looking so relaxed, without hiding what he was really thinking or feeling; looking vulnerable. He wished his father could look like that again. Yawning, Harry curled his legs under himself and leaned into Severus' side. So far, this was his favorite picture.

Severus took a biscuit himself then turned the page in the photo album. After finishing the biscuit, he continued explaining the pictures. About ten minutes later he realized he hadn't heard a word from Harry. He looked down and realized Harry had fallen asleep against him.

Very carefully, as to not wake Harry, Severus closed the photo album and set it on the coffee table. Relaxing back against the sofa, he put an arm around his slumbering son, causing the boy to snuggle a little into his side. Severus smiled and began carding his fingers through Harry's hair.

It was a perfect ending to a not so perfect day.

~SH~

"Ron, I am not going to give you my defense notes," Hermione said distractedly from a table in the corner of the Gryffindor common room. "You are a sixth year. You should know how to take notes for yourself by now."

"Fine." Ron gave a huff and looked to the entrance of the common room as it opened. "Harry," he said happily as he saw his friend walk into the room. "Do you have your notes from defense?"

"Er…yeah. I think so." Harry walked over to the table and set his book bag on top. He looked from Ron to Hermione. "What are you two doing?"

"Homework," Ron answered harassed. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and Hermione wouldn't leave him alone until he decided to do some homework. "Hey, where were you from yesterday afternoon through breakfast today? I haven't seen you since lunch yesterday?"

"Oh…I spent the afternoon with Lupin," Harry lied. "I got back to the tower when you were out. I was really tired and I fell asleep. You didn't see me at breakfast because I got up early. I had a few more things I needed to ask Lupin." Harry, of course did not go back to the tower last night or get up early. Because he had fallen asleep down in the dungeons, Severus let him stay overnight. The two had just finished breakfast a half hour ago.

Hermione eyed Harry with uncertainty but didn't say anything.

"Well, now that you're here, you can join in the fun," Ron said sarcastically. "Let's work on our defense homework together. My notes are useless." He moved his unused books and parchment to the floor to make room for Harry.

"I've already done my defense. But I do need to complete my charms homework."

"Great. You can do that while I borrow your notes."

"My notes should be in my book bag, in the blue notebook. Help yourself. I have to go up and get my charms stuff. I'll be right back." Harry left the table and walked up the spiral staircase to the sixth-year dorm.

He went to his bed and was surprised to see the curtains surrounding it were open and his bed made. Before leaving for the dungeons yesterday afternoon, he left his books and notebooks on the bed and had closed the curtains. The house elves had obviously come and cleaned during breakfast. Knowing the elves tended to put their belongings in their trunks, Harry opened his and knelt down to find what he needed.

A few minutes later, he walked back down to the common room with his text and spare parchment in hand. When he got to within a few feet of the table, he stopped immediately. His stomach dropped to the floor and his mouth opened in shock.

Ron and Hermione had his photo album open in front of them and were reading the letter from Severus.

"Wha…what are you doing?" Harry knew at one point he would have to tell his friends about Severus, but not like this. He walked over to the table and noticed the album was open to the photo of his father asleep, the page where he placed the letter earlier that morning. Angry, he yanked the letter out of his friends' hands, put it back in the album, and shoved the album in his bag.

"What was _that_?" Hermione asked, ignoring Harry's question.

"None of your business." Harry slung his bag on his shoulder and turned to leave the table.

Ron grabbed Harry's arm. "Wait!"

Irritated, Harry spun around and glared at Ron. "What?"

"Who was that letter from?"

"Again, none of your business."

Hermione stood up and walked to Harry. "Harry, the letter said it was from your father. But your father is dead. And the letter was new. What is going on?"

Harry whirled on Hermione, furious and a little hurt. "Why can't you mind your own business for once Hermione?" he yelled. "Why do you always have to know everything? And who gave you the right to invade my privacy?"

Hermione grabbed Harry's arm to lead him back to their table.

Harry yanked his arm out of her grasp. "Let me go."

Ron glance around the common room, having a feeling they were being watched. Harry's outburst had indeed caused everyone to stare. "Harry, stop yelling will you?"

Looking around, Harry saw everyone's eyes on him. "Sure." With that, he turned around and left the common room with Ron and Hermione chasing after him.

"Harry, stop." Ron called after Harry.

Harry spun around. "Why should I? You have no respect for my privacy. You start looking at things you have no right to look at!"

"It was in your book bag. You told me to get out your notes."

"My notes yes. Not everything else that is in my bag." Livid with his friends' actions, Harry turned around and strode away.

Not giving up, Ron and Hermione followed. When they came to an alcove in the corridor, Hermione put a hand on Harry's arm to stop him. "Harry, stop. We need to talk about this."

"There is nothing to talk about."

"Sit down," Hermione ordered while indicating to the alcove.

Giving Ron and Hermione one more glare, he reluctantly walked over to the alcove. Dropping onto the bench, he crossed his arms over his chest. His anger was evident.

"What is going on?" Hermione asked yet again, as she sat down next to Harry with Ron sitting down next to her. "I recognized the writing on the letter."

Harry froze and didn't say anything.

"You recognized it?" Ron asked Hermione incredulously. He was always surprised at how observant Hermione was.

Knowing it might be best if no one else was privy to their conversation, Hermione pulled out her wand and cast a muffliato spell around them. "Yes Ron. We've been seeing the handwriting on our homework for over six years."

Ron narrowed his eyes and he tried to figure out whose writing it could be.

With the attention off of him for the moment, Harry picked up his bag and stood up, beginning to leave.

Hermione grabbed his arm, pulling him back down. "Harry."

Glowering at Hermione, Harry reluctantly sat back down. He began to realize there was no way of getting out of this.

"It's professor Snape's writing isn't it Harry?" Hermione asked. "That was him in the picture wasn't it?"

Ron looked outraged, only having read the letter. He hadn't had a chance to look at the picture. "What are you doing with a picture of Snape, Harry?"

"And why did he write a letter to you signed as dad?" Hermione added.

"Just what it means," Harry replied. Still exceeding angry, he took a deep breath. "Professor Snape is my father."

"What? You're mental Harry," Ron responded laughing. "What are you playing at?"

"You wanted to know. Well, there you go. And I'm not mental Ron." Harry looked from Ron to Hermione.

Ron's amusement was slowly being replaced with disgust. "There is no way in…I know you Harry. You would never believe that mean, greasy, bat of the dungeons was your father. You must have ingested a befuddlement draught or been hit with a confundus charm. It's disgusting that you would even believe that." Ron stood up angry. "First you're getting on our case when we ask you questions, then you're always making excuses for everything, and now this? It's totally disgusting. When you get your head on straight and come to your senses, let me know. I will not be a friend with someone who thinks his father is Snape!" With a shudder, he left the small alcove and stormed off in the direction of Gryffindor tower.

Disappointed with Ron, but not wanting to deal with him, Hermione looked at Harry, unsure how she should proceed. Her thoughts were going a hundred miles and hour in her head. "Harry, it is unfortunately not uncommon for teachers to…well…to act inappropriately with students." Seeing Harry opening his mouth and knowing what he may say, she explained. "I know how much you want a family Harry. Anybody in your situation would want the same thing. But please be rational about this."

"I am rational," Harry interrupted.

"I don't think you are. Why would you believe professor Snape is your father? How can you trust anything he says after how he's acted all these years towards you? He may just be playing you."

"He is _not_ playing me Hermione." Harry was at the point of yelling again.

"I'm going to assume all these times you haven't been around, you've been down in the dungeons." Harry shook his head. "Don't deny it Harry. I've seen you heading down there outside of classes and when you don't have a detention. Did you ever think he was using being your father as an excuse to get you down there Harry? Ron told me there have been nights when you never showed up in the dorm." Hermione stopped for a moment, trying to figure out how to word what she wanted to ask next. "Harry, has he ever…um…has professor Snape ever touched you or anything?"

Outraged, Harry stood up. "WHAT? I can't even imagine why you would think such a thing. Why would you suggest that?"

"Harry, calm down." Hermione tried to get Harry to sit down, but he refused to budge. "It's just…I don't trust him. You know none of us do. He's obviously got an ulterior motive, and if it's not…you know…then it must be to give you to Voldemort when you fully trust him. He verbally abuses you in every single potions class, Harry. He uses his power of a professor over you. Can't you see that? You can't trust him. He cannot be your father."

"Hermione, you don't know what you're talking about." He began to feel nauseous at what Hermione had implied.

"I don't think you should see the professor outside of class Harry. I really don't trust him."

"Why don't you believe me?"

Hermione looked at Harry seriously for a few moments. "Because you've been lying to Ron and me for months."

"You know, Hermione, you're a hypocrite. First you're mad because I'm lying and then your mad and don't believe me when I'm telling the truth." Harry had heard enough. Wanting out of her presence, he picked up his book bag.

"I think it best if I raise my suspicions to Professor McGonagall" Hermione stated, ignoring Harry's last few sentences. "As I said, Harry, it isn't uncommon for a teacher to hurt the students under them."

"You're making a mistake Hermione." Harry was shaking with rage. "You're going to make a fool out of yourself."

"I don't think I will."

"Believe what you want to believe. At least I know the truth. Goodbye." Without another glance at Hermione, Harry left the alcove.

Hermione shook her head at Harry's denial. The situation needed to be brought to her Head's attention. She'd speak with the professor before she went to lunch as she knew McGonagall was currently unavailable.

~SH~

Breathing heavily, Harry wandered around the castle corridors. He couldn't believe his friends. They go through his private things and then they sprout those awful words. Then Hermione had the audacity to say she couldn't believe a word he said because he'd been lying to her and Ron for months?

Feeling betrayed and almost on the verge of tears, Harry tried to rid his thoughts of the past ten minutes. He needed some air and to find someplace quiet. As he was about to exit the castle, Remus called his name.

"Harry, how are you doing?" Remus walked up to Harry.

"Hi," he responded gloomily.

At Harry's unenthusiastic response, Remus looked carefully at the boy. He was shaking slightly and breathing heavily. "Is something wrong?"

"Huh? Erm…no. Everything's fine." Harry then left Remus staring after him and walked down the stairs to exit the castle.

His legs carried him up to the owlry. As he entered, he called for his snowy owl, but Hedwig never appeared. Looking around, he didn't see his first friend anywhere. With a sigh, he slowly trekked back down to the grounds. Not wanting to go back inside, he began wandering over to the back side of the castle. The same side his mother and father always snuck off too. Under the shade of a large tree, he laid down and with his hands under his head and closed his eyes.

"Hello Harry."

A dreamy voice broke through Harry's sleep-filled mind a while later.

"Harry?"

Harry slowly opened his eyes. Spotting someone to his left, he looked over. It was Luna. She was sitting on the grass with her legs crossed. Slowly Harry sat up.

"You seem kind of pale. Are you okay?" Luna asked, concerned.

"Yeah," Harry said around a yawn. He looked at Luna confusedly. "What are you doing over here?"

"I was looking for a blibbering humdinger. They like the quiet."

Harry tried to hold in a laugh at yet another one of Luna's strange creatures.

"Would you like to join me? You look like you need to take you mind off of things."

"I…" Harry was going to say no, but the odd girl always made him feel better about things. "Sure, Luna."

"Great. Four eyes are always better than two, I say." She stood up and held out a hand to help Harry up.

"Thanks," Harry responded once he was standing.

"No problem. Come on. The humdinger will probably be closer to the forest."

Harry followed, glad to get his mind off of his friends' earlier reactions.

"So what has you so down Harry?" Luna questioned a few minutes later as they came upon the edge of the forest.

"Nothing." Harry definitely did not want to talk about his problems with her.

"It's about your father isn't it?" Luna asked. She stopped walking momentarily and bent down to study something on the ground. After a few moments she stood back up and they continued walking. "Your friends don't trust professor Snape and they don't believe you," she added.

Harry whipped his head around. Luna was looking at him knowingly with a kind smile on her face.

"How do…"

"One only has to keep an open mind and observe what is right in front of them to see the truth."

"So, let me guess, you don't approve like everyone else?" Harry could not bear if it another person began to hate him, even if it was Luna.

"Of course not Harry." Luna's silvery grey eyes shown with sincerity.

"So far you're the only one," Harry mumbled, "though I only told…no…I was only _forced_ to tell two people."

"I can see how happy you've been Harry. I can even see a slight change in professor Snape."

"Really?" He couldn't even see a change in the professor, well outside of class anyway. How was it possible for Luna?

"Yes. I knew about _you_ did I not?" Luna continued to look at Harry somewhat dreamily.

A thought then crossed Harry's mind, causing him to panic slightly. "You won't tell anyone Luna, will you?"

"Of course not Harry. I know the danger of it getting out. I'll take it to my grave if needed."

"You won't need to keep it a secret that long," Harry laughed. "Just until Voldemort is gone for good."

Luna smiled in response.

As they continued walking along the edge of the forest, stopping every now and then for Luna to look at something on the ground, Harry began to realize how relaxed he now was. He no longer felt the immense anger he had over a half hour ago. The calm Luna projected always seemed to have that effect on him. He remembered it well after their encounter at the end of his fifth year. "Thank you, Luna," he said, looking over to his right, but was surprised to see her gone. Was he so caught up in himself he didn't even notice her walking away? Harry looked all around but could not find her. Shrugging, and with a smile on his face, Harry walked back toward the castle.

* * *

_Well, unfortunately, I think this may be my last quick update. I know where I want to go next, but I'm not sure how to get there. Hopefully inspiration will come in the middle of the night, like it always seems to do, fairly soon._

_Thanks for all the reviews and alerts!_


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Ron was standing in the corridor that housed Professor McGongall's office, with his hands jammed in his pockets and one foot on the wall behind him. He was waiting for Hermione, who was currently inside speaking with the professor. During lunch, he and Hermione had spoken in detail about Harry and Professor Snape, with Hermione revealing her thoughts to him. After listening to Hermione's suspicions, he wasn't sure which was more disgusting…her idea of what was going on or the fact that the bat of the dungeons could be Harry's father and Harry seeming to have no problems with it.

He gave a shudder as the office door opened and Hermione walked out looking flustered and chastised. "Well?" he asked after Hermione shut the door behind her.

Hermione's face began to turn pink. "My suspicions were unfounded."

"Really?" Ron asked astounded. He wasn't sure what he felt truly about that.

"Yes. When I told Professor McGonagall what I thought was going on, she was appalled that I would even consider such a thing. She thought that I was smarter than that."

"But there _was_ a chance it could have been true," Ron reassured, even he though he hated the topic of discussion. He'd say anything to make Hermione feel better. "You had a right to bring it up."

"Yeah, I guess. I wish I never even said anything to her, though. I've never seen her look so disappointed in me. And she kept asking me why I didn't believe what Harry was telling us."

The two started walking towards the Gryffindor common room in silence, both lost in thought.

A few minutes later, Ron broke the silence and led them to an alcove in the corridor for a bit more privacy. "So Harry was telling the truth then?"

"According to McGonagall."

"You don't sound convinced," Ron stated, staring at Hermione.

"I'm not. I don't understand why we are now finding out about it. It just seems odd. Besides, how are we to know for sure it's the truth? How are we to know that the professor isn't brainwashing Harry in to believing they are father and son and then at the most opportune time, deliver him to Voldemort? I don't care what anybody says. Professor Snape is a Death Eater and can't be trusted."

Ron nodded, but for some strange reason, he was pretty sure Harry was telling the truth. "I don't know what I feel about Harry anymore. Just thinking that he and Snape are related….yuck!" He stuck out his tongue in demonstration. "And is it just me or does it seem like Harry is okay with Snape being his father? I don't understand. Harry is supposed to hate Snape!" Ron abruptly stood up and continued walking to the common room, somewhat angrily. "I feel like Harry's been lying to me for years. I don't like liars."

"This is something we really need to think about," Hermione responded quietly as they finally entered the Gryffindor common room.

~SH~

"You wished to see me Minerva?" Severus asked after the Gryffindor head opened her office door.

"Yes Severus. Please come in. Thanks for coming so quickly." She shut the door behind them and pointed to the small sofa seated against one of the walls. "Have a seat."

Severus waited until Minerva was seated before speaking. "I am assuming this is about Harry."

"It is. I am afraid Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger are now privy to your relationship with Mr. Potter."

"What?" he asked outraged. "You had no right to discuss this with…"

"I was not the one who told the two of them," Minerva interrupted. "Nor was it Potter," she added quickly.

Severus sighed. "How did they find out?"

"From a photo album and letter. It seemed Potter had the items in his book bag this morning. When he went up to his dorm to gather some homework, leaving his book bag behind, Mr. Weasley went looking inside it for notes for one of their classes. He came across the album and pulled it out. He and Ms. Granger had just finished reading the letter, with Granger spotting a photo, when Potter came back down to the common room."

Angry on more than one level, Severus stood up and began pacing the office. He knew what album Minerva was referring to, however he had no clue as to what letter she was speaking of. But it didn't matter. "With the severity of the situation, Minerva, I feel it would be best to meet with the three of them." He turned to face the witch. "The sooner the better. As I've noticed in the past, Mr. Weasley's reaction will not be good for Harry," he added as an afterthought.

"You have no idea," Minerva agreed, knowing all too well how the red-head would react. "But Ms. Granger's reaction was startling and I'm more worried about her reaction on Harry."

Severus raised his eyebrows, wondering if he even wanted to know what the Know-it-All thought.

"To put it mildly, Severus, she came to me with concerns about you acting…well, inappropriately…with Potter."

Severus didn't need clarification from the transfiguration professor to know what she was implying. "I hope you set her right, Minerva. I am appalled that she would even consider such a thing," he said in a surprisingly calm voice. "Though at least I know she's looking out for Harry."

In a bit of shock at the calmness Severus exuded at the mention of Ms. Granger's accusation, Minerva didn't say anything for a few seconds and just stared at him. When she recovered, she cleared her throat and continued with her line of thought. "That was why this topic even came to my attention. Ms. Granger thought it best to notify a professor."

"Weasley and Granger need a reminder on what privacy means."

"I have to agree."

Severus nodded and took his seat on the sofa.

"So when would you like to have this meeting, Severus?" Minerva asked.

"Right after dinner tonight would be best. To make them more comfortable, as Weasley and Granger will not care for my presence in the least, could we perhaps use your office?"

Smirking, Minerva nodded. "Of course. I take it you would like me to disappear for this meeting?"

"I would appreciate it. But I would like you to stay close as they are in your house and you should know what is going on."

Minerva nodded. "Six thirty would work best for me."

"Agreed." Even though he just sat down, Severus stood up. "I will take care of notifying Harry if you will do the honor of notifying the other two? I think a delivery at dinner would be best."

~SH~

Harry entered the Great Hall for dinner, ignored Ron and Hermione, and sat down next to Neville at the far side of the table. He had felt a little better after talking with Luna earlier in the day, but found as the time passed, he was still upset and angry with Ron and Hermione.

Neville picked up right away that there was something going on between the three, as the three usually ate together. "All right there Harry?"

"Yeah," Harry answered distractedly. "I'm fine." He then served himself his dinner.

"I don't know if you've finished all your homework for tomorrow, but I have a few more questions I need to finish for Herbology." Neville looked to Harry. "Would you like to work on homework together tonight?"

Harry gave Neville a small smile. "Sure. That sounds good." He returned his attention to his dinner, but found he actually wasn't all that hungry. He could feel the stares and glowers coming from farther up the table and they made him loose his appetite. Instead of eating, he just pushed the food around his plate with his fork.

This morning he was finally able to see they type of people his friends really were, and he did not like it. They always claimed to be there for him, but the minute they were told something they didn't like, they changed. One said they didn't want to be his friend unless, in a round about way, he changed who he was. The other came up with wild accusations.

Real friends did not act like that. Friends didn't betray each others trust or invade their privacy. They were supposed to believe each other and try to understand where the other was coming from. In short, a friend was supposed to be there through thick and thin. At least, that was what Harry always thought and had witnessed in others around him while growing up.

Ron and Hermione never even asked him what he thought about the situation or what his feelings were. What kind of friends did he have?

Up at the staff table, Severus' eyes wandered to the Gryffindor table. He spotted Weasley and Granger, but not Harry. He watched the two talk animatedly for a few seconds before Weasley looked down the table and glared and made a face. Already knowing who the red-head was looking at, Severus followed the boy's gaze and his eyes landed upon Harry. He sighed and closed his eyes briefly. As he feared, even with a quick glance at his son, Harry's friends' reactions were indeed having a negative affect on him. He only hoped things would change in a few hours.

Given up the thought of eating, Harry was about to leave the Great Hall when a first year Ravenclaw came up to him and handed him an envelope. He thanked the boy and opened the envelope to read the note inside.

After reading the note, Harry's eyes darted up to the staff table and landed on Professor McGonagall. She was fixing a cup of tea, her mouth a thin line. Harry's gaze then moved down the table to Severus. His father was looking at him in extreme concern. Already feeling the way he was, the look his father was giving him almost made him come undone. He swallowed thickly, then left the Great Hall, without eating anything, and headed to his dorm. It was fairly obvious that Hermione had gone to their Head of House with her suspicions, and their Head, in turn, went to Severus. Why couldn't Hermione have minded her own business?

~SH~

"What are you doing here?" Ron spat angrily. He and Hermione were walking side-by-side through the corridor a few feet from Professor McGonagall's office. Harry was walking toward them from the other direction.

Ron's attitude almost made Harry stop in his tracks. He knew Ron was unhappy with him, but he definitely wasn't expecting the attitude. If anyone should have been angry, Harry knew it should be him. He was the one who had his privacy invaded. Not Ron.

Suddenly become extremely angry himself, Harry answered shortly. "I received a note." Harry looked from Ron to Hermione as he came upon them. The three met at the door at the same time. "What are you two doing here?"

"Same reason," Hermione answered, knocking on the door.

Professor McGonagall opened the door a few seconds later and led them all into her office. "As you are a little early, please take a seat and I'll be with you in a few minutes." Minerva gestured to the sofa and chairs and went through a small hallway to her attached private quarters.

Severus was seated in her living room with a cup of tea. It was decided that he would let the three sit there for a few minutes before he entered. He had asked Minerva to leave the attached door open so they could hear what was going on.

Wanting to be as far away as he could get from his so-called friends, Harry walked over to the professor's desk, pulled out one of the chairs in front of it and sat down furiously. He turned his attention to Hermione. "You talked to Professor McGonagall," he accused.

"I told you I would, Harry. I had to be sure you were not being hurt."

"And my telling you what was going on wasn't good enough for you?" he spat. "You know, I thought you two were my friends. How could you do this to me and treat me this way?"

Hermione answered. "I couldn't sit there and do nothing. If what I thought had been true, then…"

"I _told_ you what was going on," Harry yelled, his hands clenched so hard on the arms of the chair his knuckles were white. "But you didn't believe me."

"Harry, I know now that my accusations were false. But please use your head. This is obviously some scheme the professor is playing on you. He can't be trusted."

Harry thought the wood of the chair's arms he was gripping might shatter, he was so furious. "You're wrong, Hermione." He glared at the witch.

Harry turned his attention to Ron. "What about you? What did you say to McGonagall?"

At the accusation, Ron glared at Harry in return. "I didn't say anything."

"Sure," Harry said sarcastically. His two friends were still looking at him somewhat unconvinced, Hermione more so than Ron. Harry unclenched a hand from the chair and removed his glasses. "Look at me closely and tell me I'm lying."

"Harry," Hermione began.

"LOOK!" Harry shouted, trembling from the rage he felt inside.

Hermione looked at Harry for a moment. She could see some resemblance to the potions master, but she would not accept it. "I know you think you look like Professor Snape and feel you're his son, but Harry, a potion could easily do this."

Harry closed his eyes for a few seconds, still furious with her. "Merlin, Hermione. Why can't you believe what is right in front of you?"

Pursing her lips, Hermione said nothing. She was tired of fighting with Harry and it was obvious he wasn't going to consider anything else no matter how logical it was.

Ron studied Harry. Like before, he already believed his friend, though the truth bothered him greatly. "It seems to me that you're okay with Snape being your father. I don't understand. Why would you be okay with that _git_ being your father?"

Harry got up and walked to one of the bookcases in the office near the hallway and door to the professor's quarters. He stared blankly at the books in front of him.

"Professor Snape doesn't see me as the Boy-Who-Lived, the Chosen One, or the Savior of the Wizarding World, like everyone else," Harry began a minute later still facing the bookcase, his voice tight. "He sees me as _just_ Harry. He doesn't see me as a burden, a freak, a worthless piece of space that is only entitled to a cupboard under the stairs or a tiny bedroom with broken furnishings, hand-me-down clothes at least four sizes bigger than me, or scraps of food every few days." Harry's voice now held none of the anger it had before. "He doesn't see me as a punching bag, or a house elf or someone who doesn't exist."

Ron and Hermione sat on the sofa as still as statues and hardly breathing during Harry's talk. This was the first time they had ever heard Harry talk about his time at the Dursley's in detail. The two looked at each other wondering if Harry even realized all he was saying.

Harry banged a fist on the shelf in front of him and finally turned around, wrapping his arms around his chest. His voice began to get softer. "Professor Snape has given me so much more than the Dursley's ever did. He has given me the first real home I can remember. He makes sure I eat healthy and that I am healthy. I've had my first ever medical exam and eye exam because of him and he's taken care of me when I've hurt myself and when I've been sick." Voice now beginning to quiver, he continued. "He lets me talk to him about anything and he gives me advice. I can go to him at any time. He gives me rules and punishes me. Professor Snape makes sure I'm happy." He stops and sniffs a few times as he feels tears begin to well in his eyes, this being the first time he'd ever even thought about what he felt about the things Professor Snape had been doing for him since finding out he was his father.

Seeing that Harry was on the verge of tears, and having never witnessed him in that state before, even after Sirius fell through the veil, Ron and Hermione looked at each other uncomfortably. For Harry to share as much as he did and show that much emotion in front of them, they knew how wrong they both were in their assumptions and realized their huge mistake.

"He loves me," Harry continued, his voice hoarse, while looking off to the side of the sofa Ron and Hermione were seated upon. "For the first time in my life that I can remember, someone said they love me." He swiped at his eyes. "And I love him," he choked out. Feeling a hand gently placed on his shoulder and knowing immediately who it belonged to, Harry quickly turned around and rested his forehead against Severus chest and dropped his arms to his side. He did not care that Ron and Hermione were in the room with him. He felt too upset and hurt with them to even care. He closed his eyes as Severus put a hand on the back of his head.

~SH~

Severus, who had been listening to the conversation from Minerva's living room, knew it was time to enter the room, if only for Harry's sake. The yelling was expected, though he was surprised it wasn't Weasley doing the yelling. But when Harry started discussing his life with the Dursley's, some of which he hadn't known about, and then moved on to what he, Severus, had done for him, he knew Harry was near his breaking point. He could hear it in his son's voice.

Walking into the office, he ignored the looks of surprise from the two Gryffindors seated on the sofa and put a hand on Harry's shoulder. As Harry quickly turned around, he could see the anguish on his face, and it about killed him. After putting a comforting hand on the back of Harry's head, he raised his eyes and glared at Ron and Hermione with a scowl on his face. "I never would have thought you two could do any more damage to your friend than you already have. But I stand corrected."

Frozen in place from shock, Ron stared dumbly at the potions master and Harry. It was extremely unsettling to see the greasy bat of the dungeons, a man who had no feelings what so ever, act so caring and protective towards Harry.

Hermione, on the other hand, looked at Harry sadly knowing she was hurting him, but still feeling justified in her accusations. "I'm sorry, Harry," she whispered. "I just didn't think…"

"No, Ms. Granger," Severus interrupted. "You did not think. It is a shame."

Snapping her mouth shut, Hermione's eyes traveled to Harry. She slowly got up and started to make her way over to him.

"Sit back down, Granger, and be quiet." He looked from Granger to Weasley. "Both of you." Seeing that Hermione was complying, Severus placed his hands on Harry's shoulders and pulled back to look at him. He bent down so they were eye level, and was glad to see that the boy hadn't broken down. "Are you okay?" he whispered, so only Harry could hear him.

Slightly embarrassed, Harry gave a small nod and looked up to Severus. "Yeah."

Severus led the boy to the chairs in front of Professor McGonagall's desk and had him sit down. He turned his attention to the sofa and looked each Gryffindor in the eye, his displeasure showing clearly on his face. "I trust you to be discreet about this new information regarding Harry and myself. Do I need to tell you the consequences should this get out?"

Though not knowing which consequences the professor was speaking about; what the professor would do to Hermione and him should word get out or what would happen to Harry and the professor if word got out, Ron shook his head, not daring to speak. He knew either one wouldn't be pleasant.

"Of course not professor," Hermione answered. "Ron and I both know what it could mean."

Severus looked intently at both Ron and Hermione. "Good." He walked closer to the bookcase and faced the sofa. "Now on to another topic, though just as important. Privacy." Severus crossed his arms over his chest.

Ron finally found his voice. "We know what privacy is, professor."

"You do?" Harry questioned from his chair.

"Of course we do," Hermione answered.

"Oh really?" Harry raised an eyebrow, resembling Severus. "Could have fooled me."

Ron spoke this time. "We do know what it means Harry."

"Yeah? Then why did you go through my things this morning?" Harry questioned, forgetting that his father was even in the room, along with Ron and Hermione.

"You told me to!"

"I _told_ you that you could get out my notebook!" Harry shouted. "What gave you the right to go through the rest of my bag and look through the album?"

"You showed us the photo album Hagrid gave you the end of first year. How were we to know this album was any different?" Ron's voice had risen in volume when he finished.

"Do you realize what you just said Ron? Do you understand those first three words you spoke? _You. Showed. Us._ Not 'I went through your stuff.'" Harry huffed, getting angry again. "I don't know what is worse anymore." He looked between Hermione and Ron. "Your lack of respect for my privacy or your conclusions and accusations. I don't think I can trust you two anymore." Not wanting to deal with his two so-called friends anymore, he turned his chair around to face the professor's desk. Biting his lower lip, he crossed his arms on the desktop and rested his chin on top of his arms, fighting to stay in control of his emotions. He felt like everything inside him was shattering.

Hermione looked stricken. But before she could utter a single word, Severus finally spoke, causing her to jump. "Fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor."

"What?" Ron yelled outraged. "That is so unfair!"

Severus narrowed his eyes and glared coldly at Ron. "You, Mr. Weasley, are trying my patience. Be quiet before I take any more points." Severus smirked as the red-head clamped his mouth shut. "Your ignorance has already hurt one person." He paused and glanced at Harry. "And this ignorance could have had serious implications to both parties involved."

His thoughts immediately went to what it would have meant if Granger took her accusations to someone else. Someone like the Headmaster. The man already did not want them to be father and son. If Granger went to him, no doubt Dumbledore would have done something drastic. Maybe even go so far as reporting him to the Ministry. If that happened, he would have been out of Hogwarts before the day was complete. He could only imagine what this would have done to Harry.

Still looking at Harry, and observing how miserable he already looked, Severus voiced what had been in his mind. "More than I think your little minds could comprehend." He then turned his gaze back to the sofa. "As an antidote to your ignorance, I am assigning you both three foot essays on what privacy means. This essay will require you to give examples of how you can respect someone's privacy and what could happen if you do not. You will describe, in detail, what it means to all parties involved if someone's privacy is invaded. I want it on my desk before classes start on Wednesday morning."

Ron, with the thought of more points being deducted hanging over his head, bit his tongue and said nothing. Hermione, though not liking getting a detention of sorts, smiled. She always loved writing and doing extra work.

Severus' eyes darted from one Gryffindor to the next, disgusted with the both of them. "You are dismissed."

Ron got up and headed for the door, wanting to get out of the professor's presence as quickly as possible. He was out the office within thirty seconds.

Hermione stood up and began walking over to Harry. "Harry, I…"

"I said," Severus growled, in a quiet deadly voice, "you are dismissed."

"Yes sir," Hermione replied, looking at the angry scowl plastered on the professor's face. She then looked to Harry. "I'll see you in the common room, Harry." Without waiting for a reply, she scurried out of the office and met up with Ron on the other side of the door.

Once the two Gryffindors were gone, Severus turned his attention back to Harry and took a few moments to observe him. He was a mixture of emotions with none taking more precedence over the other. Harry was obviously trying to hide what he was current feeling. Severus knew immediately that he couldn't even imagine what Harry had to be feeling.

The boy's two friends first went through his belongings and when they confronted him about what they found, they didn't believe a word he told them. Then those same friends came up with wild accusations. And to make it worse, Harry laid everything on the line and bared some things he more than likely wanted to keep to himself, only to have his friends still not believe him.

Severus did not want Harry in Gryffindor tower tonight. His son had been through enough for one day and it was time to take him home. "You may come out now Minerva," Severus said loud enough for the professor to hear in her quarters.

Eyes widening, Harry quickly lifted his head up. His Transfiguration professor walked into the office, her mouth a thin line. It was obvious she had heard everything that had been said these past few minutes. Harry gulped and sat up straight. She did not look happy.

"Thank you for handling this, Severus," Minerva stated as she went to her desk and sat down. "I sincerely hope those two learned their lesson." She then looked to Harry. "I am sorry you had to go through that, Harry."

Harry, not quite sure what Professor McGonagall was talking about, kept quiet.

"Harry will be returning with me to our quarters tonight," Severus said, while walking to the desk.

Minerva nodded, and after looking at Harry, expected no less.

Severus placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Come along Harry."

Harry slowly raised his eyes and looked at Severus, feeling numb and slightly hollow. He didn't say a word as Severus led him down to their quarters, through the secret passage way, but was grateful for the reassuring hand on his shoulder the entire way.

After entering, Severus led Harry to the sofa and then went to the kitchen to make some tea and hot chocolate. He came back to the living room a few minutes later with two mugs in hand. He handed Harry the hot chocolate and sat down next to him with his own mug of tea in hand. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Harry looked into his mug of hot chocolate and watched the steam rise in swirls. He shook his head in the negative in response to Severus' question. Talking was the last thing he wanted to do. He knew the moment he was to open his mouth he wouldn't be able to hold himself together and would more than likely dissolve into tears.

"You have the right to feel upset and angry with your friends, Harry. It is understandable. They have not been acting like friends."

Thoughts of what transpired during the day took over Harry's mind at those words. He still didn't understand why Ron and Hermione, his first ever friends, were doing this to him. As his breaths became quicker and shallower the more he thought about it, Harry knew he had to leave. He couldn't keep up the façade much longer. It was stupid, really, but Harry did not want his father to know how much pain he was in because of his friends. He took a sip of the hot chocolate and set the mug on the coffee table. He stood up a minute later. "I'm going to my room," he stated quietly, the words coming out strangled, then left Severus sitting on the sofa looking after him in concern.

Severus was tempted to go after Harry, the boy was so miserable, but he refrained. It was obvious Harry wanted to be alone.

A few hours later and slightly worried, as he hadn't seen or heard Harry, Severus decided to check on him. He quietly opened the door to Harry's bedroom and walked a few steps inside. Harry was lying on top of the bed, still in the clothes he was wearing earlier, curled into a ball asleep. The lamp on the night table was on. He walked to the bed and his heart clenched when he was close enough to see Harry's face. There were dried tear tracks on Harry's cheeks and his eyes looked like they were slightly swollen. If only those two idiot Gryffindors could only see what they were doing to their friend.

Closing his eyes briefly and letting out a deep breath, Severus removed his wand and transfigured Harry's clothes into his pajamas. Then he gently removed the blankets from under Harry and draped them over him, tucking them in around his shoulders. Before he knew what he was doing, he leaned over and kissed Harry's forehead. Straightening up moments later, he ran a hand through Harry's hair. "I'm sorry you have to go through this," he whispered. "Goodnight Harry." He ran his hand through Harry's hair one more time, then flicked off the light and returned to the living room. It was still a bit too early to retire for the evening.

~SH~

Lying on his stomach, with his arms crossed under his pillow, Harry's eyes fluttered open. After blinking a few times, he swept his eyes around his bedroom. The sun was just beginning to rise. After falling asleep so early the night before, it was no wonder he was awake just before dawn.

He slowly turned over on his back with a yawn and burrowed under his blankets, pulling them up to his chin. He was just thinking about how much he wanted to spend the entire day in bed when he heard his doorknob turn and the door slowly creak open.

"Harry?" Severus called from the doorway once the door was open. He wasn't sure if Harry would be awake, but knowing how early he found him asleep last night, he had a hunch the boy would be awake.

"Yeah?" Harry replied, his voice somewhat gravely from sleep and lack of use. He scooted up so he was sitting against the headboard.

"Good morning," Severus said as he walked into the room and uncharacteristically sat down on the side of Harry's bed. "Do you feel any better?"

Harry looked down under Severus' scrutinizing gaze, hoping that his father wasn't able to tell he had cried last night. But as he realized he was wearing his pajamas and he didn't remember putting them on, he knew his father was aware. His face became warm in embarrassment.

When Harry had yet to answer, Severus said Harry's name again. "Harry?"

Harry looked back to Severus and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I guess so."

Severus studied Harry quietly for a minute, a finger on his lips. "Would you prefer to have breakfast down here this morning or up in the Great…"

"Down here," Harry replied, cutting off Severus before he could finish his question.

"I know this must be terribly painful for you Harry," Severus placed a hand on top of Harry's that was still clutching his blankets, "but as long as you know the truth, that is all that matters."

Harry nodded, feeling his throat beginning to clog up.

Severus squeezed Harry's hand. "Go take a shower and get dressed. I made sure you always have two sets of school clothes and robes in your closet. By the time you're done, breakfast will be ready." He stood up and walked to the door. When he noticed Harry was still in bed, he turned around. "Get into that shower," he teased lightly.

~SH~

Severus glanced at the clock in the kitchen for the third time in five minutes. It had been at least ten minutes since he heard the water shut off in the bathroom and thirty-five minutes since he had left Harry in his room. Worried, he headed to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "Harry?" When there was no reply, Severus quickly checked Harry's bedroom. Finding it empty, he walked back to the bathroom door and knocked again. "Harry. Harry, are you all right?"

A few seconds later, Harry's strangled reply came from behind the door. "No." Harry hadn't meant to say it, but the word left his mouth before he could stop himself. He dropped onto the closed toilet seat and put his head in his hands. During his shower, he couldn't stop the conversations he'd had with his father and Ron and Hermione from playing over and over in his head. And as he finished getting dressed, everything he felt had come bubbling up to the surface just as it did last night.

At Harry's reply, Severus quickly opened the door and spotted Harry sitting on top of the toilet. "Harry?"

Harry lifted his head and looked at Severus through bright eyes. "Dad." He got up quickly and threw himself at Severus.

Severus wrapped his arms tightly around Harry. He knew Harry wasn't feeling any better when he asked earlier.

"Why do they have to treat me like this?" Harry asked, his voice muffled since it was pressed into Severus' chest. He sniffled. "It hurts."

When Harry gave another sniffle, Severus' heart constricted. "Oh Harry," he whispered, and tightened his hold. If it were possible, he would gladly take away all of Harry's hurts in an instant. "Don't let Weasley and Granger's behavior get the better of you. It will all blow over eventually. Those two dunderheads will soon realize how stupid their accusations and behavior were to you. Why don't you spend time with Lovegood and Longbottom. You've seemed a little happier lately when you've been with both of them."

Harry knew his father was right, on all of it. It helped tremendously just to hear him say it though. He nodded in understanding.

After feeling Harry nod against his chest, he gave him a squeeze and pulled back. Harry looked up at him with a few tears escaping down his cheeks. Severus brushed them away with his thumb. "You will be fine." Severus wished he could have said more, but he hadn't any idea what to say to make Harry feel any better in this type of situation.

"I know," Harry replied, then sniffled again.

Severus withdrew a handkerchief from his trouser pocket and handed it to Harry, who took it and wiped at his eyes and nose. "How about some breakfast? I want to make sure you eat before you head to your classes." He put a warm hand on the back of Harry's neck and steered him into the kitchen. "You have just enough time to eat and get your books from your tower before class starts."

Harry glanced at the food on the table as he sat down. Spotting the warm oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins, Harry was glad his father knew him so well. With the way he was feeling, he would have had a hard time eating anything but this. He looked up and gave his father a smile, already feeling better.

* * *

_Ugh! I don't know how I feel about this chapter. It was one of my more difficult chapters to write, but I do think it's a bit better now than it would have been had I posted it yesterday like I intended. For once, thank you for not working properly and letting me sign in. LOL_

_I hope this chapter was worth the wait. If not...I'm sorry. I'll try better next time. :)_

_Thank you all who've left reviews and added me or my story as an alert.  
_


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

Harry entered the Great Hall for lunch Monday with a bit of trepidation. It would be the first time since the awful meeting the night before that he had the possibility of talking with Hermione and Ron. For all his classes that morning he had entered just a few seconds before they were to start so he could avoid the two. Now, however, it more than likely wouldn't be possible. With a sigh, he walked down the Gryffindor table and took a seat at the far end, close to the staff table.

In the middle of pouring himself a second glass of pumpkin juice a bit later, Harry felt a presence behind him. He closed his eyes briefly, set the pitcher on the table and turned around. Hermione was standing by herself biting her lips. Seeing her, his hands clenched in anger, ready for another argument.

"Harry," Hermione began, "I know you're upset with Ron and me. Last night after completing the essay that Professor Snape set, we both talked about what we did. We know that what we did was wrong."

"Glad you think so," Harry interrupted, sarcastically, ready to turn back around.

Hermione looked down. She knew Harry had every right to be angry with her, but it still hurt. "I wish Ron and I could undo what we did, but I know it's not possible. We're both very sorry and…" She stopped to swallow thickly. "…and with everything that we've done to you over the past few months, particularly yesterday, we understand if you never want anything to do with us. But, if you decide you still want to have us as your friends, just know that we will give you some space and leave you alone for a while."

"I don't know if I can ever trust you two again," Harry replied sharply. "I don't want to write both of you off, but right now it would be best if you left me alone."

"We can do that," Hermione said quietly. "You can come to us if and when you're ready." She looked at Harry for a few seconds. It was obvious he was still angry. She could see it in his expression and posture. But she could also see a hint of disappointment. "I'm sorry," she whispered sadly, then quickly walked away.

Harry watched her leave, meeting up with Ron farther up the table, then turned back to his lunch. He suddenly felt a little lighter now knowing he didn't have to go out of his way to ignore his friends anymore. He only hoped the two did as promised. For once.

~SH~

Having just completed his Herbology homework, Harry looked at the clock in the common room. Dinner would be starting in ten minutes. After the day he had, and with the short conversation with Hermione at lunch, Harry really wanted to speak with his father after dinner. He knew the man had some Head of House responsibilities that evening and, if he remembered correctly, he had to patrol the castle corridors as well. However, he wasn't sure what time any of those started.

After putting his Herbology homework in his book bag, he ran up the stairs and dropped the bag on his bed. He then headed down to the Great Hall. He thought it best if he got there at the start of the meal so he could have time to eat and then follow his father out when the man himself finished and left.

The Great Hall was practically empty when Harry arrived, so he took a seat halfway down and on the side of the table that would allow him a view of the staff table. While sitting down, he noticed that his father had yet to arrive. Somewhat glad, so he wouldn't have to scarf down his dinner, he put a little helping of everything from the platters and bowls in front of him on to his plate and began to eat.

"Hi Harry," Neville said as he walked up to the Gryffindor table a few minutes later. "Do you mind if I join you?"

Harry swallowed the food in his mouth and looked up to Neville. The boy looked slightly uncomfortable, and he knew why. "Not at all." He waited until Neville sat down and served himself before he began talking again. "I actually wanted to talk with you since this morning."

"You did?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't meet with you last night to work on our homework like I said I would. Something came up. Something I couldn't get out of."

"I know," Neville said in response, though he wasn't sure if that was the whole truth. " When you never showed, I asked Ron if he knew where you were. He told me that you, along with Hermione and him, had a meeting with Professor Snape." Neville stabbed a roasted potato with his fork and popped it into his mouth.

Mouth opened in shock and anger, Harry dropped his gaze to the table. The only sound he heard for a few moments was the blood rushing in his ears. Even after the conversation last night, Ron still invaded his privacy, so to speak, and told Neville what was going on? He couldn't trust at least _one_ of his friends at all.

Not noticing Harry's distress, Neville continued. "Ron told me that Snape made him and Hermione write an essay as punishment." Neville shuddered at the thought. "He wouldn't tell me what the essay was about or the reason for it though," he added quietly.

Harry snapped his eyes up. Ron didn't tell him what the essay was about? Did that mean that Ron actually _hadn't_ told Neville what the meeting was about?

"He didn't mention if you had to write an essay as well," Neville continued. "What did Snape make you do?"

At the man's name, and before responding, Harry quickly glanced up at the staff table. His father still hadn't arrived. He looked back at Neville. "Um…Snape didn't have me do anything," he answered.

Neville dropped his empty fork in surprise, the rattling of silver against china loud in the still somewhat empty room. After looking around, hoping no one really noticed, he then immediately picked the fork back up again. "He…he didn't? Not even taking away points?"

Harry shook his head. "Nope. He just wanted to talk with me after he dismissed Ron and Hermione."

"You've got to be joking!"

"Guess he was having an off day," Harry replied lightly.

"Wow. I'm glad for you. But it sure doesn't make up for all the things he's done to you unfairly in the past."

Harry gave Neville a smile. "Yeah."

Neville then looked at Harry seriously. "I know that whatever the meeting was about is none of my concern, Harry, but if you ever want to talk about it or anything, I'll listen."

"Thanks Neville. I truly appreciate it." And Harry really did. He knew his friend was concerned, but unlike Ron and Hermione, Neville wouldn't badger him with questions. Uncomfortable, Harry changed topics. "So, since I missed our study session last night, would you want to try for tonight? I promise I'll be there."

"Sure. I don't know about you, but I have no clue about anything our History of Magic essay is supposed to be about."

"Me neither," Harry admitted. He again looked to the staff table. No Severus yet.

Neville caught Harry's glance, as well as the one earlier, but said nothing.

Throughout dinner, even though they would be studying and working on their homework a bit later, Harry and Neville discussed their History of Magic essay. With all the talking, it took them close to an hour to finish their dinner. During that time, Harry kept sneaking glances up at the staff table. There was still no sign of Severus and it began to bother him. It wasn't like his father to miss a meal. Especially since the man always made sure he was there to be sure he, Harry, never missed a meal and was actually eating.

When an hour and fifteen minutes passed, and with the allotted time for dinner almost over, Harry couldn't take his father's absence anymore. He stood up abruptly from the table. "I've got something I need to do Neville, but I'll meet you in the library in half an hour. I promise," he added.

"No problem. I'll find us a table in the back."

"Thanks Neville. I'll see you later." Harry headed out of the Great Hall toward the secret corridor. Walking fairly quickly, he reached the door to their quarters five minutes later and out of breath. Panting slightly, he placed his hand on the door and after it opened, he quickly walked inside.

"Dad?" Harry called out while walking through the hall into the living room. "Dad?" The only answer was silence. He quickly looked in the kitchen, study, the man's bedroom, and the bathroom. There was no sign of Severus. Hoping that his father left him a note, he went to his own bedroom. A quick search revealed nothing.

Sinking into Severus' favorite chair in the living room, Harry tried to think of where the man could be. He couldn't be at a meeting since he had seen all the professors, including the Headmaster, eating at the staff table. The blood drained from his face as Harry realized where his father more than likely must be.

Without a note of any kind, the only logical place the man could have gone was a Death Eater meeting. Harry knew there wouldn't have been enough time for the man to let him know he had to leave for a while.

Knowing there wasn't anything he could do, and with his worry sinking into his stomach, Harry forced himself to go to the library and work on his History of Magic homework with Neville. It's what his father would have wanted him to do.

Though Harry had no idea what he would accomplish.

~SH~

"I said _silence_, Ms. Vane," Severus hissed loudly while slowly walking behind the back row of tables during his fourth year Gryffindor and Hufflepuff class Monday afternoon. "Five points from Gryffindor." After the talkative student turned her attention back to her own paper with her face red, Severus strode to the front of the classroom, robes billowing behind him. He sat down, and with one last glare at the class, pulled a stack of parchment in front of him.

While grading his first years' homework and listening to his current students scratching away on their written assignment, Severus' mind began to wander. His thoughts immediately went to the meeting last night in Minerva's office with Harry and his friends, and of Harry this morning before classes started.

The accusations of Granger last night affected him more than he cared to admit. Would she be the only one who would think he'd come up with the wild scenario that Harry was his son just to take the boy to the Dark Lord to meet his demise? If word got out about their new relationship, he knew that would most likely be the conclusion of many. At least he knew Harry didn't think that at all and that was all that mattered. But with Granger's insistence, would she eventually convince Harry? With how pushy he'd seen the girl in the past, he knew it could be a possibility, though very slight.

Already knowing what he needed to do, though he had been waiting until Harry got used to the idea of being father and son a little longer, Severus decided it was time to complete the final step in the plan he had created many months prior. He pulled out a blank piece of parchment from his desk and penned a note to the Headmaster stating he would be absent from the castle after his last class until at least a few hours after dinner. That being the case, he would not be able to patrol the corridors or perform his Head of House duties. He also requested the Headmaster to let his Slytherin prefects know he would be out until later in the evening. A house elf was called and the note was delivered to Albus' office moments later. Satisfied the matter was being handled, Severus turned his attention back to his grading and fourth year students.

An hour and a half later, after he finished teaching his final class, Severus quickly headed to his quarters. He hung up his teaching robes in his closet and grabbed his traveling cloak. Depending on how things went, he might catch a bite to eat outside the castle and it still was chilly in the evenings.

Cloak draped over his arm, Severus walked to the floo and was about to grab some floo powder, but stopped with his hand a few inches from the clay pot. Turning around, he quickly headed to his study, pulling his wand out on the way. Stopping in front of his desk, he undid the spells upon the bottom drawer. After pocketing his wand, he bent down, opened the drawer and pulled out a small vial containing a crimson, somewhat watery, liquid. He stood up and placed the vial in his cloak pocket. Knowing the vial was secure, as it had an unbreakable charm on it, Severus still couldn't help but be slightly nervous. He hoped the small vial would be all that was required of him. He returned to the fireplace, threw in a handful of floo powder and stepped inside, declaring his destination.

Severus arrived at the Ministry of Magic seconds later. He stepped out of the gilded fireplace, and knowing others would be flooing in behind him, began walking through the long hall. Winding through the many witches and wizards going to and fro, and ignoring everyone and everything, even the fountain and statues in the middle of the hall, Severus continued toward the far end to the security desk on the left side of the golden gates.

Unfortunately there was a small line so Severus stepped behind a young witch holding the hand of a little girl about four years old, and waited his turn. Seven minutes into his wait, the line had only shrunk by one person. There were four more in front of him. His patience was wearing thin. How long could checking in honestly take? Obviously the little girl in front of him was obviously of the same mind but was done waiting. She began to screech, yell and cry. The mother tried to shush the girl, but it was to no avail.

Taking a deep breath, Severus willed his patience to stay with him a while longer; his hand was itching to draw his wand to shut the little girl up. By the time the mother reached the desk, the girl finally quieted. Severus' patience, however, was non-existent by this time.

A few minutes later Severus finally stepped up to the security desk. Before the security wizard could even utter a word, Severus pulled out his wand and handed it over to be registered. He had been standing in line for twenty minutes and didn't want to waste any more time then was necessary at the security desk. After the man registered the wand and performed a search on Severus, he handed back his wand and a badge and gave directions on where he needed to go.

Though he abhorred the things, Severus grabbed the visitor's badge. While walking toward the golden gates, he attached it to the front of his shirt, as his traveling cloak was still draped over his arm. Luckily a lift arrived the moment he passed through the gates. With surprisingly no one around, Severus entered the lift. The grille slid closed and the lift began to move. Even though he was the only one inside, it still made a stop at every level, with only interdepartmental memos entering and exiting.

After reaching Level 5, the Department of International Magical Cooperation, Severus stepped out and headed toward the International Magical Office of Law. He was greeted by the receptionist, an overly excited young woman with extremely long lavender hair and bright grey eyes. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes at her exuberant personality, he stated his business and was asked to have a seat in one of the chairs by the door until someone was able to help him. As he sat down, he hoped everything would go according to plan and that he would be out of there within the hour.

Severus was more wrong then he could have imagined. Forty five minutes later he was still sitting waiting to be seen, which was surprising since the office looked empty. As he was about to get up and start yelling at the receptionist, she approached him and led him to an office.

Unfortunately for Severus, the receptionist was a bit of an airhead and didn't get the reason for his visit correct so he was sent to see the wrong person. He was then sent from office to office within that department, and at one time, even had to visit the Spirit Division of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures on Level 4, though he couldn't understand why. He thought the reason for his visit was fairly obvious. It was over an hour later when he finally met with the correct person.

Two hours after arriving at Level 5, Severus finally entered a lift to leave while grumbling about stupid Ministry employees and rubbing a hand over his forhead. The nightmare that was this visit was giving him a massive headache. As the lift headed to the atrium, Severus was glad he was done and wouldn't have to return to the Ministry like he thought would be required. Once the final signatures were obtained, he was given permission to mail back the half inch thick folder filled with papers clenched in his right hand. This was all due to the vial that he saw fit to bring with him.

After exiting the lift, Severus headed straight for the exit into Muggle London. Leaving the nightmare behind, he walked a few blocks to a café and stepped inside for a quiet dinner before returning to Hogwarts.

~SH~

"Excellent work everyone. Now you have all mastered Expelliarmus. You should be proud of yourselves!" Harry gave a wide smile as his defense study group participants congratulated each other with clapping and smiles of their own. "Next week we'll continue with our study of defensive spells. If there are any spells in particular you would like to work on, you may bring them up then. We are done for this evening. Good night everyone!" Harry walked to the side of the Room of Requirement and sat down next to Remus while everyone left.

After the last straggler finally left the room, Remus turned to Harry. "You should be proud of yourself as well, Harry. You did just as well. I know it's not easy to teach that many different levels at once."

Appreciative of the compliment, but still not used to receiving them, Harry ducked his head with a smile. "Thanks."

After a few seconds, Remus stood up and went to the desk the room provided at the back. He shuffled through some papers and picked one up, clearing his throat before turning to face Harry. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, especially after the success of this evening's lesson, but I'm afraid it can't be helped." Remus held out the paper for Harry.

Harry walked over to Remus, took the paper and read it over. He dropped his arm holding the paper down to his thigh and looked up to Remus in shock. "You're joking right?"

"I wish I was Harry."

"But how am I supposed…" He brought the paper back up and read it again. "There is no way this can be done by his deadline. I'm having a hard enough time as it is." Harry dropped his arm again. "Why is he doing this?"

Remus gave Harry a sympathetic look. "I wish I had an answer to give you Harry. The Headmaster evaded answering any of my questions on the matter when I asked. He just said it was required of all extra-curricular activities."

With the paper crumpling in his fist, Harry walked angrily over to his book bag on the side of the table and stuffed the offending item inside. "I thought I had no free time before," he whispered. After closing his book bag, he whipped his head up. "Hang on. How does Dumbledore even expect me to begin going more into detail about what and how I'm going to teach at every lesson? And, for that matter, why does he even want to know why I'm teaching it. Isn't it obvious? Doesn't he even realize how much time and research I'm already doing? Besides, most of these lessons are played by ear. I have a basic idea of what I may teach, but it can change the moment one of the students has a question. How am I supposedly…"

"Harry," Remus interrupted, while cleaning the desk of his items, "you do remember that teaching these lessons was not a requirement. You can stop at any time."

"No!" Harry yelled, then pulled his book bag onto his shoulder. "I like teaching. I'm having a blast. It's great to see everyone learning and succeeding at something I've taught them."

Remus just nodded at Harry. That was the way he felt almost every lesson he taught.

Harry's smile vanished as he thought back to a discussion he'd had with Severus almost a month ago. "I think…" He trailed off, not sure if he should voice his thoughts in the event they were uncalled for and because they seemed a bit personal to him.

"Yes?" Remus prompted. When Harry looked like he wasn't going to continue, he walked over to the boy.

Harry slowly looked up and met Remus' gaze. "I think I know why Dumbledore is doing this. It's because of me and my dad."

Remus sat on the edge of the table. "Now _that_ was a reason I never would have thought of. Why do you say that?"

"For some reason, he hates the idea of Professor Snape being my father. My dad even said so himself."

"Harry, the Headmaster would never stoop to that level, whether he agreed with your new relationship or not."

Harry shook his head. "I don't agree. I know what my dad said."

"You probably just interpreted Severus' words incorrectly."

Clamping his lips shut to refrain from getting into an argument with the professor, Harry turned his eyes away from the man in front of him, feeling slightly stung. Was no one to believe a word he said anymore? He hiked his book bag back up onto his shoulder, the heavy item having fallen off a few moments ago, and began walking to the exit. "Goodnight professor," he called out.

"I will see if I can talk to the Headmaster about this report Harry. I will try to get you more time to work on it or see if the report can be shortened."

Harry shrugged his shoulders and he closed the door behind him. He wasn't counting on anything being changed.

Remus was left sitting on the table staring at the closed door. He hadn't even been able to mention that the Headmaster also wanted him to begin extensive training with Harry in defense for a few hours every weekend. He would hold Harry after his class tomorrow to discuss it.

~SH~

Crouched over his trunk at the foot of his bed, Harry was throwing miscellaneous items all over the floor while searching for his old defense books. Feathers from a broken quill and empty chocolate frog wrappers were scattered around his trunk, clothes were strewn on top of his bed, and textbooks were stacked on top of each other leaning precariously to the right about to fall.

"What are you looking for Harry?" Neville questioned, coming in to their dorm room about twenty minutes after Harry had returned from teaching his defense study group.

Startled, Harry jumped slightly, the movement causing the stack of books to tumble to the ground.

"Sorry," Neville apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Harry turned around and stood up, glad for the reprieve. His leg muscles were beginning to cramp up from being in that unusual position for so long. "That's okay." He turned and glanced at the mess he made before looking back at Neville. "I was just looking for my old defense books. I need them for the report I have to write up on the study group I'm teaching."

"I saw you shove some books under your bed late last week. Maybe those are what you're looking for?" Neville helped.

Getting on his hands and knees, Harry looked under his bed and pulled out the books that were underneath. "These are them." He stood up, dropping the books on his bed, and wiped the dust off his clothes. "Thanks Neville!"

"No problem." Neville walked over to his own trunk and exchanged a few things inside his book bag. "I know you're working on your report, but would you like to join Luna and I in the library? The two of us are going to work on homework."

"Sure. Let me get my stuff together and I'll meet you there." While Neville closed his bag, nodded, and left the dorm room, Harry began cleaning up the mess he made. After getting everything he thought he'd need for his report, he headed to the library five minutes later.

Spotting Neville and Luna at a table in the back corner, he walked over to it and plunked down his book bag. After saying hi to the two, Harry pulled out the revised report outline and books and began to work on his report.

Hours later Luna and Neville left, saying it was almost curfew. Harry stayed behind, having barely put a dent into his report. He only left the library when Madam Pince shooed him out and was frustrated with how little he accomplished.

~SH~

Harry's frustration with the Headmaster grew in intensity after his Defense class on Thursday. That was when Professor Lupin made it known that he had to attend extra defense lessons for a few hours every Saturday. He now wasn't sure how he was going to attend the extra defense lessons, complete the revised study group report, and get all his homework completed on time.

So, beginning on Thursday after his last class, Harry spent all his available time in the library working on his homework and the report. After the first week of this, it became obvious that he still didn't have enough time to get everything done. Then after his next defense study group, Remus mentioned that the Headmaster wasn't satisfied with the report Harry handed in and wanted more detail.

Not wanting to give in and quit teaching, Harry began doing homework while eating and at times just skipped meals all together. Evenings were spent in the library, as he needed the books there to complete his more detailed report. He always stayed until Madam Pince kicked him out every night. When he found he was really behind, he began to skimp on sleep in order to work on his homework.

With all this work, Harry barely thought about his father, and never went down to visit with him in the dungeons.

~SH~

Wednesday, two days after his visit to the Ministry and while Harry was teaching his study group, Severus was summoned. The moment he arrived, he felt very uncomfortable. No other Death Eaters had been summoned. It was just him and the Dark Lord. Luckily it turned out to be just an informational meeting. The Dark Lord requested that he begin brewing a potion that the Death Eaters could give to Muggles, half-bloods and mudbloods that would cause their internal organs to slowly dissolve.

After returning to Hogwarts, Severus had immediately spoken with Dumbledore. It was decided that for now, he would cancel his Occlumency lessons with Harry and began working on the requested potion along with an antidote.

Severus spent that first week brewing the destructive potion when not teaching, eating meals in the Great Hall, or completing his Head of House responsibilities. The antidote was a bit of a problem and he continued to work on it whenever he had a bit of spare time.

His thoughts rarely included Harry.

~SH~

The second week of April, two weeks after the awful meeting in McGonagall's office and two weeks before the Easter break, all the professors decided to load up all the students with more homework than was the usual to prepare them for their tests before the holiday week. No student felt it more than Harry.

With his book bag full and three additional books in his arms, Harry entered the Great Hall for his study period. After arriving at an empty table, he tried to remove the books from his arms, but with the awkwardness of how he was carrying them, they fell to the table with a huge clatter. One book actually fell to the floor. He looked around sheepishly. "Sorry," he said to his nearby classmates. "I lost my grip."

"No problem Harry," Hermione said while bending down to pick up the dropped book. She was passing by when the books dropped out of Harry's arms. "Here." She held out the book.

Harry took it and looked at Hermione feeling slightly uncomfortable. This was the most they'd said to each other in two weeks. "Thanks."

Hermione looked at Harry sadly and was beginning to walk away.

"Hermione. Wait," Harry called out. When Hermione turned around, he swallowed. "Erm…you can sit here if you want." Having been without Ron and Hermione the past two weeks, Harry realized how much he wanted them back as friends. He could only hope there wouldn't be another setback to their friendship.

"I…" Hermione pushed a strand hand of hair behind her ear. "I don't know. I don't think it's…"

"Please?" Harry interrupted.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione gave a very small smile. "Okay," she replied quietly. "I'll sit on the other side." She set her things on the table and walked around to the other side of the table.

The two began working on their homework in a slightly comfortable silence, with Harry only asking for some clarification on what Professor McGonagall was requesting on her essay. Early on Harry was going to ask where Ron was, but he had spotted the redhead sitting with Ginny at the far end of the table.

Half way through the study period, Harry's stomach began to growl. Embarrassed, he looked up to see if anyone heard. Unfortunately someone had. Hermione was smirking at him. Harry hadn't even really realized he was hungry. But the more he thought about, he did skip breakfast and lunch that day. And if he really thought about it, he'd hardly eaten at all over the past few days as well. He was too intent on getting his homework completed and writing the report for the Headmaster. He might have been able to remember to eat if the Headmaster hadn't said his first report following the updated outline wasn't detailed enough. That meant he had to spend many more hours working on just that. Food was not a priority at all.

Thoughts of previous study periods and meals then came to Harry's mind. Over the past few months, he realized that his father always made sure he'd eat something at every meal. If Harry was distracted, the man would make sure there was food on Harry's plate. If he knew Harry didn't have a lot to eat during breakfast or lunch, he would always make sure he had something nutritious to eat during the study periods he'd supervise. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that hadn't been the case the last two weeks. True, it shouldn't be his father's responsibility that he eat, but still.

Harry looked up to the front of the room. Severus had just finished speaking to one of his Slytherins and was sweeping his eyes across the room. When he made eye contact with Harry, he glared. Harry dropped his eyes back to his homework with a slow swallow at the coldness in the man's eyes. It had been weeks, months maybe, since the man looked at him like that. The look almost made him think he was back during one of his first five years at Hogwarts. What happened to the neutral look he often gave Harry while in the presence of others?

Not wanting to think on it, Harry got up and grabbed a banana and poured himself a glass of pumpkin juice. Then he returned to his homework while trying to ignore the twisting knot he was beginning to feel in his stomach.

* * *

_I feel so ashamed of myself. I hadn't meant to go this long between updates. I fully blame the lack of an update on a _massive_ case of writers block and, unfortunately, having no interest in writing for about a month as well. __I'm so so sorry. I truly hope it never happens again. But rest assured, no matter how long between updates, I will never leave this story hanging. I _will_ finish it._

___I'm hoping this chapter wasn't too slow. I know for me it wasn't as exciting as I wanted it, but there was nothing for it. This chapter was required. The rest of my chapters will definitely not be as slow. I promise._

___As I realize I'm coming to an end for this story, though don't worry there will still be quite a few more chapters, I want to make sure I haven't left any holes in the story. If you see some, please let me know. Oh, and I know all of you are wondering about the memories. Harry _will_ see them, so don't worry. I haven't forgotten them.__  
_  



	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

The castle shook with a loud explosion as Severus walked through the dungeon corridors toward the Great Hall for dinner Friday night. After registering what the sound was and where it more than likely originated from, he turned around and ran to his private lab off of the potions classroom. His wand was drawn by the time he arrived at the door, which unlocked the moment he got to within two feet. Pushing it open slowly, a rush of heat passed over him. He quickly cast a bubble-head charm over himself in the event there might be noxious fumes in the room, and also cast a flame freezing charm to keep from burning up from the intense heat pouring out the door.

Not wanting any of the smoke or possible poisonous fumes to escape the lab, Severus quickly walked inside and shut the door behind him. As he took in his surroundings, the breath left his lungs. A thick dark grey smoke hovered low to the ground. Bits and pieces of the two long wooden tables he had for brewing were scattered about the floor, some on fire. The cabinet that at one point was situated against the far wall and held all his overstock and rare potions and various antidotes, not to mention the potion he had been brewing for the Dark Lord, was now in broken pieces and on fire on the opposite side of the room. Empty cauldrons and brewing instruments were strewn about like they had rained down from the sky. Sweeping his eyes across the floor, he could detect sparkling pieces of glass and liquid of various colors spotting the stones; his potions and antidotes.

Severus ran a hand through his hair in frustration and stood frozen for only a few more seconds. Not wanting any more damage to the lab, as there was already more than enough, he cast an extinguishing spell on the flames and another spell to banish the smoke and fumes. Once he felt it safe to breathe the air, he removed the bubble-head charm. Spotting a chair by the door which, surprisingly, didn't seem to have any damage, he carefully made his way to it, flipped it so it was standing the right way and sunk down into it.

His whole lab was destroyed. Years of work in the vials that lined the cabinet shelves were gone in the blink of an eye. How was he to restock everything? Some of the potions contained either very rare or expensive ingredients. It wasn't like he could brew them again in one afternoon. Some of the ingredients in those potions took years to cultivate. Now they were gone? It felt like someone had just taken his wand and would never give it back. He dropped his head into his hands.

Severus didn't know what had happened, though he knew which potion caused the explosion. As all the vials in the cabinet had been there for months, even years, except for the potion he had brewed for the Dark Lord which had only been there for a few days, it only made sense that it was this new potion that caused the explosion. As far as he knew though, all the ingredients in that potion shouldn't have produced the possibility of combustion. However, the evidence of his now ruined potion's lab told another story. Now, not only did he have to clean up, repair, and restore the lab to its original state, he also had to find out why the potion exploded and start from scratch. The Dark Lord would not be pleased with this delay, but Severus really did not want to carry around an unstable potion on him.

Running a frustrated hand through his hair again, Severus stood up and noticed some liquid on the hem of his cloak. He took out his wand and cast a cleaning charm over himself. He was about to remove his cloak and roll up his sleeves to begin sifting through the debris in the room and compile a list of all the potions and antidotes he would eventually need to replace, but knew that Albus would need to be notified of the explosion immediately. It wasn't like he was the only one to have noticed the castle shaking mere moments ago.

Locking the lab door behind him, Severus headed to the Great Hall to inform the Headmaster. Once that was done, he'd begin sorting through the wreckage. There would be no time for dinner tonight.

~SH~

Harry closed his potion's book and stuffed it into his book bag. He'd been working on his homework since his last class finished and the headache he'd had all day had grown. There was still a lot of homework to complete before his classes resumed on Monday, and also the report for his defense study group, but Harry decided to take a break. With the headache he was sporting and the fact that the words in his text were swimming in front of his eyes, he couldn't work anymore even if he wanted to.

With book bag on his shoulder, he made his way out of the library and out onto the grounds. He was about to head to the lake, but changed his mind at the last minute. Though he was now speaking with Hermione and Ron, he still wasn't all that comfortable around them and didn't want to be bothered by their presence. The two always seemed to search for him. He really wanted to be alone. He took a turn and headed to the back of the castle; to the spot he'd visited numerous times over the past month.

After arriving at his tree, as he called it, he dropped his book bag onto the ground, lay down on the grass in the shade and used his bag as a pillow. He clasped his hands over his chest and closed his eyes, hoping his headache would disappear soon. He did not want to go to the hospital wing for a headache potion. He detested that place.

Amongst the chirping of birds and the rustle of the wind in the trees, Harry thought he heard footsteps but didn't feel like opening his eyes. He received his confirmation that someone was there a few seconds later.

"Harry, are you asleep?" came the soft voice of Luna.

Though Harry didn't want to be disturbed, he answered. "No." He cracked open an eye. Luna was standing a few feet away from him with a big bag in her right hand. Neville was standing next to her. He sat up, wincing slightly as the pounding in his head intensified from the movement.

At Harry's answer both Luna and Neville sat down next to him. Luna set the bag out in front of her. "I don't know about you," Luna began, "but I get a little hungry after my final class and before dinner. Neville and I were helping Professor Sprout in the greenhouses when he heard my stomach growl."

"I figured that was the sign that it was time for a snack," Neville laughed. "I suggested we visit the kitchens and get something to eat." Neville then looked at Luna. "And since we both know you haven't really eaten today, we decided to get enough for the three of us."

Harry looked between the two, unsure about what he was currently feeling at their statement. "Er…thanks for thinking of me."

"That's what friends do," Luna responded while opening the bag and pulling out some fruit, plates of various sweets, a container of pumpkin juice and three glasses, and some napkins. She set them on the blanket Neville spread out on the grass; an item the house elves provided them with when they asked for some food.

"How did you know where I was?" Harry asked as he picked up an apple. His friends were right. He hadn't really eaten a proper meal in days…maybe even a week or so. This was a welcomed snack. However, it brought back thoughts of how his father hadn't been making sure he was eating like he used to in prior months.

"You're always in the library," Neville answered. "So after we got the food, we checked there. When we didn't find you, we knew you'd more than likely be outside. But I checked the common room and dorm too just to be sure." He set out the three glasses and filled them with pumpkin juice.

"But how did you know I'd be here?" Harry knew no one really came to this side of the castle grounds.

Luna smiled at Harry. "I just had a feeling you'd be here. I found you here once before and knew you'd probably come back."

"Thanks you two." Harry smiled at the two then munched on his apple.

The next hour was spent with the three eating and taking about nothing and everything. At one point they were discussing what their plans were for the Easter break. With the way things were in the wizarding world, Both Neville and Luna were returning home for the week. Harry began wondering what he was going to do. He wasn't sure if his father was staying in the castle or was going home for the week. In the past, Harry recalled seeing the professor at meals during that break. But what would he do now that things had changed? The thought that maybe they would go home for the week excited him greatly. He would speak with his father tonight.

~SH~

Harry wandered down the corridors to the dungeons Friday night completely unaware of his surroundings. He was too excited at the prospect of maybe going home for the Easter break and also angry with Hermione. While in the Great Hall for dinner, he wasn't eating but was working on his report. She told him he shouldn't be spending so much time on the report and that if it took up all his time to do that and homework and his health was being ignored, he should quit teaching the group. They argued for ten minutes before Harry had enough and left, angry with Hermione.

"All alone again are we Potter?" drawled a voice from behind Harry. "You seem to be alone quite often."

Harry stopped walking and turned around. He was met with the sight of a smug looking Draco Malfoy. "Shove off Malfoy," he replied.

Draco sauntered a little closer to Harry. "What's the matter? You're friends don't want to be seen with you?" He stopped about ten feet away one hand in his pocket. "I don't blame them. I wouldn't want to hang around with you either. It seems no one does actually. I've noticed Weasley and Granger haven't been with you as much as before. You've been reduced to scraping the bottom of the barrel haven't you. Looney Lovegood and Longbottom? The poor Boy-Who-Lived. He has no friends. Pathetic." Draco started laughing.

Harry, getting angry by Draco's taunting, reached into his pocket and gripped his wand tightly. Malfoy had no right to speak about his friends, whether they were on speaking terms or not, or of him.

Draco continued. "I'm surprised it took them five years to see the kind of person you are. I knew the second you denied my friendship on the Hogwarts Express first year." Malfoy walked a few feet closer to Harry. "I've also noticed you changed your appearance. Still didn't help you get any friends now did it?"

"Shut up," Harry replied through clenched teeth. He was doing all he could to not lash out at Malfoy.

"Why should I? I'm only pointing out what is obvious to everyone. Besides, you get people killed Potter. Who would want to hang around with a person like that?"

At those words, Harry saw red. He finally had enough of Malfoy putting him down. Just how many years was one supposed to take it? Without any conscious thought of what he was doing, he pulled his hand out of his pocket and pointed his wand at the blond Slytherin. "Sectum…"

Harry was interrupted by an icy voice off to his side. "Mr. Potter."

Recognizing the voice, Harry froze, wand still pointed at Draco.

Severus revealed himself from the corridor on the left side of Harry and walked to stand off to the side of the two boys. Having just filled Albus in on the destruction of his lab and of the potion for the Dark Lord, this was the last thing he wanted to encounter tonight. All he wanted to do was go back to his lab and start repairing it. His eyes traveled to Draco. "Mr. Malfoy, return to your common room. I will be there shortly."

Still frozen in place and daring not to look at the professor, Harry watched Draco turn away and walk through the corridor and around a corner out of sight.

Severus turned his attention to Harry, looking livid. "Lower your wand Mr. Potter."

Knowing not to argue at the moment, Harry put his wand back in his pocket. He immediately felt the professor's hand clamp down painfully on his shoulder, pushing him forward. As they walked, feelings of dread crept into the pit of Harry's stomach. No matter which way he looked at it, nothing good could come out of this situation. Especially since he was the only one with a wand drawn.

Harry was slightly confused when they reached the door to the man's office minutes later. He had thought they would go to their quarters, not his father's office.

Tearing Harry out of his thoughts, Severus yanked open the door and roughly pushed Harry inside, causing Harry to trip and almost fall to the ground. He slammed the door behind them and cast a silencing spell on it. Wand still in hand, he rounded on Harry, his eyes blazing. "What the bloody hell do you think you were doing?" he asked in a deathly quiet voice. "How many times must you be told by your Head of House and me to leave Mr. Malfoy alone?" He stood up straight and pointed to the empty chair facing his desk. "Sit," he ordered.

Slightly terrified, as he hadn't seen Severus look so angry in a while and at the fact that he still had his wand in his hand, Harry rushed around Severus and quickly sat down. His eyes followed the irate man as he came to stand behind his desk. The anger was flowing off of him in palpable waves. Harry gulped. He then decided to tell his side of the story before his father began speaking. "But Malfoy, he…"

"Silence, Mr. Potter." Severus' voice was like ice.

At the way Severus addressed him, a knot began to form in the pit of Harry's stomach. This was almost reminiscent to the last time the man found him and Draco with wands drawn.

With eyes narrowing, Severus put his wand away and placed his hands on the top of the desk. He leaned towards Harry. "I do not want to hear any of your excuses. You should…"

"When have you ever wanted to hear anything I say," Harry muttered under his breath, remembering the last time his father didn't seem to want to hear his side of the story. He looked anywhere but at the man towering over him. His eyes finally focused on the desk in front of him.

Severus stopped what he was about to say. He straightened up slightly at the comment but didn't reply. He kept his hands on the desk and his eyes on Harry. "What did you think you would accomplish by hexing Mr. Malfoy, besides losing Gryffindor 50 points and earning yourself detention all next week?"

Though he wanted to scream at the professor that Malfoy deserved to be hexed after the things he said and had done to him over the years, Harry stayed silent and continued to stare at the desk.

"And speaking of hexes, which spell were you going to use on Mr. Malfoy?" Severus had an idea which spell it was, but he needed confirmation.

Harry kept silent, jaw set.

"Answer me Mr. Potter," he said threateningly.

"Sectumsempra," he finally replied, still staring at the desk.

Severus' breath caught in his throat, even though he knew that was the spell the brat was saying. "Where did you learn that spell?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders in response. Why did it matter where he learned the spell? A spell was a spell. No big deal.

"You are on very thin ice Mr. Potter. Where. Did. You. Learn. That. Spell?"

"A book. Where else?" Harry answered sarcastically.

"Would you like to earn another week's worth of detention Potter?" Severus was beginning to lose his patience with the boy in front of him. Not that he had much patience to begin with.

"Fine. I saw it written at the bottom of the potions book I borrowed in class a few weeks ago. There were other spells written there too," he added, though he wasn't sure why he mentioned them.

Severus stood up and quickly rounded on Harry, his face only inches away. "You were about to cast a spell someone had written in a potions book? Did you have any idea what the spell would do?"

Harry shook his head no. "The person only wrote down the name of the spell and the wand movement."

"So you decided to cast a charm not knowing what the consequences could be?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders again.

"That is not an answer, Potter."

Fed up with being called Potter, Harry lifted his chin slightly and looked his father in the eyes. "Stop calling me that."

"That is your name."

At the response and coldness in the man's eyes, Harry scooted back in his chair and stood up. "Where and when do I report for my detention, sir?" he asked before heading to the door.

"You will meet with Mr. Filch at the entrance to the trophy room 7pm Monday. He will be overseeing your detentions all week."

"But I can't meet on Wednesday," Harry began. "You know I have the defense study group. And I don't want to report to Filch. I want you to…"

"I do not care what you want, Potter," Severus spat. "Haven't you gotten it through that thick little brain of yours yet?"

Harry stood rooted on the spot, blood draining down to his feet. He didn't know what was going on with the man, but it was scaring him.

"You are to relinquish your wand to Professor McGonagall by curfew tonight. You will only be allowed to use it during classes. The Headmaster will also be notified. Now get out of my sight!" Severus yelled when Harry continued to just stand there.

Harry gave a pain-filled look to Severus, turned around and fled the office. He ran to his dorm room, grabbed his invisibility cloak and left the Gryffindor common room. He wasn't sure where he was going to go, but he really wanted to be alone this time.

~SH~

After Harry left his office, Severus stormed to his desk, sat down and roughly opened one of the drawers. He pulled out a folder with disciplinary action forms and began to fill one out. It seemed only last week he had to fill one of these out. Once it was completed, Severus left his office and went to the Slytherin common room to have a talk with Draco. He was a few feet from the entrance, but turned around abruptly and headed to the potions classroom. He needed to remove that book from his classroom. He wasn't sure how his old schoolbook ended up there, but he did not want anyone else to get a hold of it.

~SH~

Through the darkness, Harry could see a shadow coming out from behind a tree. He crouched down with wand drawn, and slowly moved to the left. Once in position, he raised his wand and began to say his spell. Before he even finished, a flash of blue light came right at him from the side. Harry swerved to his right and crouched down. Once the spell passed overhead, he sprung up to a standing position. "Expelliarmus!" he shouted. A jet of red light erupted from his wand toward the direction of the tree a hundred feet to the left of him. It missed and part of the tree exploded.

Unfortunately for Harry, that missed spell gave the first death eater his exact location. The death eater began moving forward and cast spell after spell. Harry ran, ducked behind trees and boulders, while at the same time tried to disarm his opponent and keep an eye out for the other death eater. When a ball of yellow light hurled toward him at waist level, Harry flattened himself on the dirt.

"Expelliarmus! Petrificus Totalus!" the first death eater cried.

With the first spell low to the ground, Harry scrambled up and was going to move off to one of the sides. However, he had a wall on his left and a huge tree on his right. He was trapped. He jumped up to avoid being hit by the disarming spell. As the spell rushed past him, not meeting its target, Harry breathed a sigh of relief, though short lived. The next spell was hurling toward him. Out of breath and dizzy from the exertion, he ran as fast as he could out of his trapped position. He only went as far as five feet when everything went black and he crashed face first to the ground.

"Finite Incantatum" Remus yelled as he ran to Harry. The mechanical death eaters stopped, one with its wand frozen above its head in preparation for its next spell, the howling wind ceased, and the room was returned to daylight. "Harry?" Remus called as he crouched down next to Harry. When Harry made no response, he lifted Harry into his arms and rushed him to the hospital wing.

~SH~

"Mr. Potter, what have you been doing these past few weeks?" Madam Pomfrey asked once Harry finished downing an energy restorative potion. "I have never had a student come to me with such a bad case of exhaustion."

Harry pulled the blanket on his legs up to his chest. "Nothing."

"Mmhmm." She waited until Harry finished yawning, then held out another potion for him to take; a nutrient potion. "And why haven't you been eating?"

Seeing Remus standing a few beds away, Harry began to feel slightly nervous. He looked back to the medi-witch. "I've been eating."

"Your diagnostic report tells me otherwise."

"I've just been busy. That's all. And I do eat. Sometimes."

"Hmph. Sometimes is not good enough, Mr. Potter. You should know that."

Harry dropped his head in embarrassment. It wouldn't have been so bad if Professor Lupin wasn't in the room to witness the exchange. No doubt the professor knew why he was in the condition he was. The man wasn't dumb.

"You will remain in this bed for the next two days to recover. After the two days I will perform another diagnostic. If everything comes back normal, you will be released."

Harry began to interrupt. "But…"

"Not another word, Mr. Potter." Madam Pomfrey took the vials from the table next to Harry. "You need to rest. If you need me, just call." With vials in hand, she went back to her office.

Harry sunk down into his pillow and stared at the ceiling.

Remus came over. "How are you feeling?"

Harry shrugged.

"You gave me quite a fright."

"Sorry." Harry yawned again.

"What's done is done. I'm just glad you are fine."

Closing his eyes, Harry tried to forget where he was. He hated the hospital wing. Then he opened them with a start. Didn't his father tell him he'd never have to stay in the hospital wing? That he'd always take care of him in their quarters? "Professor," Harry began quietly. "Does my dad know where I am? Could you please get him for me?"

"In my rush to get you here and to see if you were okay, I did not notify your father. Let me drop your wand off with Professor McGonagall and I'll go get him for you."

"Thanks." Harry yawned once again and closed his eyes with a smile. He'd only be here for another half hour at the max. His father would set everything straight.

~SH~

Severus just added four drops of eucalyptus oil into the cauldron in front of him when there was a knock on the door. Stirring the potion, Severus looked to the door and, thanks to the spell he placed on his lab door last night, could see that Lupin was on the other side. "Come in," he called out.

Remus entered and stood near the door.

Removing the stirrer from the potion, Severus lowered the flame under the cauldron and looked at Remus. "In case you haven't noticed, I am rather busy, Lupin. What is it that you want?" With five potions being brewed at once, he couldn't afford this distraction.

"It's about Harry." Remus moved to the long table and looked at all the potions Severus was brewing simultaneously. "He collapsed during our defense lesson in the Room of Requirement. I was putting him through a mock duel. An easy one, actually."

"And how does that affect me?" Severus asked, irritated at being interrupted. What did he care what happened during one of the werewolf's lessons. It wasn't like he went to all the other professors in the school and told them about an exploding cauldron during one of his potions classes or tutoring sessions.

Astonished at Severus' answer, Remus just stood there staring at the potions master. "Harry asked for you. Besides, don't you want to know how he's doing?"

"I could care less, Lupin," Severus spat as he quickly spun around and shut off the flame under one of the cauldrons. "I have more important things to attend to. Now, if you don't mind, I would appreciate it if you let yourself out." Severus then turned his attention to the Pepper-Up potion he was brewing when Lupin entered. He ignored Remus.

Remus couldn't believe Severus' lack of concern. There was something not right with the man. He waited another minute hoping Severus would put everything under a stasis charm, but when that didn't happen, he slowly turned around and sadly walked out, leaving Severus to his potions.

~SH~

Harry awoke to whispering voices and noticed two things wrong. First, it was night, and more importantly, he was still in the hospital wing. Slowly, he propped himself up on his elbows and searched the room for the voices.

"Ah, Harry. You're awake." Remus walked over, leaving the medi-witch, and looked sadly at Harry.

Seeing the look Remus was giving him, Harry knew something was wrong. "Where's my dad?" he blurted out. "Did you tell him what happened?"

Remus pulled a chair over and sat down next to Harry's bed. "I did tell him, Harry." He paused and looked at Harry while trying to come up with a way to tell him why Severus wasn't there. "You do know about the explosion in Severus' private lab do you not?"

"Yeah," Harry said cautiously. "Last night Professor McGonagall came to the common room and told us Gryffindors what happened. What does that…"

"Well, Severus has a lot of cleaning and brewing to do." Remus interrupted. He moved his eyes from Harry to the blanket covering him. He didn't want to see the disappointed look the boy probably had on his face.

Harry somehow knew that was just a cover. He sunk back down on the bed and rolled onto his side facing away from Remus. "I'm tired sir," he said, his voice clearly showing how dejected he felt.

"Harry, he would have come if he was able."

Harry just closed his eyes, trying to push away the anger and hurt bubbling up within him. This was just another thing added to the growing list started weeks ago, of evidence that Severus' attitude toward him was changing. His father had stopped making sure he was eating and giving him snacks, stopped sending him notes through owl post, ignored him whenever possible, looked at him with the same loathing he had the past five years, didn't want to oversee his detentions, started calling him Potter in private, and now he didn't want to see him while he was hurt or take him out of the hospital wing to their quarters.

At the boy's silence, Remus could tell Harry was hurt. However there was nothing he could do about it. Besides, it wasn't his place to do anything about it. He stood up, returned the chair, and quietly left the hospital wing.

Deep down Harry knew what all the changes meant. His first thoughts back in December were right. It was all one huge joke.

* * *

_Well, here's another chapter, but I'm extremely disappointed in myself. When I started writing this story four years ago, I told myself I would have it completed by the time the final movie was released. That obviously didn't happen. LOL Oh well. It'll get done when it gets done. _

_Thanks for all the reviews and alerts. I'm glad to see there are still quite a few people reading this after so many years!  
_


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

Lying on the bed farthest from the entrance of the hospital wing, Harry yawned and pulled the covers up to his chin as he rolled on to his side facing the wall. He had been awake for a while, but was just lying there with his eyes closed, thinking about the past day. A feeling of despair suddenly settled deep within his stomach. What kind of fool was he to honestly believe Professor Snape had been truthful to him all these months? Was he that desperate for a family that he would believe Snape was being honest with him? Harry squeezed his eyes shut tight when he realized the answer to that question was yes.

It was a joke. Just like he thought months ago. And Hermione was probably right as well. Harry dreaded the day he would have to tell his friends the truth. He just hoped Ron and Hermione wouldn't utter the words 'I told you so.' He already felt bad enough as it was.

The door to the hospital wing slowly creaked open and Harry relaxed against his pillow, pretending to be asleep. Being caught awake at this time of night would not be a good thing if he wanted to get out of the hospital wing Sunday. Thinking the visitor was there to see Madam Pomfrey, Harry was slightly surprised to hear the soft footsteps heading his way. He relaxed further into his bed and tried to even out his breathing, feigning sleep.

The footsteps arrived at his bed and stopped in front of him. He could tell whomever it was, was standing there watching him. When he felt a hand gently brush through the hair on his head a moment later, Harry did all he could not to flinch. The hand then lifted away and he felt it reappear on his left shoulder moments later and begin to shake him.

"Harry," a voice quietly called.

Recognizing the voice instantly, Harry found it extremely difficult to swallow. He slowly opened his eyes and met the worried gaze of Severus. He didn't say anything at first, just looked his father up and down. With the help of the soft moonlight drenching the hospital wing, he could see the man had on black slacks with a light green long-sleeved shirt rolled up to his elbows. There were stains on the shirt and it looked pretty worn. His hands and fingers were stained with ink and his hair was extremely disheveled. He was obviously still working in his lab.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to come sooner, Harry." Severus sat down on Harry's bed when Harry rolled over on to his back. "As you probably know, my private potions lab exploded. I've spent the last few hours cleaning, cataloging everything that was still intact, and compiling a list of potions and ingredients that need to be replaced. I also had to brew some stock for Madam Pomfrey. I needed to make sure those items were complete before I left the lab."

"I thought you didn't care about what happened to me," Harry whispered.

"That is far from the truth. I do care what happened. You were on my mind the entire time. I honestly did not expect to be occupied so long."

Harry now felt like a complete idiot. How dare he doubt his father. He should have known that there was probably a good explanation as to why he hadn't shown up at all until now.

Severus interrupted Harry's musings. "How do you feel?"

Not sure how he truly felt, and currently unable to distinguish between his physical hurt and mental hurt, Harry shrugged his shoulders in response.

"Come. I think you've spent more than enough time in this room. Let's go down to the dungeons." He stood up and pulled back the covers over Harry.

Slowly, Harry got out of the bed and followed his father down to the dungeons to his bedroom. He started falling asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

"I still have some things I need to do in the lab before I call it a night." Severus pulled the blanket over Harry. "I should be back within the next two hours. If you need me at any time until then, just say my name. I'll come immediately. Sleep well."

Harry was fast asleep before Severus even closed his bedroom door.

Hours later, Harry felt like he was being shaken awake and with his muddled, sleepy mind, could hear someone calling his name.

"Harry. Mr. Potter."

The shaking continued as Harry began to claw his way out of sleep.

"Mr. Potter," the voice called again. "Mr. Potter. I need you to wake up."

Harry snapped his eyes open then squinted. He couldn't understand why it was so light in his bedroom. It was never that bright in the dungeons. When his eyes finally adjusted, he saw two vials being thrust at him by Madam Pomfrey.

"Mr. Potter, you are way overdue on your potions. I need you to take these now."

Without questioning why the medi-witch was in his bedroom, Harry grabbed the vials and downed their contents. Taking in his surroundings, all the air left his lungs. He was in the hospital wing. He looked back to Madam Pomfrey feeling slightly numb and in shock. "What day is it?" he asked after he drank some water to rid his mouth of the awful taste of the potions. He truly hoped the answer would be that it was sometime mid-week.

"It's early Sunday morning, Mr. Potter," she replied then went back to her office.

Harry lay down and stared at the ceiling. His eyes followed a few dust motes as they danced in the air then floated out of sight. He wished he could float out of sight. After rubbing a hand over his eyes, he rolled over to his side and looked out the hospital wing windows. The early morning sky was a purplish pink, and the light gave the crisp white sheets of his bed the same color.

It was all a dream. His father retrieving him in the middle of the night was just a dream. He didn't know what he felt like doing more at that moment. Scream or cry. They both sounded equally satisfying. Instead of doing either, he closed his eyes and attempted to go back to sleep. His thoughts, however, prevented him from accomplishing that.

Yesterday, he hadn't really given thought to what Professor Lupin had told him with regards to why his father wasn't coming to the hospital wing. He had been more than hurt, and a little angry, that his father didn't take him down to their quarters or even visit him. Harry had believed that he was more important to his father than his potions. It had seemed it was that way for a while.

Then he remembered how he was treated before this past Christmas when he went to stay with Snape at his house. He was the lowest thing on the totem pole to the Dursley's; a bug to be squashed. Everything was more important than him. He shouldn't have expected Severus to be any different.

But what his father said to him in his dream came rushing to his mind. Severus had to make sure he had a few things done before he could leave his lab. That was why he, Harry, was still in the hospital wing. His father probably had to finish some important things before leaving the lab.

Harry then thought back to Friday evening and shuddered. It was a disastrous night and didn't go at all like he had hoped. Stupid Malfoy, he thought. The prat always ruined everything. "Oh," Harry said out loud while opening his eyes, as something popped into his head. The lab explosion happened just a bit before he and Malfoy met in the dungeon corridors.

Rolling onto his back in slight relief, Harry closed his eyes again. His father had other things on his mind when he caught him with his wand drawn. That had to be the reason Severus acted the way he did when he was led to the man's office and why he was talked to and looked at the way he was. Severus' mind was on something more disastrous.

Now understanding the man's situation for both encounters…or non-encounters as it were, Harry fell back asleep. He was still hurt his father hadn't checked up on him, but he could fully understand now why he was left in the hospital wing.

~SH~

Harry was finally released from the hospital wing by Madam Pomfrey on Sunday night just before curfew under the condition that he continue to rest and eat properly. Happy to be sprung, he headed up to the Gryffindor tower and went through the portrait hole. The common room was buzzing with chatter. Without being noticed, he walked up the spiral staircase to his dorm and grabbed his pajamas. Having arrived at the hospital wing yesterday morning sweaty from his mock duel, he really wanted a shower.

Returning to his dorm ten minutes later, Harry found Ron lying on top of his bed with his hands clasped over his chest. He was staring at the ceiling. "Hey Ron," he said.

Ron rolled over to face Harry. "Hiya Harry." He sat up against his headboard and rubbed at his forehead with his eyes closed. "There are times when I wish Hermione wasn't our friend. I'm tired of her nagging me about my homework all the time. She wouldn't quit tonight. The only way to make her stop was to leave the common room."

Harry put his dirty clothes on top of his trunk, laid his wet towel over the grate by the fire in the center of the room, grabbed his transfiguration text, and sat cross-legged on his bed. "Yea, I know. But studying is important Ron."

"Now don't you start as well, Harry," Ron said exasperated. "Having one friend who is a bookworm is enough."

"Sorry Ron. I'm not going nag. I know it won't do any good." Harry opened the text and flipped through to the chapter that was assigned on Friday. Having spent almost two days in the hospital wing, he was far behind in his homework.

In the quiet of the room, Ron looked over Harry carefully. "You look better mate. Where've you been since yesterday? I know you said you had that defense lesson with Professor Lupin, but that's usually over before lunch. Were you down with Snape?"

"Er…no," he responded awkwardly. "I was in the hospital wing."

"The hospital wing?" Ron repeated, slightly alarmed. "What happened?"

Harry set his text down on his lap. "Though you probably already know, I haven't been sleeping a lot or really eating lately." At Ron's nod, he continued. "Well, Professor Lupin had me try a beginner level mock duel during our lesson and I collapsed from exhaustion. Don't worry," Harry rushed before Ron could interrupt. "I'm fine now."

"I knew what you were doing wasn't good for you." Ron looked away guiltily. "I really wanted to say something, but knew you'd probably get mad if I said anything."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, "I would have been mad."

"Well, I'm glad you're better. I really hated watching you do that to yourself." Ron moved from sitting against the headboard to facing Harry and thought for a moment. "So you were in the hospital wing all day yesterday and today? You mean Snape didn't take you down to the dungeons?"

Beginning to feel slight uncomfortable, Harry shifted his eyes off Ron. He didn't want his friend to see how much this question actually bothered him. "No. He didn't even come see me," he added quietly, though unsure why.

Anger flashed in Ron's eyes. He still wasn't comfortable with Professor Snape being Harry's father, but the fact that the man didn't even go see his son after being hurt? "That git. You know…"

"He did have his lab explode," Harry interrupted. He then decided to share the conclusions he'd drawn earlier that morning while lying in the hospital wing. "He was just extremely busy with that. I think that's where some of the overstock potions for the hospital wing are located. He probably needed to brew all those as soon as possible in the event Madam Pomfrey needed them."

"But still," Ron began. "When any of us kids ever get hurt, mum and dad would stop what they're doing and take care of us. They always say their children are the most important things in their life. Everything else, no matter what it is, would come second until we are well again. Mum says that's how all parents act."

"I get that, Ron, I really do. But you just don't understand. This is different." Harry really needed to get Ron to understand the situation. "There are a lot of people that count on the potions that the professor brews. You can't expect him to stop and care for me."

Ron was getting angrier with every word Harry said, and the thoughts over his friend's relationship with Professor Snape that were floating just under the surface of his mind took over. "Yes he can, Harry! I know you probably don't want to hear this, but this shows how much you mean to the man. You obviously must not mean much if he won't even take a few minutes time and see how you're doing when you're hurt."

Harry didn't want to acknowledge those words at all. If he did, then he'd have to believe them. And he didn't want to believe them. That would mean everything was one big joke. "You're wrong."

Ron sighed and decided it was best to just let Harry figure out his relationship with the Potions Master on his own, as much as he hated it. "As much as I want to see you with a family, Harry, I don't think you should be making excuses for the professor. I'm sorry to say this, but I'm beginning to think Hermione is right. Maybe Snape's just trying to get you close so you'll trust him. Then when the time is right, he'll take you to You-Know-Who. A real father wouldn't act like he's acting right now."

"But if he's just trying to get me close to him, why has he been sort of ignoring me for the past few weeks?" Harry clamped his mouth shut the moment he realized what he just asked. "Good night," he said quickly, not wanting to see Ron's face or hear anymore from his friend. He pulled closed the red velvet curtains around his bed, tossed the textbook on to the floor, and then burrowed under his covers.

~SH~

After being dismissed at the end of their DADA class Tuesday before lunch, Harry told Ron and Hermione to go to the Great Hall without him, that he'd meet up with them in a bit. He approached the front of the classroom and stood in front of the professor's desk. "Professor Lupin, do you have a few minutes?"

Remus stopped organizing the homework he had collected and looked at Harry. The boy didn't look as happy as he had in prior months. "I have all the time you need Harry. Is something bothering you?"

"Erm…no. Not really." There was, but the problem was his to bear alone. "I just wanted to tell you that I won't be able to teach the defense study group tomorrow night. It'll have to be cancelled. That is, unless you'd like to teach it."

"Why do you need to cancel? What happened?" Remus walked around to the front of his desk and sat on the edge of it.

"I've got detention after dinner every night this week."

"What did you do to acquire a weeks' worth of detention?" Remus questioned, surprised. He sat forward slightly on the desk, arms crossed in front of his chest.

Harry really didn't want to see the disappointed look the professor would give him, but he had no choice. He had to answer. "The same thing I did to lose my wand. I was dueling in the dungeons with Malfoy."

Remus stood up, slightly taken aback. He didn't have any clue that was why Harry no longer had his wand. He was just told that Harry had to relinquish it for a few weeks. "Dueling? You should know better than to duel in this castle by now." His voice got louder and stricter as he spoke. "What were you thinking? Obviously you weren't thinking. How many times must you be told about drawing a wand outside of classes?"

"I know I'm not supposed to duel, professor," Harry huffed, angry at being scolded. "I just couldn't help it. Malfoy was asking for it."

"You need to stop acting on impulse and think first," he said sharply. "You could wind up in worse trouble then a detention." Remus walked back around his desk and sat down. "Severus sure has his work cut out for him."

At the sound of the Potions Master's name, Harry dropped his eyes and his shoulders slumped slightly. He did not want to talk about him. He was still extremely angry and upset. The man had yet to utter a word to him since Friday night; not even to see how he was feeling due to his collapse. Harry also never even got to tell him his side of the story about what happened in the dungeon corridor Friday night.

Remus noticed the change in Harry's demeanor. "Who caught you?"

Harry looked up to answer. "Professor Snape."

"So what is he having you complete for your detentions?" he asked, curious.

"I'm serving them with Filch. I asked the professor if I could serve my detentions with him, but he said no. I had to serve them with Filch. He said he didn't care what I…" Harry quickly stopped when he realized what he was about to say. He really didn't want anyone but Ron to know what was going on. And Ron, luckily, didn't know the whole situation.

Remus didn't say a word. He just studied Harry. Obviously things were not all that great between Harry and Severus. This was just more proof in addition to the conversation he'd had with the man after Harry was put in the hospital wing on Saturday. That, along with Harry not calling Severus his dad.

"So what's going to happen to the study group tomorrow night?" Harry questioned, wanting to get off the topic of the Potions Master.

Remus started putting the collected homework in his bag. "I don't think it wise to cancel the group. I will take over for you. Just be sure to give me your plans by the end of the night tonight. I'd like to see what you were planning to cover."

"Thanks professor. I guess I better go before Ron and Hermione think something happened to me." Harry turned around and headed to the door.

"If you ever want to talk, Harry, you know where to find me," Remus said to Harry's retreating back. He didn't receive a response from Harry and wasn't expecting one. He hoped that whatever was going on between Harry and Severus, Severus in particular, would end soon. The poor boy looked miserable.

~SH~

Severus was in his office grading his first years' homework, when the dark mark began to burn on his arm. He closed his eyes briefly and quickly went to his quarters to retrieve his Death Eater attire. While walking to the apparition point outside the wards of the castle, Severus' stomach began to knot. This was the second meeting in less than a week. Meetings this close together could not be good.

All too soon, Severus arrived at the apparition point. Preparing himself for the possibility of being legilimized by the Dark Lord, he quickly pushed all thoughts and memories of Harry, which could cause harm, to the back of his mind and hid them behind his Occlumency shields. Surprisingly, it didn't take as long as it used too. He found it odd, but didn't have time to think on it. Satisfied he was prepared, he then closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and apparated away.

Hours later, he staggered slowly through the grounds of Hogwarts back to the dungeons. After entering his quarters fifteen minutes later, he tossed the dreadful Death Eater robes and mask onto the couch, made a cup of tea, and sank into his favorite chair in front of the fireplace. He was drained, in pain, and extremely irritable. The Dark Lord was in a foul mood and took it out on all his followers. Luckily for Severus, he was only hit with the Cruciatus for a short period of time. It was enough, though, to cause him pain and some slight shaking, but not enough for his potion, which he didn't like to rely on.

The only good thing that came out of that meeting was the information Severus learned. He would discuss it all with the Headmaster later tonight once he felt a bit better. A conversation with the old coot was not a good idea when he was in this mood.

He took a sip of the tea he hadn't yet touched, when there was a knock on his door. Irritated at being disturbed, he stalked over to the door and yanked it open. Harry was standing on the other side. "What do you want, Potter?"

Harry took a step back at the professor's tone and looked at him in confusion. "Well…erm…I. I'm supposed to have my Occlumency lesson tonight sir," Harry responded hesitantly. "You weren't in your office. You didn't cancel it did you?"

It wasn't like Severus to forget anything and he couldn't believe that he actually forgot it was Tuesday. He glared at Harry, not wanting to deal with the dratted Occlumency lesson but knowing it was necessary, walked out of his quarters and slammed the door behind him.

Harry jumped at sound of wood hitting stone. He looked up at the professor in slight fear and in confusion. Why didn't they go into their quarters? That was where they held his Occlumency lessons as of late.

"Your lesson is not canceled Mr. Potter." Without another word, he strode to his office while trying to control the small tremors that shook his body.

Harry followed along silently. A few steps from the man's office, Harry noticed him slow down for a few seconds, then speed back up. When he was unlocking his office, Harry saw his whole body shake. It was close to what he witnessed in their quarters weeks ago when the man returned from a Death Eater meeting. "Da…sir, are you okay?"

Ignoring Harry, though the question made him all the more angry since he obviously wasn't doing a good job at hiding his condition, Severus pushed the door open with more force than necessary. It slammed against the wall and almost closed again. "Inside Potter."

With an audible gulp, Harry walked inside, pulled out a chair in front of his professor's desk and sat down. His lessons normally started out with review of what they accomplished in their previous lessons. Then they would continue on to the practical portion of the lesson. With careful eyes, Harry watched Severus close the door and approach him. The way the man was acting along with being called Potter, was beginning to scare him. It was all too reminiscent of his very first Occlumency lesson with the man in his fifth year.

"Let us begin," Severus said as he pulled his wand out and held it by his side while waiting for Harry to stand up. "Up Potter," said Severus shortly, when Harry continued to sit.

Harry slowly stood and looked Severus in the eyes. "But I…"

"Legilimens," Severus cried the second the two made eye contact.

Not prepared in the least, and too confused by what was going on, Harry could do nothing to stop Severus from running rampant through his memories with considerable force.

Five minutes later, Harry lay on his hands and knees on the stone floor shaking uncontrollably, breathing heavily, and in extreme pain.

Severus was holding on to the side of his desk to steady himself. Performing Occlumency when he was still under the effects of the Crutiatus was not a wise choice. The pain of the unforgivable was nothing compared to what he felt now. His head felt like it would explode and it was all his could do to remain standing from the pain he felt throughout his entire body. "Get out," he said in a deadly whisper.

At the tone, Harry slowly stood up, using the desk for support. He looked at Severus with hurt and disbelief clearly visible in his eyes.

"I said OUT!" Severus yelled.

Without another look to Severus, Harry fled the office as fast as he could. With tears threatening to fall, Harry ran all the way to Gryffindor tower. He was right. Professor Snape was just playing one huge joke on him.

Once the door was closed and Harry was no where in sight, Severus sank down into the chair in front of him and accio'd a pain relieving draft. Visiting the Headmaster was now pushed back even further.

* * *

_I'm sorry this chapter is so short. I really wanted to get a new chapter out there, and I felt if I didn't post this now, it would be at least another month or two before there'd be an update. Even though it's a short chapter, I hope you all enjoy._

_Like always, thanks for the reviews and alerts! Glad to see so many people still enjoying this fic._

_So, are any of you in Pottermore yet? I'm still waiting for my welcome letter. :( I hope it comes soon, but if it doesn't, at least it'll leave me more time to work on this fic. LOL  
_


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

Glancing one last time in his textbook, Harry scraped the eucalyptus bark paste into his cauldron. He then lowered the flame so the potion could simmer for the required two minutes. While waiting, he looked around at the other eleven students in his Wednesday morning Potion's class to see how far along they were.

Ron had a confusing look on his face and was glancing quickly between his textbook and his mortar and pestle. As Ron huffed and ran a hand through his hair, Harry turned his attention to Hermione. She was busy stirring her potion; a few steps behind Harry in brewing. He next looked to Ernie. He seemed to be almost at the same stage as Harry, himself. Looking across the room, Harry noticed Terry Boot had his hand raised. Harry looked up to the front of the room as Snape stood up from his desk and swept over to Terry's table. Anger and hurt bubbled up within Harry at the sight of the professor willing to help a student.

Knowing his potion was now ready to be bottled, Harry dragged his eyes away from the professor. He turned his attention to his own cauldron and turned off the fire underneath. Grabbing the ladle that lay to the right of his cauldron, he ladled his completed Pepperup Potion into two vials, as required. With the two vials in his hand, he glanced at his text and read the description of a perfectly brewed potion.

Bringing one of the vials up to eye level, he swished it around a few seconds and then looked closely at the color. His potion was perfect. Though he knew a perfectly brewed potion would now probably mean nothing to the professor, he still couldn't help but smile. All his studying over the past few weeks had definitely paid off. The potion, which was described as slightly difficult to brew, had been a piece of cake for him.

After writing his name and the name of the potion on his vials, he glanced over his shoulder. Snape was now bent over Terry's cauldron. He got up and quickly and quietly, set his two vials into the holders that were on Snape's desk. He noticed the only other two vials in the holder were Malfoy's.

Harry quickly walked back to his desk and sat down. Glancing at the clock, he still had fifteen minutes until the end of class. Deciding to get a head start on the homework Snape assigned at the beginning of class, he bent over the side of his chair and rummaged around in his bookbag for some parchment and his quill.

"Harry," Hermione urgently whispered. "Harry," she repeated.

"What?" Harry answered annoyed, sitting back up with items in hand and turned around to look at her.

"Your cauldron." She pointed to Harry's cauldron.

Harry quickly turned around and looked at his cauldron. The perfect potion he had inside minutes ago was hissing, rising up inside the cauldron and bubbling furiously. He narrowed his eyes and blinked in confusion. His potion had been perfect. What happened? He looked around and his eyes met those of Malfoy. The blond was looking at Harry with a smirk.

"It looks like it's going to explode," Hermione said.

"Well, what am I supposed to…"

"Professor," Hermione interrupted, knowing something had to be done immediately. "Professor, Snape."

Severus spun around with a glare at the Know-it-All. "What is so important that you feel the need to disrupt my class Ms. Granger?"

Hermione again pointed to Harry's cauldron, the liquid inside now seconds from spilling over. "Harry's potion, sir."

"It's always Potter," he whispered to himself. As Severus began walking towards Harry's table, the potion in Harry's cauldron exploded. The force of the explosion pushed him back a few feet, though luckily he didn't lose his footing. A few seconds later, and with a ringing in his ears, Severus whipped out his wand and banished the smoke.

The sight before him made him see red. Half of the potion ingredients that were lining the shelves next to Harry's table were laying smashed on the stone floor. The shelves and surrounding tables were covered in Harry's botched potion.

First his private lab and now his classroom?

"Is anyone hurt?" Severus questioned through clenched teeth. As everyone answered that they were not, he looked around the room. Luckily, Severus noticed, most of the students in the vicinity of Potter's table had the decency to take cover under their own tables when they realized what was about to happen. He had no need to send anyone to the hospital wing.

Severus then turned his attention to his desk. He saw only four vials sitting on top. "I will not dock points to those who have not had the chance to complete their assignment due to Potter's lack of following instruction." He turned his gaze on Potter and scowled. "You will have the opportunity to rebrew your potion during your free study period tomorrow. Class dismissed. Except for you Potter."

Harry, who had still been curled up in a protective ball under his table, slowly began to uncurl and crawl out from under his table. Before he was fully upright, he felt a looming presence over him and looked up. The happiness he felt minutes ago at brewing a perfect potion vanished instantly.

"Can't seem to stay out of trouble Potter, can you?" Severus was leaning over on Harry's table, his eyes cold and filled with loathing.

"But I didn't do it," Harry defended, standing up straight.

"You expect me to believe a word that comes out of your mouth?"

This being the first time he'd really had the chance to speak to the man in a few weeks, Harry squashed his overwhelming urge to yell. After leaving his awful Occlulmency lesson last night, he had thought long and hard over the professor's recent change in attitude toward him. He was tired of trying to guess the man's intentions and was determined to have a talk with him the next time they were alone together. And he really wanted to know what was going on next week for the week-long break. Harry desperately hoped that they could go back to the way there were just a few weeks ago. He needed to try his hardest to have a civil conversation with the man. "You used to," he stated, voice as neutral as he could make it. "You used to believe me and want to hear my side of the story."

Severus reared back, disgusted. "I have done no such thing, nor would I want to. Who in their right might would want to listen to an arrogant brat's pitiful excuses?"

Shaking with built up emotions, Harry turned around and gathered his personal items and stuffed them in his bookbag. "You did. And you _know_ I'm not arrogant or a brat either."

"You are delusional," Severus spat. His eyes wandered over to the destruction of half of his classroom. "And for your brainless display minutes ago, you have just lost 15 points and earned a detention with me in here this afternoon after classes are over. How you made it into this class is anyone's guess. Though I imagine the Headmaster had a lot to do with it. We'll see what he says tonight after I speak with him." Severus turned around and headed to his desk. "I'd make sure you have all your personal effects when you leave this classroom, Potter, if I were you. After your detention this afternoon, you more than likely will never return. I do hope that is the case, as I never want to see your face again."

"Why are you treating me like this?" Harry asked with a trembling voice.

"You should know, Potter, so stop with the dramatics and leave now!" Severus' responded, along with a pointed finger toward the classroom door.

Harry stood stock still with his fists painfully clenched and stared at the professor, his mouth slightly open. The only sound was the rushing in his ears. As much as he had wanted to believe that Snape's hatred toward him lately was part of the act they had to play in public, and why the man supposedly didn't see him over the past weekend, he just couldn't deny the truth anymore. The professor had been playing him for over four months. Snape obviously just wanted to see how much he could get him, Harry, to trust him before he hurt him.

Furious, Harry spun around and ran out of the classroom straight to the man's quarters, his only mission to retrieve any personal items he had left there. He was done with the game the professor was playing. After entering Snape's quarters, he headed immediately to the bedroom Snape made him believe was his.

He looked at the desk and saw the photo album he received at Christmas setting on top. The note Snape had given him when he'd been sick was sticking out the top. He yanked the note out and ripped it into pieces; the pieces floating slowly to the floor. He threw the album across the room which hit the lamp on the bedside table and caused it to crash to the floor. Still not feeling satisfied, he went through all the drawers in the desk, tossing everything that didn't belong to him all over the room. Any item that was truly his, and not something the professor bought, was being stacked on top of the desk. Harry moved from the desk to the night tables to the dresser to the closet doing the same thing with everything he found.

Breath coming in shaky gasps, Harry sunk down on the bed. How could he have been so stupid? What ever gave him the idea that Snape could have been sincere? How had he trusted the man with all his heart? He knew the man had never liked him. Not since the moment they laid eyes on each other his first year during the Sorting. Snape had always tried to make his life as miserable as he could. With a sad laugh, Harry realized that Snape probably met his ultimate goal now. There would be no other way that Harry could feel more miserable then he was at this moment.

Harry closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. It was all over. He had to go back to the ways things were at the start of this school term. He had to forget everything that had happened since Christmas and how he had felt through all of it. It was imperative that he forget that the man said he loved him and that he said he loved the man as well. He had been calling the man 'Dad' for Merlin's sake. But it was all just a big joke. Snape had probably been laughing every night at him over how gullible he could be.

With a crushing feeling in his heart and barely able to breathe, Harry stood up and grabbed the nearest thing to him, the other bedside lamp. With as much force as he could muster, he threw it across the room. The lamp sailed through the room out into the hall and smashed into the wall with a satisfying sound.

Needing to leave immediately, Harry quickly grabbed all his belongings from the desk and ran from the room through the main corridors. He saw no one as all the students were in the Great Hall for lunch.

~SH~

After Harry left the classroom, Severus sat at his desk and glanced at the destruction of his classroom. The only good thing he could find out of the situation was that the only ingredients that were destroyed were what his students would need to use in brewing for the week only. The rest were stored safely in the storeroom on the other side of the classroom. Not wanting to deal with the mess, as that would be Potter's detention in a few hours, Severus called a house elf and had lunch brought to him.

After the plate with a sandwich and some fruit was left on his desk, Severus decided to grade the potions that had been turned in minutes ago. He waved his wand at the holder with the four vials in it and the names of the students vanished.

He picked up the first set of vials, brought them up to eye level and swirled them around. Next he unstoppered both vials and sniffed them. As this potion was not harmful, he also performed a taste test. The potion's taste, along with its color, proved that this potion was near perfect. To be sure, he performed a few more tests. He then stoppered both vials and set them back in the holder.

From his desk, Severus retrieved one of his standard potions forms he'd created to be used on all the potions that were brewed in his classes to write all of the results of his testing. He then brought out his wand. With a nonverbal incantation, the two vials he just tested, along with the form in front of him, were linked together. He then wrote down the results of all the tests he performed and the final grade on the potion.

Setting down his wand, Severus then pulled out the other two vials and performed the same tests. This potion was absolutely perfect. As with the first set of vials, he retrieved another standard potions form and linked the form and the vials together. He then set to writing down the test results and final grade.

Once the two potions were graded, Severus waved his wand over the holder and the names of the students were revealed and transferred to the potions form. This was to ensure that Severus did not use bias in grading any potions. He would have no idea whose potion he was grading until all potions were graded.

As he couldn't recall ever seeing a perfect potion in his sixth year class so far, Severus held up the form for the second potion and read the name. _Harry Potter_. He stared dumbfounded at the name. How in Merlin's name could this potion be perfect while half of his classroom lie in ruins due to the boy's exploding cauldron? Even if his cauldron hadn't exploded, how had the brat managed to brew a perfect potion? He had never even gotten close as far as he could remember.

Setting the form back on his desk, Severus got out his grade book and looked down the list of names. After coming across Harry's name, he then brought a finger to the page and traced all the grades he had given the boy over the past year. Most of the potions Potter had completed had been almost perfect.

He closed his grade book with a snap and stared at Potter's vials. Something was definitely missing. He began searching his memory, but realized there wasn't much on Potter at all from this school year. That was extremely odd. Why would he hardly have any memories of the boy's sixth year when he'd been his teacher for over seven months? Even if he couldn't stand the boy, he still should have had more memories then he had.

Severus scratched at his left forearm while thinking. His eyes drifted down to his arm and he came to an immediate understanding. Death Eater meetings. He had to occlude the truth about the boy and plant false memories more often then he ever had to do in the past. And in having to do so more frequently, along with being tied up creating the Dark Lord's destructive potion and its antidote, and his own lab exploding, he never brought all the true memories of Potter back.

He quickly dropped his Occlumency shields. When the truth about Harry came rushing back, his breath left him and he sat frozen in his chair. How he had been treating Harry these past few weeks, from ignoring him, loathing and hating him like he did his first five years at the castle, not wanting to have anything to do with him, leaving him alone in the hospital wing this past weekend after having collapsed, to not noticing the signs he was pushing himself too much, and now knowing the truth about the boy, Severus feel extremely sick. He even thought the fact that his true memories, that still resided in the bottle in his office, had a hand in how he had treated Harry lately.

Placing his elbows on his desk, Severus buried his head in his hands. "What have I done?" he whispered. How could he have treated Harry the way he did these past few weeks? There was absolutely no excuse. NONE! He had finally gotten the boy to trust him; to call him dad. And in a few weeks time, he possibly destroyed it all. He needed to do more than apologize and make up for his bad actions, but knew that would never be enough. He had more than likely lost Harry for good.

Lifting his head, his gaze landed on the globs of potion that were still splattered around half his classroom. Even though it would mean absolutely nothing to Harry in the grand scheme of things, he could at least give back the points he had taken from the boy mere minutes ago along with canceling the uncalled for detention. The explosion was not Harry's doing.

He picked up his wand and Accio'd a small glob of the potion. He sniffed the glob and immediately vanished it. Erumpent horn was definitely not an ingredient in a Pepperup Potion. Harry's potion had been tampered with on purpose. He had an inkling of who the perpetrator was, but he had no proof. With a wave of his wand, the mess disappeared and the classroom was back to order.

With a headache beginning to blossom and being forty minutes away from teaching his next class, Severus decided to head to his quarters. He desperately needed a headache reliever and some quiet time to relax and think about what he needed to say to Harry.

After entering his quarters, Severus leaned against the door and closed his eyes for a few seconds. When the pounding in his head intensified, he pushed away from the door and headed to the restroom to get a vial of headache reliever.

The moment he entered the dark hall, he noticed something glinting on the floor. Narrowing his eyes in confusion, he walked down the hall and stopped when he came to a smashed lamp. Recognizing it as one of Harry's, he went into the boy's room but stopped dead in his tracks when he was only a few feet inside. If he hadn't known the room to be a bedroom, he wouldn't have recognized it as such.

A lamp, the twin to the one in the hall, was smashed. There were pieces of torn paper littering the floor. Sheets, clothes, and books were strewn all over the room. A book was even stuck near the high window in the room. It looked like a tornado had come through.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Harry obviously was not taking the change in attitude very well, as could be expected.

Without Severus' knowledge, Harry reentered his quarters. He'd gotten a few corridors away when he realized he'd left the photo album Hagrid had given him his first year in the bedroom. He needed to retrieve it. He quickly walked down the hall and was about to enter the bedroom when he spotted Severus already inside.

Shaking his head, Severus opened his eyes and looked around the room one more time. "I can't do this anymore," he whispered. "It's over after tonight."

Harry had been about to turn around and come back later, maybe ditching a class, to get his album when he heard Severus' whisper. It felt like a knife was slicing his heart. He had already made up his mind that the professor was playing a joke on him, but to actually hear the man say it, made it all the more real. He couldn't help it as a gasp escaped from him.

Hearing the noise, Severus quickly turned around. He was slightly surprised to see the boy there, but glad none the less. Maybe they could talk before classes were to resume. Severus looked Harry up and down them met his eyes. He saw hurt in them which instantly turned to revulsion. He opened his mouth to speak, but Harry turned around and ran out of the room. The door to his quarters slammed shut moments later.

Severus sunk down on the messy bed, atop a pile of clothes. As much as he knew he'd probably lost Harry for good, he would still keep the boy's detention that afternoon, but wouldn't hold it as a detention. He would instead spend the time having an extremely important conversation with his son.

~SH~

At the required time, Harry reluctantly walked in to the Potions Master's office, which was surprisingly left open, and stopped a few feet inside. This was the last place he actually wanted to be. He'd rather spend the time alone up in the owlry where he'd just come from. He'd been there talking to and petting Hedwig after running from the man's quarters hours earlier. He hadn't been in the mood to go to classes or back and get his album just yet.

Harry glanced around the office when he noticed Snape wasn't in the room. He immediately spotted a tray with tea and biscuits sitting in the center of the man's desk and to one side, a cardboard box and a thick manila folder.

Severus entered his office a few seconds later carrying a pensieve. He had discarded his teaching robes and was wearing just his usual black trousers and white long-sleeved shirt. "Thank you for coming," he said without a hint of any of malice that graced his voice for the past few weeks.

Having been startled, Harry jumped, but recovered quickly then glared at the man. He shuddered as he watched Snape set the pensieve on an empty counter, remembering the last encounter with a pensieve in this exact office.

"Why don't you sit down." Severus pointed to one of the chairs in front of his desk, while seating himself in the other after closing his office door.

"I think I'll stand," Harry replied coldly.

"Suit yourself." He turned slightly and poured some tea from the pot into the two waiting cups. "I feel that instead of holding this hour or so as a detention, which by the way, has been removed from the records as such, we will talk."

Talking was now the last thing Harry ever wanted to do with this man. He just wanted to get on with his life and meet his destiny. At that last word, memories of the conversation on that exact subject he'd had with the professor a month or so ago in his quarters rushed to the front of his mind.

Angry at the feelings he had at that memory and at himself for being so gullible these past few months, Harry clenched his hands into fists. "This was your cruelest joke ever, you know," he yelled. "You are one sick man. I do have one question to ask. Did you ever think I would believe you for this long?"

This wasn't quite how Severus wanted to go about the conversation, but felt that Harry needed to get what he felt off his chest.

"What kind of person could do what you have done to a child? Or even want to do that to a child? How Professor Dumbledore allowed you to be employed at a school is beyond me. Professors are not supposed to abuse the students they teach in any form be it verbal, mental or physical." Harry started pacing the room. "You claimed once that you act like you do because of events that happened over 20 years ago. Well, grow up! That is no excuse. You are more immature then all the first years combined. You can't even own up to your own actions." Harry faced Snape. "You make me sick!" he spat. He then turned and began pacing again. "How did it make you feel…to know that you were able to fool me?"

Severus realized immediately that he had to intervene in Harry's rant. He stood up and retrieved the heart-shaped bottle from the cardboard box and set it down on the desk. "There are many things I need to apologize for and explain Harry, but first…" Severus began.

Harry whirled around and faced Snape with pure loathing and hatred in his eyes. "DON'T you ever all me Harry again," he roared.

The look on Harry's face took Severus' breath away. A second later he grabbed his left forearm with a hiss. "We will continue our discussion when I return."

Knowing what was going on, Harry gave a small smile of delight at the pain the man must be in. "I never want to talk to you again. I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. You're like all the rest of them. I hate you! I hope my dream finally comes true tonight and I never have to see you again. For once I'm looking forward to seeing what Voldemort plans to do. Have fun!"

Severus looked at Harry with hurt and disbelief in his eyes. At the pure hatred in the green eyes staring back at him, Severus realized that Harry really meant what he said. He had lost his son for good. Feeling an unexpected and unfamiliar sting in his eyes, Severus quickly broke eye contact with Harry and turned toward his desk. He grabbed the manila folder off his desk and threw it in the trash bin that was setting next to the desk.

After conjuring his Death Eater attire, Severus cast a heartbreaking look at Harry, looked at the trash bin one more time, then swept out of the room.

Harry watched in glee as Snape left the office. Though as angry as he was, his mind kept going back to the last look the professor gave him. That looked had never graced anyone's face when looking at him. Curious as to what the professor threw away while he looked like that, Harry made his way to the trash bin. He pulled out the folder and opened it up. As he glanced at the first page, the smile on his face vanished and he fell into the chair behind him with a hand over his mouth. If asked, he couldn't describe at all what he was feeling.

Wanting to be sure he was reading everything correctly, he read through the contents of the folder twice more. What he was reading didn't make any sense. Not with the way the man had been treating him lately or how he talked to him.

As Harry thought more about what he was reading, his eyes drifted across Snape's desk and stopped on the small heart-shaped bottle and cardboard box at the other end. He pulled the box over to him and looked inside. The only thing inside, besides packing material, was the letter that his mother had supposedly written to Professor Snape. Glancing at the folder to his right one more time, Harry opened the envelope and re-read the letter that the professor had let him read months earlier.

Having finished that, Harry's eyes drifted to the heart-shaped bottle; Snape's supposedly true memories. But if the contents of the folder were any indication, the memories were definitely the man's _true_ memories.

With a shaky hand, Harry gently picked up the bottle and went over the pensieve Severus had placed on the counter. He hesitated for a few seconds, unsure if he wanted to see the memories, before opening the bottle and pouring the contents into the stone basin.

* * *

_I bet a lot of you are saying 'finally' with regards to the memories. :) I told you they'd be coming soon. Too bad you have to wait until the next chapter to actually see them. LOL. Actually, if I didn't mind you all waiting at least another month or so for an update, the memories might have been in this chapter. But, as I don't really have them all written, I thought it best to post what I've got done instead of making you all wait. That's why this chapter is so short...sorry about that.  
_

_As usual, thank you all so much for the reviews and alerts. I wish I could respond to all your reviews but I do try my best. I'm overwhelmed at times when I see how many people are enjoying this fic. Thanks!  
_


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

With hands clutching either side of the Pensieve and painfully biting his bottom lip, Harry stared at the silver-white memories swirling about. The situation was way too reminiscent of his fifth year. Did he want to risk getting caught again? Though if he remembered correctly, Professor Snape did say he wanted him to view his memories. It may have been months ago, but he doubted the professor would have changed his mind. Especially with the papers he just read.

Eyes moving to the professor's desk, he searched for the papers he set down mere moments ago. Making eye contact with them, he knew exactly what he had to do. After taking a giant shaky breath to steel himself, he lowered his head inside the Pensieve.

Falling headfirst through cold blackness, Harry's eyes instinctively clenched shut. After a few seconds, hard ground stopped his falling and he slowly opened his eyes. Recognizing that he was crumpled on the ground due to the falling sensation, his stood up and looked around.

He was standing in the middle of a cobbled street, with shops lining either side. Some of the shops had set their wares out for display. Though the fading evening sun drenched everything in pale oranges, blues and purples, he recognized the place immediately. Diagon Alley.

As it was early evening, some of the shopkeepers were bringing their wares inside their shops to close for the day. That, Harry guessed, more than likely accounted for the lack of wizards and witches walking about.

Hearing a door closing loudly behind him, Harry turned around. An older wizard with short gray hair was locking the door to the Apothecary and was speaking to a younger man. Thinking this was Snape, Harry walked closer to get a better look.

It was Snape. He looked to be only a few years older than Harry, himself. He was wearing black trousers and boots, with a dark blue shirt. No doubt it was long sleeved, but with the cloak he was also wearing, he wasn't able to tell. The professor's hair was almost exactly the same as it was currently; lanky and greasy though a little longer than he currently wore it.

Snape said a curt "good evening" to the older man, then turned and began to stride away, away from Harry, with his head down.

"Severus!" a young woman called from farther down the street in the direction Snape was walking.

Harry, having been staring at the professor, didn't notice the woman. Something about the voice caught his attention though, and he snapped his eyes over to her. "Mum," he whispered and quickly walked over to her. He stood there taking in every detail of her. She looked beautiful, wearing a set of light blue robes. Half of her long, thick, dark red hair was pulled back and clasped behind her head and her green eyes were sparkling. Harry couldn't take his eyes off of her.

As Lily walked toward Severus, Harry followed.

Severus stopped walking and looked up. If he felt anything at that moment, seeing his previous best friend and possibly one true love standing in front of him, Harry didn't notice. "Ms. Evans," Severus replied curtly with a nod. He then continued walking.

"Severus." Lily rushed over to Severus and grabbed his arm to stop him from walking. "Can we talk? Please?"

"We have nothing to say to each other." He roughly pulled his arm of the Lily's grasp. "You made that perfectly clear about two years ago when you stopped speaking to me."

Harry couldn't have been the only one to hear the hurt in his voice.

Severus again continued walking, with Lily trailing behind.

Having caught up, Lily looked at Severus sadly. "I know, but…," she paused and looked down for a moment. "Can you spare an hour? Why don't we have dinner together? After that…after that, if you never want anything to do with me, you can continue to ignore me like you have been these past few weeks. I'll understand."

Knowing how stubborn the professor could be, though not truly understanding the situation they were talking about, Harry tore his eyes off his mother and looked to Severus.

Severus stopped walking, turned and studied Lily for a few moments. "Fine. One hour. But not here where we can be overheard. Let's find a place outside in Muggle London."

"Thanks Sev." Lily smiled and joined Severus as he continued walking on.

As the two began to walk away, Harry rushed after them. He got a few feet in front of them, whirled around and walked backward so he could continue to stare at his mother. Seeing her like this was way different then a moving photo. He was trying his hardest to memorize everything about her from her appearance and voice, to her mannerisms and the way she held herself.

When Harry found himself in the Leaky Cauldron, he decided to follow behind his mother and professor instead. They walked out into Muggle London and down Charring Cross Road.

"Let's eat in here," Severus said, as he opened a door to a restaurant.

Lily walked in and Harry followed, but not before noticing this was the same exact restaurant the professor took him to two months prior. He swallowed thickly.

Severus walked to a table in the back of the restaurant and took the seat facing the door. Lily sat down opposite. The two remained quiet until after the waitress took their order and dropped off glasses of water.

"What did you want, Evans?" Severus asked, not hiding the irritation from his voice.

"I've been doing well since graduating Hogwarts. I'm currently training to become an Auror," Lily said somewhat sarcastically, ignoring Severus' question. "Wanting to start my own life, I moved out of my parent's house. Mum and dad weren't particularly happy when I told them I wanted to live on my own. It's like they expected me to live with them forever. I'll be nineteen in two months for Merlin's sake! Anyway, I've rented a flat outside of London. It's in Hertfordshire. Rickmansworth, actually. There's a small wizarding area there quite near Batchworth Lake" she explained. "It's nice, but gets fairly busy with the golf courses and lake sports the Muggles like so much. The flat is great, but I think I'd like to move somewhere else in the near future."

Lily paused and took a drink of water. She set the glass down, crossed her arms on the table and looked to Severus. "What about you Sev? What have you been up to in these months since graduating Hogwarts?"

"What did you want, Evans?" Severus asked again, clearly getting more irritated by the minute.

"Humor me, please?" Lily said quietly, looking slightly unhappy now.

Severus huffed and rolled his eyes. "You know what I've been doing," he replied shortly. "If I'm not mistaken, that was one of the reasons why you stopped talking to me our fifth year."

Lily grimaced. "I'm serious Severus. I've seen you coming and going from the Apothecary quite often. I highly doubt you'd need to go in there as often as that being a follower of You-Know-Who."

"If you must know, I _work_ at the Apothecary. I am working towards my potions mastery and working at the Apothecary is helping me pay for my schooling. It's also helping me get more experience."

"That is wonderful, Severus." She gave Severus a large smile. "With your talent, I know you'll have your mastery soon. So where are you living?"

Severus didn't respond. He looked towards the front of the restaurant, ignoring Lily.

"You're still there, aren't you?" Lily asked quietly. "Why haven't you left?"

After a moment, Severus turned his attention back on Lily and seemed to deflate.

It was a little unnerving for Harry to see his professor in that state.

"I currently have no other place to live," Severus responded quietly. "With my schooling, I'm only able to save a little money with each pay check from the Apothecary. I'm working on an experimental potion, though, and if it goes as planned, I can sell it. Then I'll have enough money to be out of that house by the middle of the year."

The waitress brought their food a few minutes later, and both were quiet as they began eating. After a few bites, Severus put his fork down. "What did you want Evans?"

Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them, she found Severus' and held his gaze. "I've had a lot of free time to think about things lately…mostly the past. I realize that I made many mistakes my last few years at Hogwarts. Particularly where they concerned you."

Severus nodded, but didn't say a word.

"Sev, I miss you." She looked at Severus heartbrokenly. "I miss our friendship, and what we had. You were my best friend. I shouldn't have thrown that away over one word."

"It wasn't just one word," Severus interrupted.

"I know. It was that word, your choice of friends, and your _other_ choice."

Severus' eyes quickly glanced down to his left forearm.

"Part of it was my fault. I know that if I hadn't turned my back on you, some, or even all of this wouldn't have happened."

Severus' eyes hardened. "So you're saying I'm weak," he accused.

"No, of course not. You're far from it. But I know you are not the type of person that would willfully follow someone like that. I know how you really are. I know the real you. The person you've become is not the real you."

"What do you want Evans?" Severus asked tiredly, one more time.

"I want to start over with you. I miss your friendship. I would really like you in my life as a friend, not an enemy."

"What about Potter?" he questioned in disgust.

To Harry, it sounded like the man was speaking about him. It was the same tone of voice the professor had used on him.

"What about him?" Lily questioned.

"How do you think he'll feel with his girlfriend having a friend like me?" he spat, though Harry could see the sadness in his eyes.

"I don't care what James thinks," Lily stated somewhat forcefully. "He's just my boyfriend. He doesn't own me. I am entitled to my own life and my own friends. If I want to have you as a friend, I'll have you as a friend."

"So now you'll just forget what I've become?" he asked, incredulous.

"It's not you, Severus!" Lily cried. She spent a few seconds just looking at him. "So, can we start over and be friends again?" she asked quietly, almost like she was scared of the answer.

Instead of answering however, Severus looked down and resumed eating his dinner.

Harry looked to his mother. She dropped her head, but not before Harry could see tears forming in her eyes. He did not want to see his mother like this. He turned his attention to Snape and was about to glare at him, when he noticed the expression on his face. He looked completely miserable too.

At the sound of a chair scraping against the floor, Severus and Harry looked over to Lily. "I guess I've got my answer," Lily said quietly while she stood up and left the table.

Almost at the door, Severus quickly got up and ran to her. "Lily, wait," he said breathlessly as he took her arm to stop her from leaving. "Please, sit back down."

She turned around and looked up at him. After studying him for a few seconds, she returned to their table.

Severus sat down and closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them and meeting Lily's eyes. "As much as you'd like me to, I can't change what I am or what I do," he said with certainty.

"Everyone can change Sev. They just require the desire to do so."

"It's not that simple Lily."

"We can find a way, if you want to." Lily placed a hand on Severus' arm.

Severus looked down to the hand on his arm, then looked up to Lily. His only response was a nod of his head.

Harry turned his head to his mother, but before he could even focus on her, everything became blurry and dissolved in front of his eyes. The scene re-formed around him moments later. This time he was standing inside a small cozy kitchen. By the sound of pounding on the roof and windows, he could tell there was a storm outside. He tried to glace out the kitchen window to discern where they were, but all he saw was darkness.

"Thank you for inviting me Lily." Severus took off his dripping cloak and hung it over a kitchen chair, the drops of water beginning to form puddles on the worn linoleum floor. He ran a hand over his face and sat down.

Harry brought his attention from the window to the occupants in the room. The two didn't look any older than they did in the first memory. Spotting a calendar tacked to the refrigerator opposite him and wanting to know for sure when this memory was and how old the two were, Harry walked over to it. The boxes were checked off through March 19 and looking up to the top of the calendar, he saw it was 1979. Both his mother and the professor were just over 19 years old.

"I honestly didn't think you'd come in this weather." Lily turned from the stove and brought a pot of tea to the table and set it down next to a plate of biscuits. "This should warm you up."

"Thank you," Severus said while pouring a cup of tea for Lily and himself.

Lily sat down, took a few sips of her tea and looked at Severus seriously. She bit her lip then took a deep breath. "I'm no longer seeing James."

"What?" Severus sputtered, having just taken a sip of tea. While Harry burst out laughing, Severus grabbed a napkin and wiped his mouth and table, his pale face going pink.

"I broke it off with James," Lily repeated with a smile.

"I don't…what made…why?" he stammered.

Lily looked at him pointedly. "You should know, Sev."

Severus bunched up his napkin and set it on the table. "I don't understand." Harry agreed as well. He, after all, was missing some events.

"I'm sick of his holier-than-thou attitude and he still hasn't grown up. He continues to act like he's in Hogwarts." She picked up a biscuit from the plate and took a few bites. "Besides, I don't love him anymore. Why do you think you and I have been spending so much time together these past few months?"

"I don't…."

"I love _you_, Severus."

Severus opened and closed him mouth a few times without a sound. Then he just stared at Lily. The only evidence that he didn't have a Petrificus Totalus cast on him was the shaking of one of his hands. Harry reckoned that the man was in shock. He knew he was.

Lily looked amusedly at Severus. "James is okay with it, by the way. When I told him, he said he felt that we would only ever be friends and nothing more, anyway. He was thinking of ending our relationship too."

Severus swallowed and finally spoke. "But I…"

Before Severus could finish, the scene dissolved and Harry found himself standing in a park. In the distance he saw a towering chimney and he could hear a river as well. He immediately knew where he was. This was the park by Professor Snape's home.

Glancing around Harry spotted his mother sitting on a swing a few feet in front of him. Eyes only on her, he was startled when Severus walked out of the shadows to his right. Harry was surprised as he looked the man over. He looked nice for Snape. He was wearing black trousers and boots, and a long-sleeved, button-down light blue shirt. What was most obvious though was that the man's hair, for once, wasn't greasy. And it was cut short. Wondering what was going on to make the man dress and look like that, he followed Severus over to the swings.

"What's with all the mystery with this date, Sev?" Lily asked with a smile. She stayed seated on the swing as Severus walked over to her. "And why would you ever want to return to this place?" She waved her hand in a sweeping motion with a look of slight disgust on her face.

Severus stopped in front of her. "I thought this would be the best place, especially since it's where we first met."

Lily looked at Severus in confusion for a moment, and then began to swing.

Severus walked over to the swing next to her and sat down. Hands in his lap, he just looked at her.

"So what do you have planned for this date?" Lily looked around the park. "I don't see a picnic basket so I doubt that's what we're doing here."

"I can't tell you yet," Severus answered smirking slightly. After letting Lily swing for another few minutes, he got up, grabbed the chains on Lily's swing and stopped her movement. Then he began to kneel down in front of Lily.

Harry's mouth dropped open instantly, knowing what was happening. He looked to his mother to see her reaction. She had a hand over her mouth with a shocked and elated look on her face.

"Sev," Lily whispered.

Still kneeling, Severus took both of Lily's hands in his. "Even though we were nine years old at the time, I fell in love with you the moment I first saw you swinging on this exact swing." He paused. "Lily, over these past few months I realized that I can't imagine living even another second without you. Please do me the honor of becoming my wife." He reached into a pocket and pulled out a black box. "Will you marry me?" he asked while opening the box.

Lily wiped at her eyes. "Yes Severus. I will marry you."

With a smile, Severus quickly stood up as Lily jumped out of the swing and swung her arms around him. "I love you Lily."

"I love you too," Lily said through her tears.

Severus took the ring out of the box and put it on Lily's finger. He leaned over to kiss her.

Before the two could complete the kiss, Harry found himself standing in the middle of a semi-dark room.

The flickering orange and yellow flames from a fire crackling merrily in the living room, along with the soft glow of a lamp were the only things lighting the room. Severus and Lily were sitting on the sofa, with Lily curled up against Severus' side.

Lily pulled away from Severus and looked at him. "I've been thinking. I know we had talked about staying here in my flat even after we get married in March, but I think this place is too small for us."

"Too small?" Severus questioned. "How so?"

"We need more than one bedroom."

Severus looked at Lily with confusion written on his face, which immediately turned to hurt. "Are you saying you want us to have separate bedrooms? I thought you were fine with us living together before we get married."

"I am fine with it." Lily scooted closer to Severus and kissed him on the cheek. Then she cuddled back into his side.

"Then why do you feel we need another bedroom? Are you planning on having one of your friends move in with us?"

Instead of answering, Lily took Severus' hand and placed it on her belly. "I don't think our baby would appreciate sharing a cramped bedroom with us."

Severus slowly turned his head to look at Lily. "Our…our…We're having a baby? You're pregnant?"

"Mmmhmm."

"I'm going to be a father?" Severus asked. At Lily's nod, he pulled her into an embrace. "I'm going to be a father," he whispered into the top of her head.

The scene immediately began to dissolve in front of Harry.

* * *

_I know...I know. It's been ages since I last updated. I am so so so sorry! I hadn't planned on it taking this long for a new chapter, but my muse left and it took quite a while for it to come back. I must admit, the reviews I've received recently pushed me in to getting something up. Thanks for all the reviews and alerts, by the way._

_This chapter is extremely short and I didn't end it where I initially wanted to end it, but I really wanted to post something so it doesn't seem like I abandoned my fic. There's no guarantees on how long the next chapter will be up, but now that the holidays are finally over, I should be able to get back to writing.  
_

_Hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year!  
_


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

Harry found himself in an unrecognizable room when the next memory appeared in front of his eyes. He was standing in a rather large living room. Sunlight filtering through two large windows making up one of the walls, drenched the entire room in a bright, warm light. A plush couch and chair faced a fireplace. The coffee table between them held a vase full of beautiful red roses and a pink and red heart-shaped box. It was obviously a little after Valentine's Day.

From where Harry was standing, he could see picture frames setting on top of the fireplace mantel. Wanting to know whose house he was currently in, he began to walk in that direction, but stopped after a few steps when he heard a rustling behind him.

Turning around, Harry saw Severus pacing the length of the living room, hands clasped behind his back, clearly agitated. He kept glancing to the hallway and then at the clock sitting on the mantel.

Before Harry could continue on to the fireplace to see whose house he was in, the front door opened and closed. He turned and saw his mother walk into the room.

"Where have you been?" Severus questioned, worry lacing his voice. He rushed to Lily's side and helped remove her coat then hung it on a coat rack by the front door. "I thought you'd be home by now. Your appointment should have been over more than an hour ago."

"I'm sorry Sev." Carrying a shopping bag, she walked into the kitchen with Severus following her. "Time just flew away from me." She set the bag on a kitchen chair, went to one of the upper cabinets and pulled out two champagne glasses and set them on the table.

"I'm not following," Severus stated and pulled out a bottle of sparkling apple juice from the refrigerator.

"I had a feeling you more than likely wouldn't be home yet." Her eyes drifted to his left forearm where the Dark Mark resided under the sleeve of his shirt. "I couldn't sit at home by myself with the news I just received. I took a quick trip to a toy store and then decided to go over to my parents' house. Please don't be mad at me."

Severus quickly set the bottle on the table and went to Lily, giving her a quick hug. "I'm not mad and I don't blame you. You know I had planned on being at the doctor's office with you and would have if not for…" He let the sentence hang and dropped his eyes to his arm for an instant. "I can't even begin to tell you how disappointed I am for not being there with you. I was looking forward to this as much as you."

"I know. But…"

Severus cut her off by placing a finger on her lips. He then opened the bottle and filled the two glasses. "It is now time for celebrating. So what did the doctor say?" he asked, handing her one of the glasses.

Lily took the offered glass, beaming. She then reached into the shopping bag, pulled out a 5 x 7 black and white photo, and handed it to Severus.

"What is this?" he asked, brows knitted.

"It's an ultrasound photo," Lily laughed. "It's the way Muggles see their unborn babies. It's also how they can tell its sex."

"Oh." He brought the photo up close to his face. "What is it? It just looks like a smeared ink blot to me." He looked at it for another few seconds then set it on the table.

Laughing, Lily reached inside the bag once more. "Does this help?" She pulled out a tan teddy bear wearing a blue bow and handed it to Severus. "We're having a boy."

At those words, Harry turned his complete attention to Severus. He didn't want to miss a single thing the man did or said from that moment on.

"A boy." He looked at Lily, a smile beginning to transform on his face, and took the bear. "We're having a boy," Severus repeated in wonderment, while running a hand over the cuddly stuffed animal. "And his name will be Harry!" he stated enthusiastically.

Laughing, Lily looked to Severus, tears in her eyes. "Sev..."

He glanced at the ultrasound photo on the table then looked at her for a long moment. "I can't…I don't…I never thought I'd…I…I'm going to have a son. I can't believe I'm going to have a son," he stuttered, his smile growing wider if at all possible. "I never want to forget this day."

Harry took in a sharp breath at those words, and pressed his lips tightly together, trying to ignore the feeling they evoked in him. He wished with all his heart that those words had been true.

With glass in one hand, Severus set the bear next to the photo then put his hand on Lily's belly. "I'm going to have a son," he repeated in a very emotional voice. After a few moments, he dropped his hand and kissed Lily. "I can't wait until he is born."

"Neither can I." Without a word, the two brought their glasses up, clinked them together and took a few sips of their sparkling juice.

"You know you could have had some real champagne, Severus. I'm the only one that needs to stay away from alcohol right now."

Severus shook his head. "If you can't have any, I won't have any."

Ignoring the conversation continuing in front of him, Harry stood stock-still and just started at Severus. It was one thing to read how the man supposedly acted upon learning he was to have a son, but to see it was an entirely different matter. Standing there watching the entire thing, Harry was positive he could feel the emotions Severus was feeling at the time. He swallowed thickly at the thought that Severus was truly his father and wanted him…he really wanted him. Eyes prickling now, Harry blinked furiously to rid the blurry image in front of him, willing to see the scene clearly.

Before he got the chance, the scene dissolved in front of him once more. "NO!" he yelled, wanting to stay there.

Taking a few deep breaths, he slowly opened his eyes, although unwillingly. He was standing in the middle of what looked like a school cafeteria, though with the age the occupants appeared to be, it was more like a college or office cafeteria.

"Lily. Lily," Severus called out urgently while rushing through the large room. His cloak flapped behind him, reminiscent to the way his robes currently moved now.

"I'm over here," Lily called out from one of the tables in the corner of the room while waving a hand.

Severus ran over to her, breathing heavily.

"Sev, what's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

He put both hands on the table and bent over trying to catch his breath. "Not here. Somewhere private," he panted.

Lily put on her cloak, quickly gathered her belongings and threw away her half eaten meal in a trash can on their way out of the cafeteria. She led Severus out the back of the building into a secluded sitting area covered by shade trees. "What is it?"

Severus sunk down onto a bench, shaking and extremely pale.

"Severus, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Lily sat next to Severus and put a hand on his forehead.

He pulled away. "I'm not sick." He looked around, pulled out his wand and muttered a quick Muffliato. He took a few more deep breaths trying to get his breathing under control. "He wants Harry. He wants to kill…" Severus didn't finish. He put his face in his hands and took a few shuttered breaths. "I know you're going to despise me now, but I had to do it Lily. I had to," Severus cried into his hands.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, with brows knitted in confusion. "Please, start at the beginning."

Severus looked up to Lily and stared at her a minute before speaking. "I'll tell you what I am able. The Dark Lord somehow knew Albus Dumbledore was interviewing for a Hogwarts Divination professor at the Hog's Head Inn. Wanting someone on the inside, he told some of us to apply for the job. We were told to stay at the inn for the entire two days the interviews were taking place. If we saw someone being interviewed that we didn't recognize, we were to eavesdrop. It was his hope that with this information, one of us would be the only option…if you know what I mean. I was first to eavesdrop…"

"You mean you were one of them?" Lily interrupted. "Why would you choose to do that?"

Severus abruptly stood up, angry. "Do you honestly think I would volunteer for such a thing?"

Lily shook her head. "No. I'm sorry."

"I had no choice," he said rather harshly, then began pacing in front of the bench, hands clenched into fists at his side. "He told us who he wanted to attend. It's not like I could have said no. Anyway, that first evening, we were all summoned. He was most displeased when he found out I was the only one who eavesdropped that day. Luckily he took out his displeasure on the others." Severus stopped speaking and looked to the ground.

"Go on," Lily pressed, watching him walk back and forth in silence.

Severus took a shaky breath and looked back up. "Being in the situation I was in, I had to tell him something. Instead of revealing who the headmaster was interviewing, I took a chance and told him what I had heard, in the hopes it would appease him. Unfortunately what I heard was a prophecy. The gist of it was that the only person who could defeat the Dark Lord would be born the end of July to parents who have defied him three times. He's going to be starting a hunt, Lily. Some time after August, after the child is born. Maybe sooner, if Lucius can convince him."

He shuddered, then sat down while running a hand over his face. "I never thought he would assume the child was Harry. If I thought that for even a second, I would have lied about what I overheard." He put a hand on Lily's belly. "I'm not even sure how he knows you're pregnant. I'm sorry Lily. I'm so sorry."

Though looking horrified, Lily scooted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Don't worry Sev. He will _never_ come close to getting Harry." She joined Severus in rubbing her belly.

"Luckily he doesn't seem to know who the father is for now. But with the fact that he somehow found out you're pregnant, it may only be time before he finds out I'm the father. I'm sorry Lily, but…we can't get married in two weeks. It's not safe for you to be married to a Death Eater." Severus lowered his head.

Snapping her head up from Severus' shoulder, Lily pulled away and looked at him with shock in her eyes. "But what about our family? Harry needs a father and I need a husband. I love you and you love me. Doesn't that matter?"

Severus slowly brought a hand to Lily's belly again, and let it rest there. "Don't you understand?" he asked, voice hard. "It's suicide to get married. You have no idea how easy it would be for the Dark Lord to get a hold of Harry once it was knowledge that he is my son. I've seen what has happened to some Death Eater's children. And they are not being hunted by the Dark Lord."

"Severus, you don't know what you're saying. I know you'll keep us all safe. Besides, I'm almost done with my Auror training."

"You don't get it, do you? By marrying you, I'll be handing Harry over to the Dark Lord on a silver platter. How is that keeping anyone safe? I can protect you and Harry the most by not being in your lives. I will not put you or our son's life in danger."

Tears streaming down her face, Lily brushed Severus' hand away and abruptly stood up. "I need to be alone."

After she ran off, Severus stayed seated and buried his face into his hands.

Harry could barely breathe as the scene changed in front of him. He now found himself in the living room from a few memories prior.

"Thank you for coming, Potter," Severus said through slightly clenched teeth.

"I don't know why I bothered," James said as he walked through the front door into the living room.

Severus ignored the comment and gestured to the couch where Lily was already seated. "Please, sit down." Once James was sitting, Severus turned his eyes to Lily with a heartbroken look. He then took a seat in the chair next to the couch. After clasping his hands in his lap, he glanced at Lily one more time, and then turned his attention to James. "I know you at one point loved Lily and had hoped to marry her."

"Severus," Lily hissed. "What are you doing?"

Ignoring Lily, Severus continued. "Do you still love Lily?"

"I…" James looked from Severus to Lily.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Well? Do you? I need the absolute truth, James."

Harry dropped his jaw when Severus called James by his first name. Looking at James, Harry could tell James was in shock as well.

James gulped audibly then nodded. "Yes. I do still love her."

"What?" Lily looked over at James, clearly surprised. "But when we decided to break up last year, you said…"

"Lily, please. Not now," Severus interrupted. "Would you be willing to marry Lily and raise Harry as your own?"

"Severus, what are you doing?" Lily urgently asked again, her eyes wide with disbelief.

Again, Severus ignored her. "Lily and I have discussed our options long and hard, but none were the right choice. I know she more than likely won't agree, but I know this is the only way to keep her and Harry safe."

"I'm sorry, but can you fill me in?" James questioned in confusion. "I don't know what's going on."

Severus huffed, clearly irritated, but answered, his voice starting out hard then getting softer. "The Dark Lord is after Harry and will do everything in his power to kill him, even if it means killing Lily now. In order to keep Harry and Lily safe, I have decided…" Severus faltered due to a catch in his voice. "I have decided…" With another catch, he cleared his throat and tried once more. "I have decided it best that I sever all ties with both of them. Currently, the Dark Lord doesn't know I'm the father, but it will only be time."

"Why is he after Harry?"

"I cannot and will not go into that. Just know that killing Harry is currently his only mission."

Severus looked to Lily. "It's the only way Lily," he whispered, clearly pained. "I know you don't agree, but as much as I love you and Harry, I can't possibly sacrifice both of your lives by being married to you."

"No. Sev, please," Lily begged, tears pooling in her eyes. "Don't do this."

"I hate to agree with him," James said quietly. "But he's right, Lily. We've been fighting against him for only a few months, but you've heard all the stories from the past. You know what he's like and what he would do to get whatever it is he wants."

"Does that mean you will agree to marry Lily and raise Harry as your own?" Severus questioned again.

"Yes," James answered. He looked to Lily and took her hand. "I still love you. I would do anything to keep you and your son safe. I do not want to see another death by the hand of that madman."

Glancing at Lily and James' joined hands, pain flashed across Severus' face. He quickly stood up. "I hate to cut this visit short, but as you can imagine, Lily and I have a few things to discuss. Lily will be in contact with you in the next day or two."

He led James to the entry door, leaving Lily sitting on the couch, head in her hands. After opening the door, he held out his right hand. "I know we didn't get along while at Hogwarts, but I can't even begin to thank you for what you are doing. Lily and Harry are my life, but I want them to have a future. Lily doesn't understand right now, but in time, I know she will."

James shook Severus' offered hand. "I know you love them, Severus. I can see it in your eyes. I know that's why you're doing this. Believe me, if our roles were reversed, I'd do the same. I promise I'll do everything in my power to make sure they're kept safe and happy." He then turned around and left the house.

After closing the door, Severus walked down the hall to one of the bedrooms, glancing at Lily on the way. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it with his eyes closed.

Harry looked around the room they were now in. The room was painted in a pale green and had pale blue, green and yellow striped curtains over the window. Against one wall was an oak crib. The sheet and bumpers matched the material of the curtains. Inside the crib was the bear Harry had seen his mother give Severus in the earlier memory.

In one corner of the room was a stack of cardboard boxes. The closet was open and a few items of baby clothing were hanging on the rod, with boxes stacked underneath. There was a rocker seated at one side of the window with a cushion matching the curtains as well. The rest of the room was a hodgepodge of items. Likely this was where his mother and Severus had put everything when they moved in.

Seeing the ultrasound photo from the earlier memory framed and hanging on the wall by the window, Harry's vision swam and his knees almost buckled with sudden realization. He was standing in his future nursery. Or what would have been his nursery if his mother and Severus got married.

A minute later Severus finally opened his eyes and sluggishly walked to the crib. He scooped up the bear and went to the rocker by the window. He sat down and ran a hand through the bear's fuzzy head while looking at the crib and ultrasound. Then he closed his eyes, hugged the bear to his chest protectively, and rested his chin on its head. With a deep shuddering breath, he dropped his head and clenched his eyes shut, tightening his hold of the bear. The anguish the man was feeling was immediately apparent. He sat there for two minutes before there was a knock on the door.

"Severus? Sev, are you alright?" Lily's muffled voice asked behind the door.

Severus raised his head and wiped a hand across his face before answering, his voice quiet and rough. "Give me a few minutes please."

Not wanting to see his father in this state and feeling like he was invading on a very private moment, Harry began to turn around when the scene began to swirl around him.

Harry was now standing in the living room of Spinner's End. The room was dingy and dirty, nothing like it was when he visited in December. Lily was seated on a worn couch and Severus was standing in front of the fireplace, head down, back to the room.

When the man turned around a moment later, Harry gasped. He looked awful. His face was deathly pale, with dark circles under his eyes, and his clothes were extremely wrinkled. The hand he had resting on the mantel was trembling. Seeing Severus in that state, and having an idea what was happening, Harry only had eyes for him.

"Lily, why won't you do it?" Severus asked, hurt and pain evident all throughout his body.

"I will _not_ remove and alter your memories, Severus," Lily answered harshly. "I can't believe you even asked."

He dropped his hands to his side and took a few steps toward Lily. "Put yourself in my place. Try to think and feel what I am going through. I just asked my one true love to marry my enemy, and then asked that enemy to raise my son…_my own flesh and blood…_as his own."

Lily stood up, but stayed by the couch. "But no one told you to do that, Severus. That's the thing. You made that decision all on your own. There were many other things we could have done to stay safe, but you had to take the most drastic one. Did you even think about how _I_ would feel?"

"Lily, I don't want to argue about the decision I made yesterday. You finally agreed. Let's leave it at that."

"I just don't understand why you'd want me to remove and alter your memories? Explain it to me. Why would you suggest a thing like that? Could it be that you hate the idea of marrying me and having Harry, and this was your way out?"

"Never!" He walked over to Lily, but when Lily started backing away, he stopped and returned to the fireplace. He looked at her hurt. "I can't believe you would even suggest that. You _know_ that's not the reason. You know I need to keep up my Death Eater persona until we can destroy the Dark Lord. I'm still trying to master Occlumency, and I will _not_ take a chance at him finding out information when he decides to perform Legilimency on me. He could get to you and Harry in an instant."

Lily didn't say a word, but she moved back to where she was standing.

Swallowing, Severus looked at her, his eyes pleading. "I love you and Harry so much," he began, his voice soft. "You are my life. You know that." He brought a clenched fist up to his heart. "I can't even begin to describe how much it hurts having to give you and Harry up. I don't think I can live with the pain…the knowledge…of what I asked you to do. Of how much I…" Voice strangled and catching in his throat, and his face beginning to crumple, he stopped. He dropped his head, his breathing rapid, and brought up a hand to cover his eyes. "Please Lily," he begged in a heartbroken whisper. "Please allow me this."

At his plea, Lily walked over to Severus. She reached out and lowered his hand, her fingers entwining with his.

Severus slowly raised his head and looked to Lily, eyes brimming with tears. "I don't want to live the rest of my life with this pain, of knowing how much love I feel for you two. Can't you understand? It's breaking my heart!" Eyes still pleading, he wiped at his tears with the back of his free hand.

"If that's what you want." Lily finally responded.

"It is, Lily. Please?" he begged again, squeezing Lily's hand.

"I don't agree with you, but…okay," she choked out. "What exactly do you want me to do?"

"I'll pull all the relevant memories to the forefront of my mind so you can remove them and at the same time, alter them. You can alter them so I don't know you at all, or so I think you and James end up together while at Hogwarts, and then get married and have Harry. I don't care. Just alter them to anything that doesn't involve us or the truth at all."

"All right," Lily said quietly. "Are you ready?"

"In one minute," he whispered. He knelt down, placed his hands on both sides of Lily's belly, and moved his face closer so he was just a few inches from her belly button. "I love you Harry. And I'm sorry I had to do this. At least I know you'll grow up healthy and happy now." He kissed her belly, stood up and looked at her, tears having returned to his eyes though he was clearly trying to keep his emotions in check. "I love you Lily. Always remember that. I love you and Harry." He quickly pulled her into an embrace, and held her there for only a few seconds.

"I love you too, Severus," Lily cried, tears streaming down her face. "I'll never forget your love or what you sacrificed to keep Harry and myself safe." She kissed him then quickly backed up.

The two moved over to the couch. After Severus sat down, Lily stood in front of him, and with an incredibly shaky hand, pointed her wand at Severus' temple.

"I love you," Severus whispered in a strangled voice, then closed his eyes.

The scene blurred in front of Harry and then when everything went black, he lifted his head out of the Pensieve. Legs unable to support him, he crumpled to the ground. He wrapped his arms around his legs and buried his head in his knees.

* * *

_This was one of the hardest chapters I've written. I don't know if I captured it the way I wanted it, but it's the best I can get. I know a lot of you have been waiting for these memories. I just hope I didn't let any of you down with what I wrote. Oh, and I would have had this posted earlier, since I've been trying to write everyday during lunch at work, but because of the chapter's content, I only wrote a little bit at work. I had to write the rest when I had the time when I got home. The chapter's content was way too emotional for me. The days I did try to write at work, I was an emotional wreck after lunch. LOL  
_

_Thank you all for the reviews and alerts! It still amazes me how many people are following this story and leaving reviews.  
_


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

Remus was concerned about Harry and Severus. He had noticed quite a bit of tension between the two lately. A few weeks prior, he didn't think it was that big of a deal. But now, he thought otherwise. Especially after the conversation he'd had with Severus the day Harry collapsed due to exhaustion. After that day, the tension seemed to have intensified. It might have even contributed to the fact that Harry had actually skipped out on his Defense class today. He did catch a glimpse of the boy earlier and he looked dreadful. Whether Severus liked it or not, he and Remus were going to have a conversation before the night was over. Whatever was going on was affecting Harry in a negative way and he was not going to stand for it.

He had hoped to speak with Severus during lunch in the Great Hall, but the man did not appear. Dinner was approaching in a few hours, but if the man didn't show up to lunch, there might be a possibility that he wouldn't show up to dinner either. Knowing the conversation couldn't wait until it was convenient, Remus put his sixth year grading aside, left his office and began his search for Severus in the dungeons.

~SH~

Severus stared at his office door heartbrokenly while stowing his Death Eater robes and mask inside his teaching robes so they wouldn't attract attention. It felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach, he could hardly breathe. Turning away, he dropped his head and walked on autopilot through Hogwarts in the direction of the entrance doors. He couldn't get Harry's look of revulsion out of his head.

One of his worst nightmares was now coming true. Harry was rejecting him. And he had no one to blame but himself. He could have prevented this outcome. If only he forced Harry to view the memories earlier. If only he switched his memories out in the first place. If only he remembered to bring all his memories back after his Death Eater meetings. Severus shook his head as he realized there were too many if onlys. His entire life seemed to be full of them.

"Severus," Remus called, coming upon the potions master one floor below the main level.

Severus looked up at the sound of his name, but didn't acknowledge Remus, his thoughts still revolving around Harry. He passed right by the man and continued up to the main level.

Knitting his brow in confusion at being ignored, Remus turned around and caught up to Severus, now walking next to him. "Severus, I need to speak with you about…" Remus paused and looked around, making sure there were no students in the vicinity. "…about Harry. He didn't show up to class today. Do you know if there is anything bothering him? Maybe between the both of you?"

At the questions, Severus paused and made eye contact with Remus. He then quickly looked away, his throat searing, and swallowed hard to get past the lump that just appeared. "Not now Lupin," he choked out, clenching his hands into fists.

"But Severus," Remus continued, not noticing the distress the other professor seemed to be in. "I feel this is an important conversation that cannot wait. Whatever it is, it's affecting his…"

"I said not now!" Severus interrupted, his voice strangled. He then rushed through the entry doors and out onto the grounds, leaving Remus staring after him in confusion.

While walking through the damp grass to the apparition point, Severus kept swallowing to try and get rid the painful lump in his throat. Instead, he added a fierce prickling behind his eyes and rapid breathing.

He was _not_ prepared for Harry's rejection. It made him feel worse than when he found out Lily was murdered by Voldemort. He could honestly say it was even worse then what he felt in all the memories inside the heart-shaped bottle. He actually had a taste of what it was like to be a father and to have Harry as a son. The happiness, love, and purpose it gave him over these past few months was something that for over a decade he never thought he'd feel or even desire. Now because of his actions, all it gave him was a tremendous heartache he didn't think he could ever recover from.

Upon reaching the Apparition point just outside the gates, and knowing he wasted too much time already, Severus quickly Disapparated. He appeared moments later on a drive surrounded by high hedges. He began walking up the drive in the direction of a manor house a bit farther in front of him and put on the Death Eater robes and mask. His mind on Harry, it wasn't until he heard the call of a peacock in the distance that he realized where he was.

Quickly, he walked up the gravel drive towards the large wrought iron gates. As he reached the gates, he raised his left arm and felt the wards recognize him. He passed through the gate and continued walking up the drive. When he stepped foot onto the porch, the front door automatically opened, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Inside the manor, he approached the drawing room, took a breath to steel himself for what might come, and opened the heavy wooden door.

Stepping a few feet into the room, he quickly glanced around. By the small number of people seated around the large table in the center of the room, the Dark Lord only summoned the Inner Circle.

"Ah, Severus. So good of you to finally join us."

At those words, Severus stiffened slightly. "I do apologize, my Lord." He bowed his head in respect. "Dumbledore prohibited my leaving in a timely manner." When he raised his head and the Dark Lord fastened his eyes on him, he immediately felt his mind being invaded.

_He knelt down in front of Harry and held his hands in his own. Harry was looking at him in confusion. "Harry," he began, "if something happened…I couldn't…I don't think….," his voice became extremely rough as he rambled. "…I can't imagine…you don't…" Before he could get out the rest of the words, Harry launched himself into his arms. He pulled Harry closer and held on to him tight._ _"Harry, you don't know how much you mean to me. I can't lose you," he whispered. "I love you."_

The moment Severus began to see the memory flash in front of his eyes, he tried to fabricate a reason for it and then push that memory forward. He knew he probably failed, however, when the Dark Lord forcefully exited his mind. He staggered slightly at the unusual painful exit. He knew the Dark Lord would perform Legilimency on him sometime during the meeting. Why didn't he occlude?

Voldemort eyed Severus in calculation. "Take a seat so we may finally begin."

Already aware that he was not in the Dark Lord's good graces by being late, and now with the memory that was just viewed, Severus quickly walked to the vacant seat near the end of the table and sat down.

Voldemort stood up and walked up and down the table once, appraising his followers. He then stopped in front of the roaring fireplace, the light casting him in eerie flickering shadows. "I would like to begin by thanking the lady of the manor for allowing us to take up residence in her home these past few months."

Severus quickly glanced at the other end of the table. Narcissa was staring at the tabletop and sitting stiffly. It was obvious that that she did no such thing. He could not image Narcissa Malfoy willfully allowing the Dark Lord into the manor while Lucius was in Azkaban.

"This will be the last meeting in this location." Voldemort returned to his seat at the head of the table, eyes fixated on Severus. "After the events that will take place on Saturday, we will have no need to be discreet about our meetings."

"My Lord?" questioned Dolohov.

Voldemort shifted his attention from Severus to the other side of the table where Dolohov was seated. "We will be attacking Hogsmeade Saturday afternoon." Voldemort looked around the room, but stopped when he got to Severus. "What was not accomplished fifteen years ago will finally be taken care of. And if others, including traitors, are killed in the process, so be it. I will be ruling the wizarding world by nightfall."

Ignoring the fear bubbling in his stomach, Severus looked around the table and tried to look as excited as the rest.

"How do you plan to lure Potter to Hogsmeade, my Lord?" questioned Bellatrix. "Doesn't Dumbledore have him under lock and key?"

"I have my ways, Bella." Voldemort answered, eyes trained on Severus. "And if he does not appear, we will then move our attack to Hogwarts. Though I would like to try and avoid that. I plan on taking control of the school and then remove all of the filth attending. It will be the start of a new reign of teaching."

"And what of Dumbledore, my Lord?" asked Yaxley. "You cannot control the school with him in power."

"I already have plans in motion for his demise." He glanced quickly at Narcissa, then looked back to Yaxley. "Do not concern yourself with him. Severus, my once faithful follower, what has become of the potion I requested?"

Severus' blood turned cold at the way the Dark Lord addressed him. In the back of his mind, he recalled Harry's nightmares. Nightmares that involved him being ousted as a traitor and dying at the hands of Voldemort. He pushed those thoughts quickly aside and answered. "I unfortunately had a setback in the creation of the potion, my Lord."

"A setback?" Voldemort hissed, his red eyes narrowing. "I require its use on Saturday. Will it be ready?"

"No. I…"

Everyone around the table whipped their heads around and stared at Severus in shock. No was not a word that was said to the Dark Lord.

"No?" Voldemort repeated in astonishment. He tightened his hold on the wand he held in his hand that rested on top of the table.

Bellatrix's face transformed into a wicked smile and she raised her wand. "May I, my Lord?"

"Not now, Bella," Voldemort answered, eyes never leaving Severus.

She lowered her wand, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and sat back against her chair with a frown.

Severus' eyes were glued to Voldemort's wand. After a moment, he looked up. "My Lord, I had the potion completed last week and was waiting for when you would call. Unfortunately, some ingredient caused it to become unstable. The potion exploded in my private lab this past weekend. Most of my lab was destroyed in the process. I have been researching every ingredient to see where the problem resides."

"And where are you in this research, Severus?"

"I am sorry, my Lord," he stated calmly, though feeling quite the opposite. "But I am not very far. The headmaster has been keeping me away from my lab."

Voldemort gave an almost imperceptible nod to Bellatrix.

Cackling across from Severus, Bellatrix raised her wand. "Cruicio!" she screamed in glee.

The Unforgivable was not cast on him long, but because his eyes were trained on Voldemort's wand, Severus wasn't prepared for the curse. As his body thrashed and withered around, almost sending him crashing to the floor, he clamped his mouth shut to try and not scream from the intense pain.

Once the curse was released, Severus composed himself as best he could while getting his breathing under control. He put his hands in his lap under the table. The others did not need to see the tremors the curse left behind. As he swallowed, he tasted blood. In his attempt to keep himself from screaming, he had obviously bitten his tongue.

"I trust you do not need me to verbally tell you of my displeasure, Severus," Voldemort hissed, "as you've already felt it?"

"No, my Lord," Severus whispered.

"Very good. I would like you to re-brew the potion as you have created it."

"But my Lord," Severus interrupted. A few hisses could be heard around the room at his brazen disrespect. "The potion is very unstable. Not knowing the cause of the explosion, you could be putting your life in jeopardy by having it on you."

Voldemort narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "I believe you are keeping something from me, Severus. I do not think it wise considering where you stand with me at this very moment."

"I am not keeping anything from you, my Lord. I just do not want to see this potion explode before you are able to use it. You did not see my lab. There will be nothing left of you if it happens to explode while you have it on your person."

"Your concern is touching, Severus," Voldemort stated mockingly. "But I will take that chance. You will re-brew the potion and deliver it here to this very table by eight pm, Friday evening. You do not want to disappoint."

All eyes were now on Severus.

Severus bowed his head. "Yes, my Lord."

After a few tense moments, Voldemort addressed everyone at the table. "We will be victorious Saturday. Not only will it be the end of Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore, but as I am aware of a few traitors, our ranks will be cleaned and purged as well. Only the true will remain."

Murmurs of assent filled the large room. Severus joined in with the talk.

Voldemort looked at everyone in satisfaction, and then interrupted their joyful ramblings. "I would like everyone to be prepared for the attack at noon on Saturday. With our current numbers, we can surround the village and should have it overtaken in no time. I do require that none of you touch Harry Potter. He is mine. I expect you all to notify everyone in our lower ranks of the attack and my expectations." Voldemort stood up. "You may all go. Except for you, Severus."

Having gotten up to leave, Severus returned to the table and sat back down. His heart began to race and his hands started to get sweaty. He discretely wiped them on his trousers and voided his face of everything he was currently feeling. He had a feeling he would more than likely not be making it out of this room alive.

Bellatrix stood in front of Voldemort and bowed her head. "My Lord, may I please stay behind as well?"

"You may," Voldemort answered with a fearsome smile. As Bellatrix stood off to the side, near the fireplace, Voldemort got up and walked around to the side of the table Severus was seated. He twirled his wand around in his hand. "Severus," he hissed, "I require an explanation for what I viewed upon your arrival."

Severus swallowed thickly. It was now time to do what he did best. "Dumbledore has a tighter reign on the Potter boy then previously thought. He barely lets him out of his sight. I decided that it would be in our best interests if I could get the boy to trust me. Then it would be easier for you to accomplish your task. With a lot of false evidence as backup, I told him that I was his father, not James Potter. Knowing one of the boy's greatest weaknesses, I played like I cared about him and what happened to him." Severus' stomach twisted at what he was saying, but he knew he could not stop now. "I slowly earned his trust by acting as a father. It has even gotten to the point where he calls me dad. Over the past few months he's bought it more than I could dare imagine."

"And what of the headmaster?" Voldemort questioned.

"To my great surprise, he fell for it too. So much so, that he's been trying to keep the boy and I apart."

"Why didn't you let us know of your plans, Snape?" Bellatrix interrupted, moving to stand beside Voldemort.

Severus ignored Bellatrix. "The trust the Potter boy now has in me will be of great help on Saturday, my Lord."

Not replying, Voldemort studied Severus. His eyes then locked on to Severus' again as he entered his mind. He pulled out moments later and titled his head to the right in calculation.

On his guard, though knowing he couldn't defend himself if he wanted to keep his position under the Dark Lord, Severus ignored the desire to have his wand at the ready.

"Bella, if you would," Voldemort whispered.

"Of course, my Lord." Bellatrix answered. "Crucio!"

The powerful curse slammed into Severus. He was brought to the ground in excruciating pain, his body twisting and writhing. Unable to stop it, a horrible scream tore through his throat.

Laughing, Bellatrix then lowered her wand and smiled in glee as Severus continued to twitch on the ground.

Voldemort walked closer to Severus. "Do you take me for a fool Severus?" He raised his wand. "Crucio!"

As the even more powerful curse hit him, Severus continued screaming and thrashing around on the ground. He had never felt pain as intense.

A minute later and tired of the Unforgivable, Voldemort lowered his wand.

Severus knew he had been on borrowed time and would die at the hands of the Dark Lord some day. He just didn't expect it to come about as it had. As he twisted and thrashed in the curse's residual pain, all he could think about was Harry. At least with the way they parted, the boy wouldn't be upset. That was the last thing he wanted. Before all of their problems, he knew if anything had happened to him, Harry would be beyond devastated. Now, at least, his death wouldn't cause the boy any pain.

Voldemort looked to Bellatrix. "Bella, if you would, please show Severus what we do to traitors."

"Gladly." With an evil laugh, Bellatrix stepped over and raised her wand. For fifteen minutes she had her way with Severus, laughing harder the more he screamed. She stepped back and nodded in satisfaction. Severus lie unmoving, his breathing labored, with his left arm bent at an unnatural angle. Blood, from cuts inflicted by her curses, was beginning to pool around his body. After a moment she raised her wand one more time. "Avada Ke…"

"No Bellatrix," Voldemort stated, while rushing over and putting a hand on her wand. "I want to wait until Saturday. I want to show the traitors what will become of them."

"Very well, my Lord." Bellatrix lowered her wand. Since she couldn't perform the ultimate Unforgivable, she kicked Severus hard in the ribs twice.

Voldemort leaned down close to Severus' ear, not caring if the man was even conscious. "Severus, I am giving you one chance to redeem yourself to me. Do no disappoint me on Friday or Saturday." He stood back up and turned to Bellatrix. "Apparate him back to Hogwarts. I want the headmaster to see what will become of all who defy me."

Bellatrix nodded. "Incarcerous." Thick ropes shot out of her wand and wrapped around Severus. "Mobilicorpus." His body rose up off the floor a few feet and moved to a standing position in front of her. Eyes rolled back in his head, his head lolled to the right. Blood dripped from his black boots onto the ground, leaving a trail, as Bellatrix walked out of Malfoy Manor to the Apparition point.

After Apparating outside the wards of Hogwarts, Bellatrix released the spells on Severus and smiled when his body crashed to the ground. "Serves you right," she said as she raised her wand one more time. "Crucio!" She let Severus thrash around on the wet grass for two minutes before releasing the curse and Apparating back to Malfoy Manor.

~SH~

Face still pressed into his knees, Harry felt numb with the swirl of emotions he was currently feeling. Severus had given the ultimate sacrifice. He had given up his life, so to speak, to keep his son and fiancée safe. Harry could feel as well as see that the man had been devastated by what he had to do.

It had actually made him slightly uncomfortable to see Severus in the state he was in near the end of the memories. The man was usually so stoic. Harry often times wondered if Severus had any emotions at all. True, he had shown a hint of them around him before, but not to the extent he just saw.

He took a shuddered breath. He couldn't even imagine what Severus must have been feeling these past few months. To go from hating someone so much to the next minute finding out that that person is their son. Someone he had once loved more than anything.

Harry knew that when memories were restored, every emotion was restored as well. It must have been so confusing for Severus to have conflicting memories and emotions regarding him. No wonder the man acted like he had at times.

Wrapping his arms tighter around his legs, he rested his chin on his knees and glanced at the Pensieve. His father's memories resided in the bottle today. How long had they been in there? Harry recalled Severus telling him the memories were in the bottle so he could view them, but that was when…Christmas? Had they been in there since then?

He didn't know a whole lot about how memories worked, but in his father's case, if the true memories resided in the bottle that whole time and he still lived with his altered memories, would he forget what he felt about the true memories? Maybe memories placed in Pensieves, or other objects, would become like very old snapshots. You know the events happened, but you can't really recall what you felt or what really happened beyond the picture. Maybe you even forget about them.

Harry guessed that's probably close to what happened with Severus. His true memories were in the bottle waiting for him, Harry, to view while he continued living with the altered memories. More than likely the altered memories began to take precedence since he could recall and feel them instantaneously.

Harry dropped his head in shame. That's probably what happened over the past few weeks. How many times had Severus told him their new relationship would be an adjustment? That the two of them couldn't go overnight and change the way they thought about each other? For Merlin's sake, Severus hated him for over five years!

He should have gone to Severus earlier and talk about what he was feeling at the man's recent actions. More than likely his father didn't even realize what he was doing. And most importantly, why didn't he let the man talk at the beginning of his detention?

The last words Harry spoke to Severus not more than an hour ago slammed to the front of his mind. _I hate you! I hope my dream finally comes true tonight and I never have to see you again. For once I'm looking forward to seeing what Voldemort plans to do. Have fun! _Breath leaving his lungs and a feeling of nausea forming in his stomach, he lifted his head in horror. What did he do? In the span of one minute, he had ruined everything. Why was he always jumping to the wrong conclusions? Why didn't he think before acting?

Breathing rapidly, he buried his face in his knees once again and squeezed his eyes shut tight. He didn't think he could ever fix what he just messed up.

~SH~

Half an hour later, his behind sore from sitting on the stone floor for so long, Harry finally found the will to get up. He probably couldn't fix what he did, but he had to at least try. Severus did say continuing their relationship would be his decision, after all. Who said he couldn't change his mind? He glanced at the memories swirling in the Pensieve. He wanted to watch the final memories one more time, but instead pulled out his wand and began replacing them all in the bottle. Once the memories were back, he set the bottle where he found it, grabbed the Ministry of Magic documents and left his father's office.

Harry wasn't too sure how long he had been inside the Pensieve or how long he was sitting on the floor, but he figured his father might be back from the Death Eater meeting.

He walked a bit deeper into the dungeons and tried to enter their quarters off the main dungeon corridor. When the wards didn't recognize him, fear bubbled up inside him.

Without a second thought, he spun around and ran through the corridors to meet up with the secret passageway, ignoring the weird looks from students milling around in the corridors. Even with a cramp forming on his right side and feeling like he was going to collapse, he turned down the secret passageway and pushed himself to continue running.

Breathing rapidly, he bent over with one hand resting on his thigh and tentatively placed the other on the door. When the door clicked opened, he almost cried.

"Dad? Dad, are you here? Dad?" he called loudly when he walked into the hall and shut the door behind him. His questions were met with silence. Still wanting to be sure their quarters were empty, in the event his father was home and hurt from the meeting and couldn't answer, he searched every single room including the man's bedroom. Once he was sure the place was empty, he slowly walked to the living area and sat down in Severus' chair. He pulled his legs up under him and sat there staring at the fireplace, the ministry papers clutched tightly in his hands.

When Severus had yet to appear after fifteen minutes, he began to feel nervous. What if something happened to him at the meeting? After a few more minutes passed, it seemed like the walls were beginning to close in on him. Needing more space, he placed the papers on his bed in his bedroom and left through the secret passageway.

Once he came to the main level, he walked in the direction of the entry doors, wanting to go to the secret spot his father and mother always visited behind the castle. When he opened the doors, however, his shoulders dropped and he sighed. Night had fallen and no one was allowed outside the castle walls after dark. Turning around, he decided to go to the next best place.

He was just passing in front of the Great Hall, with his head down, when Neville came upon him.

"Hi Harry. On your way to dinner?" Neville asked.

"Er…no," Harry answered, lifting his head up, unaware that it was even time for dinner. Not that he was hungry.

"Oh. How come you didn't show up to Defense today? We were all worried."

Not wanting to answer, Harry just shrugged his shoulders.

At Harry's unusual response, Neville looked him up and down. "Harry, I don't mean to pry but…are you all right? You look a little pale."

"No…yes…no, I'm fine," Harry muttered. "I'm just a bit preoccupied." Harry looked around. "I uh, I gotta go Neville." Without waiting for an acknowledgment, he took off in the direction of the Astronomy Tower.

After climbing the spiral staircase, he walked over to side, rested his arms on the ledge and looked out. Seeing the sky was clear and bright with stars, he looked up and found Sirius. He smiled sadly when he spotted it. Slowly, he climbed up onto the ledge facing the lake. Leaning against the side, he spread his legs out in front of him, crossed his ankles, and just let his mind wander.

Harry realized Severus had been called to attend quite a few Death Eater meetings over the last few weeks. He, of course, didn't know how often Voldemort called on his followers, but somehow thought this many in a short period of time was highly unusual. And that couldn't be good.

Maybe because of the current situation between him and Severus, and with the nightmares he'd had of the man dying at a Death Eater meeting, the thought that he was currently with Voldemort scared him more than usual. He shivered, recalling the shape his father was in after one of his last meetings. This was one time Harry wished his Occlumency lessons were not going well. He truly wanted to see what was going on.

A pop in the distance startled Harry out of his thoughts, and looked out over the grounds for the source. His eyes slowly scanned the horizon, but he couldn't really see anything through the darkness. Shaking his head at his jumpiness, he began to turn his head away when a steady stream of light from near the castle gates caught his eye. He stared, trying to determine what it was. Because of the height and distance he was at, he was only able to make out the light. A few seconds later, the light disappeared and he heard another pop.

Not knowing what it was, and the fact that the castle was on kind of a lockdown, Harry decided it best to let a professor know what he saw. He jumped off the ledge and ran down the spiral staircase. As he arrived at the entrance hall on the ground floor, loud voices filled the air. Everyone was in the Great Hall. He really didn't want to walk in there and bring attention to himself, so instead he approached the doors and looked up to the staff table, hoping someone was gone. Only three professors were missing. Snape, of course, Remus and Trelawney. Harry knew it was pointless to speak with the Divination professor so he turned and ran towards Remus' office, hoping the man was in there.

Out of breath, Harry knocked on Remus' door. He then leaned over, hands on his knees, to try and catch his breath.

Remus opened the door a moment later. "Harry!" he exclaimed at Harry's position.

"Hi professor," he said while gasping for breath.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked while pulling Harry into his office by an arm. He closed the door behind him and led Harry to one of the chairs in front of his desk.

Harry sat down in one of the chairs and tried to get his breathing under control. "Sorry. Just ran all the way down from the Astronomy tower."

"Whatever for? Why weren't you in the Great Hall for dinner?" Remus sat down next to him and summoned a glass of water for Harry.

"Thanks." Harry took the glass of water and downed half of it. "I just needed to think," he answered quietly. "While I was up there, I heard a pop. Then I noticed a light. It was coming from near the gates. The light then disappeared and I heard another pop. I know that the castle in on lockdown due to Death Eater activity, so I thought I'd better let someone know."

Remus put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Thank you Harry. I'm glad you didn't take it upon yourself to check it out."

"Yeah, well…"

"I will go see what it might have been," Remus interrupted. "Don't you worry about a thing." He stood up and replaced the chair. "Now while I'm gone, I want you to go to the Great Hall and eat something. You haven't eaten I know Severus would want you to eat."

Harry looked down with a sad expression. "Okay," he whispered.

Remus noticed the look but didn't comment. Right now there were more important matters. "Go!" he said again as Harry still sat in the chair.

"All right, professor." Harry stood up and followed Remus out of the office. He headed in the direction of the Great Hall with Remus walking next to him. Once the professor passed him and was out of sight, Harry quickly spun around and ran up to Gryffindor tower.

During the entire trek to Remus' office minutes earlier, he kept thinking that maybe the sound he had heard while up in the Astronomy Tower was someone Apparating. He knew Apparition wasn't possible within the castle grounds, but it had to be just outside the gates. Severus had gone to a Death Eater meeting. What if it was him Apparating back?

Finally reaching the Gryffindor Tower, he continued up to his dorm, fumbled around in his trunk and pulled out his invisibility cloak. Before leaving the dorms, he put it on and then continued running through the castle out onto the grounds. He hoped to find Remus and not get caught in the process.

~SH~

Remus rushed out of the castle and through the grounds to the gates. When he got within eye sight of the gates, he spotted a dark lump just outside. Wand drawn, he approached cautiously. At the gates, he looked through and down to the ground. The lump he had seen was actually a person wearing all black, lying on the ground, and bound with thick ropes.

Slowly he opened the gate. A stunning spell was on the tip of his tongue if the person should move in the slightest, though with the ropes encircling the person, that scenario would be very unlikely. However, he wanted to be prepared. He walked closely to the person and crouched down. Something was very familiar. With a shaky hand, he pulled back the black clothing and revealed the face. It was Severus.

The man looked deathly pale and didn't seem to be breathing. Remus brought a hand to the Severus' neck to feel for a pulse. When he felt a very weak one, he let out a deep relieved breath. He quickly conjured his Patronus and sent word to Madam Pomphrey that he'd be bringing up the professor.

Not wanting any students to witness Severus in this state, he cast a disillusionment charm over the man. He then cast a Mobilicorpus and began the trek up to the hospital wing.

~SH~

Harry was halfway though the grounds when he spotted Remus making his way back up to the castle. Instead of running down to the professor, he decided to wait where he was. The professor was walking extremely slowly and his face looked grim. Wanting to know what was going on, when Remus finally passed him, Harry turned around and followed.

When Remus walked inside the castle and passed the Great Hall, Harry was slightly confused. He had thought his professor would notify Dumbledore of what was witnessed outside the castle and what had been found. And Harry knew for a fact that something had been found. Confusion about Remus' destination turned to fear when he realized that they were headed to the hospital wing.

Harry followed Remus into the hospital wing and over to a bed that was screened off on the far side of the room. His legs turned to lead the farther into the room he got. He did not want to see what was on the other side of the screens.

"It took you long enough, Remus," Madam Pomfrey said while rushing out of her office. "I had excepted you sooner."

Harry looked at the two in slight confusion after he rounded the screen and spotted an empty bed. To be sure he wasn't in the way, with whatever it was that was going on, he moved towards the head of the bed and pressed himself against the wall.

"It couldn't be helped," Remus answered, and waved his wand at the bed. The bed springs gave a slight groan as an invisible weight was settled on them. "I didn't want to take any chances. He seems barely alive as it is. Finite."

The disillusionment charm ended and Madam Pomfrey and Remus just stared at Severus for a few seconds. Madam Pomfrey then began to frantically wave her wand over Severus' body, and a list of every injury began compiling on a parchment that appeared right next to her. Once that was complete, she rushed around the room pulling vial after vial out of her stores.

Ignoring the commotion around him, Harry brought his eyes down to the hospital bed. All the blood rushed down to his feet and he began feeling faint. Severus was so pale Harry didn't think he had any blood left in his body. A huge gash adorned the left side of his face all the way from his temple to the corner of his mouth. His left arm was bent at a grotesque angle and it looked like all the bones in his fingers were broken. A pool of blood began to form on the crisp white sheets around his right side. No doubt he was sporting more injuries then could be seen.

His father didn't look like he could be alive. Needing to reassure himself that Severus was indeed still alive, he stepped right up to the bed, his legs hitting the side. He brought his eyes to the man's chest looking for movement. He stared for a few minutes. When he couldn't see the rise and fall of Severus chest, Harry bit his lips hard and tried to squelch the sob that wanted to tear out his body.

Shaking his head from side to side and mouthing the word no over and over, he slowly backed up until he hit the wall. He then wrapped his arms around himself and slid down to the ground in disbelief.

* * *

_I know, I know. A cliff hanger. Would you believe me if I said it wasn't intentional? This was truly the best place to stop. _

_Again, thank you all for the reviews and alerts. :) I'm always surprised by the response I get when I post a new chapter.  
_


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

Madam Pomfrey placed the last empty vial on the table next to Severus' bed to sit with the others. She ran another diagnostic and let out a relieved breath. "He is out of the woods."

"Thank God," Remus breathed and ran a hand through his hair. He still wasn't that fond of the potions master, but he did not wish to see him dead, especially with his newfound relationship with Harry. He looked Severus over once. "No doubt this was all caused by You-Know-Who. There is no other plausible explanation as to why he was on the other side of the gates." Remus paused as he thought back to his last encounter with the potions master. "Severus seemed very distracted when I tried to have a conversation with him earlier, though I really didn't pick up on it then. That's when he must have been called. I will go and inform the headmaster."

"Thank you Remus." As Remus left the hospital wing, Poppy gathered up all the empty vials and Severus' medical file and headed to her office. Because of the shape Severus was currently in, she would have to put an order in for potion refills from St. Mungo's. She decided to do that while she waited for Albus.

Still hidden under his invisibility cloak, and with the room empty, Harry slowly stood up and took a few tentative steps toward the bed. He let out a shaky breath in relief. His father was actually alive. He was so sure that wasn't the case. It didn't look like he was breathing at all just mere minutes ago.

Trembling from head to toe, he stopped at the side of the bed and reached out a shaky hand toward the still, pale form in front of him. Just as he was inches from Severus' right hand, the hospital wing doors burst open. He quickly pulled his hand back under the invisibility cloak and retreated back against the wall.

Harry knew he shouldn't really be in the hospital wing, but there was no way he was going to leave. Not until he saw his father awake. The medi-witch did say that his father was out of the woods, but he wanted to see so for himself.

Dumbledore and Remus entered the hospital wing and headed towards Severus' bed, meeting Poppy on the way.

"How is he?" Dumbledore asked, concerned. He stepped up to the foot of the bed, placed his hands on the metal footboard, and looked his potions master over.

"He will eventually be fine, Albus," Poppy answered. "He's had dozens of different curses cast on him with the Cruciatus Curse being cast the most. He has three broken ribs and an arm, and every bone in his left hand is broken. Even his fingers."

"What about his right?" Remus asked, knowing the man was right handed.

Poppy flipped through several pages in Severus' medical file. "His right arm and hand are perfectly fine."

Dumbledore looked thoughtful at that revelation. "Interesting."

After glancing at Albus in confusion, Poppy continued with Severus' diagnostic results. "He also has a concussion, massive blood loss, and too many lacerations and contusions to count."

"Do we know what happened, Poppy?" Dumbledore asked.

"No. He arrived unconscious and I haven't awakened him."

"Well then, why don't we?" Dumbledore pulled out his wand and pointed it at Severus. "Rennervate."

The three watched on as Severus began to regain consciousness.

Severus became aware of only one thing as he regained consciousness. Extreme pain. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before. As memories rushed back a few moments later, he slowly began to open his eyes, but slammed them shut with a barely audible groan.

"Sorry Severus," Poppy replied, realizing the problem, then dimmed all the lights. "Go ahead."

He recognized the voice that just spoke, but couldn't quite place it. The last thing he remembered was being at Malfoy Manor and he knew for a fact that that voice did not belong there. Ever so slowly, he opened his eyes while his right hand groped around for his wand as he tried to sit up. He hissed in pain and dropped back on the bed, closing his eyes in the process; his location and now missing wand a mystery.

"Don't move. Lie still," Poppy admonished. She turned to Albus and Remus. "I swear. It's like taking care of a first year."

"Let him be, Poppy," Albus stated while moving to the side of the bed. He clasped his hands behind his back. "How are you feeling Severus?"

That was a voice Severus was able to place. "Where am I?" he croaked, eyes still closed and breathing shallowly around the pain.

"Hogwarts. The hospital wing, my boy. How do you feel?" Albus repeated.

"How do you think I feel if I'm in here?" he bit out. "I feel like I got run over by a heard of hippogriffs. How did I get here?" He finally opened his eyes and looked to the headmaster standing on his left. Upon seeing the garish lilac robes, he wished he left his eyes closed. The color was pounding through his eyes making his headache worse, if that was even possible.

Poppy walked to the table next to Severus' bed and picked up the two potions vials that were left behind from earlier. "Before any questions are answered, I need you to take these, Severus. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the pain relieving draughts earlier, but I needed to make sure you regained consciousness."

Severus stared at the vials in the medi-witch's outstretched hand and scowled. "I require no such thing."

"You do not want Poppy to force you to consume those potions do you Severus?" Dumbledore asked jovially.

"Fine," Severus answered, glaring at the headmaster. That was all he needed. It was bad enough that he currently didn't know how he arrived at the castle. He tried to sit up but laid back down when he became extremely dizzy and lightheaded.

"No need to sit up fully Severus. Just enough so you don't choke." Poppy held out the vials.

It was like he was sixteen, not thirty six. He knew how to take a potion. After giving a rather painful eye roll to Poppy, Severus roughly grabbed the vials. He raised his head slightly, while doing his best to ignore the lightheadedness and the room spinning around him, and downed the contents.

"Now your questions will be answered, Severus," she began, taking the vials back and placing them on the table. "You were found by Remus just outside the gates, bound and unconscious. He was the one who brought you up here."

"And don't worry about anyone seeing you, Severus," Remus interrupted. "Before moving you, I placed a disillusionment charm over you."

Not wanting to add to the pain he was currently in, he looked to Remus and gave a very small nod, grateful for the man's actions and discretion.

"You have massive blood loss," Poppy continued, "and many lacerations and contusions. Three of your ribs are broken, with one very close to puncturing a lung. Be thankful that didn't happen. Your left arm is broken and every bone in your left hand, including your fingers, is broken. There were over a dozen curses cast on you, with the Cruciatus Curse being cast the most often." Poppy placed the medical file on the table next to the empty vials. "I'm afraid you'll be up here for the next few days."

It only made sense that he should feel like he did with those injuries. Sinking back into the bed, Severus closed his eyes. Though extremely uncomfortable with the three in the room staring at him, he continued to lay there with his eyes closed, willing the potion to work quicker and the dizziness to stop.

"We'll give you a few minutes while the potions work. We'll be back shortly to talk about what happened." Albus left the bed and motioned for the other two to follow him into Poppy's office.

Remus ignored Albus and walked up to the bed instead. "Severus, would you like me to let Harry know what has happened? I know you always tell him when…"

"No," Severus interrupted, snapping his eyes open. That was the last thing he needed; the werewolf to find out what happened with Harry. He knew eventually the man would have to be told, but now was not the time.

"What?" he asked, taken aback at Severus' answer. "You can't be serious."

"I said no, Lupin," he reiterated forcefully. "Harry is not to know."

"But…fine," Remus amended when it looked like Severus was going to argue again. He turned around while shaking his head, and joined the other two in the medi-witch's office, closing the door behind him.

Still pressed against the wall, Harry couldn't keep his eyes off of Severus. The moment Remus had turned around, he watched in slight fascination as Severus' whole demeanor changed. The somewhat calm expression on his face took on a look of extreme pain and his breathing began to get a bit shallower. He sunk his head into his pillow while closing his eyes and his right hand grasped the bed sheet in an extremely tight fist. The fist was so tight that his knuckles were turning white.

His father was obviously still in a lot of pain, even though he was given pain relieving draughts. Severus truly was good at hiding what he didn't want others to see.

Seeing Severus in this state, Harry wished with all his heart that he could remove his cloak. He wanted to tell the man that he was sorry for what he did and said hours earlier, but he knew this wasn't the time. Besides, he really wanted to know what happened at the Death Eater meeting and revealing himself now wouldn't help him in that regard.

He was glad that Remus didn't need to go and look for him, but at the same time was severely upset. It seemed that after being yelled at in his office hours ago, Severus had truly severed all ties with him.

So lost in his thoughts, the squeaking of the office door opening a few minutes later caused Harry to jump and let out a squeak himself. He quickly placed a hand over his mouth, hoping no one heard him, and lowered himself to sit on the cold floor against the wall.

"Are you up to talking?" Dumbledore asked, returning to his spot on the left side of Severus' bed.

Severus opened his eyes unwillingly at the question. "I am," he answered, knowing the urgency of the information he needed to relate, though at that moment it was the last thing he really wanted to do. Sleeping his pain off was truly his number one priority at that moment. That, and escaping from the hospital wing.

"Good." Dumbledore pulled out his wand and conjured a squashy chair for himself and Remus. "Poppy, if you would?"

"Of course, headmaster," she replied in understanding, and went back to her office.

While Remus sat down, Dumbledore cast a Muffliato around their little partitioned area. "We don't want to be overheard now do we," he said to the unasked question. "And we do need to allow Poppy to hear anyone who happens to visit the wing."

Severus sat up a little, uncomfortable with lying down in front of the two men. "As you can no doubt guess, the Dark Lord called a meeting. Only the Inner Circle were in attendance. He knows that this Saturday most students will be leaving for home for the spring holiday and passing through Hogsmeade. He has planned an attack on the village at noon and was adamant that you and Potter will not live to see the end of the day."

"Well, I will keep myself here in the castle then. And since Harry is staying at the castle for the break, he won't be in Hogsmeade anyway. There is nothing to worry about." Dumbledore stated, a little too happily.

"Are you really that daft Albus? There is nothing to worry about?" Severus questioned, though he knew the answer to those questions. "Do you care nothing of the innocent people he plans to murder in his hunt for Potter?" When the headmaster said nothing, Severus shook his head and looked away in disgust. "Obviously not," he muttered to himself. "If Potter is not at Hogsmeade, the Dark Lord will then attack the castle to get him. I am not sure what his plans are for you." He looked up to Albus. "Though, he said your death is under way."

Dumbledore's smile finally disappeared and he looked at Severus seriously. "There will not be an attack here at the castle and Harry will not be going to Hogsmeade on Saturday. We have two days to formulate a plan. We'll call our first Order meeting later tonight once you've rested a bit more Severus. Also, I will make sure someone covers your classes these next two days."

"I cannot attend any type of meeting, headmaster. It is imperative that I re-brew the potion that exploded over the past weekend. The Dark Lord has given me a deadline of 8pm on Friday, and I must meet it."

"Ah. That would explain why there is no damage to your right hand," Remus stated, in understanding. If Voldemort wanted a potion, he would darn well make sure Severus would be able to brew.

"About that," Dumbledore interrupted. "Could you please fill us in with what happened at that meeting? Why did you arrive here unconscious?"

"The moment I entered the room for the meeting, the Dark Lord performed Legilimency, as per his usual." Severus paused, having a hard time with what he was about to admit. He took a deep breath before continuing. "I was not prepared."

"That is highly unlike you Severus," Albus admonished, his eyes cold as he looked at his potions master. "What is your excuse?"

"The only thing I will admit to you is that I was distracted upon my arrival." Severus had to turn his eyes away from the headmaster, not liking the look he was given. He instead stared at the footboard of his bed. "The memories that the Dark Lord had viewed were not the most favorable to my position as spy. I tried to construct a reason for what he had seen, but I am more than certain that I was not successful."

A pit began to form in Harry's stomach at those words. He had a feeling he knew exactly what distraction the man was talking about. Now he began to feel even guiltier about what he'd said right before Severus left for the Death Eater meeting. At the time, he would have been ecstatic at finding out the professor was injured. Now, however, that was the last thing he wanted to hear. His father's life was in danger more than it was previously and he was in this state because of him. Because of something he said in anger. Maybe it was better that they didn't have a relationship at all. At that realization, and with a loud rushing in his ears, Harry quickly and quietly left the hospital wing in desperate need of air. Once he was outside in the corridor, he took off running.

"What memory did he see, Severus?" Remus asked from his chair beside Dumbledore, unaware that Harry had just left the room.

"That is not relevant for this meeting Lupin. Suffice it to say, whatever he saw was more than enough to out myself as a spy." He moved his eyes from the end of the bed to the werewolf then finally turned his attention back to the headmaster. "The meeting turned from Saturday's plans to the potion he had me brewing. He was most displeased when I told him about the potion exploding and not having a chance to research why."

"To make a long story short, and to not bore you with all the details, the potion may be my only chance to redeem myself." Severus sat up a little bit more. "I _must_ brew this potion before Friday. As much as I prefer not having to serve him, I will continue to do so until he is vanquished. This potion may help us in that endeavor. You should know, however, that whether or not I brew this potion, I will more than likely not live to see past this Saturday as well. As it stands, I do not fully understand why I am alive right now. The Dark Lord never hesitates in cleaning up his ranks. This potion is obviously extremely important to him."

"Those are the words I was hoping to hear from you, Severus," Albus stated, seeming very pleased with Severus' life being in jeopardy.

Severus turned his attention to the headmaster and just stared at him. It was true that he just told the man he would brew the potion, but still. If it wasn't for ensuring Harry a future without the Dark Lord, Severus would have jumped from the bed, given Dumbledore a piece of his mind, walked off the castle grounds for the final time, and gone in to hiding, never to be seen from again. It was blatantly obvious what he meant to the headmaster. He was a tool, just as Harry was, to the man. His life meant nothing.

"You can't be serious, Dumbledore," Remus said in shock.

Albus looked to Remus. "Oh, but I am, Remus. Very." He turned back to Severus. "You still haven't answered my question though, Severus. How did you come into this state?"

Still staring at Albus, Severus shook his head in disbelief. "You were in the same room as me. You heard Poppy's report. I had curses thrown at me. Isn't it a bit obvious?" he asked shortly. "I blacked out and lost consciousness right around the time I was given the deadline for the potion."

Leaning forward, Dumbledore studied Severus for a moment. "I know there is more to it than that, Severus," he stated, a hard tone to his voice. "And I require that you disclose what memories were seen."

Before Severus could even open his mouth to protest, the hospital wing doors flew open, and a hysterical voice began calling out for the medi-witch to help with an accident in the Great Hall.

"I better go along," Dumbledore said while standing up and vanishing the chair he was seated in. "We will continue this discussion at a later time."

Remus stood and vanished his chair as well. "I'll let you rest."

Severus ignored the two and sunk back down in the bed with his eyes closed. He'd wait a few more minutes before showing himself out.

~SH~

Harry didn't know where he was running. He just knew he needed to get out of the castle. He could barely breathe. Seeing the massive entry doors in front of him, Harry raced through them and out into the cold evening. He knew he wasn't supposed to be outside the castle, but he didn't care in the least. He had more important things to worry about then getting a detention.

Near the lake, he tripped over a large rock and stumbled to the ground. Instead of getting back up, he crawled over to a nearby tree and sat with his back against the trunk. With his invisibility cloak still over him, he wrapped his arms around his legs and buried his head in his knees.

Now one more person that he loved was hurt because of him. He hadn't thought about it in quite a while, but he again wished that Voldemort succeeded in killing him all those years ago. It would have saved everyone he loved from being hurt, or worse, being killed.

While thoughts of all the people who lost their life or were injured because of him floated through his mind, Harry lifted his head out of his knees. With help from the moon, he watched the giant squid play on the surface of the Black Lake. He sat watching the squid for about a half hour when clouds began to roll in and a light drizzle started.

When the rain became harder, Harry finally stood up and slowly trudged back up to the castle. With his cloak still covering him, he wandered up to the Gryffindor tower, entered and headed straight to him dorm room. If anyone noticed the door opening and closing by itself, he didn't notice.

Upon reaching the dorm, he climbed onto his bed, pulled the curtains closed and then curled into a ball under his blankets. He didn't care that he was soaking wet or was lying in wet clothes. All he cared about was talking to Severus and telling him how sorry he was for what he said.

Earlier he had decided that it was better that he didn't have a relationship with Severus, but he knew deep down that was not what he wanted. He wanted Severus in his life. He just hoped the man would listen to what he had to say.

~SH~

After about five minutes, Severus slowly sat up in bed, his muscles hardly protesting, though the lightheadedness was still there. He glanced down and was glad to see that he was still wearing his clothes and not one of Poppy's famous hospital gowns. Shakily standing up, he spotted his wand on the side table. He picked it up and walked out of the hospital wing and down to the dungeons very slowly.

He desperately needed to brew the potion, but knew he was in no shape to do so at the moment. The long trek tired him out immensely. Instead he went directly to his quarters to rest for a while. The moment he entered, he flicked his wand at the fireplace and door, casting a spell so he wouldn't be disturbed when Poppy or Albus discovered him missing from the hospital wing.

Entering the hallway, his eyes were drawn to Harry's bedroom. With a heavy heart, he walked to the doorway and looked inside, truly hoping that he would see Harry sitting on the bed. When a huge lump formed in his throat upon finding the room empty, he quickly turned around and closed the door. He would deal with the room later.

While walking into his bedroom, he removed the Death Eater robes and let them drop to the floor just inside the door. At this point, he wasn't worried about what they would look like the next time he was called. A simple de-wrinkling spell would be good enough for when he would need to wear them again…more than likely for the last time.

As quickly as his body would allow, he went to his bed. He let out a groan of pleasure as his head hit the pillow. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he really should have stayed in the hospital wing. His body was definitely not ready for all the exertion he just put it through.

Before succumbing to sleep, he cast an alarm to wake him in a few hours so he could begin brewing the potion. With any luck it would explode while the Dark Lord was carrying it.

~SH~

Having missed dinner the night before, Harry arrived at the Great Hall Thursday morning right at the start of breakfast. Luckily there was hardly anyone seated at the Gryffindor table so he had his pick of spots. He took a seat close to the doors and hoped everyone would leave him alone. He was not in the mood for conversation. If it wasn't for being extremely hungry, he would have skipped the meal entirely.

While cutting up some banana for his cereal, he felt a presence. He looked up and spotted Remus standing on the other side of the table.

"Hi Harry," Remus said somewhat solemnly. "When you are through with breakfast, please join me in my office. I have something I need to discuss with you."

"Um…sure. Is half an hour okay?" Harry had an idea what the discussion might be about and wasn't looking forward to it at all.

"That is fine. Enjoy your breakfast." Remus gave Harry a forced smile and headed up to the staff table.

Thirty minutes later Harry was seated in a chair in front of Remus' desk, ringing his hands, with Remus sitting next to him.

Remus didn't say anything at first. He just sat there looking intently at Harry. "I first want to say, I do not know why you ditched some of your classes yesterday, but that is not what I really want to talk about. Besides, that is your Head's responsibility."

Harry nodded, glad his ditching wasn't the topic of conversation as he had feared.

Still debating on whether or not what he was about to reveal was the right thing to do, Remus sighed. Severus told him not to say anything to Harry, but Harry had a right to know what happened to his father. "I want to talk about Severus."

At those words, Harry looked down sadly and bit his lip, a tight knot beginning to form in his stomach. He did not want to talk about what happened yesterday, especially with Lupin. He wanted to see if he could fix it before he mentioned it to his Defense professor. "Okay."

"I don't know if you're aware," Remus began, "but last night Severus was called to a Death Eater meeting."

"I did know. I was in detention with him when he was called."

"Did he notify you when he returned? I know that's the first thing he usually does now when he returns. He really hates to see you worry over him."

Harry shook his head. "No. He didn't tell me. Neither did anyone else."

"I thought that he would…" He paused and shook his head. "Never mind. While at the meeting he was hurt pretty bad. He arrived on the Hogwarts grounds unconscious last night. What you came to me about last night was actually him returning."

Knowing he had to act like he knew nothing, Harry looked up to Remus in alarm. "He was hurt? Is he okay? Will he be okay? Where is he? Can I go see him?"

"Slow down Harry. As I said, he was hurt pretty bad. He's had massive blood loss and has many broken bones. Many of which I hope are almost healed. He will be fine with plenty of rest. He's currently in the hospital wing and…"

"Can I see him? Please?" Harry asked while sitting up straighter in his chair. He really needed an opportunity to see his father again and talk to him.

Remus looked at Harry sadly. There was no way he could tell the boy seated in front of him that Severus did not want him to know he was injured. That meant his only option was to lie. "It would be best if he had no visitors at this time."

Harry's face fell. He knew last night that Severus didn't want him knowing, but it still hurt to be told that, in so many words. "Do you know when I could see him?"

"I do not have an answer for you. With the condition he is in, it's hard to say. I will speak with Madam Pomfrey and when she gives the go ahead for visitors, I will let you know immediately."

"Okay. If you see my dad, could you please tell him that I'm sorry?" Harry stopped and swallowed thickly. Those words being the only thought in his mind since last night. "And I hope he gets better quick? And that I'm thinking about him?"

"Of course," Remus lied. He knew it wasn't right to lead Harry on, but he really didn't want the boy to be in the dark.

"Thank you." Harry glanced at the clock on the side wall. "I better get going. Classes will be starting and I still need to go up and get my books."

'You will be going to classes today?" Remus asked as he stood up.

"Yeah," Harry replied sheepishly.

"See that you do." Remus walked to his office door and held it open for Harry. After Harry rounded the corner, he closed the door and leaned against it. He only hoped he wouldn't regret telling Harry about Severus.

~SH~

As Severus woke up, he became aware of a loud, annoying beeping. It took a moment before he could place it, but when he did, he snapped his eyes open. He glanced at the clock on his side table and swore under his breath. The alarm he had placed last night to go off after a few hours, had been going off for five. He had slept for more than eight hours! Grumbling about wasted time, he slowly got out of bed, took a quick shower and obtained breakfast from the house elves before heading to his private lab.

Three hours later, Severus swore loudly and threw his stirrer across the room. It smashed into two empty vials on the counter before landing on the ground. This was his third attempt at brewing the potion and he had again messed it up. "This is unbelievable!" he yelled. Fed up, he turned off the flame under the cauldron, vanished the ruined potion inside, and left the lab for his quarters.

Slamming the door behind him, Severus went immediately to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of firewhiskey. It may have only been a bit before noon, but drinking at this time of day was the least of his worries. With glass in hand, he sunk into his chair in front of the fireplace and ran a hand over his aching forehead. He sat with his elbows on his knees, head in one hand while he held his glass.

For the first time in Severus' life, his concentration was not on what it should be. When he would find his mind wandering while brewing, he would try to change its direction. It obviously hadn't worked. He knew he could not continue on like this. He had no room for distraction. This potion, and what he needed to accomplish on Saturday, were too important.

With one more sip from his glass, Severus quickly got up, went to his study, penned a note to Remus, and sent it off with a house elf.

A half hour later, at the start of lunch, Severus was pacing in Remus' office while Remus sat behind his desk watching him. After a few minutes, Severus stopped and faced Remus. "I've thought hard about this. And this is the only option. I do not trust myself in this matter so I require your assistance."

Those words got Remus' attention. He sat up straighter in his chair, never having remembered Severus asking for his help in anything. "My assistance? What in Merlin's name would require you to ask for _my_ assistance?"

"I need to you to remove all the memories of everything that has happened to me since I received Lily's letter last year and replace them with altered memories. I do not trust myself with this task."

"What?" Remus asked shocked, while standing up from his desk and walking around to the front. "You're joking right?"

"I am entirely serious. I need you to remove all my real memories since that day in October and replace them with altered memories. The sooner the better."

Remus sat on his desk top and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Enlighten me, please. What possible reason could you have that would require the need to remove and alter your memories?"

"I need to have my full concentration on my upcoming tasks. I cannot do that as it stands right now." Having been facing away from Remus, Severus turned around. "I have been brewing the potion unsuccessfully for the last three hours!"

Remus raised his eyebrows and looked at Severus in surprise. Brewing unsuccessfully was a rare occurrence for the potions master. "And what of Harry?" he asked after his initial surprise. Harry was currently more important to him then whatever Severus' reasoning was. "Does he really need to suffer because of your actions? Have you considered what this would even do to him?"

"Harry will be ecstatic" Severus shouted, his emotions getting the better of him. "It's what he wants anyway." His limited strength, due to his injuries, now spent, Severus sunk into the nearest chair and buried his face in his hands. "He will be grateful for my decision."

Remus stared at the potions master, his anger quickly dissipating. There was obviously more to this request then the man was letting on. "Why do you want me to do this?" he asked quietly.

"I cannot spend my final days feeling like this," Severus answered after several moments. He raised his head from his hands and looked to Remus, his eyes pleading. "I know this sounds like I am a coward, but I am not. I know I should be the adult and take on the responsibility of being Harry's father, but I have learned that…" he paused when his voice cracked, then cleared his throat. "I have learned that Harry will never see me as such. It would cause me too much pain to continue with my current feelings and memories. It is the reason why I can't brew the potion and it would be detrimental to my task on Saturday."

"What pain, Severus? I still don't understand," Remus repeated.

"I went to the Ministry of Magic and drafted a variation of adoption papers, papers to legally claim Harry as my biological son. I was going to present them to Harry last night at his detention and also explain my awful behavior toward him these past few weeks. I didn't have a chance to say more than a few words before he started telling me how he really felt. Yelling, actually. As I was leaving after being summoned only a few minutes in to the detention, he in a round about way said he does not want to be my son."

That just didn't sound right to Remus, especially with the few words he exchanged with Harry that morning. "I don't understand, Severus. I didn't get that feeling at all when I spoke with him this morning. He seemed genuinely concerned about you when I told him you were hurt."

Severus whipped his head over to Remus. "You told the boy, even after I said not to?"

"I'm sorry, Severus. But Harry had a right to know. And it didn't seem at all like he hated you. He even told me to tell you that he was sorry and that he hoped you got better soon."

"I don't care what you think, Remus. I was in that room with Harry. _I_ listened to every word he said and how he said it. He hates me and does not want to be my son."

"So you're not going to tell Harry you're doing this?"

"Of course not. There is no reason to. Remember, I will not live to see the end of Saturday. My feelings toward Harry for these next few days won't even be an issue for him. I just need to be in the right mindset and this…this pain, these feelings, are not a part of it."

Remus stood up and went back to his desk chair. He didn't know what Severus had planned for Saturday, but he knew the man was right. Vanquishing Voldemort was the number one priority. Reluctantly, he agreed that he should grant Severus' final wishes. "Fine, Severus. I'm not happy with your decision, but I will assist you with this. When are you planning on completing the charm?"

Severus stood up and looked at Remus gratefully. "I can't begin to thank you enough, Remus. Allow me enough time to remove every bit of evidence from my home, quarters and office relating to Harry being my son. Would you meet me in my office in an hour?"

"Yes. But Severus, what happens if you survive?"

Without answering or wanting to think on it, Severus left Remus' office and quickly made his way to his own quarters.

~SH~

Remus sat at his desk trying to decide if he was doing the right thing. Severus' reasoning seemed sound. But on the off chance that the potions master did survive Saturday, what would happen then? He only hoped that Severus' opinion of Harry's feelings were true.

Glancing at the clock, he stood up and headed out of his office. The situation was causing a migraine to form and he had finished his final vial of headache reliever a few days ago. He needed to go up to the hospital wing before heading down to the dungeons.

~SH~

Harry had just finished his lunch Thursday afternoon. He looked up to the staff table and didn't see his father or Professor Lupin up there. That meant that his father, at least, was still in the hospital wing. Even though he didn't get an okay from Lupin and it hadn't even been a day after Severus was brought up to the hospital wing, he really needed to see his father. These past few hours had been pure torture. He really needed to talk to Severus and apologize. He couldn't wait any longer.

Glancing again at the staff table and seeing the medi-witch having lunch, and with forty-five minutes until his next class, Harry quickly left the Great Hall and went up to the hospital wing. Hopefully no one but his father would be inside. If there were others, he'd just run up to his dorm and get his invisibility cloak.

Quietly opening the door, Harry entered the hospital wing. Seeing no patients, he slowly walked over to the curtained off area where Severus was lying last night and came to a sudden stop. The bed was empty and looked like it had been for some time.

He stared at the made bed in confusion. Remus had said that he'd tell him when it was okay for his father to have visitors. It didn't make any sense. If Severus couldn't have any visitors yet, why wasn't he in the bed?

The first reason that came to him had his stomach in knots. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of that thought. Maybe Severus snuck out and went to finish recuperating in their quarters. Hoping that was the case, Harry decided to head down to the dungeons.

Having just finished leaving a note on Madam Pomfrey's desk, Remus stepped out of her office with two vials of headache reliever in his hands. "Harry!" he stated in surprise, upon seeing Harry in front of the bed Severus had occupied last night.

Harry turned around quickly, the empty bed now behind him. It was almost like his thoughts of the professor made the man appear.

"What brings you up here?" He looked Harry up and down with concern. "I hope you're not ill or injured."

"No, I'm fine professor," Harry said distracted. "Um…I was hoping you could tell me where my father is."

"I'm sorry Harry, but you just missed him. He left a few minutes ago for his quarters," he lied.

"Thank you professor." Harry then turned around again to leave the hospital wing.

"Harry, if you're going down to see Severus, I must advise against it."

Harry twirled around and faced Remus, curious. "Why?"

"He's…he's preparing…" Remus stopped and ran a hand through his hair, clearly agitated. He realized he had no right telling the boy what Severus was doing. "He's going down to rest and can't be disturbed."

"He can rest up here. And knowing Madam Pomfrey, she wouldn't have released him so soon. I've stayed here longer when I just had a cold," Harry said. "Why did he leave?" he asked again, sensing his professor's unease.

"I already told you Harry."

"Well, I don't think he'd mind if I stopped by. I've got something extremely important to talk to him about."

"I'm sorry, Harry, but you cannot go see the professor now." He looked at the boy sadly. "Why don't you wait for a few days? Let him fully recuperate."

"This can't wait!" Harry took in the sad look on Remus' face. His legs began to turn to jelly and his stomach clenched. "What are you not telling me?" he asked, voice shaking. His fear from earlier returned full force. "Why did my father leave?"

"I already told you, Harry. He's resting." Remus started walking towards the exit hoping he wouldn't have to divulge anything else.

"You're lying, professor. Please. Please tell me the truth." Harry wished he knew what could have possibly happened to his father for Remus to not want him to see him. It's not like he knew what happened yesterday afternoon between the two of them. "I…I just need to know. Is he going to be all right?" he asked desperately. "He's not…he didn't…" He paused, not able to voice his fears. "He needs to be all right."

"He's perfectly healthy Harry," Remus said, turning around slightly, though almost over the threshold.

"Then why won't you let me see him?" he yelled, though relieved his father was at least still alive.

Remus sighed and turned around fully. He looked at Harry and saw the expression on his face. The boy needed to know the truth. He'd deal with the consequences of Severus' wrath later. He walked over to Harry and gestured to the bed behind him. "Please, sit down." He took a seat next to Harry. "Severus came to me this afternoon with a request. A request that ultimately concerns you, Harry."

"Me? I don't understand."

"Because of certain…circumstances, he has asked me to remove all of his memories concerning everything that transpired since he received that letter from your mother back in October. I'm to replace them with altered ones. I cannot change his mind."

Harry jumped up from the bed. "What?" he asked in disbelief, hurt lacing his voice. "Why? Why would he consider doing such a thing? I don't understand."

"He wishes to forget he and Lily had been in love, almost got married, and…and everything else the letter stated." Remus stopped speaking and looked at Harry, hoping the boy understood what was not said. Besides, Harry didn't need to know part of the reason for Severus wanting his memories changed. "Like sixteen years earlier, he knew he couldn't live with the pain of having to give that life up. This time he knew it would be even more painful to have to go on living with the memories. This time, he knows what he'd be missing." He stood up and put a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"You know," he whispered to himself and stood there in shock just staring a Remus for a few moments. Then he comprehended what everything the man said meant. Severus wanted to forget that he was his son and family. "What! He can't do that. He can't do that…I've got to talk to him! I didn't mean what I said. I didn't mean it!"

Before Remus could let out one more word, Harry ran out the door. After Harry disappeared from his sight, he dropped his head. His only wish at that point was that Harry could get through to Severus since he knew he couldn't.

~SH~

On Harry's way down to the dungeons, he knew the last place his father would probably go was their quarters. More than likely the man would be in his office or in the potions classroom. He stopped first at Severus' office and knocked on the door, but received no response. Feeling way too bold, but not caring if he was going to receive a detention, Harry quickly tried the doorknob to get in. It was locked.

He pounded on the door a few times while calling out for the professor. When it was met with silence, he took off to the potion's classroom. Not finding him there either, he closed the classroom door and ran to their quarters. He tried to enter, but the door was locked. The fact that he couldn't get in the door on Wednesday didn't cross his mind in the least. He banged on this door a few times as well. Like Severus' office, there was no answer.

Now almost hysterical, Harry ran up through the dungeons to get to their quarters' entrance off the secret passageway. He placed his hand on the door and waited for the click. When after thirty seconds with his hand on the door, it never clicked unlocked, he tried the door knob as well. It didn't budge. He then began pounding on the door non stop. "Professor Snape!" he yelled, while still pounding on the door. "Please let me in. I'm sorry." His voice became more desperate the more he yelled. "Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please don't change out your memories. Please, dad. Please!" he begged. When his breath started to hitch and his knuckles started to bleed, he finally stopped.

Leaning part of his forehead on the door and his fist uncurling so his whole palm was on the door, Harry slowly slid down to the ground, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. There was now nothing he could do. He was too late. In a few minutes all his hopes and dreams would be shattered and it was all his fault. He had ruined any chance he had at having a loving family just because of a few words he said, but didn't really mean.

One phrase the Dursley's always told him all throughout his early childhood began to run through his head. _Someone like you will never be part of a loving family._ Those words never seemed truer. Burying his head in his knees, Harry's tears turned to sobs, his entire body beginning to shake uncontrollably.

Half an hour later Harry's crying finally turned to hitched breaths and the occasional tear. Wiping the residual tears off his face, he got up from the cold floor. Feeling extremely hollow, he began walking back to the entrance of the passageway.

After exiting the passageway, he stopped off at the boy's restroom and splashed some water on his red, blotchy face. It wasn't until then that he noticed his bleeding knuckles. He rinsed them off and wrapped a paper towel around them. Knowing he wasn't going to be attending classes, as that was the last place he wanted to be, he headed up to Gryffindor tower, but then quickly changed his mind. It would be too soon before the tower was crawling with his House mates. Wanting to be somewhere by himself for the unforeseeable future, he went to the only place he knew he'd find that.

Not wanting to be seen, though classes had more than likely resumed, Harry quickly made his way up to the seventh floor. He walked back in forth in front of the blank wall three times then watched the door materialize in front of him. He entered and closed the door quickly behind him. His throat began to sear in pain and his vision became blurry the moment he saw what the Room of Requirement provided. It was completely unexpected.

It was an exact replica of his room at Spinner's End, right down to the view from the two windows and the attached restroom. As painful as it was, this was the only place Harry truly wanted to be. Slowly, he made his way to the bed, toed off his shoes, then curled into a ball under the blankets. His tears made a reappearance seconds later.

~SH~

Severus entered his quarters and again warded them from any visitors. Feeling numb and trying his hardest to put all his feelings into the far recesses of his mind, he began the difficult task of vanishing every item that would remind him of Harry. He started in the kitchen and proceeded through the living room, study and hallway.

Before sealing the door to Harry's bedroom, he walked inside. Standing in the middle, he looked around the room, his chest extremely tight. Even though the room was a mess, he could tell that everything could stay inside. He wouldn't need any of it. Before his emotions got the better of him, he quickly turned around and left the room. With a trembling wave of his wand and a choked voice, a grinding sound began and stones appeared in front of the bedroom door and the secret passageway door. Within moments, the only rooms off the hall were his bedroom and the restroom.

Swallowing thickly, Severus left his quarters and went to his office. After arriving and without looking inside, he pointed his wand and the rubbish bin. Black smoke started to waft up only to disappear moments later. He nodded in satisfaction when he looked inside and saw a pile of ashes.

Eyes landing on his desk, he tentatively stepped over. With a painful swallow, he removed the letter and bottle from the cardboard box and placed them into his pocket. With a wave of his wand, the cardboard box vanished. Walking around his office, his eyes studying the room intently, he was satisfied that all aspects of Harry were gone. He grabbed the Pensive and returned to his quarters. His next, and final stop, was his home. With Pensieve in hand, he entered his fireplace and flooed to Spinner's End.

After stepping out of his fireplace, Severus went immediately to Harry's bedroom. He had one more thing he needed to do before removing the final bit of evidence from his house, and this was the only place he could do it.

Severus walked over to the coffee table in front of the fireplace in the sitting area of the bedroom and set the Pensieve down. He sat down in the loveseat and pulled out the letter and bottle from his pocket. He read through the letter once, unstoppered the bottle and poured the contents into the Pensieve. Closing his eyes, he lowered his head inside the Pensieve to relive his memories one last time.

Fifteen minutes later Severus sunk back down in the loveseat and buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking.

* * *

_I am so sorry for the delay in updating. I feel terrible. I can only say that I hate RL. Doesn't it know that writing fanfics is more important? LOL I hope this long chapter made up for my lack of updates. Again I leave you all on a cliffhanger, but it wasn't my intention. The chapter was getting way too long and this was the only logical place to end._

_Thank you all for the reviews, alerts, favorites, and C2s. Like always, I'm overwhelmed at it all. I usually try to respond to all my reviews, but at times that is not possible. There was one reviewer who I really wanted to respond to, but because of how their account is set up, I couldn't, so I need to do it here. I'm not one to leave responses to reviews in their story, but this is my one exception. _

_Rosebook, I really wanted to respond to your review. It has stuck with me over these past few weeks and I go back and read it often. There have actually been a few times where I wanted to just forget about the story for a while, but whenever I read your review, it makes me want to continue writing. I can't begin tell you enough how much your words mean to me. Thank you!  
_


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

A full bladder awoke Harry, though he didn't remember even falling asleep. Urgently needing the facilities, he got up and used the restroom. More awake, he walked back into the bedroom and noticed the light in the room was more amber compared to when he first arrived in the room. Glancing at the clock on the night table, he was surprised to see three hours had passed. All that crying must have taken a lot out of him.

Still wanting to be by himself, he settled into one of the window seats and watched the birds flit about outside. In one of the upper branches of the tree nearest him, he spotted a nest with three baby birds hopping about. The sight made him smile for the first time in days.

When he spotted a larger bird, obviously the mother, return to the nest and begin to feed the babies, his smile disappeared. Even birds could have a family, while he could not. Harry shook his head to try and remove that thought from his mind. Having already lived fifteen years without any real family, he knew he could continue to do so. Besides, he only had one more year living with the Dursley's before he would come of age and be out on his own anyway.

As Harry continued to look out the window, the trees, clouds and birds began to blur and disappear. A moment later the view out of the window was of the Hogwarts Quidditch pitch. He narrowed his eyes as he looked at one of the far hoops. Never before had he seen a spelled window change views like that. But then again, he was in the Room of Requirement. Maybe it worked a little differently in this room.

Wanting to test out something, he closed his eyes and thought of a carnival. Seconds later he opened his eyes. "Brilliant," he said in surprise. Outside the window, in the center, was a large Ferris wheel. About ten other rides surrounded it. To the left of all the rides was a small food court, and to the right were rows of carnival game booths. This room really did provide what the person wanted! Not just when that person was outside, but when they were inside as well. He wondered if Hermione knew that, and couldn't wait to tell her.

Knowing what would make him feel a little bit better, he stood up from the window seat and walked over to the door of the room. He closed his eyes again while thinking of Quidditch. When he opened them, he was standing at one end of a Quidditch pitch, right behind three of the six hoops. The pitch was a lot smaller than the one outside the castle, but as he looked around, he knew he could still fly pretty high and wide before he would hit the ceiling or walls. In front of him on the grass lay an exact replica of his Firebolt. "I love magic," he shouted, as he ran to the broom with a small smile on his face.

Within seconds he was flying through the air, all his worries behind him. Nothing mattered except for flying. After a few turns around the pitch, he saw something glinting in the late afternoon sunlight far to his left. Recognizing it as a snitch, he smiled and shot after it. For the next few hours, Harry's only thought was on flying and catching and releasing the snitch.

His stomach grumbling finally put an end to his fun in the air. He slowed down to the ground and hopped off the broom. Setting it gently on the ground, he closed his eyes. When he opened them moments later, he was in his dorm room in the Gryffindor tower. On his bedside table was a tray holding a plate with a hamburger, chips, a glass of water and a chocolate shake. Smiling at the meal, he began to bounce over to his bed, only to stop after two steps. He was sore from his flying, a painful sign that he hadn't been flying as often as he used to, and was extremely sweaty. Not wanting to eat in that state, he turned and headed to the showers.

After a relaxing hot shower, he slipped into some pajamas that were lying on his bed. Grabbing the tray of food, he sat on his bed to begin to eat. He frowned as he grabbed the shake. The glass felt like paper, cardboard almost. Disappointed, he set it back on the tray. He picked up some chips and noticed the same thing. The room obviously couldn't provide him actual food.

Stomach growling again, Harry got up and went to the door. He opened it just a crack and looked out. Seeing the corridor empty, he leaned out and called for Dobby. He'd ask the house-elf to bring him some dinner.

Two minutes later Harry returned to his place on the bed with a tray in hand. Already having a taste for the food he thought was on the tray, he had asked Dobby to get him that. In the event it wasn't possible, he gave an alternative. He wasn't too sure if house elves could acquire Muggle food. Sitting back on the bed, he took the lid off the tray and smiled. It was his hamburger, chips, chocolate shake and water. He savored every bite knowing that he probably wouldn't be able to eat this type of food for quite a while. As it was, this was only the second time in his entire life that he got a meal like this.

Once he had his fill, he set the almost empty tray back on his night table. A few seconds later it vanished out of sight with a pop, to be replaced by a few thin books. Picking them up, he was happy to see they were Quidditch magazines as well as a few Muggle comics. Staring at the comics, he began to wonder how they appeared; both the comics and the very non-Hogwarts dinner. He'd have to ask Severus. At that thought, he felt a stab in his chest, knowing he'd never be able to ask the man anything ever again. He did not want to think of that.

He closed his eyes and shook his head to rid himself of that depressing thought. Grabbing the comics, he settled into his bed to read. He'd always wanted to read some of his cousin's comics back at Privet Drive, but he never got the chance. He had come close once, but he'd been spotted by Dudley. Dudley, of course, had told his father, Vernon. After his uncle was done with his so-called talk with him that night, Harry never went looking for his cousin's comics again.

Even though he had woken up a bit ago, the warm shower, full belly, and stress of the past few hours finally caught up with Harry. He barely got half way through the comic before it slid down to his lap and his head lolled back as he drifted off to sleep.

~SH~

Severus continued to shake with the realization of what he had almost done. For the life of him, he couldn't understand why it took him viewing his real memories to realize it. He was always on Harry about thinking before acting, yet he himself didn't follow that advice. He was never one to act rash, so, though it was a far cry from an excuse, his emotional state must have had a huge amount of influence on his actions.

What would have happened had he just destroyed his real memories in the bottle and had Remus go through with his request? The thought made him so sick that he almost retched right where he was.

Breathing deeply to hold the nausea at bay, his ribs began to ache in protest. The injuries he received yesterday were unfortunately beginning to make a reappearance. Running a hand over his face, he stood up. He went into his bedroom and rummaged through one of his night tables looking for a pain reliever. Finding one, he quickly uncorked it and downed it in one gulp. Closing his eyes for a few seconds, he took a deep shaky breath. When the pain started to recede a little, he opened his eyes and returned to Harry's bedroom.

Sinking back down in the loveseat, he stared at the Pensieve in front of him. He couldn't do it. He could not remove Harry from his life. Harry _was_ his life. It didn't matter if the boy would never see him as a father figure. He still wanted to be there looking after him, making sure he was well, seeing him laugh, seeing him grow up.

At that last thought, Severus' breath caught in his throat. If the Dark Lord succeeded with his plan of killing him on Saturday, he wouldn't be around to see Harry grow up. He would never see Harry graduate from Hogwarts, and never know if he got married and had children of his own. He would never even know if the Dark Lord got defeated or eventually killed Harry.

Severus knew that was not an option for him and he would do everything in his power to make sure he was around. He would brew the potion, and in two days, succeed in his plan to finally rid the world of the Dark Lord. All would be for Harry.

With a new determination, Severus pulled his wand out of his robes. He lowered it to the surface of his memories swirling about inside the Pensieve, and after the memories attached, raised the tip to his left temple. He closed his eyes as the memories returned to where they always belonged. After conjuring an empty vial, he again placed his wand at his temple and this time, removed his altered memories. He placed the memories into the empty vial and vanished it all. There was now no turning back.

Sinking back into the loveseat, he sat with his eyes closed relieving everything that had happened since that fateful Halloween night last year. As much as it pained him that Harry didn't want him as a father, he would continue to honor that roll. A roll he would defend with his life if the need arose.

Severus began to feel more at ease then he had for weeks. Even though thoughts of Harry sabotaged his brewing earlier, he knew there would be no problem brewing here. For some reason, he knew this would be the only place he would be successful.

After a few minutes, he went to the desk and rummaged around for some parchment, a quill, and ink. Finding the items, he penned two quick notes. The first was to Remus, letting him know that he changed his mind and that he wouldn't be needed anymore. The other was to Albus, notifying him that he would be away from the castle for the rest of the day, and more than likely all of tomorrow.

With notes in hand, he flooed to his office where he had a house elf deliver them. Making a stop at his potions stores, he gathered any items he would need for the potion and returned to Spinner's End.

He set the box of ingredients on the table in his lab and went to retrieve a cauldron. As the lab hadn't been used in a while, all the supplies and instruments were put away. He got down on his knees to pull the cauldron out of a lower shelf in the cabinet when his entire torso and left arm erupted in a stabbing pain. Clenching his eyes closed and breathing shallowly, he stood up, leaving the cauldron in the cabinet, and left the lab. His body was not yet ready for brewing. Deciding to down another pain reliever and rest for a few hours to allow his body to continue healing, Severus left the lab and went to his bed.

~SH~

Remus knocked on the door to Severus' office for the fifth time, but like the previous four knocks, no one answered. He looked at his watch wondering where the man could be. Severus was ten minutes late and it wasn't like him. Severus was always punctual.

Shaking his head, he looked at his watch again. Afternoon classes were to begin in fifteen minutes and he had to prepare his classroom. He couldn't wait any longer. Knocking one last time, he waited a minute before heading up to his classroom. Severus could come looking for him if he was needed.

Ten minutes into his class, a house elf appeared and handed him a note. Being in the middle of a practical lesson, he set the note on his desk to read at a more opportune time and continued on with the lesson. When there was five minutes left of class, he collected his student's homework assignments and set them on the desk, ultimately hiding the note. By the time the room was empty and he could think, he had forgotten about the note entirely.

It wasn't until classes were done for the day and he was in his office separating everything that was taken from his classroom into piles when he spotted the note. He immediately set aside the homework and tests and read it. "Thank Merlin you finally came to your senses, Severus," he said smiling. "Harry will be relieved. Harry!" Remus dropped the note and quickly left his office, locking it behind him. Though Harry said he was going to go find Severus and talk to him, Remus had a feeling that never happened. He needed to find Harry and let him know Severus changed his mind. The boy seemed completely devastated when he was told what Severus had wanted to do.

Not really knowing where Harry would be after classes, he first went up to Gryffindor tower. Luckily for him, Hermione was just entering the common room as he got there so there was no need to go to Minerva. "Hermione," he called out.

Hermione stopped with one foot through the portrait hole and turned around, pushing a few loose strands of hair behind her left ear. "Hi Professor Lupin."

"Could you please do me a favor and fetch Harry?"

"Um, I actually haven't seen him since lunch." She stepped away from the portrait hole. "He never showed up to any of his classes this afternoon. I'm really worried. That's twice in one week he's skipped. It's not like him."

"You're right. It is not. Have you spoken with Professor McGonagall?"

"Yes. That's where I just came from. She wasn't very happy."

"I would imagine she wouldn't be. No doubt Harry's up in the owlry or on the pitch. If you happen to see him before dinner, could you please let him know I would like to speak with him?"

"Of course."

"Thank you." He waved his hand toward the portrait. "Go enjoy the rest of your afternoon. And stop worrying."

Hermione smiled, waved goodbye and entered the common room.

After the portrait swung closed, Remus ran a hand through his hair. He was very worried about Harry. No doubt his disappearance was because of the news he received a lunch. He could only imagine what Harry must be going through.

Not wanting to search through the entire castle, Remus decided to wait until dinner to speak with Harry. Resigned to grading, he turned around and went back to his office.

~SH~

Hours later, Remus entered the Great Hall for dinner and sat down. Before serving himself, he looked at the Gryffindor table. There was no sign of Harry and he was beginning to get concerned. His eyes found Hermione at the far end of the table. It was obvious she had yet to see Harry. She kept looking up and down the table while worrrying her bottom lip.

With the threat of an attack on Hogsmeade and possibly Hogwarts only a few days away, Remus took Harry's disappearance seriously. He needed to speak with the headmaster and Minerva. Setting his napkin on the table, he stood up and approached the two. "Albus, Minerva, as soon as dinner is over, I'd like to have a word with the both of you."

"Of course, Remus," Albus said while blotting his lips on a napkin. "What is the topic of conversation?"

"Harry Potter."

"He has been skipping classes," Minerva brought up. "I will of course be there."

Albus looked at the two of them. "I hope my office will suffice as a meeting spot?"

Both Minerva and Remus nodded in agreement before Remus returned to his seat.

~SH~

After resting for a few hours and hoping it was enough to keep most of the pain at bay, Severus got up and went to his lab to begin brewing the Dark Lord's potion. Eighteen hours later, and without any mishaps, the potion was complete. He bottled only one large vial's worth and vanished the rest. A potion like that was definitely not worth keeping around.

Having a little under five hours until the potion was to be delivered to Malfoy Manor, Severus took a quick shower and changed into some presentable clothing. There was one important errand he had to run before the potion was delivered. Ignoring his growling stomach for the time being, he grabbed a handful of floo powder and stepped inside his fireplace. "Diagon Alley," he stated, before he was whisked away from the emerald green flames. With purposeful strides, he left The Leaky Cauldron and headed towards Gringotts.

An hour and a half later, and feeling slightly nauseated because of what he just finished, Severus returned to Spinner's End clutching a half inch stack of parchment and a brown paper bag. He placed the parchment on the kitchen table and removed the meal from the bag he had gotten from one of the restaurant's in the Alley.

While eating, he looked over the stack of parchment. His throat went dry as he read the cover page; 'Last Will and Testament of Severus Snape'. He had no plans of perishing in the attack on Saturday, but his wishes and plans meant nothing if the Dark Lord had his way. Never before did he think he would ever need to revise his Will. But that was before Harry. He wanted Harry to have everything. He just hoped the boy would accept it all.

~SH~

Harry awoke Friday morning in an awful state when realization of his future sunk in. The pleasant, happy dreams he had last night, now left him feeling hollower than he thought possible. All his dreams had revolved around Severus being his father; spring break spent at Spinner's End, summer at the sea and sightseeing, Christmas at Spinner's End, visiting their dungeon quarters during the school term, talking.

Knowing none of that would ever happen left him feeling utterly depressed and rejected. Rolling onto his side, Harry pulled the blankets up to his chin and curled into a ball. No one seemed to want him. True, he did say he never wanted to see the man again, but why would the professor believe him? Didn't kids say that to their parents all the time? He remembered hearing Ron say it once to his mum years ago, but Mrs. Weasley never disowned Ron. What was wrong with him that no one wanted him? Harry curled up tighter and squeezed his eyes closed.

Harry stayed in bed for a few more hours, alternating between staring at the wall and sleeping. When his need for the restroom became too great, he finally got up. After he was finished in the restroom, and had downed a glass of water, he returned to his curled position on the bed. Thoughts of anything from classes to food, and even Quidditch, were absent from his mind.

While staring at the wall one of the many hundreds of times, Harry had come to a conclusion. He knew he was able to move on after losing Sirius. It has been hard, but he eventually did. Since he was able to that with Sirius, and he had known the man was his family for a few years, he knew he would be able to do the same with Snape. The amount of time he'd known the man was his family was a lot shorter, but it would take a while longer to get over since he'd have to see the man in classes for the remainder of his schooling. Maybe once the professor started to, again, act like the git of the dungeons he'd known for years, he'd forget all about him being his father that much faster.

His thoughts then began to drift around the conversation he had overheard in the hospital wing on Wednesday night. Voldemort was obviously not pleased with Professor Snape. Harry wondered if the professor would end up with the same fate as the Death Eaters he had seen in his previous visions and nightmares. One could only assume so. Not that he wished the man dead and it was horrible to think it, but maybe if Snape was killed in the attack on Saturday, Harry wouldn't feel so bad. But then, maybe if _Voldemort_ was killed in the attack, Harry could somehow find a way to speak to the professor; get his father back. He could show him his memories. Even Professor Lupin could show him his memories. Maybe with the threat of Voldemort gone, Snape would be more willing to listen.

Hours later, feeling slightly better, though still somewhat depressed, Harry finally got out of bed. He went to the restroom and then took a shower. He didn't feel like lying down anymore and instead decided to wander around the castle.

Harry left the confines of the Room of Requirement without glancing at the clock so he had no idea if classes were still in session or if it was the middle of the night. Already being up on the seventh floor, Harry decided to head up to the Astronomy tower first to get some fresh air. Then, if it was late enough, he'd sneak into the Gryffindor tower to retrieve his invisibility cloak and roam the lower floors of the castle and the grounds.

Quietly, he walked through the corridors until he met up with the spiral stairway for the astronomy tower.

~SH~

Worried couldn't even begin to describe Minerva's current state of mind as she traveled along the upper floors of the castle. She, along with Remus, had just left the headmaster's office after the unsettling discussion of Harry Potter's disappearance. She hoped, with all her heart, that the boy's disappearance was just his stupidity and not the work of Death Eaters.

An all out search of the castle was now underway for the missing sixth year. The search party included all the professors and ghosts. Even the castle's thousands of portraits were involved with the search.

After a short discussion with Remus, Minerva decided to search the Astronomy tower. Hoping to see the boy at the top, she was disappointed to find the tower empty after thoroughly searching the tower.

Leaving the tower, she began her search on the top most floors. She slowly walked through every corridor, glancing in every used and unused classroom, every closet, the boys' restroom and even the girls' restroom. She had just exited one of the unused classrooms on the seventh floor when she spotted the back of a head of unruly black hair.

Angry, she closed the door to the restroom and quickly, but quietly, walked closer to the boy. When she was a few feet behind Harry, she stopped and crossed her arms over her chest. "Mr. Potter," she scolded.

Harry whirled around, startled. "Professor McGonagall!" When he saw the stern, disapproving look on his Head's face, his stomach dropped to the floor.

"Where have you been since lunch yesterday?" Minerva demanded. "Every professor, ghost and portrait has been looking for you."

"I…er…" Harry didn't answer. He just looked at his Head with trepidation.

"As much as it pains me, Mr. Potter, one hundred points will be taken from Gryffindor. You will also be given a five hour detention tomorrow. Let this be a lesson for missing your classes for three days without prior approval and for disappearing for over twenty-four hours. Hopefully when you are done with your detention and after your house-mates comments to you on their missing points, some common sense will find its way into your dense little brain. I can't believe a search party has been needed to find you twice this school year," she added, exasperated.

Shock at his Head's words registered a moment later. Never before would Harry have expected her to say something like that to him. His shock quickly vanished, however, when he remembered the last time he was found when he was supposedly missing. Professor Snape had found him then and he was more worried then anything. The man had even said so. Harry dropped his head and pressed his lips together tightly when he felt a prickling in his eyes. Professor McGonagall was not worried in the slighted. She was definitely angry.

"You will meet Filch in the trophy room at ten am to begin your detention," Minerva continued on. "Do not be late Mr. Potter."

"Yes ma'am," Harry whispered.

"Get to the common room. Now," she ordered. "If you are not there in ten minutes, you will lose another twenty five points and an hour will be added to your detention. Do I make myself clear Mr. Potter?"

Harry nodded. "Yes professor." After glancing at his stern professor, he turned around and headed to Gryffindor tower. Oh how he wished he'd been found by a worried Snape instead of an angry McGonagall. Too bad that would likely never happen again.

* * *

_Yeah, I know this chapter is short. But at least you didn't have to wait months for an update! That must be worth something. :) Thanks for all the wonderful reviews.  
_

_I took some liberties with the Room of Requirement. Hope no one really minds._


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

"Will you please stop shaking your leg, Hermione," Ron said exasperated, after he loudly threw down his magazine on his lap. "I can't take it anymore. It's driving me crazy."

Hermione stopped jiggling her leg and repositioned herself so she was sitting cross-legged and facing Ron at the other end of the sofa. It was a position she hoped Ron couldn't find fault with. "I'm sorry. I'm just so worried about Harry."

Ron looked at her sympathetically, his face softening. "I know you are. I am too."

"What if something bad happened to him, Ron? He hasn't been seen since lunch yesterday."

Knowing this was probably going to be a long conversation, Ron closed his Quidditch magazine and set it on the floor by his feet, atop his long-forgotten Charms text. "He's probably just been down in the dungeons with Snape. Maybe he got hurt or sick again and is recuperating down there. He's done it before."

Hermione looked at the fire crackling merrily to her right, a far cry from how she currently felt. "If that's the case, why doesn't Professor McGonagall know? Or Professor Lupin? Neither have any idea where he is. Surely Professor Snape would have said something to one of them if Harry was down there with him. "

"I don't know Hermione. There's probably a very good reason why no one knows where Harry is."

"It's so unlike Harry to not say anything to us."

"Is it?" Ron questioned. "That's how he's been all term. He hardly speaks to us anymore."

"Yeah. But who's fault is that?" she asked sadly.

Ron scooted over towards Hermione and pulled her into his arms, causing her to rest her head on his shoulder. "I know you're worried 'Mione, but there's nothing we can do. Worrying will not make Harry walk through that door any quicker."

"You're right. I know you're right, but I just feel so helpless. What if he doesn't appear before you and I leave for the holiday tomorrow? We won't know what happened to him for a week. I don't know if I'll be able to enjoy our week off."

"We need to get your mind off Harry, and I've got a solution." Ron gave Hermione a squeeze and got up from the sofa, grabbing his magazine and text book. "I'll be right back."

Hermione watched him disappear up the stairs to his dorm then closed the book she had been reading. With a glance at the portrait hole, she sighed and turned toward the fire. She knew Ron was right. Worrying wouldn't make Harry return to the common room any faster. She just hoped nothing bad happened to him. It was so unlike him to go missing.

Ron came back down the stairs two minutes later carrying a wooden box. "Let's move to a table."

Eying the box, Hermione frowned, picked up her book and followed Ron to one of the empty tables. "You know I don't play wizards chess, Ron," she said as Ron started pulling out his chess pieces and set them up on the board he unfolded.

"I know Hermione, but I think it's time you learned. I've done something you like. It's now time you did something I like."

"You've done something _I_ like?" Hermione questioned. She racked her brain trying to figure out just what that could be and came up with nothing.

"Yeah." Ron sat down. "I've been doing more of my homework without bugging you all the time for help." He smiled sweetly at her.

Hermione shook her head. "That is not the same thing." Ron gave her a puppy dog look she couldn't resist. "Fine. I'll play your stupid game."

"Great! You can be black."

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Hermione scooted closer to the table.

A half hour later, while waiting for Ron to make his next move, Hermione looked around the common room. She was hoping that Harry had arrived while she was busy playing.

"Check mate," Ron said triumphantly, breaking Hermione out of her thoughts.

"Good game Ron."

"Would you like to play again?" Ron then noticed the look Hermione was giving him. "Uh, never mind. I'll go play with Neville. He's wanted to play for a while anyway. Go back to reading your book. I know you'll enjoy that more."

Hermione smiled graciously. "Thank you Ron." After Ron left the table, Hermione switched seats so she could keep one eye on the entrance as she read.

~SH~

The entrance to the Gryffindor common room loomed ahead of Harry as he slowly walked through the corridor. He paused for a bit, wanting to delay the inevitable for as long as he possibly could.

"Keep walking, Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said strictly, coming from the corridor on Harry's left side. "Your ten minutes is up. Get in to the common room now!"

Harry jumped slightly, having not heard anyone around him. He glanced at McGonagall, and at her stern expression, took a deep breath. There was no way around it. He had to go to the common room. His only hope was that it was so late that all his house mates were asleep. Head down, he continued up to the portrait and mumbled the password.

After the portrait swung open, Minerva stepped up to the doorway behind Harry. "You best stay in this tower until breakfast tomorrow, Mr. Potter. You are in enough trouble as it is."

Nodding, and not looking back to the professor, Harry entered the common room. He was only able to get a few feet in before he was ambushed by Hermione who was running up to him.

"Where have you been Harry? I was so worried. It's not like you to miss classes, especially for almost three days in a row. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry," Harry answered somewhat distractedly, not wanting to get into his disappearance.

Hermione stepped closer to Harry, examining him closely for any signs of injury.

Harry backed up a few steps in response, Hermione's closeness getting to be a bit uncomfortable. "Hermione, could you please give me some room? I feel like you're suffocating me."

"Oh. Sorry." She stepped away from Harry and began walking back to the table were she was sitting. "Let's talk over here. We can have a more private conversation."

As Harry reluctantly followed Hermione, he looked around the room. The place was crawling with students. He had hoped it was late, but obviously it wasn't. He should have glanced at the clock before leaving the Room of Requirement. It might have saved him from running into his Head of House, and in turn, Hermione. "What time is it Hermione?"

Hermione looked at Harry curiously before answering. "Just after eight. Why do you not know the time?"

Harry pulled out a chair, his back to the room, and sat down. "Been preoccupied. Time wasn't all that important." He ran a hand over his face and dropped his head to the table, arms in his lap. He should have looked at the stupid clock. He wasn't up for talking. All he wanted to do was get to his bed and sort out all the jumbled thoughts running rampant in his head.

"Are you sure you're okay Harry?" Hermione asked again, looking at the top of Harry's head. "I don't understand why you would skip classes and go missing. You've had a lot of people worried about you. Where have you been?"

Harry raised his head and placed his chin on the table. "I'd rather not go in to it just now Hermione, if that's all right." He hoped that would placate her, as that was the last thing he wanted to discuss.

"But Harry,"

"No, Hermione," Harry said forcefully. "Didn't you promise me you'd drop stuff if I said no? Besides, I already had Professor McGonagall come down on me just a while ago. I don't need you as well."

Clamping her lips shut, she looked at Harry sadly. He was right, but she just couldn't help it. "I'm sorry, Harry. I was just so worried. I don't…" She stopped speaking when Harry glanced at her challengingly. She closed her mouth and decided to change the subject. "What did Professor McGonagall say?"

He sighed. "I've got detention tomorrow morning at ten with Filch."

Hermione grimaced. She usually liked everyone at Hogwarts, but Filch was definitely not one of them. "That's not so bad."

"Not so bad? Hermione, it's five hours long!" Harry punctuated the last three words by hitting his chin on the table, and then dropped his head back down with a loud thud. "I also lost Gryffindor one hundred points."

"It's not undeserved. You did skip classes and went missing…"

"Hermione, I really don't need a lecture from you right now. Please."

"That reminds me. Did you ever speak with Professor Lupin yesterday? He was looking for you."

Harry paled slightly at the question. He slowly raised his head, rubbing a hand on his throbbing forehead; he didn't think he hit the table that hard. "Yes," he said guardedly. "We talked."

"Good," Hermione smiled, not noticing the change in Harry. "He told me to tell you he was looking for you if I saw you yesterday. I'm glad he found you." She paused and looked off in the distance. "Wait a moment. That doesn't make sense. If you spoke with him, how come he didn't tell Professor McGonagall where you were? Surely he knew you've been missing. I heard all the professors were looking for you. When did you actually talk to him?"

Running a hand over his forehead again, Harry faked a yawn, not answering the question. "I'm a little tired, Hermione. I'm heading up to bed." He got up and pushed his chair under the table, hopefully diverting Hermione's train of thought. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Oh…uh, good night Harry." Hermione watched Harry disappear up the spiral staircase with a worried look, though glad that he was back. Before opening her book to continue reading, she went over to Ron and Neville to let them know that Harry was finally back.

Harry entered his dorm room and quickly changed into his pajamas, surprised that Hermione hadn't stopped him somehow. After tossing his clothes on top of his trunk for the house elves to take care of, he slipped into bed and pulled the curtains closed around him. Leaning back against the headboard, he closed his eyes and tried to make sense of the jumble of thoughts floating in his head.

Every thought ended the same way; Severus saying there would be an attack at Hogsmeade Saturday at noon. It didn't matter if he was thinking about his time in the Room of Requirement or about the memories he had seen. The end was always the same. The attack was obviously the important thing. And based on his past visions and experiences, Voldemort would be there.

Even though months ago Severus had told him that he controlled his own destiny, he knew what he needed to do. Tomorrow he would finally fulfill the prophecy. He'd either kill Voldemort or be killed in the process. At least he had plenty of time to think about how he wanted to go about killing Voldemort. Knowing ahead of time about the attack on Hogsmeade should definitely put winning in his favor. That and using his invisibility cloak. He knew he definitely couldn't win with dueling.

If he succeeded in defeating Voldemort, Harry hoped that he would have a better chance of being able to discuss his true relationship with Severus. Maybe the man would actually listen and view his and Remus' memories. There would be no reason why he wouldn't be able to.

He then began to wonder what type of memories Remus would have given Severus. Severus couldn't have six months or so of memories taken completely from him with nothing to replace them. He shuddered as possible memories began to come to him.

Not wanting to think on that, as it would only keep him from his most important mission, Harry sunk under the covers in his bed and began thinking about how he would defeat Voldemort tomorrow.

~SH

Glancing at the clock, Severus got up from his chair and took his almost empty cup of tea with him. He entered the kitchen, poured the tea down the sink, washed the cup and put it away. Before leaving the kitchen, he made sure everything was put back where it should be. Continuing through the house, he did the same thing in every room since he wasn't sure when, or if, he would ever return.

When he reached Harry's room, however, he stood in the doorway and stared inside. To save him from the heartache this room now caused him, and probably would cause him if he ever returned to this house, he knew he should return the room to its original design. But he couldn't do it. In his heart he knew that it would be the wrong thing to do. Instead, he closed the door and went back downstairs. Satisfied the house was now ready, he went to his lab and grabbed the vial full of the Dark Lord's potion. Stashing the vial in his pocket, he went out the back door so he could Apparate.

Severus arrived in the driveway of Malfoy Manor a few seconds later. With the gravel crunching under his boots, he briskly walked through the wrought-iron gate and up to the manor. The sooner he could be done with this task, the better. Reaching the door, he bought up a fist and knocked on the heavy door three times.

Thirty seconds later, the door opened a crack. At the sight of thick, long, black hair and one heavily lidded eye, Severus' stance went rigid and his hand automatically went for his wand.

"Snape!" The door opened fully and Bellatrix looked at Severus with a malicious glint in her eye. "I was hoping you wouldn't show up."

"Bella," Severus acknowledged. When Bellatrix moved aside, he cautiously entered, not forgetting who had a hand in the curses thrown at him just a few days ago.

"So, you actually think your little potion is going to make the Dark Lord forgive you for your trespasses?"

Ignoring the question, Severus walked past Bellatrix and headed toward the drawing room, meeting Narcissa on the way.

"I presume you are here with the potion, Severus?" Narcissa asked.

"Yes. I shall drop it off as requested and be out of your hair in a few moments. That is if you call your sister off." He nodded to Bellatrix who was still at the entrance.

"You might want to be careful with how you speak to me and about me, Snape," snarled Bellatrix as she shut the entry door. "Don't forget who the Dark Lord's favorite is. I can make him do whatever I want."

Narcissa shook her head at Bellatrix then faced Severus. "Would you like to stay for a cup of tea when you done, Severus?"

"No thank you, Narcissa. I need to meet with Albus. I'm still trying to convince him to let Potter go in to Hogsmeade tomorrow."

"Yes, that is definitely more important." Narcissa gestured to the drawing room. "You better deliver the potion. He is actually in there waiting."

Severus' breath quickened in spite of himself. He in all honesty, did not think the Dark Lord would be here tonight. "Thank you Narcissa." He turned from her, occluded, and when he was fully prepared, entered the drawing room. He was not going to make the same mistake twice.

"Severus," Voldemort hissed, standing up from the table. "So glad to see you tonight. I trust you will not disappointment me?"

"My lord." Severus bowed his head in acknowledgement and walked toward the long table. "I will not disappoint." Upon reaching the table, he pulled out the vial and set it in front of Voldemort. He stepped back and clasped his hands behind his back as Voldemort picked up the vial.

"If this potion works as promised, I will reward you greatly." He set the vial on the table. "If it does not..." Letting the sentence hang, he looked to Severus, and immediately locked eyes.

This time Severus was prepared for the intrusion and pushed a fabricated memory to the front of his mind. A minute later, he thankfully felt Voldemort exit.

"I will see you at eleven, Severus. We will be assembling on the east side of The Hog's Head in the trees." He stopped speaking and gave Severus an extremely calculating look.

Severus bowed his head again. "I will be there, my lord." When he looked up, he came face to face with the tip of Voldemort's wand.

Voldemort gave Severus an evil smile. "Crucio!" After a minute, he let the curse up. "That was a reminder. You best remember where your loyalties lie."

Shaking slightly from the curse, Severus gave a sharp nod. "I do, my lord."

"Very well. You may go. Just remember, Severus, if you dare betray me, you will be punished accordingly."

Severus turned and left the room as quickly and graciously as he could. Once the room was far behind him, he let out a huge, shaky breath. He still had his life after performing this mission for the Dark Lord. His only hope was that he still had it at this time tomorrow night. Wanting to be out of the manor as soon as possible, he was glad he didn't run into Bellatrix or Narcissa. Within moments he was outside in the night air and striding to the apparition point.

~SH~

"Enter," Dumbledore called at the knock on his office door. He glanced at his clock, then looked up with a slight smile on his face when the door opened and Severus walked in. "I take it you've delivered the potion to Tom?"

"I have." Severus sank wearily into his usual chair in front of Albus' desk. He was so tired of having two roles in the war. Fawkes trilled from his perch, disturbing the quietness in the room, and Severus glanced up to the red phoenix and began to calm. When Fawkes quieted down, Severus looked to Albus.

Albus looked somewhat solemnly at Severus. "If all goes according to plan tomorrow, Severus, I will be closer to relieving you of your duty as spy."

"If everything goes according to plan?" Severus asked incredulously. "Do you not remember your brilliant plan that resulted in getting Lily killed? Since when have any of your plans actually worked?"

Thinking of one plan he put into motion only a few months ago involving the man who happened to be sitting right in front of him and the Boy-Who-Lived, Albus tried to hide a triumphant smile. Quickly removing the thought from his head, he leaned forward. "Trust me on this, Severus. This plan will succeed without a hitch."

"What is this plan, if I may ask?"

Standing up, Albus walked around his desk and sat on the top a little ways away from Severus. "First, I have spoken with the staff of the Hogwarts Express. They have arranged to have the train depart Hogsmeade at ten thirty tomorrow morning instead of the usual twelve noon."

"That's all well and good, Albus, but before I left the Dark Lord, I was privileged with the location and time he wants us assembled. Surely he'd become suspicious when he doesn't see the train waiting or the students arriving and boarding."

"I have already thought of that. We will have signs posted around the village stating that the train has been delayed and offer the students an option of going back to the castle or staying in the village until the train does arrive."

Severus crossed his arms in front on his chest in frustration. "He would get suspicious…"

"If you would let me finish Severus," Albus interrupted shortly.

Not liking to be reprimanded like a petulant school boy, Severus remained quiet and sat back against the chair, raising an eyebrow.

"The Order discussed the situation at great length these past few days. Some members, along with some Aurors, will be disguised as Hogwarts students. When the attack begins, this will put them in a better position to fight." Albus paused and returned to his chair on the other side of the desk. "I am only missing one crucial piece of information you mentioned upon arriving."

"The location and time of the Death Eaters arrival," Severus supplied, uncrossing his arms. "Though I can't say for certain whether this information is correct, or if it's just a ploy to see what side of this war I am truly on, he said we are all to convene at eleven on the east side of The Hogs Head."

"Excellent. Excellent! That will be perfect. There will already be some Aurors inside The Hogs Head. I'm hoping there will be hardly any casualties. Some of the Aurors have already been through the village and requested the store owners have only the minimum number of staff they can get along with."

"You've mentioned killing Death Eaters, Albus, but what of the Dark Lord? What good would it do to not kill him?"

"I feel it best you don't know all the plans." Albus looked at Severus sternly. "I am a bit wiser now after our little discussion in the hospital wing Wednesday night."

At what Severus would consider an admission of the headmaster's lack of trust in him, Severus clenched his fists tightly, fighting the urge to yell and hex the man in front of him. When Falkes trilled again, he took a few deep breaths to calm himself. His anger wouldn't help anything.

Albus watched Severus run a hand over his forehead. "I know you probably have many things to attend to before tomorrow, so I will let you go, Severus. Though please note that I am extremely disappointed that you haven't confided in me any of _your_ plans.

Ignoring the disapproval, especially since he lost almost all respect for the man in front of him, Severus stood up. "Good night Albus."

Albus picked up a sheaf of parchment from his desk and began thumbing through it. "Good night," he replied, not breaking eye contact with the papers in front of him. "Oh, before I forget, please tell your House of the change in plans regarding the Hogwarts Express. I have already spoken with the other Heads of House."

Closing the door behind him, Severus quickly strode to his quarters. He was tired, had a headache, and had a few more minor things he needed to do prepare for tomorrow. On his way done to the dungeons, however, he began to get a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. The headmaster had not mentioned Harry once during their conversation. For Albus, who repeatedly said Harry was the only one who could defeat the Dark Lord, to not mention him, could only mean one thing. There were obviously plans for Harry tomorrow which the headmaster did not want him to be aware of.

Well, Severus would do his best to make sure Harry came out of all of this unharmed. He would be damned if he lost his son now. He was thankful that Harry was staying at the castle for the holiday. But to be sure the boy didn't go to Hogsmeade to see his friends off, he'd make sure Harry stayed in the castle. With a smirk, he headed to the floo to let Minerva know that Harry was to have a detention during the time the students were leaving for the wizarding village.

Ten minutes later, and in a foul mood, he returned to his office. He had learned of Harry's disappearance and subsequent detention. When Minerva told him of the details, he was furious with her. When Harry was found, she had not even bothered to question him on why he had disappeared. She just sent him on his way to the tower. He could have been hurt. He could still be hurt. As Severus knew this would be one night he wouldn't get much sleep, he decided to sneak into the Gryffindor tower and check up on Harry later in the evening once he was sure everyone would be asleep. At this point in time, he did not trust anything Minerva said.

The one good thing was that at least he didn't have to worry about Harry's well-being tomorrow; he'd be safe in the castle with Filch. Severus' entire concentration could now be on the attack. Sinking into his chair after summoning a headache reliever, he couldn't wait until this time tomorrow. If everything went according to his plans, he would finally be able to stop living at least one lie.

* * *

_Yeah, I know...another cliffhanger. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do about it. The current storyline doesn't leave me many options. Just please stay with it, I know you won't be disappointed...at least I hope not._

_As usual, thanks for all the reviews, alerts, and favorites. I'm so glad there are readers still enjoying this story.  
_


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

Very late Friday night, once his headache finally vanished, Severus visited the Gryffindor tower to check on Harry. After quietly entering the common room, he stood in the shadows to ensure there were no students still milling about. The last thing he needed was to be caught by one of Minerva's lions. There would be no plausible explanation to be given for his presence if that situation arose. Luckily it appeared all the students were in their dorm rooms. Quietly he ascended the staircase, entered Harry's dorm room and cast a charm over the room to keep the boys asleep.

With wand still in hand, he walked over to Harry's bed. Even though Minerva said Harry was unharmed, he no longer trusted her. He had yet to get an explanation from her as to where Harry was when he went missing and why he went missing. Raising his wand, he cast a diagnostic over Harry. He sighed in relief when the only things found were slight malnutrition and exhaustion. Those two items were bad, but he was expecting worse.

Replacing his wand, he took a seat on the side of Harry's bed and just stared. His diagnostic said Harry was unharmed, but upon looking at him, Severus could see all was not right with his son. Even in sleep, Harry looked troubled.

Severus speculated that it was a result of what had caused Harry to go missing the last few days. He couldn't get it out of his head that he was probably partly, if not all, to blame for Harry's disappearance. The boy definitely left his office extremely angry and hurt Wednesday. With the way things were to be between them now, he knew he would never be able to find out what happened.

As he thought about all that might, and could, happen in the morning in Hogsmeade, Severus' hand itched to run through Harry's hair. He held back, however, and sighed as he finally stood up. Harry was now his son by blood only and he needed to act like that. Harry would never accept him doing anything like that ever again.

At the door to the dorm room, Severus turned around, glanced longingly at Harry one more time and canceled the spell over all the boys. Having two more items on his "to do list," he quickly left the Gryffindor common room and returned to his quarters.

~SH~

Friday night, after receiving word that Harry had been found, Remus ventured up to Minerva's office with a request to speak with the boy. He was extremely disappointed when his request was denied. Minerva wouldn't let him talk to Harry until after Saturday, no matter how important. She deemed it a punishment for Harry. After the disappointing conversation with the Gryffindor Head, he then left to attend an Order meeting to discuss the attack on Hogsmeade. The meeting didn't conclude until just before 2am.

Upon returning to his quarters in the castle, Remus was surprised to find Severus pacing back and forth outside the door. "Severus! What are you doing here this late at night?"

"I could ask, why are _you_ returning to your quarters so late at night," Severus responded sarcastically.

Instead of a comeback, he opened the door. "Come in," he said while letting Severus enter first. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked as he closed the door behind him.

"No thank you." Severus walked into the living area and took a seat on one side of the sofa. "I know it is extremely late, but I have a few important things that we need to discuss before the attack."

Remus sat down opposite Severus slightly wary of what the conversation would entail. "Very well. What exactly would you like to discuss?"

Severus studied Remus for a few seconds, the seriousness of the situation very palpable in the air. "As much as it is my wish to come out of the attack alive, I know for a fact that might not be the case. If I do not make it, I have left…" he paused as he ran a hand over his face, "…I have left my Will in the top drawer of the desk in my office. As most of it pertains to Harry, please be sure it is retrieve as soon as possible. I know I could cast a spell over it, as most wizards do, but I do not want to take any chances."

"Of course, Severus. But you know it won't come to that."

"You were not in that Death Eater meeting this week, Remus. You know nothing. How I am alive right now, I do not know."

"I promise it will be retrieved."

"Thank you. Now, as you know, I have not attended the last few Order meetings. Most have not been by choice." He paused, but when it looked like Remus was going to speak, he continued quickly. "Professor Dumbledore has left me out of those meetings on purpose and I do not want to discuss the possible reasons why. I am sure he has spoken about it at the meetings."

Remus nodded. "He has given us just a little bit of information."

Severus huffed. "I just said I did not want to speak of it."

"I'm not discussing it, Severus," Remus answered exasperated. "I was just agreeing that it was spoken of. Please continue."

"It is the late hour," Severus apologized, to the great surprise of Remus. "In order to complete my plans for the Dark Lord's possible demise, I would like to know what the Order has planned. I do not want to be in the way of anything."

When Remus answered, it was obvious the late hour was getting to him as well, though in an entirely different manner. "You tell me your plan and I'll tell you ours."

Severus slapped a hand on the sofa. "This is serious wolf!"

Remus shook his head to try and clear it. "I'm sorry, Severus. Forgive me. The late hour."

The two then spent the next hour discussing the attack.

~SH~

The Slytherin common room was quiet Saturday morning as Severus stood with hands clasped behind his back in front of the fireplace, scanning his students who were waiting patiently for him to begin their House meeting. "I am glad to see everyone here. And I thank you all for reading the notice board each Sunday. I know most of you are eager to get to breakfast and, if you are leaving the castle for the holiday, to finish packing. As the notice I posted Sunday stated, since some of you might not remember what was said at the beginning of term, I always plan a House meeting the morning before students leave the castle for holidays or end of term." When one of his upper years gave a groan, he paused and narrowed his eyes. "Is there a problem Mr. Malfoy?" he asked, arms now crossed over his chest.

Draco stood up so he could be seen fully by his Head of House. "No sir. I just don't understand why we all have to be here? Surely these meetings are only needed for the first years."

"Based on some behavior I have been witness to and have heard about, I disagree." After Draco sat down, he continued. "For those that are going home, remember, the rules of the castle apply to the Hogwarts Express as well. If I hear any of you disregarded the rules, there will be loss of points and detention. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes, professor," most of the students said in unison.

Severus looked at all his trouble-makers in the eye. "Very well. Now on to other matters. The Hogwarts Express will be leaving Hogsmeade at 10:30 this morning. I want those students who are leaving the castle to be outside and waiting for the carriages no later than 9:45."

"Why is the train leaving so early, professor?" asked one of his third years. "I thought the train usually left at noon."

At this question, Severus was glad that Albus had left him a note earlier that morning with more detailed information regarding the early train departure. Why the old man didn't mention it last night, or why he, himself, never thought to ask, he'd never know. By the contents in the note, however, it seemed like another Head had questioned the specifics. Kudos to that professor. At least he was relieved that all the students were being told the same information.

"You are correct, Mr. Hughes. The train usually does leave at noon. Unfortunately a Muggle train derailed late last night close to a juncture with our line. The repairs will require our line to be shut down early afternoon."

"If we leave one and a half hours early, does that mean I'll have to hang around Kings Cross waiting for my parents?" the same student asked. "I don't want to do that. Have our parents been notified?"

"No, you will not need to wait around Kings Cross. It was decided that the best thing would be to slow down the train after it passes the part of the line that needs to be shut down. The train will arrive at Kings Cross at the same time it had originally been scheduled. There was no reason to notify your parents."

"So we'll just have to be on the train for longer then," Draco said. "What fun." He smirked at Goyle.

Severus raised an eyebrow at Draco, knowing the boy probably had something mischievous planned. "Remember my rule Mr. Malfoy." Hoping that Draco realized how serious he was, Severus looked out over his students once again. "I know most of you are not looking forward to being stuck on the train for more time. But it will go fast. I doubt most of you will even notice the additional length."

"That'll give us more time to scope out Elizabeth," one of the fifth years whispered to the boy next to him.

At the comment, Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes. "That will be all. You may head to the Great Hall for breakfast." Once the last student left, Severus yawned and ran a hand over his face while sinking into the nearest chair. He was no longer cut out to get by on three hours of sleep; however the reason for his lack of sleep today was well worth it.

~SH~

Yawning, Remus took a sip of coffee and looked to the entrance of the Great Hall. He gave a smile when he spotted Harry enter, but it slid off when he remembered Harry's role in the attack today. He still couldn't believe that the headmaster forbade anyone from talking to Harry about what he would be required to do. When he left the Order meeting, Remus wished Harry was still missing. He had half a mind to sneak into the Gryffindor tower and tell the poor boy what he would be asked to accomplish later that day. He even had half a mind to mention it to Severus when they were discussing the attack a few hours ago, but he held his tongue.

"I can see the look in your eye, Remus," Minerva stated as she passed behind him to take her seat farther along the table. "Don't you even think about it. Mr. Potter will know what is required of him when it's necessary."

Sighing, Remus dragged his eyes from Harry to Minerva. "How can you go along with Albus?"

Minerva stopped and took the empty seat to Remus' right. "Just because I'm going along with Albus' recommendations doesn't mean I agree with him. Believe me, I don't like it any more than you do. We just have to have faith in Albus. He wouldn't do anything to hurt Mr. Potter."

Remus opened his mouth in shock and stared at Minerva incredulously. "You're kidding right? He's hurt Harry since he left him on the doorstep of the Dursley's fifteen years ago."

"We need to trust Albus," Minerva interrupted. "He has his reasons. Besides, you know as well as I, that Harry is the only one who can defeat Voldemort. It's in the prophecy."

"I know it's Harry's responsibility." He glanced over at Harry. "But he's just so young. Why does it have to be now?"

Without answering, and knowing Remus wasn't looking for one, Minerva got up and headed to her own seat for breakfast.

~SH~

Harry stared at the bowl of cereal in front of him, having yet to take a spoonful. He glanced to his left when Ron sat down beside him.

"Morning mate," Ron greeted cheerfully, scooping some eggs onto a plate. "Didn't get to talk to you last night. Glad to see you're back and are okay."

"Yeah," Harry replied halfheartedly, his full attention back on his bowl of cereal.

Sensing Harry wasn't in the mood to talk, and after his lengthy conversation with Hermione last night, Ron decided to let Harry be.

Harry glanced up to the head table. He was actually surprised to see the professors who were in the Order sitting there eating breakfast like it was an ordinary day. But then, if they weren't there, it would probably cause suspicion among the students. He ran his eyes across the long table and stopped at Remus. The man had his hands cupped around a mug that he was holding in front of his mouth.

After a few seconds, Remus looked up and their eyes met. The man gave him a sad smile and quickly looked away. Harry looked away a few seconds later feeling slightly neglected. He knew he was being childish, but he had hoped that the professor would have spoken to him some time since last night. Hermione had said a lot of people were worried when he went missing. Remus had to have been one of them. But obviously the professor wasn't all that worried about him. Part of him knew Remus had more important things on his mind, like the upcoming attack, but still.

At hearing the door to the side entrance open, Harry glanced up to the table again. Severus had just entered the Great Hall. As the man's robes billowed out on his way to his seat next to Remus, Harry began feeling sick to his stomach. This was the first time he'd seen the man in public since yelling at him days ago.

While Severus was fixing a cup of coffee, Harry tried to resume eating. He found himself glancing up to the two professors every once in a while. At times they were in conversation and at others, they were eating.

When Harry was almost through with his breakfast, he caught Remus glancing at him again. Seconds later Severus looked at him. At Severus' scowl and icy stare, Harry dropped his spoon into the bowl with a loud clang, and pushed it toward the center of the table. He knew that his professor would go back to the way he treated and looked at him before, and he thought he was ready. He realized immediately that he was not. The sick feeling in his stomach intensified. "I'm going back to the common room," he muttered to Ron while he quickly stood up and left the Great Hall.

With a fork full of sausage sticking out of his mouth, Ron turned and watched Harry leave the room. "Ok," he said, though no one heard him except for Neville who was sitting next to him.

~SH~

While everyone was down in the Great Hall finishing breakfast, Harry sat on the windowsill in his dorm room staring at the sky. After the look he received from Severus downstairs, a look that was common the first five years of his Hogwarts career, he was no longer sure if he could speak with the man about their true relationship. He now seriously doubted whether the professor would even listen to a word he said. But then, with his other thoughts last night, he knew it probably didn't matter anyway.

Glancing at the clock, he saw that he still had more than an hour before his scheduled detention; a detention that he wasn't going to show up to. Last night he had decided that he had something more important to do. Defeat Voldemort. It was his destiny, after all. He had also come to the conclusion that he had a greater chance of being killed than of defeating Voldemort, but he had to try his hardest to kill the evil wizard.

Deciding it best to prepare for his trip to Hogsmeade, he folded his prized invisibility cloak and placed it in his jacket pocket. He then made sure his wand was secured in the holster Remus had given him for Christmas. Knowing now was the time to go, so he could get there before the rest of the students, he put on his jacket and grabbed his broom.

Harry walked quickly down the stairs into the common room, not wanting to think that this could be the last time he would see the room, or Hogwarts for that matter. He wasn't under any delusions that he would absolutely make it out alive.

Harry stepped out into the corridor and paused to watch the portrait as it closed. Hearing voices in the distance, he quickly set off for the Quidditch changing rooms. After entering, he opened Ron's locker and placed his Firebolt inside. Before attaching the note he had written last night, he opened it up and read it through once more.

_Ron,_

_In the event I don't make it out of the attack alive, please take my Firebolt. I know you have always wanted one and I could not think of a better person to leave it with._

_Thank you for being my friend,_

_Harry_

Swallowing thickly, he refolded the note and attached it to the broom. He left quickly and headed back up to the castle. He was almost there when a thought hit him. Instead of continuing on his current path, he made his way up to the Owlry.

As he stepped in, he looked around the large room and spotted Hedwig on the far side. He quickly walked up to her and when she perched on his shoulder with a hoot of pleasure, he started rubbing the feathers on her head. "Hiya Hedwig. I had to see you before I left. I may not make it and I knew I'd regret it if I didn't see you one last time. You've been a great friend girl. My first friend really…" Harry stopped speaking abruptly as his throat clogged and swallowed a few times. "I'll miss you, Hedwig." Quickly withdrawing his hand from the snowy owl, he ran to the doorway and down the steps. He didn't look back as he made his way back to the castle and to his destiny.

Students were milling about in the corridors as Harry entered the castle. Finding an empty alcove, he quickly withdrew his invisibility cloak and draped if over himself. Luckily he was smaller than the rest of the boy's in his year so the cloak still covered all of him. Certain that no one could see him, he continued through the castle up to the third floor towards the statue of the one-eyed witch. Before pulling out his wand, he looked around to be sure there was no one in the vicinity. When it was safe, he taped the statue. "Dissendium," he said softly and watched in satisfaction as the witch's hump opened and the passageway came in to view.

He arrived at the trapdoor to Honeydukes about forty minutes later. Before opening the door, he listened intently for any sound. When he was pretty sure no one was there, he slowly opened the door and stepped up into the cellar. With his invisibility cloak on again, he quietly snuck out of the candy shop onto the cobblestone street of Hogsmeade.

From Severus, he knew Voldemort planned for his Death Eaters to meet at the opposite side of the town. Before he wandered over there, though, Harry slowly walked around the outskirts of the village and through the village taking note of anything that could aide in his mission. He silently thanked Professor Lupin for the extra lessons he had been given. Without those, he would not have thought about doing that at all.

Once he was sure where everything was that could give him an advantage, Harry headed toward the location all the Death Eaters were to meet. He needed to find out where exactly Voldemort would be and hoped his followers would discuss it.

* * *

_I know, I know. Another cliffhanger. But what can I do? Go ahead and throw those curses at me. I've got my Protego up.  
_

_Whew! Glad I made it out alive. :) Thanks for all the alerts, reviews, and favorites. I appreciate each and every one!  
_


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51**

"Sit down in that carriage Mr. Petersen, before I take points from Ravenclaw," Minerva yelled sternly as the last carriage left for Hogsmeade. Once the second year was seated, she turned around and headed back toward the castle. Having an hour before she needed to retrieve Harry from his detention and bring him to the headmaster's office, she decided to relax in her quarters with a book and a cup of calming tea. Her nerves were a mess with the attack looming in the near future.

She only had one foot inside the castle when she heard Filch yelling her name while rushing toward her from the staircase. "What is it Argus?" she questioned. She thought he would be in the Trophy Room supervising Harry's detention, but knew that sometimes the man left the students on their own.

Filch ran up to her and stopped, bent over trying to catch his breath. "Mr. Potter," he wheezed. "He has yet to show up for his detention. And I waited for fifteen minutes."

Minerva narrowed her eyes. "Thank you, Argus. I will go look for him. You are free for the day. I will have Potter do something else for his detention once I find him."

Without a word, Filch took off toward his office, his feet shuffling along the way, while Mrs. Norris trailed after him.

Cringing at the noise, Minerva went immediately to the Gryffindor tower to look for her wayward, and seriously in trouble, student. She entered and found her remaining ten students, minus Harry, seated around the tables in the common room. "Have any of you seen Mr. Potter?"

"I saw him at breakfast, Professor McGonagall."

"Thank you Mr. Creevey. Let me be more specific. Have any of you seen Mr. Potter _since_ breakfast?" When all ten students said no, she headed up the spiral staircase to the sixth year boy's dorm. Upon entering, she found it empty. She checked the other dorms and then the restrooms, knocking on the boy's before she entered. Harry was not in the Gryffindor tower. She walked back to the common room. "If any one sees Mr. Potter, please tell him that I want to see him in my office immediately."

After the portrait closed behind her outside the tower, Minerva pulled out her wand and did a location spell to try to find Harry. Like the last time Harry went missing, the spell was unable to locate him. Huffing, she replaced her wand and went directly up to Albus' office to relate the bad news.

Letting the spiral staircase take her up to the headmaster's office, she knocked on the wooden door a few minutes later. At the soft "enter" from the other side of the door, she stepped inside.

"Minerva," Dumbledore stated from behind his desk in surprise. "You're a little early. I wasn't expecting you and Mr. Potter for another forty-five minutes at least." He set his quill down and looked behind Minerva. "Where is Harry? Did you leave him outside? Please, bring him in."

"That is why I am early, Albus." Minerva sat down in one of the chairs facing Dumbledore's desk, her face grave. "Mr. Potter has gone missing again. He never showed up for his detention with Argus at ten. I searched the Gryffindor tower with no luck. I even performed a location spell. Albus, he is not in the castle or on the grounds."

"Have you spoken with Severus?" Albus asked through gritted teeth. He wouldn't put it past the potions master to hide the boy.

"No. I came here immediately after performing the spell. Do you think Severus is hiding Harry?"

"There is a very high probability that he is."

"But why would he? Severus has no idea about your plans with Harry, does he? He had never been to any of the meetings where it was discussed." Minerva looked at one of the spinning silver orbs behind Albus in thought. "But I do know of someone who might have told Severus or taken Harry into hiding himself. Remus was extremely angry this morning."

"It was not Remus," Dumbledore stated, interrupting Minerva. With Minerva watching his every move, he went to the fireplace and firecalled Severus. The moment Severus answered, Albus ordered him up to his office.

"Why do you say it's not Remus?" Minerva asked, once Albus was again seated behind his desk.

Albus removed his glasses, rubbed at his eyes and put his glasses back on. "Remus is out running some last minute errands for me that will help in Hogsmeade. He left from here right after breakfast concluded."

"So that leaves Severus," Minerva breathed, knowing Harry had been in the common room up until breakfast. She could fully understand why Severus would not want Harry to participate in the attack. What parent would want their child to be involved in that type of life or death situation?

A few seconds later Severus stepped out of the floo. He brushed off his robes, which had not a speck of ash on them, while glaring at Albus. "What do you deem so important that you had to pull me away from my last minute preparations, headmaster?"

"Harry Potter," Albus answered gravely.

Severus' stomach dropped with dread at those two words, but he maintained his normal façade. "What about Mr. Potter?" he asked, walking toward the empty chair in front of Albus' desk. Instead of sitting down, he stood to the left side of it and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Where are you hiding him?" Minerva asked, since it seemed that Albus had no intention of speaking.

Severus' head snapped down to Minerva. "I am not hiding him. The last I heard, he was to be in a detention for you."

"He never showed up. Argus stuck around for fifteen minutes."

Dumbledore carefully watched Severus' reaction, glad that Minerva was taking over the conversation.

"And why is that my problem?" Severus asked, trying his best to keep his emotions in check. He had hoped that things would go the way he had them planned, for once; that he wouldn't have to worry about Harry and could have all his concentration on his task in a few hours.

Minerva stared at Severus incredulously. "You are his father."

Those words affected Severus more than he could imagine. He cleared his throat against a growing lump and tightened his fists until his knuckles turned white, to try and suppress his inner turmoil at those words. "You are his Head of House," he finally bit out once he had some control. "Why do you not keep tabs on your students?"

"Where is he Severus?" Minerva repeated, her patience waning.

"Probably in the same location he was when he went missing the first time. Did you happen to look there? Oh right. You never found out where he was or why he was missing. What kind of Head of House are you? You never even bothered to ask…"

"Enough Severus," Albus interrupted, slamming a hand on his desk to stop the bickering. "Where is Harry?"

Severus glared at Albus angrily for the reprimand. "I do not know," he stated calmly.

"Where was he hiding a few days ago?"

"I do not know," Severus answered again.

Minerva stood up, angry with Severus' antics. "Stop playing games, Severus. This is extremely important. Where was Harry hiding?"

Severus' glare transferred from Albus to Minerva. "How many times must I answer the same bloody question? I do not know where Harry was hiding?"

"You are his father, for Merlin's sake! Why didn't you ask him once he was found?"

"Because he does not want me as his father anymore," Severus yelled out, frustrated. He froze as he realized what he had just revealed. He hadn't wanted anyone to know, especially the headmaster. Without looking at either occupant in the room, especially the satisfied smirk he knew Albus was wearing since the man didn't want Harry and him to have that type of relationship, he whirled around and went back to the fireplace. "I need to finish preparing," he muttered before he vanished a second later.

After Severus left, Minerva sat back down and looked to Albus. She was a little unsettled at the look of triumph on the man's face. "What has you so happy Albus?"

"I just love it when everything falls into place." He sat back and gave Minerva a smile.

Feeling slightly sick at the realization of Albus' possible meaning, Minerva stood back up. "I guess you will have to come up with some other plans for the attack now. I best be off to make sure everyone who is in the castle stays in the castle."

~SH~

"Damn it all," Severus swore as he stepped out of his fireplace into his quarters. He sunk into his chair and put his head in his hands. "Why couldn't Harry just do what he was supposed to do for once in his life? And why did I let my emotions get the better of me in front of Albus?" Raising his head, he stared at the fireplace. He, unfortunately, didn't have time to worry about Harry; he couldn't afford it. He just hoped the boy was somewhere safe inside the castle.

With only a few more minutes before he needed to leave, he stood up, put on his Death Eater robes, and grabbed the handful of vials from the kitchen table that he had been gathering before being summoned to the headmaster's office. After waving an anti-breaking spell over the vials, he pocketed them and left for the apparition point outside the gates of Hogwarts.

~SH~

Harry glanced around woods as the time grew nearer for the Death Eaters to meet. There were Death Eaters milling about, but no one mentioned where and when Voldemort would arrive. Figuring he'd just have to search the village, he began to walk back to the main street.

In front of him in the distance, Harry saw Neville and Luna walk out of Gladrags. He was just about to run up to them when he remembered that they were on the train to Kings Cross. He actually watched them board. Before he even had time to contemplate what was going on, he heard something explode behind him.

Quickly turning around, he watched as the contents of the cart that had been in front of Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop rained down from the sky in pieces; ink, quills and wood all littering the ground.

A moment later the scene in front of him turned to one of complete chaos. The battle had begun. Curses were fired up and down the village. Shop keepers and customers began scrambling out of the buildings as some had caught fire.

Not wanting to be in the cross-fire, Harry rounded Zonkos and crouched down in the small alleyway watching the scene unfold in front of him. Curses were now being fired from Death Eaters, Order members, and business owners. But Harry didn't care what was going on with them and who was killing who. He'd have time to worry later. There was only one thought in his mind. Find Voldemort.

Hearing a snakelike voice echoing off the building, Harry made sure his cloak still covered him and crept back out to the main street. Dodging curses and running people, he hugged the buildings as he searched for Voldemort. He came to the end of Honeydukes and had just rounded the building when he saw Severus and Remus speaking to each other at the back of the little alleyway.

Harry stopped and just watched the two, being too far away from the men to hear their conversation. More than likely they were talking about how to attack the Death Eaters, though he did notice Severus was wearing his Death Eater attire. An instant later, however, Severus raised his wand and pointed it directly at Remus. Remus did the same. The look Severus then gave Remus caused terror to bubble up within Harry.

Before Harry knew what was happening, a shot of green light emerged from Severus' wand and struck Remus squarely in the chest. Harry felt all the air leave his lungs and he was frozen in place. It was the Ministry of Magic all over again. Remus fell to the ground with his wand still in his outstretched arm.

Time seemed to stand still as Harry watched Remus fall. He thought he might have screamed, but glancing around, saw no one took notice of him. Then again, his scream probably got lost with the rest of the screaming. Harry's eyes were brought back immediately to Severus. The man looked to be laughing with a satisfied smile. A moment later a Death Eater walked up to Severus with a smile as well. The two said a few words then left the scene laughing.

With a deafening roar in his ears, Harry stepped backward with a hand out reaching for the wall of the building he knew to be behind him. When he felt it, he immediately slid down and sat on the ground, legs pulled up to his chest. He was still looking at the location where Severus had just been while at the same time trying not to look at Remus, but the scene replayed over and over in his head.

Remus was dead at the hand of Severus. He had never felt so betrayed in his life.

~SH~

Fifteen minutes later, the shock having finally worn off and with a new determination, Harry rose slowly from the ground. He was now ready to end it all one way or the other. When he had initially come to Hogsmeade, his intent was to come out of the battle alive. In the blink of an eye, that had changed. Glancing sadly at Remus' body one last time, he turned away and continued in his search for Voldemort.

Walking in the direction of the Shrieking Shack, Harry spotted Voldemort between The Three Broomsticks and the post office. The evil wizard just stood there on the main road admiring all the destruction around him with an evil smirk. When Harry was standing ten feet in front of the Dark Lord, he tightened his hold on his wand and took a few deep breaths. Up until he watched Severus kill Remus, he wasn't sure if he could go through with it. But after being betrayed by Severus and then watching the last living adult he could count on die, he knew he was ready. He had nothing to lose if Voldemort killed him now. No one would miss him, except for Hermione and the Weasleys, but they'd get over it. It was his destiny after all. With wand at the ready, Harry quickly took off the invisibility cloak.

It took a few seconds before Voldemort realized who was standing in front of him. "Harry, is that you?" he questioned in his snake-like voice. "I now have no need to go looking for you. Wonderful."

"Yes, wonderful," Harry said emotionless. "It's time to end this once and for all. I'm ready to die. Are you?"

"I won't be dieing today. That will be you. But first, I want to have some fun." Voldemort raised his wand to Harry. "Crucio!"

Knowing what had to be done, Harry fought against every instinct to shout a protego and raise a shield the second Voldemort yelled the incantation. When the curse hit him, he immediately dropped to the ground, began twisting in pain, and clamped his lips shut. He would not cry out from the pain and give Voldemort the satisfaction. When the pain intensified, he bit his bottom lip to keep from screaming.

Not pleased with Harry's response to the curse, Voldemort let up on it, only to cast it again but this time a lot stronger.

For an instant, when the more intense curse hit him, Harry had a flashback of the graveyard in his fourth year. Like then, and just seconds earlier, Harry gave the same response to the curse; not a sound. But Voldemort wasn't letting up. The pain then became unbearable and he couldn't help but scream.

Voldemort let the curse up a minute later and lowered his wand. "This is not as satisfying as I had hoped. I know how to solve that problem, though." With an evil smile, he raised his wand one more time as Harry began to stand back up.

The spell hit Harry an instant later. Screaming himself hoarse, he dropped to the ground in excruciating pain. It felt like an elephant was standing on top of him causing every bone in his body to break. He could barely get any air into his lungs. Clenching his eyes tight and breathing very shallowly, he wished to pass out or die. But he had to finish this once and for all. He would not let Remus' death be in vain.

He rolled onto his side with a cry, intent on standing up. The moment he tried to put weight on his shoulder and arm to help him stand, the pain became too much. Instead, he returned to lying on his side facing Voldemort.

"It's been about fifteen years. Are you ready to end this now Harry Potter?" Voldemort asked.

Harry didn't respond. He just raised his wand. Voldemort did the same.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Seconds later, green light engulfed Harry.

~SH~

Severus dodged curses as he left the alleyway by Honeydukes, glad that the explosive potion was already in the hands of the Dark Lord. He walked down the main street and fired curses whenever he felt eyes on him. Coming upon the street leading to the Hog's Head, he ran into Dolohov. After inquiring about the Dark Lord, claiming he needed to see how the potion worked, Severus retraced his steps and headed back in the direction he had come from.

As he walked through the street, he noticed the screaming had died down considerably. Most of the shop keepers and customers had apparated or flooed out of the village. All that remained were mostly Death Eaters and Order members. Coming upon Honeydukes, a blood curdling scream rang out through the air.

Recognizing the scream instantly, Severus ran in the direction it more than likely originated, all the while cursing the echoing the placement of the buildings caused. He rounded the bend past the post office just as Voldemort threw the killing curse at Harry. In complete shock at what he was witnessing, it wasn't until Harry fell to the ground lifelessly that Severus screamed. "NO!" Without a thought, he raised his wand in absolute fury and pointed it at the Dark Lord who had yet to see him. "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

A green light shot out of Severus' wand and hit Voldemort in the chest. A moment later green sparks surrounded Voldemort which triggered a violent explosion. At the same time Severus' left arm erupted into excruciating pain. With his right hand over his left arm, Severus' eyes locked on Harry's body. He took a few steps toward the boy, not paying any attention to what was going on around him, when part of the post office was blown apart. Chunks of concrete rained down on Severus. A piece about the size of a baseball hit him on the back of the head, causing him to fall to the ground. Still wanting to get to Harry, he began to crawl over towards him. Concrete continued to rain down on him, and a few feet away from Harry, a large piece came crashing down and pinned him in place. Seconds later his world slowly began to go dark.

~SH~

The first thing Severus noticed when he began to regain consciousness was that the ground seemed very soft. That bothering him, he slowly opened his eyes. It was only seconds before he realized he was lying on one of the hospital beds back at the castle. Events of the attack, made him sit up quickly. He groaned as he became nauseated and lay back down.

"Not so fast Severus," Madame Pomfrey said while walking quickly toward his bed. "You have a very bad concussion. You were hit with pieces of concrete on the head and legs."

Severus ran a hand over the back of his head, wincing as he came across a rather large lump. "Where is Harry?" he rasped out, then began coughing. A glass of water was thrust in his hands. He took a few grateful sips. "Where is Harry?" he repeated, his voice just a little less raspy.

"Let's just worry about you now, Severus." Madame Pomfrey took the glass and set it on the bedside table. She then drew her wand out and ran a diagnostic.

"I need to see Harry." Severus then tried to sit up again, this time slower.

"Severus, lay back down this instant. You need to concentrate on getting better. You have a nasty concussion and the bones in your leg have just begun to heal. Some Order members said that before they were able to get to you a few curses were thrown at you from Death Eaters while you were unconscious. One has caused damage to your vocal cords. Stay still and be quiet." Severus, again, started to sit up. "Do you need me to bind you to this bed?"

Rolling his eyes, Severus lay back down. He'd appease the medi-witch for a little while. Faking a yawn, he closed his eyes and feigned sleep.

Satisfied her patient wouldn't leave the bed, Madame Pomfrey returned to her office. There were a few more records she needed to fill out for the handful of patients she had sent to St. Mungo's. Luckily they were just Order members and not innocent bystanders.

Against his will, Severus actually fell asleep. Hours later he awoke to the hospital wing bathed in moonlight. Quietly, and ever so slowly, he sat up and dropped his legs over the side of the bed. With help from the moonlight, Severus looked around the wing. Surprisingly, he found it almost completely empty. The only other occupied bed was the one he had been occupying a few days earlier. Wanting to see who else had been hurt in the attack, Severus got up and began to walk toward the bed.

After one step, he began to feel dizzy. He grabbed on to the footboard of the nearest bed and waited until the sensation passed. When he thought he could make it, he began to walk again. This time his legs wanted to give out. With the help of the beds between his and the occupied one, he slowly shuffled his way over.

Five long minutes later, Severus was standing at the foot of the occupied bed. His heart began to race in his chest when he recognized the pale face lying on the white pillow. With all the strength he could muster, he hobbled along the side of the bed towards the head, his eyes never leaving Harry's face. He had never seen the boy's face so pale. It was almost as white as the pillow upon which he lay.

Thinking he was dreaming or hallucinating, Severus brought a hand to rest on the top of Harry's head. Feeling the hair underneath his fingers, he sharply removed his hand and began to shake. "What…I don't understand…" With the trek over to the bed using all the little energy he had, and with the shock of what he was seeing, Severus crashed to the floor, knocking a glass of water off the bedside table in the process.

Poppy rushed out of her office at the sound. "What are you doing out of bed Severus?" she asked sternly, upon seeing the professor crumpled on the floor at Harry's bedside.

"Severus?" Poppy called out quietly. She walked over to him and laid a hand on his arm. "Severus?"

Lost in his thoughts and trying to comprehend what he was seeing, Severus started at the touch. He whipped his head up and came face to face with Poppy.

"Come Severus. Let's get you back to bed." She pulled gently on his arm to urge him to stand up and began leading him back to bed.

"Why would you put Harry in a bed when he…when he…," he swallowed, unable to finish his thought. "I saw him get hit with the killing curse, for Merlin's sake! Are you that cruel?"

Having arrived back at his bed, Poppy made him sit down. She took a vial that was on the side table and handed it to Severus who downed it without a question. "Harry did not die, Severus," Poppy related once she began to see the potion Severus had been given was starting to take effect. "He's alive. He's just in a coma."

"Oh…good," Severus replied around a yawn. He then got fully into bed and was out cold a few seconds later.

Poppy pulled the bed sheets over the professor and with a small smile returned to her office. She knew Severus should have been told about Harry's condition when he first asked, but she knew the stubborn professor would never have allowed himself to heal. He'd be too intent on making sure Harry was well.

~SH~

When Severus woke up hours later, it was early afternoon. He slowly sat up against the headboard as he noticed Poppy walking towards him not more than ten seconds later.

"I had to put a charm over you so I would know when you woke up," Poppy stated as she came to Severus' bed and saw his questioning look. "I didn't trust that you would stay in your bed once you woke."

Not really acknowledging the medi-witch, Severus turned his head to Harry's bed. "How can Harry be alive? I watched him get hit with the killing curse. What happened?"

Poppy placed a table over Severus' lap. "I will explain everything while you eat. You haven't eaten in over twenty four hours."

Not hungry in the slightest, but knowing he didn't have the energy to fight Poppy over the matter, Severus gave in. Harry was too important, besides.

Nodding with a smile as Severus began eating the broth in front of him, she began to answer Severus' questions. "Yes, Severus, Harry is alive. And unfortunately his condition hasn't changed since last night. He is still in a coma. After a lengthy conversation between myself and Albus, we can only assume that because of Harry's connection to You-Know-Who through his scar, that when the curse was cast at him yesterday, it was that connection that died, not Harry."

"I cast the killing curse on the Dark Lord," Severus muttered.

"Yes. And there is nothing left of him. I was told that bits and pieces of him were scattered all throughout the streets."

"When will he come out of his coma?" Severus asked, voice quiet, while looking over at Harry.

"That all depends on him, Severus. He has an extensive list of injuries, but none would cause him to be in or stay in this state." Poppy glanced at Harry and then back at Severus, who was still looking at Harry. "I wish I could give you a definite answer."

* * *

_Wow! I've actually updated. I sure hope I haven't lost any readers, but with this huge amount of time between chapters, I probably have. If you're still with me after all these months, and years, here's a box of chocolate frogs. :) _

_I really must apologize for the lack of an update over these past few months. Besides a major case of writers block, I think a part of me didn't really want to write any more. I'm coming to the end of the story and with it being a huge part of my life for the past five years, I guess I just don't want it to end. :(_

_I'm actually not at all happy with how this chapter came out, especially the battle, but after reading bits and pieces of it it over and over these past few months, there was nothing I could really do or add to it (wish I was a better writer). Because the battle was one of the scenes I knew that I wanted when I started writing this over five years ago, I was hoping it would a great chapter. Unfortunately I don't think that happened. I hope I didn't let anyone down, besides myself, with it._


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

Severus hadn't been in the hospital wing and confined to his bed for more than a day before he started to go stir crazy. He sat up in his bed scowling at Poppy with his arms crossed over his chest. "Poppy, I am not a foolish twelve year old boy. I am a responsible adult. I think I can manage to take care of myself in my own quarters."

"Is that so?" Poppy questioned, amused. "If your past is any indication, I think not." She turned back to Harry's bed and finished fixing his blanket. "Severus, in all seriousness, someone needs to watch over you. You've had a concussion. Besides, we're still not sure of all the effects those unknown curses have on you."

"Fine," Severus huffed, because he knew her statement was actually true. He looked over at Harry with indecision. "What if you move me to the professors' wing?"

Poppy looked over her shoulder to Severus. "I do not trust you to stay."

Though he was glad for that answer, since he truly wanted to stay as close as possible to Harry, he dropped his hands down on to the mattress as loud as he could. "Can you at least spare me some dignity and put up curtains around my bed, please? It will not due for students to see me in this condition, and in hospital pajamas, no less."

Having finished up with Harry, Poppy walked over to Severus' bed. "The school is almost empty. There is no need."

"Are there still students residing in this castle?" Severus asked, with an eyebrow raised.

Poppy rolled her eyes. "You better not force me in to putting up a monitoring spell over your bed." She pulled out her wand and three cream colored curtains on wheels came rolling out of the storeroom. "I swear, Severus. With the way you're behaving, I'm actually surprised you let the students see you eat."

Severus watched in satisfaction as the curtains surrounded his bed while ignoring her jab at him. He frowned at the medi-witch, however, when the curtain on his right blocked his view of Harry.

Reading the look on Severus' face, Poppy charmed the offending curtain with a one-way view. This allowed the potions master a full view of Harry from the inside while anyone on the outside would see just a solid curtain.

"Thank you, Poppy," Severus said in appreciation a few seconds later.

Replacing her wand and without a word, Poppy left Severus' bed and returned to her office.

Later that night, after a dinner of stew and crusty bread, Severus sat reading one of his novels that Poppy had a house elf fetch earlier. He had just begun reading a new chapter when the hospital wing doors squeaked open, disturbing the peaceful quiet. Severus glanced up from his book and looked towards Harry and the room's windows. By the placement of the moonlight filtering through the windows, it looked to be right around curfew. Hearing two different sets of footsteps, Severus marked his page and set the book aside, curious as to who was visiting the wing.

His gaze followed the path of the footsteps, even though he couldn't see the visitors. They both stopped in the direction of the right side of his bed. A moment later, Severus was able to see the headmaster and transfiguration professor at Harry's bedside. Poppy joined the two a few seconds later.

"Can we assume there hasn't been any change Poppy?" Minerva asked.

Severus didn't hear Poppy's response. He was too busy trying to keep himself in his bed. If he didn't care about his future, he would have walked over to McGonagall and cursed her. But not before giving her a piece of his mind. If she had been more responsible for her students, Harry wouldn't be in the position he was currently in.

As he was going through all the different curses he could throw at her, each more evil then the next, the words 'more responsible' kept making an appearance in his mind. He looked sadly at Harry; the boy still as pale as his pillow.

More responsible. Severus felt like he got kicked in the stomach. It was _his_ fault Harry was lying a few feet away from him in a coma. If he had been the adult, had truly spoken to Harry and actually listened to what Harry was saying on the occasions they had talked, and had replaced all his altered memories months ago, none of this might have happened.

Since he couldn't seem to do anything right, maybe it was a good thing Harry ended up rejecting him. Maybe he was better off watching out for Harry from the sidelines, having had that role during the boy's first five years at Hogwarts. Harry seemed to have fared fairly well without any interference from him. Well, except for trying to save the sorcerers' stone, going down into the chamber of secrets, chasing after an escaped convict, the fiasco at the Ministry of Magic. Severus shook his head. He'd have to watch out a little bit better in the future.

It was then that he noticed that the wing was peacefully quiet again. Standing up, he slipped to one of the corners of the curtains and peered out. The room was empty. Glad, he returned to his bed and continued reading.

He got through two paragraphs before he slammed the book back down. Watching Harry from the sidelines wouldn't be good enough. There was no way in hell he'd allow Harry to go back to the Dursleys. And that would definitely happen if he didn't officially call Harry his own.

Severus spent his remaining waking hours that night trying to come up with a way to get Harry to talk to him again. They really had some important issues to discuss whether the boy liked it or not.

~SH~

"Well?" Severus asked in slight anticipation, sounding like a second year after asking his parents if he could try out for Quidditch. "What's the verdict?"

Poppy put her wand away and smiled at Severus. "You'll be happy to know that you are no longer confined to this bed or in need of the hospital wing. You are free to return to your quarters at any time."

Severus looked over at Harry and then back to the medi-witch before responding. "Thank you, Poppy."

Nodding her head, Poppy turned around and returned to her quarters which were on the other side of her office.

Normally he couldn't wait to be out of the hospital wing, but for the first time in his life, Severus had no desire to leave. It had been three days since the attack on Hogsmeade; three days since Harry was brought to the hospital wing in a coma with no sign of improving. Slowly, Severus got out of the bed and walked over to Harry's bedside. He pulled a chair over to the head and just sat there staring at the boy, willing him to wake up.

A few minutes later the sound of the door opening and closing behind him could be heard, but Severus' eyes remained fixed on Harry. He no longer had an interest in who was visiting the wing.

"Any change in Harry?" the visitor asked.

"No," Severus answered quietly. He then finally looked up as the visitor stood on the opposite side of Harry's bed. "How are you doing, Remus? I hope that spell didn't cause any harm."

Remus gave Severus a warm smile. "Don't worry about me. I've had much worse." Following Severus' gaze, he looked down to Harry. "I'm more worried about Harry. And you," he added after a pause.

Severus looked up in surprise.

"Poppy's told me she's had a hard time getting you to eat and sleep, Severus. All you've been doing is lying in bed watching Harry."

Severus swallowed. "He needs to wake up." He put a hand on top of Harry's.

"And what good will that do if he's awake and you're sick? He needs you healthy, Severus, for when he gets out of this."

"I know," Severus whispered, "but I don't dare leave him. What if he wakes up and I'm not here?"

"Why don't you just come down to the Great Hall and have some lunch. Harry's been in this state for three days. What will being gone for forty minutes hurt? If there's any change in Harry, I'm sure Poppy will notify you immediately."

Knowing he couldn't afford to get ill, Severus gave Harry's hand a gentle squeeze and after speaking with Poppy, reluctantly followed the man out of the hospital wing and down to the Great Hall.

Fifty minutes later, after having eaten and been convinced to take a shower and change clothes, Severus was seated again at Harry's bedside. "I am so sorry, Harry. I didn't mean for this to happen. Please wake up," he murmured while running a hand through Harry's hair. He then took the boy's cold hand in his own.

Not long after, the exertion he'd put his body through that afternoon, along with his lack of sleep, began to take its toll. Severus yawned as his eyelids began to get heavy. Laying his head next to their combined hands, he fell asleep.

~SH~

Harry lolled his head from side to side and slowly began to wake up. It took him only seconds to realize that he was in the hospital wing. He closed his eyes and almost groaned in response. He always seemed to wake up in the hospital wing. Most occasions he knew why he had arrived, but not this time.

Having been notified by the spell she placed over Harry to alert her when he woke up, Poppy rushed out of her office seconds later grinning madly. "Wonderful, Mr. Potter. You're finally awake."

"How did I get here?" he asked, his voice rough and quiet. He tried to scoot up in bed, but Poppy gently pushed him back down. "The last thing I remember is standing up to Voldemort." He coughed a few times then cleared his throat.

"Stay still, Mr. Potter. I'd rather you not move around so much right now." She handed him a glass of water. "Some Aurors brought you here after finding you in Hogsmeade."

"Oh." After taking a few sips of water through a straw, he handed the glass back. "What day is it?"

Poppy ran her wand over Harry to determine what remained of his injuries. "It is Wednesday evening. And before you ask, you'll be here until at least Saturday."

"Okay," Harry said, his voice still quiet, almost like it took too much energy to talk. As much as he hated the hospital wing, he would rather stay here and be alone then back in his tower surrounded by his classmates who stayed at the castle for the weeklong break. Pulling the covers up closer to his chin, he winced at the pain the action caused. "What's wrong with me?"

"Well, you've been in a coma since you were brought here Saturday afternoon. That was our main worry. Now you just have a major case of exhaustion and a lot of lacerations and broken bones that are on the mend. Unfortunately a few of those bones are your ribs and those will take just a little more time to heal properly."

Harry thought back to the last moments he remembered in Hogsmeade. "Could almost all of those injuries be because of curses?"

"I would say yes. It is because of those curses that not all of your injuries are being healed with magic. I didn't want to take any chances of things going wrong."

Harry nodded. That would definitely explain why it felt like all his bones were being broken when he was being cursed by Voldemort and why he was still hurting.

Poppy waved her wand again and a bowl of broth and a glass of pumpkin juice appeared on a tray which she levitated to Harry's lap. "You are probably not all that hungry, but I really would like you to try and eat a little bit. Nutrient potions spelled into your system can only do so much. I'll be in my office, but if you need me, just ring the bell that's next to your bed."

"Okay. Thanks." Once the medi-witch was gone, Harry just stared at the bowl of soup. He wasn't the slightest bit interested in eating. Not caring what would happen, he put the tray aside, and turned onto his side facing the wall.

Staring at the wall, he tried to determine what went wrong. The last thing he remembered was the killing curse being cast, and he didn't think it came from his mouth. By all rights he should not be alive and in this bed. He took a shuddering breath and cursed his luck. Not that he was truly suicidal, but he had hoped everything would have ended right there.

Now what was he to do? He'd be forced to go back and live with the Dursleys. Remus was dead and Snape was no longer his father. And even if he still was, there would be no way he'd want to have that relationship with the man. Not after he killed Remus. Snape should actually be locked up in Azkaban for it. Harry smiled at the thought that maybe Snape never even made it out of the attack alive.

Thirty minutes later, after an admonishing from Madam Pomfrey, Harry grudgingly ate the bowl of broth. Once finished, he returned to lying on his side and eventually fell asleep.

~SH~

By early Wednesday, Severus realized he had to keep himself busy to stay sane. Hanging around the hospital wing waiting for Harry to wake up wasn't doing anyone any good. Besides, he knew he would be the last person Harry would want to see when he woke up. He was driving himself, along with Poppy, absolutely crazy. Deciding it best for all parties involved, Severus left the hospital wing and returned to his quarters to get back to his normal routine. He did decide to set aside some time to visit the hospital wing for a few hours in the late evenings to check up on the boy though.

Wednesday evening after dinner, Severus decided to stroll through the castle. Halfway up the stairs to the astronomy tower he heard a pop and the hospital wing house elf appeared, handed him a letter and then disappeared. Severus opened the parchment and read the short note. With the note clutched in his hand, he quickly turned around and headed to the hospital wing.

Not more than five minutes later, he was walking through the doors and on his way to Harry's bed. Poppy was standing at the foot reading through the boy's medical records.

"He's awake?" Severus questioned, looking at Harry asleep on the bed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Severus. He woke up about two hours ago. I had him eat some broth and when he was done, he fell asleep."

Severus studied the boy in front of him. He looked just like he did over the past few days. With a bit of fear, he looked at Poppy. "But how do you…"

"Relax. He did not go back into a coma. He is just asleep."

Severus let out a deep breath at the news. "How is he doing? Will he be okay? Will he have any lasting effects from the curses or coma?"

Poppy replaced Harry's file at the foot of the bed. "Aside from malnutrition and exhaustion, not to mention the mending of all his broken bones and lacerations, he is well. I will be keeping him here until Saturday for observation and to make sure he is completely healed. I don't anticipate any further complications after he is released, however I will have him return to me with anything unusual or out of the ordinary."

Severus breathed a sigh of relief. "That is good to hear."

"Would you like me to notify you when he wakes up again? I am sure you have plenty of things to discuss with him.

With his stomach twisting almost painfully, Severus looked to Harry. "No," he choked out. "I think it best if I don't return when he is awake."

Poppy looked at the professor with confusion. "Are you sure? I thought you would have liked to talk to him."

"I am sure, Poppy. But please continue to keep me updated on his progress."

"Of course." Before Poppy could utter another word, the fireplace in her office sprang to life. "Excuse me, Severus. I'm expecting a fire call from St. Mungo's."

Severus nodded. Once Poppy was back in her office, he walked to the head of Harry's bed and gently ran a hand through the boy's hair. A few seconds later he turned around and quickly left the hospital wing.

~SH~

Waiting expectantly for some of his housemates to visit, Harry scooted to a sitting position and retrieved his glasses when he heard the hospital wing doors open. At the sight of his Head of House walking in his direction, he sunk back dejectedly.

McGonagall approached Harry's bed. "Good afternoon, Mr. Potter. How are you feeling this fine Thursday afternoon?"

Harry shrugged. "Okay I guess."

"That is good news." She smiled and placed the items in her arms onto the side table. "Madam Pomfrey has given her okay for you to begin your holiday homework and partake in any recreational reading you would like."

That being the last thing Harry wanted to hear, he glowered at the items that had been set next to him.

"Don't make that face Mr. Potter. You know you are not excused from completing your assignments. There are still a few days until term resumes so you should have plenty of time to relax _and_ complete your homework."

"Yes ma'am." Harry sunk even farther down into his bed.

"If there is anything else you find you need from your dorm, please let Madam Pomfrey know. I'll leave you to it then," McGonagall stated after Harry nodded, then turned and left.

Harry glanced at the stack of books and groaned. It was then he remembered his friends had gone home for the week long vacation. Turning away from the offending items on the table, he closed his eyes and eventually fell asleep.

~SH~

For the rest of the week, Severus continued with his normal routine and received updates on Harry's progress every morning. Thursday and Friday night, when he was certain Harry would be sleeping, he ventured up to the hospital wing and spent some time just sitting at his bedside. Friday night he spent almost five hours there knowing it would be the last time he would probably ever get to be with Harry. He was not looking forward to the boy being released the next day.

Saturday morning, while eating his breakfast in the Great Hall, one of the school owls dropped a note in his scrambled eggs. Scowling, he wiped the parchment on his napkin and unfolded it to read.

_Severus,_

_Having just run a diagnostic on Harry, I have decided to keep him in the hospital wing until Sunday morning. There is no need to be alarmed. He is just not as recovered as I had hoped he would be. He's still slightly exhausted._

_Poppy _

Severus crumpled up the parchment and it was then that he finally looked out at the students in the room and noticed Harry was not among them. He had been reluctant to see the boy so he never looked around the room after he entered.

Even though Poppy said there was nothing to worry about, Severus couldn't help but do just that. It was only natural after what Harry had been through last week. Trying to ignore his feelings, Severus quickly finished his breakfast and went down to his lab. Brewing usually put his mind at ease. He only hoped it worked this time.

~SH~

Harry stood just outside the doors of the Great Hall Sunday morning, not yet ready to go in. No doubt his friends had heard about the attack on Hogsmeade and would want to know what he knew. He just didn't want to talk about it.

"Hi Harry!" Neville exclaimed as he walked up behind Harry. "What are you standing out here for? Come on."

Reluctantly, Harry followed Neville into the large room and to their table. Though he still wasn't all that hungry, he grabbed a bowl and took a few scoops of oatmeal. Between bites, he decided it would be best to just act normal and hope the subject of Hogsmeade was never mentioned. "How was your break Neville? Did you do anything fun?"

Neville swallowed his food before answering. "It wasn't all that bad. I did have to do my homework and some things around the house, but Gram also decided to take me to London. We spent a few days there."

"What did you see and do in London?"

"We actually took a Muggle river tour of the city. It actually surprised me. I never thought she'd want to do anything Muggle." Neville stopped talking and munched on a piece of bacon. "You really need to go on one of those Harry. You'd be in awe of all the things there are to see. So what did you do while stuck here all week?"

At Neville's mention of the river cruise, Harry's eyes had been immediately drawn up to the head table as he remembered the river tour he took with Severus months ago. His eyes went wide and he began to turn pale at what he saw. Sitting in his usual spot to the headmasters left, was Professor Lupin.

At the lack of response from Harry, Neville looked over at him. "Harry, are you okay?" he asked at seeing how pale Harry was. "Harry?" When he still didn't get a response, Neville followed Harry's gaze hoping to see what had his friend's complete attention, but he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. "What's wrong Harry?" He waved a hand in front of Harry's eyes to get his attention.

Seeing the hand, Harry finally looked over to Neville.

"Are you okay?" Neville asked again.

"I…" He paused and looked back up to the head table knowing he couldn't be seeing what he was seeing. Lupin was dead. "Sorry. I don't feel good." He stood up and rushed out of hall. He could not be seeing what he was seeing. Maybe the medi-witch missed something. Maybe one of the spells Voldemort cast on him made him hallucinate. Wanting to get up to the hospital wing as soon as possible to keep his promise to Madam Pomfrey, he began running for the stairs.

He burst through the doors of the hospital wing a few minutes later. "Madam Pomfrey! Madam Pomfrey!" he yelled, extremely worried. "I think one of the curses that hit me is causing hallucinations. I know someone to be dead, but I just saw them in the Great Hall. Madam Pomfrey!"

"What is all this racket?" Severus asked, coming out of the storage closet and locking it closed behind him. "This is a hospital wing, not a Quidditch pitch."

Skidding to a stop, Harry slowly turned around at the sound of the voice. He stared up at the professor and gulped audibly. This was the last person he wanted to see. "Where is Madam Pomfrey?" he asked angrily.

"I'm right here, Mr. Potter," she answered coming out of her office. "What has you so agitated?"

"Can we please go to your office, Madam Pomfrey? I don't want to talk in front of him." He glared at Snape then turned and faced the medi-witch.

"I do not tolerate that type of speech, Mr. Potter," Poppy admonished. "I haven't done it in years, but I will take house points."

Harry shrugged his shoulders in response, not too sure what had gotten in to him.

"Mr. Potter, you are on very thin ice," Severus said, moving a few paces closer to Harry. "That being the case, I feel it best if you stay right here and answer Madam Pomfrey's question. I am not going anywhere."

In anger, Harry crossed his arms over his chest and stayed quiet. He really wanted to speak with the medi-witch about what he had seen, but he wasn't going to the give the professor the satisfaction of doing anything that he told him to do.

Severus was now standing right next to Harry. "You have to the count of three to start speaking, Mr. Potter. Unless you'd like to have Gryffindor lose twenty house points."

"Fine," he said, glaring again at the professor then looking away. "Madam Pomfrey, I think one of the curses that hit me is causing me to have hallucinations."

She pulled out her wand and began a diagnostic on Harry. "What makes you say that, Mr. Potter?"

"Well, I saw someone I know to be dead sitting down for breakfast in the Great Hall." He began to turn pale again as he remembered seeing Professor Lupin taking a sip of coffee at the head table only minutes before.

Noticing Harry was slightly wavering where he stood, Poppy put a hand to his shoulder and steered him to the nearest bed. "Who do you think you saw?"

Harry sat on the bed staring at his lap. "Professor Lupin."

At those words, Madam Pomfrey and Severus exchanged quick glances.

"But it couldn't have been the professor," Harry continued. "I watched him die. By his hands," he yelled, pointing at Snape.

"Mr. Potter, I am afraid…" Poppy began before Severus cut her off.

"Poppy, don't you have an appointment with the Headmaster?" Severus asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh yes," she nodded in understanding. "Thank you Severus. I completely forgot." She put her wand back in her pocket and began walking away from Harry.

"But what about the curse? What about what I saw?" Harry questioned in disbelief then jumped out of the bed. "You told me to come to you if I experienced anything unusual. Well, I've come to you like you asked and now you're dismissing it and me?"

"No need to work yourself up, Mr. Potter. Just because I have to leave doesn't mean you or what you've experienced is being dismissed." Poppy stopped walking when she met Severus' side. "Professor Snape is fully aware of your condition and I believe the best person to answer your questions."

Harry looked horror struck. He almost asked how the professor knew about his condition, but decided he truly didn't want to know. "But I came to you, not him. Besides, he's the one that killed him. I am not speaking to him."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, but I cannot help you. I need to get to the Headmaster's office immediately. I'm late as it is." She turned to Severus. "Thank you for bringing up those potions you brewed for me, Severus." She then swept out of the wing.

Harry stared at the hospital wing doors in disbelief. How could the medi-witch just leave him like that? Well one thing was certain. He was not going to talk to Lupin's murderer. Quickly he began to head for the doors. He'd just come back to speak with the medi-witch later.

"Where do you think you are going, Mr. Potter?" Severus asked as he put a hand on Harry's arm to stop him from leaving.

"Let go of me," Harry yelled, struggling against the grip on his arm. "I am not talking to you. You're the one who should be dead. Not him. Get away from me, Snape!" he screamed, while trying to pull his arm out of the man's grasp.

Taking a deep breath, Severus closed his eyes and ran his free hand over his face. Ignoring Harry's protests, he led Harry to one of the beds, the grip on the boy's arm tightening.

Harry tried yanking his arm back. "Let me go!" Not wanting to be led back to the beds, he dug his heels into the stone floor and continued struggling against the grip on his arm. "You killed him," he accused. "I saw you do it. You belong in Azkaban. You're a murderer! Why would I want to talk to you?"

Fed up with Harry's antics, Severus shook the boy's arm once. "Enough, Harry."

At his first name being used, Harry stopped struggling and stared at the professor. The man had switched out his memories about a week ago. Remus had told him so. Why did the professor call him by his first name?

"You are not leaving this room until we have talked." Without any resistance, Severus brought Harry to one of the beds and made him sit down. "You will sit here until you talk."

With arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face, Harry sat on the bed and stared at the floor. The professor could stand there all day, for all he cared. He was not going to speak.

Knowing the boy's stubbornness, Severus grabbed a chair from the side of one of the other beds, plonked it down in front of Harry and took a seat. "I can sit here all day. Can you?"

At those words, Harry's stomach growled. It was then that he realized he hadn't really eaten any breakfast. Well, he'd gone through days without meals at the Dursleys. He could certainly handle missing one or two meals today.

Smirking, Severus summoned one of Poppy's magazines and flipped it open. While pretending to read, he took to observing the boy with obvious concern. He knew Harry was not hallucinating, but he wasn't sure if the boy's attitude was because of a curse.

"Why did you do it? Why did you kill Remus?" Harry asked quietly a few minutes later, the hurt very noticeable in his voice. All his previous anger had since disappeared. "He was the only adult I could count on." Harry knew that statement was a lie; Lupin's actions towards him over the past few months were proof of that. However he couldn't help adding that last statement.

Severus felt like he got kicked in the stomach after hearing Harry's last comment. Did the boy truly think he had no adult to count on? "You had me to…" Severus stopped himself as realization of his actions towards Harry the last month or so came to his mind. Harry _hadn't_ had anyone to count on. Clearing his throat, Severus decided to return the question. "Why do you think I killed Remus?"

Harry whipped his head over to Severus in astonishment. "You're joking right? I saw you. Both of you were at the back of the alleyway behind Honeydukes. I saw you lift your wand to him and cast the killing curse. Lupin dropped to the ground seconds later." He swallowed painfully as the scene replayed in his mind. "And then you had the audacity to laugh about it with another death eater." He paused as his earlier anger returned. "Why did you do it?"

"Harry," Severus began, closing the magazine and setting it on the bed behind him.

"No. Stop. Stop calling me that. Why are you calling me that?"

Severus didn't want to get into that discussion so he ignored the question. "You should not have seen that. You were not even supposed to be in Hogsmeade. How do you think I would have felt if…" Severus again stopped himself.

Harry realized that was the second time Snape stopped himself from saying something that had to possibly be about the two of them. He looked at the professor a little curious.

"Remus is not dead," Severus finally answered. Taking a chance, he got up from the chair and sat down on the bed next to Harry.

"He is. I saw…"

"I know what you saw, Harry, but Remus is alive. It was all an act."

"I don't understand." He looked at the professor in confusion, not truly realizing the man was now sitting right next to him.

"I won't go into detail, but my loyalty to the Dark Lord was in question. I had to prove my allegiance was to him. It was all an act."

Harry sagged in relief, unconsciously leaning against the professor. "So I'm not hallucinating. I really did see Lupin in the Great Hall?"

"Yes you did. And he's perfectly fine." Severus put an arm around Harry and pulled him closer to his side. When Harry didn't immediately pull away, he began to feel hopeful.

"That's good," Harry whispered happily, and closed his eyes sinking further into Severus' side. Remus was alive. Snape wasn't a murderer. He could go back to having a father again. But then he remembered that the man had removed and destroyed all his real memories of the both of them. The professor didn't want him. At that realization, his eyes flew open and he took in his current position. He was lying against the professor with the man's arm around him. He stiffened immediately.

Noticing the change in Harry, Severus looked down in concern.

"This isn't real," Harry whispered to himself, shaking his head back and forth. "It's a dream. It's just like the others. As much as I want it, it's not real. It never will be," he added sadly.

All the air rushed out of Severus' lungs at Harry's quiet statement. Harry still wanted him in his life; still wanted to be sitting next to him like this. He never thought he'd get the opportunity again. Severus' eyes prickled painfully and he felt tears building, but did nothing to stop them.

Harry felt the arm around him tighten and his throat constricted immediately. "It's just a dream," he choked out and dropped his head.

"It is not," Severus responded quietly but roughly, while removing his arm from around Harry and standing up to face him.

Harry slowly looked up and was startled by what he saw. Aside from the memories he'd seen in the pensive, he'd never seen the professor look so emotional. The man was even trying to hold back tears. "Dad?" he questioned hopefully.

Severus nodded his head, his heart constricting painfully in his chest at Harry's question. "Yes," he answered in a strangled voice.

At that word, Harry flew out of the bed and into Severus, wrapping his arms around him tightly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I said in your office when you got called. I didn't mean it," he cried. "I didn't mean any of it."

Relishing in the feeling of Harry in his arms again, he tightened his hold of the boy and rested his chin on top of his head. "Shh!," he whispered. "Don't worry about any of it right now."

When Harry's stomach growled a minute later, Severus chuckled and moved out of the embrace. He held Harry at arm's length and just looked at him. The boy had a huge grin on his face with tears streaking down both cheeks. "I think it's time you ate breakfast."

Harry's face fell. "But I just got you again." He sniffed and ran a hand under his runny nose. "I don't want to leave you."

"Oh Harry," Severus said, feeling his heart constrict again. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a handkerchief and gently wiped the tears off of Harry's face.

Harry closed his eyes, savoring in the feeling of the small gesture.

Severus shook his head. "You silly boy. We're going to our quarters. I need to eat as well." He handed the handkerchief to Harry when the boy gave a loud sniff again. "Blow your nose."

After Harry obliged, he put a hand to the boy's shoulder and led him out into the corridor and toward their quarters. "After we are done eating, we need to have a serious discussion."

Harry gulped in slight fear. "Okay." He had a hunch the discussion wouldn't be pleasant, but all he cared about at the moment was the feeling of the professor's hand, his dad's hand, on his shoulder.

* * *

_I know...I know. It's been ages since an update. Believe me, I have been writing. I can't tell you how many times parts of this chapter had been rewritten. Hope everyone likes it. Happy Labor Day!  
_

_As always, thanks for all the wonderful reviews!_


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